No secret remains unraveled forever... even if your life is at risk.
I feel like waiting the end of my life. Maybe it's the gods who are punishing me for a great sin. And I did a terrible sin. First, I found my husband, Aslan, secretly wearing my clothes, my make-up and smoking my cigarettes. I accepted him and he dresses like a woman whenever we are at home. Then, I wanted to become half-man, more exactly a shemale. Aslan both me a strap-on and I worn it in the house. We both crossed gender barriers. Now, we wait to be punished for our sin.
A child came to our home with a message from Syracuse, a mafia leader, requesting us to come to a secluded place in the forest. This scared me to death. What does he want? We are two nobodies. What reason would he have to do such a thing? And what will happen to us?
No doubt, this is the punishment for the sin we committed. I should change my life and implore any god for mercy. Well, I don't feel like this. The punishment will come and I am here, waiting to receive it. We made together this sin and we will pay together, even if it's death.
But who is Syracuse?
It all started when the economy collapsed. Our small state became independent, ruled by a bunch of highly corrupted politicians. In the first 3 years, they tried everything to get money. They increased taxes and started to control everything. State employees were looking everywhere for fees. Guilty or innocent, it didn't matter. Everyone had to pay fees and bribery was on the daily list. They stopped cars and trains and held everyone guilty. The state tried to borrow money, tried to sell industry, tried anything to gain more money, but everything was spent on ever increasing salaries for state employees. Roads became too unrepaired to be used, railways started to collapse, electricity was no longer available all day long... Because of ever increasing taxes and ever increasing controls, everything started to fall apart. Farmers had to pay a fee higher then the value of their lands and animals. In the end, it became impossible to gain money from any source. State employees started to make strikes, to protest. Schools were closed, institutions were closed and politicians were fighting one against the other in any possible way, for what little remains to destroy.
When no other solution was possible, the state started printing money. Hyperinflation. All state employees had salaries as high as they wanted, but in two weeks, they could hardly buy a pack of cigarettes with all that money. And this was the moment when total chaos was about to start. Why? Mutiny. State employees turned one against the other. It almost turned into an armed conflict. however, none of them had support from the population. No. We just wanted to be left alone. We wanted peace.
That was the point when mafia came in. They existed before, but were almost ruined by state abuses and hyperinflation. Well, the word 'mafia' is a bit forced. In fact, it is different. They are businessmen, working at the border between legal and illegal, more or less. Some are born here, some came here, when our state was formed, during the repatriation programs. They offered people a place to work, they helped those in need, so they gain support from the people, while everyone was hating the state employees. In the midst of chaos, hyperinflation came to an abrupt halt, when the state ran out of ink to print more money. With that, state power collapsed. But the mafia wanted our state to exist, they wanted some sort of peace. So, they came to the president, offered him life-long support, in exchange for some reforms. This includes no taxes for them, no inspections, no control and fixing the inflation at 50%. People were very happy with this.
So, who are these 'mafia' leaders? Everyone knows them, but nobody speaks about them in public. There are 12 people, with the 12th being considered the vice-president. Ragusa is the wood lord, he cuts the forests and sells wood outside. Stromboli is the tobacco lord, he produces counterfeited cigarettes and sells them to other guys who ship them to the Civilized World. Gavi is another one, who produces counterfeited alcohol and sells it to the lands Beyond The Ice. Palermo works with coal, which is mined in the mountains. Catania rebuilt the electricity system and is selling electricity to the people. Antioco provides internet connections. And there are others. One can see that this is not about drugs, sex or weapons. Still, these things exist and pass through our land, but the 12 don't want this to happen. They do their best to keep such things out of our lands.
So, who is Syracuse?
He operates the basics of our transportation, the railway system. He managed to open railways that collapsed, even if trains travel very slow, sometimes below 20 km/h. People travel almost for free, but all the other lords have to pay him something for their goods to pass. There are many places without a road access, but with a railway. We have no functional airport and roads are good only for horse carriages and off-road vehicles.
What would, such an important person, want to do with us?
Time passes. Suddenly, we hear the sound of an SUV. Only a lord can have the money for such a vehicle. I take Aslan's hand and squeeze it.
"Don't be afraid", he says. "We did nothing, he has no reason to kill us".
