by Spiritopics

Our Song By Maggie The Kitten     One night long ago, Katie bared her soul to Caroline and forged a bond that has lasted beyond life.     Dedicated to Caroline aka Lady Chatterley

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A young blond woman dressed in a nurse’s uniform wove through the empty chairs and other customers until she reached her usual table by the window. She sat down with her tray and frowned at the veggie plate she’d selected. She’d rather have had fish and chips, but if she was going clubbing with Frankie on the weekend, she had to lose five pounds this week. If she didn’t, she’d never get into that little black dress, and Frankie would never have the chance to get her out of it.

She fenced with a carrot stick until she noticed a familiar face just leaving the serving line. “Stella!” she shouted across the crowded cafeteria.

A lovely and petite brunette wearing the same uniform looked up from her tray to see her best friend smiling and waving at her.

She returned the smile and the wave and soon joined the blonde at her table. “So Marian,” she said with an evil grin as she sat down. “Alright … who’s the date and where’s he taking you?”

Marian feigned innocence. “What date? What makes you think I’ve got a date?”

Stella reached across the table and pinched one of Marian’s celery sticks. “This does. You never eat rabbit food, especially when there are fish and chips, unless you’re trying to squeeze into something for a hot date.”

Marian laughed, “Gawd, you know me too well.”

Stella took a nibble on the celery, “So don’t keep your best friend in suspense then girl, give already!”

Marian looked from side to side before leaning close as if she was about to divulge a state secret. “Frankie finally got up the nerve and asked me out.”

Stella lit up and bounced in her seat, “Oh that’s so great, and about time, too. Where’s he taking you? Considering how long he’s made you wait you better not let him off cheap.”

“He says we’ll have dinner at Little Italy.”

Stella let out a low whistle, “That’ll set him back a few pounds. And what about after dinner?”

“Probably go clubbing. I guess he’s got a mate that works at that new disco, The Gilded Cage. Says we’ll get the whole VIP treatment.”

“And after you go clubbing?” Stella gently pushed.

Marian sighed, “I dunno. I suppose he’ll walk me up, give me a nice handshake and we’ll call it a night.”

Stella rolled her eyes, “Yeah right. He might have a firm grip on something, but it sure won’t be your hand.”

Marian badly feigned insult, “Oy, what kind of girl do you take me for?”

Stella giggled, “The kind of girl that gets taken on the kitchen table, the dining room floor, the sink in the ladies loo and … the swing in the garden, to name just a few.”

Marian smiled guilty as charged, “Alright, so I’ve got a thing for handsome doctors.”

“And they’ve got a thingy for you,” Stella teased.

Marian shrugged her shoulders and braved a bite of broccoli. “So enough about me. What about you, Miss Lady of Leisure? What did you do on your four day holiday? I know you weren’t sitting home reading a book, cause I came by on Friday and rang you on the weekend.”

Stella frowned and stabbed at the peas on her plate, “Spent most of it at Norfolk visiting my Aunt Emma. She’s not getting on too well. Mums asked me to have a talk with Mr. Carnegie about getting her in here at the Royal, but I don’t know. I’m not so sure I could deal with being on shift and finding out she’s passed away right down the hall.”

Marian nodded sympathetically. “Speaking of passing away … I heard Dr. Weatherill talking to Dr. Omerod before I went to lunch. She was telling him the lady they just moved into 517 probably won’t make it through the day. I think her name’s Thompson. Wasn’t she one of your regulars over in the Assisted Living area?”

Stella stirred her tea, “Thompson? I don’t think I …”

Then the penny dropped, and so did her jaw, “Oh no! You don’t mean Katie Bug do you?”

Marian went wide-eyed, “Katie Bug?”

“Well actually it’s Kaitlyn, but we’ve always called her Katie Bug. I know you’ve seen her. She’s tall and thin and she wears all those cute little girl play dresses.”

Marian still wasn’t registering an image. “She’s the one who had that “Barbie” wheel chair with the pink tires and all those ribbons?”

“Yeah … that’s her alright,” Marian confirmed. “I saw the chair folded up in her room.”

Stella sighed sadly, “I can’t believe it. I thought they were just moving her into Special Needs to monitor her medicine levels. I … I had no idea she was … dying.” Her eyes began to mist as she reached for a napkin.

Marian reached across the table and squeezed her best friend’s hand. “Hey c’mon now. We work at the Royal Retirement Village. I don’t mean to be cruel, but we’re nurses in an old folks home, not counsellors at a summer camp. Everyone here is old and dying, and it just happens to be her time.”

Stella wiped the tears away and forced a brave smile, “I know … I know, but I really liked Katie Bug and you want to know something? With her, I did feel more like a counsellor at a summer camp. I mean … I don’t know quite how to explain it but … she was so much like a little girl.”

Marian nodded knowingly, “Yeah it’s so sad. The Alzheimer’s and the senility turn vital and aware adults into children. They can’t do anything for themselves, and you have to watch ’em like a hawk or they’ll be off and into something.”

Stella shook her head, “No … that’s not what I mean. It was different with Katie Bug. It was almost as if she was a real little girl … only stuck in an old shell.

“Well … I can see how you would feel like that with her looking like a grey haired Alice in Wonderland, heading off to a tea party in her pink wheel chair.”

Stella took a sip of her tea and tried to collect her thoughts, “Okay I’ll give you that. The clothes, and the stuffies and the ribbons tied on her wheel chair are part of it, but not all of it. It’s … it’s something in those big blue eyes of hers. I can’t exactly put it into words, but I tell you it’s not Alzheimer’s or senility … it’s … it’s her soul or something.”

