On Becoming Miss Louisa Harper
of New York and Newport: 5

 

Quinn meets Ricky's family, spends girl time with his sisters and then, of course,
things get more complicated.

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Author's Note:Thank you for the continued support for this odd story. I hope that readers are enjoying both the storylines. Also, as we head into summer,I hope you are all staying safe! Please, If you enjoyed this chapter, toss me a review!~Clara
 
This version of On Becoming Miss Louisa Harper of New York and Newport: 5 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
 
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.

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Chapter 5

From 'The Autobiography of Miss Louisa Harper'

~ "The week prior to Miranda's wedding was a hectic and crowded one at Golden Bluffs. All of our relations came to Newport for the event and many of them stayed with us. Unfortunately, we also had many friends and business associates staying as well, which did lead to some difficult choices. Father was a self-made man who had family he wanted in attendance, but they were from a lower rung of society. So, since the rooms were assigned to guests according to their social standing, there were some hurt feelings.

Father was adamant that his sister, though, Aunt Ada, needed to stay in a nice room. So, I invited her to stay with me. At just thirty one years old, Aunt Ada was a great deal of fun. She was vivacious and mischievous, and she prided herself on contradicting nearly every word that came from Father's mouth, and this behavior would always make Father laugh. If I were ever to contradict Father, he would grew angry immediately, but when Aunt Ada did the same, he would laugh out loud.

Not only Father was subject to Aunt Ada's wiles, though. Every male seemed to be amused by her flirtations. She had a way of being playful without being sensual. If the men did feel a little titillation, it was not so intoxicating as to encourage further advances. Instead, they would laugh and, invariably, agree with whatever Aunt Ada said. Even Langdon was not immune to her personality. She was like a 'Siren' of ancient times, but instead of coaxing men to perish on the rocky shore, she used her voice to lure men to bend to her will.

She was a proud, unmarried woman who was able to navigate the world using just her wit and smile. I had never witnessed another woman with her skills. I wanted to study her, to learn from her and, more than anything, to be like her. That summer, I became her apprentice."
 

~^~
 

"It sounds like you really enjoyed yourself," Ricky smiled as he listened to Quinn's nearly nonstop, ebullient stream of stories about his first day with an audience as Louisa.

"Oh, it was so great! The girls had so many questions about the clothes and the hair - lots about the corsets, of course, but there were also so many insightful questions about the social norms of The Gilded Age and things like that. I was really shocked by how smart they were. Oh, thank you." That last sentence was spoken to the attendant who was bringing Quinn's food to his seat in the movie theater. Just chicken fingers and fries to go with a small popcorn for later in the evening when the film began.

After the attendant had left Ricky his food as well, Ricky asked, "Have you ever been to a theater like this before, where they bring you food?"

Quinn shook his head. "I've never been anywhere, though," he giggled. "You, know... I really appreciate everything you're introducing me to. I didn't even know that places like this existed. It's really cool!"

That made Ricky laugh. "Yeah, I guess it is. It's kind of pricey, considering we're just getting finger food, or 'pub grub,' as one of my sisters would say, but so what. It makes for a fun night."

Quinn gave him an agreeing smile as he nibbled a fat French fry. Suddenly, it occurred to him that he'd not relieved himself since much earlier that day. "What time does the movie start?"

Ricky checked his watch. "Not for another twenty minutes. The previews will start in ten minutes or so. Why?"

"I need to use the Ladies' Room before it starts. I'll be right back."

"Ok," Ricky smiled.

Quinn went to leave, but stopped and pointed at his food. He smiled a very pretty smile and said, "Don't eat my food while I'm gone."

"I can't promise anything," Ricky smiled back.

There was a twinkle in Ricky's eyes when he teased that made Quinn want nothing more than to be kissed and held by this beautiful young man. There was a warmth spreading under his corset that scared and excited Quinn tremendously, but to be sure that he didn't act on any of the impulses he was feeling, Quinn just walked up the aisle towards the exit in the back of the theater.

He was lost in thought as he reached the back row, and just before he turned left towards the door, two young women sitting on the aisle gave him a smile and a wave and said, "Hi."

Caught a bit off guard, Quinn blinked before smiling back and returning the greeting.

"I love your dress," the older of the two girls said.

"Oh..." still surprised, Quinn looked down at the sage green, floral sundress he was wearing and then returned his gaze to the young woman. "... thank you."

This was Quinn's first excursion into a public ladies' room and he was relieved that it was not crowded. In fact, when he entered, there was only one other person in there, and she was drying her hands and preparing to exit.

Quinn entered one of the eight stalls in the room and took care of what needed to be done as quickly as he could, then opened the door to the stall and stopped in surprise. "Oh... hi... I didn't hear anyone come in."

The two young women from the back row smiled at Quinn, not in a threatening manner, but it was still odd.

"Hi," the older one who had complimented his dress smiled. "You must be the amazing Quinn we've heard so much about."

Completely flummoxed, Quinn took a moment before responding, "Excuse me?"

"You are Quinn, right?" The younger girl asked.

He eyed them suspiciously before responding, "I am Quinn, but... do I know you?"

The girls looked at each other and giggled. The older one spoke first, "I don't think so, but we have heard a lot about you."

"You have?" That was perplexing. "From who?"

The younger woman laughed. "We're scaring her, Alice." She smiled at Quinn and extended a hand. "I'm Cathy and this is Alice. We're Ricky's sisters."

"Two of them, anyway," the one who was, apparently, named Alice added.

Quinn accepted the handshake from Cathy and then one from Alice as well. "Nice to meet you. So... are you spying on us?"

The sisters looked at each other and laughed. "No, we're not spying on you," Alice said. "We just came to the movies and when you got up, I said to Cathy that I liked your dress. We were both looking at you when we spotted Ricky sitting there."

"We just assumed that you were the girl that he's been going on about." Cathy said.

"Going on about? What has he said about me?" Quinn was a bit concerned that Ricky may have been telling people stories about him that made him look... odd... different.

"Not to worry, honey," Alice assured him. "Ricky's your biggest fan. That's why Rick and our grandpa went over to the island and did all that yard work today."

"I'm confused," Quinn looked from one woman to the other. "What yard work did he do?"

"Oops," Alice grimaced. "I think I may have ruined his surprise. I'm sorry."

Cathy took over the narrative, "Ricky and our grandpa went to your place this morning and trimmed all the bushes, mowed the lawn, weeded the flower beds... all kinds of stuff, I guess."

"I didn't know that," Quinn was very surprised.

"Grandpa said that he met your sister. He really liked her. Said that she was a charming." Cathy chuckled. "For Grandpa, that's very high praise."

"He's a bit old fashioned," Alice laughed.
 

~^~
 

"So, what? Do think he's going to hurt himself or something? Annie... Quinn worked way too hard to get well to ever hurt himself
intentionally." Barbara sipped the red wine Ann had provided as an accompaniment to the beef kabobs she'd made for them on the back deck of her house. It had been quite a while since the shrubs and fast growing sumac trees that sprung up around the deck had been trimmed away to allow them to use the nice deck that Ann's father had built the first, and only, summer they had all lived together in this house.

"Barbie, I don't know WHAT I think Quinn might do, but I spent a lot of time reading about young people who are discovering their sexuality for the first time and are having a hard time dealing with it. I'm really scared that if Quinn continues to deny his feelings for this kid... well, it could really mess him up."

Barbara considered that as she took another sip. "I don't know, Annie. I've watched him at the mansion and I've seen an incredible change in him. Quiet, shy, little Quinny, the boy with the sweet smile and freckles has become this beautiful young woman - maybe not as mature as his twenty-one year old age might indicate, but there is nothing boyish - and certainly nothing mannish - about Quinny any more. She's all girl. I think she's accepting it all pretty well."

