Trismegistus Shandy

Wings, part 54 of 62

I’d originally been going to title it “Venn-Splitting for Long-Distance Relationships,” but Sophia had come up with a snappier title, “Splitting for Togetherness.”

Wings, part 53 of 62

One day in mid-December, a few days after Meredith came home from UNC Chapel Hill for Christmas, I was taking a break at work and hanging out with Genevieve and Terri for a few minutes. Genevieve was a kind of beetle-bee hybrid, with a bee’s striped fuzzy underbelly and a beetle’s elytra over her wings, and a slightly human-ish face. Terri was a big mushroom with a face and arms and four small feet, apparently based on a fantasy creature from a story she liked, “though the ones in the book are a lot smaller,” she said. I was in one of my more outre dragon-like bodies, slender with silver scales and four smaller wings more like a butterfly or moth than a bat.

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Wings, part 51 of 62

“I’m not against letting formerly disabled kids compete,” Eric said, “but I’m not sure exactly where you’d draw the line between someone venned into a healthy body and someone venned into a more athletic body.”

Wings, part 49 of 62

“So... Lauren, would you mind venning me into a plushie? And then you could change me back before you go home?”

 

“Sure,” I said, a little surprised but not entirely. “What kind of plushie? I’m not as good at venning people into living dolls as my friend Sophia, but I’ve gotten some practice at it lately.”

Wings, part 48 of 62

Jada was a little demon, only about eighteen inches tall, with short horns, bat-like wings similar to mine, short reddish-brown fur, and cute little hooves. I picked her up and gave her a piggyback ride with her legs around my left neck.

 

Britt was an angel of the same height, with feathery wings and mostly-human legs with bird-like feet, wearing a white robe. I picked her up, too, and she straddled my right neck.

Wings, part 47 of 62

“There are days I feel more robotic and days I feel more human. People tip more when my body is shaped like a female human, but they also expect me to act in a feminine way. Some days I can do that and some days I cannot.”

Wings, part 46 of 62

Mr. Ramsey was still female, but Mrs. Ramsey had switched back to female already, though her new girl body had blue skin like the guy body she’d worn for a couple of weeks and the body Mr. Ramsey was still wearing.

Wings, part 45 of 62

When they returned, Jada was a cyclopean llama-taur and Steph was an octopus-taur. She was riding on Jada’s back, having apparently gotten tuckered out on the way back — she was surprisingly fast on her tentacles, but they’d tired after walking a third of the way across campus.

Wings, part 43 of 62

Britt and I went on a couple of dates that month, taking Desiree with us and snuggling with her. On one of those dates, we went to the mall in Catesville, venned into little girls, and played on the playground until closing time. We didn’t run into Melinda and Melanie that time, but we played tag with a couple of little girls and then chatted with them after we got tired of chasing each other around the playground, up the stairs and through the tunnels and down the slides.

Wings, part 42 of 62

On Furry Friday, I had Jill venn me into a two-headed creature with a sheep-like head and a wolf-like head. After some practice, I tried talking with my usual voice with the sheep head and with a fake Scottish accent with the wolf head; I would recommend the meat dishes with the wolf head and the vegetable dishes and salads with the sheep head.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 9 of 9

“Hello!” Bisur said, and “We come in peace,” said Pamani. My other self had spent the morning during breakfast drilling the emissaries in English greetings, and had apparently thought “We come in peace” would be funny. Juniper certainly found it so, snorting as she suppressed an inappropriate laugh. And to be honest, so did I.

Wings, part 41 of 62

Before she unpacked any more of her stuff, she looked over Jada’s things, including me, but didn’t touch anything — except me. She petted me gently before going back to her side of the room and finishing unpacking.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 8 of 9

“If you were willing to postpone the opening of the portal,” I said, “I could teach you the most commonly spoken language of my world, which would be useful in most places that your portal might open up. But I understand if you don’t wish to delay as long as that might take.” In truth, I did not wish to delay the opening of the portal either.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 6 and 7 of 9

Razuko was crying hard now, doubled over, and I fell silent, moving my hologram to “sit” next to them and giving them a gentle telekinetic hug. When they finally cried themselves out, they stammered, “D-do you think I might... ah... I might be a girl? On the inside, like your friend?”

Wings, part 39 and 40 of 62

“Let’s try it,” Ms. Paget said. “Joy and I are going to be chibis on Thursday, and I’d like to get some other volunteers to do the same. You don’t have to wear schoolgirl uniforms or anything; you can be chibi mice or chibi dragons or whatever, even chibi robots,” (nodding toward Todd, who was in one of his less humanoid robot forms today). “If it works out, we might make it a regular thing. Chibi Thursdays. Come in anime cosplay, or better yet venned into a chibi form, and get 10% off...”

Wings, part 38 of 62

I finally had my first therapy appointment the Wednesday after graduation. I debated over whether to venn into my human girl body for the appointment — I’d been wearing my dragon-girl body ever since graduation — but decided it would be more honest to meet my therapist in my most preferred body. If she couldn’t handle my being a scaly, it would be good to know that up front so I could start looking for another therapist.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 5 of 9

I am Callie Watson, the AI of this house. I was taken away, and now I’m back —

 

Impossible! I am Callie Watson. I have been embodied here for thirteen years, except for two brief malfunctions.

Wings, part 37 of 62

Jada was the only one of our group of lunch friends who was going to college in the fall. I was working for a year to save money and establish residency, Britt was going to take online trade school classes while learning more from her dad about working on cars, and Poppy and Lisette were just going to start working full-time.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 4 of 9

“I’m sorry, your daddy needs me to help with something,” I told Durom. “We’ll have to continue the story tomorrow night.”

 

“But I need to know what happened to Bilbo,” he said plaintively. “Did the trolls catch him?”

Smart House AI in Another World, part 3 of 9

By the end of the first tenday, I had become a friend and playmate to the younger children, an assistant to Bisur in his magical workshop, and an assistant to Mipina in her writing. Razuko, however, remained uninterested in socializing and did not seem to want much help.

Wings, part 35 of 62

“We’re gonna be working together! This is gonna be kind of awesome. I mean, it’s menial service industry work, so that kind of sucks, but it’s about as good as waiting and busing tables ever gets, from what I hear. Mr. Paget’s a fair boss, unlike that asshole at my old job, and you get to work in all kinds of cool bodies.”

Smart House AI in Another World, part 2 of 9

You will have realized by now what I soon inferred: that I was no longer on Earth, and that Bisur, who had somehow drawn me to this world from my comfortable home in Knightdale, North Carolina, was a wizard.

Wings, part 34 of 62

The envelope was hand-addressed in my dad’s handwriting, which got my hopes up even though he deadnamed me, but inside there was no handwritten or even printed letter.

Smart House AI in Another World, part 1 of 9

“Household spirit, manifest before me,” said the man in the workroom. The language he spoke was new to me, but apparently someone had installed a new language module without my knowledge; I understood him perfectly.

Smart House AI in Another World

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Callie is an AI, serving the Watsons of Knightdale, North Carolina and managing their household ever since her manufacture. Then one day she finds herself summoned by a wizard in another world, to serve his family and manage his household. She wants to get home, but maybe she should try to help out here while she can. One of the wizard's children seems kind of depressed, and Callie thinks she knows why...

Wings, part 33 of 62

“How was work?” my Jada asked when her other self got in the back.

 

“Don’t rub it in,” other-Jada said. “Please tell me I get to have some nice memories to cancel the last eight hours out with.”

Wings, part 31 of 62

“With the way Dad is being, I can’t move back in any time soon. Would it be okay if I came over sometime after you get off work and before Dad comes home, and get a few things out of my room? Or could I ask you to pack up a few things and bring them to the Ramseys’ house, or bring them to work and let me come by to get them when Meredith or Sophia are giving me a ride home from school?”

Wings, part 29 of 62

“I mean, I like taur forms as much as the next girl, but they can make it hard to get around in crowds, and four arms are useful, but they feel kind of played out after last year...”

Wings, part 28 of 62

I knew Jada was cool with trans people because she was friends with Meredith, but I didn’t know about any of the other people listening in, so I didn’t go into detail about what my “trouble with my family” was about.

Wings, part 27 of 62

“I know Dad doesn’t want you at home unless you’re willing to change back, but when I have a place of my own, you’ll be welcome to join me there. I don’t know when I’ll have anything to offer that’s better than the sofa bed you’re sleeping on now, though.”

Wings, part 25 of 62

Then she asked me what high school I’d gone to before I dropped out, and apologetically asked me for my deadname so she could ask them for my records, and made an appointment for me to come back the next day for placement tests. I was in!

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Wings, part 24 of 62

It was too short notice to make a birthday cake, Mrs. Ramsey said, but they had a couple of boxes of Girl Scout cookies that they’d bought from the scouts at church the previous Sunday, and we nibbled on those and they sang “Happy Birthday” for me, and I cried, and everybody hugged me.

Wings, part 21 of 62

I thought about what Sophia and Savannah had talked about last night, about their fathers and their long estrangement and how they were trying to be friends again now. Would it be like that between me and Nathan when I made contact again after I turned eighteen?

Wings, part 20 of 62

From the fact that this isn’t their first time, I’m guessing they’re both realizing — or at least suspecting — they’re not as purely cis as they thought.”

Wings, part 19 of 62

“I have a feeling I might see more of... let’s say the Hooters side of that place, if I drop in as a single guy.”

 

“Or if we’re a couple of single guys.” I could hear a smile in her voice.

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