CHAPTER 39
We picked up some breakfast stuff, eggs and sausage, beans and bacon, and a loaf of bread, from the big supermarket the other side of the racecourse. Susie looked amused at the quantity I was loading up.

“Ah, lass, the lads like a good fry-up of a cold morning, and bacon and breadcakes does the trick”

“Breadcakes?”

I indicated the items in question, and she laughed. “Bread rolls! We are going to have to bring you up to date, Gerald. Now, talk me through what you’ve got for books as we drive”

“Oh, nice and simple, lass. Purchase day book, sales day book, wages files, usual”

“Let me take a wild guess: you are talking about pen and paper, aren’t you?”

“Well, aye! Were good enough for old Dobbs…”

She made a snort, and once more muttered under her breath, something about middle ages and Luddites, and then put her hand on my arm.

“Pull over, Gerald. Please. Now”

I found a spot by the pavement, and once I had set the hand brake I turned to look at her, only to find she was quietly weeping.

“What’s up, lass?”

“Oh for god’s sake, it’s everything. Look, you know bloody well know what I was doing down by that river, and you know why”

I made sure I thought through what I had to say, kept the words from my lips till I was sure they were the right ones.

“No, lass, not really. I have ideas, like, guesses I can make, but no. I don’t understand people like you. You are… foreign to me. But I’d like to try. Now, want to talk?”

She sat for a few minutes, fiddling with bag and tissues, then started speaking in a small, quiet voice.

“It’s a new thing, Gerald. A very new thing for me. I’ve spent all of my life locked up, excluded from what I should have been, needed to be. Now, suddenly, for the first time since I set out on transition, I’m seeing further ahead than the next day. I’m seeing a bloody future for once”

“Transition… That’ll be change over, aye?”

“Yup. Messy, difficult business, name change, all sorts of shit, and I’m stuck now because the only place they could offer me was in London. You know, for treatment, diagnosis, that stuff. No way I could do that”

“So what do you need to do?”

“Oh, I have to see some head shrinkers, they decide whether I am what I say I am, and I need a GP here who’d be happy to prescribe hormones, and I will tell you this, my old doctor is a miserable old bigot. Who am I to disagree with what the midwife said?”

I took another moment to think. “Look, let’s get down to Acaster, get in warm, get breakfast going. This is something to sort out at home, over cuppa, aye?”

She nodded sharply, and I put the car back into gear and moved carefully away from the kerb.

The office was empty, still too early for the lads, but Doreen was already in, sorting through the mail from the previous two days.

“Oh, Mr Barker! We heard you’d had an accident! You OK?”

“Fine now, Doreen, thanks to this lass. Fell in Ouse, and she came in and pulled me out”

“Gracious me! What happened?”

“Um, think I had one too many at regimental do, like, slipped off path by boathouses. Susie here came into water, pulled me out. Were bit cold in river”

I could see her trying to get the measure of Susie, her eyes dancing around recognition of another woman while they were clearly telling her another story. I smiled.

“Stroke of luck. I mean, in another way. Turns out lass is a bookkeeper”

Doreen’s eyes widened. “Oh! You mean? We can get this mess sorted out?”

I turned back to Susie. “Old Mr Dobbs wasn’t the most organised when it came to paperwork, and after he passed away we had a terrible job sorting mess out. Doreen’s right handy in office, but she’s never had any training on books, like. Doreen, I’m going to set out breakfast stuff for lads, if you can get kettle on, then two of you settle down and go through what needs doing?”

I sat down at my desk as Doreen passed me the mail, sorted as usual by type: bills payable, bills paid, bookings, etc, and as I settled down to work through them the kettle boiled, tea was brought and as the lads arrived our little kitchen began to fill with the smell of bacon.

“Susie, Trevor, Dean and Jack. They’ll introduce themselves by and by. Lads, new bookkeeper. Play nicely”

The morning seemed to evaporate as I gradually shifted the mail from one side of my little desk to the other. I looked up to see Susie standing in front of me, waiting politely till I looked up. “Aye?”

“Nothing much, Gerald, but there’s one thing you could do straight off to make things easier. Get two of each Day Book”

“Eh?”

