by Mark McDonald
Dancing On Daddy's Shoes - Chapter 8- Boy Trouble
Robert was waiting out front for his sister when Kirk and Kim emerged from the school hand in hand. Robert smiled at first, his brain either unable or unwilling to process the information before him. Kirk was smiling as broadly as Robert could ever remember seeing him. Kim didn't look all that happy.
He glanced down to adjust his radio when his brain said to him, Hold on there! He glanced up again and sure enough, there they were; his recently former best friend and his sister, walking together, holding hands, as if they were a couple. "Holy shit!" Robert mumbled under his breath and lept from his car.
"What in the hell is this?" he cried standing in the open door of his vehicle.
"Hey Bro." Kirk said cheerfully. "I told you, it was all just a big misunderstanding."
The confusion on her brother's face would have been laughable had it not been for the situation. "Kimmy, what's going on here?"
"What does it look it like Bobby?" Kim said as they passed her bother's car on their way to Kirk's car.
"But… But…" Robert stammered. His eyes trained in on something hanging around his sister's neck. "Is that Kirk's ring?" Kim glanced down, then back to her brother, but said nothing. "Kim!" Robert shouted and dashed off to catch up with them, slipping on the dry dirt and loose stones of the turn around.
Gaining his footing, he caught them just as Kim was closing the passenger side door of Kirk's car. "Wait," he cried, rapping his knuckle on the window. "Where are you going?"
Kim rolled down the window and looked up annoyed, "What?"
"What in the hell do you think you're doing?"
"We're going together, as in, going together…" Kim said a bit too bitterly for Robert's taste.
"I don't understand." Robert said totally confused. Kirk sat quietly his hands on the wheel and let Kim do the convincing for the moment.
"Well then, I appreciate that." Kim said flatly, offering no enlightenment to clear the fog.
"But…"
"It's not your choice Robert." Kim said. Her tone even more serious this time.
"Robert?" he questioned, his confusion now finding new depths. "Since when do you call me Robert?" It felt to him like Kim was trying to communicate some sort of cryptic message to him, but for the life of him, he couldn't think past that ring on Kim's chest.
"I'm only acting like a woman old enough to make her own decisions should act."
"Oh, so you're an adult now, is that it?" Robert asked, believing he was starting to understand.
"I didn't say that. Please don't put words in my mouth." Kim responded.
"Tell me something."
"I will if I can." Kim said almost pleasantly.
"Who am I talking to here, Kimberly Glass or Sybil Dorsett? Just last Friday you were saying what a fucking asshole this guy was, and I believed you!" Kim cringed and glanced at Kirk warily. Soon she was going to have two very angry men on either side of her unless she could get one of them to go away. She suspected Kirk wasn't going to go anywhere. For the moment she was stuck with him. Her brother on the other hand had the potential to be understanding, even if he didn't want to be.
"I changed my mind is all, is that so hard to understand? I was wrong, Okay? I've been wrong before, I'll be wrong again."
Robert glared at her, "Boy, you said a mouth full Kimmy."
"You don't have to be rude to me Robert." Kim said folding her arms over her chest, pouting.
"Oh boy." Robert groaned racking his fingers over his face, frustrated. "Okay," he said opening the car door. "Get out." Kim not only did not get out, she refused to acknowledge him. "Get out of the car Kim. Right now."
"I'm going home with Kirk."
"No you're not." Robert insisted,
"Hey man," Kirk finally jumped in, leaning over to look Robert in the face.
"You shut up!" Robert ordered. "There's something weird going on here and my sister isn't going anywhere with you until I find out what it is. You've done something or…" Robert trailed off. What was it Kirk could have done? Robert couldn't think of a thing that would turn someone's free will around the way he was seeing. "If I find out you're screwing around with my sister's head here, I can guarantee you will not like what happens next."
"Is this how you're going to be when we're brother's-in-law."
"BROTHER'S IN WHAT?" Robert cried, turning back to his sister almost desperately. "Kim, please… get out of the car."
Kim lowered her eyes for a moment, unfolded her hands and sat motionless for a moment, each of the men on either side waiting for a decision. She lifted her hand and rested it gently on Roberts arm. "I'm staying here with Kirk. I have to."
Kim's brother stood looking at her. He was obviously hurt, confused and didn't know what to do. At last he shut the door. "Fine," he said with terrible finality. "Don't come to me with your problems with this guy. He's your's now, he's your problem. You want to go off and get pregnant by him, fine by me." She didn't believe that her brother thought for a second that anything of the sort was actually going to happen. The words were a tool. A quite effective one, Kim admitted. They cut as deeply as any surgical steel could have. "I can't protect you from Mom, you know that. Having said that, I'm not going to get in her way either. If you manage to somehow get Mom to let go, then you'll be on your own with this guy, whatever that means for you down the road. I won't help you."
Kim wanted to cry. She was strong however and held a grim but determined face. In the doors rearview mirror she watched her brother turn his back and walk away. Don't be mad Bobby, please… If you knew, you'd understand.
Robert walked calmly back to his car, started the engine and drove away. This is a disaster.
"What an asshole!" Kirk said.
"Shut up." Kim snapped.
"Hey, don't you ¾"
Kim threw her hand up in front of his face, "No, don't you do it. I said I'd be good, I didn't say I'd sit here while you insult me or my family. I did what you wanted. I'm here. And it looks like I don't have anywhere else to go now, so you win. But if you think you're going to be rude to me, embarrass me or be a shit? Uh un, no, that's not going to happen."
"Sure thing," Kirk said unsure of himself. "Why would I do that?"
"You just did by calling my brother an asshole. So don't play dumb with me. You're the alpha male, Okay, I get it. But that doesn't mean you have to be an asshole too."
