Chapter 8

Larry was all smiles when he, Rachel and Tony picked up Krista for church. “Kylie was released from the hospital this morning. She says she’s doing well, still a little tender, but doing a lot better. While she really wants to come home, she’s looking forward to at least getting out and seeing some of the local sites.”

“That sounds great,” Krista enthused. “I really miss her and I know you really do. Just a few more weeks and she’ll be coming home.”

“I know but it’s hard to wait,” Larry sighed. “I know I love her but I never realized how much having her with me meant to me. If I have anything to do with it, we’ll never be apart for too long ever again.”

No one doubted the sincerity of his words.

After church everyone headed home to change into work clothes. The youngsters gathered at the Campbells home while the teens and adults headed to the tenant farm next door. After a quick tour and division of chores they set to work cleaning the now vacant home. By late afternoon the house was spotless. Repairs were arranged and painting planned. Everything would be done for the move-in for the following Saturday.

*****

Krista noticed a classmate named Samantha Evans became quite nervous and anxious whenever she was around Jenny. Sam, as everyone called her, was the quintessential tomboy. No one could remember seeing her in a skirt much less a dress. She always wore her hair in a short style reminiscent of the singer Pink. She was the strongest girl in the class and one of the tallest. All in all she presented a tough no-nonsense image. All through elementary school she played and hung around with the guys. She had no fear of bugs or frogs and joined the boys in using those things to torment the other girls. In the last year however, Sam slowly changed from a gregarious ruffian to an almost painfully shy tomboy. The guys she used to hang with now seemed to ignore her. The truth was that Sam had no close friends and seemed to want it that way. She was curt and sometimes harsh to anyone who spoke to her. Naturally Krista thought this might have something to do with her especially after she found that Sam had quite a few friends in elementary school.

“Guys, do you have any idea what’s going on with Sam?” Krista asked. “She’s really making me a bit anxious. I’m getting the impression that she can’t handle transsexuals and now that there are three of us attending the school she seems really put out.”

“She started changing early last spring,” Phil acknowledged. “She just started staying away from us and going off on her own. Whenever we tried to invite her to go with us she just blew us off. After a while we just stopped asking her.”

“Yeah, she’s really gotten strange,” Dwayne agreed. “But now that you mention it, it does seem as if she has pulled even further away from everyone since you started school.”

Krista blushed as she spoke. “Do you think maybe she’s jealous of me because I’m Tony’s girl?”

“I doubt that’s an issue, Krista,” Tony answered. “She was keeping to herself all summer. From the first day of school this year she isolated herself and that was before she met you. But I don’t think I’ve seen her smile since last spring.”

“When we came back after the holidays she seemed even more unhappy,” Krista sighed. “And I think she’s gotten worse since Jenny started school. Something’s really eating her. I’m really concerned that she might flip out at some point.”

“I haven’t done anything to her,” Jenny said defensively since she was still unsure of people accepting her as a girl.

“You haven’t done anything to her,” Jaz reassured Jenny. “But I think Krista has a point, something is definitely bothering Sam. It’s obvious she’s unhappy. Do you think maybe someone’s molesting her?”

“No way,” chuckled Tony. “Her parents are great. Besides, if anyone even tried Sam would kick their ass. Heck when we used to wrestle she occasionally managed to pin me and she could pin the other guys. But there is something eating away at her.”

“So do you think we should try to help her?” Jenny asked. “Isn’t that what we do?”

“It sure is,” Krista nodded her head. “She always sits by herself in the cafeteria. I say tomorrow at lunch we surround her and see if we can figure out what’s going on. Maybe if we show her that we’re concerned and that she has friends she’ll open up and we can help her.”

The others agreed understanding that Sam really needed friends.

The next day the seven teens were a bit nervous as they took their trays of food and headed for the table where Sam always sat by herself. Sam looked up obviously startled when the teens took seats at the table where she was seated, surrounding her. It clearly unnerved her a bit to see they were all smiling in a friendly manner.

“I didn’t invite anyone to sit with me,” Sam defensively snapped.

“We know,” Tony replied. “Nobody has reserved seats here so we thought we’d sit here with an old friend.”

That answer was not what Sam had been expecting. “I don’t have any friends,” Sam said sharply with a little sadness in her voice.

