Dancing on Daddy's Shoes

by Mark McDonald

Chapter 10: Hurricane Kirk has blown out the lights, trashed the house and flooded their lives with grief. Kim blames herself, but there's still a way to make her brother whole. The mask must come off. After what Kirk has done to her, will it?



Dancing On Daddy's Shoes - Chapter 10 - The Flood

A specialist, Doctor Grant Hennison, joined them about a half an hour after Robert's surgery was finished. He was young, clean cut with bright brown eyes that seemed to flash with life and confidence. He was the type who had his jeans dry cleaned. His hair wasn't combed, it appeared to be sculpted. Kim couldn't help thinking when she first saw him, 'Is anyone in the world really that clean cut?' apparently so. Still Kim couldn't quite believe her eyes. He was pleasant and had a gentle manner about him. In Kim's opinion, he was Okay.

As they stood to receive him, Kim noticed that he came in, as the saying goes, like a lamb, humble, a servant sharing the worries of the patient's family. He introduced himself, invited both women to sit and immediately got to the point, "Let me start off by saying that Robert is out of surgery and for the moment, I don't believe he's in any immediate danger. I don't wish to sound insensitive about this. There's nothing business like about what we do and I don't want to give the impression that's how I'm looking at this. We're going to do everything we can to get Robert healthy again."

Kim could feel the relief fall off her in sheets. From the look on her mother's face, the effect must have been mutually felt. But Kim knew there was more… there was always more. She held her tongue and waited for the inevitable, it didn't take long. "I don't want to mislead you, anything can happen to change that. For now, he's stable and I believe out of danger of declining any further, but he was badly hurt."

Cindy and Kim sat in exquisite alarm as the doctor explained that Robert had experienced some superficial head trauma that had resulted in some brain hemorrhaging. The bleeding was under control and the pressure from the trapped blood had been relieved during surgery. Some of the things they were going to see would not be life threatening, but they would be disturbing. Robert's cheek and jaw bones had been fractured at some point in the altercation. His jaw was repaired enough to allow him limited use for talking and some chewing in time. This and his cheek would require surgery later to repair the rest of the damage. This was, for the most part, a cosmetic issue. His right leg was broken in three places and was pinned together. Seven ribs had suffered minor fractures. He was swollen. It would take several days, even weeks perhaps for that to completely subside. He was bruised and in a lot of pain.

"We're going to keep him in a state of heavy sedation to allow as much of that pain to subside on its own as possible." Hennison explained. "He won't suffer through the worst of that. There'll still be pain when he wakes, so he'll be frustrated when that happens. It would be better for everyone if you're prepared for that. You also need to be prepared for the traction halo we are fitting with now him with until his neck injury heals."

"I don't understand," Cindy said. "Halo?" Kim however did understand. There were juniors from both her lives enrolled at Mathers wore halo's full-time. Gary Brice had a degenerative bone disorder that was slowly dissolving his skeleton. He now needed a halo to prevent breaking his neck by simply nodding his head yes. It was a horrible thing to see, like some sort of medieval torture device and it could only mean one thing. Inside her tiny chest, her heart blew into a million tiny shards of razor sharp glass.

"Your son broke his neck in the fall."

Cindy closed her eyes and bent forward as if someone had punched her in the stomach. "Oh no…"

"His spinal cord"

"OH GOD NO!" Cindy wailed, cutting the doctor off, expecting the worst. Kim's face was buried in her hands, she was sobbing helplessly.

"Relax Mrs. Glass," Doctor Hennison tried to soothe her. "Over all I think the news I have is pretty good. Please, let me finish."

"How can this be good news?"

"It's not of course. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to infer" Hennison stopped. "His spinal cord is NOT severed!" For a minute, Hennison thought Cindy might faint dead away. She wavered for a second, then burped an hysterical laugh of gratitude and fell forward into the Doctor's arms. As he held her, Hennison continued. "It was badly bruised. He shattered the C5 through C7 vertebra near the base of his skull, but I think he'll get back much of the use of his arms and legs."

Cindy sat up and withdrew from the Doctor's arms. She slipped her right hand into Kim's left and squeezed, "Thank God."

"Yes, Thank God," the Doctor agreed. "But his neck is still broken. I can't sugar coat this for you. It's a devastating injury. He's incapacitated. He'll be in a wheelchair for a long time. He'll need months, perhaps years of physical therapy. We've supported his head with a halo and shoulder brace. He needs bone graphs to reconstruct his neck. We've added a titanium cage to protect his spinal cord and give the bone graphs a structure to grow on, but there are more painful surgeries ahead of him."

"But he'll live," Cindy added hopefully.

Hennison nodded. He sighed. "Look, Mrs. Glass. I know of your son. The ambulance attendants that brought him in told everyone he was a pretty decent athlete, on his way to college on a sports scholarship."

"I know what you're trying to say. I know Robert may feel differently when he finds out, but I don't care. We'll have to deal with all that in its own time. This isn't the end of the world. I just glad my baby is going to get some kind of a second chance." Cindy smiled a little sadly but gratefully.

Kim was pleasantly surprised. She had believed that her mother's obsessive hold on the status quo would rule her passions in any situation where her children were concerned. This was a great departure from that assumption. Here, she was able to put aside all her aspirations for her son, happy to settle for the bare minimum, life itself. Even in the face that the quality of that life might become terribly diminished.

After several more minutes of consultation, Hennison left, leaving them both with a vague picture of Robert's immediate future. All they could do was wait.

