The Girl in Me
CHAPTERS 7-9
 
by Erin Amelia Fletcher
 
Please keep in mind most names, and some specific details, have been altered, to limit the amount of Strife within those associated within whom may come in contact with this.

This is the parody story to my poem I am a Girl, please enjoy...

 
 

Chapter 7
 
 

The weeks and months past, I still secretly donned my sisters clothing from time to time when I had the chance, my mind was all over the place and I couldn't gather why this was happening to me. What did I do to be stuck in this in-between, why hasn't the almighty listened to my prayers, and why can't I be happy.

One night getting tired of all the insane amount of pondering, Mary was out of the house over at her friends, mum and Richard were downstairs, and I had no friends or anything else to do so what else would I be able to do, I took out my figurines, and did as I usually did. I played with them just as Mary and I played barbies, just I was alone. I played for a while and just started feeling alone, and started talking to my figurine as if it was a therapist and I was a patient, getting my feelings out and sharing them with something/someone. The next thing I knew it started talking back, believe me not, but to this day I swear it talked back to me for about an hour.

"Everything will be fine" said my figurine. "How?" I asked, "all in good time, patience is a virtue, that will be of great morality to you, too both of us" said my figurine. "What's morality?", I asked, "morality is what you live by, and what keeps you going, kind of like guidelines to live by" said my toy.

We started talking about lots of things, then like regular socializing, "do you like any boys at school?" asked my toy, "No, the boys are icky and mean to me" I answered abruptly. "Well all that will change you'll see. How about the girls, you hang or anything with them?" asked my toy, "Not anymore they all left me over the last few years, Amber even moved away last summer" I answered.

Shortly I heard noises coming up the stairs. My door opened soon after, and I was asked what I was up to, as I answered "not much" mum then left my room telling me to have fun.

Many weeks passed and I began to ponder the questions that plagued me everyday and every night. I was having dreams that were odd, not knowing what they were to mean, and I even began to contemplate something horrible. At the age of nearly 10, I was already contemplating suicide, and how much easier it would be on everyone and myself if I wasn't around anymore.

It was a day I remember, November 16th 1998 there was little snow, more frost on the ground. Mary was at a friends again, I had some of the house to myself, my parents were at my Aunt's next-door. I had just got off school a little over a half hour ago, and was standing at the front window in my sister's room. There were three girls walking past my house, as I watched these older preteen girls giggling and walking past my home. They gestured as they talked, they wore the prettiest clothes, there hair was so beautiful I was as envious as any girl, everything finally clicked into place. I may not have the body of a girl, but I damn well am a girl. Girl's such as them do everything I hold back doing purely by train of thought. One day I would be whole, I didn't know how and I didn't know when, but I knew after all I have strong woman's instincts as young as I can remember. I just know that nothing can ever hold me back from this, I just had to wait and maybe, just maybe the gift I deserve would come to me.
 
 

Chapter 8
 
 
Many years in this life, and many years feeling stuck between body and shadow of a stranger. I then one night just after my 10th birthday, I prayed to the monotheistic god almighty one last time. "Dear god for I have prayed to you near to every night over the last several years, and you have not made do on your mistake, I have been patient, I have put others first while feeling necessary pity on myself, for if you don't change me right, I will no longer pray to you again. Please do this for me I have only asked for one thing in my life and this is it. Please and if you do this you will get a thank you, if not than this is goodbye. Amen" I know I was angry when I asked for this, and I am not a very good prayer but I think it was point blank, I lost patience with him as much as many have also, so please don't judge me harshly but I felt I had to say it then.

The next morning I woke up, and looked in the mirror, and nothing had changed, I was beside myself, and anger in me abrupted, so harshly that it was hard to not hold it in.

Later that day, I was getting nagged to clean my room like a good "boy", I pretty much got intensely angry didn't say much at the time, they continued to nag me, and years of hurt anger and so forth as well as the betrayal of the almighty, built up to such a point that I lost it. My blood line being what it was progressed a gift of mine now my foresight gave me another gift, a little thing called psychokinesis. I flung the glass of water right out of my mum's hand accidently by my mind, 4 feet away from her, it hit the end of the table and breaking in about 60 pieces or more.

