I'm human and I'm falling
But you tell me, I'm flying
But it's building, and I can't breathe
Wanna feel the way that I used to be

Julie had a field day when I told my family I was going to Winterfest. Mom smiled and said, “that’s great Joanna.” Dad continued reading the evening paper. Julie squealed with delight when I said I would wear the green dress, and she started rambling on all the things that could be done to bring me to a level of si belle that never had been seen in the walls of a high school soiree. Mom agreed that we needed to do something special. Dad continued reading the paper. The mood kind of changed when I told everyone who I was going with.
“He seems to be a good guy.”
“He is,” I replied to Julia.
“But, Joanna, you absolutely hated him for the past four years.”
“Misplaced aggression, Mom.”
“What would Dr. Paris say?” Dad asked as the newspaper folded in and he looked at me.
“She would tell me that it is a step forward in healing. To know that he’s not the jackass, rapist thug I have painted him to be in mind.”
“What about Frank? He’s a…decent guy?” Mom asked.
“He’s just a friend, Mom,” Julie commented with a wink.
“He has his date, and I have mine.”
Dad laid the paper down and leaned into the couch, placing his hands on his face as if to perform a Vulcan mind-meld. “Here comes the headache I knew would come eventually.”
“No dinners, no afterward events. Just being there. It’s more of a friend kind of thing.”
“He’s your friend, or a friend?” Dad asked.
“We’re not doing the flower things. We almost agreed to just wearing jeans and matching t-shirts.”
“Si tu veux ressembler à de la merde, alors d'accord,” Julie replied with an eyeroll.
“What of my own accord?”
“When is the dance over?” Dad asked, with his hands still on his face and his eyes closed.
“Eleven o’clock.”
“It takes under thirty minutes to get here from Reardan.” Dad sprung to his feet and looked at his watch. “If he does not pull up. The. Hill at or before 11:45 I will call the police, SWAT, and the national guard.”
“No search and rescue?”
“It will be more like a search and recovery,” he replied.
“We can be back in time. It may take me longer to get ready than the maybe a few minutes we’ll be at the dance. I don’t like dances.”
“Then why are you even going? Why go with the Tony guy?”
“It’s a thing, Dad. No one wants to look back at high school and remember that they never went to a dance or a party,” Julie took a few steps over to me.
“Not really where I was going with that,” I replied.
“We need to work on her hair. Mom, how should we style it?”
“As long as you don’t douse me with that perfume.”
“I have a few more for you.”

Saturday, around one in the afternoon, began for hour hours of torture. No part of my anatomy or mentality was spared as Julie ran me through a fashionista obstacle course. I woke up from the trauma and found myself in a green dress with my hair styled in something I had glimpsed on a cover of “Cosmo”. I liked the way it all looked, but not enough to try and do it every day.
“You, dear sister, are going to turn a lot of heads.”
“Just the words I was afraid you’d say.”
“Not going to lie to you.”
I closed my eyes and sighed because I didn’t want to look at the pretty girl in the mirror and make her feel bad. I opened my eyes to see her looking at me with a “let’s go. It’s going to fun,” expression. I nodded to her and then to Julie.
“Thank you, Julie.”
“You’re welcome. Now, if we could get you to do this every day.”
The doorbell rang and both of us looked out the open bedroom door and into the hallway.
“Moment of true,” I said with a swallow as the front door opened.
“He’s going to love you.”
I hobbled out of the room and turned to look down from the top of the staircase. Tony stood next to my parents. He was dressed in a black suit with a green tie and had a clear box in his hands.
“Hello, Tony.”
“Oh, you look so beautiful, doesn’t she honey?” Mom gushed.
“You look very pretty, Joanna,” Dad replied as Mom grabbed his left arm with both hands.
“Thank you.”
I looked to Tony who opened the box. “I know you said none of the extras, but you can’t have a dance wearing a dress without a corsage. It’s a wrist version.”
“Sounds good,” I replied with a nod as Tony placed the ribbon cladded flowers onto my wrist with a small smile.
“Remember what I said, Joanna?” Dad asked.
“We need to be back here by 11:45 or death will occur.”
“Whose?” Tony asked.
“We shall see,” Dad replied as he pointed at both of us. “No pressure. Have fun!”

Tony drove at a steady pace down US highway two. The dance was held off-site from the school at the local Grange Hall, about five miles outside of Reardan. It was used by the school for dances, drama club plays and other special functions that the gym or multi-purpose room could not accommodate. The parking sucked and it was best to arrive early to get a good space without having to park on the side of the road.
We arrived to see the lot already congested with cars, but we were able to find a spot with enough space for me to get out of the car without tripping on my crutches. We passed by a guy leaning next to a car. He gave off a creepy vibe as we walked past. I almost asked Tony to tackle him down as I felt something was off. I dared to look back at him and he was looking at me.
“Ever seen him before?” I asked Tony after we stepped inside the hall.
“No. New student, I guess.”
I wanted to step back outside and observe the strange guy but decided not to. Perhaps he was someone’s date from another school.
“Looks like everything’s already in full swing.”
The air was filled with a fast-paced dance song I had never heard before and it had a country vibe to it. It was the kind of sound that would invoke a line dance, but the cowboys of our school never arrived at dances early. However, once they heard a fast-paced country swing song it was best to step to the side of the dance floor, lest you become a human pinball. It was an interesting feat to see, as I had been told, and I hoped a swing down would occur during Winterfest.
The room started to crowd up on the sides as more couples arrived.
“Do think I should try without these? I mean, I’ll have to hop on one foot.”
“We will move oh-so slow for you.”
The country song segued to a slower-paced song to lure everyone off the sides and onto the floor. I took a deep breath and laid my crutches against the wall.
“Not a word to my parents,” I said as I tried to balance and nearly fell over.
“Not a word about what?” Tony asked with a wink as he wrapped his arms around to help me stand.
I had avoided feeling anything for Tony. Yes, I said we came as friends. Yes, I wanted to use this chance to perhaps get Frank’s attention, but the more we stood, turning in a slow counterclockwise motion, the more I had to wonder more about Tony. He had asked me to this dance. He knew my history, perhaps more than I should have felt comfortable with, but at that time, during that song, I could only place my head against his shoulder.
“I’m sorry about that dance.”
“I know,” I replied.
“Can I ask you something?”
“You always have questions,” I replied as I looked up at him.
“If one never asks, one never learns.”
“What’s your question?”
“I know...I know how close you are to Frank, and if that’s an issue..”
“He’s been my friend since forever,” I said as the song came to a stop and another one, still on the slow side, kicked in. “I’ve felt like a girl in junior high about him but,” I swallowed hard before speaking again.
There was a look of fear in Tony’s eyes as if I was about to stab him in the heart.
“And I love him as a friend, I’d never want to let anything happen to him.”
“I don’t want anything to happen to you, but I want to be more than just your friend. If you’ll let me.”