“Odd years in one book, even years in another. That way, when books go off to accountant at end of year you’ve still got working book in office”

It was one of those little ideas that are so obvious with hindsight: why can they never be obvious right away?

“Doreen’s had to catch up each year, hasn’t she, Gerald?”

“Afraid so, lass. Doreen: what do you think?”

The older woman (a thought now coming far more easily) smiled. “Should have thought of it myself, Mr Barker. Susie’s right: little thing, but it will save a lot of hard graft. More ideas like that, girl, just let us know!”

Susie laughed, and it was a happy sound. “Oh, I have plenty of ideas! Computer, for one”

Doreen giggled. “Computer? I take back what I just said!”

So the day went, as February’s cold light slowly lifted the heavy dew that had made the roads so slippery. At dinnertime, I took Susie out into the yard. “Give you look at what we do, lass. Those shoes OK on this stuff?”

“Fine, Gerald. Have to admit, I always did like boats. Way of getting away from folk when, you know…”

“Aye, lass. I know. For me, it was working on them. I read some stuff back in Sixties about meditation, rubbish really, I thought at time, then I looked at what I did with engines”

“All laid out, in a pattern? Working through it in order?”

“Aye. Old Mr Dobbs, he taught me that. Take tin for bits, everything laid out in order it comes off. Work seems to do itself when you sort it that way. Look, here’s two sorts of boat we do”

“Canal boat and launch?”

“Narrow boat and cruiser, lass. Some of the narrow boats are ours to hire, but most of them here are servicing and repair jobs. Not many understand a Bolinder the way Dean does”

“That’s a diesel engine?”

“Er, no. Different beast. I’ll show you some time, but they are really simple in what they do, just some folk don’t understand what they can’t do, like. Now, these cruisers, they are where we do a lot of trade. Big companies, holiday companies like, sell packages to people who just want to go up and down river and want something a little easier to steer. Depends, though. You get folk as want to stand up by wheel, think they’re in some flashy yacht or whatever, then there’s those who just want to amble, sit at back with tiller. Mostly folky types, if you take my meaning”

“Arran sweaters and pewter tankards?”

“Absolutely! Better customers, too. Know the value of things, tradition, like. Now, walk with me into village?”

We made our way past the caravan park and the pub to the village centre, where there was a bakery. Susie raised an eyebrow, and I nodded.

“Aye. Dad Cyril sold up for his retirement. They do a good egg and bacon flan”

“Gerald, you had eggs and bacon for breakfast!”

“I remain a man of simple tastes, lass! Afternoon, Mandy! Usual?”

“Afternoon, Mr Barker! We’ve got some pizza slices today as well, Hawaiian. Who’s this with you?”

“This is Susie, new bookkeeper at boatyard. Her first day today”

“Well, go easy on her, then. If you’ve got time, lass, we could do with a bit of a sort out as well”

Susie looked at me, once more her eyebrows raised in query.

“If you fancy it, lass, this is a proper village, once you get past the tourists. We look out for each other, lend a hand. I said I’d give you a job, I didn’t say you had to be tied to me. You serious, Mandy?”

She nodded. “Just be nice if someone were to give us a bit of a clue. What’s your hourly rate, lass?”

Susie started laughing. “Hourly bloody rate? How the hell should I know? Last week I were a shelf-stacker in a warehouse! Which reminds me, Gerald: we do need to sort that one out. I mean, I am sort of, technically, still employed there. Ish”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem”

Mandy laughed at that one. “Mr Barker, here, once he sets his course he doesn’t back down. Now, lass, what’ll you have”

“Oh, tuna sandwich and I’ll try one of those Hawaiian slices, Mandy”

“There you go… ta, Mr Barker. Welcome to Acaster, Susie”

We left the shop, Susie grinning happily, and it was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

“Acceptance, Gerald, that’s all. I mean, Doreen did give me a funny look at first, but then settled right down. I think it must be having you by me. Look…”

She stopped walking, and gave a deep sigh. “Could I use the phone when we get back? Just tell someone… Just tell my mam I’m all right”