A Sister 'til Christmas 2
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Hi, just suddenly realized how close this Christmas thing is a coming... Phew, I better get moving... I hope YOU like it...

***

'Listen to me baby
Listen to my plea
I'm in the middle of nowhere
And it's worrying me'

The next day was when the visits ended. For the cold lonely week after that, I waited for the bell to ring, I looked out the windows, playing with my hair, spying on my reflection. Sara knew what I was doing but she never said anything, she was ready to move on to something else, she wanted to go out to the town together, but I was ready to cry.

I was wishing I paid more attention, wishing I started to chat, held his hand, begged him to stay. I wanted to feel his jacket, smell his aftershave, rub his rough chin, but I didn't, I was too nervous, too shy. I let the silent tears fall down my cheeks but I wouldn't turn around and look at Sara, I wouldn't leave my reflection, I think my heart was broken.

I heard her get closer, felt her breath on my neck. "I'm goin' crazy we have to start going somewhere at night, c'mon don't you want to show off that dress, those heels? Don't you want to show off our boobs?"

I turned around, she was actually wearing a low-cut sweater, she was actually showing the tops of her small breasts. "I do, but um, you go, I'll stay home, I'll do the laundry tonight and you can visit Rachel again."

Rachel was a woman she met sometime over the summer in Historic, Smithville, four miles away from here. Sara was getting bored living in the middle of nowhere, but not me, I was still loving it, even though I was missing my mystery man. I would spend all morning exercising, organizing my new dresses, heels, makeup. I would get deliveries almost every other day. More outfits, brushes, nail polish remover. I finally had everything I needed, everything I wanted, life was almost perfect, and my room was finally a sixteen-year-old beauty queen's wet dream.

She let out a loud breath. "When you are Sam you are so easy, everything is about me, but as Sabrina, it is all about you. Shit, just come with me, I want to take you to Rachel's restaurant, I want to introduce you to everybody."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I'm ready to go out. I don't want to meet everybody."

"Ugh!" She was angry, the holidays weren't as much fun as she hoped. I felt I was becoming more like her, I was becoming introverted, I wanted to be alone. Now she was becoming more like me, well my other self. I was always looking for a loud party, a crowd, a new restaurant. I guess being surrounded by trees, in the middle of nowhere meant changes... for both of us.

She took the car keys, she slammed the front door, she was gone and I was back in my room, drinking something to keep me warm. I wanted to try something new with my eyes, my lips. I wanted to order more nightgowns and slips, I wanted to enjoy my femme life until Christmas. I wanted to forget Sara was disappointed with me, again.

Once she got to Ruffino's she must have felt better, I was sent pictures; The front of the restaurant with the Christmas lights, the inside with decorations and her new friends. I also got shots of her pasta, their drinks, their desserts. Now I felt bad for not going out, but I didn't think I could, I would be too uncomfortable. I knew I would have loved to of shown off how feminine I had become, how perfect my dress and body were, but I wasn't ready. I knew she would tell everyone about me, she would make me anxious, she would tell everyone about my Double-D breasts. I'm sure she was telling everyone about them right now.

Ding Dong.

*

It had been five long days, five days without a man, a rose. Now he was here, he was holding a red one this time, he was smiling at me while I played with the hem of another thin brownish lace dress, as I looked down at his knees.

"I was hoping you were going to come to my restaurant tonight, I couldn't wait to see you." He handed me the rose.

I lifted it to my lips again, I loved the feel of it on my sticky gloss, I loved the scent making its way to my senses. "Thank you." I didn't have the confidence to ask any more questions.

"I was talking to Sara and Rachel, they suggested that we have an early dinner together before the restaurant opens. It will just be us."

I was feeling myself get nervous again, the excitement inside of me slipped away. "Sara and Rachel?"

He smiled. "You have a beautiful voice."

"Do I?"

"Ha, you do." He started walking around me, looking at me, my legs, my dress. He put his hand on my arm. "Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow? It will be nice and quiet, I can pick you up at three?"

"They really suggested it?"

"Kind of, they wanted to have Rachel's husband join us, the five of us, maybe six, but I thought it would be better with the just us two. You can get used to going out." He smiled, he watched me smile back. "It will be nice having dinner with a beautiful woman."

I froze. He was now going to pick me up at three, I was too excited to chat or show him my collection of roses.

When he left, I wished I felt his rough cheek.

***

'I'm going to wear black." I was leaving my room, Sara was futzing, cleaning, and putting up more reindeer decorations in the kitchen, she wasn't paying attention to me, she was paying attention to Rudolph.

"Yeah, so."

I walked out and showed her my outfit. It was a three-quarter-sleeved sweater dress, tight, very tight, and very short. The hem came halfway between my knees and my panties, I left the vagina ones in my drawer. I was wearing expensive nude pantyhose, I was sliding on the tiles.

"For lunch at Ruffino's."

She stopped cleaning, she looked at me, "Wait you're going out to Ruffino's? Today?"

