Michelle tries to make Dana's last days as painless as possible. Dana asks Michelle to make her a promise. Can Michelle grant Dana's final request?   Mike versus Michelle: Part 14 The Promise By Sharon Parsons

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Dana Halsteader's illness was a source of excruciating pain for those who loved her. How do you say goodbye to people you love and care about? How can life go on when death gets in the way?

Dana's goodbye was long and thorough, and life never paused- not even for death.
 

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As far as my love life was concerned, I had several dates with men after my first date with Chip Gossett. One guy was a college student at Hartford community college. The other was a single father from Tony's soccer team. There wasn't much to say about my dates, but Dana would never let it go until I told her everything.

In some ways Dana was like a second mother to me. There were some things I could tell her that I just didn't feel comfortable telling my mom about. Mom was my biggest cheerleader, but Dana was more like a coach, or at least like a second therapist.

Mom didn't seem to comprehend my issues with men. She considered me to be a homosexual, since I had admitted to being attracted to men. She was always trying to set me up with gay men and couldn't understand why I wasn't willing to at least go out with them. But Dana seemed to get it.

Dana understood that I didn't want to date gay men and that I felt uncomfortable hiding my secret from straight men. I wanted to be upfront but I didn't want to lose my life over it either.

For the longest time, I thought Dana was trying to match me back up with Cam. It seemed so obvious to me. She'd tell me how Cam had matured and changed. But Dana wasn't trying to fix me up with her son. She was looking for a woman who would take care of her husband and children after she was gone.

I spent a lot of time at the Halsteader's house because Dana needed the help. I did everything I could to lighten her burden. My mother and I both agreed that Dana needed to spend her final months sharing time with her family rather than taking care of her house.

I did the laundry and most of the cooking, but I didn't feel like a maid. I felt like a part of their family because that's the way they treated me. Dave and Cam and Gary, all came to depend on me. I wasn't trying to take Dana's place and no one thought I was. I was just doing what I could to help because I genuinely loved the Halsteaders.

When I wasn't spending time with Dana, I was spending time with Dave and the boys. I practically lived at their house even though I never spent the night.

Sometimes Dana would want to spend time alone with Cam and Gary. On those nights, I'd either say goodnight to the family and go home, or sometimes Dave would take me out to dinner.

As a boy, I'd always been fond of Mr. Halsteader, but as a woman, I had a deeper appreciation for him. Divorce was very common in my neighborhood. People like my parents and the Halsteaders, who had been married for a long time stuck out to me.

I admired the way Dave loved Dana and stood by her. I thought it was sweet of him to quit smoking for her, even though she couldn't do it for him. He also had a great relationship with his kids. Most of the kids I knew hated their parents, but Cam and Gary loved the heck out of Dave. I guess thats why I enjoyed the summers at their cabin so much. My family got along good like that too, and when we got together for a week, it was twice as much fun.

About a month before Dana passed, Dave said that she wanted to see us both together. I knew by the look on his face and by the tone in his voice that something unpleasant was about to follow.

The first thing that went through my mind was that she was dying. I asked Dave if I should find Cam and Gary, but he said it was just the two of us Dana wanted to see.

I knew it was serious. I expected her to ask me for something and I thought I was prepared to give her anything she wanted. But I wasn't prepared. I didn't see it coming.

She held my hand and told me what a beautiful woman she thought I was. She thanked me for everything I had done and would continue to do for her family.

Dave shook his head and sobbed quietly while she talked to me.

"I want you to make a promise to me," she said.

I told her I'd do anything for her.

"I want you to take care of Dave and the boys when I'm gone."

"Of course," I said, not understanding the true significance of her request.

"I think the two of you are perfect for each other, and Gary adores you," she said. "And as far as Cam is concerned, he'll understand. He's a good boy and he loves his father, so he'll want Dave to be happy."

