Chapter 3

Wednesday, the day after Christmas, was one of action. Early in the morning, Cynthia drove Jamie to Bowie so she could spend December 26, 27, and 28 fulfilling her pre-dance promise to return to the Charm School Inc. Academy. Cynthia returned home since Jamie would be spending the entire three days and two nights on the intensive lessons in girlhood.

When the staff at the Charm School Inc. Academy were delighted once they had learned Jamie had been chosen queen of the dance. When they learned the teens were forming a band and Jamie was going to be the lead vocalist, they made sure to include basic jazz dance moves in her deportment lessons. Her voice coach made sure to teach her to sing from her diaphragm and how to modulate her voice.

*****

The down side of the day was when the tenant farmer on the newest portion of the Clan Wells Point refused to accept Larry as his boss. The man was a dyed in the wool redneck who had not been happy to be living near the Clan and the two transsexuals. When the Campbells bought the farm and joined the Clan he was angered. When Jamie came out at the Christmas dance... a third transsexual neighbor it was the last straw. Not only was his new boss a punk kid, he was actually engaged to and living with one of the transsexuals. When Larry stopped by the day after Christmas to review the eco-changes he planned for the farms, it was more than he could handle. In very coarse language, he exploded.

Larry kept his cool which only further infuriated the bigot. When the vile tirade finally ran out of steam, Larry spoke. “You’re entitled to your opinion, Mr. Dunn, even if it is wrong. While I certainly don’t agree with it, I respect your right to it. I will, however, insist, that as part of your employment, you do not voice it to the three fine young ladies you’ve disparaged. I also respect your abilities as a farmer and expect you to adapt to the eco-changes that will become standard on this farm. As to your opinion of my capabilities as a farmer, I am inexperienced but have never claimed to be an authority on what I’m doing. However, I am educated, am reading up on the State Department of Agriculture’s recommendations and have joined the Talbot County Farm Bureau plus have old Bill as my mentor. I’ll learn on the job and will ask your advice when appropriate. If you can not do this, you’re welcome to leave. In fact, if you feel so strongly about what the Clan Wells Point is doing, I’ll let you out of your lease and return your security deposit if the property is not damaged.”

“Like hell,” Mr Dunn scowled. “You don’t have the authority to do that!”

Larry took out his cell phone and dialed a number while speaking to Mr. Dunn. “You do know that Kevin Stewart is the attorney for the Clan Wells Point?”

“Yeah,” Mr Dunn replied more than a little chagrined.

Larry smiled as the phone was answered. “Mr. Stewart, could you please tell Mr Dunn that the Clan Wells Point has given me the authority to deal with farm employees and tenants as I see fit and that any offers I make them are binding?”

Mr. Dunn took the proffered phone and listened as his face paled. Then he returned the phone to Larry. “I don’t want to work for you or stay here, but I have no place to go.”

“We’re not hard asses, Mr. Dunn,” Larry replied. “If you continue to do your job, you can stay on for sixty days. We’ll give you a good job recommendation and my offer to release you from the lease still stands although I will put a time limit of February 29. That means I’m giving you your sixty day notice as required to end the lease from our side. If you are not gone by then or fail to do your job between now and then or the time you do vacate, you will be evicted and your security deposit will forfeit.”

Mr Dunn knew he’d bitten off more than he could chew. Times were changing and he and his ilk were being left behind. At least they weren’t throwing him out on his ass. “I accept your terms. I’ll do my job until I find something else and I’ll vacate as soon as I can afterwards.”

“Thank you,” Larry nodded. “If we see you are making a good faith effort to leave, we will be lenient.”

The men parted, both with butterflies in their stomach. Larry had crossed his first big hurdle as a business operator and a man.

*****

Later Wednesday afternoon Pat took Krista to see Dr. Sykes for her monthly TG check-up/counseling session. After the physical was completed and the joint mother/daughter session wrapped up, Krista surprised Dr. Sykes and Pat.

“Mom, can you please stay? I want to discuss my future treatment and you need to be here,” Krista began clearly nervous.

