CHAPTER 44 -- Eric, Again

Things were going okay with Eric. Eric kept his side of the truce -- he didn't try to get near me, or talk to me, or even talk about me. I tried to act like I was ignoring him, but I kept catching myself trying to see what he was doing or hear what he was saying. I couldn't hear the words, but I could tell that he was getting along great some of the time, but sometimes I'd hear, "Eric, no!" or "That wasn't okay!" and there'd be some serious sounding conversation and he would look dejected for a while.

Teresa told me some of it. "Basically, he's a nice guy, but sometimes he comes out with some really sexist stuff or he does something that's not okay, and we have to yell at him and then explain things to him. It's like no one ever taught him how to act, or they taught him the wrong things. But he is getting better. Slowly."

"I wonder if we should try talking to each other again. You know, me admitting he exists, and vice versa. On a trial basis. I mean, we can't pretend each other doesn't exist forever." Teresa agreed, so I called Reverend Jen and we worked it out for the next youth group night.

I thought Eric would come over as soon as I got there, but he just stayed with other people. Finally, I went over and said, "hi."

"The pastor told me we didn't have to avoid each other, but I thought you hated me so much, you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me."

"I never hated you. I hated how you were treating me. If you can, like, not touch me without asking first, and give me space when I ask, and, yeah, call me by my name, I'll be okay with you. And I'd rather not have to avoid you. It was getting really weird."

We didn't say anything for a little bit. Eric was looking down at the floor. Then he said, still looking down, "I'm sorry about how I treated you that first night. I think I understand how it felt to you. I just didn't think. And it was weird. I don't know why I acted like that. I don't usually act like that with anybody. I think I was nervous or something. I was a real jerk."

"Forgiven," I said. I hated seeing him so down on himself. "Why don't we try talking like normal people? You know, talk about school, or what we do for fun, or rag on our least favorite teachers. Or argue about pizza toppings. You know, 'anchovie lovers unite! You have nothing to lose but your pepperoni!'" That got a little smile out of him.

Over the next couple of youth groups, we talked a lot. Part of it was that he was new, but part of it was that except for the four of us, everyone went to Greenwood. It's not that they were exactly unfriendly, but they had all that school stuff in common and got tired of having to explain stuff that everybody except us knew all about. So a lot of the time we ended up together.

I talked about Gabriel School, which he thought was fascinating, it was so different from anything he'd ever seen in school. He talked about Hollingsworth, which seemed like a nicer version of West High. I found out that he had an old truck which he repaired himself. He'd even rebuilt the engine by himself. He lived with just his mom, his parents had gotten divorced when he was around five and his father didn't go to much trouble to see him. His mom did her best, but she worked long hours to support them, and she was trying to find a boyfriend who might be a half-decent stepdad for Eric, which took up a lot of whatever free time she had. He worked after school every day to bring in some more money. It sounded like a tough life.

Once we ran out of school and home stuff to talk about, we'd talk about how we saw things, or how people relate. I would talk to him about stuff we'd learned in Respect class, and it would always blow him away. For instance, all he knew about relating to girls was acting macho and trying to impress them.

"Isn't it a drag to have to pretend to be something you aren't all the time?" I asked. "And what good is it if they like what you pretend to be, but you don't know if they like who you really are?"

"Yeah, when you put it that way, it sounds stupid, but what else is there? I mean, if you like a girl, what do you do? I just hang around them and try to act cool, but they don't seem to get the message."

"You could try just telling them you're interested."

"You mean, just say it?"

"Yeah, you could say, Suzy so-and-so, I like you. If she acts like it's okay, you could go on to suggest some things to do together."

"You mean, like, 'Melanie, I like you'?"

"That's it." Typical Eric, to use my name.

"Melanie, I like you," he repeated.

"Yeah, that's pretty good."

"Melanie." He looked me in the eye. "I like you. I mean it." I just stared at him. It didn't compute at first.

"Aw, jeez, I guess I did it wrong again."

"No, ..." I felt really tongue-tied. "No, you did it just right. It's just that -- I don't know, I don't know what. I feel so confused."

He looked dejected again. "I shouldn't have said it."

"No, if that's how you feel, you should say it. It's a really nice thing to say. It's just that, well, I need some time to figure out how I feel about it. It's sort of unexpected."

We had opening circle, but I was too distracted to say anything. Then we had the topic, and I was busy thinking about that. But then we broke up into small groups. Eric was in my group and we ended up sitting next to each other. I kept remembering how he put his arm around me that first time, and I felt like I really wanted him to do it now. I don't know why, I just did. It was all I could think of. When we were done, I got up my courage.

"Eric, I don't know how you feel about it, but I was just thinking -- well, I'd like it if you put your arm around me."

"I thought it really bothered you if I touched you."

"Only if you do it without asking. That's all I wanted, for you to respect how I feel." When we got back into the circle, Eric sat down in front of a couch and I sat next to him and he put his arm around my shoulders. It felt so nice. I leaned my head on his shoulder and it felt even nicer. He leaned his head on top of mine. I whispered into his ear, "Eric: I think I like you, too." Reverend Jen and some of the kids on the opposite side of the circle were looking at us, and Reverend Jen kind of smiled but didn't say anything. I think word got around by mental telepathy or something, because other people would turn around and secretly look at us. Eric had a few things to say about the topic, but I didn't. I think I was distracted. Actually, I don't remember what the topic was. It didn't make much of an impression, I guess. At least, not compared with snuggling with Eric.

