CHAPTER 34
They wouldn’t stop banging on the door, and that early in the morning my head wasn’t up to the disturbance. I managed to get down the stairs without falling over, though, and wrenched the front door open.

“What?”

They made quite a group at the front step, with both Dads, Rodney, Matthew and Mr Dobbs, who looked me up and down and muttered something about expecting better. Despite the fact that I was still in pyjamas and barefoot, they pushed past me into the back room. Rodney was straight to the point.

“Matthew? Can you make up the fire, get some water heating? Cyril, Sidney, can you deal with the bottles? Thank you”

I started forward. “That one’s still got—“

“PRIVATE BARKER!”

Old reflexes, but still there. Rodney’s voice dropped to something like a purr, but there was still force to it, still that tone of command.

“Is this the man I saw through France and the rest? A drunkard and wastrel? Is this the man I count as a friend?”

Cyril chipped in. “Aye, and lad I were proud to call son? What would my Tricia—OUR Tricia—say about all this mess?”

Matthew couldn’t keep his mouth shut, and with his whisper of “Or Bob?” I fell apart. The sofa was there, one end clear of mess, and I just sat down and wept. It was all too much, and it had been too much ever since that awful day of the blood and the ambulance. There were still stains I would never be able to get out of the carpet, the last remnants of my life. Dad dumped the rubbish from the other end of the sofa onto the floor and, after just a little hesitation, laid his arm around my shoulder till I could get the messy sobs under control.

“So what were you going to do, son? Drink up till money’s gone? Wait for Council to kick you onto street when rent’s not paid?”

“I don’t---“

“WE care, son! Look at your boss there, who’s still been putting your wages aside even though you’ve done nowt for a month. Or he’ll tell you himself”

Mr Dobbs coughed, and I realised he was embarrassed. “I, er, I went and saw Council chaps, Gerald, and explained how you weren’t well, like, and you’ll find your wages a bit short… I sorted rent out for you”

I had nothing to say to that, but Matthew did. “We’ll have hot water in a while, Gerald, and you will bathe while we investigate the state of your wardrobe. Where is your iron?”

“In cupboard under stairs, with board. Why are you doing this?”

Cyril sighed, not quite theatrically. “Because you are the lad my Tricia chose, and she were dead right in that. In a way, you are all me and her mother have left of her, and… It’s a hard thing for us to say, son, but it’s what all the young folk say so easily, and, well, we love you. That’s said, and matter’s closed. Now, we’ve brought milk, just in case. I’ll get kettle on”

He looked at the cardboard boxes now full of empty bottles on his way to the kitchen, and muttered.

“Bin man’s going to be a bit off with all that glass”

They sat me down, and Cyril poured tea while they talked over my head, which was giving me a few problems, but they’d taken all the bottles, even the full ones. Eventually, with the help of some work with the kettle, they had a bath drawn for me, and to my shame Dad came in with me and scrubbed my back before shaving me. He clearly didn’t trust the state of my hands, and to be honest he was probably right.

Clothes were set out for me, ironed and clean, and my shoes had been blacked. I don’t know who did what, but half an hour after knotting my tie we were in Betty’s. Dad explained.

“Wanted somewhere you’d be on best behaviour, son, and no ale. Time you woke from your nightmares”

I looked sharply at him, wondering what the hell he was up to and wishing I could just crawl back into my bed, which had once been “our” bed. Mr Dobbs coughed for attention.

“It were my idea, Gerald. Let’s just say that I can still see the lad I took on and not the drunkard he won’t become, if you take my meaning. I have proposal for you, but after state of you this morn, well, I am in two minds”

Cyril was nodding. “Aye, Bernard here was right full of idea at first, and you’ve very nearly lost your chance, son. My daughter didn’t take up with a waster and a drinker, so it stops now. Stops cold and hard”

Mr Dobbs laid a manila envelope on the table next to the tea and the remains of the scones, which I had hardly touched.

“Gerald, I am getting on. I’ve run that place over thirty years, my Dad before me, and happen I have no family left, no son of my own. What we were talking about, me and Sid and Cyril here, was a sort of… Look, when I pass on, there needs to be someone to pass business onto, like. Not giving. I, well, business is taking off, what with cruisers and holidays and that, and, well, I were wondering if you would like to come in as partner. Not fitter, not foreman, but partner”

Really? “Wouldn’t that take money, Mr Dobbs? Investment and all, that what they call it? I haven’t got money like that”

Cyril coughed this time. “Happen me and Sid here have some put by, and, well…”

Matthew, as ever, broke up the confused shambles the conversation had fallen into. “Gentlemen, friends, we do have a proposal, do we not, Rodney?”

The Major nodded. “One of the ways that those of us with means retain and increase our assets is by careful investment in profitable concerns. I have a proposal, yes I do. Gerald, dear Mr Dobbs—“

“Bernard please, Major”

“Rodney, Bernard. Gerald, what I am offering is to advance you the wherewithal to accept this partnership, and without interest. We will agree a suitable rate of repayment, and you will adhere to it”

I looked round the table in shock, my hangover almost gone. “But what do you get out of it, Rodney?”

“I get the satisfaction of helping a dear friend in his hour of need, Gerald. Oh, and we agree some form of partnership for myself as well, so that when your loan is paid off, there is a modest return to my own funds. Will that suit?”

“Well…”

Mr Dobbs chipped in. “Condition, Gerald, is that I get lad back I took on. No more bins full of bottles”

Dad’s voice was softer. “Happen I know what it feels like, son, way of getting through waking hours and then through night, but after a while you’re drinking to feed the drink, not for yourself. I don’t think you’re quite there yet, but this is chance to do right by your friends and your family. Bernie here’s sticking his neck out for you, so can you do that much for him? For us?”

I looked round the table again, and saw Rodney looking down at his hands rather than at me. I wondered how he had beaten his own addiction. “Can I think on?”

Again it was Matthew. “No. Not at all. You either promise us here and now that we have our Gerald back or those of us who can walk away bloody well will. Do you hear me?”

I could see no way out, for they had prepared their ground well. “Can I have another pot of tea, Dad? I’m right dry”

Rodney laughed, ruefully. “That is how we prefer you, dear boy! Do we have an agreement?”

No choice. I could hear Tricia’s voice in my head, clear and full of common sense, which is far from ‘common’.

“Aye, Rodney. We have an agreement”

There were papers, and money in sums I had never imagined, and Bernard (no longer Mister) had a solicitor nearby who was already prepared, and I became part of Dobbs and Barker. The financial commitment staggered me, because all I could see was at least ten years of repayments ahead of me. Cyril clearly detected my nerves, and had his own quiet word with me as we left the little first-floor office.

“Happen you’ll be worried about keeping up repayments, son. Well, I don’t believe the Major will be too strict on that one, but rest easy”

He took a deeper breath, and I realised he was actually in a worse state than I was, so close to tears I thought he would burst from the strain of holding them back. A few more deep, sighing breaths.

“Son. That’s what we call you, me and our lass. Tricia were all we had, like”

And I had killed her, me, getting her in family way. “Cyril… Dad…I’m sorry—“

“No, Gerald. Never say that. Never say you were sorry for loving our little girl, for making her so happy. Never say sorry for making babby, never! Things happen, just happen. Could have been struck by lightning, could have been hit by bus. What happened happened, and none of us had any say in matter, any blame. Now, you just get on with your life and make it a good one, make us proper proud of you again. Now… now, I’ve put you in my will, son, for that’s who you are, and that’s my hand on it, and that’s talking done”

A few seconds elapsed before he asked for my hanky.