"The clothes and all that, yeah. Quinn likes the clothes and the attention, but..." Ann thought about what she wanted to say. "Quinn is... conflicted, I guess is the right term, about how he feels about... well, I don't know if it's all boys, but certainly this boy. I think that, maybe because he was only fourteen when he suddenly was in complete isolation, his thoughts about same sex love are, maybe, just a little immature. I think that he is fascinated with the clothes and that they opened up a new way of looking at himself. It's like he's accepting that he might be a woman deep down, but the idea of being with a guy is just too... gay... for him. And I mean 'gay' in that horrible way that middle school boys use it."

"So...?" Barbara wasn't getting it. "Give him time. He'll figure it out. That's the same advice I gave to Ricky. Just be patient."

"Barbie," Ann shook her head, "you need to read the statistics around things like this. More often than not, the boys who go through things like this have incredibly high incidences of eating disorders, cutting... even suicide. I really don't know how to deal with this."

Barbara chuckled. "'I really don't know how to deal with this.' I remember you saying the exact same thing when they told you they were sending Quinny home and you'd have to be responsible for every aspect of his life. You got him through that, Annie, and you'll get him through this."

"Yeah, Barbie, but all these kids..."

"All THOSE kids didn't have YOU, though, Annie. Quinn does. To a lesser extent, he has me and my mom, too, but... Annie, Quinny adores you. You are his world - for a long time, you literally were his world - and even though he made you frustrated and there were nights that both of you ended up crying, you have always known that he loves you and he has always known that you loved him. All of this is tough, Annie, yeah, I get that, but it's nothing compared to what the two of you have been through already."

"So your advice is what? Not to worry?"

"Oh, God, Annie, NO! You will worry, no matter what I say. That's just who you are, but... be patient. Tell Quinn how much you love him. Accept all of his changes. Be his sounding board. And keep reminding him that we can't always control who we love. He'll get there with your help."

"Or..." Annie looked at the table top for a moment. "... are we forcing Quinn into this boy's arms?"

"Why would you say that?"

Ann sighed, "Because he was so freaked out when he realized that Ricky wasn't gay."

"And he found that out when? WHILE HE WAS KISSING HIM!!! Annie... if Quinn didn't want to be with Ricky, he'd be at home with us right now. Instead, he spent almost an hour getting ready to go to the movies with him. Annie, Quinny is in love. He's just afraid to accept that."

Ann nodded. Barbara was right. Hell, she had to be right because if she was wrong, then Quinn was going to have problems with which Barbara was unable to help.
 

~^~
 

"Are you ok?" Ricky asked as Quinn returned to his seat.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"No reason," Ricky shrugged. "It's just that you've been gone a long time."

Quinn returned his shrug in reply as they both felt some people move into the row behind them.

"I hope your chicken and fries aren't too cold."

Quinn took a taste or a chicken nugget. "Nope. They're fine."

"Good." Ricky nibbled some of his own food for a few moments before Quinn spoke.

"So... I heard that you did some yard work at my house today."

Ricky looked surprised for a moment, then smiled. "You talked to your sister?"

Quinn shook his head and looked at the screen, which at this point was showing very easy, pop culture, trivia questions.

Ricky thought for a moment. Who else would have seen the lawn? "Then... how did you find out that my grandfather and I did some work at your house?"

Quinn looked at Ricky as if his question was a surprise. "Huh? Who told me? Oh. There were some girls in the bathroom. They told me."

"What?" Ricky made a confused face. "Girls in the bathroom told you about YOUR lawn?"

Again, seemingly distracted by his comment, Quinn turned and said, "Hmm? Yeah."

"This is so weird," Ricky said, in wonder.

"By the way," Quinn suddenly looked interested, "why did you just show up and do lawn work, any way?"

"Well..." Ricky didn't feel comfortable saying that the reason he'd done all the work was because he was falling deeply in love with Quinn and wanted to do something to impress her, so he stumbled over his words for a moment before saying, "... I just thought that, you know, you could use some help... in the yard, I mean."

Quinn smiled sweetly. "That's nice, Ricky."

He smiled back, but he was surprised when he heard one of the people in the row behind him say, "Oh, this is pathetic. Just tell her you did it because you love her."

Shocked, he turned and saw his sisters laughing. "Damnit!" He said in a loud whisper, trying to sound forceful without disturbing the other people in the theater. "What are you two doing here? I intentionally didn't tell anyone where I was going tonight just to avoid something like this."

"Relax, Ricky," Cathy shook her head. "We just came to see the movie. We didn't know that you'd be here."

"Geez..." Ricky hissed. He looked at Quinn. "I'm sorry. They think they're being cute. Do you want to leave?"

"Leave?" Quinn was surprised. "Of course not. They're just teasing you, Ricky. Don't get upset."

"I'm not upset." He took a breath to calm down. "Look, Quinn..." he shook his head, irritated, but resigned to the situation. "Quinn, this is sister number one, Alice and sister number three, Catherine. Blisters, this is Quinn... the girl I told you about."

"We've met," Alice smirked.

"Don't worry about the 'blisters' remark, Quinn," Cathy laughed. "We know he loves us."

"Sadly, that's the truth," Ricky said, relaxing a bit. "Look... I thought long and hard about where to go tonight, ok? Please don't ruin this night for us, ok?"

"Why? Are you proposing or something?" Cathy teased.

Alice took a more mature approach. "Don't worry, Ricky. Just enjoy your movie and forget we're here. We'll walk out to the parking lot with you afterwards. Ok?"

Ricky shook his head. "Ok." He turned and settled heavily into his seat.

Quinn looked over the seat at the sisters and made a face that said, 'Maybe that was a mistake.'

"Don't worry," Alice smiled back. "He's not mad. Ricky doesn't know how to be mad."

The previews started and the movie followed it. It was a silly action/adventure/comedy with handsome people surviving un-survivor-able events at every turn, but it made everyone laugh. At some point, in the darkness, Quinn noticed that the fingers on his left hand were intertwined with the fingers on Ricky's right hand. Quinn looked down and wondered when this had happened. How long had he been holding Ricky's hand? Should he continue to hold Ricky's hand? What harm could there be in holding on just a little longer? Besides, it felt nice. He felt... connected. Not just connected because he was physically holding Ricky's hand and connecting in that way, but... connected like... like... like in the way that every human being longs to be connected to another human being. He felt a sense of warmth - of friendship, but more than friendship - of protection - of... love.

The feeling was entirely different than anything he'd ever felt before. He loved his sister. He felt affection for Barbara and Mrs Jenkins. He'd had friends before the accident, so he knew what friendship felt like. This was new, though. Just this innocent little touch fulfilled a longing to be with Ricky. A longing to have Ricky be his guy and to be Ricky's girl. Definitely NOT to be Ricky's guy, but to be his girl. That was a need that had been growing in him since Ricky walked into that dance class, but... was it possible? Could Ricky ever see him as his girl if he found out the truth and... what was he, anyway? Gay? Transgendered? What was HE, himself, him, Quinn? What was Quinn and and could Quinn live with being what he actually was?

He was still pondering all of that when the movie ended and the lights came up.

"Did you like it?" Ricky asked, as they stood up.

"Yeah, it was great," Quinn smiled, despite the fact that he'd lost the thread of the plot quite some time ago.

"Excuse me," a lady walking up the aisle said, "but didn't I see you playing Louisa Harper at Golden Bluffs earlier today?"

"Oh," Quinn was caught a bit off guard, "yes. You did."

"Oh, let me tell you... you were wonderful. I brought my kids there three times last year and the girl that played Louisa was excellent, but you were awesome! I know you have a script for some of it, but you were so good with the kids! My daughter was raving about you all the way home."

"Really!?" Quinn was surprised to get such a rave review. "I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Please come back again."

"Oh, I will. You're not going to believe this, but my little boy put up a HUGE fuss about going to that 'girly' place again, but when he started acting up today, you gave him some attention and now... well, let's just say that I think we'll have to bring flowers with us the next time we come. He is smitten with you. Just plain smitten."