I was so confused by what she was saying. I wondered if the cancer had gotten into her brain because she wasn't making sense. I looked to Dave for some kind of interpretation, but he wouldn't look at me.

"He's a good man Michelle and he'll make a good husband for you. He was good to me and he'll be good to you too."

"What? Dana. You can't be serious?" I asked.

She told me that she'd never been more serious in her life and she wanted me to promise her that we'd at least date and try to make it work after she died.

I was overwhelmed. I understood what she was asking of me but it didn't make sense. Why would any woman ask another woman to take over her husband and family? And why me? She knew what I really was. Dave knew it too. And Cam! What about Cam? I used to be his friend. How could I be a stepmother to him?

I rubbed her hand with mine. What did she expect me to say?

"Please Michelle. Do this for me and my family."

"But Dana, I can't. Its not right."

"But it is right honey. I've given this a lot of thought. I've talked Dave about it and I talked to your mother too. Your mother is willing to give you her consent so that you won't have to wait until you're 18. There's no reason in the world why you shouldn't do this- legally or morally. Unless of course, you hate him."

"Hate him? I don't hate him. I love all of you. You're like my family. You all are. But what you're talking about is husband and wife stuff. It would never work and you know why."

The conversation became too much for Dave and he asked to be excused.

"I need a cigarette," said Dana as she sat up in her bed.

"Its not good for you," I said as I removed two cigarettes from my case and handed her one along with the lighter.

"Look who's talking," she said as she lit her cigarette and handed me back the lighter.

I lit my own cigarette and stowed the lighter back in the case. I inhaled a deep puff and steadied my nerves. "I can't be with Dave," I said. "Its just not right. And its not right for us to be even be talking about it."

Dana laughed. "What? Are you going to begrudge a dying woman her last request?"

I suggested she could get better.

"Well I'm not going to get better," she said sternly. "So can you blame me for looking out for my family? That's why I want you and Dave to be together after I'm gone. I know how strange this must sound to you, but I promise you that it looks a lot different from my perspective."

I told her I was sorry.

"Its not your fault honey, and I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I've had a good life and I wish there was more of it to live, but there isn't. That's why we're talking about this."

"It would never work," I said. "Even if I said yes, Dave wouldn't want me anyway, because I'm not a real woman!"

"Don't say stuff like that baby. Of course you're a real woman! And believe me, Dave thinks so too. I know he's attracted to you. I've seen the way he looks at you."

"But I never..."

"Of course you didn't! And neither did he. He loves me too much to cheat. I know that. And you're not the kind of woman that would do something like that either. You have morals and values. You're a good woman Michelle. That's why I need you to do this for me. I need for you to finish raising my sons. You know, start where I left off."

"But that doesn't make any sense! Cam and I are the same age. How can I raise him?"

"You'll raise him the same way I do- with love and discipline. Dave and I have already talked to him about this. We've talked to Gary too and I've also talked to your mother. Everyone is good with this."

"Except me. I'm not good with it," I said as I shook my head no.

"Are you mad because I didn't talk to you first?"

"That's part of it, but its everything else too!"

"I didn't ask you first because I wanted to clear it with your mother and my family before I asked you. We all think its a good idea."

"So since you think its a good idea, it doesn't matter what I want?"

"Of course it does honey. But I never would have asked if I thought it wasn't what you'd want. I know how much you want to be like your mother, and this is your chance to really do it. You can have it all if you marry Dave- a husband, a family, and a home."

"I do want that. But not this way. Dave and the boys are yours. I can't take that away from you. I couldn't live with myself."

"Don't you understand honey? You wouldn't be taking anything away from me. You'd be giving me peace of mind."

"But what would people say? They'd say awful things about me, like I stole your family away from you."

"What other people think isn't important to me and it shouldn't be important to you either."

"What about love? Two people shouldn't get married unless they're in love, should they?"

"If you and Dave don't get married to each other, then chances are the two of you won't get married to anyone. You'll both grow old alone. He likes you and you like him. You could learn to love each other. Its not as hard as you think."

