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Edited by Gwen Brown, with my many thanks to her. |
The run I had, really cleared my head, and I had a lot to consider too. Here I was sleeping with a girl who for all intense and purposes, was almost young enough to be my daughter, that is to say my daughter if I were still a 31 year old man, telling me that she finds me attractive. But it’s not me parse that she is attracted to, but the body of the girl her own age that my brain has been put into. It was a bit disturbing to me. I mean not that someone found this body attractive. Don’t get it twisted. It was the fact that while on the outside I looked and for the most part WAS a teenage girl, I still had the brain of a much older man. And that is what really bothered me.
If I had done what I allowed to happen last night, back when I was still Josh, there is no doubt in my mind that I’d be breaking out in a matching pair of silver bracelets, attached together with a lovely chrome chain, if you catch my drift. But then another part of me really likes Grace. She’s a sweet girl, who’s intelligent, witty, and we share many of the same interests. But then again, I wasn’t really sure how to be a lesbian. Well, that is to say, I know how to do some of the things some friends I had back in the day told me they did with their girlfriends, but I wasn’t sure if I really knew what I was doing. I finally figured I would, that is if anything was going to happen, make the two of us would take it VERY slow. There is no way I’m going to mess up this girls brain just because I like the way she feels, touching me.
I stopped at the Monarch on my way back to the apartment, and picked up a couple of their breakfast sandwiches. I placed the order and made sure I asked for a couple of them without cheese, since I HATE cheese on my meat. Pizza is alright, but I’m not a big cheese fan. I waited for the order to be filled, and since it was around 6am on a Sunday, the place was pretty empty. It was then that I noticed that my favorite food worker was behind the grill. Angela was trying to get ahead of the inevitable breakfast rush, and busied herself making the sandwiches I was getting for Grace and me. I stood right there and watched her put cheese on everything and didn’t say a word. I merely stood there and waited for the other worker to hand me my bag before raising a stink.
“How hard is it to understand that I wanted two with and two without cheese?” I asked angrily.
“What’s wrong miss?” the cashier asked.
“What was my order?”
“Uh?” she started to look at the receipt, “two breakfast sandwiches with cheese and two without.” she said as she looked into the bag. “Oops, ok, let me fix this.” she told me as she went back to the prep area and I could hear her chew out Angela for not paying attention to the order. As the woman who I thought was the cashier, who turned out to be the manager, came back and apologized for the mistake, I could see Angela looking at me with so much anger in her eyes I thought it would be best if I steered clear of her for a couple of days. I thanked the manager and was on my way. As I got back to the apartment just as Grace was waking up and as I was just putting the coffee on, I saw her emerge from my room and she looked like a walking zombie.
“Not a morning person?” I said with a giggle.
“Where did you go? I rolled over and you were gone.” she said as she wiped the sleep from her eyes.
“Oh, I always go for a morning run. It really helps me get my head clear for the rest of the day.” I said as I poured her a glass of the juice I picked up at the store on my way back.
“Where did all this come from?” she asked, knowing that she hadn’t been to the store yet.
“Well I figured I’d grab some things for breakfast, and we could go shopping later for the rest of the essentials.”
“Good call, what’s in the bag?” she asked as she started to peek in the bag from the Burger Monarch.
“I got some sandwiches. Do you want cheese or no cheese?”
“It’s got to have cheese on it.”
“That’s what you think.” I said raising my eyebrow to her. “I only want cheese on my pizza. Other then that, the only part of the cow I want to know about is the meat.”
She giggled and we got down to eating, before she told me that I stunk. So I took the first shower and after she came out from her’s, we went shopping. I made sure to call Samantha to make sure it would be alright for us to use her car, and she was cool with it. She even suggested we meet up for lunch. So I mentioned to Grace that we’d hit the grocery store after that, so the food didn’t spoil.
Shopping went well, for the most part that is. We hit some of the clothing stores and I picked up the cutest little blue tank top and a pair of white shorts that looked awesome with it. Grace found a nice casual yellow button up shirt that just makes her look all that cuter. We were just walking into the shoe store, to see what they had to offer when I got blind sided and shoved into one of the displays.
