I think this is as far as I can go with this as I don't have a dance background and without some ballet jargon, it's all going to look rather amateur. Thank you to all who asked me to continue, which I have done, I hope you enjoy.

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Crazy Daisy (2).
By Angharad.
I told you about our love of ballet, that is Izzy and me and that they all thought I was a girl and surprisingly, I seemed better at it than my twin sister, who was happy to dance in the chorus while I got chosen for more solo roles. Of course, my parents allowed me to carry on as a ballerina and rather androgynous boy, which swapping clothes with my sister sort of encouraged. The consequence of it all was that the girls welcomed me as one of their own and the boys seemed to forget my real name was David not Daisy.

At Christmas the ballet school wanted to put on a show and wrote to Mum asking if we could take part, that is both of us, it included bits from the Nutcracker, the Christmas ballet. Of course she said yes, encouraged by Auntie Doris and she even said she would come and watch us. Because she hadn't exactly kept up with the ballet class, being more fond of her painting, than parenting and my dad was off in Europe somewhere bashing Beethoven or something similar, so Auntie Doris was the go to person, and as my mum had said yes and to get her a ticket, Doris told the ballet school that we were fine to proceed. Obviously we couldn't perform the whole ballet, it takes a full company to do that but we could perform bits of it. We were told that plans would be revealed at our next class, but we got Mum's ticket or a promise of one, so all the boxes were effectively ticked and on the way home we tried to work out which dances they would do, like the Dance of the flowers, or the Chinese dance. We both decided that whatever we did we'd enjoy it.

Our next lesson was next week, it being the weekend and nearly all our conversations were about what parts would be available, we agreed that most of the solo spots would go to the older girls who were more experienced, and thus better dancers, but the chorus was fine and we might get some understudy parts as well, that was how I'd danced solo in the first place, being an understudy for a bit of Copelia we did and Susan Jameson wasn't able to take part, so I covered for her and apparently was told quietly that I was better on the night. Izzy had no aspirations, she enjoyed the chorus but I was wondering if a solo cover could happen again. Sue wasn't in the school anymore, so it wouldn't be her.

At school, because I was increasingly seen as a girl, it wasn't such a hot topic and the boys usually left me alone. I remember one of the few incidents that arose because of my dancing. A boy who probably had family issues picked on me as I was demonstrating a dance move to one of the girls who didn't seem to be able to learn it I had and was trying to show her where she was going wrong and Peter Smith told me I looked like a poofter. His opinion wasn't of any import to me and I ignored him. He began pushing me and the momentum from his shove, I turned into a dance movement, twirling away with lots of flourishes of my hands and arms. Of course, he was looking for someone to start a fight with, I was available and very girly, so was a suitable target for him to beat and restore his self-confidence as a boy. Except it didn't quite work out that way. It's almost a universal law, that if you want to beat someone in a fight you have to either bash them or browbeat them into submission. I hadn't allowed the latter and so far he hadn't hit me, but it wasn't through lack of trying. His moves were rather obvious and as he swung at me I just leant out of the way, the ballet had made me more agile., and he just kept punching the air, he was also getting very exasperated and noisy. It attracted a teacher who saw him attempting to make contact with my face or body with his swinging fists and who interrupted the event, laughing at his pathetic attempts to hit a girl.

He was marched off to the headmistress and I was congratulated on my ability to bend my body out of his way and stay balanced. My friend got the idea of the dance move I had been trying to show her and I was still in one piece. At the end, I was showing off a bit, when I managed to balance on one leg and move the other up to the side of my face. One of the boys who'd been watching Peter Smith's antics in trying to hit me, remarked that I could have stood still and kicked him in the face and he'd have lost big time. I had to admit to Izzy that the thought of hitting or kicking him hadn't entered my mind. Girls don't fight and I considered I was girl, if not officially, then unofficially.

The parts were given to us and to my delight I was understudy to Zoe Feltz who was dancing bits of Clara, it doesn't come much better than that. I wasn't even ten years old and I was dancing understudy for the lead female part. It meant that I had to work extra hard to make sure I could do it all and apart from difficulty it required extra stamina because she was dancing nonstop for over five minutes which takes lots of energy and strength, she was dancing in a dress so I had to have one as well, in a smaller size.

I did wonder if there was something wrong with me because I wasn't much taller than Izzy and boys are usually bigger than girls, except I know I preferred to be a girl, because I'd be too small for a male ballet dancer and probably not strong enough to lift a ballerina unless she was about three years old and only weighed a couple of kilos, as they don't exist I'll stick with performing as a ballerina with which I am having so much fun and enjoyment.

