CHAPTER 52 -- Zeke

A few days later, Zeke came up to me at lunch and asked me out.

I guess I should say, it didn't happen out of the blue. Zeke had been trying to be friends with me since maybe the fall. I'd been letting him know when we were hanging out, like I'd said, so he'd been around. My friends all kind of looked at him like the puppy that follows you home. The biggest problem was that he was still trying to seem all grown-up and like he had it all together. A little before Thanksgiving, I'd finally kind of told him off.

"Zeke, you're a nice guy, I think we all feel that way about you. But when you make like you're so mature and cool, it drives us up a wall. Well, me, anyway. I mean, we're not grown-ups and we are immature. Even when we're trying, we do stupid stuff. So when you pretend you don't, first of all, we don't believe it, and second, it means we can't talk with you about stuff. About all the stupid-feeling stuff that's going on with us. And when we do silly or dopey stuff, it feels like you're thinking we're stupid." Then I thought, that's a little harsh. When he didn't say anything, I added, "Oh jeez, I didn't mean to be that mean about it. We still like you. It's just that you'd be easier to take if you could lighten up and be yourself."

He didn't say anything. He kind of slumped down. After a while, I took his hand and held it. I kept wanting to say something, but I remembered how my Aunt kept saying sometimes you have to just let people sit with something. Finally, in a choked-up voice, he said, "It's kind of hard. I have to keep reminding myself that you -- you wouldn't do anything to be mean and try to listen to you and not get mad. If anyone else had said that -- Well, I guess I have some thinking to do." He got up to go. We were in the cafeteria and it was about time for class.

"Just remember," I said as we were leaving, "we do like you, however you are." He got a half-smile and then we went off to our next class.

It took a little while, but he started to act more like a kid. He got more puppy-like, but in a cute way, and we made a point of saying how he was more fun to be around now. And he was, we weren't lying. He started coming up with crazy fun ideas. Some of them were just crazy, but some were pretty good.

He did especially like hanging out with me. A lot of the time, it would be me and Doris and Zeke kind of all together and sometimes Teresa and Jeff, too. I asked Doris if she minded that he seemed to have a crush on me and she said as long as I wasn't planning to dump her, she didn't mind me and Zeke hanging out. Actually, she seemed to think he was a pet. If he was lying down, she'd come over and start petting him like a cat.

Speaking of his crazy ideas: one day, a little before Christmas, he said, "we ought to do a MST3K."

"A what?" I asked.

"Mystery Science Theater 3000," he patiently explained. "You watch some cheezy sci-fi movie and make fun of it. I could download a movie and show it on your wide screen TV." So one Saturday afternoon, that's what we did. Zeke and Doris and I, and Teresa and Jeff and Dennis and Ursula, we all made popcorn and hung out in the basement while Zeke hooked his laptop to the TV and played a movie about some alien tomatoes that would grow in someone's garden and then come in and kill and eat them and then leave their seeds in the next garden. When the US army came, they shot the soldiers and the tanks with seeds. We got to snuggle and laugh and eat popcorn and snark at the movie.

So, anyway, he asked if I wanted to go to a movie with him and I said yes. There's a movie theater in town that shows old movies and it was having a "Star Wars" festival. The movie he wanted us to see was one I'd never heard of and he hadn't heard much either, but he said, "if it's good, we can enjoy it together and if it's bad, we can make fun of it together."

He asked Doris if she wanted to come, too. I think we knew he was just being nice because Doris and I were something of a thing, but Doris said she'd pass. She also said, "don't do anything I wouldn't do." To which I said, "what exactly is there that you wouldn't do?" One good snark deserves another. I guess she thought so, too, because she just laughed.

Anyway, we decided to make an Occasion of it by dressing nice. I wore a pale pink blouse with a kind of scarf tied around the collar and a royal blue over-the-knee skirt with pale pink tights and black Mary Janes. I'd washed my hair (!) and put it back with a hair band. I thought it looked nice. His dad was going to take us there and my uncle was going to pick us up.

So Friday night, Zeke and his dad came in. Zeke had on navy blue pants, black shoes, a light blue shirt, and a scarf tied sort of like an ascot. "You look like a movie producer!" I said. I think he took it as a compliment.

"You look pretty nice, too," he said. "Quite the lady."