The women exchanged looks of concern but Pat remained seated.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” Krista began. “You know I thought about holding off taking female hormones and going off the testosterone blockers so I could make deposits in a sperm bank in hopes of finding a surrogate mother. Well, with everything that’s happened around me, that doesn’t seem worthwhile anymore. I mean, I’m sure Lyndi and Teri and LJ and Pete will have children so my family line won’t die out if I don’t have any genetic kids. After being around Sandi, I know an adopted child can be as loved and meaningful as a genetic child. The way I feel now, if I want to find a surrogate mother, it would be for Tony’s sperm.”

Krista paused to gauge the reception of her words. Seeing the women were waiting and she was not going to be chastised for thinking about Tony as her future mate she took a deep breath and continued. “I’ve really grown to dislike my dangly bits and want them gone. I know I’m too young to do what Kylie’s doing, but I know that taking female hormones will make my dangly bits smaller and less obtrusive. I’ve also read about a non intrusive procedure using surgical glue. The penis is glued back and the scrotum is used to make the groin look like a real girl. I’m also tired of being a stick. I’m the only girl in my class that hasn’t starting... well... blossoming. Even Jaz is starting to get curves and I want some too. You both told me when we talked about treatments before that I shouldn’t be so hasty to make up my mind about keeping my seed viable. At the time I wasn’t ready to listen or understand. Now I am. I want to become as physically girly as I can... no... I NEED to become as physically girly as I can. I’d like to have that procedure and to start taking estrogen and progesterone as soon as possible. I know it’d have to be in small amounts and I can accept that. I just need to start!”

Dr Sykes and Pat exchanged knowing glances as Krista watched them, afraid they were going to say no or even laugh.

Dr. Sykes pulled two prescriptions from Krista’s medical folder. Krista could see they were already filled out except for the date which Dr. Sykes immediately filled in before handing them to Krista. Krista accepted the scripts and looked at them clearly shocked.

“Princess,” Pat smiled as she placed a reassuring hand on Krista’s arm. “Dr. Sykes and I were just waiting for you to ask. We both know you’re ready to start this portion of your journey.”

“I’ve already spoken to a plastic surgeon in Baltimore who can do the non-intrusive procedure,” Dr. Sykes smiled. “I’ll call and see what I can set up for a Saturday morning.”

Krista bit her lips as tears of joy filled her eyes. So choked up she was unable to speak, she leapt from her seat and hugged her mom, then Dr. Sykes.

The next half hour consisted of the two women explaining to Krista how the hormones would effect her both emotionally and physically. Krista listened intently. After the visit was completed, Pat and Krista headed to the pharmacy to fill her prescriptions. They also picked up a couple of Cokes so Krista could immediately begin her new hormone regimen.

*****

The rest of the holiday week passed quickly. Dwayne and Phil came out to the farm on Thursday to visit Freddy and Barney. They were clearly jealous of the comradery of the Clan Wells Point teens and the idea of forming a band. Now that the pair had abandoned their old ways, they felt out of place in their old haunts. The entire atmosphere of their neighborhood had noticeably chilled since they’d come out at the dance and they simply wanted to fit in again. The friendship they’d found with the Clan Wells Point was comfortable and made them feel good. They secretly wished they could join the Clan. When they learned about the issues with the tenant farmer they perked up, wondering if they could get jobs working on the farm.

The teens used the holiday to begin learning how to play the piano and learning how to read music. The lessons began as a group function and would later split into smaller groups gathered around the various pianos. Freddy and Barney mentioned how lonely Phil and Dwayne had been, wondering if they were longing to become Clan Members as well as their interest in working on the farm.

This set Krista plotting. By Friday morning, she had spoken to Larry who only shook his head and chuckled. By the time the increased spring work load hit, Dwayne and Phil would be recovered enough to be useful workers. Next Krista spoke to Kevin Stewart. He was already representing the boys in dealing with the insurance companies which were balking at paying the high medical bills the treatments the boys received ran up. The wheels were in motion.

Kylie spent the week finishing up any repair jobs she was working on and making final arrangements to turn daily control of her new business over to Ed Nelson. The almost frenzied activity blunted her anxiety about her upcoming trip to Thailand.

*****

It was late Friday night when Jamie arrived home from her intense three day course at the Charm School Inc. Academy. While exhausted, she felt wonderful and confident in her presentation as a female. This didn’t mean she was satisfied with her appearance, but she had enough sense of self she could be herself in public. She now moved and spoke with an undeniable feminine grace and poise.

