I’d originally been going to title it “Venn-Splitting for Long-Distance Relationships,” but Sophia had come up with a snappier title, “Splitting for Togetherness.”
But things moved faster than we expected. Midway through my next day’s work shift, Mr. Buckholtz told us, in face-saving terms that didn’t reveal much if anything about what Mx. Paget had said, that he and Mx. Paget had discussed the venned forms policy and were considering some changes, and in the meantime, we didn’t need to change forms as often if it was inconvenient to re-venn between shifts. And the following Monday, he handed out a flyer with a QR code and URL for Mx. Paget’s draft set of venning guidelines and a poll about how we felt about them and what suggestions we had for improving them. The guidelines weren’t just the stuff we’d discussed with Mx. Paget a few days earlier, but included other informal rules that had never been explicitly written down, like not creeping out customers with gross or horrifying forms.
Carmen and I talked on the phone for the first time in a few weeks that weekend, and they invited me to a New Year’s Eve party at the house that they, Serena and Bailey were renting.
“Is it okay if I bring my girlfriends?”
“You’ve still got just the two, right?”
“Well, Jada teases me about Steph being my other girlfriend, but she’s really not. Yeah, just Jada and Britt. I don’t think they have plans for New Year’s Eve last time I talked about it with them.”
“Then yeah, that should be fine. Tell Britt I’m looking forward to meeting her.” (They’d met Jada in her Desiree form a few months earlier when we and Meredith had gone to visit Carmen in Greensboro.)
Meredith told me that Carmen had invited her too, but she and Hunter had other plans for New Year’s Eve.
Jada came home for Christmas right after her last final exam, a couple of days after Genevieve, Terri and I met with Mx. Paget. The next day, Saturday, she and Britt and I went on a casual lunch date, and then filmed the video we’d been talking about making.
We ate at the Fisherman’s Cove in Brocksboro. I told them about Carmen’s invitation to her New Year’s Eve party, and they said it sounded like fun. Neither had any other plans. After lunch, I called Sophia, and she met us at the library. She’d worn a tall, willowy leopard-girl body to work for the last couple of days.
“Okay,” she said, “y’all ready?”
“Yeah,” we both said.
“Let’s make sure we’re on the same page, then.”
“We’re filming the scene where we split bodies,” I said. “And then we’ll go back to the house and film the introductory scene where we talk about why we’re splitting and how it’s affected our relationship.”
“That’s what I thought,” she said.
First, Britt went through the line by herself and put Desiree and Lydia in the Venn machine, commenting on what she was doing as Sophia filmed her. Jada and I sat on a bench while we absorbed those memories of the last few weeks, and as soon as Sophia had some footage of the doors closing on our plushie selves and reopening on empty booths, she came over and filmed us talking a little about absorbing memories from our plushie selves. Those scenes would end up being toward the end of the video when it was edited.
Then Britt sat down while Jada and I got in line and Sophia stood a few feet away, filming us. My anxiety spiked for a moment, but I remembered it was the first take and we probably could do several of these by the time we got to the head of the line. It being Saturday afternoon, there were a lot of people getting ready for a date or other outing as well as Metamorphoses employees starting or ending a shift.
“Hey,” Jada said. “We’re in line at the Venn machine, about to do the first stage in splitting ourselves into organic versions and plushie versions.”
“The first step is to learn how to venn your partner into an animate doll or plushie,” I said. “We’re not going to go into all the details of how to do that. You can watch our friend Sophia’s video series on how to do that.” As Sophia had coached me earlier when we talked about this, I pointed up and a little to the left; she would edit in some overlay text where I was pointing to with a link to her channel.
“We’re going to tweak that basic technique by venning each other into two animate plushie bodies each,” Jada said. “After that, we’ll still each have one mind across two bodies. If you’re doing that for the first time, it can be hard to coordinate your bodies separately. The easiest thing to do is keep them in sync, doing the same thing with each body until it’s time to split them.”
“It’s important for your two plushie bodies to have a visible size and mass difference,” I said. “Because when one of your bodies goes in the Venn machine again, it matters a lot whether you’re putting more or less than fifty percent of your combined mass in the machine. More than fifty percent, your mind splits between the body in the Venn machine and the body outside it.”
“Less than fifty percent, and the smaller body in the Venn machine vanishes.”
“Cut,” Sophia said. “I’ll start filming again when you get to the head of the line.”
I let out a breath. “Did we do okay?”
“I think so. We could do another take if you want.”
