A Change in Lifestyle
Chapter 12

‘But I’m a man, I’m a man, I’m a man but I feel like a woman.Oh I really feel like a woman today.’
‘OMG what to do?’
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Before I had chance to decide the phone was ringing so I had no choice but to answer. It was Helen.

‘Hi sweetheart. Do you miss me?’

‘Oh. Hi Helen. Where are you?’

‘I’m at the hotel silly. I just thought I’d call to make sure you are OK since you were fast asleep when I left this morning. Are you OK?’

‘Yes, I’m OK thanks.’

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Come on what’s wrong? Have I upset you.’

‘No. I’m OK. I was just surprised that it was you.’

‘Why? Who were you expecting to call? What’s wrong?’

‘Nothings wrong. I didn’t mean it like that I was just distracted and the phone made me jump. Nothings wrong.’

‘I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. Is it because I didn’t call earlier? Are you sure you’re OK?’
‘ I’m fine. Thanks I’m fine I just feel awkward today.’

‘I didn’t upset you last night did I? I thought that you didn’t mind about our bit of fun. You didn’t really mind did you? I was worried in case we went a bit far. Well in case I went a bit far. You didn’t mind did you?’

‘No I was fine. In fact I was a bit taken aback so I don’t really know what to say. It all happened so fast and it came as a shock.’

‘Did I hurt you? Are you OK?’

‘Well I’m a bit sore and I never felt like this before. This morning I felt exhausted and I could hardly move. I didn’t want to get up. I could have stayed in bed all morning.’
‘Why didn’t you? You’re at home all day. You could have recovered slowly and just taken a long soak in the bath. That’s what I’d have liked to do if I didn’t have to come here. I’d have loved to have a cuddle with you since you looked so worried when you woke up . The look on your face when you realized that you were still in my nightdress. You didn’t mind did you?’

‘No I was fine. I must have fallen to sleep without realizing so I guess it was a bit of a shock.’

‘But you looked so sweet and I think you liked it. When I looked at you this morning you looked so feminine. I think you could be really beautiful if you experimented a little bit more. I wanted to start all over again. I had to take a cold shower to calm myself down.’
‘Helen please, someone might be listening.It’s too embarrassing. Don’t say that please. You won’t tell anybody will you. Please don’t it’s bad enough being in this situation without people laughing behind my back.’

‘Robyn don’t worry I’m not going to say a word about it. It’s our secret and nobody can hear me sweetheart. I’m in the lobby. We’ve split for a coffee break. Are you sure you’re OK.? ‘

‘Yes I’m OK and thanks. I’m not really sure what I’d do if you told anybody at work.’

‘Come on Robyn. It was great and it was a long time coming. I’ve wanted to do that before many times but you have been so down. At least last night I felt you had a smile on your face when I came home. So something must have happened and I just took advantage of the moment.’

I went quiet. I didn’t think I could explain over the phone and maybe we should sit down and talk.

Helen broke the silence.’ Did you take a nice long soak or did you enjoy the aroma of our lovemaking? Did you get excited?’

‘Helen please. I did take a nice long soak and I didn’t know whether I should throw your nightdress to the rubbish bin since it was all stained. I had to strip the bed and put everything in the laundry. I’ve never seen you like that before. You were so aggressive. No wonder I ached this morning. I felt like I’d been kicked in the groin. But it was a nice feeling of weakness and I almost crawled to the bathroom. I had to sit down to pee. I had no strength at all. What did you do to me? Was I drunk or something?’

‘HaHa come on Robyn you just lost your cherry. Didn’t you find it this morning? HaHa.’
‘Helen please. I must have been drunk. I’ve never felt like this before. I just don’t know what came over me.’

‘Did you like it? Didn’t you just love it? I thought you were so sweet and so ready to submit. We should have done this years ago.’

‘Helen please. I feel bad enough without you rubbing it in.’

‘What is there to feel bad about sweetheart. You were so responsive. I didn’t have to try too hard. You must have fantisised for this the way you performed. I had nothing left to give at the end and never slept so soundly for a long time. Now I know what is meant by the saying I’m shagged out. I think you must have felt completely shagged out this morning. Did you?’

‘Er yes I had no strength. I don’t remember doing anything but I felt completely empty with nothing left to give. Yet I didn’t do anything. You took me completely.’
‘Yes Robyn now you are all mine. I took all you had to give. What if I’m pregnant? You exploded inside me.’

