Michelle settles into her life as a woman, wife and mother. The grandparents come for a Christmas visit.Mike versus Michelle: Part 18 Santa Claus Is Coming To Town By Sharon Parsons

 
Have you ever had one of those days where everything goes right? You wake up in the morning and the sun is shining and the birds are singing? Everything tastes great. Your hair is perfect. People are nice to you, and so on and so on. I was having more than one of those days. I was having one of those months, and each month kept getting better than the month before it.

My life changed forever after making love with Dave. I felt warm and squishy from the time I woke up and until I finally fell asleep. And then it would start all over again. Sex had become a regular part of our life together as husband and wife.

Dr. Martha said that I had won an important internal battle against the boy within. She warned me that the fight would never be over, but that the woman inside me had taken the upper hand. She encouraged me to do whatever was necessary to keep my male side suppressed. The obvious question was how?

Dr. Martha told me to keep doing what I was doing. Be a wife to Dave and a mother to Cam and Gary. She said to be a friend to my mother. I was told to follow my bliss and just be happy.

Everyone who knew me recognized the change that had come over me. They said I looked more relaxed and confident. I had become very comfortable living my life as a woman.

I worked hard from the moment I woke up until the time I went to sleep, but I wasn't stressed about it. I knew that at the end of the day, every thing I had done to manage the house and keep my family happy would be appreciated.

I spent time with my mother and the other ladies when I wasn't busy running my household. I enjoyed their company and I loved spending time with my mother as her equal.

Being my mother's equal was an amazing feeling and I was so proud of myself for accomplishing it at such a young age. I hadn't turned 18 yet, but I looked and acted much older. Anyone who didn't know the truth about me would have suspect that I was in my early 30's because of the way I handled myself. Of course I'd patterned all of my behaviors after my mother.

The thing I remember most about this time in my life was that it was both guilt free and arousal free. I began to enjoy my life as a woman without feeling guilty about it or even being aroused by it. I was more turned on by my husband's kisses than I was by dressing femininely or smoking like a woman. I began to take those things for granted. I had become more than a cross-dresser with a smoking fetish. I was a wife, and a mother, a woman. That's how I thought of myself, and it was joyful and liberating.

******

As I said, having sex with Dave changed my life. For the most part, the change was welcome, but there were some repercussions.

I'm not saying my mother is a blabber mouth, but she did pass on a sanitized version to my father. Was it necessary? I don't know. I would think most fathers know their daughters have sex with their husbands without having to hear about it. I don't know why my mother felt the need to tell my father, but I think it was her way of justifying her decision to allow me to transition and start smoking at such a young age. She wanted my father to know I was happy.

Our father/son relationship had deteriorated one piece at a time from the moment he saw me wearing a dress when I was 12 years old. I went from being his son to his offspring. I know my father loves me but I also know there's only so much a man can take when it comes to his children. He has expectations for them, and I had failed to meet his expectations for me.

Dave Holsteader had been my father's best friend and I had been my father's son. These were very solid relationships for my dad. Relationships like that aren't supposed to change. But in our case, they did change.

Dad and Dave remained friends in the sense that my father was cordial to him, but its hard to enjoy a round of golf with a man who is fucking your son in the ass.

Losing my relationship with my father was the price I paid for building a relationship with my mother. That was the only black mark in my period of bliss.

Speaking of relationships, this is a good time to mention my relationship with Cam and Gary.

Gary had accepted me as a woman and his mother from the get-go. I looked and acted the part, so he accepted it. He needed a mom. He missed Dana so much and needed her so much, that he was willing to accept any kind of a substitute. I didn't have to work hard to gain his love and affection, but I treasured it all the same.

Cam struggled with our new relationship. And to be painfully honest, I struggled with it too. As boys, we had started our relationship as best friends and peers. If anything, he was the leader and I was the follower.

I think it would have been difficult for Cam to cope with a real woman coming in and taking his mother's place. But you can imagine how hard it must have been for him to cope with the idea of his former best friend taking his mother's place. The transition was difficult and awkward for me, but it was exponentially more difficult for him.

I didn't make it easy for him, at least not at first. He resented me for taking his mother's place in his father's bed. He resented me for wearing his dead mother's clothes. I even started using Dana's cigarette case. What was hers became mine.

I took the shock and awe approach with Cam after marrying his father. If I hadn't, he would have walked all over me. He didn't respect me, but he feared me because his father backed me up on all the decisions I made. If I said he was grounded for a week, then he was grounded for a week. In some ways I think I was drunk on the power.

Our relationship began to change when he got sick from flu. I began to mother him and he was too sick to resist me. Our relationship improved even more after I began having sex with his father on a regular basis, because I was happier and more confident in myself.

Our power struggle became a thing of the past because I became an adult woman in his eyes. He knew his place and I knew mine and we accepted each other's position in the pecking order. It was good for both of us.

*****

I was very excited about Christmas that year. The important thing was that we all had a lot to be thankful for. We had had good health and genuine love. Of course it didn't hurt that Dave was making good money at his job. I've been poor and happy and I've been financially well off and happy. The latter is much better, especially during Christmas.

I loved wearing Dana's Christmas clothes. They were so colorful and downright tacky! I mean who doesn't love a bright red and green sweater with a reindeer on the chest? I especially loved the sweaters that had bells on them. I thought it was seasonal to hear myself jingle when I walked.

