I was extremely nervous going to my next appointment with Dr. Shipley. The last few times Lizzie and I had got together I had been unable to get an erection, however Lizzie was more than satisfied with girl-on-girl activity. I was worried that I was getting to the point of having to make a major decision.

After examining me and looking at the results of yet another scan, I was sat facing the doctor looking at the neutral expression on her face.

“Jane, as you have told me, you are now effectively impotent, your penis is flacid and totally unresponsive. The scan shows me that you have developed virtually normal female internal organs and your ovaries seem to have started producing ova. If your body reacts like a female’s that means that you will be discharging the ova into your uterus and will therefore be experiencing periods like any other woman. It has come to the time for a firm decision, you are at a crossroads in your life. We can either stop all this, give you a hysterectomy and put you on strong doses of testosterone to reinstate you as a male, or operate on you to create an opening to your vagina, which will allow the blood and detritus from your period to discharge as would be normal. The whole operation should be a lot simpler than normal MTF re-assignment surgery, and would involve the removal of your penis and testicles, the re-use of the remaining skin to create the labia and the tidying up of the connection to the uterus, to all intents you will be a fully-functioning female. I suggest that you need to make a decision quickly or there could be difficulties with a risk of infection from the period discharge.”

“Wow, I thought that you might eventually come out with something like that, but not so quickly. I have thought about it at length, discussed the possibility with my family and with my girlfriend, and have decided that there is really no choice. For some reason my body has decided to readjust itself, and even if I decided to have the hysterectomy, even with hormone treatment, it will probably continue to make subtle changes to me to try to feminise me. Please make arrangements for the operation, and the sooner the better, I would rather not have too long to lie awake at night reconsidering my decision.”

“I will talk to the surgeon who will carry out the operation, agree a schedule, and come back to you as soon as I can. There is something else I want to discuss with you before you go. Your condition, although not unique, is extremely rare. I would like to write a medical paper on what has happened to you, chronicling the rate and extent of your changes, including copies of the scans that have been taken and the results of the various tests I have carried out, it would all be totally anonymous, you will not be identified. It could prove useful if ever someone else is in the same situation as you, do I have your permission?”

“Dr. Shipley, I am reporter, I make my living disseminating information so that there is a wide understanding of what is happening in the world, I totally understand the importance of putting the story out there to your peers and colleagues. Go ahead, do what you have to do, and if you want any information from me on how the changes have affected me and changed my personality, don’t hesitate to ask.”

In a way I was now resigned, even happily resigned, to a future life fully as a woman, I would be able to continue my burgeoning careers as a reporter, author, and TV presenter, without any possibility being exposed as a fraud. I did not see myself as a transexual or even as transgendered, I was just me, soon to be as much and as full and natural a woman as any other.

I was surprised to get a call the next day from Dr. Shipley. “Jane, I’ve discussed your case with Mr. Cunningham, the surgeon who will be operating on you. As the case is so unusual he is enthusiastic to get this done as soon as possible. Normally there would be a long waiting list for SRS, but he is intrigued to actually work on you, his words not mine. He has had a cancellation and I think he is looking forward to getting a mention in the paper I am preparing for publication in The Medical Journal, so he has put you up his list to fit you in next Tuesday.”

“I know that I said wanted to have it over and done with quickly, but I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon.”

“He would like to have a pre-op examination and discussion with you this Friday at 10:00, can you make it?”

“Both dates will not be a problem, send me the details and I’ll take it as it comes.”

Mum and Jenny, whilst regretting the loss of Jack, their son and brother, were happy to be welcoming me to the family as Jane, their daughter and sister. Lizzie was actually glad that I was changing completely, although her sexual interests were with either male of female and she had enjoyed her times with Jack, she was eagerly looking forward to being with a complete Jane. The other people who knew about me, Jenny’s friends, Mike, Caroline, James and Darren Cartwright were all taken a bit aback at how quickly it had all developed, but were pleased that at last I knew and accepted what my future would be.

When I rang The Post to tell Mike what was happening to me, he informed me that the courts had set a date for the corruption trial to commence, in just over a month’s time. Rather than using the reporter that normally covered the court cases for him he wanted me to get involved again, I had broken the story, knew more about it than anyone else, and he felt that I could give a much more insightful spin on the story. I agreed, subject to no problems with my medical issues and dates.

After clearing the air with family and friends, although I had decided to go ahead with the operation, I wanted to hide myself away to totally clear my head and come to terms with what what happening to me and arranged with Charles to temporarily move into Bolton Manor to get on with my novel based on the life of Henry Bolton the First Baron.

As this was to be a total fictional account based on his life, but romanticised and glorified in the manner of the Horatio Hornblower novels by CS Forester, the character’s name was amended to Aidan Armitage to differentiate it from the factual realities of Henry’s life. I had planned it out to follow his early life, his career as a young midshipman in the Battles against the French fleets in the Antilles about the time of the American Revolutionary wars, rising through the ranks at the Battles of the Nile and Copenhagen under the command of Horatio Nelson, to captaining his own ship at Trafalgar in 1805 which led to the grant of the Barony. The military events were to be woven around his adventures in the exotic locations of the Caribbean, the Baltic and the Mediterranean, the romantic liaisons that a handsome young naval officer would enjoy, and tales of derring-do and his personal involvement in the skirmishing and hand-to-hand fighting during the major battles.

I started to put the flesh on the bones of ‘Midshipman Armitage’ during the rest of the week at the Manor where I was undisturbed as Charles was away in London for a few days meeting up with William and Lizzie to try to resolve their family conflicts, and had the first chapters completed before Charles returned.

At dinner Charles was very quiet and withdrawn, not his usual ebullient self and afterwards in the orangery, over a glass of whiskey I tried to open him up.

“Charles, you are not your usual genial self, is something wrong.”

“As you know, I went down to London to meet with Lizzie and William to determine whether we could all get on together in some fashion again, but things did not work out as I had hoped.”

“I thought that would be what is troubling you, you must be so disappointed.”

“We had arranged to meet at Claridge’s for afternoon tea but William didn’t turn up even though we waited over an hour for him. Lizzie phoned some of his friends and we were told that he was in the Royal Brompton hospital in Kensington, but they were very guarded about telling us why he was in there.”

“Is he all right, what is wrong with him?”

“All in good time Jane, let me tell you at my own pace, please. When we eventually found which ward he was in and made our way there, we were surprised to see that he was in a private room and that there was a young woman police officer sitting guard outside the door. We were given permission to go in to see him and were shocked to see that he was unconscious and hooked up to all sorts of monitors, he had both legs and one of his arms in plaster, bandages around his head, and what skin we could see was covered in cuts and bruises.We asked the nurse looking at his charts what had happened to him and she just shrugged her shoulders and told us to go and ask the police officer, she couldn’t discuss it with us.”

The police officer was equally reticent but she did tell us that William had been the victim of a violent assault, and that full details would be provided to us when he regained consciousness and her senior officer arrived to question him about it, until then she was on guard duty in case of any further attacks. The nurse told us that William would be unlikely to regain consciousness soon and that we should leave him to rest and return the following day. We went back to Lizzie’s flat where she phoned around to people she knew to see if she could find more information, while I arranged a booking for an overnight stay at my club.”

We were told that he was at a party in Chelsea, high on alcohol and drugs, and that he physically assaulted and raped one of the young women there. Her boyfriend and her brother dragged him off her and threw him out of the house. A bit later he was found nearby in a pool of blood by a passerby who called the police and an ambulance, and that’s all we could find out.”

“It looks like the girl’s boyfriend and brother carried out their own justice.”

“That’s the obvious conclusion but they are adamant that all they did was throw him out, and their story was backed up by the others at the party. The police took statements but all the other guests told the same story that the two of them were only out from the party for for a few seconds while they evicted him and there was no sign of any blood or signs of a fight on either of them when they returned.”

“Unfortunately rough justice is often dished out by victim’s families or friends and the police find it hard to break the story, sometimes not even trying particularly hard as they have a lot of sympathy with the victim.” I tried to sympathise with Charles but found it difficult after what William had tried to do to Jenny.

“The following day William had recovered enough for the police to interview him, but said that he was unable to remember anything about the party after he arrived and could tell them nothing. The police are continuing to talk to him and to the people at the party but up until now there has been no breakthrough. When the police had left we went in to talk to him to see if he would be more open with us.”

“ Was he?”

“Far from it, with the police he had been quiet and polite, but with us he was quite belligerent, blaming me and Lizzie for driving him into depression which led to the drug and alcohol abuse. He told us that as we had previously made it obvious that we wanted nothing more to do with him, that he would have to sort it out himself and get his revenge on the people that had attacked him, although he would not give us any names. He screamed at us to leave and not come back, and that’s where we are all at for the moment. Lizzie is asking around to see if she can find out anything more, but it is obvious that William has really annoyed and upset a lot of people recently, nobody seems to want to help the police find out who assaulted him.”

“ You must be so frustrated, after your telephone call last week you were quite convinced that he was full of remorse and trying to change his ways.”

“I now believe that he’ll never change, he was spoilt by his mother and me when he was a child and has grown up convinced that the world owes him a living, he is arrogant and self-indulgent and doesn’t care about or have respect for anyone else.”

“Bite my nose off and tell me to keep out of it as it is none of my business if that’s what you want to do, but I suggest that you sleep on it for a few days before doing anything rash.”

“ You’re right Jane. let’s drop it and talk about something else.”

“Dates have been set for the corruption trial and I have been asked to cover it for both The Post and TV North. I understand that initially it will only be Hargreaves and Ridgeley on trial, the Crown Prosecutors felt that if all the subsidiary cases were dealt with together that it would muddy the waters and confuse a jury. I have been told that it is highly unlikely that I will be asked to give evidence, as everything I know is on record or I only know second-hand, so I should be able to cover the trial.”

“It will be interesting to see how it turns out, some of those defence barristers are too clever by half and are brilliant at putting up smokescreens and causing doubt and confusion in the minds of jurors, I just hope that those two get their just rewards.”

“In case you have forgotten, bearing in mind all the other issues troubling you at the moment, I have my pre-op meeting with Mr Cunningham tomorrow to finalise things before the operation next Tuesday.”

“Are you still convinced that it is the best way forward for you, I am fairly innocent in these matters, but it is obvious that there will be no way back?”

“When I started all this, investigating the problem at Cartwright’s, I didn’t even dream that things would go this far, but one thing has led to another and I am certain that it is what I need to do and want to do.”

“Good to hear that you are so positive about it, I find it hard to imagine that you were ever just an ordinary young man, I’ve only ever known you as Jane, an intelligent bubbly and attractive young woman.”

“Thank you so much for that Charles, you have been really kind and understanding, you could have made it so much more difficult for me.”

“There’s something else we need to talk about. With you mentioning Cunningham’s, it reminds me that they have had various meetings with the architects, engineers and designers and have now got some proposals together for The Bolton Centre that they want to present to me, I would like you to be in on that with me. I would also like you to be my representative at the majority of the design and construction team meetings when the project starts so that my interests can be put forward and protected. How do you feel about that?”

“It’s totally outside my experience and I will have no understanding of the technicalities or procedures involved, but I am a quick learner, I look forward to it. My operation is next Tuesday, and I will probably need to rest and take it easy for a while. I suggest that you put them off for a few weeks and that until they start on site and get organised any meetings are held here. I assume that there’s somewhere that can be used as a meeting room either in the Manor or one of the outbuildings, that will make it a lot easier for me in the early days. Let me talk to Mr. Cunningham tomorrow and get his advice as to when I will be fit enough to get involved before agreeing a meeting date with them.”

Lizzie was up at the Manor for the weekend, but had not made any progress, it was felt by everyone she talked to that William had got what he deserved. He refused to see her again, calling her a thieving dyke bitch who had stolen everything from him, and promising to get even with her someday. Whilst trying not to be too uncivil to Charles, Lizzie and I spent a lot of time together to make the most of my last weekend in the halfway house between male and female.

I arrived at the hospital on Monday evening as they needed to prepare me for the operation, dose me up with all sorts of anti-infection drugs, and ensure the correct diet for me. I had a restless night, dreaming about what could possibly go wrong and worrying about how long it would take me to recover. At 9:00 the next morning, a smiling anaesthetist came in and gave me an injection, that was the last thing I remembered before things went blank.

When I woke up again, Mum, Jenny and Lizzie were all sitting in the room which was decked out with vases of pink roses. Mum was the first to come over, helped me to sit up in bed and give me a big hug, followed by Lizzie, who smiled and whispered “Welcome back to the world of the living my girlfriend we are going to have some wonderful times together.”as she gave me a big hug and kiss. When Lizzie finally let loose of me and Jenny got the chance to come over she handed me a big box.

“Do you remember when you were out for the first time with me and the girls in the Italian restaurant and we said it was the official birthday for girl Jane, well that was a year ago yesterday, so Happy Birthday from all the girls Jane. Underneath the cake you will also find a set of sexy lingerie and a silk nightdress, so much better than that awful smock they have you dressed in.” They sat and chatted for the rest of the evening until I was too tired and starting to drop off.

The following afternoon I was examined by Mr. Cunningham and Dr. Shipley and advised that I would be discharged the next day. They warned me that I needed to stay in bed, take it easy and rest as much as possible, but that next week, if the soreness had died down, I could walk about and carry out light duties.

“The operation went well Jane, it was so much less complicated than SRS operations I have carried out in the past, but then your body had already done most of the work for me. Dr. Shipley will continue to regularly monitor your recovery, particularly your hormone levels but at this stage your body seem to be coping by itself without need for supplementation. I wish you well and leave you in the capable hands of Dr. Shipley.“ he smiled and left us to prepare for his next patient.

When I was discharged the next afternoon, Mum collected me and to my surprise drove me to the Manor rather than to home.

“I called Charles while you were in hospital and he agreed that it may be best to recuperate here. Mrs. H knows enough to look after any medical needs you may have, changing dressings, checking the catheter etc., and I will also be staying here to help her out and keep you company, You are lucky to have such understanding and helpful friends.”

“What about Lizzie is she still around?”

“She had to go back to London to try and sort something out with William. Apparently while he is in hospital, his flat, well actually Charles’ flat that he lets William use, was broken into, graffiti painted on the walls ‘Get out of town rapist and don’t come back.’ and things like that. William refused to see her at first, but she has now convinced him to at least talk to her to try to find somewhere for him to stay. Anyway, lets get you into the house and into your bed, the doctors said that you need to rest.”

For the rest of the week, I did very little but eat sleep and read, but by the weekend I was determined to be out of bed and mobile for when Lizzie came back. Mum and Mrs.H still wouldn’t let me lift a finger to help them and insisted that I was still not fully recovered and should not overexert myself, but were glad to have me up and about chatting to them.

When Lizzie arrived on Friday night she was deep in thought and after warmly greeting me she went off to see Charles in his study, where they shut themselves away for an hour or so until Marshall called us all in for dinner. Both Lizzie and Charles seemed to have something on their minds and were quite quiet and withdrawn until we had finished our meal.

“We have something we need to discuss with you Nell and Jane, let’s retire to the orangery, Marshall and Mrs.H can tidy up in here while we have a talk.”

After sorting out drinks for us, Charles continued his conversation.

“Lizzie has been around to the flat again and it needs a bit of work to clean it all up before it will be fit for William to return and so she has been trying to arrange with his friends to put him up temporarily while he recuperates. Unfortunately they are now all former friends, everyone has had enough of him, nobody is interested. He could go into a hotel when he is discharged from the hospital, but he will need some assistance, although his wounds are recovering he is not fit to look after himself. Lizzie has suggested that I let him return home, at least until he has recovered, as Mrs.H could help to nurse him back to health. However I am unwilling to do that unless it is unacceptable to both of you, and I would understand if it would be too uncomfortable for you.”

Mum looked at me to answer first. “As I said the other day, when it comes down to it, he is still your son, and despite everything he has done, you cannot just cast him aside. You are kindly letting me stay here to recover from my operation, and I am not family. I can hardly tell you not to bring him home.”

“That goes for me too Charles, do whatever you think is best.” Mum added.

“It will be made very clear to him that if he says or does anything offensive, particularly to you Jane, that he will be shown the door, regardless of what physical state he is in. If I have to choose between the pair of you and him, unfortunately he is the past and you two are the future of this family.”

With that cleared he rose and went off to his study asking Mum to join him, leaving Lizzie and I to talk about all the things that we had been up to during the week.

“Lizzie, I hope that I am not the cause of a split in your family, although it will be awkward for me, I am quite happy for Mum and I to go back home until the situation with William is sorted out.”

“Don’t be silly Jane, as Daddy said you are part of the future of this family. I told him that we intend to get married, and that I will come back home from London to help him run the house and estate, with you by my side.”

“If that is a proposal, I’ll be delighted to accept. It’s all a bit unusual but I am sure we can sort something out.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me if when Daddy and your Mum come back in that he has had a similar conversation with her. It will be a complicated family tree, your Stepfather will also be your Father-in-law, my Stepmother will be my Mother-in-law, we will be Step-sisters as well as Wife and Wife. It should give other people a lot to talk about.”

“I don’t care about anyone else as long as we are all happy with the arrangements, come here and give me a big hug but don’t squeeze too tightly. I am still a bit sore.”

Mum and Charles soon returned, holding hands and grinning at each other like a couple of teenagers.

“I told you Jane that I would probably wait until the celebration dinner when the earldom is restored before asking your mother to marry me, but I heard today that the official letters patent are on their way by courier so I have jumped the gun. Nell, your Mum, has kindly agreed to accept my proposal and become my wife and the Countess of Edenbury, and I think this calls for a celebration. I have asked Marshall to bring up a couple of bottles of the vintage Dom Perignon and six glasses, I think on this occasion that he and Mrs.H should join in the celebration, although it will break many of Marshall’s protocol barriers.”

“Mrs. Hutchinson, I know that it is short notice but would it be asking too much for you to arrange a celebration banquet for tomorrow evening. Of course you and Mr. Marshall must join us too, I will leave you to arrange the menu with my future wife, you both know a lot more than I do what will be appropriate. Jenny must join us too, and her young man of course if she wants to bring him, please arrange that Jane. I would rather celebrate before William comes back home in case he ruins things, we can do something with him later if appropriate.”

It had been a bit of a whirlwind day and I was glad to get back to my bed where I went off to sleep the minute my head hit the pillow. When I woke I found Lizzie spooned in behind me still asleep with her arm gently laid around my waist. I got up as quietly as possible so as not to disturb her, got myself ready and went down to the kitchen for breakfast where Mrs. H was working away busily.

“Good morning Miss Jane, I’m sorry but I haven’t got breakfast prepared yet, I’ve been so busy organising things for the meal this evening.”

“Don’t worry Mrs.H, you get on with what you are doing, I’ll look after myself then I’ll give you a hand if it is any use.”

I made myself a fruit salad, topped it with yoghurt, added a a few slices of toast and butter, a plate of ham and cheese, and brewed a pot of fresh coffee.

