by Saless
Chapter 42

After the movie Erica turned to Sarah and said, "You haven't told your parents about this, have you? That's why you're not going to see them for Christmas, right?"

Sarah shrugged, "I probably wouldn't have gone anyway. We don't really get along. And I'm certainly not going back now!" Sarah finished with a shudder.

Ah! So that's why you hide from yourself! Why don't you tell Erica about that?! Vash exclaimed, giving Sarah a momentary headache.

Ow! What are you talking about?! Sarah replied angrily.

*Sigh!* Why am I not surprised? You humans are entirely too good at blocking out entire portions of your psyche from yourselves. It's a wonder you don't all have multiple personalities! Vash grumbled.

What?! Sarah asked, bewildered.

I'll give you an example you'll actually listen to. Mike. He's a nice guy, right? Always considerate of others and all that? Vash sent.

Sure, what are you getting at? Sarah thought.

He's also very protective of those he cares about, like you and Jill. He'll fight to protect you without a second thought, even if it means killing someone. How is it he can hurt people, even kill them, without crippling guilt? Vash asked.

Because he's protecting someone else. What's the big deal? Sarah replied.

The 'big deal' is that you are also a kind and considerate person, though you don't show it as much. Yet hurting others causes you a great deal of guilt and pain. This is consistent with your personality, but Mike doesn't have the same issues. It's like he's two completely different people as needed. Most of you humans are like that, to at least some degree. I find it astonishing that more of you don't break down completely trying to reconcile such conflicting parts of yourselves. Vash explained.

Maybe you don't understand humans as well as you think you do. Sarah said.

Maybe. he replied, and fell silent.

"Are you talking to Vash again?! Being left out of the loop is getting really annoying." Erica griped.

"Sorry, I can't help it. If he could talk to you, I'm sure he would. He'd probably talk your ear right off, in fact. He has some weird ideas about people." Sarah said.

"Like what?" Erica asked.

"He thinks we're all one step away from going insane, or developing multiple personalities or something." Sarah replied vaguely. She faintly heard Vash grumbling, That's not what I said and you know it! but ignored him.

"That's weird." Erica agreed. "So, how are you going to deal with your parents?"

"By avoiding them until I've changed back." Sarah replied resolutely.

Erica rolled her eyes, "Oh come on! What about when they call? My parents call me every week or two!"

"My parents don't call. We don't get along, remember?" Sarah said.

"Why not?" Erica asked. "You've never explained that."

Sarah shrugged, "I'm just not what they hoped for, I guess. Not choosing a major hasn't helped any, but they've never been all that pleased with me."

"I don't know how you can be so offhand about it!" Erica said.

"I'm used to it. It's no big deal." Sarah replied.

"Yes it is! Once you're back to yourself we're going to go see them and get this straightened out!" Erica declared.

"No! You'll just make it worse!" Sarah protested. "Just leave it alone, it doesn't bother me. Really."

"But…" Erica began, but Sarah cut her off.

"No. Leave it alone." She said. Erica was surprised at how Sarah was standing up for herself, but so pleased as well that she let it drop.

"So what's in that freezer of yours?" she asked, changing the subject much to Sarah's relief.

"I've got a few containers left of the last concoction I made. Mike and Jill seemed to like it when I made it for them." Sarah replied.

"What's in it?" Erica asked.

"Oh, lots of stuff. Onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, ground turkey, peppers, garlic, celantro, rosemary, oregano, and whatever else I can find fresh that seems to fit in. And cheese, of course!" Sarah said.

"Of course! I know how much you like cheese. You used all fresh ingredients? I haven't seen you do that before." Erica said.

Sarah nodded, "Yeah, the first time I did it was mostly to see how much difference it would really make. I don't do it often though, because I'm lazy and don't like having to go shopping for each meal. Most of that stuff doesn't last long at all."

"So how much difference did it make?" Erica asked.

"Quite a bit, actually. I always thought all the fuss about fresh ingredients was exaggerated, but it was a lot better. I always make a lot because it's a lot of trouble, so I can make it last a long time." Sarah replied.

"Sounds good, let's warm it up." Erica suggested. Sarah pulled out two containers and, after adding a little more cheese, popped them in the microwave.

After dinner and a quick clean up they returned to the living room. "I'll be right back." Sarah said, and went to her room. Opening the closet she brought out a small wrapped package and returned to Erica. "Merry Christmas!" she exclaimed, holding the package out to her.

Erica's face lit up in a smile as she took the small box and unwrapped it. Her smile widened as she opened the box and found a locket with a picture of herself with Sean taken during the summer. The inscription read, "I'll always love you, S." Sarah helped Erica put it on.

"Thanks Sean, I love it!" Erica exclaimed.

"I'm glad," Sarah said with a sad smile, "I just hope it's not the last time you see that face."

Erica pulled Sarah down onto the couch and kissed her passionately. Sarah lost herself in the kiss, but the feeling of Sarah's breasts against her own reminded Erica of her situation and she pulled back awkwardly. "Sorry." She mumbled.

"Why?" Sarah asked brokenly.

"You're a girl." Erica said as if it explained everything.

"So? I love you." Sarah said with tears in her eyes.

"I love you too! It's just…I don't know!" Erica said in frustration. "Argh!" she exclaimed as Sarah ran crying from the room. She ran after her, but found the door closed and Vash standing in front of it, hissing loudly at her.

"Get out of the way Vash!" Erica said, stepping towards the door. Vash hissed again and growled, a surprisingly deep and threatening sound for such a small creature. "Why are you trying to stop me?" she said.

Vash gave her a look that somehow conveyed his annoyance with her. Then he tossed a small rock into the air and stared at it as it flew slowly towards Erica. A distortion appeared in the air and struck the stone, propelling it much quicker at Erica and striking her in the forehead.

"Ouch! What was that for?!" Erica complained.

Vash growled again, sounding more like a mountain lion than the small furry creature he was. He glanced back at Sarah's bedroom door and then at Erica with another look that promised mayhem if Erica didn't back off.

Erica slouched against the wall in defeat. "Okay, you're right, I screwed up! But he's a girl right now! Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that is for me?! It's like he's an entirely different person! He doesn't even act the same way, though some of it's an improvement." She said. Vash replied by pointing back towards the living room with one paw and hissing again.

"Okay, I get it! I'll leave him alone for a while." Erica grumbled. Vash hissed again, and Erica hurried back to the living room and plopped onto the couch. "Damn furball!" she complained with tears in her eyes.

Erica laid down on the couch and cried. I've really screwed up, haven't I? she thought, But he's a girl! I'm not into girls, am I? I never have been before! But it felt right for a moment…

A couple of hours later Mike and Jill entered the apartment to find Erica fast asleep on the couch. "Wonder what they were doing that she fell asleep so early?" Mike wondered aloud.

"Well it's not what I thought they might be doing, or she wouldn't be alone." Jill said with a frown. Vash? Are you here? she sent.

I'm here. Things have been…interesting, in your absence. They had a falling out of sorts and both fell asleep crying alone. I tried to cheer Sarah up, but I don't think I accomplished much. he replied.

What about Erica? Were you able to cheer her up any? Making her happy is usually a good route to making Sarah happy. Jill thought to him.

I can't, she's a Null. I managed to convey to her that she should let Sarah alone for a little while, but that's the best I could manage. Vash explained.

A null? What's that? Jill asked.

It's why the wizard's attack didn't do anything to her, and why we can't sense her thoughts or emotions. To magic and psionics she doesn't exist. Vash replied.