"Miss Thomas?" I hear a voice call as my brain struggles against the darkness in which it's found itself. "Miss Thomas? Can you hear me?"

"Nikki?" Another voice- a familiar voice- asks.

"Mmph," I groan as sensation begins to return to my body, bringing with it a feeling of tiredness in my joints, fatigue in my muscles... And pain. Lots and lots of pain, centred mainly on my groin...

"Nikki?" Another voice asks, making my heart beat faster as I instantly identify the owner of the voice.

"Sarah?" I croak.

"Wake up, Nikki," Sarah whispers, her voice full of emotion as she squeezes my hand- my other hand stinging from the IV drip that's been pushed into it.

"Sarah?" I whisper again, opening my eyes to be greeted by the emotional- but still beautiful-face of my fiancée.

"It's me," Sarah replies. "Your mother's here as well."

"Mum?" I whisper.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," mum- the owner of the second voice I heard- whispers, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Where- where..." I moan as the pain grows more and more unbearable.

"Shh, shh," Sarah whispers, gently stroking my hair as a nurse fiddles with the machine my IV is hooked up to. "You're in the hospital, Nikki. Do you remember why?"

"The- the operation?" I ask, my mind fogging over yet again as painkillers flow through my veins.

"A complete success," mum says with a proud smile.

"You are now the proud owner of a brand-new vagina," Sarah says, making my heart beat faster as I contemplate the impact of her words.

"Wow..." I mouth, making Sarah giggle and kiss me on my cheek.

"Though you're still welcome to play with mine whenever you want!" Sarah whispers in my ear, before giving me another kiss. I try to relax in the bed- not easy when I'm in a lot of pain and my legs are in stirrups- as the enormity of the situation finally dawns on me.

I, the person born nineteen and a bit years ago as Nicholas Christopher Thomas, am now a fully anatomical woman. Well, not FULLY- I don't have any ovaries and I don't have a uterus, but I do have a labia, a clitoris, a vaginal canal... I AM now as female as it is physically possible for me to get.

From as early as I can remember, I've always dreamed about what it was like to be a girl. I'd fantasise about wearing a skirt to school, about hanging out with girls, gossiping, dancing, experimenting with hair, fashion and make-up... But it always seemed like a fantasy that could never come true.

Then, almost five years ago, I met Sarah- the woman who would change my life forever, and for the better. Suddenly, hair, fashion and make-up became a regular part of my life as I'd spend weekend after weekend dressed as 'Nikki', but I'd always dream about what it'd be like to never have to stop being 'Nikki'. And then, three years ago, I never did stop being Nikki, even after Sarah and I had entered into a sexual relationship.

My whole life for the past five years has felt like a long string of dreams coming true. Becoming a ballerina, becoming a model, a minor internet celebrity in my own right, gaining the female friends I longed for for so long, getting engaged... Living life, and loving life as a woman. And as of now, that journey is complete. My penis- the one thing anchoring me to my old life as a man- has been removed to make way for the genitals I SHOULD have. I have been metaphorically and literally cut free.

However, I know deep down that whilst this may seem like the end of a long journey, in truth, it's just the beginning of an even longer one.

After a few days in the hospital- it's hard to keep exact time with the pain medication I'm on- I'm taken to a recovery room, where I'm introduced to some of the hard work inherent with being a woman- especially a transsexual woman.

"Okay, nice and gentle," the nurse says as I take the heavily-lubricated plastic rod and gently ease it toward my still-sensitive area.

"Okay," I say, taking several deep breaths. "I can do this, this isn't a problem..." My hands shake, and have to be steadied by the nurse, as I gradually glide the rod toward my vaginal opening, and the second it touches the sensitive flesh, the shock is so great that I gasp and drop the rod onto the towel that's been laid out beneath me.

"Oh god," I gasp. "Oh god, oh god..."

"It's okay," the nurse says softly, retrieving the stent, cleaning it and re-lubricating it. "Take it nice and easy, one step at a time."

"Okay," I whisper. Once again, I gasp as the stent touches the entrance to my vagina, though this time, I hold it steady, and blink back tears as I slide it into myself, trying not to panic as the utterly alien feeling of the long, stiff intruder inside me. And it is truly INSIDE me... Even know it's only gone in a few inches, it feels almost like it's up inside my chest cavity. And I'm going to have to do this multiple times per day for the next six months, with stents a LOT bigger than the one I'm using now...

"I'm sorry," I say, flapping my hands as I try to calm myself down.

"It's okay, it's okay," the nurse coos. "If you need to cry, it's okay, just let it out..." Not needing to be told twice, I silently weep as the intruder remains inside me, only breathing a sigh of relief as it's gently excised minutes later.

"Would you like me to bring in your fiancée?" The nurse asks.

"Please," I say, hastily covering myself up and smiling as Sarah enters the room.

"Oh- god, Nikki," Sarah sighs. "Have you been crying?"

"...Maybe a little," I sigh. "Just dilated for the first time... God, it just feels WRONG."

"Having something long and firm pushed into your vagina?" Sarah asks with a twinkle in her eye. "Can't imagine what that must be like..."

"Oh- whatever," I sigh as Sarah giggles excitedly.

"Sooo..." Sarah teases. "When do I get to see it?"

"You've got the rest of your life to see it," I say, sticking my tongue out at my giggling fiancée. "And you're definitely not seeing it when it's all bloody and yucky..."

"You're telling me I don't know what it's like to have genitals that are bloody and yucky?" Sarah asks, before giggling again. "It's okay, I don't need to see it now. I plan on spending our wedding night BURIED in it, hehe!" I giggle as Sarah squeezes my hand supportively, though inside, I feel uneasy.

Sarah and I lost our virginity to each other a few days after our sixteenth birthday. At the time, I wasn't taking hormones, meaning that our intercourse was of the 'regular' heterosexual variety, with me as the man and Sarah as the woman... And I could tell that Sarah enjoyed it a lot. A short while later, I started taking oestrogen, diminishing both my sex drive and my ability to 'perform' as a man would... And I could tell that Sarah was disappointed by the change.

