***FYI This is the first of three chapters that will be shared here on BC***

CHAPTER ONE

Hollywood is a weird town. I know that’s not exactly a hot take, but hear me out.

When I call Hollywood ‘weird’, I’m not referring to the grungy, carnival-like atmosphere of the tourist trap that is Hollywood Boulevard — though that entire strip is pretty bizarre with its grotesque museums, kitschy bars, and folks in Spiderman or Yoda costumes conning you into paying for a picture. No, I’m referring to the business of it all. Specifically, the writing business.

Maybe it’s my own fault for being so naïve, but damn if this town doesn’t chew you up and spit you out before you can even yell the word ‘action’. And I’ve been luckier than most.

I’m serious. I really have been lucky. We’ve all heard the stories, right? Every summer, thousands of people migrate to LA hoping to meet an agent, manager, or producer who’ll read their script and turn it into the next big hit. They tell themselves, ‘It’ll happen, I know it will! I just need a year!’. But one year becomes two which then becomes ten, and before you know it, you’re on the bus back to Phoenix or Pensacola or wherever the hell you came from with nothing to show for it.

And by some miracle, I was able to avoid that fate.

Long story short, my creative writing professor in college liked a short story I wrote about an alien emerging from the ocean to attack humanity. That same professor had a producer friend in Hollywood who had just sold a show about — you guessed it — an alien who emerges from the ocean to attack humanity. He shared my short story with the producer who loved it and hired me to write on his show.

Bing. Bang. Boom. It was serendipity at its finest. I’m fresh out of college with a professional writing credit, an agent, and the brightest possible future. That is, until the studio killed our show mere days before going into production. Something about a tax break they could get by shelving our project. In one fell swoop, my string of good luck was brought to a disastrous end.

But the worst part of it all? That was six months ago and I haven’t even sniffed work since.

It took a few minutes, but the woman in front of me in line finally finished ordering. I stepped up to the counter.

“A small black coffee, please,” I said to the barista — a cute, young blonde woman who smiled and nodded.

In stereotypical Los Angeles fashion, it’s middle of the week and one of my favorite west-side coffee shops is full of readers, writers, and creatives chugging away on their personal projects.

For the longest time, I thought this was the strategy that worked best for me. I’d show up to a café at 9 A.M. and treat it like a ‘real’ job — writing all morning, taking an hour for lunch then hopping to a different coffee shop where I’d write til the evening. Effective enough, yeah?

“Black coffee for Will?” a male barista shouted from the other end.

I reached over the counter for my cup, but the man’s hand retracted as he shot me an odd glare.

“Will,” he clarified with some hesitation.

Now you’d think a barista wouldn’t employ much scrutiny over one order, but I quickly, and unfortunately, knew why he did.

“Yep, that’s me,” I said, intentionally lowering my voice a bit and rising on my toes for a few extra inches.

The man blushed, of course, realizing his error. “Oh shit, sorry, I…”

“I’m a guy,” I answered. “Promise. But all good, it happens more than you think.”

Not looking to get caught in an apology twister, I snatched my cup and quickly retreated to a table in the back of the shop. However I took a moment to shove my just-past shoulder-length auburn hair under a baseball cap to avoid confusing anyone else. Not that my thin frame and short stature did me any favors either – there’s not much I can do in that department.

Laptop open, coffee beside it, Word document open. What to write, what to write…

*DING*

Ugh! I know I should turn off my phone, but part of me likes to keep it on on the crazy off-chance Kendra, my agent, calls with some sort of miracle job offer. But glancing down at my phone, it wasn’t my frustratingly distant agent.

It was Erica, my sister.

‘How about a fun surprise?’, her text read.

What? A fun surprise? Why was she texting me, and what the hell was she talking about?

My head darted around the coffee shop, examining faces to see if I was getting pranked. Is she here?

She couldn’t be. Erica lives in Chicago. I mean, she travels a lot for work, but never LA. Plus, Erica and I talk maybe twice a year. We’re not on bad terms or anything, we just, like many adult siblings, have nothing in common.

My phone dinged again. ‘Come on! Call me for your fun surprise!’

Okay, now this is just annoying. I’ve barely even sipped my coffee and I’m getting harassed by my sister from across the country in the middle of a work day. But damn it if a ‘fun surprise’ doesn’t pique my interest.

I got up and scurried to a corner of the coffee shop for some privacy. Sure enough, Erica picked up on the first ring.

