CHAPTER 36 -- Back to School

School was starting next week, so Aunt Edith took me on yet another shopping trip. She said I'd filled out and needed new bras, plus my tights were wearing out, plus she thought I needed some dressier skirts and blouses. So we went to the bra store and Teresa got me to get some racier bras as well as plain ones. Well, they seemed racy to me: mostly they were just lacy and one was sort of see-through, and one was black. Then we went to the mall and they got me more tights and underwear and a frilly white blouse and a long black wool skirt and another plain skirt and dress, since I still couldn't wear pants. I spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with Teresa and her friends.

When school started, I felt like an old lag. I knew where everything was, at least once I got my schedule, and I knew what to do everywhere. The first day, I ate lunch with Sylvia and her friends, so I could congratulate her on passing algebra. I saw Dennis there, too. Actually, he was in my English class again. He saw me, but he acted like he didn't know me. I didn't want to make a scene the first day back, but it bugged me. I mean, even Zeke said hi.

Finally, on Friday, I said something. I went over to Dennis's table. Everyone turned to look at me, and Dennis was looking nervous. Good, I thought. I looked straight at Dennis, like no one else was there, and I said, "Dennis, you don't have to be friends with me if you don't want. But at least admit I exist. At least look at me and say hi when I walk by. That's just respect." Then I walked back to Teresa's table and ate my lunch. Later, Dennis walked over and said he was sorry and we shook hands.

Homework, of course, started up the first day, so Teresa and I were pretty busy every evening, but Doris asked me to come down to the coffee house Saturday night with her and her friends and then spend the night at her place. "Sort of a pyjama party," she said, except that it would be just us two. We could go to her church the next day if I didn't want to rush home to go to ours.

So I packed a bag and a sleeping bag and took the bus down to the coffee house. I decided to dress nice, so I put on the navy skirt and a white blouse and some white knee socks. When I got there, I saw that the other girls had decided to dress up, too. Sort of. Everyone was from a different century. Judy was dressed like someone from the 1940's, Sylvia was wearing a dress from a Jane Austen movie, and Doris looked like someone from a Renaissance festival, with a long skirt and peasant blouse and lace-up bodice that showed off her breasts, only we were supposed to call it her "bosom." Her hair was by now over her shoulders and she tied it back with a thong. I was still thinking of her as a butch lesbian, but she sure didn't look like it now. More like a "wench." I told her that and she thought it was hysterical. The boys wore their usual bo-o-oring torn jeans and heavy metal T-shirts.

Sylvia, Doris, Judy, and I ended up squeezing together onto one of the ratty couches and got Jeff to bring us drinks. Nick and Jeff and us played musical couch for the rest of the evening, except that whoever didn't find a spot just kind of sprawled on top of the others. Nick insisted that we each sing a song, so Doris sang R-E-S-P-E-C-T, and Sylvia sang Material Girl, and I don't remember what Judy sang. I was last and didn't really want to get up in front of everybody, but they all insisted, so I sang Yesterday, except that I said "he" instead of "she" everywhere.

Around closing time, Sylvia's dad picked us up and dropped me and Doris off at her place. We got ready for bed. I was wearing the nightgown Teresa gave me, and Doris was wearing a long T-shirt. I started to unroll my sleeping bag, but Doris said it would be more comfortable on her bed, and there was room because it was a double bed. So I joined her. I'd hadn't shared a bed in I don't know how long and I didn't know how I was supposed to act.

"Do you mind if we snuggle?" she said. I was okay with it, so we hugged and held each other and she covered my face with little kisses. I wasn't surprised. I'd been kind of expecting something like this, since I knew she liked me and I knew she was a lesbian. But she was so nice to me and I felt so safe with her and I knew she wouldn't make me do anything I didn't want to. After a while, we were getting sleepy, so I turned over and she cuddled up to my back and put her hand on my breast. I put my hand on hers and then lifted it to my mouth and kissed it. Then I put it back on my breast and fell asleep.

Some time in the night, I got up to pee, and when I came back, Doris was awake. I lay down next to her and we started hugging and kissing and then stroking each other all over. She put her hand on my breast and started kind of playing with it. I put my hand on hers, too, but after a while, what she was doing started to turn me on and I couldn't think of anything but what she was doing to me. I was on my back and she was on her side and every now and then I would lift my head and kiss her because she seemed so wonderful. "I think I'm in love with you," I said. I don't know why, it seemed like it was just what I wanted to say.

She smiled and leaned over and kissed me. Then she moved her hand down under my nightgown and asked, "do you mind if I...?"

I whispered, "you don't have to ask. I'm sure I'll love whatever you do." It sounds a little stupid to say it now, but I was pretty far gone. She got a funny grin and gave me a long kiss on the mouth and then kind of sucked and kissed one of my nipples, which turned me on even more. She lifted my nightgown until she could reach my crotch and put her knee over one of my legs. She had one arm under my head and was kissing me on the face, over and over, while she gently stroked my crotch. I was really turned on, so I don't remember too many details, just her stroking me harder and harder, but never too much, and feeling her body pressed against mine and her kisses on my face, and then I was coming and trying not to be too loud and wake her parents. When it was over and I could notice anything, I noticed that Doris was on top of me, hugging me and kissing me and holding her legs on either side of mine. I stroked her back and noticed that her nightshirt had come up to her waist, so her butt was bare. I couldn't help giggling and rubbing her butt, it was just so cute, feeling her bare butt sticking out. I got this feeling that she was the most wonderful person in the whole world, so I gave her a big, tight hug and said, "I love you so much," and I nuzzled her cheek.

Then I asked her, "do you mind if I, you know, try to make you feel good? You did such a good job of making me feel good."

"I think the word you're looking for is 'masturbate,'" she replied.

"I dunno. That word sounds too scientific for what we've been doing. Like something that belongs in a chem lab or something. You know, 'mix the reagents in a beaker and masturbate for two and a half minutes.'"

Doris lost it completely.

She had to cover her mouth so she wouldn't wake up the whole house with her laughing. When she'd recovered enough to say anything, she said, "I almost peed myself! 'Masturbate for two and a--'." She fell over laughing again. Every time it looked like she'd gotten a grip, she'd say it again and crack up again. She finally gasped out, "where do you come up with these things?"

"I'm sorry, it was just what came into my head."

"Don't be sorry, there was nothing wrong with it, exactly. But it did sort of blow the mood."

"I'm sorry I blew the mood. You did such nice things to me, and now I won't be able to do it for you."

"That's okay, I wasn't ready for that, anyway. It takes me a while in a relationship before I can relax enough to let someone else make love to me." She looked at me carefully. "You don't mind me calling it 'making love'?"

"No, no, it's a beautiful word. Can I at least cuddle you and kiss you?"

She slid closer to me, and I put my arms around her and tried kissing her gently, the way she'd done to me. After a while, her eyes closed and her breathing slowed, so I figured she was asleep. I soon fell asleep, too.

In the morning, after breakfast, we went to Doris's church. It was a lot more laid back than Teresa's, and I think they were more liberal, too, because I saw what I thought were some gay and some lesbian couples. They had chairs instead of pews, and nobody dressed up. I was the most dressed up person there with my navy skirt and white blouse. The minister had nice pants and a short-sleeved shirt, and they had a guitar instead of an organ or piano. At the end, we all held hands in a circle and gave the people around us a hug and sometimes a kiss on the cheek.