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Knowing Yourself - Chap-32

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Knowing Yourself:
Epilogue

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

“As we continue down this hallway we find the four cases containing Mother's and Father’s awards in both cinematography and in Eventing.”

Knowing Yourself - Chap-31

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Thirty One

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

I was sitting here waiting for our next client to arrive on the first Saturday I’ve had available in nearly a month while I looked at the few pages of my diary which Tan recently filled in. I need to find a better place to hide and secure it. I don’t mind him writing in it but sometimes I put stuff in it that I would rather keep secret for a while.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-30

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Thirty

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Adversity, Love, Friends and Family define us.

When we finally returned home from our journeys, Tan seemed strangely preoccupied. Oh, we still slept together and we still... well, you probably know anyway, but he just isn’t himself. After a couple of days of my prodding and poking trying to learn what’s wrong without much success, he finally announced shortly after we were dressed to go in to the studio one morning, that we are going to see his sister... again.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-29

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Twenty Nine

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

The Far Side of the Hill

After a week or so I discover it actually isn’t so bad to have Momma in charge. Once we learned her schedule things went pretty smoothly. It could have been worse, she could have taken over the studios too.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-28

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Twenty Eight

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

I wake up in the morning to find everything has changed.

When Tan and I arrived home from the farm it was late on Friday night. Mom and Sis apparently had just gone to bed when we showed up. They hit their panic buttons before they knew who we were so we all had to explain everything when the security company responded in force. Other than that their six weeks were relatively uneventful.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-27

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Twenty Seven

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

To question such good fortune, who am I?

Mom and Sis are settling into the house less than five hours later having gotten out of their house before Dad and my brother returned. Now some of my old phobias are beginning to threaten me. It’s a little difficult to remember they haven’t a clue, at least I don’t believe so.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-26

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Twenty Six

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Home is where the heart is...

The next couple of days go well. We’ve been pretty busy once again and I’ve had several photo sessions of my own as well as more language lessons. I’ve made arrangements with Tanner to invest nearly half of what I earn after taxes to begin to save toward my operations. For some reason, the idea of becoming fully myself... I mean, fully female is really beginning to take hold. Isn’t that funny? I’ve spent years trying to be male and now in just a couple of months I’ve embraced being a female and can’t wait to be more complete. Maybe Dad was right and there is something wrong with me... I mean other than being a woman who has been trying to be a boy.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-25

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Twenty Five

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Fairy Tales can come True, It Could Happen to You

Tanner and I are up early. The cryptic message from his sister telling us to appear at her working office today about a quarter hour before our scheduled 8:00 meeting, has caused us each some trepidation as we both wonder what she has on her mind. She apparently didn’t enlighten Tanner either. I’m essentially emancipated since dear old Dad signed the papers allowing me to find my own way in life. I think he was hoping I would starve to death. Probably the last thing he expected was that I would need him to sign some more papers.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-24

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Twenty Four

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Out of the Fire, but into the Double Boiler

We spent nearly five hours in Tony’s office going over possible scenarios and what if’ing about whomever could have done this if not Tanner. The questions remained, why target Tanner and eventually they came to include me as one of the potential targets.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-23

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Twenty Three

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

I’m a princess and I demand that glass slipper.

Finally! I’ve made a decision. Perhaps that was the problem all along, I couldn’t decide while at lower elevations and simply needed to be at thirty thousand feet in order to do it. I’m going to go for it and become a woman. I may never really be complete but at least I’ll be able to live with and accept my body as a female. Then too, I’ll eventually be married to Tan and go into training to become a spy. At least I think I’ll be a spy.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-22

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Twenty Two

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

How I wonder What You Are

I spent at least an hour laying there in bed thinking about all this before Pam returned finding my eyes closed as I contemplated my fate. Some of the lights were on so she began preparing for bed and finally shut off the lights going to her own bed. I guess she thought I was asleep as she didn’t say anything and had only whispered my name a couple of times when she first came in.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-21

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Twenty One

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

The six Italian models remain behind as we packed up and moved on to Madrid. Here everything is location shooting causing us to range far afield sometimes traveling for several hours to go spend an hour or two shooting a half dozen outfits apiece. Here we have picked up two Spanish models so there are four of us. Unfortunately we don’t speak Spanish and they don’t speak English so Tanner and Kaitlyn do all the talking during the sessions.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-20