Her best friend gave her a curious glance as she nibbled on another carrot stick. “C’mon Stell … she might dress like a little girl and even act like one, but I’ve seen her. She’s almost 80 years old, half bald and every bit six foot tall. She’s an old woman who acts like a child. It’s sad, but it’s the truth. It’s textbook behaviour. She’s just reliving her childhood”

Stella wasn’t about to let it go, “Yes, I know what you’re talking about. We both lost loads of sleep reading all those books and case studies when we were at university. It all sounds very typical, but I’m telling you there is something different about Katie Bug. You never spent much time with her. I did, and I’m telling you she knocks all those studies for six.

“Okay … okay girl, make a believer out of me then.” Marian pushed back her veggie plate and nicked a spoon full of the potatoes Stella wasn’t eating. “Tell me what’s so different about her; you know, other than she’s a transsexual.”

Stella leaned forward and lowered her voice, “How’d you know ‘bout that? It’s not exactly on her door chart.”

“Other than the fact her hands and feet are as big a lumberjack, how does anyone round here find out the confidential goods?”

“Lizzie,” the pair sang in unison.

“I was up in reception last summer when she just sort of let it slip. Mind you, it makes no difference to me. I just take their temps and make sure they swallow the pills, but it is kind of … well … you know … a bit weird knowing that umm … well … she used to have a wally.

Stella shook her head, “Really Marian, for heaven’s sake you’re a nurse … a wally? It’s a penis, and she was born with one. When she realized she shouldn’t have been, she started living as a woman, then had surgery to change her penis into a vagina. Of course there’s a lot more to it then that, but I don’t think it’s weird at all. I think it’s sad she was born that way, and I think it took a lot of courage to do something about it.”

Marian put her hands in front of her, palms out as if to assume a defensive posture, “Okay … okay … you’ve spent way too many weekends up in your flat reading medical books. I’ve got to get you out more. Maybe I can ask Frankie if he’s got a friend for you?”

Stella giggled, “That’s okay love. I think I’m safer with my medical books. The worst thing you can catch from curling up with one of them is a paper cut.”

Marian gave her best mortally wounded look before she whispered, “For the last time, it was just chapped lips. It only looked like the herpes, and you know that, you little witch.” Then she smiled and rolled her eyes, “Oy … with a best friend like you, who needs enemies?”

Stella returned the smile, then winked, “Okay … that’s the last time I bring up the herpes outbreak. Besides, I’m sure after your date with Frankie, you’ll provide me with something even better.”

Marian’s response was a plastic spoon that sailed over Stella’s head as she managed to duck just in time.

“The point is,” she continued as she kept a watchful eye on Marian’s fork, “that not everything is always what it appears to be. Your chapped lips did not mean you had herpes, any more than Katie’s male body meant she was truly a man.”

Marian eased her fingers away from the fork, “Okay … I’ll give you that one. I reckon any bloke that would go and have his wally … err … penis sliced and diced into a vagina, could never have been a bloke to start out with. So yes, I suppose there’s more to being a girl than being born with an innie instead of an outie.”

Stella raised an eye brow and gave her best posh, “M, your command of medical jargon never ceases to amaze me; however, I concur with your findings, and then theorize from them that if the body doesn’t truly define gender, then is it possible that it does not truly define age?”

Marian nearly spit her tea out when she laughed, “Oh Stell … nobody but nobody does a better Matron than you do. You’re top of the pops.”

Stella took a seated mini bow, “Thank you … thank you. Next show at four, but all kidding aside, there’s just something about Katie Bug. I can’t think of her ever really being a man and … well … I just can’t think of her as being old. I mean, I know her body’s old but her spirit … her soul … I tell you there’s a real live little girl trapped in there, and it’s not a bloody second or third childhood brought on by senility.”

“Alright doctor,” Marian played the Devil’s advocate. “Then explain your diagnosis. If her childlike behaviour is not due to senility or some other mental illness, how to you account for the presence of this, ‘real live little girl’ within an eighty year old woman?”

Stella took a moment or two to word her reply. She wished she had a better foundation for her argument, but whenever you start talking about souls and spirits, you are on shaky ground with medicine and science. “I have a theory … now mind you it’s just a theory and it’s solely based upon what I’ve read about transsexualism, and my experience with Katie Bug, but here goes.”

Marian forked the last bit of Stella’s potatoes while she listened to her friend try to prove her point. “Katie Bug probably was in her thirties before she began living as a woman, and I don’t think she had her gender reassignment surgery until she was almost forty.”

Marian eyed her curiously, “And how did you come by that information?”

When Stella smiled, the girls did an encore of their earlier duet, “Lizzie!”

With her information source verified as completely reliable, she continued with her theory. “That means that Katie Bug missed out on living, learning and socializing as a female for the first thirty years of her life. As you and I both know … women don’t suddenly become women on their 21st birthday. It takes us 21 years worth of life experience, which includes everything from tea parties, through periods and pimples, not to mention the way we are treated by our parents, siblings, other girls and of course, the boy next door.”

Marian smiled dreamily, “The boy next door. Ohhhhhh … his name was Malcolm and there was this tree with good strong branches that went all the way to his bedroom window …”

Stella cleared her throat, “As I was saying? But … if you’re transsexual, then you most likely miss all that. You never get recognized by others as a teenage girl, or for that matter, a little girl, but nevertheless on an emotional and mental level you are a girl, so … what if this little girl who never got the chance to be a little girl … who needed to be a little girl … somehow stayed a little girl until she finally got the chance to live as one? Yes … her mental condition has deteriorated due to age, but senility isn’t the cause for her behaviour, it’s only the instrument that has allowed the little girl, the soul if you will, to finally come out and play.”

Stella finally finished her pitch and watched for a reaction from her friend.

Marian was either deep in thought or asleep with her eyes open. “Well, say something, for heaven’s sake.”