I became a regular Suzie Home Maker over the Christmas holidays. I was baking cookies and cakes in the holiday apron that Dana used to wear. Our house smelled so wonderful. I made sure Dave and the boys decorated the outside of our house with lights while I took care of the interior decorations.

I spent days at the mall shopping for Christmas presents. Sometimes I'd go with my mother and sometimes I'd go by myself. People smiled at me as I walked by and I smiled back. I felt like I belonged. I felt like I was doing everything right.

Christmas music played through out the house during the day while I did my chores. At night, after dinner, we'd sit in the living room watching DVDs like the "The Christmas Story" and "Home Alone".

Christmas had always been my favorite time of the year but I enjoyed it even more as a mother and a wife. I looked forward to seeing the looks on the faces of my family as they opened the presents I had bought them.

Cam and Gary were both off from school because of the holidays. Dave had also taken his vacation. We were all together and our home was filled with noisy fun. Of course of some of the noise wasn't fun. Cam and Gary would often fight and bicker the way Tony and I had done when I was a boy. They'd fight over the silliest things, like who lost the television remote control or cordless phone.

The boys' grandparents arrived three days before Christmas- both sets. There was Dave's parents, Jack and Arlene. And there was Dana's parents, Joe and Margie. The Grandparents didn't know the truth about me and Dave and I asked the boys to keep it that way.

I liked the grandparents. I especially liked Joe and Margie. They missed their daughter, but they welcomed me and accepted me. And in return, I welcomed and accepted them. They were told that I had been a friend of Dana's, and that was the truth. I talked a lot about her to Joe and Margie.

I had a habit of waking up early, especially when the Grandparents were in the house. I felt the need to make a good impression by having the coffee ready. Margie beat me to the coffee pot on the morning of Christmas Eve. I found her sitting at the kitchen table, with a mug and a cigarette, looking through a family photo album.

Margie and I said good morning to each other and asked how the other had slept while I poured a cup of coffee for myself and joined her at the table.

"Just looking at pictures of Dana," said Margie as she followed the statement with a sip of coffee.

"She was a beautiful woman," I said as I opened my cigarette case and removed a Winston.

Margie nodded in the direction of my leather cigarette case. "I see you're using her case."

"Ahh...yes," I said, hoping my taking it hadn't offended her. "I'm sorry if it bothers you. I can put it away."

"Of course not sweetie. I'm sure Dana wanted you to have it, even if she wished you wouldn't have taken up the habit."

"I suppose so."

Margie's comment about Dana preferring that I not take up smoking made me paranoid.

"Look at this picture," said Margie as she pushed the photo album toward me. "You've certainly changed a lot since this picture was taken."

I suddenly felt flushed. My heart beat harder and my breathing became more shallow. I took a puff from my cigarette and inhaled deeply, hoping it would steady my nerves. The photograph had been taken at the Holsteader's cabin several years earlier, before I had begun to transition into Michelle.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I wasn't there when that picture was taken."

Margie exhaled the smoke from her cigarette and smiled sadly. "Its okay Mike. Your secret is safe with me."

Safe? I didn't feel safe. Who was to say Margie wouldn't out me in front of the other grandparents? Maybe they already knew.

"Does anyone else know," I asked?

Margie shook her head no. "Dana asked me to keep it between the two of us. She told me about the promise you made her; the one about getting together with Dave after she passed."

"I'm so sorry. You must think I'm a terrible person."

"Of course not honey! I think you're a wonderful person and you make a fine looking woman to boot. I've seen the way Dave and the boys are when you're in the room. They adore you and they love you. I'm very thankful to you and so is Dana."

"I don't know what to say. I feel so..."

"Naked and vulnerable," asked Margie?

"Yes! Very much so. I don't feel good at all," I said as I got up from the table.

"Please come back and sit down Michelle. I didn't tell you I knew because I wanted to upset you. I told you because I wanted for us to be friends- better friends than we were before this came up."

I nervously pulled out the chair and sat back down at the table. "You really don't hate me," I asked?

"How could I hate someone who meant so much to my daughter? I love you Michelle. I only said it because I wanted you to feel more comfortable around me."

"Okay," I said as I took a pull from my cigarette and inhaled. "I could always use another friend."

"And so could I," said Margie as she put out her cigarette and picked up her mug of coffee. "I'm amazed at what you've done, and I say that in a good way. By keeping your promise to Dana, I realize how much you've sacrificed. You gave up your childhood to take care of Dave and my grandchildren."

"It wasn't as hard as you think. I love them."

"And it shows," said Margie as she lit another cigarette for herself. She paused to exhale and then said, "Would you mind if I asked you a personal question? You don't have to answer it if you think its too personal."

"What is it?"

"I was curious about you and Dave. Do the two of you have sex? I was under the impression that you're what I think they call pre-op."

I nodded without answering right away. "I am as they say- pre-op. And yes. Dave and I do make love."

Margie smiled as she breathed a sigh of relief. "I was hoping you'd say that. Not the part about your being pre-op, but that you and Dave are intimate. He's such a good man and he deserves as much happiness as he can get. I know Dana would have wanted the two of you to be together like that. Thank you for telling me."

*****

I'm glad I was honest with Margie, but it cast a shadow over the rest of my Christmas. I was sorry for Margie that she had lost Dana. But by talking with me, she had tarnished the joyous illusion of womanhood I had come to enjoy.

On the day after Christmas, I stood on the driveway with the rest of my family and watched as the grandparents drove away, honking their horns as they waved.

They're nice people, but I was glad to see them go.