“You think it’s funny you little shit? I slave away behind that fucking grill and you think it’s funny to make me fuck an order up?” came the unmistakable voice of Angela.
“The fuck is your problem?” I asked as I tried to get up, only to find myself pinned down by her thugs again.
“You know exactly what my fucking problem is!” she shouted back and again punched me in the gut. “Just because my mommy and daddy make me work for my spending money doesn’t make you better then me!” she said and followed that up with another punch.
It was after the second punch that the clerk at the store was able to get to us and he made her and her friends leave. I in the meantime, sat in one of the chairs and tried to get my breath back, since the second punch took some out of me. Grace helped the clerk pick up the display that my body had knocked over and was soon at my side, asking if I was alright.
“I’ll be fine.” I said taking a deep breath. “I just need a minute to catch my breath.”
“What was that all about?” she asked me.
“She works at the Monarch, and was on today when they put cheese on my sandwiches.”
“So she’s pissed at you because she screwed the pooch?” Grace asked me.
“Well, that and I hurt her hand the first time she punched me.” I said with a giggle then grabbed my stomach from the still lingering pain. “By the way, you never told me you were from a military family.”
“How did you know?”
“I had a cousin that was in the army and she always used the phrase, ‘screw the pooch,’ when she was talking about something being messed up.” I said with a grin.
“Mom and dad met while in the navy.” she told me. “Mom retired when I was born, but dad still does his admiral thing.”
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” I asked in shock, “Admiral?”
“Yup, Admiral John Mangano, USS Intrepid.” she told me with that cute smile she has.
“Nice.” was all I could come up with.
We both ended up picking up a couple of cute pairs of shoes. Not that I’d been a shoe shopper before I ended up in this body mind you. I used to have one pair of work boots, my running shoes, rugby cleats, and a pair of dress shoes. That was it. But something about being with Grace in the shoe store made me want to get something cute. So I ended up with a pair of red stilettos with a five inch chrome heel, and Grace got a matching pair of black ones all to go with the dresses we had just picked up. I kind of had to talk Grace into getting the dress, since she was worried about making her money last her a while. I simply made up some story about having a coupon for buy one and get one free, so her dress would be free. Lucky for me, she bought it, while I paid for both dresses. I mean how could I, as a good friend, not get her a dress that makes her look THAT hot in it? Sometimes having money is a good thing right?
We met up with Samantha for lunch, and while I was hoping to just let the incident at the shoe store go, Grace HAD to tell her what happened with Angela. To say she wasn’t happy would be like saying the Grand Canyon was a ditch. She was livid. She was talking about expelling Angela and the group of girls who followed her every move. However I was able to talk some sense into her. I didn’t want to see the girl’s lives ruined just because of some anger management issues, so I suggested that she speak to Angela’s boss to dock her pay to make up for the damage to the display she sent me into at the store. That caused Samantha to pull me into a hug and say how proud of me she was for turning the other cheek.
Once we left Samantha after lunch, Grace and I hit the grocery store. To see the selections she was making, you’d have thought she had never been to one before. While I picked up some fresh fruits and vegetables, she was busy packing the cart with candy, and cookies. I ended up talking some sense into her, by explaining that in order for her to make it through the day without being drag ass tired at the end of it; she’d need to fuel her body right. I chose to explain it in car terms in hopes to make her understand.
“Think of your body as an engine.” I told her. “And food is the fuel. You could run it on nitro-methane.” I told her holding up a bag of candy and a box of cookies. “Or you could run it on diesel.” I said holding up some veggies. “One will make you go like hell for a short time. The other will give you more then enough power to go all day without problems. Which one do you think is better?”
“I get it mom.” she said sticking her tongue out at me.
“I’ve been there.” I said with a sigh. “I know what it’s like to be on your own for the first time, and all I’m trying to do is help you not make the same mistakes I made. Trust me. I like cookies like anyone else, but it only leads to being tired, and eventually, it’ll make you fat, because the sugar in them only lasts for a short time, so you’ll find yourself eating more and more of them to stay level.”