After the long hours and physical stress of her training, she slept in till noon. It was a bright warm sunny day in the high fifties with hardly a breeze. Ruth called Krista when Jamie headed into the bathroom for her morning ritual. Krista contacted the other Clan Wells Point teens as well as Dwayne and Phil. At 1:30 they appeared en-mass at the Ewell home. Jamie was surprised and delighted as they all gathered in the living room. It wasn’t until Ruth entered carrying a birthday cake with seventeen candles flickering that Jamie remembered it was her birthday!

The kids all broke out into a raucous chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ as Jamie blushed. It was her first birthday as a girl and she loved it! She took a deep breath and successfully blew out the candles... only to have them re-ignite. The surprise on her face made everyone laugh. Tony reached out and plucked the trick candles from the cake to drop them in a bowl of water. Naturally, he was wearing a welders glove. The gifts were small, mostly beauty products recommended by the Academy, but each also had a gift certificate to Charisma Clothing Boutique so she could add to her girlish wardrobe. The entire afternoon was spent talking and laughing as the teens had a great time.

*****

The teens really began to get into learning music. All had learned how to read music and could play simple scales and songs on the piano. Old Bill was glowing as he spent time teaching Jimmy to saw away on the fiddle. Larry enjoyed showing Krista how to play lead guitar. David did the same for Tony on bass guitar. Jaz practiced her flute and the piano

Leroy set his drum set up in the Wells Point Youth Rehab Hostel and taught Barney the basics. They had also downloaded several videos of one armed Rick Allen of Def Leppard playing the drums so Barney could pick up style pointers.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DNElq-qUsY & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRRVqu1t7Ik&feature=related) Being a top notch machinist and designer, Greg was able to design and build a set up for Barney that incorporated all the features Rick Allen used.

Once the adults saw the teens were indeed excited and serious about forming a band, they began to think about creating an appropriate practice studio. On the main farm, the third outbuilding across Longs Cove Lane from the house was a chicken house with attached heated shed. The second floor of the shed was thirty feet wide and twenty five feet deep. Robert said his crew could easily wire it for proper capacity and sound proof the large open room. The sound proofing would also add to the insulation. A heat pump would be added to supplement the heat and provide air conditioning for the summer. In addition, two powder rooms would be added to the second floor and a powder room and shower on the first floor.

*****

The Clan planned a New Years Eve Party to be held in the Ballroom of the B&B. There would be ample refreshments and food, music for dancing and just all round good companionship. The evening would start with a buffet meal at six followed by games and dancing. No one would leave as arrangements were made for everyone to spend the night. In addition to the Clan Wells Point members, Dwayne and Phil were invited along with their moms Norma Harper and Maureen Abott. They even invited “old” Mrs (Marjorie) Delp, the neighbor the boys helped. It turned out she was sixty seven, two years younger than ‘old’ Bill Dougherty.

The meal was a friendly, folksy supper with a lot of talking. Robert, Kevin, Jane and Steven managed to get Norma, Maureen and Marjorie away from the others. The women were stunned by the offer of membership in the Clan Wells Point that included the home the tenant farmer currently occupied as well as the jobs on the farm for the boys. Marjorie was surprised to learn the invitation included her with the suggestion she have the master bedroom suite as a sort of private area.

The three women exchanged sighs and looked each other in the eyes. The past week had been more than a bit tense. Their neighborhood was away from the touristy area of the community and away from the waterways. As such, while not poor, the homes were smaller and quite a bit less ostentatious. Most who lived there were low middle class with a preponderance of redneck good old boy mentality. The public outing of Dwayne and Phil at the Christmas Dance had not been well received. While there had been no confrontations, disapproving disgusted scowls from their neighbors seemed omnipresent. The single exception was Marjorie. With all the help the boys had freely given her she knew the boys were good people. She steadfastly supported the boys, to the point of getting into a few arguments with a couple of neighbors who had tried to put the boys down.