Kirk turned away from her, his face held a petulant child's pout. Kim understood she had gone too far long before he finally reacted. "You know, you told me earlier that you weren't negotiating with me. Maybe you thought I wanted you with me to change me, to make me some sort of idea of a 'better person.' If that's the case you're wrong. See, I deserve someone like you. I deserve to have what I want. And what I want is for you to behave like the mild little house mouse I want you to be. You and I are going to be together for a long time Kim. I can be as nice or as hard as you let me be." He turned to her and she was horrified to see that his eyes were almost as colorless as black marbles. "Don't ever tell me how to behave again. Don't tell me how to treat you or anyone else. Don't TELL me anything. You can ask. It would help you to learn to ask nicely."
Suddenly Kim's mind turned to what her brother had said only moments ago. What if he meant it? He seemed so determined to shut her off when he pulled away. She couldn't help but wonder if this too had been played by Kirk. If so, he had played it expertly.
Without much choice, Kim folded her hands demurely and said, "I understand. I'm sorry Kirk." She did not look at him as she spoke and Kirk didn't seem to mind, thank God. She stared at her hands, fidgeting as she said the words that seemed to burn in her mouth. "Don't do anything to Ben. I'll get better at this, if you could please just be patient with me."
She finally looked at him and the smile that formed on his face was one that made Kim's blood run cold. "You're forgiven Princess," he said. "Come here."
Oh nooooooo! She wanted to scream it, but she couldn't. Not yet, maybe not ever. She couldn't bear to think of poor little Ben suffering at this monster's hands. Much better that she have to deal with him than Ben. At least her suffering would only be emotional torture. Otherwise Ben wouldn't live-out the week. Kim leaned over and Kirk met her halfway over the console. Kirk's hand slipped behind her neck and drew her close to him until their lips met.
If she had not hated being Kim before, she hated it now. Her passion for that hate only grew as Kirk wormed his tongue into her mouth, forcing her to open it and let his squirming mouth serpent in. He held her there for several minutes. As they kissed, she could hear several people passing the car whoop and call out. A few applauded. In their world things had been set right. There was no doubt in Kim's mind that there were already rumors of a Home Coming King and Queen ballot with their names on it for that game in two weeks. They would be crowned prom King and Queen as well, if for some reason she found herself on his arm for the prom. How would she escape Kirk if she were forced to stay here like this?
Gesturing as if she needed to catch her breath, Kim finally broke away first. "We should probably head home, don't you think?"
Kirk has other ideas, "We could go grab a soda and some fries at The Gameline."
"My Mom isn't going to be happy about this Kirk. It might be better, easier, if I explain this to her a little at a time." Kim said, then added, "Less hassle for you."
"I could talk to her."
"Could I try first please? I think she'll be more understanding if I ease her into this. I'm not even supposed to be dating anyone yet, not unescorted anyway."
"Yeah, I know, but she'll change her mind when she find's out that you and I are finally together." Kirk's confidence was dwarfed only by his ego. He was lucky her mother didn't own a gun.
Whatever; you over-controlling, arrogant asshole! Kim thought, she smiled in response but the smile felt as though it probably looked fake. The two of them sped off out of the parking lot toward Kim's house.
When the arrived, Kim found Kirk expected a long wet one before he allowed her to leave. She capitulated but was rapidly running out of patience for his groping and feeling of her chest and legs, which had happened at random opportunities on the way home. "I'll pick up you tomorrow morning," he told her before she stepped out.
"Could we wait a couple of days before you do that? Mom is going to be here in the morning and…"
"Kim, you're not going to talk to her tonight about us?"
"Remember? It would be better if I could just ease her into the idea Kirk. She's stubborn. She worries about me. They've spent all their time protecting me from God knows what, it's kind of like their job. You're asking me to tell them they don't have a job any more."
"I'm here to protect you now, what more do you need?"
How about a Dixie cup full of poisoned grape juice? Kim flashed her fake smile again and avoided the question. "Can you give me that time Kirk?"
Kirk sat back disappointed. He seemed to seriously mull the question over and finally turned with a smile that she was certain he felt spoke of his generosity, "I suppose that's Okay. But just a couple of days Kim, we have our lives to live now. I'm eager to get started."
Ugh! It sounds like he want's to start having kids next week. What in the hell am I doing? "Thanks," was all she said. She turned and walked to the house slowly. Robert's car was in the driveway, an ominous sign. It was not a confrontation she was looking forward too. It was coming anyway. Robert she could handle, it was her mother that really worried her.
From his open window, Kirk called out after her, "Hey Kimmy, you should wear that uniform everyday. You look cute in it."
She slumped, deflated and muttered, "Why am I not surprised?"
Behind her she could sense Kirk's eyes on her ass. She prayed that her ass would simply burst into flames as she had envisioned earlier and burn completely off. She suppressed a smile at the thought, He wouldn't want me so badly then would he? - Holy Shit! Kim, what happened to your ass? It's… It's GONE! - Yeah, sorry Kirk, it burned up and fell off, you still love me right?
"If only." Kim groused. Finally the engine of Kirk's car roared into life and squealed away down the street. She was certain that he had wanted her to turn and waive, smiling sweetly. "Yeah, go beat your meat Kirk."
To her surprise, Robert was not in the house. He appeared, ambush style from the garage. He crossed the yard on an intercept course with his sister's path, "Kim…"
"Not now Bobby," Kim said holding up her hand, continuing to trudge single-mindedly to the house.
"Yes, now." Her brother demanded. At least he was still concerned enough to order her around. For Kim, it was a promising sign. "What was all that about? And did I just see you kissing Kirk?"
"Oh," Kim said not daring to look at him. "It's worse than that Bobby. I think I'm probably engaged! Now if you'll leave me alone, I need to find a pistol." She marched past him, furious.