Peter Smith was sent to apologise to me and I told him it was all right that he couldn't hit the skin off a rice pudding, let alone a girl. I could see that he was still ready to have a go at me so I stood on one leg and raised the other up near my shoulder and he saw the implications if he started anything again, he ran off muttering some sort of insult as he went. He ran smack into Izzy, yelled and ran off from her, she was completely baffled by his action until she spoke to me and I said he had tried to attack me earlier and failed. I did my pose again on one leg and she laughed.

We finished school about ten days before Christmas but then it was practice every day, which was made more difficult by a small fall of snow which made everything slippery underfoot. Daddy's plane from wherever was delayed by two days. Mummy was very busy trying to finish a painting that someone commissioned for a Christmas present so we hardly saw her, Auntie Doris was busy trying to prepare us for Christmas and we were just looking forward to the show. Except my understudy role, I also had to learn the chorus parts I was involved in, the Chinese dance and the dance of the flowers, both of which were quite demanding and needed everyone to know the choreography, some were better than others.

We only did a light practice at the barre the day before and Madame came to see me as we finished, just be ready for tomorrow, it looks like Zoe has Covid, she'll do her best to come but be prepared as her understudy to go on instead. I saw the dress hanging up and could almost feel it on my body. Tomorrow now became much more serious. Daddy was due into this country tomorrow morning, he'd seen us both dance in the chorus but I so wanted he and Mum to see me do a solo part and I just hoped he'd make it back home.

The next day it was all go. I told no one that I might be soloing again in case Zoe recovered but when we got there for the performance, Madame told me she wasn't coming so I was on instead. Being young, it doesn't occur to you that failure is an option. I had practiced the part so many times, I felt I could do it in my sleep, my one worry was that I'd drop the nutcracker toy and break it. I also felt I needed to help in my two chorus dances, but Madame told me to see how I felt after my Clara's dance and I thought apart from sweaty and zinging, I'd be fine.

I pulled on the dress and minutes later I was on, and Mummy and Daddy were in the audience, my wishes had been granted and I put extra effort into everything. Seeing as things were still frozen up we had a good audience and I was told the local paper would be covering it. So I could be written about in the press. I didn't think about my history one bit, I just wanted to see my name in print, it would probably be the first and last time.

I gave my 'Clara' everything and it went perfectly. It was the starring role for the whole show and I had to quickly change a couple of times to help my chorus group with their dances, both of which featured Izzy, so for my parents to see us both was such a treat for both of us. Then I had to slip the Clara dress back on to take my curtain calls. I was given a bouquet and did a very deep curtsey in receiving them, my dad had taken several photos and my mum told me she would choose one and paint a picture of both of us, we were both delighted at this and smiled huge beaming grins at everyone.

As we went back to the changing rooms, I had some wet wipes and a towel in my bag, Madame told us to both hurry because she had someone she wanted us and our parents to meet. I thought she meant the newspaper man, but she didn't. She came to hurry me up as I was putting my warm skirt and top on with my knee length boots and even helped me with my coat, then she hustled me out to the auditorium where there were still quite a few people lingering or talking in small groups.

I dashed out and hugged my parents who congratulated me on my dancing and Daddy patted his camera and said he thought he had some good photos of us both. Izzy was hanging on his arm and he was ruffling her hair. Just then Madame appeared with a lovely looking lady who was wearing a fur coat. "May I introduce Olga Smirnova who runs the juvenile section of the Royal Ballet School," she shook hands with my parents. She recognised my dad who is quite famous as a conductor and they spoke for a few minutes. Suddenly she put an arm around me, told my parents she was most impressed by my dancing and then dropped the bombshell that she'd like me to accept a scholarship to the school to train as a ballerina. I nearly fainted, my dream come true and I jumped up and down pulling at my parent's sleeves for them to say it was okay. They both gave plenty of smiles and said they would seriously consider it. A little later we went back to the car with me fretting that they wouldn't allow me to go to the school and I was quite sullen as I sat in the car seat glowering at my parents.

My dad saw my expression and addressed me, with a kind but serious look on his face. "Look, Daisy, be satisfied that they were all impressed with your dancing, as we all were and we shall talk to Olga after Christmas."
"You're not going to let me go are you?" I pouted back.

"Remember there is just the little problem that you are a boy despite us letting you live as a girl. I don't think we can do anything until we speak to the doctor and see what our options are, but I hate to see you get your hopes up and then for them to be dashed because they may not want to take you once they find out, which would be very sad but quite possible. Let's just have a family Christmas, enjoy ourselves and I'll speak to Dr Johnson once it's all over, Okay?"

I pouted again but when he smiled at me I smiled back, it was lovely to have him home for the holiday and whatever happened, Mummy was going to paint us dancing. I smiled again at that. He turned around and started the car and we went home.