Of course, we adapted to the change, and grew adventurous with our sex life, including using 'external aids' to enhance our lovemaking, but deep down, I could tell that Sarah wished that she could just have regular sex with me again- and now, with my penis gone for good, the chances of that happening are precisely zero. Of course, I don't doubt that Sarah still loves me- but I can't help but feel that she's not as 'in love' with me as she was before my operation.

Over the next few days, I gradually get used to the sensation of dilating, though it takes me a while to not shed any tears whilst I dilate. Sarah finished her university studies for the year on the Friday after my operation, meaning that she spends virtually every waking moment at my bedside, but I still don't feel comfortable dilating around her- or even letting her see my new vagina. She stays at my bedside as my blood drain is removed- one of the single most painful experiences of my life, and one I'm not ashamed to admit left me in tears for several minutes afterwards- and as my catheter is removed, though she does agree to leave the room as I pee through my new equipment for the very first time- a sensation that makes my eyes go wide, especially at the knowledge that I'll be doing this several times a day for the rest of my life.

Finally, on Friday July 1st, I remove the short blue robe that has been my only 'clothing' for the past ten days, and gingerly slide my softest pair of cotton panties up my legs, taking several deep breaths to calm myself as the gusset gently clings to my new 'area'. After slipping on my softest bra, I pull a loose cotton sundress over my head, straightening it before slowly standing up and slipping my feet into a pair of flat, open-toed sandals.

"Miss Thomas?" My nurse asks, pushing a wheelchair into the room. "Would you like me to take you to the entrance?"

"I- I'd like to try walking, please," I say as Sarah takes my hand. After three ginger steps, however, it becomes very clear that there's no way I'll be able to walk all the way to the hospital entrance.

"It's okay, it's okay," the nurse whispers. "Just ease yourself down into the chair..." I blink back a couple of tears as I slowly sit down in the wheelchair.

"Godddd..." I moan. "This is so embarrassing..."

"What's so embarrassing?" Sarah chastises me. "You've just had a big operation, obviously you're going to be weaker than normal."

"I feel like a baby," I say. "Like I can't even walk properly..."

"Your fiancée’s telling the truth," the nurse says as she pushes me toward the hospital entrance. "You can't expect to be doing pirouettes overnight. Give it time, and stick to the exercise schedule your doctors gave you, and you WILL recover."

"I know," I sigh, forcing a smile on my face as I see my father waiting for me, grinning widely as he holds the rear door of his taxi open.

"Taxi for two gorgeous young women?" dad asks, making Sarah and I giggle.

"Thanks, dad," I laugh as Sarah helps me into the car. “Please tell me we’re not going over any speed bumps on the way home?”

“It will so smooth, you’ll feel like you’re on a magic carpet,” dad reassures me, but I still feel every tiny bump en route to our house, where I shed yet more tears at the sight that awaits me.

Draped on the outside of the house is a large pink banner that reads ‘welcome home’, and underneath the banner are all my friends- literally ALL of them. Katie, Lauren, Jacinta and Ophelia are all here, as are all six of the Angels, along with (where applicable) their husbands, boyfriends and children. Becca and Adeola from out of Heaven are also here, as are Zoe (Krystie’s business partner) and her partner Natalie. At the very front of the crowd, though, with a wide grin on their faces, are my mother and my baby sister, both of whom greet me with gentle hugs as I step out of dad’s car.

“Hi mum!” I sob, wiping away tears of happiness before turning my attention to my giggling infant sister. “Hey there, cutie! Did you miss your big sis?” Jenny’s excited laugh tells me that that she did indeed miss me as much as I missed her.

“Sure, we ALL missed our sister the last week and a half!” Mary- one of the Angels- laughs as she slowly walks toward me, clutching her own tiny daughter. “Think this little one and your sister are already BFFs, heh!”

“Good,” I giggle as Jenny and Mary’s daughter playfully laugh at each other.

“D’you need a hand with your bags?” Mary asks, making me chuckle.

“Really?” I ask the six and a half month pregnant woman. “In your condition?”

“I wasn’t offering to do it myself,” Mary laughs. “Dan! Get over here!” I giggle as Mary’s husband- accompanied by two of the other ‘husbands and boyfriends’- arrives to take my luggage into the house as I share hugs with all of my other friends. As Mary walks away, though, I can’t help but notice that despite her condition, she’s still walking more easily then me…

“Speech!” One of the men in the crowd yells as I approach my front door, making me groan and laugh.

“They did come all this way just to see you…” Sarah whispers in my ear, barely suppressing a giggle.

“Oh- okay,” I laugh, turning to face my friends. “Thank you all for coming, it really does mean a lot to me to know that I have such awesome friends! Obviously, I’m going to be off my feet for a while- a LONG while- but rest assured I’ll be back at work soon.”

“So I’m expected to get my own coffee for the next few weeks?” Hannah pouts- or rather, attempts to pout, as her eyes give away the fact that she’s having a REALLY hard time keeping a straight face…

“Yes,” I say, making Hannah lose her composure. “Yes you are expected to get your own coffee!”

“Hardly the greatest hardship in the world,” Jamie laughs as she approaches me and gives me a long hug. “Wish I could stick around and help you get settled in, but work calls…”

“It’s okay, I got this,” Sarah giggles.

“I’ll be back before you miss me,” I say to the assembled crowd. “Don’t party too hard without me!”

“No promises!” Katie yells, making the crowd laugh as they slowly disperse. I head into the house, accompanied by my parents, my sister and my fiancée, where I sigh and shed yet more tears- the living room is just as decorated as the outside of the house, and on my usual spot on the sofa is a huge pile of gift, each of which has been wrapped in bright pink wrapping paper. In the middle of the living room floor, which is normally occupied by Jenny’s many toys, is an inflatable mattress, onto which I slowly lower myself- or rather, it’s Sarah and dad doing the lowering, as my arms and legs are still barely able to support any of my weight.

“Come on, get opening!” Sarah giggles as she lays down next to me on the airbed and hands me a present.

“I didn’t get this many presents for my birthday,” I laugh as I open the gifts- most of which are clothes and make-up, a few of which (given by Katie and Lauren) are gag gifts like feminine hygiene products. By the time I’ve opened my last present, I’m that exhausted that I’m forced to lay down on the mattress to try to get my breath back- an action that Sarah takes as an invitation to lay down next to me.

“Of course,” Sarah says with a smile, “the greatest gift is the one the doctors gave you…”

“Yeah, this is definitely true,” I giggle as I try to get comfortable. “Wish it didn’t still ache so much, though…”

“Give it a few weeks and it’ll be fine,” Sarah says. “And you know this for an absolute fact. How many times have you read Jamie’s post-operation blog?”

“Several hundred times,” I sigh. “There’s a big difference between reading about it and experiencing it, though. Much bigger than I was expecting…”

“If anyone can get through this, you can,” Sarah whispers, gently kissing me on my forehead. “This is what you’ve always dreamed of, don’t forget that.”

“I know,” I say. “Sarah… When we first, you know…”

“’Had sex’?” Sarah asks. “Why so coy? Your parents are in the kitchen, so’s Jenny…”

“I know,” I sigh. “It’s just- gah, I dunno…”

“Ask your question,” Sarah whispers, kissing me on the forehead again.

“When we did it for the first time,” I whisper. “Did- did it- did it hurt you?” I grimace as the smile fades from Sarah’s face, replaced by a look of contemplation. Is she remembering back to when we first made love? Worse yet, is she missing it?

“A little,” Sarah whispers. “But only a little, and only at first.”

“I- I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“Sorry for having sex with me when I basically demanded it time after time?” Sarah asks, making me giggle. “Nikki, you have nothing to apologise to me for, least of all that!”

“No, but I have everything to be thankful to you for,” I whisper, returning the kisses Sarah gave me earlier. “None of this- literally none- would have happened without you.”

“Well then,” Sarah says with a wicked grin. “I think I’m due a reward, right?”

“They didn’t operate on my tongue,” I coo, making Sarah giggle devilishly.

“I was thinking more of ‘looking’, rather than ‘touching’…”

“Ehh…” I grimace. “It- it’s still not pretty down there, there’s still quite a bit of bruising, even on my thighs…”

“S’okay,” Sarah shrugs, trying (and failing) to hide her disappointment. “I can wait a little longer…”

“And on that note…” I say quietly, pulling one of my stents out of my hospital bag. “I kinda… There’s a reason my family’s all in the kitchen, heh.”

“…Okay,” Sarah whispers, this time not even bothering to hide her disappointment as she stands up, straightens her dress and joins my family in my kitchen. I sigh as I cover the stent with a generous dollop of lubricating jelly, which causes me to gasp as it touches the entrance of my new opening. I have to blink back tears as I push the stent deeper inside me, before breathing a sigh of relief as it reaches the black dot that has been marked on its side.

After removing the stent, I head into our house’s downstairs toilet (desperately trying to hide the stent from my family, especially Jenny, as I limp through the kitchen) where I sterilise the stent and wash my hands. Whilst in the toilet, I take the opportunity to make use of the facilities.

Still slightly panicky, I take a deep breath as I slowly lower myself onto the toilet seat, musing that I haven't stood up to pee in many years- since even before I started transitioning, in fact. As always, the feeling of the urine passing my new opening causes me to shiver, as does the sensation of wiping myself clean, taking care not to aggravate any of my stitches before rearranging my panties and heading back through the kitchen, trying to ignore the concerned stares of my family.

I spend most of the afternoon and the evening on my airbed. Fortunately, with it being July, it stays nice and warm throughout the evening, meaning I don’t need to cover any part of my body- especially my bare legs- with any additional layers. By the time 8pm rolls around, however, I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.

“Worn out already?” Dad teases as I stifle a yawn. “I’m not surprised, you’ve gone through a lot lately. Though any other week you’d be upstairs spending the next two hours getting ready to hit the town, heh!”

“Oh- really?” I ask, confused. “Is it really Friday today?”

“You lost THAT much track of time in hospital?” Mum asks.

“Well, no- well, yeah, I guess,” I sigh, before looking up at Sarah. “You- you gonna be heading out tonight?”

“What, seriously?” Sarah laughs. “I only just get you back after ten days in hospital, you think I’m just going to abandon you now to go out on the lash?”

“Umm… It’s not like I’m good for doing anything right now?” I retort. “I’m half-asleep at 8pm, I can’t be any fun to be around…”

“I don’t care,” Sarah says. “I. Do. Not. Care. I love you, and I am staying with you for as long it takes you to get better. I’m not going out again unless it’s with you.”

“...Thanks,” I mumble, though deep down, I can’t help but feel guilty that I’m keeping Sarah in tonight when I know she’d rather be out having fun.

My feeling of guilt only grows as I head to bed a short while later, after first dilating and taking a shallow bath (and taking about fifteen minutes to climb a flight of stairs). I sleep in my own bed, but as I need additional space to get comfortable (and Sarah is an unbelievably restless sleeper), Sarah has to sleep on the air mattress downstairs. She doesn’t complain, of course- she says she’s just happy to sleep in sheets that have had my scent rubbed into them all day- but it’s obvious that she badly wishes she was in bed with me. Almost as badly as I wish she was in bed with me…

“Do you, Nicola Christine Thomas,” the minister asks. “Take this woman, Sarah Jennifer Phillips, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” I whisper.

“And do you, Sarah Jennifer Phillips,” the minister asks. “Take this woman, Nicola Christine Thomas, to be your lawfully wedded vagina?” I maintain the smile on my face as the minister says the unexpected word, though the confusion it’s causing on Sarah’s face is making my panic levels rise higher and higher as she refuses to answer the question…

“Aah!” I gasp as I wake with a start, my face and body covered with a fine sheen of sweat. I take several deep breaths to calm myself down, before throwing back the covers and allowing the morning air to cool down my overheating body. I carefully remove my panties and grab a make-up mirror from my bedside table, holding it so that I can see my new crotch- which I still have a hard time believing is mine.

Rather than attempt to get back to sleep, I perform my first dilation of the day before heading to the bathroom to douche myself and thoroughly wash my entire body.

“Feminine hygiene indeed,” I mumble as I clean and sterilise my douche, before waking up my dad to help me limp downstairs, where we find Sarah already awake and sat on the sofa.

“Your throne awaits you, my queen,” Sarah giggles as she gestures toward the freshly-made airbed.

“Why thank you, my queen,” I reply in a fake posh voice that makes Sarah giggle happily. “Got anything planned for today?”

“Only watching you do your thing,” Sarah says, making me bristle. “Umm… By which I DON’T mean dilating, umm…”

“It’s fine,” I say with a smile. “I’ve already done my first for today, heh.”

“More importantly,” Sarah giggles, “what have you got planned for today?”

“Rubbing my scent into these sheets all day,” I say with a sly grin that makes Sarah giggle so much that she jumps off of the sofa and gives me a quick kiss.

“God, I love you so much,” Sarah sighs as she sits back down. “That won’t change if I see a part of you covered in bruises and stitches, you know.”

“Even THAT area?” I ask.

“ESPECIALLY that area,” Sarah says with a warm smile. “But if you’re not comfortable, umm, you know…”

“I’m still trying to get used to seeing it myself,” I mumble. “I mean, yes, I’ve had months to prepare for it, I wore those latex prosthetic things Jamie recommended I buy, but-“

“I know,” Sarah whispers. “You just relax and get your strength back, okay?”

“Okay,” I whisper as I lay back and try to relax. It’s not long, however, before I receive my first visitor of the day- my mentor, who greets me with a gentle hug the second she lays eyes on me.

“Oh my god Nikki Nikki Nikki!” Jamie squeaks. “I am SO proud of you…”

“Thanks,” I laugh, returning Jamie’s hug. “Is Stuart not with you?”

“No,” Jamie sighs. “Got an appointment to talk through part 3 of his own SRS, heh.”

“It’s kind of unfair that it’s so much more complicated for him than it is for us,” I say. “He has to have more operations, the recovery period is longer… For us, relatively speaking, anyway, it’s just ‘snip snip’ and we’re done.”

“Not that it’s ALL fun and games for us,” Jamie says.

“Oh, believe me, I know that’s DEFINITELY true,” I say, making Jamie and Sarah both laugh as I twirl one of my stents in my fingers.

“And Stuart’s SRS is maybe a cautionary tale not to want to, you know, have it put back on?” Sarah asks, making me grimace as Jamie and I stare at each other awkwardly.

“Not that there’s any danger of THAT happening, right?” Jamie asks, breaking the tension.

“HELL no,” I say as I fidget on my mattress. “I’ve dreamed about this for so long… Never imagined it aching so much, though.”

“It’ll pass,” Jamie says dismissively. “And quickly, too- within 3 months, mine felt like I’d had it my entire life. I honestly can’t remember what it was life to have, well, ‘not a vagina’.”

“There’d better not be a t-shirt that reads ‘I love my vagina’ in that shopping bag!” I giggle, pointing to the fancy bag my mentor brought with her into the house.

“No,” Jamie giggles. “Figured your parents probably wouldn’t want you wearing that around your sister, heh!”

“Think my dad’s the one who it’d affect the most,” I say, making Sarah and Jamie both double over with laughter.

“No, no, no,” Jamie laughs. “It IS a t-shirt, though…” I coo happily as Jamie produces the garment, which is a plain white t-shirt, on which is written the words ‘GIRL LIFE FOREVER’ in glittery pink script.

“That is so cool!” I giggle, slowly pulling the garment on over my dress. “And yes, I agree entirely!”

“And there’s one for you too, Sarah,” Jamie says, handing Sarah an identical t-shirt in her size. “Unless you’d prefer this one…” Sarah and I both sigh happily as Jamie produces two more t-shirts, this time in pink, with a bright red heart in the centre and cursive script that reads ‘Girl Love Forever’. “You think I didn’t notice that secret little ‘handshake’ you two do? It’s probably the cutest thing ever… So I figured I could spend a few extra quid on these, hehe!”

“They’re PERFECT,” Sarah says, pulling the ‘girl love’ t-shirt on over her loose dress.

“Everyone at the party tonight will be wearing them,” Jamie says, before her face suddenly turns sour. “All the girls, anyway, even those who HAVEN’T committed to a girl’s life forever…”

“Jamie,” I sigh, sussing immediately what- or rather, who- is the source of her darkening mood.

“Yes, I know, I shouldn’t judge other people,” Jamie sighs. “Still, I’m glad I had at least one protégé who was willing to listen to my advice!”

“You HAVE been a big help,” I say with a smile. “Just wish I could go to the party tonight…”

“Oh, Cinderella, you SHALL go to the ball,” Jamie teases. “Or rather, the ball shall come to you!”

“Umm…” I mumble. “We’re not going to get five people in this living room, let alone the twenty-five we usually get…”

“Hence why I brought this,” Jamie says, producing a very expensive webcam from her shopping bag. “The ball shall come to you… By Skype!”

“Oh, that is so cool!” Sarah squeaks. “Give it to me, I’ll set it up now!” I smile nervously as Sarah hooks the camera up to her laptop, which she then hooks up to our widescreen TV. As the image of the living room appears on the TV, however, my smile quickly fades.

“So…” I mumble. “The webcam’s going to be pointed up my dress all night?”

“Fine,” Sarah sighs, moving the webcam so that it’s pointed mostly at my side.

“And the two of you needn’t worry,” Jamie laughs. “It doesn’t look like THAT forever.”

“Whatever ‘that’ is, anyway…” Sarah mumbles, triggering another awkward silence.

“I, um, I should probably go,” Jamie mumbles, grabbing her bag. “Any questions, Nikki, just ask anytime. But I will say this- it WILL feel normal. Just give it time. And you’re so lucky to have the operation when you’re just nineteen… Most people don’t even begin transitioning until they’re a lot older. You’ve got a whole lifetime as an anatomical woman to look forward to. And trust me- it’s worth the wait!” I giggle as Jamie departs, leaving me alone with my fiancée.

“Nikki…” Sarah says hesitantly. “Why- um, I mean, do- do you have any regrets? You know, about the operation…”

“Umm, not really,” I say. “I mean, I wish it didn’t hurt so much, and the constant maintenance it needs sucks… But I’ve been living full-time as a woman for over three years. I never wanted to go back to being Nick, you know that… Do- do you regret me having it done?”

“No, of course not!” Sarah says, giving me a gentle cuddle. “Besides, it’s your body, you’re entitled to do what you want with it. I didn’t consult you before getting any of my piercings, did I?”

“Well- no, I guess not,” I say. “You know, on the topic of piercings, after Jamie had her operation, Krystie kinda got a piercing in her-“

“THAT is never, ever going to happen,” Sarah says, making me giggle happily. “Though if it made you more comfortable about showing me yours…”

“I will, I promise,” I sigh. “Soon. I just- I need-“

“-You need to get used to seeing it yourself, I get it,” Sarah says. “When’s your next dilation?”

“Umm, a couple of hours, why?” I ask.

“Just enough time for me to get comfortable, then,” Sarah laughs as she lays down next to me and wraps her arms around my torso. “There’s still plenty more girl for me to love without your vagina!” I giggle as I share a long, deep kiss with my fiancée, before settling down into her embrace.

I spend most of the afternoon laid on my sofa with mattress- when I don’t have to dilate, anyway- before shooing my parents out of the living room ahead of my ‘Skype party’. With Jenny staying overnight with our grandparents, we’ve been given permission for the party to last as long as we want- even though I know I’m going to be exhausted long before everyone else is.

Nonetheless, I have a smile on my face as a knock comes on our front door, which Sarah opens to reveal Katie and Lauren, wearing their ‘girl life forever’ t-shirts over their best party dresses. Both women are also fully made-up, almost as though they were heading out on the town afterwards.

“Going somewhere tonight?” I ask the two women.

“Nope,” Katie says smugly as she tips a bag of cosmetics onto the floor next to my airbed, whilst Lauren plugs in her hair straighteners. “Already got where I’m going!”

“This IS where the party is, isn’t it?” Lauren asks, wrapping a cape around my neck.

“Umm, sort-of,” I say.

“And this IS where the country’s girliest girlie of all is, isn’t it?” Katie giggles.

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall,” Lauren teases. “Who’s the girliest and most gorgeous of them all?”

“…Yeah,” I say, giggling excitedly as Katie applies a layer of make-up to my face that’s easily as thick as hers and Lauren’s, including a paler foundation than I normally wear, dark eyeshadow and blood-red lipstick. Once Lauren’s hair straighteners are warmed up, she uses them to make my naturally-wavy (and very long- longer than any of the other three girls) hair arrow-straight, framing my face beautifully, just like a fashion model. When I look at myself in the mirror, I gasp, awestruck at my reflection.

“Oh come on,” Katie giggles. “You’ve worn thicker make-up when we were doing shoots at college!”

“Yeah, but back then…” I say, before letting out a tired chuckle. “If you’re trying to make me feel as girly as possible… Mission accomplished!”

“No prizes for guessing what you mean by ‘back then’,” Katie laughs. “God… This is going to sound SO creepy, but can- can I-“

“No you may not!” Sarah says, trying (and failing) to disguise the firmness of her voice with a giggle and a grin. “At least, not until I’ve had my turn!”

“You haven’t even seen it yet?” Lauren asks. “Now that you’re, like, proper lesbians, I expected you to have already- well, you know…”

“Not for three months,” I sigh. “It needs time to heal. A LOT of time. That’s why I’m down here and barely moving, heh.”

“Still though,” Lauren says, “at least you now have ‘it’, right?”

“Right!” I say happily.

“It’s still so weird to think about ‘it’,” Katie sighs. “I mean, I just always thought of you as a girl anyway, but-“

“-But you always knew deep down I was different, and now I’m not?” I ask. “It’s okay.”

“It must’ve been a hundred times worse for you,” Lauren says. “I mean, as far as ‘weirdness’ goes, anyway.”

“You have NO idea,” I say, prompting a group giggle as Sarah logs into Skype and the four of us are greeted by a loud cheer from the party already in progress at Charlotte’s house.

“H- hi everyone,” I meekly say, earning more cheers as I wave.

“Hello Nikki!” Charlotte yells. “Hope we’re not keeping you up?”

“It’s Saturday night, that means we party!” I laugh, earning yet more cheers. In truth, though, I don’t feel a whole lot like partying, and after just ninety minutes or drinking non-alcoholic beverages and watching Sarah, Katie and Lauren dance around my living room, the Skype call is terminated and, with the girls’ assistance, I head upstairs for my daily shallow bath and final dilation of the day.

“Thank you so much for tonight, you awesome girlies!” I say with a happy giggle through the closed bathroom door. “I know it doesn’t seem like it because I’m SO knackered, but I really appreciate everything you’ve done.”

“It’s not every day one of our best friends fulfils a lifelong dream!” Lauren giggles.

“Are you two heading off to Charlotte’s now?” I ask.

“Why?” Katie asks. “This is where the party is, isn’t it?”

“Umm… Not really,” I reply. “This is where the sleepy girl who’s in a lot of pain is.”

“Hmm, that word, ‘sleep’…” Lauren teases, making the three women outside the bathroom all giggle excitedly.

“Chris?” Sarah shouts. “Can Katie and Lauren stay for a sleepover?”

“Sure,” dad yells, making me chuckle and roll my eyes. “Make sure they clear it with their mummies and daddies first!”

“You’d seriously rather be here?” I ask. “I’m getting into bed in, like, twenty minutes…”

“Reckon all three of us will fit on that air mattress?” Lauren asks.

“Shh, you’ll make Nikki jealous!” Sarah laughs. “You two can take the mattress, I’ll take the sofa, and we’ll Skype Nikki to sleep!”

“You guys- sorry, you GIRLIES are the absolute best!” I laugh as I get out of the bath, dry myself off and change into my short nightie, which earns wolf whistles from all three women as I exit the bathroom and do a slow twirl.

“GORGEOUS,” Sarah laughs, wrapping her arms around my neck and giving me a deep kiss. “Now get yourself into bed!”

“Yes, ma’am!” I giggle, returning Sarah’s kiss and climbing into bed with my iPad. As promised, Sarah, Katie and Lauren soon call me via Skype from the living room using the webcam Sarah set up, and we're even joined briefly by Jacinta and Ophelia from the former's home in Brighton (the two of them having gone home for the summer holiday). I eventually fall asleep giggling at the sight of the three women in their nighties singing and dancing- though every fibre of my being wishes I could be down there with them, rather than a prisoner of my own damaged body.

I wake up early on Sunday morning to discover that the Skype call is still going, even though the only thing happening on the screen is the rhythmic slow breathing of the three women in their respective ‘beds’. Rather than wake the three of them up, I quietly end the call and dilate, smiling as I muse on how increasingly ‘normal’ the act of pushing a stiff rod into my vagina is- and, more to the point, how increasingly ‘normal’ the mere fact of having a vagina is.

Once I’m done, I pull on yet another pair of soft panties and another short, loose sundress before heading downstairs. As I walk through the living room to the kitchen, though, my shuffling gait causes the room’s occupants to stir.

“Mmph,” Sarah moans as she slowly opens her eyes. “What- wh- Nikki? What the hell are you doing downstairs!?”

“…Getting breakfast?” I ask as Sarah’s near-hysteria wakes Katie and Lauren.

“You know you’re not supposed to come downstairs unassisted, not for the first week, anyway!” Sarah says as she assists me into the kitchen.

“I can walk down a fucking slight of stairs,” I giggle. “I’m feeling stronger every day.”

“There’s a difference between ‘stronger’ and ‘strong’,” Sarah sighs. “Have you dilated?”

“Yes, nurse,” I say, making my fiancée roll her eyes. “…I’m sorry, I just- I’m just kinda getting frustrated, you know?”

“I know you are,” Sarah sighs. “Maybe the sleepover was a bad idea…”

“No, it was a GREAT idea,” I laugh. “And when I’m better, we are SO having another one.”

“Damn right we are!” Lauren giggles as she sits down next to me and gives me a quick hug, with Katie soon following suit. “You know- ugh, this is gonna sound kinda weird, AGAIN, heh…”

“Go on,” I whisper.

“You- you don’t seem all that, you know, different,” Lauren mumbles. “You know, I was, like, expecting you to be all, well, different, you know, but you- you’re still just Nikki, you know?”

“Trust me, I FEEL different,” I say, sighing as Lauren blushes with embarrassment. “But I do know what you mean… Guess that means I was already super-girly before my operation, heh!”

“It’s almost like you didn’t even need the operation,” Katie says, leading to an awkward silence. “Umm… Forget I said that…”

“No, it’s okay,” I whisper. “I guess I didn’t ‘need’ it… I guess I didn’t really need hormones either, but I wanted it. I wanted it so, so badly… And now I have it!”

“It must be weird, not having anything, to, you know, look forward to,” Katie says. “I mean, you’re, like, ‘done’ now, aren’t you?”

“Well… I guess,” I say. “Though I wouldn’t say I don’t have anything to look forward to, especially with regard to experiencing life as a woman. I’ve got the whole experience of being a bride to look forward to, after all…” I smile as the table descends into a very loud mass giggle and talk of weddings, especially weddings and bridesmaids’ dresses.

Katie and Lauren depart shortly after mum and dad wake up, leaving me to assume my usual spot on my airbed, where I take the opportunity to relax (even if dad does ruin my relaxation by putting on highlights of the European Football Championships). The football goes off a short while later, though, when Grandpa Bill and Nanna Jean arrive, carrying a giggling Jenny in their arms.

“Aww,” mum sighs as she takes Jenny into her arms. “Finally got all my daughters back under the same roof!” My grandparents force out a laugh as they enter the house and see me laid on my airbed, though it’s very obvious- even after three years of getting used to me being their granddaughter- that their enthusiasm is forced.

“Hello, Nikki!” Nanna Jean says, leaning down to give me a gentle hug. “How are you feeling?”

“Still a little sore,” I say.

“So, Chris,” Grandpa Bill says, interrupting my conversation with my grandmother before it can continue. “You following Wimbledon this year?”

“Might do,” dad shrugs. “Between the football, tennis and the Olympics, we’ve got a lot of sport to look forward to!” I shrivel as Grandpa Bill briefly glances down at me, his meaning clear- the dad has a lot of sport to look forward to this summer, but he doesn’t have a son to look forward to watching it with- and now, he never will again.

My grandparents’ visit only last for forty-five minutes, but during that time, not a single word is exchanged about my operation. My grandparents haven’t even so much as brought me a gift…

I exchange another quick hug with my grandmother as she and Grandpa Bill depart a short while later (giving a lift to Sarah to go back to her house to get some clean clothes), though once they’re gone, I can’t help but let out a long, sad sigh.

“Don’t feel down,” mum says, crouching down beside me and giving me a much tighter hug than the one I received from my grandmother. “It’s-“

“Don’t say ‘it’s a big adjustment for them’,” I sigh. “They’ve had three years to adjust… One thing I’ve learned the last few days is just how little a difference the operation is to everyone else. Katie and Lauren don’t see me any differently than they did before, though I guess they never knew ‘Nick’…”

“Well I DID know Nick,” Mum says. “And when I look at you… Yes, I see a difference. I see a beautiful, strong young woman who I am so, so proud to call my daughter.”

“Thank you,” I sniffle as I lean into my mother’s embrace.

“And I know your sister’s really excited to have you home!” Mum giggles as dad returns from the kitchen with Jenny in his arms.

“When- when are you planning on telling her that her sister used to be her brother?” I ask. “I mean, it IS the sort of thing she’ll need to know, she’ll want to see old photos of the family, and I’m in a lot of them…”

“When we think she’s old enough to understand,” dad says. “Probably after she starts primary school. I mean, it’s not like it’s the sort of thing we have to hide from her, or the sort of thing she needs quote-unquote protecting from… But we don’t want her to get too confused, like, we don’t want her to ask to meet ‘Nick’, you understand?”

“Oh yeah, yeah I understand,” I say. “Some of the transgendered kids I help out have younger siblings, some parents are actually using that as an excuse to prevent them from transitioning.”

“Wouldn’t that be damaging to the transgendered kid, though?” Dad asks.

“Oh, almost certainly,” I say. “God knows it’d have damaged me if you’d prevented me from transitioning when I came out.”

“Well, I’m glad the only ‘damage’ you’ve got right now is of the surgically-inflicted kind!” Dad laughs.

“That’s not ‘damage’, it’s ‘repair’,” I retort, sticking my tongue out at my laughing father. “At least, it will be once it’s healed…” I sigh as I lay back down on my airbed and try not to focus on the dulling but still very present pain in my most sensitive area. A second dilation session doesn’t help the pain, but the return of my fiancée definitely puts the smile back on my face, especially as she lays down next to me on my airbed and wraps her arms around my torso.

“…How many clothes exactly have you brought round?” I ask, looking at the large suitcase Sarah dropped in the entranceway.

“Well, I don’t know how long you’ll be off your feet,” Sarah giggles. “You said it might be over a month before you’re back to normal. And I don’t intend to let go of you until you are.”

“Thanks,” I giggle as I give my fiancée a kiss. “But you shouldn’t spend all day inside with me, I mean, you only just finished uni, it’s summer, it’s nice and hot outside, you should be-“

“I should be right here, with the woman I love,” Sarah says, placing her finger on my lips. “Who took time off work to look after me when I had my wisdoms out? Who cared for me when I was laid up for a week with flu? Who looks after me every month during my time of the month?”

“I don’t do those things to score points,” I say. “I do them because I love you.”

“And I’m looking after you because I. Love. You,” Sarah insists. “I don’t know how many times I have to say it.”

“I know I’ll never get tired of hearing it,” I say, making Sarah giggle.

“One thing’s for sure, too,” Sarah says. “If we ever adopt, we’ll BOTH make amazing mothers.”

“One thing at a time!” I laugh.

“Yeah, I guess,” Sarah giggles. “I mean, I haven’t even seen…”

“You will soon, I promise,” I sigh. “Once my stitches are out.”

“That could still be a while,” Sarah moans, before composing herself. “Nope, I promised you privacy, you’ll get privacy.”

“Thank you,” I whisper as I snuggle into Sarah’s embrace, where- with the exception of when I have to dilate- I remain for the rest of the day, before heading upstairs to once again sleep alone.

“Do you, Nicola Christine Thomas,” the minister asks, “take this woman, Sarah Jennifer Phillip, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” I whisper.

“And do you, Sarah Jennifer Phillips,” the minister asks the woman stood opposite me in her pristine white wedding dress, “take this woman, Nicola Christine Thomas, to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” Sarah whispers.

“I now pronounce you wife and wife,” the ministers announces as everyone in the church cheers loudly. “You may kiss the bride.” Sarah and I giggle excitedly as we lean in to kiss each other, but as our lips meet, the minister continues speaking. “You made the right choice, Nikki.”

Despite the dull ache in my groin, I have a wide, happy smile on my face as the sun streams through my curtains and wakes me from my slumber. After washing and dilating for the first time today, I head toward the top of the stairs, but before I step down the first stair, I change my mind and head back to my bedroom to grab my phone. I grin as I hit the first number on my speed dial, and the familiar opening bars of ‘Mickey’ by Toni Basil blare from downstairs.

“Mmph…” Sarah moans into the phone. “Nikki? Why are you calling from upstairs?”

“Because I need your help to get downstairs,” I say, grinning as the call is immediately terminated. Fifteen seconds later, my bedroom door is flung wide open to reveal my nightie-clad fiancée, who gives me a long, deep kiss before wrapping an arm around me and helping me down to the living room.

“Sooo…” Sarah teases. “Why have you gone from ‘proud, independent woman’ to ‘damsel in distress’ all of a sudden?”

“Because you were right about what you said yesterday,” I concede.

“About not being well enough to get downstairs by yourself?” Sarah asks.

“About everything you said,” I reply. “Sometimes… God, this is gonna sound silly, but…”

“No, go on,” Sarah whispers.

“Sometimes…” I grimace as Sarah lays me down on my airbed. “Sometimes- I kinda feel that, you know, you don’t love me as much as I-“

“Shut up,” Sarah orders with a clipped voice. “Now. Seriously, don’t EVER say that, Nikki.”

“I- I’m sorry,” I mumble, shedding a single tear as Sarah turns her back to me- a sure sign that I’ve made her cry too.

“I would ask ‘how can you say that’,” Sarah sniffles. “But sometimes… I kinda feel the same way too. Guess we’re both just insecure, heh.”