“I guess we probably should,” Jada said.
I glanced at the people in line ahead of us. “Let me take some deep breaths, and then we can go again.”
Once we finished our second take, the couple in line behind us asked some questions about what we were doing, and we explained, and we got in a conversation with them about splitting and the video we were making. I’d originally been going to title it “Venn-Splitting for Long-Distance Relationships,” but Sophia had come up with a snappier title, “Splitting for Togetherness.”
When we got to the head of the line, Sophia filmed me and Jada as we inserted a slip of paper and selected a one month duration, and as I went into the left-hand booth and the door closed on me. Then Jada and Sophia both came into the other booth, and Sophia filmed Jada as she brought up my history, selected the dual dragon plushie bodies, and pressed her green button. We waited for my green button to time out, and left the machine, then went to the back of the line. When it was our turn again, Sophia filmed me splitting Jada into her dual triceratops plushie bodies. I made sure to ask it to venn Jada without a skeleton this time, since I wasn’t sure what the plushie skeletons were made of and I didn’t want her to trigger the metal detector at the airport when we traveled next week. I also asked it to make her smaller body smaller than usual, about kitten size — easier to fit into carry-on luggage.
Once we were both venned into multiple bodies, Sophia filmed us talking briefly (each of us speaking with both bodies in unison) about the experience of having two bodies and one mind. Then we got in line again to venn our larger bodies into our everyday bodies, me as a dragon-girl and Jada in her near-human body she wore to class; again, we made two trips so Sophia could film each side of the venn without getting venned along with the person she was filming.
Finally, she filmed us walking toward my car, Desiree looking over my shoulder and Lydia looking over Jada’s.
“That’s a wrap,” she said. “See you back at the house.”
I’d talked to Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey about having Jada and Britt over. We’d decided my bedroom at the Ramseys’ would be a better place to film than Britt or Jada’s homes, since it was more sparsely furnished and it wouldn’t take me as long to clean it up and make it presentable. So we filmed the introduction to the video with me and Jada sitting on my futon, Desiree and Lydia snuggling in our laps.
“Hi, I’m Jada.”
“And I’m Lauren. We’ve been dating for about eight months, since near the end of high school.”
“And for half of that time, we’ve been living in different cities two hundred miles apart. To make our long-distance relationship easier, we decided to have her come to college with me while I stay in our hometown with her.”
“Yeah,” I said, “that sounds impossible, but a little-known use of the Venn machines is that they can split a person into two bodies. Or even two independent selves, each with a copy of the original’s mind.”
“When the venn expires, or when the smaller body goes into a Venn machine again, your smaller body vanishes and your selves merge into the larger body, however far apart they are.”
“You’re probably wondering what kind of bodies we’re splitting into,” I said. “I can’t live in Jada’s dorm room looking like this, and the family I’m renting this room from would want to charge more if Jada were staying with me in a full-size organic body.” I glanced down at Desiree and Lydia, who continued to pretend to be inanimate for few more moments.
“That’s your cue,” Jada said, poking a finger into Lydia’s side. Lydia jumped in response and twisted in midair, landing facing the camera.
“That tickles,” she exaggerated.
Desiree squirmed in my lap and turned to look straighter at the camera. “Hey there! I’m Jada’s other self.”
“And I’m Lauren’s,” Lydia said.
“We learned how to venn each other into animate plushies from our friend Sophia, who’s producing this video,” I said. “From there, it’s a few simple steps to splitting our minds across full-size organic bodies and little plushies that Jada can take to school with her and I can snuggle with at night without my host family charging extra for her room and board.”
“I don’t eat much,” Lydia stage-whispered.
“Now let’s show you how we did it,” Jada said, and Sophia said “Cut.”
“Okay,” she continued, “we’ll insert the film from earlier where you split, and then come back to the next bit, where you talk about how splitting has affected your relationship.”
“Right,” I said, glancing at Jada. “You want to take a break first?”
“Not really,” she said. “But I can tell you do.”
“You know me well,” I said, and I would have kissed her if Sophia hadn’t been right there.
Britt asked, “Do you need a hug?”
“Yeah, that would be nice.” She’d been sitting cross-legged on a throw pillow behind Sophia and to her left; she got up and scooted over onto the futon with us, putting her arms around me just as Jada did the same and Desiree and Lydia snuggled in my lap. I sighed happily and relaxed. In a few moments I could go over my notes what to talk about in the next scene, but for now I just wanted to relax into the hug.