“Helloo-oo?” Erica picked up in a silly voice.

“You know it’s the middle of a work day, right?” I began, admittedly a little hostile.

“Yeah, I’m working too, doofus,” she answered in a similarly curt tone. “What’re you doing right now?”

I glanced around the coffee shop, wondering if I should answer honestly. “I’m working,” I said back. Hey, it’s not technically lying…

“Mocha for Brett!” the male barista screamed out as if he knew I was on the phone.

Erica chuckled over the phone. “Working… at a coffee shop…”

I groaned, starting to feel like her ‘surprise’ was just to make me feel shitty. “What do you want? I’m busy.”

I could hear her slap her head through the phone. “Will, I didn’t call you to give you shit about not having a job, alright? I’m sorry if it came across that way. I actually do have a surprise for you.”

My eyebrow raised. “Go on…”

“Actually, it’s kind of perfect you don’t have a job right now because get this — you know those promotions they do on the radio for vacations and shit? Like, radio sweepstakes? Well I never fucking listen to the radio, but I was in an uber to O’Hare last week one of the stations was running a promotion for a two-week trip to Hawaii. And I shit you not… I FUCKING WON!!!”

“Woah!” I gasped, genuinely shocked. “Are you serious? Two weeks? In Hawaii?”

“Yeah!!” she squealed, over the moon. “They called me literally an hour ago!”

Well, that certainly wasn’t the news I was expecting. If I had to bet, it would’ve had something to do with our parents getting sick or something terrible. But this is much better.

“Well shit, that’s insane,” I told her sincerely. “Seriously. Congrats.”

“But that’s not all. I was thinking, you know, since Hawaii is a schlep for most people — not to mention most people aren’t as lucky as me and can take two weeks’ vacation on a dime — I thought, ‘Hey, I have a super cool brother I haven’t caught up with in a while. Maybe he’d like to join me!’”

I paused on the phone for a moment, struggling to believe her. “You wanna invite… me?”

Perhaps I wasn’t grateful quickly enough. “Uh, YES, Will! What’s so crazy about that? You’ve got the time, don’t you?”

Jesus… I’m not even 15 minutes into my ‘work’ day and I’m already getting vacation offers. If only my writing could move this fast.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no issue spending time with my sister – even if we don’t exactly keep in touch. And while I’ve never been to Hawaii, I’m sure I’d have no issues. But is a vacation really what I need right now? It’s been six months since I last worked. How the hell can I justify even more time off?

“How much is this gonna cost?” I asked, putting back on my interrogation hat. “You know there’s always a catch with these things.”

“No catch! All you gotta do is pay for the airfare,” she said confidently. “And boo-hoo, I know you made bank from that alien show. You can’t buy one round-trip flight?”

She’s not wrong. TV writing pays extraordinarily well. Though without a regular job that cash has been dwindling fast.

“Come on, Will. Don’t be a cheapskate!”

“It’s not just the money, Erica, it’s… Ugh! You wouldn’t get it. Consultants don’t understand writers.”

I could feel her eyes roll over the phone.

“Maybe so,” she began, “but consultants do understand burnout. And shit, if you haven’t gotten a job in six months — maybe you just need to clear your head. Tell me, what are you writing right now?”

Reluctantly, I stared at the blank Word document on the table, the cursor blinking, ready for anything to be typed.

Hanging my head, I practically folded in defeat. “I… I have no fucking clue...”

“And that’s okay! You’ve been bumming around LA for months. Come to Hawaii, clear your head! Maybe it’ll give you some perspective. Get inspired again.”

As much as I hate to admit it, I think Erica is right. A flight to Hawaii isn’t cheap, and another two weeks of not working is pretty terrifying too. But if it even gives me the slightest chance of slaying the beast that is that blank sheet of paper… Do I really have a choice?

Letting out a huge sigh, I finally caved. “Alright… I’m in.”

“Woohooooo!” my sister exploded over the phone. “Hell yeah, Will! I gotta hop in this meeting, but I’ll send you dates and times. Three more days, and we’re off to Hawaii!!”

========

I must’ve gone back and forth a hundred times on my decision to join Erica in Hawaii over the past three days. But each time I sat down and painfully struggled to write a single sentence, it reminded me how unsustainable the status quo was. My life needed a shake-up and, at the very least, booking travel and efficiently packing a suitcase (50 pounds to the ounce!) gave me a couple of line items to cross off.