"I'll go clean my room now" I said abruptly running up the stairs in a flash.

My parents had not thought it was me, which is funny or at least to me it's funny. Though, I was afraid of this new gift although very defensive it is I felt it could cause a lot of harm and never to this day trained it, and it only comes out when nature feels I need us of it, or my emotions trigger it from my self conscious.

Mary and I started playing together a lot more, but she had many other things in mind. She was tired of me playing with her barbies, and missed her friends and I suppose she also missed our dress-up times. Well she wanted me to dress as a girl every time we played together with her barbies. I of course was hesitant, not because I didn't want too, but because of the past I knew that this may be trouble.

Well, you can say I went on strike over this, for nearly 2 weeks before giving in. That first time with this new routine, I wore pink panties, white Camisole and matching slip, and lavender dress that the sleeves came up to an inch or two before my elbows, it felt and looked great. I was happy and weary, trust in anyone over this was slight, with my sister it was a very hard thing to trust her, but I was never in full trust. After all I was burned before, and by her, so my judgement in my mind was as exact as anything I new of truth.

This went on for months before we were found out. Richard had a friend named Terry. He was an alcoholic, and a lazy oaf. He had long hair to about mid back tied in a masculine ponytail.

Mary and I were playing and I was dressed in the lavender dress again, Terry walked in the wrong door and saw Mary and I playing, and me done up in my finery. He missed the bathroom, and just happened to come in Mary's room. He called me all sorts of dirty names. I told mum what Terry had said to me what she said was "that'll show you for being weird, I warned you"

 
 

Chapter 9
 
 

I was finally on my summer holidays, mum was at work most everyday and so was Richard. We were sent next door to my aunts to be babysat by her.

Well one day I will remember it as plain as day to this very day. My cousins were over, and the girls went and played with each other, and I was stuck playing with my cousin Jason. I should have went with the girls but I wasn't in the right train of mind and was told to play with Jason, which was roughly the same age as me just a few months younger if not a year. In a way I did what I was told, and played with him I just didn't copy him. He was busy making mud and digging around in it, like totally disgusting,. He was playing with some Tonka toys, I was playing with a car my aunt had in the outside toy bin she had. It was a tonka Barbie vehicle. I knew that because Mary has the same one just Mary's is in Red and white, and this one is blue and white. Mum passed it on to Mary.

My aunt and some of her friends and Jason's mom came out to enjoy some fresh air., joining us in the backyard, sitting down there folding lawn chairs, and gathering for typical socialization while watching us. "Jason is such a messy child isn't he, very rambunctious, and now I'm going to have to fill the holes back up when he's done digging my yard up" said my aunt. "Yes that's true, but its better than being like Derek, I swear he just isn't boyish in his activity" said Jason's mother. "I mean like he's too clean, quiet and I swear he just acts a bit like a sissy" continued Jason's mom, I heard that like a kick in the gut. "Yes, your right, even when I babysat Derek and Mary last month he seemed very feminine, even treated his sister more like a daughter than a sister, not to mention he acted more in the motherly sense than a fatherly sense" said one of my aunts friends. "Yes I've seen that too. I watching them once, one day Derek was comforting his sister, I think it was last week. She was crying and had her poor her hearts out and kept telling her it'll be ok, petting her head like I've done with Lisa and Catherine. Even, though Mary was upset he made sure she acted lady like telling her to close her legs and be more lady like. Then there were many times he's made her lunch, told her to do her homework, and even helped her with it many times" said my aunt. "Have you told your niece about all of this" asked my aunts friend "Yes, but she thinks I'm crazy, and has even told me so" answered my aunt. "Well I think there's a girl in him screaming to come out" said Jason's mother. "Yes I believe so too, even Lisa has told me some things that were told to her and even confirmed by Derek. Lets go inside and I'll tell you's while I fix dinner" said my aunt. They got up and put there chairs away in the shed, my aunt telling as she was leaving to "get cleaned up Derek, your mother will be here any minute to take you and your sister home". I got up put the car back in the box, went inside and got cleaned up, minutes later mum came and got Mary and I and were off back home.

To be continued...