“We’ve noticed that,” Krista smiled. “That’s why we’re here. Everyone needs friends.”

“Well I don’t,” Sam snarled as she went to get up from the table.

“Not so fast Sam,” Tony said calmly as he placed a restraining hand on her arm. “We won’t force you to be friends with us or anyone else. Sam, we used to be good friends. We never stopped being your friend but you stopped being ours. If you don’t want rekindle our friendship at least tell us why you walked away from us.”

Sam looked at the seven inquisitive faces and could tell they were all concerned about her. For the first time in almost a year she realized that she had indeed push herself away from her old friends. On top of that she did miss them. Part of her wanted to throw Tony’s hand off and to storm away. But another part of her longed for companionship. Everyone could see the turmoil in her face and eyes. But it wasn’t until she looked at Jenny that tears started forming in her eyes. “I can’t do this,” Sam choked out.

“What have I done to you?” Jenny asked as she too sniffled. The hurt she felt at Sam’s rejection threatened to break down her budding self-confidence.

Sam looked at Jenny and saw tears flowing down her cheeks. The tears in her own eyes began to flow also. “You’re showing me up, that’s what you’ve done. You and Krista and Jamie and Kylie, you’re all showing me up. I hate you all for that!”

Everyone was stunned by her anger and had no idea how to respond.

“So that’s it,” Krista said after a few moments as she realized what was happening. “You’re upset because we’ve come out as our true selves and you’re not able to do so.”

Sam looked at Krista as if she’d thrust a sword through her heart. Unable to control herself she threw off Tony’s hand and practically ran out of the cafeteria.

“I’m going after her,” Krista said as she stood. “The rest of you stay here. This needs to be done one-on-one.”

Krista hurried after Sam as everyone but Jenny exchanged looks of confusion.

“Oh my God,” Jenny gasped. “I think Sam may be a transsexual, a female to male transsexual.”

The others were obviously stunned by this revelation but it clearly fit the circumstances.

Krista cautiously followed Sam into the girls’ restroom. Sam stood before the sink rinsing her hands and wiping the tears from her face.

“Just leave me the fuck alone,” Sam snapped when she noticed Krista. “This is all your fault.”

“I don’t think so,” Krista brazenly replied. “Oh, I think my presence and actions had made things worse for you, but this started long before I arrived on the scene. The guys said you started pulling away from them last spring. That was before I even knew this place existed. So don’t go blaming me for this.”

Sam turned towards Krista with her fists clenched obviously enraged. “I’ll blame any freaking one I want,” Sam snarled. “You and your goody two shoes ways have made my life hell.” With that Sam sprang had Krista.

Krista was ready and easily dodged Sam’s attack. “Sam, don’t fight me, at least not here, not at school. If you insist on fighting me, let’s do so after school lets out and off school property. Then neither of us can be suspended. But honestly, fighting won’t solve anything. We need to talk this out. You need people on your side. If you’re going through what Kylie, Jamie, Jenny and I have gone through you can’t do it alone. There are professional people in town who can help. This problem can be fixed.”

“It’s too late to talk,” Sam thundered as she charged Krista once more.

“It’s never too late to talk,” Krista said as she faked out dodging to one side before quickly moving to the other snatching Sam’s arm as she stumbled past, twisting it up behind her back and shoving her face first into the wall. “You know I whipped Tony’s ass. Hell, I even killed a man, not that I’m happy about it, but I’m a hell of a lot tougher than I look. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to help you. We all do. Please, Sam, calm down and let’s talk this out.”

Sam struggled for a few moments as tears of frustration and anger flowed down her cheeks. When she realized she couldn’t get away from Krista, she gave up the struggle and began to cry in earnest.

Krista released the arm lock and wrapped her arms about Sam letting her cry.

A few girls came into the restroom, but turned around quickly when they saw Krista and Sam.

After a few moments Sam turned and returned Krista’s hug as she continued to sob. The bell rang for the next class to start, but the two girls didn’t budge. It took another five minutes for Sam to regain control. “We’re both going to get detention for being late to class.”

“If we do we do,” Krista stated calmly. “However, if we go to the nurse’s office and explain what happened, my mom give us a pass.”

“I can’t tell anyone what happened,” Sam sniffed. “I’m the tough one, I never cry.”