Quinn laughed as he said, "Ohhh, I know who your kids are, now. Oh, he was so sweet."

"Thanks to you." The woman looked up the aisle and said, "Oops! My husband is all the way to the top and waiting for me. Thank you, again, and we'll see you soon."

"Bye! And thank you!" Quinn said.

"Wait," Cathy said, after the woman left, "you're playing Louisa Harper this summer?" She slapped her brother's arm.

"Ouch! Hey! What was that for!?" Ricky said, fairly loudly.

"For not telling us you were dating Louisa Harper!" Cathy actually looked angry.

"I told you she was working at Golden Bluffs." Ricky tried to mount a defense against something that made no sense to him.

"So what? Beatrice worked at The Breakers, but who cares. We assumed that she was just one of the maids who lead the groups from room to room." Cathy shook her head.

"Or maybe a waitress," Alice joined in.

"Being Louisa is like... I don't know... it's like being Belle in a production of Beauty and The Beast. She wears the best clothes, has the best lines and has the best wigs." Cathy shook her head.

"I don't wear a wig," Quinn tossed in. "We just put my hair up."

"Great God Almighty, Ricky!" Cathy looked even more shocked than angry now. "You're dating the Princes of Aquidneck! Why didn't you tell us!?"

"Well, for one," Ricky took a stand, "because I didn't want you going to Golden Bluffs and embarrassing me, and for two - if that's the right thing to say - because we're not REALLY dating. We're just... hanging out together."

"What!?!?" Both sisters were a bit suspect of that remark, but Alice took over from there. "Come on, Ricky. You came home today, stinking of sweat from doing chores at her house, took a twenty minute shower, complained about your hair for an hour, then left the house dressed like a million bucks."

"Can we... maybe... just leave, now and we can talk at home before I go back to campus?" He obviously did not want to continue this line of conversation.

"Oh," Cathy said, suddenly serious. "I'm sorry, guys. I guess we misunderstood."

"Geez, Quinn, you must think we're jerks. I guess we just assumed that..." Alice looked really upset.

"No, no, no," Quinn shook his head. "I understand, it's just... well, it's too long a story to tell right now, but... I just... I don't have much experience with guys. We're just taking it very slow."

"Yeah," Ricky nodded. "Can we just leave it there?"

"Sure," Cathy smiled.

They walked out to the parking lot and before they got into Ricky's car, Alice asked, "Hey, Quinn. Are you free on Monday by any chance?"

"No, she's not," Ricky said, but Quinn answered at the same time.

"Yes. There are no character actors at the Mansion on Mondays and Tuesdays, so I work Wednesday through Sunday."

'Cool! Look, we have a 'Sisters Day' on Monday. All eight of us are going to an outlet mall to do some shopping and get some family time in. It's 'sisters' only, so Ricky's not invited..."

"As if I'd want to spend a day dress shopping with eight women," he tried to interject, but Alice didn't even slow down.

"... but I was thinking that it would be a pretty cool way for you to get to know all of us."

Quinn was more than a little surprised by the invitation. He'd love to do something new with anyone, but being alone with Ricky's sisters seemed a bit overwhelming. Still... he'd really enjoyed going dress shopping with Barbara the other day... this could be a lot of fun.

"One big problem," Ricky almost laughed as he tried to foil his sister's plans. "Quinn lives way up in Portsmouth and she doesn't drive. You'd have to get to Newport, then go another twenty minutes to get to Portsmouth. You guys are planning on going all the way up to Wrentham, Massachusetts. That would add an extra hour to your trip - both up and back."

It wasn't that Ricky wanted to ruin a day out for Quinn, he just didn't want his sisters getting to know her better than he did, and he certainly did not want them telling Quinn all kinds of embarrassing stories about him without knowing what had been said and being able to mount a viable defense for whatever they told her.

"You don't drive?" Cathy was surprised. "Eye sight or something?"

Quinn felt a bit deflated. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go or not, but he would have liked to have made that decision on his own. "No... like I said, it's too long a story to go into at this time of night, but... I don't drive."

"Tell you what," Alice said, with a great deal of enthusiasm, "I'll take a ride over get you earlier in the day, then we can pick up the girls on the way back. I don't mind the drive over to the island and I'm always ready to go an hour before anyone else."

"Oh... I'd like that..." Quinn said with a sad smile, "... but I wouldn't want to put you to that kind of trouble."

"Trouble?" Alice laughed. "Honey, it's no problem at all. Who knows... one day, we might actually be sisters."

"We're a big, loud family, Quinn," Cathy laughed, too. "Trust us... it's better that you get used to us sooner, rather than later."
 

~^~
 

From "The Autobiography of Miss Louisa Harper."

~ "Aunt Ada and I went to town on a bright Monday morning, in the week before the wedding. It was one of the most perfect summer days I could ever remember and I mentioned to Aunt Ada that I hoped that Ada's wedding day would be as glorious as that day was.

Ada shook her head. "I don't think that God would waste a beautiful day on a marriage that will contain no joy."

Her bluntness shocked me. None of us thought for a moment that Miranda loved her fiancé, but we were discreet about our feelings. Here we were in an open carriage and Aunt Ada was speaking freely, without a concern about anyone overhearing - even the driver, a few feet away.

"My heart aches for your sister, Louisa, but when I see you and Langdon together, it reaffirms the idea that it is possible to find love in this world."

As we entered the town, Aunt Ada noticed a bookseller's establishment. "Driver. Stop here, please."

I was confused. We'd come to town to visit a silversmith who Aunt Ada had commissioned to make a serving set for Miranda as a wedding gift. On the rare occasions on which Mother and I went into the town of Newport, we never strayed from the route we'd planned. I was certain that, should our driver report our change of itinerary to Father, that we would receive a harsh tongue lashing.

None of that bothered Aunt Ada, though.

Feeling somewhat as if I was involved in an intrigue, I followed Aunt Ada into the booksellers, a place that smelled heavenly. The leather bindings, the ink, the paper, all of it smelled of a freed mind.

Aunt Ada went directly to the proprietor and asked for a copy of 'Withering Heights,' a nearly forty five year old tome of which we had at least two copied at Golden Bluffs. When I tried to inform Aunt Ada of this fact, she just 'tsked' and waited for the proprietor to return from the shelves with romantic novel.

When she was handed the book, she seemed to know exactly what she was looking for. When she'd located the passage she desired, she asked the proprietor for a pen, ink and a ribbon. She used the ribbon as a place holder, then used the pen and ink to underline a passage, then inscribe a message in the front blank page of the book.

'My dearest Louisa. Love is rare in this world and it is not always an easy commodity to retain. Being in love is as risky as trading in tulip bulbs. The commodity is delicate and requires constant attention if it is to bloom year after year. When you feel alone or ill of heart due to the neglect of affection that will inevitably occur in the course of a marriage, remember that when I look at look at you and Langdon I am reminded of the passage I underlined on page five of chapter nine of this book and remember - Be patient with Langdon, my child. He is merely a man, but he is a man who is deeply in love with you, now and forever. With all my love, Aunt Ada.'

I was surprised by this kind of sentimentality from a woman who I had always viewed as charming and intelligent, but somewhat superficial when it came to emotion. So, I opened the book at the ribbon and read the underlined passage aloud.

'...because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.'

I sniffled and shook as I hugged my aunt, a display of affection which would have scandalized mother had she witnessed it.

"Miranda will always be rich and secure," Aunt Ada smiled and held my cheeks in her gloved hands, "but you, my dear, will always be loved and that is a far greater fortune than money can provide."
 