"A… did you say a pistol?" It was enough to stop him dead in his tracks. "What in God's name do you need a pistol for?" he called after her.
"Well," she answered without turning around or stopping, "since we don't have any sleeping pills in the house, I figure that's gotta be the next best thing." she called back before she disappeared inside the house slamming the door behind her.
-*-
Kim didn't tell her mother about Kirk. She hoped her brother would. It just seemed too hard to actually start the conversation. If it was just out there with no choice about whether or not it got talked about, then she could defend herself. Starting it off, admitting to it just felt too difficult to do. Robert however, had noting to say apart from innuendo and vague suggestion. They had an almost silent, tense supper. Cindy tried to start conversation several times, asking the obvious ice breakers, "So, how did school go?"
Robert was the first to answer that question with another question. "Yes Kim, I was wondering the same thing." He had dropped his fork on his plate with a loud clank and propped his chin on his fists as if to listen intently. Fortunately, the noise was enough of a distraction to make Cindy forget about the question. She instead chided her son for rude table manners.
Dinner passed as did a very still TV hour before bed. Kim retired to her room and tried to complete her homework assignments, using the work to distract her from a situation she had no idea how to solve. The sticking point was Ben, how to avoid Kirk without getting Ben wedged in between. None of this solved her problem of getting to the prom. Kim was afraid that Ben wasn't going to come with in a thousand miles of her after this. Taking her to a dance, a school at that probably wasn't even a remote possibility at this point. Oh yeah, her chances of going home were down to nearly nothing at this point.
Kim stopped herself several times and asked for forgiveness from whatever forces that were driving her life now. It wasn't about going home anymore. She had a home, a good home. If she was going to have to live her life out as a girl and eventually as a woman, well, there were worse things weren't there? This was about Ben and what had happened to his life. She had to reminder self yet again of what she had and not focus on what she thought she'd lost. Her life was actually better now, or rather, it had been before Kirk muscled his way into a relationship with her.
Yet, she couldn't shake the notion that everything thing she had invested in herself as Tim was tied to the idea of identity. That identity was tied to Tim's gender. No matter how used to being Kim she got, no matter how good her life got, she felt she would never be able to tie her identity to this body. It was alien to her, even though she knew that she'd had it for sixteen years now. The Wizard had been right about one thing, she was more than likely stuck with it now.
Her mind kept turning away from Ben and what she saw as the true core problem, her gender. She just wanted it all to be done. Whatever was going to happen, then just let it happen. But please God, let it happen soon, before she went insane. She had the crazy notion of promising herself out loud that Kim Glass was going to marry Ben Ackerman but fell short of actually following through. She couldn't slam the door herself. If it closed in her face on its own, as it probably would, then Okay, she'd deal with it at that point but she wouldn't close it herself. There was still a chance. That chance didn't belong to just her, it belonged to Ben too. There was a much better life on the other side of this for him as well.
But how much of that was concern for Ben and how much of it was selfishness? It was a hard question to answer. Kim suddenly needed the answer to be an honorable one, not just honest.
"Ahhhhhh," she cried out, no longer able to take the stress of the issue. "Jesus, do all girls obsess like this?" Again, it was a question she couldn't answer. Judging from her mother's behavior, it seemed at the very least it ran in the family.
Her lack of concentration was broken still further by a knock at the door, "It's open," she called out.
When the door opened the repentant face of her brother peeked in between the crack. "You're not on the toilet are you?"
"Very funny," Kim quipped, "Come on in. I'm just trying to do some homework."
"I can come back."
"But you don't want to." Kim finished for him.
"Well, no, that is if you want the truth." Kim gestured with a sideways nod of her head and Robert came in and closed the door.
"Where's Mom?"
"Down stairs on the phone with you know who." Kim didn't know who, nor did she care. "She's worried again." Robert informed her, "Frankly so am I."
"Welcome to the club." Kim said sarcastically.
"So something is wrong?"
"Duh!" Kim barked and was sorry the minute it was out. "I'm sorry Bobby."
"Oh, so it's Bobby again."
Kim blushed at the reminder of the way she had treated her brother earlier that day. "I was trying to slip you a message," Kim explained. Her tone was defensive and she fought to bring it into check. "I guess I did a lousy job, huh?"
"No, I got the message. I just didn't know what it said. Try English next time. I can read that." He waited and could tell Kim didn't want to volunteer the information. She was afraid to start the snowball down the hill. All too often one could get run over by that juggernaut just for standing around looking stupid. He had to ask, "So why don't you tell me now?"
Kim's face broke into a million pieces, "Oh Bobby…"
Robert was caught off guard by the sudden reversal in emotions. At first he didn't know what to do. He went to her; cautiously extended his arms and she fell into them. "Okay… it's Okay…"
"No it's not. Kirk… that bastard. He ambushed me today. He tried to order me to tell Ben to go away and leave me alone."
"Ambushed?"
"Pinned me to the ground on the P.E. field. I was out there, you know, going over my notes from practice."
"Ah, in your peaceful place."
"Yeah, anyway he just showed up. He stepped on my skirt and held me there. Then he started threatening to hurt Ben if I didn't tell him I didn't want to see him any more."
"I told you there'd be problems."
Kim broke free of his embrace. "No you didn't. You said you thought he loved me, which is a load of horse shit anyway. The only person Kirk cares about is Kirk."
"What did he say?"
"He said he loves me."
"Well I hate to say it…" Robert said knowingly.
"Don't, Okay Bobby. Don't say it."
"Well I did." Robert defended himself, not seeing the real issue yet.
"Bobby! He can't abuse someone else to get to me! What's wrong with you? You can't just dismiss this by saying 'See?' This is a big problem. Never mind the fact that Kirk only said that because he things girls want to hear it. Like they'll just fall down at his feet if he says the magic words, 'I love you.'"