An hour later a medical team came in to what the nurses were calling "Fish Bowl #3" wheeling a gurney with a beaten and bloated Robert Glass. Cindy could not contain the gasp when she saw him. Her entire frame shook with sorrow, with fear, with doubt for any sort of future from the look of his condition.

Hennison had not accurately described her brother's appearance. The halo on his head was bolted into his skull at four points. His face was one large bruise, black and swollen. It looked to Kim much like the photos of frost bite she had seen mountain climbers suffering from. His eye sockets were nearly indiscernible except for pinched slits in the vicinity of where she knew they should have been.

Robert's head and upper torso was elevated, his neck wrapped with a heavy bandage, slopped with gore, presumably from the surgery. His leg was in traction, his chest wrapped protectively. A machine cycled his breathing. Kim was aghast when she realized Robert's chest would rise and fall with each rhythmic pump of the respirator he was attached to. He looked like Frankenstein's Monster.

He was her monster. She had built this one all on her own. Kim watched as nurses let their mother in to see him. Kim watched from outside the fish bowl, not allowed in to the ICU area because she was still in school and in contact with thousands of other germ carrying teens.

Cindy had been by his side, carefully stroking what was left of his hair, holding the only unburied place on his body, his right hand. She whispered softly to him, kissed his hand and fawned over him gratefully. She told him everything would be Okay. That she would take care of him, no matter how long it took. She told him not to worry about a thing. Then, she said something that made Kim flea the room in abject shame. She thanked him for risking so much to save his sister.

When Kim found the strength to return to the family area of the Fish Bowl, Cindy had been with Robert for nearly a half an hour. Long enough for Kim to cry out her guilt and return to an ordinary state of melancholy by the time her mother reappeared on her side of the glass wall. Cindy took her seat next to Kim. Kim sarcastically thought while staring through the glass at her brother that sorrow was hard on families, separation and public grieving even harder. How nice of the hospital to put up this barrier so that families could conveniently view the object of their grief.

They sat together in reserved quiet for a while, each looking out on Robert as the machines he was connected to measured and monitored, hummed and beeped. At 6:00 a.m. the next morning, Cindy finally spoke. "This is not your fault Kim." Her tone was business like, factual and unfeeling.

"Thanks Mom. Just maybe if you say it a thousand times, you might actually start to believe it. I won't, not ever."

Cindy turned to face Kim. Kim could see that her expression was anything but businesslike. Her smile was tender and full of love. Cindy's eyes were sympathetic. "I think I can imagine what you must be feeling. He's not here because you did anything wrong. He's here because he chose to do everything right. If he hadn't have, it might be you in there, or worse."

"I'll take the worse thank you." Kim said.

"No," Cindy responded sharply, startling Kimberly. "That wasn't your choice, it was Robert's. Today, I have both of my children. They are alive and I love them both." Cindy turned away, unable to face Kim with what she had to say next. "If you'd had the choice, well, Robert might not be hurt, but he'd have died anyway. He wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt Kim. He feels bad enough for…" she said confidently and added, "It's doesn't matter. None of us could have lived with that Kim."

"No, you were about to say something." Kim prodded.

Cindy stiffened a bit, and realizing she'd already gone to far she let it go. "The boating accident, when you got tangled up in the anchor line. Robert has never really forgiven himself for that prank." Cindy turned to Kim. "Don't you ever wonder why you're brother hates April Fool's Day?"

Some pieces of her past began to cross a long expanse of bridge just set into place. Hand buzzers, whoopee cushions, firecrackers, in fact, most practical jokes didn't set well with her brother. Kim had always believed it was just because Bobby had a lousy sense of humor.

"It was a prank Kim. He was trying to scare you."

Kim snorted, "Well, it worked."

"He's been spending his entire life trying to make up for that."

"I barely remember it Mom. He can't think I still hold some sort of sick grudge about it."

"He can't forgive himself Kim. I don't think he'll ever be able to. In his eyes, he almost killed you. That's pretty powerful JuJu as guilt goes."

"Well, that's just stupid." Kim said. "I love him. It was an accident."

"And what happened today with you was even less than that as far as your involvement goes."

"But the lamp…"

"You're very quick to forgive your brother for a deliberate act, a prank that turned bad. You were trying to save your brother's life, and you very well may have done just that. But you won't forgive yourself a noble act gone wrong." Cindy sat quietly and let her words filter through. When she spoke again she said simply, "I think that's just… how did you put it? Oh yes, stupid."

Cindy's hand came to rest on her daughter's. They both looked through the heavy glass window into the ICU pod where Robert slowly began the process of recovery. "Kirk decided to take something that wasn't his to take Kim. This is his fault. You did a very noble thing for Ben trying to protect him. That was very brave. Even if you hadn't have done that however, this would probably have happened anyway. It wasn't Ben he wanted." Kim swallowed and fought back the tears. "But, we're not going to dwell on this for now. We're going to get your brother healthy again, Okay?"

Kim nodded. Yes, they were going to get him healthy again, and she felt she knew exactly how it had to be done.

By late morning Tuesday, they had fallen into a sort of silent, exhausted vigil, neither had slept. Visitors had begun arriving not long after the news of Kirk's attack on Kim had hit the Nashville News affiliates. Cindy did not accept any phone calls, either from well wishers, concerned friends or reporters. The ICU was also off limits to non family members so the visitors that did arrive were forced to leave their gifts of flowers, cards and other things at the nurse's station.