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Twenty

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Everybody needs Somebody, Sometime

Tanner and I spent the rest of the day relaxing. He gave everyone today off with tomorrow as our finishing day and we made a point of letting some of the girls see us go into his room together... and locking the door.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-19

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Nineteen

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

All the world’s a stage

I called down to the front desk after trying Tanner’s room where I received no answer. They tell me he has not left the hotel to their knowledge so I ask them to leave a message light on his phone then when he checks with them please have him call me. They agreed and I went back to playing with my photos, trying to see exactly how much detail can be found in them.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-18

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Eighteen

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

All the people that I meet don’t wear a frown

The trip to Paris was almost as much a non-event as the flight across the Atlantic. I was a bit more prepared for the sounds of a landing this time and hoped I looked very much more the seasoned traveler.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-17

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Seventeen

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

One where they know they would like to be

Tan goes through the selections figuring he may as well have supper since we are both here and it’s available. I con him into bringing back a little more of the cottage cheese with a peach half and another of the meat patties for me. A fiancee can be a good thing at times.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-16

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Sixteen

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Most people long for another island

We entered the first class lounge where we relaxed for a while before boarding the plane for our short trip.

Soon we were up and it seemed like a very short time before we were down again. Actually only about two hours, one of which we lost to a time change. We collected our things and were out looking for our ride long before midnight.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-15

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Fifteen

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Lost in the middle of a foggy sea

Hanging the last of the clothing on the rack, I return to see what assistance I may to Tanner and Irina who have been disassembling everything and gradually moving it over to the RV. Going over, I begin to place some of the lighter items into their places on the shelves, plugging them into the power strips as I go.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-14

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Fourteen

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

‘Most people live on a lonely Island’

Once again I’ve had my nightmares although this time was considerably different. The bullies came to pound me and I pulled out the same little pistol I had used when we practiced. I fired one or two hundred shots hitting absolutely nothing but it frightened them all away. I’ve seen too many movies where the good guys never need to reload. Their guns never run out of bullets. Then Dad came to tell me that using a gun was a crutch and he’d teach me how to do it right.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-13

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Thirteen

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Once Upon a Time

I’ve been in my room studying and Tanner has been in his office away from the office, I’m beginning to think he has a ‘red phone’ hidden in there somewhere. After about an hour he comes knocking at my open door and invites himself in when he sees I’m studying my Dutch.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-10

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Ten

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

The show must go on

Tanner and I make our way around the floor and he does manage to snap some pics here and there before we return to Ellen’s booth where we take a few more shots using the equipment so the strobes light up the area which hopefully attract even more attention. When the number of people has increased a bit I go in and change back to my own clothing then we leave to find Irina and go to lunch.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-09

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter 09

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Long ago, and oh so far away

A few moments later, Ellen has come over and She and Irina begin speaking. She has a plan... Of course she has a plan. I seriously doubt she intends to pay me money to just sit here. She has some clothing items tucked away and a small (make that very small) changing area for me where I may put on the outfit she has for me to model.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-08

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Eight

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

I walk alone and wonder “who am I?”

The Rosetta Stone program finally arrived, so now on top of everything else I’m going to spend my evenings learning Dutch. Thanks, Tanner. I was hoping he had been joking when he said he sent for the program.

We spent the early afternoon getting my driver’s license changed while Irina was ‘minding the store’ then we went around in circles trying to change my birth certificate.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-07

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Seven

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

Into the Valley of Death, or... ‘What do you mean... Audience?’

We are in the RV and on our way by 7:30 and Tanner figures we will just make our arrival time to begin to set up. I’m not exactly dressed to help with that and remind him. He again takes this moment to assuage me and to give me a bit of a heads-up as to what’s coming down.

Knowing Yourself - Chap-06

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Knowing Yourself:
Chapter Six

by
Lilith Langtree
T. D. Aldoennetti

The round peg really doesn’t belong in the square hole —
even if it fits.

Tanner finally reaches the location of the next doctor and I just go along for the ride. Obviously Tanner and this guy have some old history because Tanner is grimacing and his unease is spilling over onto me. We have gone from supportive and happy to angry and cynical.

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