“Everyone cries,” Krista reassured her. “Even Tony has learned cry when appropriate. Being tough doesn’t mean you can’t cry. Crying simply means you’re human. Sam, I think you’re like me and the others, I think you’re transsexual... and you know it. What I’ve learned about girls is that they start puberty somewhere around 11 or 12, which means that you probably started puberty sometime late last winter. The exact time you separated yourself from your friends. You were ashamed of your development and ashamed of the way the hormones are making you cry. You probably didn’t know why you were reacting the way you did other than the fact that you hated the changes that were happening to your body and want nothing to do with maturing into a woman. When I showed up you realized that you were the exact opposite of me. You’re a boy trapped in a girl’s body. Until puberty hit, you were able to deny to yourself that you were girl by simply dressing like and hanging with the guys. Everyone thought you were tomboy and you got away with your boyish behavior. Now that puberty started you’re afraid to do that. You’re afraid of the ridicule you might receive when someone discovers you’re budding. Talk to me Sam. I’m your friend.”

“I hate being a girl! I always have!” Sam declared with disgust and self-loathing. “I never asked to be a girl! I never wanted to be a girl. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a boy.”

“Dr. Sykes can help you start on the road to becoming a boy, just as she’s helping Jamie, Jenny and I to become girls,” Krista soothed. “Saturday a week ago Kylie had the operation to turn her into a woman. This spring, what she’s healed up, she and Larry are going to get married. Pulling away from everyone as you have will not help you become a boy. All it’s doing is making you miserable and most likely making everyone who cares about you miserable too. Let us help you. We’ll support you and have your back. Just as I’ve blazed the trail here for boy to girl transitioning, you can blaze the trail for girl to boy transitioning. You won’t be alone. You’ll have at least seven of us as friends, but I’m sure there will be many more. You can’t hide what you are. Let Samuel come out. Be brave enough to face the world. You said you’re tough, this is how you’ll prove it. But you won’t be alone. Right here right now you’ve taken the first step. The next step will be heading to the nurse’s office to tell my mom what’s going on and get those passes.”

“I can’t,” Sam complained. “Your family has supported you, mine won’t help me. My mom has always been pushing me to stop being a tomboy. Since I started... you know... it’s gotten worse. She’s always wanted a girly girl daughter. Instead she has me, a poor excuse for a daughter who’s really a boy. Dad used to play sports with me until mom finally made him stop because she said he was turning me into tomboy. It didn’t matter to her that I wanted to do things with dad. All she cared about was that I was embarrassing her the way I behaved and dressed.”

“Let me ask you something,” Krista stated firmly. “I want a straight answer without hesitation. How many times have you thought about suicide?”

Sam looked up guiltily. “How do you know?”

“It’s par for the course for transsexuals,” Krista informed Sam. “The longer you put off getting help, the more often you’re going to think about suicide until eventually you try to kill yourself. You may succeed, but even if you don’t, how do you think that will affect your parents?”

Sam just looked at Krista as she pondered her words. She knew the answer. “My mother would never forgive herself. My dad would be really hurt too.”

“That’s what they need to hear,” Krista explained. “You need to tell them how you feel and just how desperate you are. You need to tell them you need to be a boy. Samuel needs tell them that you’ll kill yourself before you let yourself grow up to be a woman. If you want, my mother and I will go with you to tell them. We will have your back.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Sam sighed. “I know it’s what I have to do, but I’m scared.”

“That’s why you need friends who care about you,” Krista smiled. “Now, let’s get to the nurse’s office before they send out a search party for us.”

They exited the restroom and almost bumped into Dr. Harris. “So here you two are. I hope you have a good excuse for skipping class.” Even as he said that he could see Sam’s red eyes and knew there were personal issues involved. He’d become aware of Sam’s self-imposed aloofness. It didn’t surprise him in the least that Krista had apparently broken through the walls that Sam had erected.

“Yes sir, we do,” Krista answered without hesitation. “But right now we need to get to the nurse’s office.”

“I’ll escort you,” Dr. Harris agreed as he ushered the girls towards the nurse’s office.

For her part, Sam was obviously surprised that Dr. Harris capitulated so easily. But then she realized that Krista did indeed have a great deal of influence in the school. Her reputation was such that the staff respected her opinions. If Krista could do that maybe she really could help her with her problems.