In the hours that passed between talking softly about him, about old times and memories. Most of what they spoke of Kim had been too young to remember. One thing was apparent however, Kim didn't feel disconnected from anything her mother brought up. She had settled in comfortably here, and in spite of the events of the last few hours, Kim was beginning to feel as if all that they talked about were her memories.

Kim blushed when her mother brought up the time when she had been age four to about five and Kim would take every chance she could to hang out with the Pratt boy next door and kiss him whenever she could. There were not many clear Kimmories of any of that for Kim at that age, but she could remember always having been drawn to David.

Kim couldn't remember the cute toe-headed boy her mother did and how he would push her away each time she would lean over and kiss him. Just that faint memory of two small children, seen in her mind as though she had been an observer rather than a participant made her smile. It must have been so cute for her mother to have watched. She could remember ambush-kissing him many times and the result was always the same, an embarrassed grunt and the inevitable shove. Until one day, he shoved her and she tripped and fell over one of his toy trucks and opened a gaping wound on her head. She remembered screaming on the doctors table. They hadn't used any local anesthesia, just sewn her right up. "Even with that Kim, we just couldn't keep you away from him."

Kim and Cindy both giggled over that.

At 5:00 p.m., Kim excused herself to get her mother and herself a cola from the vending machine in the public waiting area beyond the ICU. She had immediately been swamped by friends of both her brother's and hers as they crowded in for news. "How is he?" -

"What's the latest" - "Is he going to be able to" - "What's going" - "Have you heard"

"He's fine," she said in her soft voice. Her voice was almost miniscule in comparison to the clambering voices of everyone there. "He broke his neck, but he's going to be Okay." Gasps and cries met the news as best as Kim could give it. "Please…" Kim begged but hand after hand wanted her attention.

"Okay you animals, back up!" Kim would have known that voice anywhere. Sarah Beckland stepped into the fray and began pushing people back away from Kim, "ERIC!" Sarah called out and Eric Devlon raced in using an impressive flanking maneuver that would have impressed General Robert E. Lee. He got the crowd of students quieted and settled back. Kim did her best to let them know what was going on with Robert while Sarah fetched cola's for them. Kim was brief. She didn't want to talk to anyone about what had happened, but these were her friends, Robert's friends and they deserved something. When she finished, she told them to go home, "It's going to be a long wait. You'll know something when we're told. I promise. Thank you for all the flowers and cards. I'll make sure Bobby gets them when he wakes up."

Without saying another word she touched Eric's hand and thanked him with a look from her beautiful blue eyes. She then grabbed Sarah's hand and fled back into the private waiting area dragging Sarah with her.

They stopped in the small lobby that interconnected the many small waiting areas to the nurse's station. Kim dropped to one of the few chairs in the common area as it was called, and covered her face. "Pretty wild huh?" Sarah asked.

"If you only knew." She peeked out between her fingers. "Did I say thanks for the drinks?"

"Nope."

"How about the crowd control?"

"Uh uh," said indicated shaking her head.

"Nothin' but a selfish bitch, aren't I?"

"Pretty much," Sarah agreed.

"It's good to see you too." Kim said and spread her arms wide, looking fragile. She smiled, but to Sarah it was nothing more than a brave grimace. Sarah set the drinks down, bent and hugged her friend.

"You Okay?" Sarah whispered. Kim answered by with a few soft, emotional hitches of her body. "Shush… Sarah soothed. You're safe. You're safe now."

Kim broke their embrace. "I don't want my Mom to see me doing that. She's trying hard to be brave."

"They have him," Sarah said. "He's here, at St Anne's." Kim gasped, knowing full well she was speaking of Kirk. "They found him this morning, half dead, lying face down in a corn field just outside of town. The guy that found him was driving one of those big corn picker thingies. Anyway," Sarah waived off her distraction, "It almost ate him up and spit him out all over the corn."

"Too bad he stopped." Kim said flatly.

"You know, that's funny. I said the same thing," Sarah agreed flatly. Both girls looked at each other and despite the serious situation; both girls snickered at the suggestion.

Sarah opened Kim's soda and Kim gratefully downed half of it in a single gulp. Sarah then took Cindy the other one, said her hellos and offered her condolences, and returned to Kim as quickly as she could.

"Better?" Sarah asked.

"That son-of-a-bitch," Kim spat staring at the carpet.

"Guess that's a no…" Sarah noted cautiously. She sat next to her friend and took her hands. "Kim, I'll be here for whatever you need. My folks said, if there's anything they can do, you tell em. They'll be in here in a hot second. But I know this too Kimmy, you have to be there for yourself. You can't let this thing eat you alive." Sarah paused, "He ah… he didn't?"

Kim looked up trying to figure out what Sarah was trying to ask. It became painfully clear that no one out there knew she had not been raped. "No Sarah. He didn't. He tried as hard as he could, but Bobby and I guess a sturdy pair of jeans kept it from actually happening."

"That's something to be thankful for then." Sarah finished. The two friends smiled and hugged. "I know you won't let it go all at once. I don't think I could," Sarah admitted. "I'll be there every step of the way Kim. You won't be alone."

Kim wept thankfully, softly with her friend for her love. They talked briefly for a few moments more, Sarah told her Lindsay and James had been arrested that morning for their part in Ben's torture. School had been let out early afterward on release of the news of what Kirk had done. Rumors were flying everywhere and the cops were crawling all over the school to find answers. "Dean Hill is in an absolute panic." She told Kim as she prepared to leave. "I guess your brother came down and said something to him?"