Marian sighed, “I stand by initial reaction. I’ve got to get you out more often. You’re spending way too much time reading medical books.”

“Awww .. c’mon, M. I’m serious here. Don’t you think that could be possible?”

“Well … I suppose so, but … it all just seems a bit hard to believe.”

“It wouldn’t be so hard to believe if you spent any time with Katie Bug. Marian, I’m telling you if I closed my eyes I swear she was my little five year old niece Ally. Katie Bug would get just as excited to see me when I came to her room as Ally would when I came by to chat with my sister Samantha. Give either one a colouring book, and you’d keep them happy for hours. And hugs! Why the two of them are a pair of hug monsters if ever there were. I can’t exactly put Katie Bug on my hip or spin her around, but when I put my arms around her, she snuggled just the same as Ally.”

“I don’t know Stella. I still think it’s all a bit thin if you ask me. I’ve seen quite a few of ’em round here that like to finger paint, and you always have to watch out that they don’t eat the paste. I don’t see what makes your Katie Bug any different than the rest of the lot.”

‘That’s because you don’t know her like I do. I was here before the arthritis put her in that wheel chair.” Stella giggled as a fond memory came back. “Don’t ask me where she got it, but she found some chalk and she drew a hop scotch board on the Rec room floor and had half the women and a few of the men playing with her! Why I can’t tell you the number of times she nicked an old soup can from the kitchen and got a game of Kick the Can going in the hallway.”

“Sounds like she was a lively old gal.”

“She still is, M. Of course she can’t get up and about so well any more, but the spirit of play is still in that girl. She still loves a good tea party, and she’s got the loveliest set of play china that any kid could ever ask for. And her clothes … that’s another one. You put her in one of those Alice in Wonderland dresses of hers and she lights up straight away. And her stuffed lion, Sir Lionheart, is as real to her as any little girl’s best stuffie. And movies and stories … she absolutely adores the Little Mermaid, and those big baby blues sparkle like sapphires whenever I read her a story from that collection of Fairy Tale books she has. I tell you, Marian, she just puts my maternal instinct into overdrive. She’s special. She’s not like all the rest.”

Marian finally flew the white flag. “Alright girl, you’ve convinced me. This Katie Bug of yours is someone special, but little girl or not, the body’s old, and I think it’s finally giving out on her.”

Stella couldn’t argue with that truth. All she could do was try to make peace with it. “I’ve got to come round and see her straight away when we come back on shift. I hope they haven’t got her all doped up. I’d like her to know I’m there. At least then she’d have someone there who loves her.”

“Doesn’t she have any family who come round to visit her?”

Stella shook her head and frowned, “Not a single one that I ever saw.”

“Oh that’s the worst. It’s so sad when they wait and wait for someone to come and no one ever does. How could you put your mum or your dad in a place like this and then never come round to see them, not even on holidays or their birthdays?”

“I know … it’s so terrible, and with Katie Bug, maybe she lost her family when she started living as a woman. From what I’ve read and what I’ve seen on some of those talk shows, people like her often pay a hell of a price when they decide to finally be themselves, but most every one of them says it’s worth it.”

Marian threw her napkin over what was left of her veggie plate and pronounced it dead. “Hey, I just thought of something. Someone had to put her in here. You know she can’t get into the Royal as a ward of the state, so she must have some family somewhere.”

Again Stella shook her head, “Greenlee and Hicks, Solicitors, of Witchford”
“What?”

“Greenlee and Hicks,” Stella repeated. “I thought of that last year, so I went to the source.”

“Lizzie,” The pair did a final encore duet.

“Katie Bug’s residency was all set up by some posh law firm who incidentally no longer seems to be in existence.”

“”Ahhh.. now I get it. Greenlee and Hicks”.

Marian liked a good mystery and now one was in the air. “Hey … what about all those special order clothes, and colouring books, and her toy china? What about that custom pink wheel chair? Somebody had to buy all that stuff. She’s got to have at least one family member or friend out there.”

Stella shrugged her shoulders, “If she does … they’ve never come round to see her, and they never left much in the way of clues on the parcels they sent.”

“No name or return address, I take it?”

“Well …” Stella teased her friend with the tiniest of clues, “the whole thing’s a bit odd. The parcels would always come addressed to Katie Bug and never Kaitlyn. That was how the whole Katie Bug thing started.”

“Okay, but what about the sender?”

“Well … that is even more mysterious.”

Marian rubbed her hands together and smiled hungrily, “Oh I do love a good mystery, so out with girl.”

“Alright, but remember you asked for it. The address on the parcel was 4075 South Keystone Avenue.”

Marian drummed her fingers on the table. “Hmm … that doesn’t sound familiar at all. Is it London?”

Stella shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know. There was never a city, a postal code, or even a country on the address.”

Marian’s jaw dropped, “Do you have any idea how many Keystone Avenue’s there are in the UK, let alone the rest of the world? There must be hundreds?”

Stella sighed, “Last time I ran the computer check, I found nearly eight hundred references to Keystone Avenue, and they ran from the UK all the way across the pond to America.”

“Okay, so the address isn’t much help. What about the name, and please don’t tell it me it was some hotel registry alias, like John Smith or something?”

Stella giggled, “No, but it might as well have been, because it was just about as fictitious.”

Stella teased Marian with a pause before delivering, “The sender’s name on all the parcels was Lady Chatterley.”

Marian puzzled the name for a moment, “Lady Chatterley? Now where have I heard that name before? I swear it sounds vaguely familiar.”

Stella gently prodded her memory, “Think back to that old film festival we went to in Cambridge last summer. Remember that really cheesy sex comedy we saw? The one that takes place during medieval times and they’re all sitting round the table eating grapes and mutton and getting all randy?”

Marian’s eyes went wide, “Oh my God, I do remember that film. Of course I was a bit distracted by Timothy at the time. He kept trying to get his fingers on my sugar babies.”

Stella rolled her eyes and declined comment.

“But you’re right, Stell. Lady Chatterley was sort of the star or something. She made everyone randy, and not just the blokes.”

Stella blushed a bit at the bisexual reference but carried on. “The exact title of the film was “Young Lady Chatterley’s Lover,” and I did a bit of computer research on that, as well. The only reference to a Lady Chatterley I could find was the movie one.”

Marian hated to admit defeat but she was down to her last lead, “What about the delivery company? Anybody ever talk to the lorry driver?”

“That my dear Marian might be the best mystery of all. During Katie Bug’s five year stay at the Royal, she’s received nearly a hundred packages, and no one has ever seen the driver or the lorry that delivered them.”

“What? Are you telling me they just magically appear on our doorstep?”

Stella nodded, “That’s about right. Lizzie’s the closest to the front door, and she says she never hears or sees a thing. Normally one of the staff or one of the visitors comes up carrying a package, saying they nearly stumbled over it when they came in.”

Marian admitted defeat and picked up her tray. “I give up. Bloody Sherlock Holmes couldn’t solve this mystery, and to tell you the truth, the more I think about it, the less interested I am in solving it. I’m not so sure I want the answers to this one.”

Stella picked up her tray, “I don’t much really care who sent her all those things, I’m just glad they did. They brought so much joy to her.”

Marian headed for the rubbish bin with Stella following, “Yeah … whoever this Lady Chatterley really is, it is awfully nice of her to send those things. She must really love Katie Bug.”

Stella scrapped her plate off into the bin, “I know, and that’s why I wish we could get hold of her. I’m sure she’d want to come for a visit now that her friend is dying.”

Marian dropped the tray on the stand, “Nothing worse than dying all alone.”

“I suppose that Katie Bug isn’t totally alone. She does have her stuffie, Sir Lionheart, and there are a couple of people on staff like me, who really adore her.”

Marian shook her head, “Stuffed animals and hospital staff don’t really count. It’s not the same as family or a best friend.”

Stella’s eyes lit up, “Best friend! I nearly forgot all about Caroline. Caroline’s her best friend. They talk and play half the day, sometimes.”

“Caroline? Who’s Caroline? Is she one of the bright and shiny volunteers they send in from social services?”

Stella giggled, “Oh, M … you’ve got a line for everything. No, Caroline is Katie Bug’s special friend that only Katie Bug can see.”

“She’s got an invisible friend? Blimey, she really is like a little one, isn’t she?”

Stella lost herself in old memories for a moment, “I had an invisible friend when I was about Katie Bug’s age … err … well, I mean her sort of mental age. Her name was Amy, and being an only child I’d of been awfully lonely without her.”

Marian frowned, “Well, I don’t think invisible friends count any more than stuffies do.”

“Maybe not, but … I’d rather have an invisible friend to hold my hand when I die, than no friend at all.”

Marian nodded as she looked at the cafeteria clock, “Oy … the matron will have my head for sure. This is the second time I’ve been late coming back from dinner this week, and it’s only Tuesday.”

Stella took Marian’s arm. “Come on, I know a short cut round the other side. Of course we’ll have to go down the old service stairs.” Her brown eyes sparkled as she smiled mischievously, “I know you know where those stairs are, Marian. Half the hospital knows you know where those stairs are … Lassie.”

“Hey!” Marian shoved Stella’s arm away, “Are you ever going to let me live that one down? I didn’t know the sound would carry like that, and besides, I wasn’t that loud, anyway.”

Stella giggled and got in one last tease, “You woke two coma patients.”

Marian glared at her best friend, “Just for that I won’t tell you about what happened down in the Boiler room with Lindsay from Food Services and Ken the Maintenance Man.”

Stella grabbed Marian’s arm, “Awww … c’mon M. You know I was only kidding. You can’t cut me off after giving me a nibble like that.”

Marian laid her head on Stella’s shoulder, “Okay, but you can’t breathe a word of this. It’s all in the strictest confidence you know.”

Stella nodded, “Oh, of course.”

Marian followed Stella’s lead on the short cut, while Stella listened to the long version of The Boiler Room Romp.

It was half four by the time Stella was able to get through her rounds and make it to Special Needs. She knew Katie Bug might be heavily sedated and have no idea her favourite nurse was even there, but it didn’t matter. Stella wanted to be there for the sick old woman who was somehow really a little girl, even if it was just to hold her hand or put her hair up in bunches. Stella’s eyes misted as she thought of the smile Katie Bug would get when she’d put ribbons in her thinning hair.

Stella saw Dr. Weatherill at the nurse’s station. “Excuse me, Doctor, but I was wondering how Katie Bug was doing. I’ve been on holiday for a bit, and when I came back today I heard she’d taken a bad turn.”

Jill Weatherill’s beautiful brown eyes were tired; tired of watching the elderly suffer and slowly die, normally powerless to do more than give them sedatives to ease their passing. “She won’t last the day, Stella. She’s been in and out of it since last night. Sister Bridgette is with her now. I’d hurry along if you’d like to see her.”

Stella smiled at the favourite healer, “Thank you, Doctor.”

She started turn toward Katie Bug’s room, then stopped, “Doctor?”

The tired woman holding the clip board looked her way, “Yes?”

“You’re Katie Bug’s favourite, you know. She brightens up every time I’ve told her you were on rounds.”

Jill’s smile said she appreciated the sentiment, “Thanks … she’s been my favourite, too.”

Stella watched the doctor’s smile fade as she turned her attention back to the clipboard. Stella did her best to find her own smile as she braced herself for the scene she would find when she entered Katie Bug’s room.