“Ok, so what’s next on the list of dos?” she asked putting back all but one of each of the junk food.
“Pasta,” I told her with a proud smile. “Pasta is what athletes eat the night before a big competition. They help your body, by storing the carbohydrates in them so you’ll have something left in the tank at the end of a long day.”
We ended up picking up quite a bit of healthy food. Mind you that I’m not opposed to some of the things she put in the cart, I just believe in moderation. All in all, we ended up with a couple hundred dollars worth of food that should last us a couple of weeks. Granted, the breads and milk will need to be replaced in a couple of days, but this was a good start, and again I foot the bill for the entire tab. Once we got home and had our bounty put away Grace came into my room and voiced her concern about me spending all my money on her.
“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it.” she started. “It’s just that I feel bad about you paying for me all the time.”
“Fair enough,” I said as I sat next to her on the bed. “But there is a problem I have.”
“What’s that?”
“When I had my accident, I had about $20 in my account. That was back in 2008. And apparently there was a payout from the insurance company of the guy who hit me.”
“It couldn’t have been that big a pay out.” she said looking concerned.
“$1.2 million” I told her showing her the printout I got online from my old account. “Also there were two payouts from my parent's life policies. Now, I didn’t touch the funds for over a thousand years. And the interest kept piling up. So as you can see. The final balance before I pulled out $100 yesterday was $22 trillion.” I said looking at her eyes to try to gauge her reaction. “So you see, I really have more money than I know what to do with.”
“But why did you buy me a dress, and pay for my food?”
“I was always taught that if you are lucky enough to have some good luck, don’t hoard it. Share it with friends.” I said with a smile and took her hand in mine. “Grace, you’re the only friend I have.”
She didn’t say a word; she just started to cry and hugged me tight. We sat there for a while hugging and crying together, as I brought her to the realization that I liked her. That was when she told me that she hadn’t told me the whole truth back on the ride to the moon.
“Remember when I said I was leaving all my friends behind?” she asked wiping the tears away.
“Yeah, you were pretty pissed about it.”
“I lied. I never had any friends.” she said starting to sob again.
“Come on, how can that be?”
“Who wants’ to be friends with a girl who spends her time reading engineering books, and watching races on television?” she asked looking at me, to which I just raised my hand to signal that I would. “Come on, I mean, all the girls back home think I’m a freak, because I don’t listen to the latest boy band and I’d rather watch a race, than go to the mall.”
“And that’s a bad thing, HOW?” I asked with a smile.
“I’m serious!” she scolded me. “To make things worse I was the only girl in my old school that would rather date another girl then a guy.”
“Alright, then you and I are in the same boat.” I told her
“How’s that,” she asked sniffling?
“Well, I’d rather watch or go to a race than the mall. I’d rather hear the sound of a large v-8 engine with a lumpy cam then ANY boy band. And there is this one girl I’ve been thinking about kissing, but she beat me to the punch and kissed me first.” I said with a wink.
“You mean that?” she asked with a twinkle in her eyes. “If I hadn’t kissed you first, you’d have kissed me?”
“Yes. Well, that is to say, I would have brought the subject up much like you did, and then played it by ear from there.”
She hugged me again and brought her face close to mine before stopping her lips just inches from mine. I smiled and placed my hands gently on her face and leaned in to give her the softest, most passion filled kiss I’d ever given. I even heard her moan softly as I continued to caress her face. When I finally broke the kiss off, she smiled at me and then blushed.
“Wow, that was nice.” she told me with another hug.
“Yeah, it was for me too.” I said smiling at her. “But I do have one suggestion for you.”
“What’s that?”
“Relax. Don’t kiss, like you’re pressing your lips against a glass door. Think of it more like eating a peach.” I told her.
“I don’t follow you.” she said confused.
“Alright, you’ve eaten a peach before right?”
“Yeah, lot’s of times.”
“Alright, which way works better? Keeping your lips tight and drawn hard against your teeth, or loose, and soft, so you can let them catch the juice?”
“Soft and loose.” she said cocking her head to try to follow my analogy.
“Alright, think about that when you kiss. If you keep your lips soft and loose, it allows the other person to feel you more. Think about how my lips are when I kiss you. Do you like that?”
“OH YEAH!” she told me with a smile.
“Alright, then lets try it again.” I told her leaning in to kiss her again.
She licked her lips and did what I suggested. It was the most electric feeling I’d ever had from kissing her. Her lips were so soft, and she caressed my face like I’d done hers. At that moment, I’d have done just about anything for her. I had to force myself to remember what I thought about earlier. So I pulled away a bit, and she followed my lead. Once we broke off the kiss we were both panting a bit, and she started to giggle as she saw my nipples poking though my shirt.
We ended up cuddling again that night but I made sure we both got up in time for the first day of classes. The whole world seemed to be working with me to make a happy life. I guess it was Karma’s way of saying ‘Hey, sorry about that crash. Here, this one’s on me.”
TO BE CONTINUED...
Comments
its good
angela is upsetting me. she is really really mean and perhaps she should be expelled. on another note. grace is cool through. shes becoming a very good friend.
Mean Girls
>> angela is upsetting me. she is really really mean
On the other hand, it was fairly nasty of the new Amy to watch someone make a mistake and not say anything until the error was beyond recovery, and only *then* stage an angry scene. It seems to me that Amy set Angela up, even though she mentions that Anglela was trying to get ahead of the breakfast crowd, and is obviously somewhat harried, since her boss reprimands her over the simple mistake that Amy contributed to through spiteful inaction.
The boss might legitimately have asked why Amy just stood there and said nothing during all this until after it was too late to gracefully recover, and make allowances for the fact that people are not robots, but this manager is notably unconcerned with her employee's frail humanity or feelings.
It's a little astonishing that nobody in the story notices how mean and vindictive Amy is, especially when she "helpfully" suggests that Angela be made to pay for the damages, when she's obviously not nearly as well off as Amy herself and is already under financial stress.
The story is well-named "Mean Girls," but perhaps Amy is included in that plural reference.
Amy lies about Angela's justifiable anger, "She works at the Monarch, and was on today when 'they' put cheese on my sandwiches," making it seem like Angela was mysteriously uninvolved -- and therefore crazy -- but an honest assessment might have been, "She was the victim of my hateful lack of concern for her problems, and was unjustly punished for an innocent mistake through my vindictive and histrionic self-righteousness."
A more thoughtful Amy might have apologised for setting Angela up for a reprimand, and volunteered to pay for any damages, since "a soft answer turneth away wrath; but a grievous word stirreth up anger."
But then she wouldn't be one of the "mean girls."
And maybe less of a pill.
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
AND WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!
Finally, someone gets it. Good job Puddintane. But remember, revenge is a dish best served cold.... Inside of a piping hot Double Whacker, plain, with only ketchup.... You'll see... LOL
Much love.
Toni
Docking pay
Yes, I was a little surprised when the idea of docking the girl's pay
was called "turning the other cheek".
Why not ?
I guess this is normal. After all, isn't bombing Iraq called "bringing democracy to an oppressed nation" ?
Hugs,
Kimby
Hugs,
Kimby
er....
that was uncalled for.
But who started it?
Yes, Amy has not been nice, no argument there. But who started it? Angela, by attacking Amy and Grace verbally, and then together with her sidekicks physically attacking Amy. How many other students has Angela attacked that were unable to defend themselves or fight back? Say what you want about Amy's actions, Angela is a bully who needed taking down. Karma can be a bitch when a shit-load of it suddenly dumps on you.
As for making Angela pay for the damages in the store, why not? Again, she and her sidekicks physically attacked Amy, which caused the damages. Unless the only thing that has changed in the thousand years is the idea of accountability for your actions, then Angela and her sidekicks are responsible for the damages, and guilty of Assault and Battery. She is lucky that after doing it twice now she hasn't been kicked out of the school and sent to whatever passes for juvenile court for trial.
KJT
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"
Janis Joplin
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
Karma
>> Angela is a bully who needed taking down.
Perhaps she does, but then don't we all?
Consider the scene the author set: Angela is the leader of a group of senior *girls* in a co-ed high school. This is more than a little odd, since "popular" girls are more typically found in the company of boyfriends and admirers at that age. We later find out that she doesn't have very much money, and is perhaps sensitive to the fact that she's surrounded by the "gifted" sons and daughters of the wealthy and privileged. Add to that the notion that Angela (and possibly her friends) may be closeted lesbians, and a certain amount of bravado might be expected, perhaps even a bit of ostentatious teasing to turn away suspicions that they too might be "dykes."
Whilst it may be depressing to think that, after a thousand years, homophobia is still around, it obviously is, or the teasing would be incomprehensible.
In response to the relatively innocuous teasing, Amy *doesn't* do what most girls would do, which would be to spend some time observing the social situation and figuring out the lie of the land before inserting herself into the roiling emotions and angst of high school young womanhood, confronts the older girls, makes hostile and aggressive threats that rise to viciousness, in my own opinion, and would probably be out of character for any high school girl not already "jumped" into a juvenile gang, and asserts her physical dominance, despite being "only a junior."
Angela's physical response to physical intimidation is predictable, as is that of her "posse." We already see that Angela is a "tough girl."
Amy's self-serving response to the late-arriving teacher's inquiry about the situation is to lie, as seems typical for her, "I kindly told her," pointing to the girl writhing in pain, "that she wasn’t being nice, and I wasn’t here to fight, I was here to learn.", which of course isn't what happened at all.
And in fact the teacher adds to Angela's miseries by lying as well, taking Amy's side against her and falsely claiming to have "[seen] it all," so perhaps the teacher is prejudiced against Angela by reason of her class and status, or in favour of Amy because of hers. Either attitude would lead to the same result.
>>>> It was about that time that Ms. Hagar came around
>>>> the corner and saw me being held and the other girl
>>>> holding her hand in obvious pain. She demanded to
>>>> know what was going on...
Then that same teacher confirms the "special status" of Amy and Grace by inviting them to an event normally reserved for faculty and staff, which special honours are undoubtedly well-known to all and sundry by the next morning. Is it really any wonder that Angela feels set upon?
I'm not at all sure that Angela is a "bully," as you call her, so much as a disadvantaged but still "gifted" kid trying to overcome her problems who is being upstaged and intimidated by a younger "newby" who is fawned upon by staff and faculty.
It seems likely that the staff, at least, are aware of Amy's financial resources, since application packets for elite schools usually require financial disclosure, and a simple credit check would have turned up her one point two trillion dollars. Someone, after all, has been paying the yearly taxes on this very substantial investment fund, and that level of wealth argues for an unseen (and as yet unknown) staff of investment advisors and accountants. It doesn't just sit in a bank gathering interest without help.
Perhaps the staff and faculty are rather more interested in Amy as a future donor and source of endowment funds than in the feelings and sensibilities of a probable scholarship kid from the putative slums.
Amy, at this point in her life, lacks more than a little compassion, despite her generosity and loyalty to her friends, but we are not so limited, and have the advantage of knowing that things are not always what they seem to be in stories.
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
It still is
Bullying on Angela's part, and for that she is paying the price. I'm not surprised at Amy's reaction, after all a few months ago she was a man, and this is the sort of reaction you'd expect from a man. Add in the fact that her formerly male brain is dealing with a rush of female hormones and you have a person who is fairly predictably emotionally unstable. If this were real I'd be surprised that "Amy" was allowed to attend this school so soon after this transplant. But the fact remains that Angela and her cronies started the whole thing, she gets no sympathy from me. It more than likely way overdue that she gets some of what she likely has been dishing out for years.
In spite of the fact that I've been smaller than my peers all my life, or perhaps because of it, I don't take BS like this from anybody. And when the dust settles I may not have won, but the other person will know they were in a fight. As I tell those who need to be told, I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, it's your choice. In this case Angela chose to make an enemy of somebody she didn't even know, and now it's payback time.
KJT
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"
Janis Joplin
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
my thoughts
I turned to see a group of older girls standing there laughing at the tender moment Grace and I had just shared. Without thinking I walked right up to one of the girls and got right in her face, letting my anger override my common sense.
“You got a problem?†I asked in a defiant tone.
“Look nooby. You don’t know who we are yet. But we run this school. So just go back to your girlfriend and you won’t get hurt.†the tall blond told me.
(clear physical threat. amy was justified in her response. she was threatened)
“Let me clue you in on a little fact little girl.†I said in a calm tone. “You may think you run things. But you stay out of my way, and I won’t make your stay here a living hell.â€
***********************************
anyone observing that would have seen the girls walk up on grace and amy and taunt and threaten them. they would have seen amy face them instead of backing, nothing physical yet. and they would have seen angelas friends grab amy while she hit amy.
and then jumping amy in a store because she felt insulted. that is just wrong.
Fighting words
>>>>> Without thinking I walked right up to one of the girls and got
>>>>> right in her face, letting my anger override my common sense.
>>>>> “You got a problem?†I asked in a defiant tone.
"Getting right in someone's face" and saying angrily "You got a problem?" is a physical challenge, and even Amy realises that her response was thoughtless, so why is it necessary to euphemise it by saying that it was not really a physical confrontation and/or that it was justified?
As a thought experiment, try on the idea of walking into any urban neighbourhood and acting and speaking in a similar manner to the leader of any random gang of toughs standing around on any random streetcorner in "the hood". Five will get you ten, even in a purely mental scenario, that you'd get beat up more often than not -- and possibly killed -- unless (or even if) you immediately "backed down" and apologised, unless you simultaneously imagined that you had miraculous superpowers or could "cloud men's minds" like The Shadow.
It's Amy who has the most noticeable "chip on her shoulder," and Angela *only* "pushed her buttons," but the step into physical confrontation was Amy's not Angela's. Angela didn't back away, to be sure, but Amy "started" that portion of their interaction. The step from words and derisive laughter to physical confrontation is not seamless, nor is it easily justified.
Amy didn't have to confront the older girl physically, nor to insult her in front of her friends, nor to threaten to make her life a "living hell" in order to make the point that Angela's behaviour was inappropriate and that it might have unfortunate consequences. What she did was to behave abnormally and aggressively, and to speak with what are recognisably inappropriate "fighting words," to which the only possible response from Angela was either to surrender or optionally say "Step off!" and then back it up with violence.
This was, in fact, a very "male" confrontation to a female interaction, which escalated the situation to the point that Angela probably saw no choice *other* than to act as she did. She'd been insulted and humiliated in front of her friends, and to back down would destroy both her credibility as a "tough girl" and her hard-won respect from her "betters."
Like the later scene in the burger joint, Amy bears heavy rsponsibility, even if partial, for everything that happened.
And aren't you just a tiny bit outraged that the teacher lied about seeing the whole thing, and that Amy's lie about the incident was unchallenged? The teacher's lie exposes a history of at least emotional bullying on her part, probably directed at Angela and her friends, whilst Amy's lie esposes a person who is not, in fact, very nice.
If this were a Harry Hotter book, and a similar confrontation and aftermath had just taken place, Amy would be Draco Malfoy and Angela would be Harry.
And after all is said and done, Angela and her friends were spot on accurate in their assessment of the budding relationship between Amy and Grace, although one doesn't *have* to suppose "gaydar" to account for the fact that two "shop majors" and race car enthusiasts might possibly be identified as incipient dykes by more conventional girls.
So maybe Amy's response ought really to have been, "That's *Mister* Dyke to you."
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
amy was justified
Amy got in Angela's face because Angela was already confrontational. angela and her friends came to amy and insulted her, and called them dykes. she was using very demeaning and insulting language. amy got up in the others face and said "do you have a problem." She didnt have to but its appropriate.
so far i like amy. I haven't seen much about amy so far that would show she is mean. only so far, waiting till her food was finished to make trouble. but by then, Angela has already physically assaulted amy. she did so again over that.
What angela did has the same ring to it as in our past when southern whites would call African American men, boys or ni****. it was meant to demean them. the result was alot of anger and some times riots. during the 50s and 60s, we had the civil rights leaders like Martin Luthor King and Medger Evers. They in the same way with their protests 'got up in their face' saying 'i am a person' 'i dont deserve to be treated this way.' Where they wrong to protest their unfair and demeaning treatment?
you said,
As a thought experiment, try on the idea of walking into any urban neighbourhood and acting and speaking in a similar manner to the leader of any random gang of toughs standing around on any random streetcorner in "the hood". Five will get you ten, even in a purely mental scenario, that you'd get beat up more often than not -- and possibly killed -- unless (or even if) you immediately "backed down" and apologised, unless you simultaneously imagined that you had miraculous superpowers or could "cloud men's minds" like The Shadow."
*****
want to know why, those gangs are vicious and brutal criminals. they have the same mentality as angela and her friends. they enjoy demeaning and hurting people.
Nice chapter
Good work toni if you keep this up you'll have to admit your not really a hack writer.I think you've done a great job in improving your writing skills and the increased number of hits backs me up.Some people are forgetting it's a work of fiction.Most storys of the future present a bleak outlook.So far you've presented a future that most of us can relate to I don't see anything wrong with that.Nit picking about little things that are usually the part of any story to me doesn't do the meat of the story any justice.It's your story and your world your creating a 1000 years into the future I don't see how you can research that all you can do is make it up.I would hope in the future the technology to repair or recharge an mp3 or any old primitive electronic device would be readily available but then again in our time we simply throw things out as soon as the next great thing arrives.Amy
School??
Toni,
Like the story so far but I only have one question. Are we to assume that schooling has progressed so little in 1000 years that Amy can fit right into it. In history alone, she wouldn't have a clue as to what has occurred in the past 1000 years without lots of time to catch up. Worst than that how about math? I keep thinking of Robert Heinlein stories where mommy is scolding little Johnnie about keeping up with his tensor calculus (in the 7th grade). Would Amy be able to keep up with her fellow students on topics like this?? Is this a TG story in which we need to suspend belief??
Other than that I am enjoying the story very much.
only one of the many areas of suspended disbelief
This is a fantasy. Hey, an mp3 player that still works after sitting in a box for 1000 years? It's even held a charge. A bank account that the bank has allowed to collect interest for 1000 years with out deciding to charge "a nominal administrative fee"? A bank card from 1000 years ago that still works in the ATM? Good point on the schooling too. Even think about how languages evolve over time. I'm surprised that Amy can talk to and understand anyone. I'm enjoying the story but I've already suspended disbelief pretty completely. Toni, if you are listening, as I see it you could have probably made the story more believable if you'd only advanced time 100 years. Hey, but maybe you've got a plan to have it all make sense somehow.
Comments here are close to crossing the line
When you comment, do not use comments to suggest the author is in any way like the story written. Several here have come close to doing just that and Im saying right now - don't! This is a story, its not real life. The author is in no way shape or form like what some commenters were inferring to insidiously. Its ok to dislike the story and explain why you dont. Let's not let a story plot or feature turn us into raging animals. Authors write various styles and themes. If they didn't, this site would be boring. Please understand that and not go personal?
The author can be hurt from these types of attacks and ultimately will result in them not posting or writing. Think before you post a comment. Clarify what points you wish to make, and be constructive even if you disagree?
BigCloset TopShelf
Good so far...
Very good so far. I like how you progressed the story, also how you explained the trillions in bank.
I have to agree with Puddintane on Amy parts. She isnt innocent at all in situations that happened to her. I just hope that in the future her part will be brought up to her. As you said in the story about karma. Amy may get things a bit easy on her actions, because of her accident, but as things are looking, that wont last very long. I would love a situation where her past actions will come back and bite her in the a** :P. It goes with all the choices and consequences.