“Mrs.H, you deserve a break, come and sit down and have a coffee and some toast.”

“Thank you so much my dear, my apologies Miss Jane, I really appreciate it, it is the first time for ages that I have had someone prepare breakfast for me. Miss Elizabeth sometimes did it when she was younger, but Marshall told her to stop as it wasn’t befitting her role in the house.”

“ It’s my pleasure Mrs.H, and when we are alone please just call me Jane. I don’t think I have ever been told you name, what is it?”

“ It’s Louise, M..Jane, but nobody has called me that since I have worked here, except Marshall once called me Louise, when he was a bit merry one New Year.”

We sat and chatted for a while until we were disturbed by Mum coming to join us.

“Good morning Jane, and you too Louise, I just heard your name when you and Jane were talking and please call me Nell when we are working together in here, let’s get breakfast over and then we can get dinner sorted out.”

I left them to organise things and went to call Jenny to update her on all the previous evening’s happenings. After she had calmed down she said that of course she would come, along with Graham, and she asked how they should be dressed.

“You looked lovely in that azure sheath-dress that Lizzie loaned you for the last formal meal we had here that she let you keep, that will be perfect, unless you have something better hidden away in your wardrobe. I assume Graham has a dinner jacket, tell him to dress it up a bit with a cummerbund, bow-tie and pocket handkerchief to match the colour of your dress, you will make a lovely couple.

When Jenny and Graham arrived they both looked absolutely stunning, Jennie had been for a makeover session with Susie and she looked amazing in the blue dress and Graham really scrubbed up well and looked so dashing in his white dinner jacket with the accessories to match Jennie’s dress. I took Graham through to introduce him to Charles and despite their totally different upbringings and lifestyles, there was an instant rapport between them, to be honest I think Charles was glad of male company after being continually surrounded by women.

With Mum’s input, Mrs.H had come up with a menu that allowed her and Marshall to sit and enjoy the meal with the rest of us without having to spend too much time running back and forth to the kitchen. The homemade farmhouse pâté in filo cups were a light starter leaving plenty of room for the haunch of venison from the estate carved at the table, with seasonal vegetables and duchess potatoes, followed by individual bowls of Cranachan, and a cheeseboard with biscuits. Marshall excelled himself with some superb wines from the cellar which loosened everyone up quite a lot. Surprisingly considering the eclectic mix of all our backgrounds it all went off excellently, Graham did not seem as overawed as the rest of us had been on our first visits and just took everything in his stride, Mrs.H was dressed up in her best frock and for a change wore full makeup and really came out of her shell, and even Marshall loosened up and dropped most of his normal deferential formal manner.

Marshall and Mrs.H, joined us for an after-dinner liqueur before leaving to clear everything up. Mum, Jenny, Lizzie, and I were catching up on all our relationship developments, leaving Graham and Charles in deep discussion.

“Jane, can you join us for a moment please if I can drag you away from the other ladies?” Charles called me over. “Graham has been telling me that he was surprised at the grandeur of the Manor, and that he didn’t realise that it was such an architectural gem. He has asked if he can do a feature on the Manor for Spotlight. I have agreed on the condition that you will present it. How does that sound?”

“If you are happy to have your family home exposed to public gaze, I would be delighted, it’s a shame that somewhere as lovely as Bolton Manor is not more widely appreciated. Obviously I will be tied up with the court case for a few weeks, but after that would be wonderful.”

“The other thing Jane,” interrupted Graham, “is that Charles has told me about several other properties in the area that are equally as grand. If we can get permissions from the owners, I am proposing that this is not a one-off, but the first in a series. Along with the other shows you are doing for us, and the coverage of the court case, this could really give your career with us a real lift-off.”

I was getting really tired and having made my apologies I went to my room, leaving the others to continue their celebrations, and for a change all my dreams that night were not about my gender issues, which were now resolved, but were about a career going from the local station on to National TV roles.

To be continued.