"Yes today at three, the man with the roses came over last night and invited me, he said it was your's and Rachel's idea."

"Ross came by last night, why didn't you tell me?"

I was now feeling defensive, I felt like she was getting annoyed again. "I was sleeping when you got home, plus I thought you knew."

"We talked about it, but I didn't know it was happening today. He didn't say he was coming over to the house last night when he was leaving." She huffed, went back to her decorations, I went back into my room. I closed the door, I would try not to talk about it until Ross came to pick me up.

I was looking in the mirror, putting on my lashes, "Ross?" I now had a name, a strong name, a name for a man. I finished my eyes, my mascara, my rose-colored shadow. "Hi, Ross, nice to see you again." I was practicing as I brushed and darkened my eyebrows, outline, and filled in my lips. More rose, more color. "Thank you I got them on sale. 70% off. Practically stole them, ha." I said as I slipped on my heels, four-inch pumps, and shiny silver.

"I know you will like my new color."

After he left last night I painted my toes a dark pink, darker than my lips, I sat and got ready to do my fingernails. Painting my nails would relax me, it took me so long but it was so worth it. First I took off the old color with cotton pads and Q-tips. Slowly I took off the top of the bottle with the brush. I always started on my thumb and worked my way around. I had a UV LED nail lamp and I let them dry, I watched, I loved this. Sara said it was silly and unneeded, but I just loved it. I enjoyed the way my hands rested on the vanity, glowed from the purple light, made my small hands look so feminine. The lamp was something only a woman would own.

When I was younger, living with my parents, when I was in high school, I wanted to paint my nails when I dressed, my toes, my fingers. I needed to do everything. I needed to have full makeup on, jewelry, a dress, stockings, and heels. I so needed to paint my nails. At night I would put on one of my mothers' old nightgowns, I would get under the covers, I would take out the red, the purple, the orange, and paint. Twenty nails all colorful all night, it made me so happy. One morning I awoke to a puddle of red glitter, the sheets, the pillow cases even the wood frame was slathered in glitter polish. It was hard to explain, it was harder to tell anyone. I was punished, had to stay home while everyone went out to the park, the mall, the City, wherever, it didn't matter. My mother now knew I was up to something, had a secret, a quirk. Crossdressing became much more difficult.

Now I had my own room with my own UV LED lamp, my own facial cleansing device, life was easier, better than when I was young with my family. When we came to the house in November, my wife had Jada, this olive-skinned, beautiful Spanish woman come over, she owned a shop in town, she put long gel nails on us, waxed us, turned us into sexier women. I was so embarrassed, I barely spoke, but I was quite excited about it and the outcome. She brought me the lamp, she picked so many polish colors, she made sure I had everything I needed. Jada now stopped by every couple of days, always with something for me, something she says I would love, and I did. I would let her do what she wanted, whatever she thought I needed. I wasn't embarrassed anymore, I was thinking maybe going out to lunch and starting quietly would be a good introduction for me, good for my stress level, good for both me and Sara.

I put on my longer wig again, hiding my own long strawberry-blonde hair. I put on big silver clip-on hoops next to my pierced ears, another avenue of femininity from Jada. I put on my Black Opium perfume, I filled my black pocketbook with more lipstick, nail polish, mascara, even an extra pair of stockings. I waited by the mirror, I waited for the bell.

When we first got married, Sara didn't like when I fixed my makeup by myself, she wanted to help, she wanted to supervise. I then had to let her apply it, work on my lashes, it was easier, I couldn't argue with her. She figured she was a 'real' woman she would show me, show me her tricks, her shortcuts. She would introduce me to her products, her colors, even her perfume but I already had my own, I was used to being a 'woman.' I had been wearing female clothing since I was ten, eleven, I had been used to putting on makeup and fixing my hair for years, probably even longer than Sara.

I didn't want to tell her that I hated her help, absolutely hated it. She was condescending, she was pushy, she told me she was always right. She would get annoyed if I told her something she didn't like, she would make me cry, she made me feel so ignorant and sad. This was supposed to be fun, something that we did together, something that I so desperately needed.

She told me I should be thanking her for letting me do this, letting me become feminine, letting me take over her weekends. Other wives wouldn't be so understanding.

I thanked her, I always did, I bought her little presents and I always cooked. I learned to make her favorite coffee drinks, I learned to use the grinder, the frother wand. Soon I took care of the entire house, took care of her. After she was done helping I would let her pick out an outfit that she would buy me, I would let her take pictures. Finally, she would get tired of her feminine husband and move on to something else. I then hid in my room, I would smile in my mirror, but then in bed, I would cry to myself. I was confused, I couldn't tell if she liked this side of me or not, I just couldn't figure her out. Then in the morning, I would check to make sure there was no nail polish on my bed and sheets or even my fingers.