"Yeah, that whole thing with Ben."

"He must be very special to have done something like that for him." Sarah said wistfully, almost romantically.

"In more ways than one, you just have to get to know him."

"Call me if you need anything," Sarah begged. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"Let me call you. Robert's out for a while and there's nothing anyone can do for a while." Kim glanced back at the room where her mother sat bravely keeping her watch. "I have to be here, for Mom."

Sarah nodded, "You'll call me?"

"Just as soon as I know something," Kim assured her. That seemed to satisfy Sarah and she turned to leave. "Oh," Kim stopped her before she left. "Watch over Ben for me, you know, until I get back."

Sarah smiled a warm, inviting smile full of love. "Sure. Nothing's going to happen to him Kim. Ben's probably safer at school than anyone else right now. But I'll watch him, talk to him. I'll keep him company for you."

"Thanks," Kim offered gratefully and kissed Sarah on the cheek.

Kim returned to the waiting room where her mother sat. "That was nice," Cindy said.

"Half the school was out there," Kim said mystified.

"They're worried about you."

Kim shook her head, "I guess. I get the feeling some of them are here to see the car wreck though. Is that bad of me?"

Cindy only smirked a chagrinned smile.

Her mind turned slowly to Ben. She could fix her brother's broken body. She could reverse what Kirk had done here. Ben was now the key to Robert's problems as well. Ben, bet you didn't think you'd ever be this important did you? She had to hope that what Kirk had done to her, the almost incidental groping and the mild burning at her face were only superficial. There was a good reason to need to go back now, more than just for Ben or herself, Robert's life hung on the beams of Fate's balance. Fate had crossed the line in the sand this time.

Cindy continued to relive moments from the past to cut the boredom of sitting and the terror of not knowing. Some of these were not so pleasant. Surprising ones, vivid and terrifying, so clear that she felt like she was living them again for the first time…

Cindy recalled a time Kim they had both just brushed over. It seemed inevitable that they would talk about it in detail. The focal point of why they were there was in the other room. Now he was the one fighting for his life. The scene her mother constructed however brought to focus the event in unexpected clarity in Kim's mind, for there were parts of it she couldn't remember. Others she remembered very differently than the way her mother told them. Cindy spoke with choked voice about when Robert had tied the anchor line of their boat to Kim's ankle as a prank, during a fishing trip in Florida. Her father had been piloting the boat and she had been sitting on the bow of the boat enjoying the spray and the wind in her face. "I was scared as hell with you up there, but your father insisted you'd be just fine," Cindy had recounted almost bitterly. Robert had crept up through the cabin hatch and tied the rope on while his sister had her foot dangling through the hatch. As Robert was about to tighten the line in a double knot, the engines cut and their father unceremoniously cried "Anchor HO!"

The rope began to play out just as he tightened the knot. Seeing the rope uncoil overboard as fast as it was, Robert must have panicked. Desperate at that point, he tried to untie the knot before the rope was completely overboard. Kim felt him tugging on her leg and pulled it up and out of the hatch only to find the rope attached to it. With the rope wet from all day use, Robert had been unable to get it off. The knot was too tight to undo easily.

"DADDY!" a very small seven year old Kimberly had screamed.

Thomas had looked where the small worried voice came from and saw Robert desperately trying to free his sister from the knot he had tied to her leg, "Jesus!"

Cindy had seen it too, "OH GOD!" Cindy had screamed. "THOMAS, GET IT OFF HER"

"Robert! What did you do?" Tom Glass roared at his son.

Terrified, Robert began to whine, "I didn't mean to. I didn't know you're going to drop anchor. I just wanted to tease her." Tom was slapping at the anchor release button, but the clutch had jammed. The rope continued to play out. Then with no warning at all, the entire coil fell over board. Now no one knew how much time was left before the rope tightened.

"GRAB HER ROBBY!" Tom Cried. "HOLD ON TIGHT!" But Kim was already trying to get to her father and was out of reach of her brother.

"KIM COME BACK HERE!" Robert had cried out. But she didn't she continued to the wind visor reaching out and crying in fear.

"Get out of the way!" He said to Robert who was blocking the hatch opening. Robert planned to simply grab is daughter and hold on to her for dear life. It wasn't the thirty-five pound anchor that was a concern. He could easily keep his daughter from being pulled overboard by it if he could get to her before the line played out. What worried him most was that if he failed, the anchor line was not attached at the deck. It was attached to the port bow! If it popped out of the cradle that drew the line back up, he would not be able to reach easily it if he allowed her to slip completely off the deck. As his head popped out of the hatch, the rope on Kim's leg tightened. There was a soft * BOING * as the tension spring popped loose and the rope fell completely away from the deck. Kim who had been struggling to pull the rope over her foot watched as the rope tightened, she turned to the hatch seeing her father, "DADDY?" She reached out her hands but Tom had not been fast enough. There had been a wet spray of saltwater as the rope became taught. Kim's leg was pulled out and she hit the deck hard with her chest. She was pulled off the slippery surface of the deck in a mere second.

"THOMAS!!!!!!" Cindy had shrieked. But Kim was gone. Even before he had been able to get one hand on her. Gone too was the rope.

