The story of Mike versus Michelle concludes with this chapter. It takes place about a year and a half after the last chapter and picks up after Michelle's SRS. Mike versus Michelle: Part 20 Baltimore Blues:The Final Chapter By Sharon Parsons

I was three months shy of my 20th birthday the first time Dave and I made love with my new vagina. For him it was wonderful, or so he said. For me it was a milestone.

I had made the decision to have SRS with little or no debate. Of course I pretended to debate it, but my mind had been made up. I didn't take any shortcuts though when it came to the surgery. I had it done in Baltimore. Mom and Dave went with me. We did it while Cam was on break from college so that he could watch Gary.

Cam and Gary both knew why I was going to Baltimore and they supported my decision to do it. Gary was 12 when I had it done. He made sure I knew he loved me no matter what kind of surgery I got or didn't get. He was and is my son and I am his mother.

I had said all the right things and told everyone what they wanted to hear in the months leading up to the surgery. I could have backed out and people would have understood. They would have loved me anyway.

I did what I did because I wanted to do it. Of course I did get a lot of encouragement from my mother, but in the end, it was my decision. I don't blame anyone for my life, but I do give credit where credit is due. She was proud of me and I thrived on her pride.

Being Bipolar played a big part in how I felt about my life. My feelings about it would change on a monthly basis. Sometimes my emotions would cycle faster than that and I would experience mood swings on a weekly basis. It wasn't unusual for me to cycle on a daily basis either. Even though I was taking my medication regularly, I couldn't forecast my emotions with any degree of accuracy. That's how I got the nick name- Dr. Jeckyll and Mrs. Holsteader.

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Dr. Martha was wrong about SRS not being a cure. Losing my testicles cured me of all my sex addictions. The thrill I got from wearing pretty clothes and smoking like a woman went right out the door with the doctor who gave me a vagina.

SRS had freed me from the bonds of my sexual addiction! You'd think I'd be happy about it, but I wasn't. I felt as if I'd lost something as integral as my sense of smell or taste. Talk about anti-climatic and unrewarding.

SRS hadn't relieved me of my addiction to cigarettes. I was smoking more than ever and I was getting nothing in return for the damage I was inflicting on my body.

SRS didn't change my wardrobe. I was still wearing women's clothes, but the thrill I got from wearing them was moot.

SRS didn't make conventional intercourse pleasurable for me. It just gave Dave an extra place to put his penis.

I was disappointed in the end result of my SRS, but I didn't tell that to my mother or Dave. I put on my best happy face for them and saved my sad face for Dr. Martha.

Dr. Martha could have said, "I told you so," but she didn't. As a matter of fact, I think she was as surprised as I was over the loss of my sexual addictions.

She understood the ramifications of what had happened and she was sympathetic, but she couldn't give me the thrill back.

SRS was a death sentence for the boy named Mike who used to reside within me. I mourned his loss every time I saw Cam with his girlfriend. I was jealous of him, but oddly enough, I still loved him as my son.

SRS brought my mother and I closer to each other. She was so happy for me, because I'd finally gotten my wish to be just like her. I was just like her! Oh my God. I was just like my mother.

"Isn't it wonderful Michelle?"

"Yes Mom. It is," I said as I lit a cigarette.