"Gee, I wonder where he got that idea?"
Kim raked her sleeve across her nose and sniffled. "Okay, forget the rest of the cheerleading team. Forget the fact that Kirk's an idiot. They did a Lindsay on him today."
"What, on Ben?"
"Right in front of me Bobby. I mean, I've heard of it but I've never actually seen him do it to anyone. It was terrible. He and Jimmy did it on Kirk's orders. It was like watching a Mafia hit."
Robert looked around and found Kim's vanity chair and sat down in it. The small chair creaked under his weight but held. "Jesus. Lindsay used to do that to guys on the line when he could. It always looks like an accident and the other guys are down one starter. I saw it a couple of times, it's very efficient. He did that to little Ben?"
Kim nodded grimly, "Oh, that's not even the end. He told me that if I didn't take his fucking ring," Kim held the ring up that was still chained around her neck, and then tossed it back down on her chest, "Ben would keep getting hurt. I took a shower a little while ago and was too afraid to take the damn thing off. It was only a miracle that I was able to hide this stupid thing from Mom tonight."
Holding out his hand, Robert said, "Give it to me. I'll shove it right up his ass."
Kim clutched at the ring, protecting it. She shook her head furiously, "No," she gasped weeping. "If I don't show up as school with this, too much can go wrong. Ben could get really badly hurt."
"So you keep wearing it?"
"I have to. I'm his fucking girl friend." Kim threw her arms up and then down again in frustration. She began to pace back and forth.
"Okay, hold it down or Mom will be up here before you know it."
"I don't know what to do Bobby. Ben's just a sweet little guy. His father kicks his ass every night and he just keeps on going. He wants something better Bobby, he always has. But, Jesus, everyone keeps shitting on him."
"Has Ben become a personal cause for you or something?" Robert asked. Kim froze in her tracks. She turned on her brother who stood from the vanity chair and took two rather large steps in the opposite direction, "Hold on Kim, I didn't mean anything by that."
"Yes you did. Don't lie to me Bobby, I've always been able to tell when you're lying. It's not Okay that Kirk can take someone I care about and beat the hell out of them to make me do what he wants. Hell Bobby. Take me out of the equation. Ben deserves better. They call what Ben's been through child abuse and no one does anything about it. You remember what Dad did to his in the front yard? That happened because of me, not Ben. Poor Ben ran away because he knew what was coming. He was scared to death of his Dad. Imagine living like that day after day after day."
Robert felt an unexpected and overwhelming wave of grief wash over him, "Kim, I…"
"Shut up Bobby! Just shut up and listen. Ben isn't a cause. He's a human being. He wants the same things you and I want, what everyone wants. He wants to eat for God's sake. He goes to school every day and gets more of what his father dishes out every night. How's that for a cause?"
"Kim…"
"No. I'm not listening to you. I'll do this as long as I have to because Kirk promised to protect Ben. This is bigger than Kirk blackmailing me. It's about Ben getting a little justice for once. I just… I… I just don't have to like it, that's all."
Robert sat for a moment, stunned and silent. After a few minutes, Kim sat on the edge of her bed and watched him. "Whatchya thinking?" she finally asked him.
"That I'm a bigger asshole than Kirk is," he said, his feelings hurt by the admission.
Kim barked snotty laughter through her tears, "No one's a bigger asshole than Kirk," she replied.
The both fell into an uneasy quiet for a bit. At length she said, "So I'm Kirk's girlfriend." Kim shrugged, "I mean, how bad could it be right?"
"Except that you hate him."
"With every cell in my body," Kim confirmed.
"Then you can't be his girlfriend."
Kim's face tightened as though she might start crying again. "I don't have any choice. He'll get to Ben if I break it off. Will you listen to me? I'm stuck as Kirk's girlfriend. Oh my God! What is happening?" Kim began to hyperventilate. It took all the self control she could muster to keep from passing out.
"Calm down," Robert said.
"I can't… I can't…" Kim said taking deep breaths, "I can't breathe."
"Here," Robert said looking around. He found a small plastic bag that had some school papers in it and emptied it out. "Breathe in this."
"Pa… Pa…" Kim stammered.
"I know it's not paper, but it'll do. Increase your carbon dioxide levels and it'll stop."
Kim began huffing into the bag. When her breath returned she sat back, grateful for air. Robert told her, "Mom is going to find out."
"I know. He wanted to pick me up tomorrow morning. I asked him to give me a couple of days to break the news to her. What am I going to do?"
Robert thought for a moment. He then said, "Let him."
"What? Are you crazy. She'll kill him…" Robert opened his eyes knowingly and smiled. "It won't work, he'll still get to Ben."
"Not once I get finished with him."
"I don't know. My way seems easier," Kim said considering the options. "What happens after he leaves here?"
"Let me worry about that, you just call him, tell him you've changed your mind and you'd love for him to pick you up in the morning. After that, I'm going to step in… if I can get around Mom that is."
It took about twenty minutes of coaxing to get her to call Kirk, but she did. Her hands were shaking the entire time. So bad in fact that she misdialed Kirk's number twice. Robert could only remember Kim ever having been this scared once, and that had been his fault. It was devastating for Robert to see. He hated to see her so terrified and it made Robert boil in rage at what Kirk had done.
Kirk, on the other hand, couldn't have been happier, even going as far as telling Kim to come to dinner at his house after school. Kirk ended the conversation by telling her "I love you Baby." Kim did not reciprocate, she only said, "See you tomorrow," and hung up the phone.
Later on she lay awake in bed, worrying. There was much to worry about. Tomorrow might end badly. There was no way for her to protect everything in the balance. If the House of Glass landed on her should it fall, then she would have to do as the Wizard told her and move on. The problem was it was bound to fall on a lot of other's too. That would make her responsible for all that devastation. She wondered dreadfully if she could live with that.
