‘Life’s a bitch’ — Chapter 5
By Julie D Cole

Further lead up to the events in Chapter 1 explaining how michael lost his job and took the opportunity to take an assignment intended for his rival Vanessa that involved a trip to Hong Kong and cash reward.

So now for some comfy shoes and how to fool the PA into believing I was Vanessa the bitch and handing over the goods?

Easier said than done.

First the comfy shoes bit. Not exactly what fits with the outfit? Who wears comfy shoes with a skirt? Well I supposed I could go for the black ballet option but that was hardly Vanessa’s style and I needed something a little more feminine if this was going to work. I never saw Vanessa in anything but heels and the options were limited. Amy is more the clumpy shoe type or the lace up boot sort of a girl. Maybe I should scrap the idea and find a plan B. Luckily there was the one pair that might work but they were well worn. On the upside they fitted but on the downside not exactly Vanessa.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Then even if I looked the part how to convince this PA girl if I had no proof of identity. I didn’t need to be Vanessa or even dress like this and I could stick with the original plan to go as myself.

In the end I decided to go for it and to use the security card I’d picked up from Vanessa’s desk and one of her business cards. More fool her for leaving them lying around.

I practised waling in the shoes and to be honest this wasn’t going to work unless I could master the technique of walking without feeling self-conscious. Who invented these things? Some Italian I guessed but was it fashion or to stop girls running away? Probably someone like Sophia Loren was first to promote them or maybe Bridget Bardot. Or even Marilyn Monroe? Was this shoe style really so old?

Thank God for the internet and You tube. I found a few videos describing the best techniques for walking and it helped a lot. I couldn’t resist looking at a film clip of a movie about Marilyn Monroe making a film in England. She was all girl and what a butt. I breathed in and tried to move a little bit of my excess body fat around. I had the curves just like Marilyn but unfortunately they were all in the wrong places. Not much I could do about it unless they sell miracle body shapers. Still nobody was expecting a model.

I plucked up the courage and loaded up a shoulder bag, applied some make up and decided I needed to get my butt moving before the office closed. To save time I took a cab. Quite a charmer as a cabbie but then they can all chat. My cabbie was definitely checking me out but I seemed to pass his examination. I think he could have got a job at Heathrow airport if the body scanners ever broke down. But still he didn’t challenge my sexuality so maybe he didn’t have X-ray eyes after all. I tipped him and he was happy. So I was now standing in the middle of a busy pavement looking for the agent’s office. Not exactly the best area of London to hang around. Close to Soho and better to be visiting in daylight hours than after dark. I pressed the buzzer and tried not to speak with too deep a voice.

‘Hi Vanessa. We’d almost given you up. We’ve been trying to call you and no reply. Please come up to the second floor since I have to leave shortly so not much time.’

A stroke of luck at least. I looked at my spare mobile. 3 missed calls but I’d left it in silent mode. Lucky I gave her boss this number rather than her call Vanessa at the office again and get her mobile number. Let’s hope my luck holds.’

Blast I spoke too soon. No lift it was out of order. That means two flights of stairs to climb and in a skirt and heels. Good job there was nobody around to see me decide how to do this without looking like a muffin. I soon learned that stilettos weren’t designed to make life easy. The high heels were definitely not an aid to climb stairs. I had to quickly find the technique how to transfer more of my weight to my toes or I could have broken a heel and ended up arse over tit so to speak. I heard that before somewhere. Sounds better than butt over tit and more appropriate terminology for a girl on her back with her legs in the air at the bottom of a flight of stairs.

I did ok. Well very OK in fact. It was a breeze. As I looked up on the second flight there was Katerina [Katherine I suppose] peering over the balustrade waiting to welcome me. I wobbled a bit as I tried to look as elegant as possible and let out a little scream. She leapt forward to take my hand. Where the scream came from I’d no idea but I guess it helped project the right image. She smiled and took my arm apologising for the lift being out of order.

‘Come in Vanessa. Glad you made it or we’d have been in trouble. It’s all a bit rushed as Tracey explained. We were let down yesterday and this is an important account. We’ve never met. I’m Katerina. Just call me Kat. Come in and I’ll make you a coffee whilst you check the brief. Is coffee alright?’

I was gasping since I realised how many cups I’d missed through not working. She had some brewing and she joined me on the sofa in case I had any questions. Her perfume was very strong and didn’t smell cheap. I hadn’t used any so I’d have to sort that out. Vanessa wasn’t the type to go out without a full spray. Still Kat had enough for both of us.

‘Any questions?’

‘No it seems pretty clear to me. Does this mean I’m staying in a private house rather than a hotel?’