Marjorie Delp was a widow. Her husband had been among the last soldiers to be killed in Vietnam. As a young widow pregnant with her first child she had been devastated by the hatred much of the public heaped upon the ‘nam vets and their families. Raising her son alone had been tough which made her tough. Unfortunately, her son followed his father into the military and lost his life in Desert Storm in ‘91. The second death hit her even harder. All reason for living vanished from her life. Although she continued to work, she merely existed. It was only when two of her neighbors had babies that she snapped out of her stupor. Those babies, born twelve days apart in March 1995, were Dwayne and Phil. They quickly became her surrogate family, especially after the two husbands abandoned their new families.

When they rejoined the main group, Jane called for everyone’s attention so she could introduce the newest five members of the Clan Wells Point. Phil and Dwayne were stunned and overwhelmed by the many hugs and warm welcomes. They unreservedly accepted the job offers to work the farm.

“That means you guys can join our band, Certain Change,” Tony enthused. “Dwayne, start practicing your trombone, Phil, do the same with your trumpet! Having horns will really give us a unique sound!”

Dwayne and Phil had taken trombone and trumpet lessons in elementary school and had been quite good. Unfortunately when puberty hit, they both dropped out of the elementary school ban. Now the duo eagerly agreed to pick up where they’d left off. The other teens all agreed this was a great idea.

As midnight approached, they watched Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve 2008 on a big screen TV. Ryan Seacrest was co-host along with Dick Clark, whose voice had improved greatly since the previous year, his third year back on the broadcast after his stroke. Fergie again hosted the west coast party in Hollywood. During the ball drop at midnight, everyone divided up into couples or small groups. Naturally the husbands and wives grouped. Mrs. Delp was next to old Bill, Jane and Kevin were together, Larry and Kylie were already snuggled on a settee and Jamie was seated between Freddy and Barney. Jimmy and Jaz as well as Krista and Tony watched the ball with growing excitement.

When the ball hit bottom and the crowd in Times Square erupted, the couples kissed. Jamie gave Barney a quick buss then gave a longer kiss to Freddy as Barney grinned. Jaz and Jimmy and Tony and Krista sank into their kisses with snugly hugs, melting together in their first public passionate kiss. Seeing their friends kissing, Dwayne and Phil turned towards each other intending to ask each other if they should exchange a kiss, something they’d never done. They were standing side by side and as they turned their heads and opened their mouths to speak, their lips touched. Both froze as they looked deeply into the other’s eyes with their lips still touching as tingles of electricity jolted their nerves. As one they closed their eyes and pressed their lips together, quickly followed by their arms wrapping around each other as their tongues danced together. The adults chuckled at the guilty expressions on the blushing faces of the embarrassed teens when they finally broke their kisses. Everyone knew the couples were truly in love.

Most of the teens settled down with blankets, pillows and sleeping bags to watch the rest of New Years Rocking Eve. Jordin Sparks sang her song, "Tattoo” on the Times Square stage. Miley Cyrus was next up singing her songs "Start All Over" and "G.N.O. (Girl's Night Out)". Later, she also sang one of her Hannah Montana songs, "We Got the Party" as a duet with the Jonas Brothers. The Jonas Brothers performed their singles "Hold On" and "SOS". Carrie Underwood was the main performer and sang a medley of "Flat On The Floor", "All-American Girl", and "Before He Cheats". At the Hollywood party singers Plain White T's, Fergie, Sean Kingston, Natasha Bedingfield, Taylor Swift, will.i.am, and OneRepublic performed songs.

The adults ushered the younger children to their rooms and settled down for the night. The teen couples snuggled together under blankets before the big screens. The adults let them be since Larry and Kylie were with them as chaperones and they trusted the youths to not get too frisky. No one was really sure when they fell asleep.

*****

In Pennsylvania, quite a different New years Eve was occurring. The only similarity was that Dick Clark’s New Years Rockin Eve was also on the TV. Five minutes after the ball dropped thirteen year old Justin Raven was struggling to his feet wiping the blood running from his nose and split lip with the back of his hand. The drywall on the wall he’d impacted was crushed in the shape of his body. It was sheer luck he’d hit the wall between studs, otherwise the pain coursing through his battered body would have been much greater. Even so, Justin was achy and dazed. Charlie Raven, in a drunken rage had turned his brutal attention towards his wife, Lorraine, when she interrupted his assault on Justin. Pushed backwards over the dining room table, Lorraine was already unconscious as the furious man choked her.

Despite his spinning head, Justin picked up one of the many empty twelve ounce green Rolling Rock beer bottles. Stumbling from the damaged wall and leaning on furniture for support, he made his way to his father as rapidly as he could. Steeling himself, Justin drew in a deep breath. As he covered the last three feet he grasped the neck of the bottle with both hands and raised it above his head. The difference in balance almost caused him to fall as his knees wobbled. Fighting to stay on his feet and maintain his concentration, he swung the bottle at the back of his father’s head with all his strength.

The jarring impact was too much for Justin as he lost his balance falling against his father’s back before rolling to the floor. Justin never felt his head bounce off the floor as it knocked him unconscious.

Twenty minutes later Justin regained consciousness. His head throbbed. The only sound was the raucous celebration of New Year’‘s Rockin’ Eve 2008 still coming from the TV. Simply lolling his head hurt. Steeling himself he fought back fear and nausea as he gathered his senses. It took a few minutes until he realized his hair hurt when he moved his head because it was matted to the floor by the drying sticky blood pool around his head. At the same time he realized the difficulty he felt breathing was because his nose was blocked with congealed blood. On the good side at least the bleeding had stopped. Except for the TV the rest of the house was still. Slowly he rolled over, wincing as he wrenched his chin length red hair from the gooey jelled blood. Looking up from the floor he saw his parents were still sprawled on the table, mom leaning backwards on the bottom with dad on top. Neither was moving. Slowly, Justin sat up, causing his head to swim. The throbbing pain in his head kept time to the pounding of his heart, making him wince with each heartbeat. As the spinning room settled a bit, he pulled himself to his feet, leaning on the back of a chair for support.

The back of his father’s head was caved in, the imprint of the bottom of the beer bottle clearly visible in his shaven head. Blood and brain was already drying where it had oozed out of the broken skull. Reaching around the clearly dead man, he took his mother’s hand. It was limp and cold with no pulse. Tears flowed down his cheeks as he noted his dad’s hands were still locked around her throat with the tips of his thumbs buried into her flesh. The vertigo increased and Justin dropped to his knees and vomited everything he’d eaten that evening. By the time he finished heaving, the dizziness passed. Taking a few deep breaths, he once more pushed himself to his feet.

Justin staggered to the couch and flopped down, crying torrents. The sour taste in his mouth and burning in his throat went unnoticed. It wasn’t that he hadn’t anticipated a beating when he told his parents. In fact he’d fully prepared himself for one, even going so far as to post his plans for the night on Facebook so that if he didn’t survive, the world would know the truth. What he had not foreseen was his mother coming to his aid. She’d never before interfered when his dad was beating him so he’d had no idea she would do so that night.

Now he was an orphan. While his parents had not been loving and in truth cold, they had provided food and a place to live. The only family he had left was his paternal grandparents and they were even worse bigots than his dad. Justin had no doubt they’d make his life an even bigger hell than it had been.

With a shudder he recalled his life. Some of his earliest memories were being yelled at and belittled for being afraid to aggressively play on the soccer field, for shutting his eyes and holding his glove before his face when a line drive was hit to him and for crying when he was made to stick a worm on a hook. The trauma of having his beloved stuffed animals shredded in the branch chopper was still a vivid preschool memory.

Oh, he learned to be tough but he never adapted to the rough and tumble life he was expected to live. Being a sissy was simply not an option that had been open. Sports and family fishing and recently hunting had been a requirement of his life. Grandpa was even more demanding than his dad. Justin had learned to subdue his inner sensitivity, projecting a quasi tough guy persona. No one noticed the paucity of smiles or the lack of friends. Justin had often contemplated suicide, but never developed the courage to do more than think about doing the deed.

His dismal life became a tad more bearable four years previously when he was in the fourth grade. By that time Charlie had come to the begrudging realization Justin would never be a jock. That didn’t mean the boy didn’t have to try. But the disappointing failures became so normal the scolding and chastisement was blunted.

That malevolent status quo cracked the day Justin did the unthinkable. Forced to play Pop Warner Football, Justin was a seasoned bench warmer. Like most teams, every player was placed on field for at least one play. It was near the end of the game. The offense took over the ball on the fifty with twenty seconds left. Justin’s team was up by one. They intended to merely play out the clock.

Justin was too small to play on the line and too afraid to run a pattern. The best he could do was scurry about behind the line in an attempt to distract the defense. The ball was snapped. The quarter back looked to fake a pass before going to ground. He never saw the guy coming in from his blind-side. The impact was hard and the football popped loose from the quarterback’s grasp before he went down. Several hands touched the ball as it was bobbled about. Justin’s back was towards the play so he turned to see what was going on... just in time for the ball to gently hit him in the chest. By instinct he clutched the ball, not knowing what to do... until he saw the opposing players rushing him. Justin turned and ran... away from the line of scrimmage. The shouts of NO from his teammates, coaches and dad sounded like GO. Not wanting to be smeared, Justin went... right into the endzone... where he was tackled. Due to the Safety, suddenly his team was down by one.

The game resumed with five seconds on the clock and was over all too soon. Needless to say Justin was crucified by his teammates, coaches, the other parents and his father. Charlie was so livid he grabbed Justin and dragged him to his Explorer, throwing him in the front seat. Stones flew from the tires as he tore out of the parking lot.

“I don’t know why I saved your worthless fucking hide,” Charlie swore. “I should have let them beat the shit out of you! How can you be so freaking stupid! A Safety... a freaking Safety after a fifty yard wrong way run! My God, just how fucked up are you? I’ll never live this down! My son... MY SON... a fucking waste!”

Justin did his best to sink into his seat. While he wasn’t sure what had happened, he understood he’d screwed up big time and cost the team the game. The harsh condemnation was true. He was a waste. He’d never been any good. As a boy he was a complete failure. It took all his strength to hold in his tears and fears. In his heart he understood if he cried or whined or even just opened his mouth he was in deep shit.

Charlie was beyond pissed. Thankfully he was also sober. Killing the boy would not be allowed. In frustration he smashed the PLAY button on the CD player. Lonesome George Thorogood and the Delaware Destroyers sprang to life playing Bad to the Bone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AozJBa3Q-1s “Now that’s an appropriate song for you,” Charlie sneered as his hands picked up the beat on the steering wheel.

Justin sadly agreed. Then something happened... something that saved what little self esteem the nearly shattered boy had. Buddy Leach let rip with the sax solo. (2:40 into the song) The wailing sax jumped into Justin’s soul. “That’s what I can do,” Justin whispered as he raised his chin from his chest.

“What?” Charlie snapped.

“I could do that! We just had a class at school where they want us to learn instruments,” Justin said with mounting excitement. “The sax... that’s me... I can DO that!”

Charlie was still super pissed but for the first time he saw a spark in Justin’s eyes. The kid was serious. Saxophone... Band... when he’d been on the highschool football team the band had been full of geeks... band geeks... but they did pump up the football team. At least in the bleachers Justin couldn’t fuck up an entire game. While it certainly was something he’d never have considered, being a band geek seemed better than a being a spaz on the field. There was no way Charlie could ever again risk being so humiliated by his inept son. So although it ate at him, he’d never force the boy to join another team. “We’ll see,” Charlie finally muttered. “You sure as hell can’t get any worse!”

Justin never went back to the team and did get a sax. It did speak to him and he spoke through it. The pressure to be a sports jock eased, but not the requirement to be involved in sports. Justin meekly accepted the new status quo. By the end of seventh grade he was lead sax in the junior high band and had a place in the jazz band.

While the music helped, it still did nothing to answer why he was so out of sync with nearly everything else. Then near the end of August his hopes first rose and then crashed. The news story about how a transsexual girl in Maryland had led her sisters on foot from Massachusetts and then killed a murderer who had kidnaped her. A girl who was born a boy... a boy who never quite fit into life as a boy... just like him! Could he be like her? Was that the answer to his many failures? If he was a girl how could he even hope to behave like a guy?

But the reaction of his parents and grandparents to Krista’s exploits ruined his joy. They vociferously condemned Krista for her perversion, ignoring her value as a person... just like they did to him. Wisely Justin was able to conceal his disappointment at their bigoted outrage.

A month later his hopes again soared when he saw the news of the cheerleaders singing “Mickey”, led by Krista, awaken the comatose girl. Attached to that was a sub-story about how Krista had rescued Sandi. This time when he cautiously pointed out her exploits in hopes they could see she was a good person, they threw their disgust and condemnation at him.

“What the fuck is it with you and that pansy,” Charlie snarled. “Don’t even try to tell me you like the freak!”

“I didn’t say I liked her,” Justin backtracked. “I just said she’s done some good things.”

“She... you better mean IT,” Charlie raged as the beer he had consumed began to talk. “Fucking Hitler even did some good stuff! At least he tried to kill the fucking Jews instead of letting them own everything!”

Justin knew enough to back away and let his father rant. Why did his father hate Jews? Why did he hate Krista? Why did he hate his son? Justin fled the room as soon as he safely could. Krista’s success only exacerbated his anguish and frustration. That he was jealous of her was clear, but he admired her, she was his hero. Quietly he began researching transsexuals and gender dysphoria. The more he learned the more he became convinced he was transgendered. There was no way in hell he could ever come out to his family.

At school he began to check out the girls. Not lustily like most boys, more like scoping out the competition. Tomboyish types held little interest for him as they were too close to his current existence. Girls who were fashion mavens also held little interest as they seemed too superficial. Those who dressed to tease were dismissed out of hand. It didn’t take him long to decide he liked girly-girls. They clearly enjoyed their girlishness. Their ability to hug, to cry, or to giggle as the mood hit them spoke to his soul. There was little doubt in his mind the emptiness he’d felt all his life could be filled by living like those girls.

Still all Justin could do was dream and Krista became a part of those dreams and hope. At the same time knowing that he was a girl stuck in a boy’s yucky life led to more frustration than he’d ever experienced. For the first time he understood that ignorance could be bliss.

It was the news report about the Christmas dance that had galvanized his determination. Krista had not only encouraged another transsexual to come out, but the new girl had been elected queen of the dance! Then there was the added bonus of a pair of boys coming out as a couple to make things better. Krista truly was his hero. Again, the story had generated nothing but condemnation and ridicule from his family.

During the days that followed, the pressure became too great for him to continue living his now hated fake boy life. Justin made up his mind to reveal that he too felt like a girl trapped in a boy’s body. If by some slim chance at least someone in his family could accept and help him, that would be fantastic. Being realistic, Justin figured the blow up would result in his death, a sort of suicide by cop scenario. Coming out to his parents was his sole New Years Resolution.

After the ball had dropped, Justin rose and stood before his parents. “Mom, Dad, I need to tell you my New Year’s Resolution. I can’t continue to live like this. I’m like Krista Scott, that girl from Maryland. I’m transsexual. I’m a girl trapped in a boy’s body.”

“Justin, that is not funny,” Lorraine scolded.

“Fuck,” Charlie scowled as he stood up. “I’m going to kick your freakin’ ass just for saying something so stupid!”

“I know it’s not funny,” Justin bravely replied as he tried to control his trembling. “But it is the way I feel and I can’t keep hiding it. Plain and simple, it’s the truth. I am a girl born in a boy’s body. Dad, I fully expect you to beat me to death. At least if I’m dead, I won’t have to continue living a lie. So just get it over with, beat me!”

“Oh I’m going to beat you all right, you little fuckin’ fag!” Nearly insane with rage at Justin’s audacity, Charlie swung. A meaty fist connected via a savage right hook to Justin’s face. Blood seemed to explode from his nose and mouth as the force of the blow sent him reeling backwards into the wall. As Charlie went to follow through with the beating, Lorraine did the unexpected.

She stood and grabbed Charlie’s arm to stop him. “Charlie no, the damn kid is serious. He wants you to kill him!”

Those words and actions further infuriated Charlie. When she grabbed his arm he turned on her wrapping his hands around her throat choking her violently while shoving her across the room to the dining room table. “This is all your fault, you stupid bitch! You wanted me to knock you up after the prom! Then like a dumb fuckin’ cow you give me a faggot instead of a son! First I’m going to kill you, then I’m going to finish off the damn fag!”

*****