~^~
 

"You're going shopping with his sisters!? Eight sisters!?" Ann was shocked. It was Monday morning and she had to get to school. She'd assumed that her brother would be sleeping late and was surprised to find him awake and preparing for an excursion with Ricky's sisters - all the way up to Massachusetts, no less! "Quinn... what exactly are your intentions with this boy? You keep saying that you only want to be friends and now you're planning a family outing with his eight sisters! Eight sisters, Quinn! They're not just looking to be your friend. They're evaluating you as a potential sister-in-law."

"No they're not, Annie," Quinn shook his head as he checked his makeup in the mirror. "They just invited me to go with them."

"As a test-drive, Quinn. They want to see if you're worthy of dating the one brother in the family." Ann huffed and ran her hand through her own, mousy brown hair. "Quinn... honey... Do you... Do you... love... this boy?"

Quinn stopped and stared at his reflection without speaking.

"Honey... if you do... that's ok. You know that, right?"

Still nothing.

"Quinn? Honey? Do you love him?"

Finally, he spoke. "I... I don't know... I might, but... I'm trying really hard not... to think that way."

Ann sat on her mother's bed and looked at her little brother sitting at the vanity. His always pretty hair was now rich and full and wavy. His makeup, something he'd never even considered wearing barely a week before, had been applied meticulously. His narrow shoulders were made even more feminine by the narrow straps of the all-in-one bra and corset combination he wore.

He was soft and pretty and confused as hell and she wanted to push him a bit harder, but then she saw the exposed skin of his back, above the back of the corset, it broke her heart. The skin was scarred in a symmetrical pattern left behind from surgery after surgery after surgery. Her brother was nearly her child, too. She loved him differently now than she had before the accident. She had resented him at times, sure, but look at the poor little thing. He still needed her. And she wanted to be there for him.

"Quinn... why? Why don't you want to think that way?"

"I just... I just don't want to be... I don't want people to think that I'm... gay."

'But, honey, if you love this boy, then..."

"Annie, please." He looked at her with pleading eyes. "Annie... God, how do I explain this? I think... no... I'm not thinking anymore, Annie. I can't think anymore. I'm feeling so, so much, now. So much that I never felt before."

"Feeling what, baby?'

He sighed and put down his makeup brush. "Annie... I feel like... a different person. Like... like the Quinn I always just suddenly... went away. Like... now I'm... Annie, I was weak and useless as boy-Quinn. I'm... not... anymore. Girl-Quinn is almost... normal. Almost... right."

"I get that, baby, but... what about Ricky?"

"I'm getting there. Like I said, I feel like I'm ALMOST normal, Annie, but I'm not. I'm still..." he swallowed and almost looked like he was about to cry. "...where it counts... where it's always going to count... I'm still... boy-Quinn. Just as ugly and useless as I ever was."

"Quinn, please..."

He knew she wanted to console him, but he needed to continue. "Annie, when I'm with Ricky... I try to keep every thing... cool, you know. Like... no kissing or anything, but then... then I realize I'm staring at him and wanting to kiss him. Or I suddenly realize that I'm holding his hand and I realize that he makes me feel... complete, in a way. Just him being there with me makes everything... right."

"So... you love him, Quinn."

"But I can't, Annie. I can't. Because if I did... then I'd be..."

"You'd be someone who loves someone else, Quinn."

He shook his head. "Annie. You've never been in a junior high locker room or a barbershop. Being a... being a... a fairy is the nicest way to say it that I can think of... being... one of those... Annie, that's just about the worst thing you can be. Yeah, and I know that wearing a dress and makeup makes me a fairy, too, but... if I'm careful, no one will ever know that I'm a guy. If I let myself love Ricky, or let him love me... he'll find out, and... he'll hate me for it."

"Oh, Quinn, Quinn, no. You don't know that. You need to trust him to love you, honey. He's a nice guy, Quinn. Give him a chance."

Quinn shook his head. "If I give him a chance... I'll lose him forever."

Ann stood and walked over to him. What could she say? She couldn't guarantee that Ricky would understand. What if she forced Quinn to tell him and he reacted the Quinn expected. That would crush him. Was everybody's life this goddamned complicated or was just people with the last name of Collins? It was never easy for Quinn and, because of that, it was never easy for her, either.

She knelt down and laid her head on his soft shoulder. "Quinn... I love you, baby, and... no matter what... I am always going to love you. I'll always be your sister. You'll always be my brother or sister and whichever you are doesn't matter, but Quinn... please, please, please never forget that I'm right here for you, honey, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing that will ever happen to change that."

"I know, Annie. I know that I've messed up your life..."

"No, Quinn, you didn't..."

"Alright, but I've complicated it, anyway, and... I'm sorry. I don't mean to, I swear it. I just want... a normal life."

Ann knelt up straighter and kissed his cheek. "I don't want a normal life, Quinn. I want what we have... and maybe just a little more craziness would be fine, too. This is our life, honey. It's OUR normal. And I wouldn't trade it for the world."
 

~^~
 

"Grandpa! What are you doing here?" Ricky smiled as his grandfather entered the front door of the cell phone store where Ricky worked.

"Hey, Buddy," his grandfather smiled. "I was just wondering... umm... when do you have lunch, Rick? I thought I might take you for a nice sandwich at that place up the street, if that's ok."

Ricky looked at his watch. "Yeah, that'd be good, I guess. Let me check with Paul and Elsa and see if they're ok with me taking the first lunch. I'll be right back."

Grandpa Bill looked around at the high tech gadgets all over the counter tops and wondered how kids were able to navigate their way through these things. No buttons, no wires, no nothing. Yet they seemed to have the world at their fingertips. He was content with a phone that made calls and also could get texts and emails. Beyond that, he really didn't know how to use any other functions. Being seventy eight and having a lifetime of experience had its advantages, but when it came to technology... it was a hinderance.

"All set," Ricky smiled as he came out of the back room. "They'll cover. Let's go. I have to be back in an hour."

As they walked up the street to a café that Grandpa Bill liked, but Ricky tended to steer clear of due to the slightly high price of their sandwiches, they stopped and looked at a vintage Indian motorcycle parked on the side of the road, discussed it's mechanics, the beauty of its design, etc, and did the same when they came upon a 1963 Volkswagen Karmann Ghia that had been restored to the level of its first-made glory.

When, at last, they'd entered the café and Grandpa Bill had ordered them both a tuna melt and a Raspberry Lime Rickey, Ricky smiled at his grandfather and asked, "So?"

Bill was young for seventy eight years old. His close-cropped hair was white, but his body was strong and his eyes were clear and piercing. He sat up straight and looked at his grandson and could not believe how different this boy was from Bill's own son, Ricky's father. Ricky was smart and handsome and the hardest working kid he knew. Bill loved all of his grandchildren as if they were his own kids, but this kid was special. Really special.

"Rick... did I ever tell you about the night I first met your grandmother?"

Ok, this was an odd topic. "No, Grandpa, you didn't." In fact, his grandfather rarely spoke about anything prior to the decision for all of them to move in together. There were two pictures on his bureau, though; one of Ricky's grandmother as a young woman and another of both of them on their wedding day. Beyond that, nothing was ever said.

Bill nodded and thought. "She was something, my Joanie. I was working third shift at the time, so my schedule was all messed up. Anyway, I got off at seven in the morning and I went to a diner down near the train station to get something to eat before I went back to my little apartment and tried to get some sleep."

The older man's eyes were focused on the wall as he remembered and a smile played on his lips when he thought about that day.

"So, I was just digging into my steak and eggs when this girl walks in, and Rick... it was like my world changed at that moment. My heart wanted her... no... my heart needed her, Rick. I watched her order, wait for her egg sandwich and coffee and she was headed out the door and I hadn't said so much as hello to her. She was about to walk away forever and I didn't know who she was."

Ricky was smiling and enjoying the story. "So, what did you do?"

"I got off my ass and ran out the door after her. Now, mind you, I was filthy from just finishing a shift, but I couldn't risk NOT talking to her."