"Aw geeze Dana," I said as I shook my head. "I don't think so."

"Why? He isn't cute enough for you?"

"That's not it," I said defensively.

"Well I know its not the age difference, because we've talked about that before. I know you're attracted to older men."

I blushed because what she said was true. I did like older men, but that was different. "We were never talking about Dave," I said.

"But things have changed and now we are. You do think he's cute, don't you?"

"That's not the point."

"But its a start," said Dana. I asked you a question. Do you think he's cute."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I want to ask him to marry me."

Dana grinned. "Silly girl. A woman never proposes marriage to a man. He's the one that's going to propose."

"Does he really want to marry me?"

"Yes and no. He's hoping for a miracle. He wants me to get better, but he knows its not going to happen. He loves me honey and he wants to make me happy. He knows that marrying you will make me happy. So the answer is really yes. He wants to marry you. He wants to be your husband Michelle."

My head spun as I struggled to comprehend the reality of Dana's request. I felt like I was either going to throw up or pass out. Marrying Dave and being a step mother to Cam and Gary was both a fantasy and a nightmare. How could she ask me to do this for her? I was only 17 and I was a boy! A boy with breasts. A boy who always wanted to be a woman like his mother.

"Is it okay if I think about this," I asked?

"That's all I wanted to hear you say. Talk to your parents and talk to your therapist. And we'll see how it goes from there."

"Okay Dana. I'll think about it," I said as I leaned in for a hug. "But don't go any where any time soon, okay?"
 

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The first thing I did when I got back home was to talk to my mother. Dana had been truthful with me. She had discussed it with my mom and my mom had agreed with her that it was a good idea. I was stunned.

My father, on the other hand, wasn't particularly keen on the idea of me marrying his best friend. Dad loved me and supported what I was doing, but he was understandably squeamish whenever the subject of homosexuality or same-sex marriage came up. He didn't want to think about Dave and I doing the kinds of things that husbands and wives do with each other in bed.

And how did my therapist weigh in on the matter? Dr. Martha approved. She said a marriage to Dave would validate my urges to live as a woman.

Within a couple days, I'd talked to everyone that mattered except for Dave, Cam, and Gary. How could I talk about something like this when Dana was still alive? As it turned out, I didn't have to approach them because Dana did it for me.

Dana had talked to my mom so she knew I'd discussed it with her and she knew that Dr. Martha approved. I hadn't said yes to Dana, but she took it upon herself to put me on the spot in front of her family.

I was having dinner at her house when she brought up the subject of me marrying Dave after she died. The room suddenly got quiet and I wanted to hide under the table.

Dana asked me if I had talked to my mother and my therapist about it. I couldn't lie, so I told her I had.

"And what did they say," asked Dana? "Did they think it was a good idea?"

Dana Halsteader was a house wife, but I swear to God that she missed her calling as a trial lawyer. I felt that I had no choice other than to answer her question honestly.

I was in a state of shock as I watched Dana remove the diamond solitaire from her left finger and hand it to Dave. She asked him to propose to me. She said she wanted everyone to see him place the ring on my finger.

Neither Cam nor Gary protested as their father got up from his chair and walked around the table and knelt down in front of me. The look on Dave's face was pained as he took my hand and said those words I never thought I'd hear.

"Michelle. Will you marry me and be my wife?"

I looked at Dana who was nodding her head yes. I looked at Cam and Gary. Neither of them said anything, but Cam gave me a nod.

Oh my God! What am I doing, I thought as I looked down at Dave who was still on one knee.

"Yes Dave. I'll marry you and be your wife."

Everyone sighed at once as Dave placed the diamond ring on my left finger.

Dana Halsteader had won. So did that make me the loser? I didn't know. I didn't feel like a winner, but I wasn't sad. I wasn't happy either. I just felt sick to my stomach and I remember being very scared.

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To Be Continued...