-*-
When Kim came down, again dressed in her cheerleading uniform as Kirk had requested, Cindy didn't question it. There had been many times when Kim was required by some school function to wear her uniform for several days at a stretch. Since the end of school was fast approaching, Cindy simply assumed that there was yet some other closing ceremony that in which she needed to represent the athletic department. Cindy did not notice the rather large ring hanging from a gold chain around Kim's neck.
Kirk was there the next morning, happily trotting toward the door as Cindy opened it to send her daughter off to school. Kim was the first to see him marching up the flagstone walkway. Her face sagged in dread as he approached. Her mother craned her head around to see what it was that had affected her daughter so and saw something that should not have been there.
The quizzical look on Cindy's face when she noticed the colossal bulk of Kirk loping up their front yard was enough to cause Kirk to falter just a step or two out of uncertainty. Believing the open door was his invitation to come in, he traipsed in smiling. He intended to 'notify' Cindy that Kim would be home late, she had been invited to dinner at his house and would be staying to watch a movie.
When Kirk announced their (his) plans in a fashion that said to Cindy, like it or lump it lady, Cindy responded, hands on hips, "I beg your pardon, young man?" This caught Kirk off guard. No one spoke to him this way, not even his own parents. Kirk was used to telling and getting and not being questioned. It had been that way all his life.
"I said…"
"I heard what you said Kirk. I bet you don't talk to your parents..." Cindy started but Kirk was in a hurry and decided he'd heard enough.
"Sure I do, Cindy."
"Mrs. Glass to you," Cindy insisted.
"Since when…" Kirk wanted to know. In his mind they were almost related.
Cindy looked at her wrist watch, then soberly back to Kirk, "Since right now."
"But I…" Kirk began but Cindy cut him off.
"You are a smart-aleck and unless I woke up on a different planet this morning, I'm still Kimberly's mother and I'm the one responsible for her until she's 21. And since I'm the one footing the bills and providing a roof over her head, I'll tell Kimberly what's best and when and where she does things."
"Ah…"
"Don't Ah me Kirk. This is not open to discussion. Kim is not allowed to be with boys alone. Period!"
"That's not…" Kirk barked angrily.
"That's not going to happen, Kirk. Frankly I don't trust you, I never have…" Kimberly had a difficult time sequestering the wild laughter that wanted to escape from inside her. Just keeping a smirk off her face was struggle enough, she didn't need to start laughing at him too.
"Look Cin… Mrs. Glass, Kim is a big girl. We're together now and I'm perfectly capable of taking care of her…"
"Together?" Cindy cried in outrage. "What do you mean, together?" It was then Cindy saw the ring. "What's this?"
Kim glanced down at the ring and simply said, "It's Kirk's"
"Give it to me." Cindy said extending her hand.
When Kim reached behind her neck to unclasp it, Kirk stepped between Cindy and her daughter, "No. I told her she wasn't to take it off."
Cindy's eyes flew open in shocked surprise. "You TOLD her? You ORDERED her not to take off your ring? You ordered MY child to wear your school ring Kirk? Is that what I'm hearing you say?" She didn't wait for an answer. She really didn't want one from Kirk anyway. She pushed Kirk aside and looked at Kimberly. "What's going on here Kim?"
"I told you Cindy. Kim and I are a couple now."
Cindy stared gape-mouthed at Kim. Kim could not meet her mother's intense stare, she could only nod shamefully. It took a few seconds for Cindy to recover from Kirk's rude manipulation of Kim's reply. When she did however, Cindy screamed at Kirk, "DID I ASK YOU?"
"Huh?" Kirk responded taking a large step backward.
Angrily, Cindy continued, "You don't EVER cut my daughter off like that. She's not your pet Kirk. You will show my daughter and myself the respect we deserved by shutting your God damned mouth right now!"
She then turned back to Kim, fighting to control her anger, "Take it off Kim, do it right now." Kim proceeded as ordered.
"Don't you do it Kim or you know what will happen." Kirk countered and Kim obediently dropped her hands.
"What's going to happen?" Cindy asked now confused. Behind them Robert appeared at the open door, boxing Kirk in, blocking the front door and the yard beyond.
"Yeah Kirk," Robert said startling Kirk, "Tell us, what's going to happen?" Robert folded his arms over his chest and leaned nonchalantly against the frame of the open door.
"I don't think that's important to you," he said to Robert. Turning to Cindy, he continued, "or to you. What's important is that Kim assured me she would be a good girl and I'd made Kim a promise that I would do something for her in return."
"Translation:" Robert announced, "It means Mom, that Jerk here had Ben's finger dislocated by one of his flunkies on the football team. He did it and made Kim watch." Cindy's face became a mask of revulsion at the news. She looked from Kirk to Kim searching for the truth and founding in the watering eyes of her daughter. "He told Kim that Ben would become a target of a lot of pain if she didn't agree to become Kirk's girlfriend and drop Ben as a friend."
"Why would you do that?" Cindy whispered at Kirk in disbelief.
"Ackerman doesn't deserve your daughter. I on the other hand have a lot to offer her. Look at it as a service. I saved your-"
Cindy cut Kirk off, revolted by his presence. "Shut up Kirk, get out of my house. I don't want you to even speak to my daughter again." Kirk bristled as if to suggest he was about to challenge her when Cindy, nearly a full foot shorter than Kirk took the first step forward. Taken by surprise, Kirk stepped back.
"No you don't Kirk, you will not intimidate me." She shoved her index finger into Kirk's chest, much the same way her son had four mornings ago. Kim began to worry. In her estimation, Kirk was only mildly unstable. That didn't mean that he possessed the ability to remain only mildly unstable. She believed that if he wanted something, he would stop at nothing to get it.
Kim watched as Kirk's face clouded over like a violent storm blowing from the west, carrying the promise of tornados with it. Kirk did step forward this time and it was Cindy who was surprise by Kirk's imposing size. Now she stepped back two steps to stay out of his reach. Kirk balled up his mighty fist and cocked it. Mrs… Glass," he said deliberately, "Kim and I ¾"
Robert finished Kirk's sentence for him, " ¾aren't going to be seeing each other any more. I'm dropping her off and picking her up from school again, everyday Kirk." From the look on her mother's face, Cindy was not entirely ungrateful either. Nor did she seem to mind him taking the reigns this time, Robert pushed Kirk back and Kirk deflated right away.
Robert was big, really big! He had a two inch reach although Kirk probably outweighed him by thirty pounds maybe more. Robert was no slouch though. He was lean and muscular, every bit the athlete any athlete would want to be. A powerful quarterback, Robert had been actively hunted and sought after by sixteen major universities. Sports analysts already had him pegged as the man to watch to win the Heisman Trophy. One pro team, The Atlanta Falcons had even tried to lure him into the pro camps before college. Robert was, as most in school put it, a fucking badass. Kirk knew it too. It was exactly the situation that Kim feared most. Kirk was now cornered.
Kim was once more trying to remove the chain around her neck. This time however, she didn't need any prompting from her family. The ring and chain fell away into her hand and she let the whole thing fall to the floor. She said nothing however. The gesture was provocative enough not to have to add words. Kim stepped back away from the hotspot that was the foyer wanting to be clear of the explosion when it happened.
Cindy picked up the ring and the chain, took Kirk's right hand and put the thing in his palm, curling his fingers around it. "Get out."
Kirk looked stupidly at the ring in his hand. His face became pinched and his eyes narrowed in anger. He drew his hand back and he heaved the heavy ring at Robert's face. "NOOOOOOOO," Kirk cried as he unleashed the ring. "She's MINE!"
Robert spun around faster than a lightening bolt and grabbed Kirk by the throat and pressed him to the wall. It was Robert's turn to grit his teeth. "Be careful now ole buddy, that's my sister not your plaything or your private cheerleading squad. She's not your nasty, your snatch, old lady or even just plain yours. She's just a person Kirk, a kid, a sixteen year old. Not something you can manipulate through threats because you're bigger than she is." Robert pulled Kirk off the wall, lifting him completely off the ground and slammed him back into the wall again for emphasis, "She's a human being, and I love her."
Kirk struggled loose in a brief scuffle, but Robert quickly had him restrained again. Kirk turned his head to Kim, "The toad is fucking dea…" Kirk suddenly stopped talking. He began gurgling and turning red at first, then purple. Distracted now, Kim had time to think, 'That's a neat trick. Kirk Oswalter, the human chameleon.'
"Kirk, your football scholarship is showing. If I see or hear of anyone taking a hit from you or any of your team fucks over there, I can guarantee that you'll be happy to be able to earn a living tossing French fries when I'm done with your fucking future. You will never play football for money, Ever!"
"Fuck you!" Kirk shouted with a strangled spat. "I choose who I want to have, not yoooooooo," Kirk's voice trailed off in a hiss, like a leaking beach ball, as Robert pressed into Kirk's chest with is arm.
"You're leaving this house, standing up or feet first on a gurney. You make that choice. The choice I'm making for you is that you're going to leave Kimberly and Ben alone. "
Robert let Kirk up and opened the door for him. "Get out."
Kirk took his time getting out. Robert held as Kirk passed, glaring at him. In the street beyond, a Mathers School bus, loaded with students had stopped to pick up five other students for school. Robert had just about enough of Kirk's glaring and as soon as Kirk turned his head and noticed the school bus, Robert shoved Kirk out the door with a firm foot to the back.
Kirk went sprawling onto the porch, pin wheeling his arms for balance. He hit the boards of the porch with his face, hard. A loose nail head caught his letterman's jacket and tore it down the left side. He landed in a heap, a pile of dirty laundry and flesh as the door slammed. Before it closed, Robert could hear the laughter at Kirk's expense from the kids on the bus through the open windows.
He turned to his mother and sister, "Everyone Okay, Kim," Kim nodded but said nothing. Robert turned to Cindy, "Mom?"
Cindy nodded, yes she was fine. Then in her accustom style, she said, "I had that Robert."
Outside the door, Kirk roared in outrage, punctuating Cindy's statement with the truth that she had truly underestimated her power but was too proud to say so. There where hollow footfalls on the planks of the porch as he stormed off, presumably toward his car.
Robert's face was set and sober when he replied, "Yes Mom," acknowledging his mother's authority, "I know you did." He said nothing more to his mother about her competency. The battle had been brief and Team Glass had persevered. What difference did it make who the hero was? Cindy didn't let it go however.
Cindy said humbly, "Thank you, Bobby." Her face was flushed and she was close to crying. It was something Kim had never seen before, either as Tim or as Kim. Two life spans of sixteen years and this was the first time she had ever seen her mother this close to breaking down. Even when their father had been reported killed, Cindy had been strong for the rest of them, crying in the darkness of the bedroom she had once shared with him.
Robert put his arms around his mother and held her. She had the shakes and Robert soothed her with quiet tones and soft words until she had her composure back.
"If your father were here… he'd," Cindy began.
Robert stopped her, "He's not though. Believe me, I'm happy to fill in for him in this capacity." Cindy stroked his face and smiled. Robert held his index finger up to his mouth and whispered, "Shush."
Kim watched, shaking some in her own right. When the comforting was over, Cindy turned to Kim as he comforted his mother, "You want to tell me what happened?"
"Not particularly, but I will I guess." Kim paused for just a moment, "Will you promise me something first though?"
"I'll try," her mother responded warmly.
"Try not to be too mad at me. I was only trying to do what I thought was right."
"I'll keep that in mind."
True to her word, Cindy remained calm as he listened, though it was a struggle at times. Kim, animated as ever, cried intermittently as she recalled her fear and her inability to react to it, concerned about setting Kirk off. They both let Kim take the stage, her own one woman testimonial show. They watched as she would expound on things with great gestures of her body as if she were acting out the scenes of a play they'd all missed.
Cindy sat next to Robert at his silent insistence. He watched his mother out of the corner of her eye. When it became evident that Cindy was loosing her fight at composure, he would gently distracting her with a touch of his hand on the back of hers. Robert had established a place of dominance in his mother's house with his protection of his family. His mother had no choice but to respect it.
When Kim was finished, Robert stood and hugged his exhausted sister, supporting her while she came to grips with all the mistakes (as she saw them), she had made and now had been forced to admit.
"Did he hurt you?" Cindy asked. It was an element left out of her description, either omitted out of fear or because it hadn't happened. The implication of what 'hurt' meant was clearly understood to Kim, she shook her head. Robert and Cindy were both relieved.
Cindy motioned to the Kitchen, "I'm going to call the police."
Robert gently grabbed her arm, "Hold on Mom."
"I will not 'hold on' Robert Lee; and I'll thank you to take your hand off my arm. Kim has been assaulted and…"
"No she wasn't, unless you call a kiss assault."
"It felt like assault." Kimberly said glumly.
"I suppose it was, but I doubt the police will see it the same way. Frankly, I doubt the school will too. If they back Kim, they're staring down the barrel of a law suit. I think they'll try to protect themselves against that."
"And what about Ben Ackerman?" Cindy asked, "I supposed that wasn't assault either."
"That was assault, but Kirk didn't do it, Lindsay did. We could report that, but I don't expect anyone would believe you either. You didn't see it…"
"Kimberly did!" Cindy cried.
"Yeah, I did," Kim parroted.
Cindy just seemed to get more upset with every point. "I don't care Robert; he injured one child and threatened Kim for Christ's Sake. I'm supposed to believe that he's safe now because you roughed him up and scared him away?"
"I don't even think I've done that Mom. I do believe he won't bother Kim now though and…"
Kim interrupted, "What about Ben?"
"Hard to say Kim," Robert admitted.
"I'm sorry about Ben," Cindy tried to console her daughter; "We'll call his Mother and let her know he might be in the way of a runaway steamroller. My interests lie with you and your safety right now."
Robert broke in again, "Then don't send her to school today," Kim let out an exasperated breath, and her brother turned on her, "You want to go? Do you really want to go there, because he'll probably there, in spite of what happened? Mom's right, keeping you away from him is probably the safest bet."
Kim could only stare back in shocked, doe-eyed innocence and shake her head. "But Bobby, you said Ben would be Okay!"
Speaking to his mother, Robert continued, "I'll go to school and get her assignments for the couple of weeks. She can work here or with me if you want, at work. I'll have a nice long talk with Coach Monte while I'm there, a nice private one about our mutual friend and his issues. I'll make sure they know about Ben too. If I give them a chance to save face, I think I can convince them to take a larger stake in his future."
Kim had begun hopping about with Robert suggestion that she stay home for a couple of weeks, "Mom! No way, I don't want to go to work with Bobby. I don't even want to stay home for that long." Kim could feel the walls closing in on her. She needed opportunities, not walls between her and those chances to go home. She still wanted a possibility, even if she couldn't manipulate everything to make it happen, she found she still didn't want to be a girl.
Cindy agreed with Robert however, "No Honey, it's a good plan." Kim turned and kicked the closet door in the living room closed, mildly hurting her toe, then fidgeted with her uniform skirt hem. Cindy glared at Kim, "Watch it young lady," Kim turned her back on her mother and characteristically stuck out her bottom lip and pouted.
Robert smiled, "When did she turn into the bookworm?"
Cindy smiled, "Believe it or not, your sister is nearly at a 4.0 grade average,"
Her brother grabbed her by the shoulders and rocked her back and forth happily, "All right Kim! I knew there was a brain in there somewhere…"
"Okay, Okay," Kim complained, "If you keep shaking me like that brain you're so suddenly proud of is going to start oozing out my ears. Lets' just go and get this over with please."
-*-
The Dean of Boys was only too happy to provide the work for her after being informed of the confrontation earlier with Kirk at the Glass home. Dean Hill and Coach Monte had done everything but plead with Robert to allow them to handle the situation, they tried to convince him that Kirk had the potential to be a good kid and that they were certain that he was a product from his home environment that had never taught him the limitations of personal and moral boundaries.
Robert told them he was happy to let them handle it… until Kirk made one more attempt to blackmail his sister or hurt another student, like Ben Ackerman for instance. Then it would become a matter for the authorities. He also warned them that if they didn't take some sort of decisive action that would have a direct impact on Kirk's attitude and behavior, he couldn't guarantee that his mother wouldn't or hadn't already called the police. This left both Coach Monte and Dean Hill staring stupidly at each other without much to say.
Robert also reminded them that since they had been informed, it wouldn't look good if they just sat on their thumbs and waited for things to right themselves.
Robert had left them both silent as he gathered Kim's lessons and left for the parking lot. Coach Monte had caught Robert outside, chasing after him with concern on his face. Robert left this last part out of his explanation to Kim.
"Bobby, wait up!" the Coach had called after him.
Robert had turned around and Monte pulled up before him out of breath, "Yeah?"
"You didn't mean everything you said in there did you? I mean all that stuff about calling the cops and all. I mean did he really break the law here?" The Coach rested his hand on Robert's shoulder, smiling at him.