"I caught up with her outside and introduced myself as politely as I knew how, and, to my great surprise, she smiled at me, told me her name and said I could call her that night to set up a date. Man, I was flying high that whole day. Barely slept a wink. I called her that night before I left for work and we went to dinner and a movie that next Saturday night. Here's the kicker, though... she insisted that nothing could ever come of our dating. That we would never, ever be a couple."

Ricky laughed at that. "Well, that sounds familiar. Why didn't she want to be a couple."

The older man smirked. "Religion. She was Catholic and I wasn't. She said her parents would never allow us to get serious unless I converted."

"And did you?" Ricky had not been brought up in any religion.

Grandpa Bill shook his head. "I thought about it, but... it just seemed hypocritical to me. I hadn't been to church since I was a kid and I didn't have any real connection to God, so... we just dated for a few months."

"I'm going to assume, since I've seen the picture of your wedding, that you worked it out at some point."

They waited silently while the waitress placed their food on the table. When she'd gone, Bill continued. "We did. I asked Joanie to marry me four times, Rick, and she turned me down the first three. Finally, we made an agreement. She would marry me as long as she could raise any kids we had Catholic and I never made a stink about her taking them to church. I agreed and two weeks later, we were at city hall in our best clothes tying the knot."

"That's great, Grandpa," Ricky had really enjoyed hearing the story.

"That hurt her, though, Rick. I mean... her parents never let up about me not becoming Catholic and that drove a wedge between them and that hurt Joanie. Your grandma never held me responsible for that hurt, but... it was there and I was never able to fix it."

"But, Grandpa, that wasn't your fault. People need to accept others on their own terms, you know what I mean?"

His grandfather smiled. He'd made his point. "I know, Rick, and that's what I want you to understand as you move forward with courting this girl you're so enthralled with."

"I don't get it grandpa," Ricky looked very perplexed. "I am being patient."

"I know, Rick, but I was sitting on the porch last night and I was thinking about this night seven or eight years ago when I was driving home from another late shift - second shift this time. I was exhausted and only wanted to get home to our place and kiss all of you in your beds. I was almost home, when I came around a bend and traffic was at a dead stop. I had to sit there for almost an hour before we moved very slowly forward. It was a terrible accident, Rick. A tractor trailer had wandered into the right lane and pushed this little Honda up onto the concrete barrier. There was nothing left of the car. The police and EMTs were still trying to get into the car as I drove by. I saw them taking a child into an ambulance, Rick. The kid couldn't have been any older than you and some of your sisters. Right in that moment, Ricky... I found God. I wept and I prayed for that child and I have prayed every day since that you and all of your sisters be spared that kind of pain. And you have... almost."

"You think that was Quinn you saw that night?"

"I think it probably was, Buddy. I mean, I probably remember some of the news stories wrong, or maybe they were just mistaken about some facts, but I'm pretty sure that the child was named Quinn. Regardless, Rick... if you're serious about this girl... just like you said... you have to accept her on her own terms. That girl was broken, Rick, and I mean nearly broken in two. She was a broken, bloody mess and I was shocked that she lived, and Ricky, she went through things that you and I can never imagine. She must have felt unbelievable pain, pal, and she's still in pain, and she'll be in pain for the rest of her life. You're never going to heal her, Rick. You're not capable of that. No one can do that, but you can love her and make her happy, but only..." he waited for Ricky to finish.

"...if I accept her on her terms." He looked at his grandfather and nodded. "So... what? I just wait until she's ready?"

"Rick, I've watched you and I've seen how you behaved with girlfriends before, but I've never seen you as distracted by a girl as you have been this week. I don't think you're just crushing on this girl, are you? I think you're as crazy for her as I was for your grandma. So, I'm asking you, man to man... do you love her?"

Ricky looked his grandfather straight in the eye and spoke seriously. "Yeah, grandpa. I think I do." He thought a moment longer. "I do."

Bill smiled. "It sucks, doesn't it, pal? But don't worry... it's the greatest thing that'll ever happen to you, too."

Ricky smirked at the irony of that statement and shook his head. "You're pretty smart, you know, grandpa."

He smiled at the boy. "No. I'm really not, Buddy. I just know what love is and I know that it hurts almost as much as it brings joy, but without it... there's no point in anything."
 

~^~
 

"Quinn, this is Bea, you know Cathy, and that's Ellen, Fiona, Grace, Hannah, and the little one back there is Bella." Alice made the introductions beside the full sized van that she'd driven to Quinn and Ann's house in Portsmouth.

Quinn gaped at the mob who had all piled out of the van to say hello. He doubted that he'd get their names right every time, not just because there were eight of them, but because they all seemed to share nearly identical faces. Quinn knew that some of them were pairs of twins, but this was amazing. It was almost like they had been designed in a laboratory, their features were so perfectly matched, and yet - they looked almost nothing like Ricky. Each girl or young woman had Sandy brown hair, a small nose, strong chin and high forehead. They were absolute clones of one another. It was amazing and it made Quinn smile.

"Hi, everyone," he smiled as he gave a small, self conscious wave. "Nice to meet you, all. Please forgive me if it takes a few minutes for me to get to know your names. I'm not great at names."

"Don't worry," Fiona smiled. "Our teachers never know our names. My history teacher calls me Alice all the time, and Alice graduated years ago."

"The gym teacher just calls me Briggs all the time and says that she'll be glad when I graduate and she can go on with life without the Briggs Clones driving her crazy." Isabella offered. She would be the easiest to tell from her sisters due to her slightly shorter stature.

"I'm sorry that the whole battalion came with me," Alice shrugged. "My plan was to come get you and prep you before the onslaught, but they all wanted to come along and meet you. Besides, it smells so good out here on the island, with the salt air and pine trees. It kind of makes it worth the ride."

"Alright, let's get going," Cathy said, clapping her hands. "Everyone to their assigned seats. Quinn, why don't you sit behind Alice while she drives. I'll sit next to you. I hope your ready for the Briggs Inquisition."

The girls started climbing into the van, but Quinn turned to Cathy, who had already proved herself to be the coordinator of the group, and asked, "Inquisition?"

Cathy smiled. "Don't worry. We just want to get to know you. Don't be scared. We don't bite."
 

~^~
 

"Annie, you need to calm down," Barbara assured her friend. She'd been surprised to find Ann coming into her workshop mid afternoon that Monday. "Quinn is going to figure it out. He'll be fine."

"How, Barbie? How can he be fine if he hates what he is?" Ann was having a very hard time thinking about anything other than Quinn since she'd left for school that morning.

"Have you talked to his therapist?"

"I did, but she said that she's not really equipped to deal with something like this. She recommended a couple of people and I called them. One can't see him for eight weeks and the other doesn't take our insurance."

"So, did you make an appointment with the one who does accept your insurance?"

"I did," Ann nodded and as she spoke the rest of the sentence, she burst into tears in a way that Barbara had never witnessed, "but what if something happens before then, Barbie? What if he hurts himself? What if he does something worse?"

Barbara ran to hug her friend, frightened herself by the outburst of emotion. "Annie, Annie, come on. You're stressing about something that hasn't happened and probably will never happen. Take a breath, Annie. Come on."

Ann pulled away and tried to calm down, but she was feeling a sense of panic like nothing she'd ever felt before. "Barbie, what if I lose him? I can't. I just can't lose him. He's all I have, Barbie. Everyone else is gone. Without Quinn... Barbie, he's three inches from happiness and he just won't take that step, and he's a foot from disaster and I feel like that's the way he's headed. I'm so, so scared, Barbie."

"Annie..." Barbara was ill equipped for this conversation, but had no choice but to try to calm her friend down. "...just a week ago, all you wanted was for Quinn to get out and start living. Now that he is, you're falling apart about it."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Barbie. A week ago he was a boy who was entirely asexual as far as I knew. Now, he's a trans woman who is denying that he's in love with a boy because people might think that he's a fairy."

