The Girl in the Mirror

By Julie D Cole

My greatest wish through college had been to date my heartthrob Rebecca and I had often found myself looking at my image in the mirror reflecting on the numerous occasions I’d tried to date her before finally accepting that she preferred female company; The image was of a slightly built underdeveloped man. short in height .and with a pained expression that seemed to be etched permanently on his face. In all seriousness my chances of developing a relationship with Rebecca were virtually zero.
By now we’d both matured a little but from what I’d learned neither of us were currently dating do I still had a chance. A former classmate had recently tipped me off that she was now working in her fathers company as a Sales Executive and had advertised for a personal assistant with experience of media and advertising. I had the necessary experience and qualifications and was currently seeking a fresh challenge, but the job seemed more suited to a female applicant. But I felt I had to apply.

Tracey was the close friend who told me about her current situation and she knew that I was desperate to make contact with Rebecca but said that my chances of developing a close relationship were slim because since college she’d had several courtships but she’d never disclosed until now that they were all with women.
‘Look Jules let’s be real you don’t tick the right boxes so why don’t you just accept that she is out of your league. I’m not saying that you aren’t a great catch just please find a nice girlfriend who appreciates your nice personality and kindness. You are a great friend and I don’t want to see you get hurt. Most women I know want to find a partner like you who shares their interests and understands their mood swings etc.’

‘Well that’s how I was raised I guess and I never had a male influence at home growing up and it’s not like I have the height and physique to compete with the jocks around here or those from our college days so I was happier hanging around with the girls that you and Rebecca hung around with at college. I’m still in touch with a few of them and I like them all. I don’t have any male friends.’

‘Interesting. So clearly you are not gay then?’
‘No I’m not. Why do I look like I am?’

‘Well you do have soft features and as you say you were raised without any strong masculine influence so if you don’t mind me saying a lot of men would be attracted to you. Have you ever kissed a guy or fancied one and thought about the signals you give out sometimes and the image you project.’

‘No I haven’t at all. I guess you’ve adopted a lot of the mannerisms of the girls we hung around with at college and my sister and cousins.’

‘Do you remember us dressing you up as one of us one night to celebrate Karens birthday and then how easy it was for us to convince the staff on the door at a club that we were all old enough to enter and buy drinks? If you had been in male mode we’d have been challenged I’m sure.’

‘Yes I remember it well but all credit to the girls for the make-up and stuff. Don’t forget we’d all been drinking wine all afternoon and if I remember it was your idea to dress me up’
‘Well I always thought you’d make a beautiful girl. You didn’t take much persuading, and you played the part all evening and you joined in the dancing. I don’t think you realised how feminine you acted and a few guys couldn’t take their eyes off you. You were really on a high by the time we got back to Karens place. I did notice that Rebecca was impressed. I think she liked your feminine side.’

‘Well I never noticed I’m afraid. Are you saying that she might like me or date me if I was a woman?’

‘Maybe. Perhaps she is into crossdressers or transvestites I don’t know. I can only say she came out recently to her parents as lesbian.’

That was the point at which it clicked. My lightbulb moment. I could dress for the interview and surprise Rebecca. Who cares about the job as long as I got a chance of developing a friendship and with luck I might get a date.
‘Tracey. how about I dress again for the interview and pretend to be my sister or cousin.’
‘Are you mad. What about the job? You’ll blow your chances. She’s not one to fool around with as you know. Not since her father employed her. She has changed a lot. It’s an important job with a lot of responsibility.’

‘Of course, but as long as I see her again and let her know how I feel about her.’

‘You are crazy. You could make matters worse.’

‘Whatever. I’m doing it. Decision made so will you help me or not?’

‘Of course I will. but I don’t think you’ll fool anybody. She’ll recognise you immediately. We’ve known you long enough.’

‘I’m doing it so how can you help me?’

‘Of course I will so I don’t suppose you have anything to wear do you?’

‘No I don’t. I’ve no idea what is appropriate or what might catch her eye. Do you think it’s possible to make me look like a woman she might like to date?’

‘It’s a challenge but hey if you are determined to give it a go then how can I refuse. I suppose we can visit a charity shop or something and find a few things to play around with. I have a friend who can help with make-up and a wig. Then we can get you a pedicure and a manicure and if necessary, a body wax.’

‘Tracey you are a star. Thanks so much. When do we start?’

‘It’s up to you. What’s your plan for the job application? Have you submitted anything yet? What about your CV and are you prepared to face the chance of being reported to the authorities? I suppose you could just say you are transgender and admit who you are and that you are in the early process of changing sex. I suggest you do a little research on the internet so you get all your ducks in a row.’

…………………………………………………………………………………………

So that was it. I applied for the job and I sent an explanation of who I was and that since college I’d been living as a woman. I risked embarrassment and rejection but as Tracey reminded me companies can’t reject on the basis of gender or applicants who might have gender confusion..

We found several outfits that were suitable but finding the right shoes was a little more difficult. Tracey insisted that I should wear a fitted dress with heels for the interview to show off my shapely legs. She wasn’t too impressed by my choice of heels that were a bit over the top for an interview but as I said my real objective was to attract Rebecca.

The visit to the salon was an experience in itself but I loved it. I will definitely be going back.

I received a positive response to my application and the interview date and time were confirmed. Tracey was kind enough to drive me there and waited patiently in the car park.

When I entered the meeting room I saw Rebecca at the head of the table and I was greeted by the HR officer who had all my details. Rebecca looked at me and smiled politely but said nothing. I was treated courteously and I felt that the interview was conducted very professionally. At least Rebecca had acknowledged me and looked me up and down. However she never referred to our past association at college or our group friendship. I had no idea whether she was seriously considering my application or not or whether she was embarrassed for me or annoyed. I was a little disappointed as I thanked both of them and moved to leave the meeting room with the HR Officer as escort. Just when I given up all hope she passed me a business card and whispered to me that Ms Atkinson had asked me to call her on her mobile later that evening. Her number was on her business card.

I was shocked as I headed for the exit but as I left the building it felt like I was walking on air. I wanted to shout out loud. I almost ran into Tracey’s arms and all but knocked her over. I gave her the biggest hug.

‘How did it go? ‘

‘I don’t know really but Rebecca passed me her card, She wants me to call her later. Do you think she might want to meet me? ‘

‘Well let’s wait and see. Sounds encouraging so to be on the safe side I suggest that you leave your outfit on. Let’s drive to Starbucks and have a coffee and a chat.’