"That's not really for me to say. I would think that his bringing other members of the football team to hurt one student to manipulate Kim would be enough to raise a few hairs on the backs of everyone's neck. I'm not sure the community would like to hear their kids are in the same building all day long with people like that."
"That's not even cute Bobby," Monte said cutting him off. "Don't make threats like that. No one knows if that even really happened. We had no complaint from the Ackerman kid. He didn't even stop in and see the nurse. We only have Kim's descri…."
"Don't Coach. I'm not loyal to this school anymore. I was never THAT loyal to it in any case, and certainly not over my family. So let me warn you once, if you feel the answer to this thing is to vilify my sister, do don't go there."
Monte stood stoically regarding Roberts appraisal of his loyalties. Then he smiled, chuckling a bit, "You misunderstand me. Of course they're important to you. No one wants it any other way my boy. But we have to consider ruining someone else's career over an unsubstantiated rumor. Think how you would feel if someone made a baseless claim…"
Robert turned hard, planting his feet and causing Coach Monte to blunder right into Robert's front. Kim's brother took the coach by the shoulders and forcibly moved the man clear of his personal space. "If something else happens it won't be me you have to worry about. Everyone will be down here with torches and pitchforks demanding the monster. They'll take the guys that made him too. They'll take you guys and burn you at the stake. All I've done is give you the message that the monster's loose." It's going to be your job to catch him and put him back in his cage before he does something else.
-*-
Robert had left confident that Coach Monte had been sufficiently warned and would act on the information Robert had given him. Monte had no intention of doing anything before talking to Kirk and verifying as much of Robert's story as possible.
Kirk had not gone to school that day however. He had returned home, humiliated, seething about what his former friend had just put him through, enraged that Kim had betrayed him. He brooded all day as he bounced around inside his parent's house alone with only his self to comfort him. There were no thoughts of charity toward Kim in Kirk's mind. He had been denied something he wanted above all other things at that moment. She and done the one thing that he would never be able to excuse or forgive.
She had run away from him.
By morning, Kirk was in a fog that no one or nothing could penetrate. All he could see was Kimberly, his Kimberly. An endless film of what had supposed to be played over and over in his head, their wedding, his graduation from college, his draft to the NFL, the awards, the money… his children gathered around him to worship their father. All of this was now at risk of not coming true. All because of that bitch!
The phone calls to his home began Wednesday morning. The school of course was concerned about his absence in additions to the allegations. No one was there, however, to take the calls. Kirk spent Wednesday morning and afternoon bumbling around Heritage Mall. He spent the better part of the day there wandering around, doing nothing, stewing in pity for his broken dreams.
He finally left at 4:10 p.m., racing back to the Magnolia district where his and Kim's family lived with one idea burning in his mind, to get Kim to see the error of her decision. To convince her that he was just the sort of man she deserved.
-*-
Robert dropped Kim off at their house at 5:16 p.m. She was glad to be some place where there was a shower. It was her number one priority at the moment. She just knew she smelled like a cheeseburger.
"I swear Bobby, if I never see another French fry again, it'll be too soon. How can you stand that smell?" Kim asked holding her nose, her face pinched in an exaggerated fashion.
"You get used to it," Bobby excused, "Besides, as manager I'm not out front all day."
Kim got out but Robert didn't turn the car off. "You coming in?"
"I gotta run to the corner for a few things. I'll be right back. Want anything while I'm out?"
"Yeah, how about a few beers?" Kim asked sweetly.
"Nice try." Robert said chuckling. "I'll be right back." She watched as he pulled out, turned and made her way gratefully to the house.
Once inside, Kim leaned against the closed front door with her back. Boredom was tiring. Her school hadn't held her interest for too long and she was still able to get two days assignments completed before 1:00. Now she was nothing but exhausted.
Go change clothes... Get comfortable, that will help relax you.
It was a good idea. A pair of sweat pants and a soft top would calm her down. Her jeans were too tight and the boots she had worn felt like they were binding her toes, feet and calves.
"Yeah... good idea, go change..." It was strange being in the house alone. She'd almost forgotten how nice it was here with no one else to make noises or be distracting. As Tim, she used to like being here alone from time to time. As Kim, she couldn't really remember a specific moment when she had been afforded that luxury. A bit of solitude would be a welcomed break from the constant company she had to keep and the lack of peace that seemed to go right along with it. Kim slowly mounted the stairs taking her time and thinking to herself that a hot bath would be very relaxing.
She continued to climb in the gloom of the unlit stairwell toward the landing at the top. Once there, she peered blankly into Robert's darkened room. Her mind was still tried to inventory the shadows, putting them into logical order as she walked. There had been Robert's desk, the silhouette of his reading lamp, two posts of the footboard of his bed. There was the line of shoes he kept just under the edge of his bed. There had been the silhouette of his football pads near the door, a pair of disembodied legs in the corner, his freshwater fish tank that Kim could still hear bubbling behind her.
Kimberly froze dead in her tracks. Her breath was trapped in her lungs as her mind rapidly checked the inventory list of things she just identified.
Legs… There was no hint of thighs or body. There were no arms or head that might have given ownership to the legs. The legs had just stood there in the dark, the toes of the shoes pointed toward Robert's dresser.
One thing Kim felt she could recall very clearly however, was the idea that the legs had been men's legs.
From somewhere behind in the direction Robert's room a board creaked in the dim murk of the upstairs hall. Kim couldn't keep her throat from swallowing. Her fear and confusion were now pushing her emotions to the breaking point. Another creaking board, this one closer and she knew whoever it was were coming toward her. She mewed a pathetic little girlish cry through lips pressed together in stark terror. She could hear the owner of the legs breathing steadily as they creaked ever closed her to her.
"Hi Kim," said the voice from directly behind her. "You sure look sweet today. I have to say though, I still like that cheerleaders outfit better."