When pizza came, Eric and I sat at the same table. Teresa joined us, and then Amy.

"You know we're going to tease you unmercifully," said Teresa.

"I don't know about teasing, but I think you all looked so cute together," said Amy. "Eric and Melanie in love. We could make a movie about it."

"We're only in like," I insisted. Then I looked at Eric and he looked kind of hurt, so I added, "So far, anyway."

"Keep us posted," said Teresa. "Weekly progress reports."

Eric and I found a spot on a couch and he put his arm around me again and I leaned on him again, too. He started playing with my hair. Amy came over and sat next to me and leaned onto me, so I put my arm around her. Then one of the Greenwood boys came over and tried to lie on our laps. I don't know who else would have tried to pile on or how, but Reverend Jen picked that moment to call us together.

When it was time to go, Eric kind of awkwardly said, "are we 'in like' enough that we can trade phone numbers? And maybe ask you out sometime?"

"Sure," I said. But he still looked nervous even after we'd put the numbers in our phones.

"Would you get upset if I happened to ask if I could, uh, kiss you?"

I couldn't resist teasing him. "Why? Is that something you might just happen to say?" But then he looked so sad, I couldn't keep it up. "Yes, I'd love it if you kissed me. If you'll give me a hug, too. But -- well, I'm not a very good kisser."

He didn't say anything, he just put his arms around me and looked me in the eye, real close. He was a few inches taller than me, and I suddenly thought, I'd probably be his same size if I hadn't gotten that treatment. Maybe like him in other ways, too.

He gently kissed me on the mouth, pulled back, then did it again. Then I squeezed him to me. Teresa came by to tell me her dad was here to pick us up, so I said goodbye to Eric.

In the car, Teresa said to me, "you are definitely smitten with him. I see he's got your number."

"My phone number. He wants to get together again. A date, I guess. I don't know when I'm going to squeeze it in, though."

I was busy with schoolwork that week, so I sort of forgot about Eric, but not really. So when he called me Wednesday night, it was a surprise, but it's not like I wasn't kind of hoping for it, too.

"Do you want to see a movie tomorrow night?"

"Thanks for asking, but weeknights I have to study. It'd have to be a weekend."

"You study every weeknight?"

"That's a Gabriel School thing, I guess. They don't want idle hands, or something."

"How about Saturday?"

"I already agreed to go out with a bunch of my friends. I might be able to manage Friday night, though. I could do my Friday night homework on Saturday morning. What movie?"

"I could manage Friday night, I'm not working then. I was thinking of 'District 99.' It's a sci-fi movie about a future where the rich control everything and keep everybody practically like slaves, and this guy who's trying to start a revolution."

"Sounds violent and depressing. I'm not sure I'm up for that. Is there anything playing that's a little more, uh, upbeat?"

We went through the movie listings and settled on one called 'Who?,' about two guys who aren't related but look exactly alike and end up in the same vacation town and everyone mixes them up.

On Friday, Eric came by to pick me up right after dinner. My aunt and uncle invited him in and kind of looked him over. They were friendly and welcoming, but they made sure they had his address and phone numbers and my uncle kind of surreptitiously got a look at Eric's truck. Once we were on our way, Eric asked, "are you parents always that suspicious of guys?"

"My aunt and uncle, not my parents. I think they're a little protective of me because I've had some bad experiences with high-school kids. This is the first time I've gone out with someone who wasn't from Gabriel School. And they don't know much about you. Well, actually, they do know about how you and I, let's say, didn't exactly get off on the best foot when we first met."

"I guess I'll have to be on my best behavior, then."

"What other kind of behavior were you thinking of being on?"

"Jeez, can't I do anything right?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't tease. Hey, this is the truck you fixed up, right? What kind of stuff did you have to do to it?" A nice safe topic. It turned out it was also one he could talk about for hours. I breathed a sigh of relief. But I was going to have to watch my smart-ass comments in the future.

The movie was better than I expected. I ended up laughing so hard I almost choked on some popcorn and Eric had to pound my back so I could breathe again. After the movie, we went to my local ice cream shop. I had hot chocolate and strawberry ice cream, and Eric had a coffee float.

"You know," I said, "I think this is the first real date I've ever been on."

"You've never been on a date before?"

"Oh, I've gone out with friends and hung out and seen movies and stuff, but this is the first time somebody's, like, asked me out and planned an evening together. You're my first." I kind batted my eyes at him. But then I suddenly felt a little weird. It was so girly and cutsy-dumb. I mean, I wanted to act like a girl and live like one, but this was getting kind of over the top. Was I going to turn into one of those girls I could never stand to be around?

Eric didn't seem bothered by it, though. He just said, "put it there!" and we high-fived.

Eric brought me back around 11:00. My aunt and uncle were still up and invited Eric in for coffee and cakes, but he said he had to get home, since he was working in the morning. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the porch, and then he left.