After we let go of each other, I excused myself and went to the restroom. When I finished up and headed back to my room, I met Mrs. Ramsey, who asked, “Is the video filming going well?”
“I think so, yeah.”
“Are your girlfriends going to stay for supper? It’ll be ready in about half an hour.”
“Uh, let me check. We’re gonna film one more scene, but it might be a long one, and we might need more than one take. I guess we could film some more after supper.”
Mrs. Ramsey came with me when I returned to the room, where Sophia, Britt and Jada were watching the earlier scenes play back on Sophia’s camera screen. “Do y’all want to stay for supper?” she asked.
“Sure,” Britt said. “I already told my parents I’d be home a bit later than usual.”
“Yeah,” Jada said, “my grandma knows I was going to eat supper with Lauren and Britt, although we were thinking about going to Arby’s after we’re done filming.”
“No need for that, unless you prefer Arby’s to mine and Bianca’s cooking,” Mrs. Ramsey said with a smile.
“No, ma’am,” Britt said firmly. She hadn’t tasted Mrs. Ramsey’s cooking yet, but she’d heard me talk about it.
“All right. I won’t holler when it’s ready, in case you’re ‘on air’, but how about come check if it’s ready each time you finish a take? Starting about twenty or thirty minutes from now.”
“Okay, will do,” I said. She left us and Sophia said,
“Are y’all ready to start filming again?”
Jada looked at me. “Sure,” I said. We all got back in position, Jada and I right in front of the camera, Lydia and Desiree in our laps, and Britt behind Sophia. I took a deep breath and let it out, and Sophia fiddled with the camera for a moment before giving us a thumbs up.
“All right,” Jada said, “now that you’ve seen how we do it, let’s talk about why. We mentioned earlier that Lydia,” stroking her between the wings and causing her to wiggle happily, “comes to school with me, while Desiree stays with Lauren.” I pet Desiree on cue, and she nuzzled my hand. “You girls want to say something about how it feels for you?”
“Well,” Lydia said, “everything is big. I’ve venned into even smaller bodies, but not often. Jada’s dorm room, even just her half of it, seems bigger when I’m a plushie than my room at home does when I’m normal size.”
Desiree spoke up. “When we’re like this, we’re very snuggly, but we’re basically ace, like our other girlfriend who’s too shy to appear on camera.” Britt gave her a friendly middle finger, making her giggle.
“Yeah,” Lydia said. “We like hugs and pats, but we don’t really have a sex drive in these forms. It’s possible to venn someone into a form that’s semi-animate like this and has a touch-sensitivity that’s almost sexual, but we decided against that. Those forms tend to be good only for short-term use, because they get bored and sleepy when their partner isn’t touching them.”
“We want to be able to focus on other things when Lauren’s at work or Jada’s in class,” Desiree said. “Like watching anime.”
“Or helping Jada’s roommate study,” Lydia said.
“Or hanging out with Lauren’s host family,” Desiree said.
“So things aren’t boring when they’re away,” Lydia said, “but it’s better when they’re home, or when they’re going somewhere they can bring us with them. We can snuggle with them.”
“When you’re a plushie, being snuggled by your person is the best thing ever,” Desiree said. “It’s not the same as sex, it’s not even much like it, but I think it’s just as good.”
“And of course we can snuggle back,” Lydia added, “not just passively be snuggled like if you’re venned into an inanimate plushie. And we can talk. We talk with our girlfriends a lot.”
It was mine and Jada’s turn to speak up.
“We talk with each other on the phone or chat a lot, too,” Jada said, taking my hand to indicate which girlfriend she was talking about.
“Including three-way calls with our other girlfriend,” I added. “If we went a month at a time only talking with each other’s plushie self, I don’t think this relationship would work anywhere near as well.”
“That brings up the venn limits,” Jada said. “We’ve been setting the machine for a month at a time, because Lauren has concerns about our plushie selves diverging too far from our organic selves if we stay split for several months or a year.”
“We basically wanted to merge memories as often as Jada comes home from college,” I said, “or after a month if she’s staying there longer than that.”
“I’ve been visiting my family and friends at home about once a month anyway,” Jada said.
“But we haven’t noticed any big divergence in our personalities, beyond what Lydia and Desiree talked about earlier.”
“What we start out with as soon as we split,” I added.
“So we’re thinking about setting the machine for two or three months next time. We’d still merge memories and re-split whenever I can come home or Lauren can come visit me at school, but we wouldn’t have to be alone for a week or two after our small selves’ venns expire.”