Pat was not really surprised when Dr. Harris opened the door to the nurses office to usher the girls inside. She been aware that the duo had not made it to their class and had sincerely hoped that Krista had a good reason for missing class. Obviously she did or Dr. Harris would not have brought them to her office.

“I’ll need a brief report,” Dr. Harris told Pat before adding for Sam’s benefit. “Of course, it will be kept confidential.”

“Samantha, do you want to tell me what is going on?” Pat stated after seeing Krista flick her eyes meaningfully towards Sam.

Samantha hung her head unable to utter a word.

“Sam, you need to tell my mom,” Krista urged. “You need to get the ball rolling.”

After a few moments of uneasy silence Sam sighed deeply. “I... I’m a boy...”

“All right,” Pat agreed in a calm voice. “I’m guessing you need some help in convincing everyone that you are boy. Thanks to Krista, I have been getting a lot of experience in helping people become the gender they should be. I assume that Krista is the first person you’ve told about this. Or rather that Krista wormed the truth out of you.”

“Yeah,” Sam whispered.

“Okay, then we need to get your parents on board,” Pat stated calmly. “It might be better to call them in here so you can tell them in a neutral place. I’m sure Krista has already told you that she’d have your back. I will too. Now, I’ll call your parents and ask them to come in as soon as possible.”

Sam wanted to object but one look at Pat’s stern but caring face stopped any attempt to protest.

Krista and Sam sat and talked as they waited. Since Sam had not really spoken with anyone in nearly a year she was desperate for conversation, especially with someone who had insight and understanding about her issues. Their quiet discussions went a long way in soothing Sam’s nearly frazzled nerves.

It was 1:30 when Mary Ann and Gilligan Evans arrived at school office. Both were greatly concerned for their daughter whom they knew was having major issues. Despite their best efforts Sam had steadfastly refused to speak to them and except for meals stayed in her room. When the call from Pat first came they were worried that something bad had happened to Sam. They were relieved to know that physically she was fine but that there were issues that needed to be confronted. Dr. Harris greeted the parents and escorted them to the nurse’s office. As the worried parents entered the room they saw the red eyed terrified face of their daughter. After Dr. Harris introduced Pat and Krista he left.

“Thank you for coming in,” Pat said before turning to the girls. “Krista, please take Sam into the back room while I have a brief chat with her parents.”

Krista didn’t reply but stood and tugged on Sam’s arm to lead her into the back room.

“Please take a seat,” Pat began. “Please, before I say anything else, tell me how Sam has been behaving these last few months.”

“We’ve been worried sick about her,” Mary Ann said as Gilligan nodded agreement. “She’s been getting worse and worse for almost a year but she just won’t talk to us. We know she’s been unhappy but she refuses to talk to us. She’s lost all her friends and except for meals she stays in her bedroom. We just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Everyone at the school has noticed that also,” Pat told them. “She wouldn’t talk to any of us either... at least until today. Krista has a way of getting inside people’s defensive walls. Apparently at lunch today, Krista, Tony, Jimmy, Phil, Dwayne, Jasmine and Jenny confronted Sam. They wanted to know what was eating her that caused her to stop being their friend. Sam fled, hiding in a restroom. Krista followed her and confronted her again. Sam got angry and went after Krista but Krista dodged Sam and maneuvered her into an arm lock. At that point Sam broke down. To make a long story short, Krista found out what’s been eating Sam.”

“Sam attacked Krista and Krista didn’t get hurt?” Gilligan said in amazement. “I’ve heard everyone talking about Krista being a strong... person... but to get Sam in an arm lock without Sam hurting her, well, that says a lot about Krista”

“I can tell you are uneasy about Krista,” Pat sighed. “It’s best if I tell you about her before we talk about Sam because the issues are related. Krista is a transsexual. Physically she has a boy’s body but her mind and soul are that of a girl. It’s a medically recognized diagnosis and one that I can personally verify since I’m her adopted mother. Krista is in every way except one a girl. She has helped three other girls like her as I’m sure you’re aware. Now she’s helping Sam.”

“That can’t be,” Mary Ann shook her head. “I’ve been trying since Samantha learned say the word no and mean it to get her into dresses. She absolutely refuses. I mean, just look at the way she dresses and keeps her hair cut. She’s more like a boy than a girl. There is simply no way that Sam’s issues have been that she wants to finally become a girl.”