‘You bet you are. Lucky you. It’s the owner you are interviewing and writing the article about. There are 2 others with you that includes the photographer. It’s probably going to be an Irish girl called Hilary Fitzgerald. She is great fun and she knows our client. I think she met him a few times and he has an eye for her. Still that’s how we do business. Personal contacts and the occasional bit of intimacy if you are lucky. You don’t mind do you?’

‘Are you saying I might have to prostitute myself? ‘I even shocked myself. Shit why did I say that?

“Of course not. We don’t do that in our business. it’s cash up front dear in an envelope.’

She laughed as she said it. I was learning more about Vanessa and how could this bitch take my job? Was she sleeping with someone? It was certainly not the HR Manager. I couldn’t see them together. Vanessa wasn’t going to be interested unless there was something between the legs. Oh Oh what was I saying? No chance. I should be so lucky..

So after my preparation I didn’t need to prove my identity. I guess was lucky to arrive late and Kat seemed to accept me as Vanessa. I gave her a business card anyway in exchange for the brown envelope. Fair exchange indeed. Should I count it in front of Kat? I decided to do it later and if it wasn’t cash then there was no deal.

That was it since clearly Kat was heading somewhere and so she decided to lock up and leave at the same time as me. As she set the alarm she turned and spoke out.

‘You do realise that you’ll need to use your identity card and also I suggest your wear the name tag with our details don’t you. It’s in the envelope.’

I’d seen it but now how to deal with the identity card. We don’t carry them and use our passports as photographic evidence to back up our security tag. I needed a time out to think about how to deal with this but at least I had the cash and it wasn’t in Vanessa’s greedy paws.

She let me go first and I tried to be as elegant as possible. If going upstairs was a challenge then going down again was even worse. I had to turn sideways on and go one step at a time. I had thought about removing my shoes but what woman does that? Kat was like a ballerina compared to me and her heels were at least an inch higher than mine. Probably 2” more like.

We got down the first set of stairs but halfway down the lower flight bang. The heel snapped on my left shoe. Grrrrr. I managed to grab the bannister but dropped the envelopes. Naturally the thick one burst open and the bank notes spilled out. Kat laughed out loud again. ‘Now that’s what I call confetti. You can come to my wedding if you like.’

We gathered them and I managed to get most into my bag. Kat was laughing at me.

‘I wish I was coming to Hong Kong with you V. It would be a real hoot and I never get chance to get out of the office except for errands for Tracey. Oh you are so comical. A real calamity. It serves you right for wearing those old things. They don’t last forever you know. Look the heel was loose.’

‘They were my favourite shoes. No more though. At least it was the heel that snapped and not my ankle.’

I limped the rest of the way and it just made Kat laugh more. She almost wet herself.

‘You must get in touch when you get back and let me know how you went on. Especially if you drop lucky. Come on V. Oh Oh it’s raining outside so now what? ‘

‘Just my luck I’m going to have to take my other shoe off and get my feet soaked I suppose. It’s not my day today.’

‘come on please let me help you. Let me take the package and you can share a taxi with me. I’ll drop you off outside a shoe repair shop or why not treat yourself to a new pair. I can drop you somewhere on the way to my nail appointment. Is that OK with you??’

I nodded acceptance and I didn’t have much choice since walking in heels was a big enough challenge never mind hopping on one leg.

‘Which way are you going? Have you far to go?’

I didn’t want to say so I just shrugged my shoulders. ‘Anywhere will do.’

She dropped me on Kensington High Street right outside Clarks shoe shop. Not the most fashionable shop in London but it was a shop I’d been in before and I knew it was easy to get served without causing a stir. It was busy and I was able to look without being pestered. I even tried a couple of pairs without anyone standing over me. I decided to buy them both since at least they were mine and I didn’t have to borrow Amy’s and lose them or ruin them in Hong Kong. I picked up some flats and a pair of wedges too so lost one pair in the bin and gained four pairs. Amy won’t miss the odd pair.

As I paid I used my card. The assistant looked me in the eye as she checked the card details but didn’t say anything. No doubt she was happy with the business and the pin number worked so what.

I stood in the doorway now with two big bags in hand and pushed the envelopes into one of them. The rain had stopped. I thought about the options for the identity card. Just off the other end of the High Street was the small company who made our security tags and cards and with luck I might just catch a friend who might help me. I called on my mobile. I was lucky he was still in the shop so said he’d wait. The question was did I have the courage to tell him what I was doing and why I was dressed like this?

He was no big fan of Vanessa and had a few run ins with her so I reckoned he’d help.

It takes about 15 minutes to walk to the other end of the High street or 23.5 minutes in new shoes with heels.

I took a deep breath and went into the shop.

‘Sorry madam we are closed. I’m just locking up and I’m waiting for a friend.’

‘OK if you don’t want the business.’

‘Michael is that you? What’s going on?’

To be continued…….. .