She took a moment to collect herself and then started for the door. Sister Bridgette, God’s beautiful messenger met her there. The look on her face told Stella the tale, before the Nun could speak.

“Stella, it’s alright. Katie Bug’s in God’s hands now.”

Stella had been working at the Royal for six years now, and including her time there as a volunteer, it had been almost ten. She’d seen death first hand more times than she could count, and every one of them affected her, but as she felt her heart sink and her knees threaten to buckle, she knew this time was different.

Sister Bridgette was a lovely lass, strong of faith and fortunately for Stella, strong of arm, as she wrapped her right one around the swooning nurse. “Here now, girl … we can’t have you fading away on us now can we? Especially when the only arms you have to fall into belong a nun from Saint Mary’s.” She punctuated her line with a knowing smile that said she might live behind walls in a convent, but she knew what went on outside them.

Stella blushed a bit and thanked her friend for lending a hand, literally.

“Sister Bridgette?” she asked once she’d got her legs back, “Did she suffer much? I can’t bear to think of her suffering. She was such a sweet thing.”

“No darling … I don’t think the wee one suffered a bit. Dr. Weatherill saw to that.”

Stella let out a sigh of relief, “I’m really glad to hear that, and I’m really glad you were there with her, Sister. I didn’t want her to be alone, and I don’t think she had any one beyond us here at the hospital.”

“She’s not alone now. That I can promise you.”

Stella nodded and then decided she was strong enough to pay her final respects. “Is it alright if I go in and see her now? I’d … well … I’d like to say goodbye, even if she can’t hear me.”

Sister Bridgette squeezed Stella’s hand, “Of course it’s alright, and if she can’t hear you, God can, and he’ll see she gets the message.”

“Thanks, Sister.”

Stella had started toward the door again when the Sister called to her, “Stella? I was wondering if you knew who Caroline might be. Katie Bug slept most of the time, but whenever she woke, she called out for someone named Caroline.”

Stella smiled as her eyes misted, “Caroline’s her best friend.”

“Oh it’s a shame she couldn’t have been here.”

Stella nodded silently and headed into Katie Bug’s room. “No husband, no children, no family, not even her invisible friend made it to her farewell party,” she thought as she entered the darkened room.

Katie Bug was laying there as if she were sleeping peacefully. Stella smiled at her just as she always did when she found Katie Bug sleeping. It was the only time her room was quiet. Any other time and Stella would have been greeted by the sounds of Katie Bug talking to Caroline as she poured her invisible friend invisible Earl Grey, or her humming as she coloured in her colouring books, or giggling as she looked through her picture books. Yes, it was just too quiet in Katie Bug’s room for anything else other than sleeping.

Stella came to her bedside and then reached down and put her hand on Katie Bug’s. “I’m sorry I’m late, Katie Bug. I got here as soon as I could.”

Stella’s hand rose up and pushed a few stray hairs from her special friend’s forehead, “They didn’t put your hair up for you while I was gone, did they? Well … that’s alright. Auntie Stella’s here now. We’ll have you up in bunches and princess pretty in no time.”

Stella went over to the shelf and opened the Beauty and the Beast jewellery box she’d gotten Katie Bug last year for Christmas. It was nearly overflowing with bows and ribbons. Picking out a pair of pink and baby blue ribbons, she smiled, knowing they were Katie Bug’s favourite.

Taking the brush off the table at the side of the bed, she gently brushed Katie Bug’s hair, humming as she worked and taking extra care on the tangles as she always did. Ten minutes later she was finished.

Stella smiled through tears. “There now, don’t you look just like a real fairy tale princess?”

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she leaned forward and kissed Katie Bug on the forehead, “Now you sleep, little one and when you wake up, I’m sure you’re going to be in a wonderful place, a place perfect for a little girl just like you.”

Stella stepped back and turned to leave. She just couldn’t say good-bye, so she said something easier, “I love you, Katie Bug”.

Stella started for the door, but she caught something out of the corner of her eye. She looked down to the floor beside Katie Bug’s bed and saw a furry paw peeking out.

She shook her head and smiled, “Shame on you, Sir Lionheart. A true knight never leaves his damsel unprotected.”

Stella quickly covered the few steps to Katie Bug’s bed and knelt down to retrieve the cherished stuffie. If she had a pound for every time she put Sir Lionheart back into bed with his sleeping lady, she could buy the Royal.

Stella lifted the covers and placed Sir Lionheart next to the fair damsel. As she tucked him in close, a back flap she’d never noticed before came open.

“Here now, what is this?” she said as she turned the Velveteen Lion over.

Well worn papers and a few pictures peeked out. Stella started to push them back in and reclosed the flap, but she couldn’t help herself, and she was pretty sure Katie Bug wouldn’t have minded.

Stella lay Sir Lionheart face down on the bed and began pulling out the contents. The first thing she found was a thin strip of computer paper, badly yellowed and the print all but worn away. She squinted and held it up to the light.

“Bowling scores?” she said aloud. The barely legible lines and numbers did resemble the old computer printouts you used to get at the bowling lanes. Stella couldn’t make out the names, but she hoped at least one of them was Katie Bug’s, and the rest were friends she’d had a good time bowling with.

The next item was paper as well, only thicker, smaller and more square. It was a movie ticket stub back from the days before touch pads and access cards. The writing was well worn but a bit more legible than on the printout. “Golden Girl … Admit One”

Stella loved movies, especially old ones and considered herself a bit of a buff, but this one escaped her. Hoping for another clue she turned the ticket over and found one. “South Keystone Cinema … 4075 S Keystone Avenue.

“Now why does that address sound familiar?” she thought. Then it came to her almost before she finished asking the question. 4075 S Keystone Avenue was the return address on all the packages Katie Bug had received.

Then another bit of memory came to her. In her exhaustive research of said address, she vaguely remembered a reference to a South Keystone Cinema. It was one of the addresses from the U.S. Her love of old movies had drawn her to it. It was one of those old neighbourhood movie houses that were so popular until the big multiplex giants came along and put them out of business. If she remembered the article correctly, the South Keystone Cinema had its last showing over twenty years ago. The building had remained vacant with the hope of preserving it as a historical site. Unfortunately there was insufficient public support. Her search indicated the building was scheduled to be torn down to make way for another Starbucks Cyber Coffee Shoppee.

Stella set the ticket down on the bed and shook her head. The more she found out, the less she knew. She’d apparently had discovered where Katie Bug’s mysterious packages had been coming from, only to find it was an old movie theatre that had closed down twenty years ago.

The next item actually turned out to be three items: a trio of old photographs that were sticking together. Stella gently peeled them apart, hoping time had time hadn’t destroyed the images they held.

The first picture made Stella smile. It was a black and white photo of six people, all done up in Wild West costume. The men looked like desperados and the women were saloon girls. The funniest one was the man in the middle with glasses and a shotgun. He looked like a real killer.

Stella scanned the photo closely hoping to see some sign of her Katie Bug. Considering the people in the photo appeared to be in their twenties and thirties, she wasn’t sure if she should be looking for a man or a woman. After scrutinizing each and every person in the photo, she couldn’t make a positive identification. There was one tall, thin girl with smiling eyes that looked a little Katie Bug, but since it was a black and white photo, there was no blue eyes to confirm her suspicions. Next to the girl was a young man with the grim expression of gunmen from those days. His colouring was dark from the sun, while Katie Bug was quite pale, but there were similarities in their facial structure. Once again, however, there was not enough evidence. All she could do was hope Katie Bug was one of those six in the photo, and as with the bowling printout, she hoped this was a memento from a very happy time.

The second photo was a remake of the first, only this time in colour, and while the figures assumed the same poses and facial expressions, their style of clothes was appropriate for the period. Stella’s second choice from the black and white photo turned out to be the right one. The long-haired, sun worshipping desperado, with the look of a cold-blooded killer was none other than her Katie Bug, in boy drag. The blue eyes gave her straight away.

Stella giggled as she saw the Doctor Who shirt and striped shorts Katie Bug was wearing. She could hardly believe anyone really dressed that way. It was almost more ridiculous than the Wild West look.

She was glad she’d found Katie Bug in the photo, but a bit sad she hadn’t been her first choice. The tall thin girl who had rested her foot on Katie Bug’s leg in the black and white photo was even more beautiful in the second. Her hair was a reddish brown and her eyes sparkled like Katie’s did. The resemblance between the two was a bit more pronounced in this photo, and the two could easily be mistaken for brother and sister.

“What if they were brother and sister?” Stella thought, but then quickly dismissed it. There was a kindness and a love in the eyes of the girl, and she never could have disowned her brother if he’d become her sister. She would have been here. Stella was sure of it.

And then there was the last picture. It was colour, like the second. Katie Bug was standing between two girls. Stella put her hand over her heart when she saw the man that Katie Bug never truly had been. He looked a little heavier in this photo, although from the clothes he was wearing, it appeared he was a bit padded. His skin was a golden bronze; his smile was dazzling, his hair long and full, and his blue eyes sparkled. He was hot! Marian would have been all over him. Stella wouldn’t have been far behind.

Stella had to admit that for a girl, Katie Bug made a pretty good looking guy. One of the two girls flanking him was the same tall and lovely lass from the other two photos. Whoever this girl was, she must have been important to Katie Bug, because she was in every photo, and always at her side. The other girl was very petite, and very cute with long black hair. She had almost an oriental look to her. She seemed equally as happy to be on Katie Bug’s arm as her taller counterpart.

Stella turned the last photo over and it had writing. The date had long since faded out but the names of three were still there. The dark haired girl was Michelle; Katie Bug gave her male name: Vincent. Stella thought about that for awhile and just couldn’t do it. Katie Bug was Katie Bug, no matter what she looked like. The name of the second girl, brought tears and a smile to her face. The caption read, “My best friend Caroline, aka Lady Chatterley”.

Katie Bug’s invisible friend, mysterious benefactor, and saloon girl extraordinaire was also her very best friend during the time she must have needed one most.

Stella’s thoughts turned to all those tea parties that Katie Bug’d had with her invisible Caroline, and how she had used her last breath to call out for her. There was one important question left unanswered. Where was Caroline? Katie Bug’s room was filled with tokens of her love, but where was the woman who loved her as Vincent, and as Katie Bug?

Stella reached deep inside Sir Lionheart and pulled out another bit of treasure, a broken silver disc. She held the pieces in her hand and noted the grooves etched into one side. She recognized it immediately. “This is a compact disc. I think they used to call them CD’s. I haven’t seen one of these since the last time I went browsing the charity shops.”

Sadly, it would never play again, but at least Stella could read the name of the song it once sang, “Into the Night, by Benny M … M …M something.”

Stella didn’t know the song, but if it was important enough for Katie Bug to keep, it must be special. She made a mental note to check the musical data base for the song when she got off shift.

Finally she removed the last bit of treasure. It was a newspaper clipping, at bit yellow around the edges, but newer, and in far better shape than any of the other treasures. As Stella read the column, cold chills ran down her spine.

It was an obituary dated almost ten years before. There was a picture there of a lovely woman in her late sixties. She was strikingly beautiful, even at that age, and despite the advanced years, Stella knew her straight away. She didn’t need the name in bold print the article provided. It was Caroline. Katie Bug’s best friend had died long before she’d entered the Royal.

This answered Stella’s question as to why Caroline had never come through the door to visit. She was a spirit, and easily able to keep company with Katie Bug as her invisible playmate, but how she was able to send Katie Bug all those packages after her death was beyond Stella. She decided that was one mystery she’d leave a mystery.

This left just one thing that puzzled Stella. Why wasn’t Caroline there on the day she surely needed her best friend most? Sister Bridgette knew far more about spirit than she did, but Stella had made enough masses to know that God normally sends an angel to come collect those who have just passed into spirit. She couldn’t believe that the woman who obviously loved Katie Bug in all the forms she wore would not be the angel there to greet her. This, like the mystery of the packages, it appeared would forever be unsolved.

Stella gently put the contents back into Sir Lion heart’s hidden pouch and snapped him up. She placed him where he belonged, at Katie Bug’s side and then gave her friend one last kiss on the forehead. “Sleep well, little princess, sleep well.”

Two disembodied spirits watched as Stella left the room. Katie Bug smiled at the lady who had been so very kind to her during her stay at the Royal. She looked over at the lovely lady she’d shared all those pictures with. “Caroline, where were you, anyway? I called and called and called.”

Caroline rolled her eyes, “Yeah I know … I could hear you from four clouds over. I’ve got wings, but I can only fly so fast.”

“Sorry,” Katie Bug apologized, “Sometimes I forget even angels have limits.”

Caroline flashed her loving smile, “That’s okay; the important thing is I made it in time to escort you to what awaits.”

Katie Bug looked down at her lifeless body and then back to her friend, “Caroline … will I get a new body when I get to heaven, because I really didn’t much like the old one?”

“Well … if you were going to heaven, you’d probably get a set of junior wings, pink if I could talk the Big Guy into it, but … you’re not going to heaven, Katie Bug.”

Katie Bug swallowed hard and her eyes went wide, “Oh no! You mean I’m … I’m going to umm…” Katie Bug glanced downward and pointed.

Caroline giggled and adjusted the halo which sat precariously on the edge of two large horns. “No, you silly goose. You’re not being relocated to a much warmer climate, but you’re not going to heaven yet either.”

Caroline paused for a moment, “Well … come to think of it. Maybe you are going to heaven, at least I’ll do my damndest … err … that is I’ll do my best to try and make it as close to heaven as I can for you.”

Katie Bug gave her best friend in life and death a puzzled look, “I don’t understand.”

Caroline’s eyes sparkled, “Do you trust me?”

Katie Bug smiled, “Isn’t that a guy’s line?”

Caroline rolled her eyes and repeated herself, “Do you trust me? Wasn’t I the one who coaxed your little girl to come out and play when you arrived here? Didn’t I come and visit with you almost every day? Didn’t I find a way to get you all those dresses ,and toys, and books, and even that pink wheel chair? Boy did I have to call in a few favours on that one.”

Katie Bug nodded to all. “Sure, I trust you Caroline, you’re my best friend. I connected with you the first time we met.”

Caroline smiled and reminisced, “You came walking over from the bowling lane, all tall and handsome and gallant, a regular knight in shining armour you were.”

Katie Bug giggled, “You never knew that your brave knight was really just a damsel in some serious distress.”

“Ahhh … but you forget. I was an angel in human form then. I knew straight away, but I wasn’t allowed to do anything about it. I had to wait on you.”

Katie Bug squeezed Caroline’s hand, “Thanks for waiting, and thanks for listening when I finally found the courage to tell you. I was so afraid. I’d wanted to tell you for so long, but I was afraid I was going to lose your friendship.”

“Bug … you should’ve known you could never lose me. I was your friend, and I loved you.”

Katie Bug’s blue eyes looked deep into Caroline’s. “I might not have been sure of that when I started talking to you, but I was absolutely sure of it by night’s end. You were so patient while I stumbled and stammered and cried. Never once did I see a look of disgust or uneasiness on your face. All I saw was that magic sparkle in your eyes that said how much you loved me. You were so patient, so understanding, so … so … everything I needed you to be. I guess that’s all part of being an angel, huh?”

“No Babe, that’s all part of being a good friend. Halo or no halo, a true friend sticks by you and loves you through anything.”

“Well … you stuck by me for like three hours while I poured out all my secret desires, and when it was all done, I knew you understood and you still loved me. I felt like the weight of the world was off my shoulders. You’ll never know how much that night meant to me.”

Caroline smiled, “Oh I think I do, because if you remember, you weren’t the only one who bared their soul that night. I told you my deep dark secret.”

Katie Bug blushed, “I’ll never forget that. I still can’t believe that you really fancied me, especially with the way I looked, and after everything I had just told you.”

Caroline smiled lovingly, “As for the way you looked, you were a handsome guy, but you knew me well enough to know that when it came to love, I wasn’t too bothered by gender. It was a beautiful soul that attracted me, and it didn’t matter if that soul was packaged within a male or a female body. And as for what you told me, the bravery you showed in baring your soul, and the trust you had in me for being the one to bear it too, made me love you and want you all the more. But I meant what I said, for as much as I wanted you that night, had you told me to leave, I would’ve, and I would have loved you no less.”

“Caroline I’m glad I asked you to stay. You know that. What we shared was one of the most wonderful and beautiful experiences of my life. I lived to be nearly eighty years old, and I had sex a few times as a man, and once or twice as a woman, but I was fortunate to have made love once, and that was with you. I’ve always cherished that memory. Do you remember what was playing on the radio when we kissed for the first time?”

Caroline smiled and nodded, “Into the Night,” by Bennie Mardones. Every time I hear that song I think of you and that one special night.

“Me too. I guess you might say it’s sort of our song.”

“Yes, it was our night, and our song, and I so glad you didn’t tell me to leave, because angels need love too, sometimes I think more than humans do. Trust me, that night I needed you every bit as much as you needed me.”

“You know what the most special part of it was for me?”

“Ohhh … I might have an idea but why don’t you tell me.”

“It was after it was all over and we just cuddled close. I know I was supposed to be the guy, and wrap my arms around you to make you feel all safe, but … you wrapped your arms around me and let me snuggle. I thought it was the greatest feeling in the world.”

“It is the greatest feeling in the world. It’s love, and now I’d like to give you that gift again, but this time it will be a little different. I wish I could have given you this version of love back then, because then as well as now, it’s the kind of love you truly need. Unfortunately, even angels have to follow the rules sometimes, and on that night those rules kept me from giving to you what I really wanted to give. But … now I can and I promise you it will be just as special, just as beautiful and even more right than it was the first time.”

Katie Bug looked puzzled, “I don’t think I understand.”

“You don’t have to, Babe. Just take my hand and trust me like you did that one night so long ago. I didn’t let you go that night, and I promise I won’t let you go now.”

Katie Bug smiled and took Caroline’s hand. “So … if we’re not going up to heaven, where are you taking me?”

Caroline answered her friend with their song, “If I could fly I’d pick you up and take you into the night and show you the love …”

Then she wrapped her arms around Katie Bug. “I’m taking you home.”

Katie Bug felt warmth all over her body and sleep was quickly overtaking her. she laid her head on Caroline’s shoulder as she had the first time, and was gone.

A fourth generation Robert Redford look alike by the name of James was walking down the hallway when he heard his wife’s voice. He smiled. He loved it when she sang. He followed the soft sounds until he was at the doorway of their daughter’s bedroom.

He watched as his lovely Caroline finished the song and then pulled the covers up around Katie, their five year old pride and joy princess. She kissed the little one on the forehead and then adjusted the ribbons in her pigtails.

“You’re amazing,” her soul mate praised. Caroline turned and put a finger to her lips.

James flashed his killer smile to send a silent message of love to the lady. Caroline smiled in return and gave half a curtsey, “Thank you, kind sir,” she said just above a whisper. There’ll be a repeat performance of this act at 8 o’clock tonight, or at least we hope so.”

James joined Caroline at Katie’s bedside. He put his arm around Caroline’s waist and then gently let it brush by her bum. “I hope there is a repeat performance at 8. I’d like to get started on making her a baby brother or sister by a quarter past.”

Caroline smiled devilishly, “Better make that 9, you’re not as smooth as you used to be. You’ll have to spend a little time getting me drunk first.”

James pulled that wandering hand from Caroline’s bum and placed it over his heart and feigned he’d been mortally wounded which got him a cure-all kiss from his love.

One kiss led to two or three, and then they broke the embrace rather than tempt fate, “Honey what was that song you were singing to Katie? Is it some sort of lullaby? I’ve heard you singing that to her ever since she was born.”

Caroline’s eyes sparkled, “It’s an old, old song. I can’t even tell you the name of it, but Katie’s always loved it, and she likes me to sing her to sleep with it.”

“It’s something about you flying and carrying her into the night, isn’t it?”

“Yeah … but like I said I don’t know all the words and I can’t tell you the name. We just call it, “Our Song”.

James leaned over and gave his little princess a kiss, then promised his big one plenty more if she’d follow him into the living room.

“You want me to put in a movie? I’m sure we have something in stock besides Katie’s Disney ones?”

Caroline thought for a moment and then answered with a twinkle in her eyes, “Lady Chatterley” if you can find it, “Golden Girl”, if you can’t.”

James got a twinkle in his own eyes being quite familiar with the ancient film aphrodisiac that had been the backdrop to a few of their couch romps, “Oh don’t worry love, I know just where to find that one.”

“I’ll set up the movie and pour you a little Southern Comfort. Not that I really need to get you drunk.”

Caroline giggled, “Alright babe, you set everything up and I’ll join you as soon as I finish tucking Katie in.

Once hubby was out of earshot, Caroline knelt down and whispered in her best friend’s, and now sleeping daughter’s, ear. “See … aren’t you glad you trusted me? I promised you a heaven, but not the one up there. I’m going to do my best to help you have the childhood and beyond that you should have had the first go round. I can’t promise you that it will be everything you always dreamed of, but you’re my daughter, which means if nothing else, it will never be boring.”

Katie smiled in her sleep as if somehow she understood, and perhaps she did.

“I really am sorry I couldn’t give it to you sooner, but rules are rules. We both had a job to do. I had to take care of all the kids that were destined to come to me in that life, just as you had to do the things you needed to do, which sadly included being a girl born in a boy’s body. Why it had to be that way, only the Big Guy knows for sure, but the important thing is, this time round I’m going to personally see you get what you missed. I’m looking forward to it. I think we’re going to be one helluva … errr … heck of a … errr … oh well I think it’s going to be a blast, and considering I’ve been an angel first class for nearly 800 years, I think that’s saying something.”

Caroline planted one last kiss on her baby. Then as she turned to leave, she noted an escapee. Sir Lionheart II had fallen from the bed. She picked him up and put him back on guard duty snuggled next to the little lady fair.

With her work here done for at least the moment, she turned her attentions to her other love in this life. She unbuttoned the top two buttons on her blouse, applied a quick coat of lipstick and then did a quick spritz with that perfume that always drove James wild. She she smiled warmly as she read the label, “Into the Night.”

She took a quick final check in the mirror and was glad she had. Her halo was off-center again. Balancing it delicately on her two horns, she headed into the living room to do some serious damage to hubby, and probably add another quarter inch to those horns.
 
 

Into the Night by Benny Mardones

If I could fly
I’d pick you up.
I’d take you into the night
And show you the love …

 

To hear the song ...

http://www.livevideo.com/video/0A5EA854D89D4D609B6B186D5BED0...

 
 
Edited by Lady Holly Hart

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