Tom screamed "KIMBERLY" with one arm out stretched. He pulled himself through the narrow opening in the deck of the bow unaware that he was cutting great furrows in his arms as he pulled himself up, "Oh God! Oh God!" he mumbled the whole time. He slapped his hand once on his side checking that his pocket knife was there. It was! Tom poked his head over the rail hoping that Kim would be near the surface. This hope was soon crushed once Thomas was in the water. Kim wasn't at the end of the rope closest to the boat. There was still plenty of rope between her and the boat and it was still playing out. Below him, he could not see his daughter. Tom had very little hope of finding Kim alive below.

Tom grabbed the rope and began to climb hand over hand down into the blue water of the Atlantic Ocean. He used the freefall of the rope to help his decent while helping himself get closer faster by aggressively climbing down the rope. Below, a white fluid spot began to appear. Before long he knew it was Kimberly, she was fighting to climb back up the rope and was obviously failing. When he reached her she was conscious but had to be running out of air in her tiny lungs.

Kim could remember feeling the vibration in the line but could not see clearly in darkening water. She was terrified. She was going deeper and deeper and she knew the only air she had was already inside her. The pressure on her hears and head had begun to become very painful and her reflex to breathe was beginning to fight her for control of her lungs. She had shut her eyes against the struggle hoping to keep what little air she had left, inside her for as long as she could.

Then there were hands on her. Her eyes flew open and there had been her Daddy. She threw her arms around his neck and held on as tight as she could.

In the increasing darkness, it was all Tom could do to get his knife out of its leather holster on his belt. His fingers were slippery-wet and he had to fight to gain a purchase on the brass and finished wood surface. He struggled to get the knife out, his terrified daughter clung to his neck and impairing his vision and mobility. Little Kimberly had grabbed violently to the hair on his head. She was dying now, running out of air. Her hands clutching, pulling, trying to force her way back to the surface anyway she could.

He wished he had thought to tell Cindy to get the rope off the bow-hook and start pulling them both back up. at least they would be moving up instead of down. Just as his knife came free of the case, there was a jerk on the rope. His knife bounced out, in and back out of his hand. He reached down below the point he judged the next position of the knife would fall by the way it was swishing its way to the bottom, praying for a miracle hoping it didn't dance it's way out of his reach. The knife landed directly in the center of his out stretched fingers. Tom quickly closed his hand around it and withdrew the blade using his teeth.

They were still moving but now they were moving up! Cindy had thought to retrieve the anchor herself, Thank God! He wanted to scream halleluiah at the top of his lungs but he figured they were some thirty or forty feet down now. He would need all of his air for his daughter.

Tom began to cut the rope below the knot on her ankle, soon the anchor and its remaining rope fell away to the bottom of the ocean. Now he could concentrate on Kim. It was hard to focus underwater, but even Tom could tell his daughter's eyes had become lazy. It amazed him that she had held her breath this long, his lungs were a pair of giant burning charcoal embers in his chest. She had been down a few seconds longer than he had.

Then she began to struggle fiercely. This is what he had worried was coming. He had hoped to beat this to the surface. Her body was going to try to breathe. Like it or not, it was going to happen. He looked up and they were still ten feet from the surface, maybe more. He slammed his hand over the poor girl's mouth and held it tight. Please forgive me Baby.

Kim thrashed wildly in his arms pulling at them, trying to pry her fingers under his hands to take a breath. Tom could feel water being drawn in between the natural separations in his fingers and tried to squeeze them closed tighter. Kim began to cough. She was taking in water. All he could do was pray they broke the surface soon.

Wind and air greeted him and he sucked in the air gratefully. Kim too had calmed, obviously happy to be in a breathable atmosphere once more. His lungs were not as appreciative. They were rather angry at having been denied the one thing they needed to do their job, so they staged a rebellion on the spot. In this time, Tom had been aware that Cindy and his son were peering over the edge of the boat at the two of them still in the water. Kim's suspended struggle for air and her calm still body had begun to form a picture in Tom's mind of horrific proportions. He tried to position Kimberly so he could see her face, gage her condition and see if she had been hurt or was just resting after her ordeal. As he turned her away from his shoulder, Kim's head rolled backward loosely, like that of a rag doll.

Tom needed no confirmation to Kim's condition once he saw her face. Her face had turned a frightening shade of blue, her lips were almost black in color. Perhaps worst of all was the fact that Kim's eyes were still wide open and staring up at the happily bright blue sky above them all, only Kim could not see the beauty of the day, Kim was not breathing. He heard Cindy screech from some where above him, "OH GOD TOM… SHE'S DEAD!"

Surprised, Tom gazed at the limp, cold, bluish figure in his arms. From that point on, nothing moved fast enough. Anything and everything they did moved at a frustratingly slow pace, almost casually in the midst of all their panic. "Get her on the boat! HURRY… Get her up there…. Get something to warm her up." Tom barked orders while Cindy did her best to grab her daughter and pull her up by one arm. "Breathe for her Cindy, start breathing for her! DO IT NOW!" Kim's head hung backward, lolling this way and that, vacant eyes still staring sightlessly up into the sky. Her legs and one arm swung freely as Cindy hoisted her up over the rail and onto the deck. The image of this only served to drive that sickening feeling of hopeless deeper into their hearts. Robert stood out of the way, terrified, sicker than he'd ever felt, waiting, wanting to help but unable to make sense of anything that was happening before him. "Bobbie, go get a blanket from inside the boat, hurry." Cindy ordered as she began to try to pump air into her daughter's lungs.