"A fairy?"

"His word, Barbie. I think he's just petrified to say the other 'F' word. Barbie, he's accepting who is on one level and completely denying who he is on another." She shook her head. "I just don't know how to help him."

Barbara smiled. "Annie... he told you all of this, right?"

"Yeah," Ann nodded as she wiped her eyes.

"Then you're helping him. Let him talk. That's what he needs."
 

~^~
 

"You know, I think you are the same size as Isabella," Alice told Quinn, trying to be helpful. It had been a fairly fun hour and a half long drive from Quinn's house to the outlet mall in south eastern Massachusetts. The trip had been a blur of conversation, mostly about clothes and boys and some funny stories about Ricky.

Quinn had mostly been able to get by with short answers about his own life. The girls were inquisitive, but not pushy. 'Where did you go to high school? I was homeschooled for high school. Why? Because I had a physical issue and couldn't get around by myself until recently.' 'Do you live with your mom and dad? No, it's just my sister and me.' 'How long have you been playing Louisa Harper at Golden Bluffs? Just a week, now. Is it fun? So much fun.' 'How did you meet Ricky? At dance class.' That lead to long stories about Ricky's involvement in dance class as a boy. The sisters loved to laugh, too, and their free spirits made Quinn laugh, too. He had a great time just being 'one or the girls.'

"Oh, look at this dress," Alice pulled a white sundress with little cherries, stems and leaves printed on it off of the rack. "Damnit. It's too small for me. Bella, come here!"

The youngest sister hustled over to see. "Isn't this pretty? It'll fit you, I think and its only seventeen dollars. You should try it on."

The youngest sister looked at it and made a face. "I don't know. It seems a bit fussy for me. White and I are not good friends. It is pretty though. What I'm really looking for is a romper to wear to Boston next weekend with my friends. Let me know if you see any."

Alice nodded. "Ok." Then she turned to Quinn and held the dress up to him. "That'll look nice on you. What do you say? You want to try it on?"

"Oh, umm..." Quinn looked at the playfully girly dress, a dress that was more casual than any he owned, and decided, "Yes. I would like to try it on."

"Cool. I have these two to try on. Let's go to the dressing rooms."

Alice informed her sisters that she was going to try some things on and Quinn was coming, too.

They had to wait a few minutes for a changing stall to open up, but when it did, Alice grabbed Quinn's hand and led him in. Alice shared her living space and her wardrobe with seven sisters and Quinn had been changing in front of other women for a week, now, so neither gave a thought to changing together, until Quinn began to remove the dress he was wearing.

"Oh," he said, sounding a bit embarrassed, "I should tell you, I have to wear a corset because of a back injury. Without it, I can't stand for more than a few minutes at a time."

"Really?" Alice chirped, happily, as she stepped out of her casual dress. "I have a couple, too. I tried to do some waist training when I was in high school, but my mother found out and had a cow, so I only wear them, now, if I want to smooth my torso out for a special dress."

Ok, that hurdle had been jumped without any problem. Maybe this would be ok, after all. He knew that his biggest secret was tucked into the gusset of his panties, so he dropped his dress and stepped out of it.

"Here," Alice held open the cherry pattern dress for Quinn to step into it. He raised it up and settled it on his shoulders, and as he reached for the zipper in the back, Alice said, "I'll get that for you."

She moved behind Quinn and began to zip it up, but stopped.

"Is everything ok?" He asked.

"Oh, umm, yeah. Sorry. The... the zipper got stuck." She pulled it all the way up. "There. Do you like it?"

Quinn swayed in the mirror, feeling the flow of the skirt, whose hemline was a good long way above his knees. "Yeah. I do. What do you think?"

She looked over his shoulder into the mirror. "I do. It's pretty. You should buy it."

"You think? I promised my sister I wouldn't go crazy spending money. I just got my first paycheck."

Alice took Quinn's hair in her hands and straightened it down his back. "Well, it's a really good price and I'm pretty sure that Ricky will like it on you... I mean... if that's important."

Quinn looked down, then turned to face Alice. "You all must hate me over this Ricky thing, huh?"

Alice raised her eyebrows and smiled. "I don't think so. It's just confusing for us. Rick is... well, he has always worn his heart on his sleeve, you know? When he came to the house after meeting you... he just couldn't stop talking about you. He's like a little boy sometimes and he gets focused on things, but this was different, Quinn. He really likes you. Like - really REALLY likes you. And to be honest, Quinn... you could do a lot worse than Ricky."

"I know." Quinn sat on the bench in the small room. "Ricky is great, but... I'm new to all of this."

"To boys?" Alice sounded surprised.

He nodded. "To boys and... adulthood, and... independence. Everything. Someday I'll tell you the whole sad story."

Alice sat next to him. "Can I ask you a question? It might be a little... personal."

Quinn nodded.

"Being new to... everything... does that have anything to do with all those scars on your back?"

He nodded again.

"We're you hurt, somehow?"

"Yeah. I was paralyzed for a long time because of a car accident. I'm sorry you saw that. I didn't think about those scars. I don't see them, so I don't know what the look like. Are they ugly."

Alice shook her head. "No. Just surprising. Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"Not really. If that's ok."

Alice put her arm around his shoulders. "That's fine."
 

~^~
 

"I think she's freaking out a bit more than you might expect because it's the first time that Quinn's gone anywhere that required a long drive since the accident," Barbara told her mother.

"And I'm sure that's stressful for her," her mother, Carolyn Jenkins, replied. "Not only that, but they'll have to go up and back on Route 295. That's probably the first time that Quinn's gone past the accident site since they cut him out of the car."

"Yeah, but Quinn was unconscious that night, mom. There's no way he'll realize that he's passing that spot."

Carolyn nodded. "Barbara... I'm not talking about Quinn. From what you have told me, I think that Annie is petrified of anything happening to Quinn. For seven years, he has been the sole focus of her life, honey. Despite her impatience with him from time to time, if something happens to that child... it would destroy Annie. I think she's scared because she's petrified that he can't get by without her and, if he can... Where does that leave her? She's in a tough spot. She's worked hard to help him get this far. Now that she's helped to create a wholly-formed human being, her work should be done, but what if he gets broken again? That would break her, too."

'I guess it's like she's more his mother than his sister, huh?'

"I think so, but she took him from child to adult in a very short time. I'd worry about her as much as I'd worry about Quinn."
 

~^~
 

They shopped and ate lunch and shopped and ate ice cream and shopped and laughed and shopped and made a TicToc video with Quinn joining the younger three sisters in a dance set to a popular song, then they shopped and laughed some more.

It was nearly eight that night when they pulled up in front of the three decker home that Grandpa Bill provided for the whole family.

"Grandpa," Cathy called into the kitchen as they entered the front door, "come meet Quinn." Then she yelled up the stairs, "Mom! MOM! Come down for a minute!"

"Oh, my," the girls' grandfather smiled as he came out into the hallway, wiping his hands on a dish towel. "So, this is the famous Quinn I've heard so much about." He extended his hand and Quinn accepted it. "I'm sorry if my hands are a bit damp. I was just doing the dishes." He smiled at the swarm of granddaughters in the hallway. "It was quiet at the table tonight; just your mom and me."

"Where's Ricky? We saw his car outside." Fiona asked.

"He came home to do his laundry. He's around somewhere. Probably up on three." He looked up the stairwell and shouted in a shockingly loud voice, "Rick! Hey, Rick! You've got company!"

"Holy cow, Bill," a woman in her late forties or early fifties made a show of covering her ears as she walked down the stairs. The thing that struck Quinn the most about the woman was how she also shared the same face as all of her daughters. "You're going to burst everyone's eardrums, shouting like that!" She stepped over Hannah and Isabella, who had taken seats on the stairs, and edged her way through the others to Quinn. "I'm the mother of this tribe," she smiled. Quinn extended his hand, but the woman smiled and threw her arms around him. "It's so nice to finally meet you. Ricky just goes on and on about you."