A few moments later, we can see the car approaching. It stops right in front of us. Yes, it's Syracuse in person. It is the first time when I see him: a man a bit fat, tall, in a black costume, with new, clean shoes and with a smell of expensive perfume. We watch him as he steps out of the car. Looking closer, I see he wears a pistol.
As it is polite, we kneel and kiss his hands.
"Rise!" he says. "Both of you!"
We stand-up and wait, to see what will happen.
"I think there is something you can do for me", he says.
I see no expression on his face. He is cold like steel. We say nothing, just wait.
"You", he says to Aslan. "You are something between a man and a woman!"
Oh mine! He found out somehow and now he is going to make us do his dirty work... because, if anyone finds out that Aslan is a secret cross-dresser, he might be killed.
"And you", he says looking at me, "you are dreaming to be half man".
I feel my face turning pale white. Is this a death sentence? It is clear that he knows and we are at his mercy.
"Here is the deal", he says. "I need an informatory".
"Sir", says Aslan. "I don't think we are up to this job".
"Quiet", I whisper to Aslan, thinking that we could get killed for the secret he knows.
"This is a small place", says Syracuse. "I cannot send people that are well-known or those who cannot be trusted. Nobody would expect a cross-dresser. And I know that I can trust you".
He insists on the last words, taking his pistol and playing with it.
"We accept", says Aslan. "How can we serve you?"
Syracuse looks at him, thinking for a while. Then, he looks at me and says:
"You will need to train him to look and behave like a woman in all aspects. Then, I will use him as an informatory. You will also work for me. And I guarantee you both higher salaries and protection".
He insists on 'protection', putting his pistol back in his pocket.
"The main problem is with your voice" he says, pointing at Aslan. "You have to change your voice. I will pay as much as needed".
I have no idea how voice can be changed. We will have to look at the internet. There must be a way. And if it is, we have to do it.
"We'll do all what we can", I answer.
He takes money and throws it on the ground in face of us. It's the equivalent of 100 $ in our currency.
"Make him a woman with this money", he says to me. "We will meet in tomorrow at the same hour, the same spot".
Saying this, he steps back in the SUV and returns to the town. We look shocked.
"Well, it looks like we have no other option", I say. "I will have to make you a woman if we want to live".
"Fuck!" mumbles Aslan. "This is too far. Somehow, someone seen us".
As far as I know, we were very careful to hide it all. How could Syracuse find out such a thing? There is only one possibility. Dmitry! The former KGB agent that hides at the mill, dressed in a Muslim widow. He is the only one who knows all this. When I found Aslan was a secret cross-dresser, I asked for his help. Then, he was the one who found the strap-on for me. I speculate he is the one who sold Syracuse the information about our cross-dressing.
"Well, we are still alive", I say.
Aslan takes the money and stops, thinking. Then, he says:
"He gave us a salary. This is a good advance for a job".
**********
The next day, we go to work, like usual. Well, we have a big surprise. I find out that I was fired... and when I return home, Aslan also comes, saying that he was fired too. No explanation, we were just fired. Well, it is clear that we have now no choices. Syracuse changed our lives by force. Well, I worked for the internet provider and Aslan worked for the electricity provider. Both companies are owned by some of the 12 lords. What to expect? Syracuse told them he needs us... or who knows what.
Well, it is now time to continue the transformation for Aslan. After all, he is the key person in this. Only that, now we are no longer doing this for pleasure. We are doing this because we have to, because it is our lives that are in risk.
Aslan goes home, where he will try to find a solution on the internet for his voice. I go to the bazaar, for other reasons. Syracuse wants to see us today evening. Most of sure he wants to be convinced that Aslan can be a trans woman. I buy a few items for this purpose.
When I come back home, I find Aslan working on this. He found a guide on the internet: how to feminize your voice in 30 days. Basically, you can slowly alter your voice, train yourself to speak like a woman. Until then, I thought surgery or some medicine will be needed. I feel so relaxed that he will not go to any surgery! After all, where can you find medical services in here? Nowhere.
For me, this is the most important part. Everything else can be tricked. I mean, with the use of clothes, make-up and proper gestures, he can pass as a woman. Not many will find out. The voice remains his main problem.