“We’ll keep an eye on our plushie selves and see if their personalities are diverging more when we stay split for longer, but I don’t think it’ll be much worse than usual in just six or eight weeks.”
“Most of the change comes at the very beginning,” Lydia said, “just from having such a different body.”
“But what if you don’t live just a couple of hundred miles apart?” Jada said. “Or you do, but neither of you has a car. Maybe you and your partner are living in different countries and can’t visit very often. You could get a local friend to venn-split you, and then mail your plushie self to your partner, but I imagine the postage would really add up if you were doing that every month or even every three.”
“Though maybe you could venn so your small self is an origami animal?” I suggested. “I’ve heard of people venning into those forms, but haven’t heard of anyone using that kind of form for a split. The postage would be a lot less, anyway, if you fold your origami self flat before mailing her to your partner. I’m not sure if you can make an origami creature able to talk, see, and hear, though. It’s hard enough with a plushie.”
“Maybe we’ll try that next time?” Jada said. “Anyway, if anyone winds up splitting for a lot longer than we have to save on postage or travel costs, let us know how that’s affected you. Has your little self diverged more and more over time?”
We took a short break then, and went over our script for the next part before filming again.
“I think what we’ve gotten out of this,” I said, “is not just being closer than we would if we only saw each other once a month or less, but a feeling of mutual dependency.”
Lydia went on, “When we’re small like this, even though we don’t need to eat and we’re stronger than you’d think from our size, we need our big girlfriend’s help with the heavy lifting.”
“If we want to get a heavy book off a shelf, for instance,” Desiree said.
“Or if we want to go very far,” Lydia added. “Or open a door.”
“When we’re our big selves,” Jada said, “we experience what it’s like to have someone dependent on you.”
“And after we merge, we remember the last month from both perspectives,” I concluded. “We know how much we need each other. I wonder if that effect might be stronger if our little selves were just our big selves shrunk down to a few inches tall, and we needed our big selves for food and things like that, too.”
“That’d be a lot harder to deal with, though. Not only making sure they have food and, I dunno, probably a tiny toilet or litterbox or something? It would be harder to smuggle our little selves places without someone realizing they’re a venned person and charging us extra for a movie.”
“Or a plane ticket,” I added. “We have shrunk down to tiny size like that before, but it was mutual, so we and some other friends could all fit in Jada’s dorm room bed for a sleepover, and we had another friend to take care of things we couldn’t do and carry us to and from the Venn machine. We’ve never stayed that small for very long when we had organic bodies, and I don’t think I’d want to; it feels a lot more vulnerable.”
Jada finished up, “So if you try that out, splitting into big and small organic selves for a while, let us know what it’s like.”
We took another short break before filming some concluding remarks, basically summarizing the most important points and asking people to like and share the video if they enjoyed it. About then, it was time for supper.
I’ve kind of cheated here and given you something like a transcript of the final edit. There was a lot more hesitation and repetition, especially on my part and especially near the beginning. We did a couple more takes of those scenes after supper, and Sophia edited together the best bits of each take to make something surprisingly smooth; she also filmed some close-up footage of Lydia and Desiree doing cute things, and each of us snuggling with our plushie girlfriend in different places around the house, and intercut bits of that where the cuts between bits of one take and another weren’t as smooth as she liked. I say “Sophia,” but Bianca did a lot of the work too.
Sophia’s condition for helping out with the filming and video editing was that I sit with her or Bianca while they were working on it and learn how, so I could do the editing on any future videos Jada and I did. I learned a lot, though it would be a good while before I was as good as Sophia, and by the end I was doing some of the work with her supervision and even with her just checking my results afterward. It took until well into February, with us only working on it when both of us were available, but we had a good cut we could send to Jada and Lydia before Valentine’s Day. We uploaded it after they gave their approval, and it got what Sophia said were pretty decent numbers of viewers for a first video from unknown creators. It got a boost when Sophia mentioned us in her next video, which led to one of her prominent subscribers mentioning our video on their social media, which led to another boost.
My new short fiction collection, Gender Panic and Other Stories, contains 253,948 words of transgender fiction: seven short stories, seven novelettes, one novella, and two short novels. Six of the stories (including both novels), 163,318 words, have never appeared online before. It can be found at:
- Smashwords (epub)
- itch.io (epub, pdf, and mobi)
- Amazon (Kindle)
You can find my other ebook novels and short fiction collections here:
