Stuck in the Middle -22

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Chapter Twenty-Two

The weekend arrived with skies as clear as a polished mirror, the sun casting its golden light over the world below. The air was crisp with the unmistakable scent of fall—a mix of dry leaves, damp earth, and the faint smokiness of distant bonfires. It was the kind of morning that begged for jackets left half-zipped and hands cupped around steaming mugs of cocoa.

After breakfast, the usual clatter of plates and laughter at the table began to quiet, settling into the gentle hum of Saturday. Mrs. Blake was the first to break the silence, her voice light yet purposeful. "How about a trip to the park today? We could use some fresh air," she suggested, pausing to look around the table with an encouraging smile. "What do you all think?"

"Yes!" Lily shouted, her brown eyes lighting up like sparklers. She bounced in her seat, her braids swinging wildly as though mirroring her excitement. "Can we fly the kite? Please, please, please?" Her words spilled out so quickly it was hard to tell where one sentence ended and the next began.

Sam didn't bother answering—he was already halfway out of his chair, his mind racing ahead to the soccer ball that had been waiting impatiently in the corner of the garage. "I'm bringing the ball!" he announced as his footsteps thundered down the hallway.

Mrs. Blake chuckled softly, her smile as steady as ever, though the faint lines around her eyes hinted at a week that had likely stretched her patience. She turned to me, her tone gentler now, as though she could sense the weight I'd been carrying. "What about you, Emily? Does the park sound good?"

I nodded, the words caught somewhere in my throat. After the heaviness of the week, the thought of open skies and the whisper of wind through the trees felt like a small, much-needed reprieve. I imagined the sound of leaves crunching underfoot, the laughter of Lily and Sam echoing through the crisp air, and for a moment, I let myself picture a pocket of peace, however fleeting.

As we prepared for the outing, the house buzzed with energy. Lily darted back and forth between the living room and her bedroom, clutching the brightly colored kite that had seen better days but still danced like magic in the wind. Sam reappeared with his soccer ball tucked under one arm and a proud grin stretched across his face. "Ready!" he declared, as though he'd just won some unseen competition.

Mrs. Blake moved efficiently through the house, packing a small bag with the essentials: water bottles, a few granola bars, and the slightly wrinkled picnic blanket she always kept on hand for days like this. She glanced toward me as she folded the blanket neatly. "Why don't you grab a sweater, Emily? It might get chilly later," she said, her tone more motherly than usual.

I did as I was told.

The drive to the park was short, but the silence inside the car was filled with unspoken anticipation. Sam tapped his fingers against the window, humming a tune I didn't recognize, while Lily sat cross-legged, clutching her kite as though it were a treasure she couldn't bear to lose. Mrs. Blake's eyes flicked between the road and the rearview mirror, her quiet watchfulness reassuring in its own way.

When we arrived, the park was alive with the hum of activity, a tapestry of sounds and colors weaving through the crisp autumn air. Families gathered on checkered blankets beneath the sprawling shade of oak and maple trees, their laughter mingling with the rustle of leaves overhead. Children raced across the playground, their sneakers kicking up small clouds of dust, while a dog chased a stick with uncontainable joy, its bark ringing out like a cheerful bell.

Sam darted ahead as soon as we entered the park gates, their excitement like an electric current. Lily and I darted across the grassy field at the park, our laughter carried on the breeze. Mrs. Blake trailed behind, holding a picnic basket in one hand and a straw hat in the other, trying to keep up with our energy.

Lily stopped and turned, squinting up at the sky. "This is a perfect kite-flyin' day," she declared, spreading her arms wide like she was about to take off herself.

I plopped down on the grass and pulled a string from my pocket which was attached to a makeshift kite. It wasn't much—just a tangle of sticks and old cloth from the clothes I wore when I first got to the house —but it'd do. "Think this'll fly?" I asked, holding it up.

Mrs. Blake raised an eyebrow. "Fly? Honey, with the right wind, it'll soar like a hawk. In fact—" She cleared her throat and suddenly adopted a sing-song tone. "Let's go fly a kite!"

I groaned, I knew what was coming next. "Oh, no. Here we go..."

"Up to the highest height!" Mrs. Blake continued, waving her hand dramatically toward the sky.

Lily clapped her hands and joined in without hesitation. "Let's go fly a kite and send it soaring!"

I looked between the two, my face caught somewhere between amusement and embarrassment. "Y'all know we're in public, right? People are lookin'."

But Mrs. Blake and Lily were on a roll, spinning in circles with their arms stretched out as if they were kites themselves. "Up through the atmosphere!" they sang in unison, their voices carrying across the park.

"Up where the air is clear!" Lily added with a flourish.

I couldn't help myself, and bursted out laughing. "Y'all sound like a couple of hens tryin' to sing opera."

"Oh, let's go fly a kite!" they finished triumphantly, collapsing into giggles on the grass.

I shook my head and smirked. "You two are somethin' else, you know that?"

Mrs. Blake leaned back on her elbows, grinning. "Well, darlin', if you're gonna fly a kite, you might as well make a scene doin' it."

Lily nodded sagely. "And we sure did. Now, let's see if that mess of sticks and sheet can actually get off the ground."

I held up my creation, still chuckling. "Alright, but if it gets stuck in a tree, don't say I didn't warn ya."

I watched as Lily started running. Mrs. Blake started setting up the picnic near an oak tree.

"Emily, help me! It won't go up!" she called, tugging at the kite string in frustration. The kite flapped stubbornly against the breeze, refusing to leave the ground.

I hesitated for a heartbeat, then stepped forward, the crunch of leaves underfoot marking each step. "Here," I said, taking the string from her small hands. The fabric of the kite felt light and delicate against my fingertips. "Run that way while I hold it up. You've got to let the wind do the work."

Lily's face lit up, her frustration melting into determination. "Okay!" she said with a quick nod before taking off. Her feet pounded against the grass, and her hair streamed behind her in golden waves as the kite wobbled and sputtered before suddenly catching the breeze.

It was a magical moment. The kite soared higher and higher, its tail twisting like a ribbon in the wind. "It's flying! Look, it's flying!" Lily's laughter bubbled over, loud and carefree, a sound so pure it tugged at my chest.

Sam wasn't far behind, joining the impromptu celebration by running circles around Lily with his soccer ball. He laughed as he dribbled the ball with exaggerated moves, pretending to stumble just to make her giggle. Their joy was infectious, spilling out into the cool air, and I felt a smile creep onto my face despite the lingering heaviness in my heart. For the first time in what felt like ages, the weight there seemed just a little lighter.

Mrs. Blake watched us from a distance, her expression soft and full of quiet pride. I couldn't help but notice the way the sunlight caught her hair, adding a faint golden glow that seemed to reflect her inner warmth. "This," she said quietly, almost to herself, "this is what makes everything worthwhile."

And for a fleeting moment, as the laughter echoed around me and the kite danced against the endless blue sky, I let myself believe her.


~o~O~o~

Later, as the sun climbed higher, we found a spot under the old oak tree, its sprawling branches offering a sanctuary of shade. The ground was carpeted with dry leaves and scattered acorns, and a gentle breeze rustled through the canopy, making the leaves whisper their secrets. Lily plopped down beside me, her cheeks flushed from running, and eagerly poured out a handful of acorns onto the picnic blanket. "Look at these!" she exclaimed, holding up the biggest one like a trophy. "This one's perfect, isn't it?"

I nodded, smiling faintly. It was hard not to be charmed by her enthusiasm. She started sorting the acorns into piles—biggest to smallest—her focus intense, as if the world depended on her perfect arrangement.

Nearby, Sam was lost in his own world, kicking the soccer ball against the sturdy trunk of the oak tree. Each thud echoed in the quiet space around us. He'd challenge himself with little games, muttering under his breath. "Three hits in a row without missing... almost... yes!" When he finally succeeded, his triumphant shout made Lily giggle.

Mrs. Blake, ever the steady presence, handed out sandwiches wrapped in wax paper and small juice boxes from the picnic bag. She moved with a calm efficiency, her every gesture filled with quiet care. Even in this simple moment, there was something grounding about her, like she could anchor us no matter how turbulent life might feel.

As I unwrapped my sandwich, my gaze drifted to a group of kids playing tag in the open field not far from us. Their laughter rang out like wind chimes, carried on the breeze. One boy stood out to me—not because he was the loudest or the fastest, but because he looked over and waved. He had dark, curly hair and a wide grin that seemed permanently etched onto his face.

I froze for a moment, unsure whether he was waving at me or someone else. But then he jogged over, his sneakers kicking up small puffs of dust. "Hey! You're Emily, right?" he asked, his tone bright and friendly.

I blinked, caught off guard. "Yeah," I said softly, my voice almost getting lost in the rustling of the leaves above us.

"You're in my math class, aren't you?" he continued, his grin widening. "We're playing tag. Want to join us?"

The invitation hung in the air, and I felt a flicker of both excitement and apprehension. I glanced over at Mrs. Blake, hoping for some kind of guidance. She caught my eye and offered me an encouraging nod, her expression warm and reassuring. "Go ahead," she said, her tone gentle. "We'll be right here."

Taking a deep breath, I set my sandwich down and rose to my feet. "Okay," I said, surprising myself as much as him. He grinned again, motioning for me to follow, and together we jogged back toward the group.

The game was already in full swing, a blur of laughter, quick movements, and playful shouts. At first, I hung back, unsure of where to fit in, but the boy—whose name I learned was Tyler—quickly looped me into the chaos. "You're it!" someone shouted, tapping my shoulder before darting away with a mischievous grin.

I hesitated for a split second, then took off after them, my legs pumping harder than they had in weeks. The cool air rushed past me, filling my lungs with something that felt like freedom. My laughter mixed with the others', loud and carefree, and for a little while, the heaviness that usually weighed on me disappeared entirely.

When the game finally ended, and I made my way back to the oak tree, my chest was heaving, my cheeks flushed, and my hair sticking to my forehead. Mrs. Blake looked up from where she was folding the now-empty picnic bag, her smile warm and full of quiet pride. She handed me a bottle of water. "How was it?" she asked.

I twisted off the cap and took a long drink before answering. "Fun," I admitted, the word feeling almost foreign on my tongue. But as I said it, a shy smile tugged at my lips, surprising even me.

"I'm glad," she said softly, her voice wrapping around me like a hug.

As the afternoon wore on, the sun began its slow descent, painting the sky with streaks of pink and gold. We packed up our things, shaking leaves from the blanket and gathering Lily's acorn collection into her tiny hands. Sam carried the soccer ball like it was a trophy he'd won, boasting to anyone who would listen about his latest "moves."

"I kicked it like this," he said, demonstrating in slow motion as we walked back to the car. Lily chimed in with her own stories about the kite, her voice bubbling over with excitement. "It went so high! I bet it almost touched the clouds!"

I listened to their chatter, my steps lighter than they'd been in days. The park had been just a small escape, a fleeting moment of normalcy, but it had reminded me of something I hadn't felt in a long time—hope. Even after everything, there were still good moments to be had.


~o~O~o~

That evening, after everyone had gone to bed, I found myself sitting on the couch, staring at the darkened TV screen. The faint reflection of my face stared back at me, pale and ghostly in the dim light filtering through the curtains. The house was quiet, the kind of quiet that feels almost too loud when you're lost in your thoughts. The only sounds were the occasional creak of the floorboards and the faint hum of the refrigerator, an ever-present reminder of life continuing, even in stillness. My chest felt heavy, like there was a knot tightening with every passing moment, making it hard to breathe.

Mrs. Blake walked into the room, carrying a mug of tea that steamed gently in the cool air. She wore a soft, worn cardigan over her pajamas, her hair slightly tousled from the long day. She paused when she saw me, her eyes immediately softening with concern. Without a word, she crossed the room and sat down beside me on the couch, the cushion dipping slightly under her weight. Her presence was steady and grounding, like a lighthouse in a storm.