“Oh wow,” Gilligan sat up. “Mary Ann, you hit the nail on the head and don’t even realize it. Sam is more like a boy than a girl!”

“Exactly,” Pat agreed with a smile, pleased he made the connection. “That’s what this is all about. It’s really gotten worse since she started puberty. That’s why she’s pulled in and away from everybody.”

“You’ve lost me,” Mary Ann stated with obvious confusion. “Of course puberty is going to keep Sam from being such a tomboy. She has no choice but to finally become the girl she really is.”

“It’s plain to see honey,” Gilligan soothed his wife. “Sam isn’t our daughter, he’s our son.”

Mary Ann frowned as she looked at him then at Pat who was nodding her head in agreement. Finally the light dawned on her. “Sam’s a transsexual? I didn’t think girls could be transsexuals.”

“Of course they can,” Pat smiled. “It’s just that since more people are accepting of females dressing and behaving like males, it’s not as shocking. The surgeries for male to female transsexuals have been nearly perfected to the point it takes a professional to tell the difference. The female to male surgery is not nearly as successful since it’s very difficult to create a functional penis. Many female to male transsexuals are satisfied merely with dressing and behaving like men.”

“Are you really telling me that Samantha think she’s a boy?” Mary Ann asked incredulously.

“No, I’m telling you that Sam is a boy,” Pat replied. “Think back over Sam’s life. Since Sam became old enough to think on his own has he ever behaved other than like a boy?”

Mary Ann frowned in thought, obviously not liking what she was remembering.

“The truth is that Samantha never really existed,” Pat added softly.

“I’m really finding this difficult to comprehend,” Mary Ann shook her head. “But you’re right, Samantha has never really been my daughter. Every time I try to push her into something girlish she fought back and I mean fought back.”

“I guess we need to talk to Sam,” Gilligan stated.

“I think so,” Pat agreed as she stood to bring the girls back into the room.

Sam was clearly trembling, clinging to Krista’s arm.

“It’s okay, son,” Gilligan stated.

Sam was clearly stunned by his father’s words. He never expected such acceptance.

Mary Ann bit her lips and blinked back tears. “Samantha... Sam... is it true? Is this what you want? Are you sure you feel like a boy?”

Sam slowly nodded his head until Krista elbowed him. “Mom, I feel like a boy because I am a boy! I always have been and I always will be a boy. I... I just can’t go on like this anymore. You have no idea how terrible it is to be growing boobs! I hate it! It’s gotten so bad I’ve begun thinking about killing myself!”

“Oh God no, Sam,” Mary Ann nearly screamed. “Baby, please, don’t ever do that... don’t ever think about that! We’ll work this out. I may not like you being a boy, but I do love you!”

“Sam, son, I think right about now your mother could use a hug,” Gilligan stated.

Sam didn’t hesitate. For the first time in years, he hugged his mother.

Mary Ann realized as she melted into the hug that she was being hugged by a boy and not a girl. There was a big difference between the two styles of hugging.

“So where do we go from here?” Gilligan asked.

“Dr. Sykes should be the first stop,” Pat explained. “She’s been handling Krista, Kylie, Jamie now Jenny. She’s well-versed in transsexuality. I took the liberty of calling her and asking her to clear a slot in her schedule at three to see a newly emerged transsexual. She has no idea who but she’s willing and eager to help. After some physical and psychological testing to verify Sam’s transsexualism, things can start to happen to correct the situation. Once she confirms Sam is a transsexual, she can give her medications to stop female puberty and authorize him to begin living full-time as the boy he feels he is. It’ll be a big step for all of you, but it’s a step that needs to be taken to save Sam’s life and your family.”

Mary Ann nodded her agreement as she reluctantly released Sam from the hug. “Well Sam, we’ve got twenty five minutes to get to Dr. Sykes office. She’s my gynecologist and I trust her. If she verifies that you’re our son, we’ll do everything we can to help you become what you need to be.”

“Krista, thank you for helping Sam,” Gilligan stated. “I know my opinion about transsexuals was wrong. I’m glad you proved that to me.”

Krista smiled and nodded her head as the Evans family headed off to see Dr. Sykes.

*****