"I do not," Ricky laughed as he hurried down the stairs. "I didn't expect you guys to bring Quinn here."

"We figured that mom and grandpa would like to meet her," Bea smiled. Then she whispered to her younger brother, "Besides, we thought you'd like to drive her home."

"Thanks," Ricky whispered back.

"We talked you up pretty well. Now don't mess it up," she teased in a quiet reply.

He smiled and kissed her cheek. "You guys are the best."

They chatted for a few more minutes, until Ricky said, "I should probably take Quinn home before it gets too late. I have work in the morning."

They said their goodbyes and put Quinn's bags into Ricky's red car, and headed east towards Narragansett Bay.

"My God," Quinn laughed, "I'm exhausted. Your family is so..."

"Loud?" Ricky laughed.

"Joyful might be a better word, but yes, they are loud. I really like them, though."

"I'm glad."

It was quiet for a moment before Quinn said, "They really love you, you know."

He looked at her and smiled. "They're my sisters. They have to love me. You and your sister love each other, don't you?"

"Yeah, but... your sisters... they're like fans of yours or something."

It was quiet again until Quinn spoke once more.

"You know, Ricky... I feel like... there's things about me that, if you knew them... maybe you wouldn't like me any more."

Ricky's brow furrowed and he glanced at Quinn, confused. "Quinn... I'm beginning to see a pattern to our time together. Every time we're together, things start off well... they seem to go better as time passes... and then, as we start to wind things up, you suddenly say cryptic things like that."

Quinn nodded, then looked away, watching the trees pass.

Ricky cleared his throat and said in an unsteady voice, "Ok. I'm just going to put this out there for you to do whatever you want with."

Quinn returned his gaze to Ricky.

It took him a moment to organize his words, but then Ricky spoke. "I like you, Quinn. No... that's not what I mean... Quinn... I have really strong feelings for you. Like... I think... shit, why is this all so awkward to talk about." He took a deep breath. "Quinn... I love you. I truly do, but I'm only saying that because you seem to be the only one who can't see how I feel. Now, before you say anything, let me finish. So... I love you and I know that you don't feel the same way and I know that you're dealing with a lot, so... I'm willing to wait until you see that I'm a good guy."

"I know that you're a GREAT guy, Ricky. I really do, and... I have a lot of feelings about you, too, and... and I'd really like to date you..."

"Cool. Then we're dating." Ricky smiled. "See that was easy."

Quinn chuckled in spite of himself, relieved at the break in the tension.

"Come on," Ricky smiled. "Let's just say we're dating. We're together all the times, anyway. Just say it." He flashed that adorable smile. "Come on, Quinn... just say it."

As the car turned onto Quinn's street, he shook his head and laughed. "Ok. We're dating."

"See! That was easy!" Ricky pulled up in front of Quinn's house. "So... when's our next date?"

Quinn smiled at the irrepressible young man. "Ricky... I need a couple of days to get my head together, ok? I'll see you in class tomorrow, but maybe it would be best if Annie drives me to class tomorrow, ok? Maybe, in a day or two, I'll be able to tell you everything I need to say, ok? I know you've been patient, but... just give me a few more days, ok?"

Ricky put the car in park and said, "Under one condition."

"What's that?"

Instead of answering, Ricky opened his door and got out, hustling over to Quinn's door to open it. He helped him out, grabbed the bags out of the backseat and they started up the short walkway to the front door.

Quinn, who had been waiting for an answer asked once more, as they stepped up onto the front porch. "What condition?" He asked again.

Ricky turned and looked into Quinn's eyes. "Under the condition that you let me kiss you goodnight."

His first impulse was to say 'no,' but the truth was, Quinn wanted to kiss Ricky. He wanted to kiss him a lot.

"Ok," he smiled.

Ricky moved in close and very gently, very softly, very warmly pressed his lips to Quinn's, causing Quinn's belly butterflies to all start flapping their wings again. He would have been content to have stayed just like that, in Ricky's arms, their lips pressed together, forever.

When the kiss ended, both of them opened their eyes and smiled at the intimacy they'd just shared.

"Thank you," Ricky smiled, then gave Quinn one last peck on the lips. "Good night."

Quinn watched as Ricky got back into his red car, made a three point turn and drove away, before entering the house while feeling feelings that he'd never felt before.
 

~^~
 

"Thanks for driving me, Annie. I'll be out right after class ends," Quinn said as he gathered his character shoes and his purse and prepared to get out of Ann's car to go into dance class.

"I don't mind, honey," Ann smiled at him. Earlier her brother had explained to her that he'd asked Ricky for a few days off to gather his thoughts and that he planned on telling Ricky the truth before the weekend. The idea of Quinn telling Ricky the truth was a relief to Ann. It would force Quinn to face his feelings. "I've got my coffee and a few end of the school year reports to fill out, so I'll just stay right here, sip my coffee, fill in my reports and listen to some music. Go have fun."

Quinn kissed his sister's cheek. "Ok. Thanks again. Love you."

"Love you, too," Ann hollered as the door shut.

She watched Quinn walk into the studio. His pretty, blue and white dress, his long, full red hair and the way he moved all made him look like a perfectly put together young woman. There was no boy there at all. Once they got through the whole 'telling Ricky' thing, she'd have to find out what Quinn's long term intentions really were. Just ten days ago, the idea of her brother having surgery to become a woman seemed as far fetched as him having surgery to become an automobile, but now... now, she was expecting him to bring it up to her at some point and she knew that she would support his decision if that's how he wanted to live his life.
 

~^~
 

"Good evening, young lady," an older man with sparkling eyes, a big grin and a thick Irish brogue said, as he held the door to the studio open for Quinn to enter. He doffed his well worn herringbone tweed cap. "You must be new here. Liam's the name."

"How do you do," Quinn smiled as he stepped past the opened door and into the studio. "I'm Quinn. I started last week."

"You don't say." The man followed Quinn in. "I'm gone for a few days and a beautiful girl like you arrives. I bet you already have a partner, don't you? Just my luck." The man was obviously teasing, and Quinn smiled and laughed along with his harmless flirting.

When the were in the studio, both Quinn and Liam were distracted by the sound of laughter and clapping coming from the refreshments table.

"Oh, that's wonderful," Sylvia clapped, then noticed Quinn entering. "Quinn, you're wonderful! Liam come here. You must see this. It's adorable."

In the midst of all the other class members, Ricky stood holding an iPad.

"What are you looking at?" Quinn asked, rather sheepishly, as she and Liam joined the others.

Ricky smiled. "It's the TikTok video you made with my sisters. It's great."

"Oh, God, no!" Quinn laughed, looking over Ricky's shoulder to see himself in the food court at the outlets dancing to a classic Beyoncé song. "Oh, I look like an idiot."

"You look like you were having fun," Sylvia said as she playfully slapped Quinn's arm. Then she looked at the older man. "Liam! Welcome back. How was your granddaughter's graduation?"

The man smiled. "I had a splendid time, Syl, thanks. It was grand to see my family once more before I go."

"Oh, shut up, you old goat," Sylvia joked. "You're ninety three and in better shape than any of us. You'll be giving eulogies at all of our funerals."

Liam chuckled as he glanced at the iPad screen. "Well, you have some impressive moves, young lady. Do you think I might impose on you to dance with me when a foxtrot comes up tonight?"

Quinn looked at Ricky who smiled and nodded.

"I'd be honored," Quinn told the older man.

Just then, Ken, the instructor, called for everyone's attention. "Alright, everyone! Let's get things started with some Dino!" He pressed a button on his phone and Dean Martin's 'Ain't That A Kick In The Head' came through the speakers.

"Well, what do you know. A foxtrot!" Liam smiled.

"What a coincidence!" Quinn teased as he offered the older man his hand.

"Did you say your name is Quinn?"

"I did," Quinn nodded.

"That's your first name?"

"Yes."

"And what's your family name"

Quinn smiled at his inquisitiveness. "Collins."

"Well, isn't that grand? Two fine Irish names."

"Really?" Quinn had never really investigated his name. He knew that 'Quinn' was an Irish last name, but he didn't know much about 'Collins.'

"Indeed," Liam pulled Quinn into the correct foxtrot position and kept speaking. "Quinn is an ancient family name and, of course, we all know about the great Michael Collins. Perhaps you are related."

"Perhaps I am," Quinn smiled, then looked at Ricky and raised his eyebrows as if to say, 'I have no idea who Michael Collins is.'

They danced away.

Truth be told, Ricky had no knowledge of Irish history at all, so hadno idea who Michael Collins was, either, so he retreated to the chairs on the side of the room and entered 'Michael Collins Wikipedia' into the search engine.

When the site opened he read, 'Michael Collins (Irish: Mícheál Ó Coileáin) 16 October 1890 - 22 August 1922) was an Irish revolutionary, soldier, and politician who was a leading figure in the early-20th century Irish struggle for independence. He was Chairman of the Provisional Government of the Irish Free State from January 1922 until his assassination in August 1922...'

It went on from there, but Ricky felt as if that was enough information to tell Quinn so that Liam didn't think that these two young people were idiots. He looked up and caught Quinn's eye and help up the tablet and pointed at it, then mouthed very broadly, 'Mi-chael Col-lins.'

Quinn saw the Wikipedia page, realized what Ricky was mouthing, then smiled and nodded.

Ricky watched the couples dance by for a moment, then he remembered something that Quinn's sister, Ann, had said as he was leaving their house on Saturday afternoon. He thought about Ann's cryptic words for a moment, then turned his attention back to the iPad, opened a new window and typed 'Ann Collins' into the search engine. That search reaped thousands of results, none of which seemed relevant, though, so he added 'Rhode Island' to the search.

That brought up a few mentions of the correct Ann Collins - Graduated from Salve Regina College with a Bachelors Degree in Education. Graduated from Brown University with a Masters Degree in Education focusing in Special Needs and Learning Disorders. Accepted to Brown University's Doctoral Program in Educational Research focusing on Dyslexia and Autism... Definitely the right woman, but still irrelevant.

He thought for a moment, then entered 'Quinn Collins' into the search engine.

This search brought up some relevant stories. The first was from The Providence Journal and was dated seven years ago. The part of the headline visible on the search engine's page read, 'Three Family Members Dead And One In Critical Condition Following a Collision...'

Ricky looked up at Quinn dancing with Liam and judged how long remained in the song. At least a minute and a half.

He touched the story and it opened revealing the full headline, 'Three Family Members Dead And One In Critical Condition Following a Collision With A Tractor Trailer On Route 295.' Beneath the already chilling headline, there was a high definition photograph of what had once been a car, but that, at the time of the photo being taken, had become a horrifying mess of ripped and twisted metal.

Ricky felt his stomach tighten at the sight of the photo. He glanced up at Quinn and thought about what his grandfather had said about passing the accident as Quinn had been being put into an ambulance and he almost wept at the pain that Quinn had gone through. He began reading.

'Traffic came to a stand still for nearly two hours last night as emergency responders worked to free the passengers of a Honda Civic that was forced into a concrete barrier when a tractor trailer driven by Eliot Winston of Cranston crossed into the Honda's lane at approximately 10:15pm yesterday evening. Authorities stated that Mr Winston, who was operating the vehicle on an expired license, admitted to falling asleep while driving and was taken into custody at the scene. The Collins family of Portsmouth was returning from a birthday celebration at Six Flags New England. Parents Anthony and Karen Collins and their sixteen year old son, Anthony Collins Jr, were pronounced dead at the scene. A fourth passenger...'

"Ricky, could you pick up the case of water for me?" Sylvia called over to him, interrupting his reading.

Ricky looked up at Sylvia, and shook his head. "I'm sorry. What?"

"Can you give me a hand with this case of water?" Sylvia said. "Are you ok?"

Ricky put the iPad to the side and stood. "Oh... yeah... sorry." He went to help Sylvia as the song ended.

"Whew!" Quinn smiled and fanned himself. He smiled at the old man. "Thank you for the dance."

"No, no, thank you." Liam smiled and gave a shallow, but very gallant bow. "I hope we dance together again soon."

"I'm sure we will," Quinn laughed, then crossed to where he'd seen Ricky sitting.

Ricky was not there, but Quinn spotted him at the refreshment table, helping with a case of water.

Quinn did notice the iPad though and picked it up, expecting to see an article about Michael Collins, but instead saw an article he'd seen several times before.

Quinn felt as though his heart stopped as he read the article and reached the last sentence of the first paragraph.

'A fourth passenger, fourteen year old Quinn Collins, son of the deceased couple, was pulled from the wreckage using the jaws of life and transported to a nearby hospital where he is reported to be in critical condition and is not expected to live...'

It went on from there, but that was enough. All Ricky had to do was read the first paragraph and it was all over.

He'd know.

No.

If he'd called up this article, he'd already read the first paragraph.

He knew.

Ricky all ready knew, but he was just being polite because there were other people around.

Quinn considered his options and the most logical one appeared to be - leave. Leave now, as quickly and quietly as he could.

He glanced towards the refreshment table. There were a few people grabbing water and Ricky was engaged with them. Quinn moved with a forced casualness as he laid the iPad back on a chair and picked up his purse and his street shoes, then headed for the door as quickly as possible, without attracting attention.

He passed outside and made a beeline to Ann's car. His sister looked up startled as Quinn fell into the passenger seat and slammed the door shut.

"Quinn..." she began to ask, but Quinn interrupted.

"Just go, Annie. Please, just go. He knows, Annie. Please, just go. PLEASE just go. Now! PLEASE!"

Ann put her work and coffee aside and buckled her seat belt. "Are you sure? What did he say? How did he...?'

"ANNIE, PLEASE JUST GO!"

"Ok. Ok," Ann put the car in gear and pulled out.

Inside, Ken called out, "It's waltz time, ladies and gentlemen. Grab your partners."

Ricky took the plastic that had held the case of water together to the waste basket and dropped it in, then turned to find Quinn so they could waltz together, but she wasn't anywhere to be seen. He looked around the dance floor to see if Liam had hijacked her again, but Liam was chatting with a couple of dancers on the other side of the room.

He looked around once more, then walked to Sylvia and her partner and asked, "Have you seen Quinn?"

Sylvia pointed to where Quinn had been a moment earlier. "She's right over... huh... She was just there a moment ago."

'Do me a favor, will you," Ricky asked, beginning to feel a bit panicky. "Would you just check in the ladies' room and see if she's in there? I'm a little nervous that she might have gotten sick."

"Of course, honey," Sylvia smiled, trying to comfort him.

She walked to the ladies' room and called as she entered. "Quinn? Quinn? Are you in here?" She turned to Ricky who was waiting by the door and shrugged. "Sorry. She's not in here."

Ricky hustled back to where he'd last seen Quinn, the same place that he'd been looking at the iPad. That was when he noticed that Quinn's purse and other set of shoes were gone. "Shit," he whispered. "Why the heck would she have...?"

He ran out the door and looked around the parking lot. No Quinn.

He knew that Ann had driven Quinn to class and he'd seen Ann's car several times, so he looked about for it. Nothing. He ran to the street and looked up and down. About three blocks away, he saw a car that could have been Ann's turn right onto another street, but he couldn't be sure if it was her car or not.

He turned in a circle and looked everywhere. No sign of Quinn, or Ann or the car.

Finally, he clasped both hands to his temples in frustration, then yelled as loudly as he could. "Quinn! Quinn! Quinn!" but nobody responded.
 
 
To Be Continued...