His dad and my aunt and uncle talked a bit. We'd both been over to each other's houses, so it's not like they didn't know who we were, but they sort of pretended they wanted to know who their kids were going to be going out with.

We got dropped off at the movie theater. Zeke insisted on buying the tickets. "Can I just this once play the mature, masterful guy?" he'd pleaded and I said okay. The previous showing hadn't quite ended, so we sat on a bench in the foyer.

"Can I put my arm around you?" Zeke asked.

"Only if you give me a kiss," I said. I was feeling pretty daring. So we turned towards each other and he put both arms around me and slowly pulled my face to his. He gave me one very light kiss on the lips, then waited a second or two and gave me another, deeper one.

"I hope this is okay. I'm not a very good kisser. I mean, I haven't done it much -- except with relatives, like my mom. Okay, she's not a relative, she's my--" I shut him up by planting my lips on his and gently rubbing them and then giving him a long kiss.

"I think you kiss just fine. You take your time so you don't mash my lips and so I have a chance to get prepared. It's really, uh--" I realized I was sounding too practical, not romantic enough. "Really sweet. Really romantic." I should have shut up then, but I went on. "Like the first kiss I got from Dennis." As soon as I said it, I knew I'd blown the mood again. "Oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm so stupid, I shouldn't compare you to--"

"Come on, Melanie, you're not stupid. And I don't mind if you compare me to Dennis. Hey, if I'm half as good as Dennis, I figure I'm doing pretty well. Let's try again. Make sure it wasn't just an accident." We both laughed nervously. Then he gently pulled my shoulders until our lips were touching and he gave me another one of those light kisses and then a deeper one and rubbing lips and a long kiss. It was good the first time we did it, but even better the second time.

"Can I just put my head on your shoulder?" I asked.

"Uh, sure," he replied. I scrunched up next to him and leaned my head over.

"It's not that I don't like kissing you, it's just that I'm really feeling like being close to you. Can you just hold me?" I asked.

"No problem."

He sounded kind of not sure of himself, so I said, "mmm, that's really nice." It was, too. I felt like I was floating away.

After a while, I don't know how long because I was in heaven, the people started coming out of the theater, so we stood up and waited to go in. Zeke put his arm around my waist and I put my hand on top of his shoulder. "You know," he said, "this is how you stand for some kinds of dances. You know, waltz, cha-cha, that kind of thing. Maybe we should take dance lessons together. Maybe, next prom, we could actually know what we're doing!"

"What a concept!" We both laughed.

We sat together in the middle of the theater and we snuggled through the movie. Well, as much as you can when you're in separate movie theater seats. Considering how much people like to neck in theaters, I'm surprised they don't make them so you can get rid of the stupid barrier between the seats. The movie turned out to be not so bad, so we just watched it and didn't try to make fun of it.

I called my uncle after we got out since he was driving us home. We waited on the same bench as before. I was feeling a little sleepy, so I laid my head on his shoulder and he put his arm around me. It was even nicer than before. He started stroking my back and I just went, "mmmm," like before.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," I said. "Except I'm afraid it might not be too comfortable for you."

"I'm fine with it. Really."

"I think I should try holding you while you lean on me. Come on, let's at least try it." So we shifted around and I put my arm around him. After a while, I took my other hand and stroked his hair and gently brushed his face with my fingertips. It was nice, too. I felt like I wanted to do nice things for him and give him some taking-care-of. I rubbed my check against his head, since I couldn't turn my head enough to actually kiss him.

About then, my uncle came in. He looked at us and got a sort of indulgent smile, but told us it was time to go. We dropped Zeke off at his house. I walked him to the door and we had a last hug and kiss, more of a brother-sister kind of kiss, but still.

That night, I kept thinking how nice it was to hug him and kiss him. I thought it would be real nice to lie next to each other and hold him or have him hold me. It was weird. Just a month earlier, I'd made love to Eric. I'll still call it "making love," even if it did turn out badly. And here I was mooning over another guy and he was about as opposite of Eric as I could imagine. With Eric, there was always some problem or other. With Zeke, I just did what I felt like and it was always fine. I didn't know if I wanted to make love to Zeke, or ever would, but I was sure if we did do it, it would feel right.

I also thought about how I really liked him, but I also liked Doris, only in different ways. I couldn't say I liked one more than the other, it was just too different. It's like when you like chocolate ice cream, but you also like orange sherbet, and you think: is there some way I could have both?