“These gorgeous things on our left hands should be proof to both of us, shouldn’t they?” I ask.

“Well, we’ll just have to put ANOTHER ring on those fingers, won’t we?” Sarah asks as she lays down next to me. “Nikki… You’re the only person I’ve ever loved. You’re the only person I ever WILL love. Literally, I think I’m physically incapable of loving anyone else the way I love you. Don’t ever doubt that. If I have to spend every second of the summer inside looking after you, then I will. And I will love every second of it.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, giving Sarah a long, slow kiss.

“Now in slightly LESS important news,” Sarah giggles, “your toenails are SERIOUSLY in need of some TLC!”

“You may be right,” I say, giggling as I stare at the chipped, worn purple polish on my toenails. Within seconds, Sarah is sat by my feet, repainting my toenails with a wide grin on her face. Her grin fades throughout the pedicure, though, as I constantly rearrange my dress to keep my sensitive ‘area’ hidden from her view.

“All done,” Sarah announces as I wiggle my new shiny toenails. “As gorgeous as the rest of you!”

“Thanks,” I say. “Want me to do yours?”

“Depends,” Sarah says. “Are you just talking about my toenails?”

“Cheeky,” I retort, making Sarah giggle excitedly.

“I’m going to get a drink,” Sarah announces. “Want anything?”

“Please,” I say. “Just a Diet Coke if there is one. Still need to get used to peeing through this thing…”

“Sure,” Sarah says, disappearing into the kitchen. Much to my surprise, when the kitchen door opens a few seconds later, it’s not my fiancée who emerges, but my mother, who sits down on the sofa, cradling my sister in her arms.

“Umm, hi mum,” I say. “Is- is Sarah still in-“

“Yes,” mum says, interrupting me. “Nikki… She’s really upset.” Tears form in the corners of my eyes and my heart sinks as mum tells me this- though I know, deep down, exactly why Sarah’s upset- and that I’m 100% to blame.

“I-“ I say, before sighing. “Mum… I can’t- I can’t show her, I just can’t…” I sniffle as my tears start freely flowing, and I only cry more as mum puts Jenny in her playpen before crouching down beside me and giving me a long, tender hug.

“What makes you think she’s love you any less?” Mum asks. “What makes you think that it’s so big a change, considering how much you’ve changed over the last three years?”

“Yeah, well-“ I sob. “That- that was gradual, this change is big, too big-“

“Nikki,” mum whispers. “If Sarah truly loves you, she’ll accept you regardless of how you look.”

“But-“ I stammer, before sighing. But what if she doesn’t truly love me? I think to myself. What a question to ask, especially after what Sarah just said.

“No buts?” Mum asks after I pause, smirking as I shake my head. “I thought not.”

“Can- can I show you first?” I ask in a quiet, timid voice that makes me feel like I’m four years old again.

“Of course you can,” mum whispers, and my cheeks burn with embarrassment as I lower my panties, exposing my scarred, sensitive ‘area’ to my mother.

“You look… Perfectly fine,” mum says as I hastily rearrange my knickers. “Yes, there are a lot of stitches right now, but that’s exactly what it is- right now. They’ll be removed soon. The scarring will fade. And all that will be left is a beautiful young woman with her whole future ahead of her.”

“Thanks,” I sniff. “Can- can you help me upstairs, please?”

“Of course,” mum whispers, helping me off my airbed and up the stairs to my bedroom, where I strip off all my clothes and lay on my bed stark naked. After taking several deep breaths, I once again reach for my phone, giggling as I again hear ‘Mickey’ playing downstairs.

“Nikki?” Sarah asks with a stoic voice, obviously trying to disguise how upset she is. “What is it, where are you? I’ve got your drink…”

“I’m in my room,” I say. “Can you come upstairs, please?”

“Umm, okay,” Sarah says, ending the call. I take several more nervous breaths as I hear Sarah walk upstairs, nearly hyperventilating as my bedroom door opens and Sarah’s jaw drops as she stares at my naked form.

“H-hi,” I stutter. “Could- could you shut the door, please?” Sarah- on the verge of hyperventilating herself- quickly shuts the door, before sitting down on the edge of my bed, her eyes seemingly locked onto my ‘area’.

“It’s not very pretty, is it?” I grimace.

“…I think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Sarah says sincerely. “As are you.”

“You- you’re just saying that,” I sigh.

“I’m saying that because I really believe it,” Sarah whispers, leaning in to give me a gentle kiss on my lips. “Thank you. I know this wasn’t easy for you, but there was no need to be so self-conscious. It doesn’t matter you have down there, how many stitches or scars you have. As long as it’s attached to you, then no matter what it is, I’ll always think it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.” Sarah smiles as tears start to well in both of our eyes.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve a girlfriend as amazing as you,” I sniffle as I lean into Sarah’s waiting embrace. “And I’m so glad I had the operation.”

“So am I,” Sarah whispers. I smile as I remain in Sarah’s arms for what feels like a blissful eternity. For my entire adult-life, I’ve felt self-conscious everywhere I go- as a woman trapped in the body of a man, I always feared that I’d ‘stand out’, be found out by people, be mocked as a result… Wearing swimsuits or leotards without anything on top was always a nervous experience for me, but now, my nerves have been literally cut away- only to be replaced by other ‘nerves’, nerves about how the person I love the most would react to me.

However, as is so often the case with Sarah and my relationship, I needn’t have worried one bit. From the very first second I told Sarah about ‘Nikki’, almost five years ago, she’s done nothing but support me, by helping me be the girl I always wanted to be, by helping me come out to my parents, so I have no idea why I thought SRS would be any different. For as much as my life may be changing, one thing has always remained constant- my love for Sarah, and now I know beyond any doubt that her love for me will also never waver.

Now that I’m ‘complete’, the whole world of womanhood is mine to explore and enjoy to my fullest, and I intend to do just that- with the woman I love at my side every step of the way. I am Nikki- watch me soar!