‘Helen I didn’t. I never felt like I exploded einside you. I didn’t feel like I penetrated you I just felt you pushing so hard and I just responded. It was really nice.’
‘It was more than nice and I can’t wait to come home. Would you like to do it again. It’s the right time for making babies.’

‘Helen we can’t afford for you to get pregnant. Aren’t you taking your pills.’

‘Robyn I haven’t been taking the pill for months. I didn’t need to take any. You’ve been taking the pills these days not me. I hope you are still taking them.’

‘Yes I have but they didn’t seem to have much effect. If anything I’m less in the mood these days that is opposite to what I’d expected.’

‘They are only ginseng tablets so keep taking them and I’m sure they’ll help.’
‘OK I will but it seems like a waste of time to me. You don’t think that I got so excited to make you pregnant last night do you?’

‘it doesn’t take much if the timing is right. But I don’t think the timing is right so I’ll have to take care. I have some business trips scheduled in these coming months and a lot to do. It would be much better sometimes if it could be arranged for men to have babies as well as women. Then that would be proper family planning.’

‘Well I don’t mind doing the chores at home but that would be going a bit too far. Surely your job isn’t so important that you can’t take time out for a family. When I see Fran with Beth I worry that we are missing out.’

‘Yes sweetheart but it takes two and that’s why I think it’s important to build up your libido and I think last night proved you can do it. Even if I had to take the lead. I can’t wait to get back home and do it again. Did you mind me taking over?’

‘Well it was a bit embarrassing and it’s not easy to talk just now. I’m outside and people might hear us.’

I looked at Fran and she kept raising her eyebrows and smiling. She knew it was Helen and even though she pretended not to be listening I knew she knew what we were talking about.’
Helen had to go so I was a bit relieved. But it did make me feel nice as well as a little bit embarrassed. I had enjoyed not having to take the initiative and to let Helen take the lead.

Fran piped up ‘Is she missing you already? You must have been really hot last night. Is she ready for more?’

I giggled a bit and then we both smiled.‘Enough said. A picture tells a thousand words and you look a picture today.’

We chatted a lot as we walked and I took a turn to push the buggy. It was nice to see Fran smile too and she looked like she’d appreciated the last twenty four hours and the chance to relax a bit.

We walked through the park and then picked up a taxi at the cab stand to drop us in the High street close to the hair salon. Fran took me inside to introduce me and then as we’d agreed I left them to it armed with a feed for Beth incase she woke up and Frans big bag of baby supplies over my shoulder.

I decided to head for Marks & Spencers again where I knew that I could warm Beth’s bottle if necessary and at least they would have a baby changing room. Who’d have thought that I’d be walking down a High street with a baby buggy and dressed like this. What would Helen say if she found out? I was going to have to say something when she came back. We never had secrets from each other.

The townhall clock chimed out and Beth stirred a little bit. I stopped to made her comfortable and saw my reflection in a shop window. Was that really me?

I soon learned that maneuvering a buggy was not easy as I made my way through Marks & Spencers. I decided to look at the childrens section since I had an urge to buy something for Beth.

I was enjoying this experience and shop assistants were very kind towards me and weren’t giving me any awkward looks as I’d expected. Probably the baby buggy took away any doubts that anybody might have if they thought I looked a bit manly.

As I paid for a dress that I bought the assistant referred to me as miss rather than Madam. Well at least it wasn’t sir. I realized I had no rings on my finger and so maybe I looked like an unmarried mother but then I could have just as easily been a child minder or Beths auntie. Anyway I decided to stop and buy two rings from the ladies department that looked like a wedding ring and an engagement ring. At least it might be some added protection and anyway I quite liked the idea.

Then I headed to the underwear section. I’d never dared to hang around looking at lingerie even though I’d wanted to on previous trips into department stores. There was so much choice that I didn’t know where to start.

After a few minutes I looked up and was surprised that I was right in the middle of all the racks surrounded by several ladies doing the same thing. Not a man in sight. I was in a new world and I wondered if I dare explore further through the department and even venture into the changing rooms to try on something. Just for a test.

I picked up a bra and pantie set and was looking at the price when an a
ssistant asked if she could help. ‘What size are you looking for Madam. Can I help you.’

‘I had absolutely no idea.’

To be continued ……………………..