Divide by Zero and Conquer
Copyright 2024 by Heather Rose Brown
This is a story about what I wish I could have said when a teacher said you couldn't divide by zero. Even though it's not a tg story, it was fun to write, so I thought I'd share. Enjoy!
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The tiny pane of glass rattled in its frame as I pounded on the door to room 104. The door finally opened a crack and a flustered Mister Harris peeked out. "What in the -- Melissa, is that you? Aren't you in fourth grade now? What are you doing here?"
I ignored his questions and shoved my way past him. I glanced at the chalkboard and ground my teeth at what I saw. Turning on the classroom full of third graders, I just barely managed to keep my temper under control as I asked, "So he's teaching you about division, huh?"
A couple of heads nodded. "Well," I said as I grabbed an eraser and started clearing a space for myself on the board, "I've got something to tell you that he's trying to keep from you."
A heavy hand fell on my shoulder. "Miss Anders, what do you think you're doing?"
I yanked my shoulder away and glared at my former teacher. "I'm just telling them the truth."
Mister Harris folded his arms and frowned. "What truth might that be?"
My hands were shaking, but I managed to control my voice as I asked, "What do you get when you divide by zero?"
The teacher frowned and said, "You can't."
"LIAR!" I shouted.
I think I was almost as shocked as he was when I threw the eraser at his face. After carefully brushing chalk dust from the shoulders of his jacket, he reached for the phone on his desk and began dialing. I knew he would be calling the principal, which meant I only had a few minutes to make my point.
"Listen up," I said as I turned back to the class. "You can divide by zero! Now, I know you ain't been taught algebra here yet. They don't teach it in my grade neither, which is why I had to figure it out on my own. Trust me, it ain't as hard as they try to make you think. Just hang in there with me, okay?"
I felt the tiniest bit of hope when a number of the blank, confused stares turned curious. I just had to believe that curiosity would get at least a few of them to think about what I had to say. Turning back to the board, I began writing what I hoped would be a simple equation. "N, which stands for any number, divided by zero, equals infinity. Now, I know that may sound like just a lot of words, but I can prove it's true."
I began scribbling a graph and added a long, curving line. "This is called a hyperbolic curve. As you move along this graph here, dividing by smaller and smaller numbers, the line goes higher. By the time you get to zero, the line has reached infinity."
Before I could explain anything more, the classroom door swung open. The principal and the teacher of the class I was supposed to be in strode up to me. Without a word, they both grabbed me by an arm.
As I was being dragged out of the classroom, I shouted, "Remember, you can divide by zero! It's all part of their plan to conquer free thought. Think before you believe!"
Comments
Lovely story
Can you write a sequel where they introduce Complex Numbers (square root of -1 and all that)
Samantha
Complex numbers are awesome!
I'm a long time fan of the Mandelbrot and Julia sets. If it weren't for complex numbers, I'd never have discovered the depth and beauty of those sets. I'm not sure how I'd include complex numbers in a story, but it def sounds like a fun idea! :)
For the math enthusiasts:
For the math enthusiasts: what do you get when you try to integrate 1/x ?
Hrmmm ...
I've got a vague idea of what integrals are, but I don't really know how to integrate numbers. The only reason I know about them was because I'd been readin' a book called The Integral Trees by Larry Niven.
Larry's Book
Was a beauty. Those trees, existing in a virtual no-gravity zone, with the distinctive curve on each end. One of his best.
The first TG character ...
... I'd ever seen in a story was in The Integral Trees. Even though I hadn't even heard of transgender people I definitely felt a kinship with that character. I wish I could remember her name.
The *principles* of calculus
The *principles* of calculus are easy. It's actually working things out that's a pain.
Start with a graph of the function you want to integrate (or to get the derivative of).
Derivative is "easy". it's just the slope of the function.
Integral is a bit harder. It's the area under the curve. That is you take the limits, draw vertical lines on the page at the limits. You wind up with a section of the curve between them. You also end up with a section of the x-axis between them.
The integral is the area bounded by those lines.
Easy to describe, easy to draw, can be a nightmare to work out on your own.
Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks
That was easier than I'd expected.
At least, it was easier to understand than I'd expected. I have no doubt it'd be harder to work out on my own.
I learned calculus in the early 80s
According to Google, the integral of 1/X is ln(X)
When I solve it, I get 1/0 + C
Well, I was planning on going through my old calculus book, anyhow.
Since Y equals 1/X is a hyperbola that asymptotically approaches both the X and Y axes, the function blows up. So, it really looks like the area under the curve is infinite. So, 1/X is probably correct.
Yep, we have a winner. :-)
Yep, we have a winner. :-)
So, "1/0 + C" can be infinity, but it can also be ln(x). In short, it can deliver anything (except, maybe, complex numbers). Therefore it's called an indefinite expression. And care must be taken what to do with it.
Many years ago ...
... before computers were ubiquitous, we had electro-mechanical calculators at work. One he childish things we did was to set one off doing a divide by zero and watch it try - frantically whirring away, potentially for hours!
We Did That Too!
In the days of TenKeyMasters (Burroughs Machines) we would wait until the operators (all girls) went for lunch and set all their machines to divide by zero. Great fun!
I vaguely remember ...
... seeing a mechanical calculator. I think it had belonged to one of my uncles. I think it only added and subtracted, though. I'm sure I would have gotten into serious trouble if I'd tried to divide by zero, and it went crazy. Still, it might have been fun to see what would have happened. ;)