"Couldn't sleep?" she asked gently, her voice low and soothing, as though she didn't want to disturb the fragile silence of the night.

I shook my head, my gaze dropping to the floor. "No. Just... thinking."

Mrs. Blake didn't press for more. She simply sipped her tea, her calm patience wrapping around me like a warm blanket. That was the thing about her—she never pushed, never demanded answers or tried to fill the silence with empty words. She just sat with me, letting the quiet stretch, creating a space where it felt safe to speak.

The knot in my chest loosened slightly, just enough for me to find my voice. "Can I tell you something?" I asked, my words barely above a whisper.

She set her mug down on the coffee table, turning her full attention to me. "Of course, Emily," she said, her tone as warm and steady as her gaze.

I hesitated, my hands twisting in my lap. The words were right there, just waiting to be spoken, but they felt so big, so heavy. "It's something I've been trying to figure out for a long time," I began, my voice trembling. "Something about me."

She nodded, her expression calm and open, encouraging me to continue. "Take your time," she said softly.

I took a deep breath, my heart pounding like a drum in my chest. "Ever since I was about nine, I've always known I wasn't... myself. Back in Folkston, Georgia, people used to say I acted like a tomboy, but it never felt like that explained everything. And some of my friends told me they thought I might be gender fluid." I paused, my voice faltering as I tried to gauge her reaction, but her calm, steady gaze gave me the courage to keep going. "It makes sense to me, because some days, I feel more like a girl, and other days, a boy and sometimes, I don't feel like anything at all."

The knot in my chest loosened slightly as I spoke, but my heart still raced. I looked at Mrs. Blake, expecting confusion or maybe even judgment. But her face softened with understanding, her expression full of quiet compassion.

"Thank you for telling me," she said gently. "That's a big thing to share, and I'm honored that you trusted me with it."

Tears welled up in my eyes, spilling over before I could stop them. "I was scared you wouldn't understand. Or that you'd think it was weird," I admitted, my voice breaking.

Mrs. Blake reached over, taking my hand in hers, her grip firm but gentle. "Emily, there's nothing weird about being true to yourself," she said, her eyes meeting mine with unwavering kindness. "You're figuring out who you are, and that's a journey only you can take. But you're not alone. I'm here, and I'll support you every step of the way."

Her words wrapped around me like a shield, protecting me from the doubts and fears that had been eating away at me for so long. I let out a shaky breath, my shoulders relaxing for the first time in what felt like forever. "Thank you," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion.

"Can I ask how you've been feeling about it?" she asked, her tone careful, as if she didn't want to push too hard. "What's been the hardest part?"

I shrugged, struggling to find the words. "It's hard because I don't always know how to explain it to people. And I'm scared they'll think I'm making it up or just being difficult. It's not like I chose to feel this way."

Mrs. Blake nodded, her expression thoughtful. "That makes sense," she said. "It's not always easy to explain things that feel so personal. But you don't owe anyone an explanation unless you want to give one. And the people who care about you will listen and try to understand."

I wiped at my eyes, a small smile tugging at my lips. "You make it sound so simple."

"It's not always simple," she admitted, a faint smile of her own appearing. "But it's worth it to be honest with yourself and the people who love you. If there's anything you need—anything at all—you just let me know, okay?"

"Okay," I said softly.

She gave my hand a gentle squeeze, her touch grounding me. "And if you want, we can look into ways to help you express yourself. Clothes, hairstyles, whatever makes you feel most like you."

The thought filled me with a quiet sense of hope. "That sounds... nice. Really nice."

Mrs. Blake smiled, her warmth unwavering. "Then we'll do it. Together."

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Comments

Telling Mrs. Blake about herself……

D. Eden's picture

Is a huge step - and the fact that she has been lucky enough to be placed with a wonderful, caring woman - a good family - is beyond fortunate. Most of us aren’t that lucky when we come out to family and friends. Many are the tragedies which occur, the abuse, and the ruined lives.

Knowing what Emily has already been through, she deserves some good karma. Perhaps her life is really turning around.

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus