We often have blogs about depression or suicidal thoughts.

Several years ago, I was having suicidal thoughts. I’m a person who believes everyone is responsible for their attitudes. I couldn’t believe I was actually giving suicide consideration.

I’ve been through some very bleak days in my life. Yet – suicide hadn’t entered into my thoughts as a way to fix my situations. It didn’t seem right that I was suddenly going there.

Last Sunday, 60 Minutes had a segment about trans.

https://www.cbs.com/shows/60_minutes/video/Q3tmFP_EoyZrqeaAD...

It started out as a discussion of anti-trans laws and quickly took a sharp turn into the ease of convincing doctors to start hormone therapy and actual SRS.

Scientists have suggested that herd immunity might not be a feasible goal for the United States. They state the main factor stopping herd immunity is vaccine reluctance.

I have "death reluctance."

What doesn't the government hold a $100,000,000 lottery for all those who have been fully vaccinated as of July 1?

Given a shot at $100M might prompt the damn fools to roll up their sleeves.

Why should those of us who have done the right thing suffer under the distinct peril of this virus mutating, when we have the chance to eradicate it.

Jill

“There ain't no sin and there ain't no virtue. There's just stuff people do.”
― John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath

I live in the Twin Cities. My attention to the George Floyd trial might exceed that of the average BC visitor. My anger at what occurred has gone up with each new bit of prosecutorial evidence.

It seems George Floyd died because the police officer who killed him had marginalized him.

There’s been a lot of discussion in a different thread about the decision to pull several Dr. Seuss books from publication.

Much of the chatter seems to regard a book as “art” or “history of a certain time.”

I certainly agree. Books like “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” and “Huck Finn” are examples of books that are offensive by today’s standards -- that should never be lost to readers.

What that other discussion seemingly misses – and a point that should never be missed on this site – is that books are chattel.

A few years ago, I asked Erin if she would be interested in publishing Peaches through Doppler Press. I agreed to donate all proceeds to the maintenance of BC.

I wasn’t sure what to think and frankly sort of washed my hands of it and didn't think much about how many books were being sold. Last summer, Erin told me about the amount of money the sales of my books have generated. I was amazed and gratified.

My anxiety started at about 10:00 last night.

My thirty-year-old baby, the daughter who came to us later than most and after three boys -- called us complaining of intense pain.

She didn't want to go to the hospital until, and if, it was absolutely necessary due to covid worries. Yet - the pains seemed to be intensifying.

We were over two hundred miles away and could only give suggestions and sympathy.

At 4:30 we received a FaceTime call. The image of my wonderful daughter and her new son caused my heart to swell.

I finally went to sleep.

Troubles by the score.

Why do I have such a fixation on the Kudos and Total Views numbers?

That is a very good question when you consider that I’ve been saying for eons that there is absolutely no correlation between the quality of writing and these two numbers, for any given story.

The over-riding answer is this – I’ve seen too many new or impressionable writers turned off when their stories don’t receive high scores.

In a few days I will post the final chapter for my mini-serial "The Womb of the Unknown Cheerleader."

A few days after that, I will unpublish the story. It is scheduled to form part of a Doppler Press book called "How You Play the Game." Rasufelle is putting the finishing touches on another enticing cover.

It will join over a dozen other books I've donated to BC. I take no part of the revenues generated.

My total word count posted on BC has just gone over one million.

I suppose that was almost inevitable given my immediate infatuation with a word processor three decades ago.

Thank you Erin for giving me a place to publicly display my stories.

As a dear friend of mine, Percy Ross, said many times, "Thanks a million!"

Jill

I was a little under the weather yesterday, so I spent the day reading A Time for Mercy the latest Grisham novel.

John Grisham has sold over 300 million books.

He talked a small press into publishing 5,000 copies of his first book A Time to Kill. In his words, he couldn’t give it away.

Then Random House published his second novel The Firm. It became a bestseller and he eventually also sold millions of copies of A Time to Kill.

What does this mean to BC writers?

Nearly thirty years ago, I accomplished something good that had me on the front page of statewide newspapers, repeatedly. Many, many good things happened for hundreds of thousands of people as a direct result of my efforts.

Then some bad people asked me to do some unlawful things, which I refused to do.

At the same time, other people wanted to make money they weren’t entitled to.

Thirty months into the project, I found myself accused by a state-wide elected official of malfeasance.

I was the subject of several frontpage exposes.

Nora Ephron said “Writers are cannibals. They really are. They are predators, and if you are friends with them, and if you say anything funny at dinner, or if anything good happens to you, you are in big trouble.”

In a sense, we do devour everything we see and regurgitate it, as needed.

I’m more curious about a different kind of cannibalizing. In marketing, be use that term when introducing a new product or service.

Will the new product help us gain market share. . .or will it simply cut into our current sales?

Over the last two decades, I’ve written many dozens of TG stories.

Some are light and fluffy.

Some are dark and dreary.

My stories have gathered over twelve thousand kudos and about two thousand comments -- whatever that means.

All in all, I think I have a broad understanding of those BC readers who are kind enough to comment or post a kudos.

In general, I think that represents about three to five percent of those who read stories here.

Gabi is. . .

Generous
Amazing
Brainy
In my heart

This early summer I became a “covidiot” and threw a BC temper tantrum.

An amazing number of people reached out to me and either told me to revert to form or to not take things so personally.

They were all right in their advice.

I had announced that I had unpublished all my stories, which I did.