I Ain't Gay! Chapter 8
Copyright 2013 by Heather Rose Brown

In this chapter, Tanner and Mel find themselves in deep, deep trouble.
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The bedroom door openened. I felt Mel's breath behind my ear as she whispered, "Oh shit." An older, shorter-haired version of my friend walked in, looked at us, and ... kept looking at us.

Centuries came and went. Polar ice caps grew and shrank. Stars were born, grew old, then exploded into breathtaking clouds of gas and dust. Finally, the woman set down the basket of clothes she was holding, stood up, looked at us again, then said in a slow, controlled voice, "What ... are ... you ... two ... doing?"

Some part of me that had found a moment to not be terrified realized Mel had moved from behind to beside me when she said, "Mom, I can explain."

"Melissa Jane Gilbert! Was it not just three weeks ago your father and I had forbidden you to be alone in the house with another girl?"

"But Mom, I-"

" 'But Mom' nothing!" her mother shouted. I had to lean back to avoid getting my nose clipped when she swung her arm towards me and added, "I found you in here with a half naked girl!"

My brain was running slow, being mostly busy organizing the all out terror. None the less, it eventually started lining up one thought against another, then came to a realization: Mel's mom thought I was a girl. My mouth found out about this and, ignoring all thought of protecting the rest of my body, opened up and said, "I ain't a girl."

The woman turned to me and made a noise somewhere between a cough and a snort that was trying to not sound like a chuckle. There were lines around her eyes that looked like she was about to laugh, but that look soon turned into a frown as she said, "Young lady, if you're going to lie to me, please don't insult my intelligence with something quite so ridiculous."

My brain, still pretty busy, filed that comment for later. Although a little too late, my mouth finally realize what kind of trouble we were in, and wisely stayed closed.

Mel made herself a serious contender for sainthood when she drew her mom's attention off me by saying, "But Mom, we weren't in the house alone. You were here."

The woman glared at her daughter for a second. The glare cooled to a stern look when she said, "That may be, but you did break the rule about having your door closed when another girl was in your room."

Me, my brain, and my mouth, after wading through a flood of fear, bumped into each other at the rescue center of hope, then managed to get coordinated enough for me to say, "Actually, I'd closed the door."

At first, it looked like Mel's mom was going to accuse me of lying again. Instead, she asked, "Are you saying you closed the door without knowing my daughter wasn't allowed to have it closed when another girl was in her room?"

I nodded and said, "Yes ma'am."

"You may call me Mrs Gilbert."

"Sorry Mrs Gilbert."

"It's okay," she said as some of the sternness slipped from her voice. "And what may I call you?"

"Tanner."

I wasn't sure if she didn't realize Tanner was a boy's name or if it was something else, but she didn't show any surprise when she said, "Okay, Tanner. Even though you lied to me once, I'm inclined to believe you're being truthful now."

I almost melted into a puddle of relief as I said, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. I have one more question for you."

Even though I didn't think my nerves could handle another question, I doubted I could get out of answering it, so I said, "What's that?"

"What are you doing with your top off?"

"Well," I said while trying to fight off another bout of panic, "I was in the closet, trying to put on one of Mel's bra's, but I was having trouble with the back, so I came out to ask for help, and then ... well ... you came in."

Mel's mom tilted head, then said, "You don't look old enough to need a bra."

The indignation of being told I wasn't old enough for anything, even if it was a bra, riled me up enough for me to blurt out, "I'm thirteen!"

The last of Mrs Gilbert's sternness melted away, then she smiled at me as she said, "Ah, I see." She turned to her daughter and asked, "Is that why you let her try on your padded bra?"

Mel, looking as shocked and relieved as someone who'd come within inches of being run over by a tractor trailer, slowly nodded as she said, "Uh ... yeah."

My friend's mom sighed as she looked between her daughter and me, then said "Okay, I'm going to take it on faith that this situation is as innocent as the two of you say it is." She turned to her daughter and said, "You're not in trouble, but I think you, me, and your father will need to discuss clarifying the ground rules when he comes home for lunch." She then turned to me and said, "I think it'd be best if I took you home. Where do you live?"

"Well," I said while wondering how I'd explain to my parents why I was being brought home by a stranger, "I live a ways from here. I could just-"

My friend interrupted saying, "Actually, she's staying with Barry for the weekend."

Her Mom looked liked she was running through a list of Barry's in her head before she said, "Oh, you mean your summer job boss next door?"

"Uh huh. He's her uncle."

Mrs Gilbert nodded her head, then turned to me and said, "Go ahead and put your top back on, then I'll walk you back to your uncle's house."

"Okay," I said as I started reaching behind my back. "Lemme just see if I can undo this."

"Wait!" Mel's Mom said as she grabbed my arm. "What are you doing?"

"I'm ... giving back Mel's bra," I said, wondering what all the fuss was about.

"Oh honey, you don't have to give it back now. You can return it later, after you get back to your uncle's and have some place private to change."

I had no idea how I would explain why I was wearing a bra to Uncle Barry. On the other hand, I had just avoided getting skinned alive by Mel's mom. Of the two, I figured I had a better chance with my uncle, so I smiled at Mrs Gilbert and said, "Okay," then wandered back into the closet to find my shirt ... I mean top.