But after two breaths, she could see Robert had not moved, "ROBERT LEE!" Cindy screamed, startling Robert, wide eyed with terror into action.

Tom swam the painfully slow swim to the stern of the craft, hoisted himself up, and bounded to the place where his daughter lay dying. He collapsed beside her, driving both knees painfully against the deck of the boat. Robert returned with an old blanket and waited for instructions. Tom, meanwhile, did his best to empty her lung of salt water, checked her heart beat, gratefully found one and then began mouth to mouth.

After three minutes of breathing for her, Kim coughed, spat up what seemed like a gallon of water. She was still for a frightening moment, then Tom rolled her over on her side, and she threw up. After that, while the three of them listened to the sweet sounds of Kim crying, Robert, Cindy and Thomas all wept with relief and happiness, crowding in around Kim, touching her, rubbing her arms, trying to shield her from anything else out there, real or imagined, that might still want her.

Their miracle reunion didn't last long. The unfinished business of making sure that Kim didn't suffer any further injury lay a head of them, and they were still 15 miles from shore. This would prove to be Kim's second overnight experience at a hospital. Tom had to wrestle control of the chair next to Kim's bed away from Robert, who seemed intent on remaining next to her for her entire stay, no matter what. After a brief, compassionate and tender conversation with his son, Tom convinced Robert that nothing was going to hurt his sister now, that she was safe. Robert tearfully relinquished control of the night watch to Tom. Her father slept fitfully in the chair next to her all night.

The memories were more than a flood for Kim, the deluge seemed to have no end. These memories triggered even more, unrelated memories, thousands upon thousands of them. It felt as if the wall, the protective barrier that had in a sense, kept her from remembering everything had formed a huge crack letting everything out at once.

Kim clearly remembered laying in the hospital bed, not sure what had happened, barely able to remember being dragged down deep into the ocean. She could still see her father there, sleeping or trying to sleep in the chair next to her bed, one large masculine hand resting close by on the mattress next to her. She had reached out and taken his index finger in her small hand, said "I love you so much Daddy." She also remembered thinking to herself that when she got older that she was going to ask him if he would marry her.

Kim was crying with loving memories of her father. He had never done anything so dramatic in her previous life. Truth be known, he had never needed to. She was touched by his heroism and his love for her. Kim could still remember the taste of saltwater in her mouth after her mother had finished telling that story.

Kim could also feel the abject terror she had felt that day as she was sinking deeper and deeper below the surface. There was no doubt in her mind that she, the person she was, however one identifies with the concept of self, that this had happened to HER, and not some stand-in living her life until a few weeks ago. She trembled with the memory of the experience. She knew she was still deathly afraid of the ocean because of it and never accepted any invitations to go boats. She closed her eyes against the memory and covered her hands with her face. One thought about that moment stood out beyond all the rest. She remembered the certainty of it; she was going to die that day. It had been an incredibly adult idea for such a small girl.

It had not come to her in an adult fashion though. She had thought of all the things she still wanted and couldn't have at that moment. How scary it was to know very basically that she would never get another kiss from her mother or father. That she would never have another birthday party, or play in the sprinkler in their yard on hot summer days. She had thought of chocolate ice cream and the toys in her room, and even the cat next door which she thought of as her very own.

The saddest part was looking up and, not seeing anyone coming for her, believing that no one would come at all.

But she had been wrong about that, hadn't she? Yes, she had because her father…

Go on, say it…

Kim suddenly stopped crying. She pulled her hands from her face and now, instead of pain or fear of memory, there seemed to be a look of distant confusion set upon her features. 'What am I suppose to say here?'

Don't play stupid with me…

'No really,' Kim answered herself, 'I don't know,'

But she felt she should know. It was already out there. It was a thing she did. It was a wish or maybe it was just a longing…

There was a strained silence between mother and daughter, and Kim understood that Cindy seemed to be waiting for something as well. 'It always happened whenever we talk about Dad. It always ends the same way doesn't it? It always ends with…I wish Dad were here now.'

THAT'S IT!

Sometimes it made Cindy cry, sometimes she would calmly agree and at other times she could become very moody or even angry at the suggestion. But Kim could not change that desire in herself or the destiny of the moment. These things were written in stone and must be said by little girls that miss their fathers. For the most part, Cindy understood this and had never tried to change it. Kim got the impression that her mother lacked self confidence to say it out loud herself. At those weak moments, the memory of Tom Glass could provoke a wide range of emotions in Cindy.

Without even knowing that the words were moving from her brain to her mouth, she began, "I wish…

The door of Robert's ICU unit creaked open and the nurse poked her head in.

"Dad was…" Something had changed; the air seemed thicker, laden with something awful and yet wildly grand. Kimberly's heart began to pound in her chest painfully and she imagined that everyone must be able to hear that thump, thump, thumping from inside her. Kim clutched at her sweater between her breasts and grimaced slightly at the discomfort until it passed. 'What in the hell? What's happening to me?' Beads of salty sweat began popping up on her brow and cheeks. 'I'm going to pass out,' she thought in amazement.

The nurse was speaking, but Kim was having trouble making out exactly what woman in hospital scrubs was saying. She seemed to be speaking in slow motion. "T_h_e_r_e's s_o_m_e_o_n_e h_e_r_e t_o s_e_e t_h_e h_e_r_o." said the nurse. With that, a single brown wingtip dress shoe, size 12, fell firmly, confidently to the floor. Attached to it was a cuffed trouser leg that angled up and back behind the door.