While Erica had a roughly eight-hour flight to Hawaii from Chicago, being in Los Angeles, I was already halfway there. ‘Half the distance is half the money’ was one of the mental reminders I forced upon myself during moments of doubt. But honestly, once I was actually on the plane, I started getting excited. In fact, I even felt a little clearer-headed. It was as if the Pacific Ocean thousands of feet beneath me was already washing away my stresses and struggles.

And whoever is in charge of the Honolulu Airport deserves considerable praise for creating a tropical atmosphere out of what is normally a stuffy, miserable place. It’s not perfect, but the effort to make tourists feel transported the moment they step off the plane is deeply appreciated.

Not more than 30 seconds after grabbing my suitcase at baggage claim did I hear a recognizably shrill scream that brought me back to reality.

“Vacaaaaaation tiiiiiimeeeee!” Erica shrieked excitedly from down the corridor, fumbling her massive luggage as she sprinted toward me.

While definitely not my style, I let her plow into my arms for a big ‘ol sister hug that nearly knocked me over. And with her 6 inches of height on me, it’s entirely possible. Not to mention almost suffocating me with her head of thick, wavy blonde hair.

“You made it! We made it! Eeeeeee!” she squealed.

I chuckled awkwardly, feeling embarrassed in front of strangers. Though I did appreciate her enthusiasm.

“I hope you’re not like this around clients. You’d scare the shit out of ‘em and never hire your firm again!”

She laughed. “Then it’s good I don’t have any clients in Hawaii because we are OFF. THE. CLOCK! Woo!”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Erica this excited. Granted, she’s seven years older than me, having just turned 30, so it’s not like I ever got to see what she was like as a child. Though I imagine it’s similar to this.

Already Erica was dancing and juking side-to-side like a boxer getting pumped up for a fight. “C’mon Will, you gettin’ excited? You ready for Hawaiiiiii?”

“Heh well…” I said sheepishly at first, but thought about her question. “Actually, yes. I am. I mean, we’re not even at the resort and I feel better. LA’s nice and all… but Hawaii just hits different.”

Erica smiled warmly. “Then I brought the right person! C’mon, let’s get a cab.”

Our resort was a not-so-convenient 45-minute trip from the airport. But I barely noticed for two reasons. 1) Erica wouldn’t shut up the entire time about how ‘luxurious’ her experience was flying first class, and 2) the scenery of the Hawaiian islands was simply unmatched. Lush greenery, crystal-clear skies, towering mountains in the distance, and with the windows rolled down, the soothing smell of the ocean.

As we traded the highway for the countryside, we passed pineapple farms and quaint little roadside stands selling what must be the freshest fruit. If the flight itself hacked off one chunk of my anxiety and creative fogginess, I can safely say the ride to the resort hacked off another.

Finally, I spotted a road sign directing us to ‘Ocean Oasis Beach Resort’ — our home for the next two weeks.

“There it is!” I pointed out. “Ocean Oasis, half a mile away!”

I turned to Erica who, curiously, didn’t look quite as eager. In fact, she was keeping an eye out for something.

“Actually, you can drop us off at that little café up there,” she instructed the cab driver. “The one with the blue sign. See it?”

The man shrugged but did as told, pulling off to the side.

“What are you doing?” I prodded, puzzled. “The resort’s up there. You can see it!”

But Erica didn’t answer me. Instead, she left the car and stood silently as the cab driver helped remove our bags. She paid the fare, tipped the man, and sent him away without answering my question.

“Uhh, hey? Why did we stop?” I repeated. “Now we gotta walk the rest of the way!”

Erica paused for a moment and took a deep breath. Her joy and attitude from the airport and most of our cab ride had been stripped away, replaced with how I imagine she presents herself at work.

“Will, there’s one little wrinkle in our plans. You know how I said I won a trip for two?”

I gulped, suddenly fearful of my sister. “Yeah…”

“Well it is for two people…”

Erica swiftly unzipped her suitcase and pulled out a garment atop her clothes pile – a light, flowy, yellow garment that looked a lot like a dress.

She looked me dead in the eyes. “...but it’s a trip for two girls. So I need you to put this on.”

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Two more sample chapters will be posted this week, but the entirety of Two Weeks of Wendy is on Amazon right now!

Thanks for reading :)

-Jennifer

AMAZON LINK: https://www.amazon.com/Two-Weeks-Wendy-Gradual-Feminization-...