Good news, bad news: The good news is that I have blossomed a little like a girl. It will make being part of the wedding more fun for me as Lela.

The bad news is Lee will be waiting for a while before I go to the beach wearing my regular swimsuit. My breasts have gotten a little fatty and my nipples have begun to bud. With that came a growing sensitivity.

It was Monday morning, I called Jane. I could almost feel her smile on my phone connection. Jane said, “Dress as Lela have a good breakfast and I’ll pick you up at 10:00. And do not, I said, do not glue on your breast forms. Stop taking any prescriptions and eating things like tofu with hormones. Your mother should know, but then again, Aubrey needs you as a bridesmaid.”

My mother was surprised when Jane showed up, and even more surprised that I’d be going to Victoria’s one more time. Serena Veach met us with a mischievous knowing. “Has our little nymph come for the last taste of lace and satin?”

I asked, “How did you know?” I looked to Jane with suspicion. Jane shook her head as to indicate she hadn’t said anything.

Serena spoke, “The last time I saw Lela with just a camisole; I knew your breasts had begun to blossom… It was obvious that your titillating feelings were distracting you. You needed a bra on to stop material from rubbing over them.” Serena grinned, “You did come to get a new bra didn’t you?”

Once we selected several bras, she took me into a fitting room alone, to try them on. Once my blouse and bra were off we took measurements as she previously had. She handed me the B cup push-up bra. I was no longer naive in needing instruction. I was however surprised and happy about how I looked. I knew the expected cost of the bra and had put into my purse more than sufficient funds.

I turn to Jane, “This is insane, I’ve less than a week of being Lela left.”

Jane giggles, “You are doing this to assure yourself that you’ll remember the feelings of being a girl. I don’t think Lela will ever really go away.”

Jane confessed, “I wasn’t sure what was going to happen the first time we came here.” Jane bit at a knuckle, as she spoke to Serena, “His Mom once told me that he once wished he could be one of the girlfriends when we did something special. So when Aubrey lost her bridesmaid; I asked Mrs. Scott about him being a bridesmaid. I think it is turning out better than anyone could have hoped for.”

Serena said, “That’s it! Lela, you desire to be a girlfriend even more than a lover or a girl, don’t you? Oh, how precious!”

I picked out a camisole to wear over my new bra, and for now, put my skirt back on. I had my new bra and the cami under my open blouse.

Forever 21 had a mauve pink body con dress that I wanted for rehearsal night. I surprised Jane when I bought it, but then that was as I hoped. She could wonder for a while. I had no intention to do this forever, but if she thought so, more wonderful to me.

Mom and I had a mother/daughter evening out on Monday when I told her about my breasts. She had already surmised it but wanted me to be the one who brought it up. Mom said, “Neither Jane nor the doctor would tell me. Were you intending to go this far in being Lela?”

I said, “I had hoped to look more like a regular girl, but I didn’t believe it would get this far. I crossed over some boundaries and took twice medication sometimes. Once it started to happen, I just got caught up in it. Jane and even new friends like Debbie like my pretending to be a girl. I like that I’m part of the bridal party. I’m probably the only boy who wished for something like this.”

We were in a special restaurant, Wally’s on the Hill, and the glow of the candle made mom’s smile and appearance glow. I could only hope I looked like an attractive daughter to her.

I asked, “Were you surprised or upset about how far things have gone?” I waited out her pause, I so much wanted to hear what she had to say?

She said, “I was surprised but happy when you first went to Victoria’s and that things have blossomed from there causes me concern. While I like having a daughter and a mother/daughter moment like now; I ask you to back off and let Lee emerge again.”

She said, “Not knowing what it feels like being a boy, I can’t appreciate how different you see it?” The conversation, that unfolded over dinner and into the evening, was precious… “If you decide you’d want to stay as Lela, I want you to trust me enough to be open about it. But I want you to get back to being Lee before considering that.”

I asked my mother, “How come, you and I as Lee have never talked like this?”

“We talked enough, I thought. I knew how you felt about Jane and her girlfriends. You wouldn’t open up to me or your guy friends like you do with the girls. I was more afraid of what the guys would say.” She looked up at me, and mom’s expression changed. “Lee, you been a very good big brother, but it is like you’ve grown and matured as a person in a different way being Lela. You’re the same, but you’ve grown up.”

We giggle about the coming month, after the wedding. The fact that even without taking medication it would take time for my testosterone to build back up.
=^_^=
Tuesday and Wednesday, I was Lee most of the time. Greg and I played catch in the yard. Mom allowed me to use the car and we went hiking up into the foothills. He was amused when we passed others and we knew because of my hair that some wondered if I was indeed his brother like we said.

“Lee,” Greg said, “don’t be offended, but have you any tips about my asking girls out?” I was about to get upset, and as a brother, I was about to hit him in the shoulder for asking such a question, but I stopped and thought differently.

“Thanks for asking,” I said, “the best advice is like with Becca, talk with her and listen, don’t be too quick to give her advice.”

Greg is a good student like me, but he’s built more like our dad was. I felt worse for him when Grandpa Scott got upset when our mom dated again. They don’t live close and intentionally have stayed away. I think Greg is the one who lost out most from another man being absent.

Wednesday evening, Jane was back over and I was back to being Lela. I hadn’t put my breastforms back on and was wearing a camisole under a tank top. She joked, “You know, you’d make a good-looking tomboy.”