"… here…" Kim squeaked finishing her statement. She sat in the chair leaning forward slightly, hands still hanging from her sweater; staring slack jawed at the ghost before her. Her eyes glazed over and she began to hyperventilate as the wall holding back all of the hidden Kimmories flooded out, threatening to drown her in a torrent of emotions.

When the gates crashed open, breeching that crack that had felt to Kim the sum total of her experiences her eyes flashed with a single instance of blinding knowledge. Much of it she saw in a flash, much too fast to acknowledge with any certainty of its meaning, only to watch it vanish again. Only now, she knew where it was. The bridges had all been repaired. It had not pushed out Tim's memories, but were now part of the complete complement of who she was. She understood now exactly who Kim was in her total being.

One memory stayed. It glared at her in the harsh light of a little girls deepest terror. She knew the difference now. She knew who that shoe belonged to in an instant of time.

She could remember sitting in her parent's room watching as he packed. It was just months after her birthday party. He and her mother had not been able to resolve some problems they were having and … SHE had asked him to move out! Kim had hated both of them for a long time for that. Still, she had not been able to hate him completely. She wanted to. As she sat there watching him, trying to understand why he was leaving, she had wanted to hurt him as they had hurt her.

But she hadn't been able to. So instead, she helped him pack, choosing to spend as many precious minutes with him as possible.

Now Kim's breathing began to hitch in her chest. The scene in her head changed with violent speed. to some months before her birthday party, still months way from having to watch her father pack to move. In the here and now, Kim began to hyperventilate.

Kim could remember her father packed and ready to go on a trip… the one that would kill him, but know one knew that then. He was just doing what he always did, traveling for business. He was packed and ready to leave in just a few hours. Kim was sick, really sick, but she didn't want to tell her father because he kept taking her to the hospital when she got sick like this. By the time he was ready to leave, she was sweating. Her side hurt. It felt like it might burst open from the pain. In fact, it was almost more than she could bear. She had stumbled down stairs to say good bye before she couldn't manage it any longer. When she saw the way he looked at her, she knew, she was going to the hospital. At that point she no longer cared.

It had been her appendix. It had burst on the way to the emergency room. There was no memory after that, except waking up in a hospital bed, her fingers wrapped tightly around her hero's pinkie finger. He had smiled at her with relief and love, "You scared me Princess. I thought you were trying to leave me for a moment."

"Nope… I have to marry you some day," They had been the first words from her groggy mind. She smiled back at him even though she didn't really feel like it at the time. "Why aren't you on your binnus trip?" His face had gone ashen with that question. "What's wrong Daddy?"

"Cause you were so sick. I couldn't leave my Fairy Princess." In the present, Kim unknowingly began to rub the spot where the surgeons had removed the rancid remains of a useless organ. There was only a faint scar there, but it was something she was still self-conscious about to this day.

She could also see this man's eyes were wet. Her father never cried. Yet, here he was, fighting to keep from doing so before her.

Kim wouldn't find out until some years later that the plane he was supposed to have flown out on that night had…

"… crashed!" Kim whispered as Cindy stood to greet him passing in front of Kim without her daughter even noticing.

Thomas Glass stepped forward in to the room in full view. For a moment, her parents, as she had always remembered them, hugged. Each one carrying the weight of their concern on their faces and set deep within their eyes. 'Not dead?' she thought, 'No. Not dead, but…' It was the most complete thought she'd be able to form for a time. Nothing else came, no explanations, no ideas, there simply was no room in her mind, in her heart for any of that. She was full, body and soul, to the top with the most amazing elation she had ever felt in the whole of her existence.

She had not heard this man's voice in years. She had not smelled his cologne or heard the soft whisper of his leather shoes as they whisked along the carpet where he walked, confident steps of an accomplished man and father. Kim could feel her self becoming unglued. The bravery she had tried to display after Hurricane Kirk had blown into their lives was eroding under the need to be comforted by the only man who could do that with a single word or a loving glance of his eyes. All of a sudden, feeling vulnerable, feeling "fragile" was exactly what she thought she needed. Dropping the façade of bravery for her mother's sake now seemed Okay. Tom Glass would keep the wall from caving in on them.

These thoughts spun out in an endless train of ideas Kim could not see the end of in either direction. Her mother and father were talking in subdued tones as Tom was trying to make his way past Cindy to where Kim was now, unsteadily, beginning to stand and receive him.

He looked at her with sympathetic eyes that reflected the pain all parents feel when their children have come to ill fated means. "Princess…" He had spoken to her as he approached. This is not real. This is some horrible prank, a mirage that will vanish the moment I reach out to touch it. Kim moved silently toward him, small and slight compared to his well built muscular body. He had always been her six million dollar man, That's right, I'd forgotten how much he looks like Lee Majors, not so much in photos, but in real life they could be related.

"Are you Okay?" There was a tremor in his voice. He's struggling to keep his emotions in check. Can a mirage have emotions? The detail on her memories continued to come into sharper and sharper focus. All the little fatherly things men do with their daughters that their son's either have no interest in or don't want to share. 'Like how he used to dance with me, letting me ride the tops of his shoes while he stepped through the dance…'

"Oh no…" she whimpered, knowing now that she would not be successful in holding back the tears.

Tom was a large man, tall, stocky but well built and strong. Standing at six feet, three and a half inches, to Kim, he might as well have been a giant. As she grew nearer, sobbing openly, he crouched before her and she fell upon him, confident that no matter what, he would catch her and keep her safe.