Then, I start working with things I never dared before. I decide to paint his hair. He has a short hair, like most men would like to wear. It is a dark-brown color. How about changing it into a dark red? For the first time in his life, he will have his hair painted.
"This is the point of no return", he says, as I start applying the paint.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"From this moment on, I no longer can appear as a man".
He speaks with a voice that is already a bit changed. He is working already on the transformation.
"Anyone who will see me like this, knowing I am a man, will kill me".
I think about the risks. Oh no! Now, we will have to hide our identities. One mistake and we are doomed. We are passing through a door and on the door there is a mark saying: 'one entry fuck no exit'. This is one way entry to hell and there is fucking no exit.
How I wish I didn't allow him to go that far! How I wish I didn't allow him to buy that strap-on! Now, look at him, look at what he is becoming! Look at what is happening to our lives!
I finish painting his hair, then I make a bit lighter color and paint myself. If he does something, I should be suffering together with him. He helps me do this. But, it almost makes me cry to see him with a hair like this. If anyone who knows him will find out...
Then, I carefully paint his nails in red. That should work well, both for his fingers and his toes. I do the same for me, with a lighter color. We wait for our hairs and nails to dry, while we smoke a cigarette. We say nothing. I can see that he is in a great tension, probably as big as me.
We hardly eat something. It is too much tension on us. We try to turn on the TV or to go to the computer, but it's no good. Aslan goes to the computer and tries again to feminize his voice. The exercises are not easy and need patience.
Later, we get dressed. I take on a white dress and white sandals, while he takes on a pink dress with black sandals and a bra. Thinking if we should wear pantyhose, I don't know. Not many women wear them in summer, so we should not. On the other hand, they are a strong fetish for Aslan, they may give him more confidence. So, I decide it's better to take some very transparent ones. Then, I make the final adjustments on both of us: make-up, lipstick, earrings, bracelets and sunglasses. We now clearly look like two women.
"Now comes the big part", says Aslan. "How do we get from home to the forest? People will be looking at us. They might recognize me!"
Oh no! He is right. Is it possible for him to travel all that distance unnoticed? Should I undress him and dress him like a man until we reach the forest side? But what about his hair? Oh no, I see no way! A hat? But it's summer, everyone will look suspicious. How to wear a winter hat in summer?
I see no solution. If I hide his hair, what about the nails? How would they react to see a man with painted nails?
"How do we get to the forest?" I ask, almost hitting the walls with my fists.
"We walk", answers Aslan.
"How?" I ask, with tears in my eyes.
"Abida, honestly, I see no way out. Syracuse guaranteed our safety. We go like this to the meeting point".
"You mean..."
He vanishes in the bedroom and returns with something.
"You also take this", he says.
The strap-on. What is in his mind?
"Maybe he wants also to transform you into a man", he says. "Put on the small one and keep in your purse the big one".
"What a fuck?"
"Abida, do as I say", he says. "I never forced you anything since we are married, but now, I do. That man is out there and wants us to obey his orders".
I listen. What choice do we have, after all? I rise-up my dress and fix the belt. Then, I add the little rubber penis in its place. I watch myself carefully, to see if it is visible. No, it is not. Oh mine! Now, I feel like a snowball falling in hell or like a rabbit encircled by a thousand wolves. I put the big rubber penis in my purse. Then, I realize something. Aslan has no purse! I run and search for one. Oh, here is one that might fit him. He takes it and puts it on his shoulder.
"Not like that", I say. "Gently, like a lady".
Time is ticking. We need to go, to arrive in time. He looks at me, then says:
"We need to go".
"I know, but..."
"No but. We open the door and go straight to the destination. Don't look around, don't talk to anyone. We just go".
"Ok... I am not ready".
"Abida, we have to. Maybe Syracuse comes before us".
I don't want this! No! What if people will kill us?
"Abida, when I count to 3, we go. Ready?"
"No", I answer, almost crying.
"One", he says, squeezing the door handle in his hand.
I can see his red nails twisted around the handle. I look down, at his toes. The sheer pantyhose are merely invisible if you look from distance.
"Two", he says, with a voice of a scared person.
I twist my hands, nervous, until I hit my belly. A bit below, I feel the strap-on. Oh mine! What will happen next? Will it be visible? Will people realize what is going on with us?
"Three", he says, opening the door.
Outside, there is almost nobody. Two small children are playing on the street, not paying any attention to us. Aslan exits first, then me. He closes the door.
"Let's go!" he says.
We start walking. I feel such a tension, as I never felt. We see the first person passing by, it's a man, a neighbor.
"Hi, Abida!" he says.
"Hi", I say, not looking into his eyes.
He did not recognize Aslan! That's good. Maybe we can find a way. We keep on going. Two women come, carrying vegetables in a basket. I don't know them. They pass, not looking at us. That's good. Next, comes a man on a motorbike.
"How are you, ladies?" he asks.
I just ignore him. We are not for sale. He passes away.
Then, I advice Aslan to go on another road, not through the center. There, someone might know us. We travel without incidents. At some point, a kid asks us for a cigarette. We just ignore and continue walking. We get out of the town and enter the forest. From here, not many people will be around.
In the end, we arrive at the former aqueduct. We stop here, on the bridge, then light a cigarette. This was a challenge!
"We made it!" says Aslan.
"We will have to make this trip back", I say.
"Later. Now, let's wait for the boss".
There is so much tension inside me. I feel like going to explode. Why all this? Why is this happening to us? Aslan is starting to be more nervous then I am. I notice how he puffs the cigarette, more angry then I do. Then, he throws the filter on the road. I can see a trace of lipstick on the filter. Does he look close enough to a woman? Will it all be ok as things are now? I closely analyze his make-up, the powder I applied on his face, the make-up around his eyes, his lashes, everything. His hair is still too short. Women like to keep a longer hair, but it was not time enough. A bra under his dress gives a fake impression that he has breasts, but... if someone pushes on it, will find out the truth. Well, there are also women with small breasts. However, his body is large, robust, like that of a man. He could pass as a fat or robust woman. I've never seen a fat woman without large breasts. So, we need to do something about.
I look at his dress. It looks feminine enough, no doubt. His hands, now with painted nails and with bracelets, look like those of a woman. close enough! His feet, covered with sheer pantyhose, clearly look like those of a woman. He wears flat, plastic sandals, as all women wear in summer. But still, there is a difference. It is clear that he still does not know how to walk like a woman. First of all, I notice a run-off in his pantyhose. He must be careful, they are very fragile, especially summer ones. Walking with open-toe sandals, it is even more difficult, mainly on these roads.
He tries to sit down, on the bridge. I immediately notice something that no woman should do. He sits, with his knees at some distance.
"No, not like this", I say. "If I sit in front of you, I can see all under your skirt. You have to keep your knees close one to the other or to sit with one foot over the other".
"Like this?" he says, trying to adjust position.
"Like that... no! You will ruin your pantyhose if you do that! Only the dress can touch any surface, not your feet. Let me see..."
Yes, he made another hole in his pantyhose.
"Sorry", he says.
"I think it should be better not to use pantyhose at first, you will ruin many pairs until you learn".
"Ok", he answers.
"And try to feminize your voice!"
"Ah, sorry", he says, with a changed voice.
"That's better", I answer.
He looks at his clothes, lighting another cigarette.
"I need to create fake breasts somehow".
"Yes, we did not think about that", I say.
I did not think about this aspect. I know that there are fake breasts that can be glued on skin. With some make-up, they will look close to real. But where to find them? Again, we will have to go to Dmitry. How complicated things are becoming!
Finally, we hear the sound of a car. It is clear, Syracuse is coming. It is now or never. Will this work? Will he be pleased? Or will he kill us? The car approaches and we see it. It's the same SUV. Syracuse comes out of the car and looks at us. He carefully examines Aslan, but also looks at me.
"What is your name?" he points at Aslan.
"Aslan", he answers, short.
"I told you to prepare yourself", he answers, with the same unchanged, steel face. "How about Kira?"
We don't answer anything. He found us on a bad move from the beginning.
"Who are you, Kira?" he asks. "Tell me your life story!"
Again, we don't answer anything.
"You need to build your own personality as a woman", he says, still pointing at Aslan. "People will ask you who you are and where are you from. They will try to seek relatives of you. Would you think about something?"
"Yes", says Aslan. "Yes, I will, sir!" he repeats, with a more feminine voice.
"Until you will change your voice, I cannot send you on the trains", says Syracuse, short. "Or, maybe, you can pretend you are a mute".
Then, he points at me, looking to my crotch.
"You have your strap-on?"
"Yes", I say.
"Is it that small?"
"Yes, but I also have a larger version".
"When you will come to work, I want you to wear this one under your dress", he says, short.
I immediately notice what this is about. At any moment, if I don't do what he wants, he will tell the people what I wear. He completely has us tied. Willing or not, we have to do what he says.
"We will follow your orders", I answer.
He comes to Aslan and carefully inspects him. His hair, his make-up, everything. He pushes in his breasts and finds out that there is just a bra beneath them. He continues to look at his dress, at his feet and his sandals.
"Impressive work, but you have more to do", says Syracuse. "First of all, you need a longer hair, but still it can pass as feminine. Secondly, you need to change your voice. Do you smoke?"
"Yes", answers Aslan.
"Great. Then, people can say your voice changed a bit because you are a chain smoker. But very important, you need breasts. And build an imaginary life".
Then, he looks at me, carefully, examining my body. He then, suddenly pushes on my crotch, finding out where the strap-on is.
"Show me!" he says.
Is he trying to have sex with me?
"Show me!" he insists.
I accept and rise my dress, until he can see. I notice that Aslan becomes angry.
"Don't worry, I am not into what you think!" says Syracuse to Aslan. "I am figuring out if someone will find out or not about this".
I open the purse and show him the big one.
"No, don't wear that one in public. It is too large and people will find out".
He moves one meter away from me, looking at both of us.
"And who you two are?" he asks. "You need to come with a theory that would be plausible. Are you friends from school? Coworkers? Are you cousins? You cannot say that you are married. You have to invent something. Are you divorced? Did your husbands died? I am not telling you a scenario, only you must come with one. Don't come with the theory that you are lesbians and you are in love. You know what will happen".
He then pushes Aslan's breasts with a finger and says:
"Fake breasts will be ordered and will come soon. Tomorrow, your training will begin. I will handle you to the only person I trust: my wife. Come at the railway station, open the green door, then wait there. Be sure you arrive at 8 AM. Take these two cards, you cannot enter without them".
He gives us two cards, with the sign of the railway company. Then, he gets in his car and departs.
We remain for a few minutes here, without moving.
"I am Kira, your cousin from Land Of Towers", says Aslan.
"On the fuck with this all!" I answer. "Do you know the language spoken there?"
"That sucks!" says Aslan. "But I do know the language spoken in the Land Over The Mountains. My grandma was from there".
"And how did you come here?"
"You found me a job. You know that land is poor".
"Poorer then ours?"
"No, but... It's the best lie I can play with".
"So be it, Aslan. You are my cousin".
"Kira, not Aslan", he corrects me. "If we are cousins, this can explain why we live in the same house".
"Kira..." I repeat with half voice, only for myself.
"Yes, Kira will be my name".
"And we will say that Aslan went to the Civilized World to work".
"And I came here because you found me a job, because you are alone".
"Just one thing... Kira", I add. "You are married, but something happened to your husband".
"He went to work too, in the civilized World", says Aslan. "This sounds plausible. And I came because I was alone".
"That is plausible... Kira", I say. "Now, let's get back home".
We return to the town. This time, we take the direct road, close to the center. People will start to get used to Kira.
"Until you feminize your voice enough", I say, "don't speak too much. Pretend you don't know the language well".
We return home. On the way, a neighbor sees me and says:
"Hi, Abida! How are you?"
"I am fine".
"Where is Aslan?"
"He went to the Civilized World, to work. He has a contract".
"And who is she?"
"She is Kira, my cousin".
"Hi, Kira!"
Aslan says no word, just salutes with his hand.
"She doesn't know the language well", I say.
"Where is she from?"
"Land Over The Mountains".
This was all. We travel to home without any incident. Who knows what tomorrow will bring us? Tensions are immense for both of us. But, nevertheless, we did it. Aslan traveled through the town dressed like a woman... and nobody found out. I mean Kira, he will no longer be Aslan... and he will be a she. And I walked through the town with my strap-on and nobody had any idea what was under my dress.
TO BE CONTINUED