Marcy and Lisa came over and the four of us were in my bedroom. Lisa checked my closet and commented, “You know you have quite a lot of girl clothes for being a boy?” She saw my old comforter on the top shelf of my closet and some of Lee’s clothes. She said, “Don’t take offense, but even as Lee, I don’t see you going back to being the boy you were.”

Marcy asked the same question, I had, “What do you mean by that?”

“He’s more grown-up and has more confidence,” she said. “Your clothes were dull and for a younger boy. You may still have the like for computers and devices, but I suspect even there you’ll be different. You are way more mature as Lela and as a person than you were.”

Marcy and Lisa both saw my new mauve-pink body con dress and insisted I model it for them. All three girls laughed when I insisted they wait downstairs. Marcy just wanted me to try on the dress, but Jane knew I intended to dress up a little.

I didn’t do all my makeup or completely change my hairstyle, but it all changed some. My lip gloss went with my dress as did my blush. I went light on a dark purplish mascara and I went with a sultry metallic look with my eyeshadow. I was going for a reaction and got rave reviews, except my mother.

She said, “I accept the dress, accessories, and makeup, except for the eyes.”

Marcy said, “I am impressed that you could do the look, but our moms wouldn’t allow that look to leave the house. If I had the nerve, I’d have to change it over at someone else’s house.”

The look I got from Greg when he walked into the room, was priceless. He asked, “Mom, you’re not going to allow her to go out like that?”

Thursday, I met with Aubrey and Serena for lunch and Serena had a list of things about Friday and Saturday, the wedding day. In bold letters, “It is Lela, and she only who is part of Saturday. Even if my sister Cami gives you a hard time, we don’t want Lee getting dressed, being in the wedding, or at the reception.”

Jane was there and she spoke up, “We will dance together sometimes, but it will be with Lela.” I was a little astonished at that. But Jane insisted it was just for her sister’s wedding day.

I was over to the Brewer’s house mid-morning to help gather things and take them to the church or where the rehearsal dinner was to be held. We used paper plates with ribbons and bows stuck to them to represent our flower bouquets and that of the bride. We decorated the tables for the rehearsal dinner a little. Friday afternoon, we began to decorate the church and then the reception hall. Mrs. Brewer had table arrangements for each table at the reception, There were cartons of flower petals for each table that would be spread over the table by the reception staff the next day. We did a lot of little things, but Jane assure me that there would be many more decorations come the wedding day from florists, and those hosting the reception.

I was thrilled to be part of it once but was amazed that girls and women got so caught up doing these things. I thought by 11:00 that morning I would tire out, instead, I got more excited and found energy along the way.

I went home to shower and change but was ready and excited that Jane and her father picked me up for the rehearsal. My mauve pink dress was seen as special as I had hoped. Serena as the Maid of Honor went out of her way to help me feel welcomed and relaxed. Debbie’s sister Denise was there as a special assistant to the bride. She had a basket of thread, needles, buttons, scissors, and more than I could imagine. Mrs. Brewer called it the whatever basket. She had an extra pair of stockings for the bride, two extra pairs for the bridal party, as well as extra makeup or polish remover.

It was at the church for the rehearsal that we met Bethany Long for the first time. Bethany was to sing Paul Stookey’s The Wedding Song, but as she began to sing it her voice squeaked, and then she lost her voice. Beth and Aubrey both began to cry. Aubrey explained, “I saw this song as my asking God’s blessing on the wedding. And Bethany was to be my voice in singing it for the wedding.”

The pastor explained, “Recordings of Paul Stookey singing it are easy to come by. Someone can download it and we can play it tomorrow.” Unfortunately, Aubrey wasn’t being easily soothed.

I whispered to Jane, “Bethany has the recorded music and the words. One of you can sing it; it’s not that difficult of a song.”

Serena heard me and said, “Shame of you, if it’s so easy why don’t you sing it.”

Not thinking, I said, “It would be easier to sing it as a woman than as Paul Stookey.”

Bethany agreed with me, “It is easier if the singer knows enough not to try too hard,” She took me off to the small chapel, to see if I could indeed sing the song and hear my voice.

It was the third time through that she took me back to the main sanctuary. The second time running through the wedding in rehearsal, I was asked to sing the song. It was heartening to see Aubrey’s smile return to her face.

It was our hope that come the next day that Bethany’s voice would have returned, but the wedding party was at ease with the service. Before we went to the rehearsal dinner, Aubrey felt the need to sit down with me and her mother, about her growing faith. As she said, she hadn’t become very religious but she did have a growing faith. That it was important to her that she was part of blessing her wedding and marriage.

That made it a little more nervous in singing the song, but also more meaningful. Jane who was there squeezed my hand. “This is going to make it even more amazing that you’re part of this wedding.”

That night my mother knew I was sleeping over at the Brewers, but not that I was too nervous to sleep alone. Jane figured out that I wasn’t sleeping because the light in my room didn’t go out. She came into my room took me by the hand to her room and gave me a tube top. She told me to lie down and go to sleep and she spooned herself around me. We both woke up after 3:00 and we kissed which led to a little more made, we kissed the breasts of one another. We even sucked on the breast of the other. Finally, she swatted my butt and told me to go to sleep again…

To be continued…