Her sobs became loud and she tucked her face into the crook of his neck to quite them as best she could. As her body quaked with the force of her emotion, so did her father;'s. This is real... Oh my God, it's really real. It's safe to believe now. I can believe he's real right? Right? He's holding me isn't he? And still, the evidence of her senses had lied to her before and was not to be trusted.

"It's Okay Precious, I'm here. I'm home. I won't let anything happen to you." Kim clutched at her father viciously, unintentionally driving her shoulder into his adam's apple, straggling him in the process.

"Ba…" Tom croaked and gently tried to ease Kim's grip. This only caused her to panic and clutch tighter as she began to whimper in fear. "Baby…" Tom coughed, "Lord… GAGK!" he cried in a horse, strangled voice. "Help!"

"Honey," Cindy intervened. "You're choking your father, let go." Kim only held on tighter, shaking her head violently like a child on the first day of school realizing that she's being left with total strangers.

"Hurry…" Tom pleaded with watering eyes.

"I'm trying Tom, she's got a… Good God, Kim, let go."

"Passing… out…" Tom croaked. With that, Kim's grip finally loosened enough for Tom to take a breath. They remained there for a wordless moment, holding each other until Kim finally pulled away.

Tom's eyes were still watering from the death grip Kim had locked around his neck, "I hurt you…" she said, her voice filled with regret.

"No," Tom said and smiled. "Not a chance." He gently brushed the tears from her cheek with his thumbs and smiled. "How are you doing Princess?"

"I'm Okay, I'm fine now." She was unable to stop the tears that flooded from her.

"Hey, hey… come on," Tom said easing her head around with a gentle nudge of her chin. When he had her eyes once more locked on his face, he smiled again, "I've got ya. Remember me, Steve Austin right?" She was still in his arms, weightless as he struck a pose the T.V. Steve Austin might hold and said, "Na_na_na_na_na_na_na_na…. Sending Kim into gales of phlegm choked laughs and nodded sending her hair flouncing around her head.

Without rising, Tom turned to Cindy and asked, "So, what have the doctors said?"

"Not much. Medically, Kim's fine. She was the one Kirk was after though. He tried to rape her." Anger flashed briefly in Tom's eye, but he was able to remember who he was with and where he was in time to gather himself and push the anger down where it could do no harm.

"And Robert?"

Cindy choked back the tears as best she could, but turned away and said nothing. "He's going to live right?" Tom asked. Cindy nodded, still refusing to show her face directly. "But…"

"But," Cindy repeated, "There's always one of those isn't there?" Her sarcasm was harsh and bitter. "No matter what we do in life, there's always a conditional 'But'."

Tom tried to be patient, to hold his tongue in spite of the pressure and anxiety over the unknown of his son's condition. When he could stand it no longer, he asked, "Cindy, please?"

"His spinal cord is damaged. He has a broken neck." The words were hot and angry. They came from her, searing meteors from far away, speeding in to obliterate everything they crashed into along the way. Tom Glass reeled from their impact. He understood without explanation what an injury like that could mean for Robert. For a while, he couldn't speak. He let the words melt into his brain while Kim stroked his hair and tried as best she could to sooth him.

"Can I go in there?" Thomas asked.

"We have to clear that through the nurse. I'm sure you can." They walked out together, her fathers large mighty hand in the delicate small of Cindy's back. How many times have I seen that? How many times after watching them together have I wanted someone to touch me just like that, just to see how it makes me feel?" It was Kim's past she looked back on as if it had always been there. She no longer felt detached from those moments. With this hurdle vaulted, she was bound to the moments of her past as tightly as she had once been bound to Tim's.

Soon the two of them were in with their son. Speaking to him, touching him, stroking his hair where they could get past the halo. Kim watched, her heart pounding. Not deceased… she marveled. Divorced. Only divorced. I could have called him any time. I just didn't remember he was still alive. What an idiot!

Why hadn't she remembered this, that he was still alive? Something Robert had said flashed back to her, she's talking to you know who… Her mind had blocked this. Even when she had still thought of her father as dead, there had been no bridge to the accurate information, why? Perhaps it would have been too much to recall all at once. Maybe it was some sort of safety switch. If she'd known and been able to reverse the effects of the mask, would she have done so? Probably not. Was this the masks way of restoring the original balance? Kim found she didn't care. He was alive!

She tried to hear what they were saying, impatient now, that he was back in her life, to be with him. It was no use, the glass was too well insulated. One word came to mind.

Love.

She loved him so much, had missed him awfully when he had died. He had been connected to so much in both her lives and here he was, ALIVE! She twirled and fell gracefully to a chair behind her. The world had righted itself. "I'm never…"

She gasped and the words caught in her throat painfully.

"Oh GOD!" she cried as she rose slowly from the chair before the window. She couldn't go back, not ever. She couldn't kill her father. She couldn't put him back in that box in the ground.

She sunk to her knees before the window and watched her parents. Her mother gently touched the back of Tom's hand with hers, brooding over her child, their child. He looked at her and smiled. Kim could see him mouth the words, He's going to be fine.

Cindy smiled in that particular way she had when Kim could tell she was thinking about him. She answered as Kim knew she would. Kim even mouthed the words in sync with her mother, I'm glad you're here, as Kim let a single tear slip out in mourning for what she believed she had lost forever.

Once more one word came to mind.

That word was, Checkmate.