Slowly I did what she showed me, learned as quickly as possible just to get her out of my mirror. Then I went back to my original ways, my original brands. Part of me knew she never forgave me. It annoyed her that I didn't use her soaps or shampoos, she hated that I smelled like a different woman. She also began to realize I didn't need her help, or want to imitate her style, I didn't want to look or act like her at all, I wanted to look and act like me.

I didn't want to be her sister I just wanted to be her friend.

*

"Sabrina, you have a visitor."

I heard the bell, I heard Sara, I didn't want to leave my mirror, she didn't sound as happy as she did before.

"Okay, be right out."

I realized Sara would see what looked like a date. A man was coming to pick me up and take me out, it screamed date. She would watch him take my hand, lead me outside, open the door for me, she would watch a man take me out on a date. I'm sure other husbands in dresses had men come over and take them out to dinner, I'm sure it was a thing, maybe not in Port Republic, but still, somewhere.

I stood, I stopped by the door, I took a deep breath, watching my hidden cleavage, my breasts move on my chest. Maybe it would have been easier if we all went out together, it wouldn't look so much like something romantic. I knew I never would have gone for that anyway, I never would have been able to sit with five other people, making small talk.

"Sabrina! Are you coming out?" And I heard her laugh.

I took another look in the mirror, my makeup looked so good, my hair was perfect and this dress was so tight it showed off my breasts, my thin corsetted waist, my long legs. I looked like a woman who should be dating already. What was the big deal? I was thirty. I'm sure men found me attractive, wanted to spend time with me, they used to when I was younger. On some level, Sara must realize that's where all of this was heading.

I opened the door, I walked in on the two of them talking. She made a face, she knew I was too feminine, too good at this, then suddenly everything around me stopped. Ross smiled at me, it was something I wasn't prepared for. He walked over, he took and kissed my hand, he gave me more roses. A dozen, a handful.

"Thank you."

My voice felt higher, lighter, I smiled as he watched my dark lips, he moved closer as I took the flowers. I could smell his aftershave.

"Ross?" I said his name, it gave me a chill. "Would you like to see my roses?" And he followed, I showed him, I showed him my ultra-feminine bedroom with my vanity, my collection of blush brushes, my UV lamp, and eye makeup palettes. The mirror on my closet door reflects us back, a man and a woman in her maroon and pink bedroom. A man and a woman getting ready to go on a romantic date. He watched as I slightly bent and put the roses in the water, the vase, fixing them, I had some baby's breath, I was making them look perfect. My long hair fell about my face, I laid one side over my ear exposing my hoop, I sniffed, he bent and sniffed with me, he laughed as he moved up. I was watching him, I liked that he did that, I liked he was so comfortable with me already.

"So what's the special today?"

I jumped. Sara was at the threshold of the door, she was leaning, I hoped she didn't see that little interaction.

"A couple of things, since it's so close to Christmas. I will have Sabrina bring you back something."

"Or I could just come." She had her hand on her hip, I wanted to leave, she was teasing me. "Ha, Sabrina almost had a heart attack, she doesn't like to be out looking more girlie than her sister." She laughed some more as I grabbed my bag and we headed for the car. Ross held my waist and he opened my door, he even held my hand helping me into the seat. If Sara was watching she would know that this was definitely a date.

*

The trip to Smithville was so fast, we barely heard a full song on his speakers, I barely said a word. Sara thought we were in the middle of nowhere but I knew we were just off the express ramp to everywhere.

"Here we go." He shut the car, he touched my wrist. "This is going to be nice, I hope you are hungry."

And I smiled, I took off my seat belt. He opened my door and even helped me out. It was feeling even more like a date. I looked up at the Christmas lights, they were all off, it was too light out, it didn't look as festive as the picture I had seen the night before.

I started to remember I was out in daylight, freakin' daylight. I was wearing a dress and smiling at passersby, I couldn't believe I could feel so comfortable so quickly. We said hello to people on the sidewalk, people he knew. Every one of them smiled, they weren't surprised we were on a date, they weren't surprised Ross was with a 'woman.' We walked closer to the white stucco building, he opened a large wooden door and I walked in, it was beautiful, it smelled of oregano and baking bread.

"Ahh, finally!" A woman was moving toward me, I froze, she put her hands on my arm, she asked me to spin. "Sabrina, let me see you. Just, beautiful, so glad you came."

"Hi."

"I'm Rachel, I know you have heard SO much about me." She winked, she giggled, she complimented my dress and nails. "Sara says you have the most perfect hands, and the most sexiest nails, and you do." And she took them from me, she held them to her own, our hands were the same size. My long dark pink nails were looking fantastic in the orange glow of the restaurant. I was thinking I was surprised Sara would compliment me, she rarely even mentioned anything I wore or did any more. I was surprised I would even come up in a positive conversation.

We intertwined our fingers as she pulled me more into the restaurant.

"Thank you, I'm a little obsessed with my nails."

"Feet too?"

"Of course." And I felt my eyes go wide, as I giggled, as I felt Ross' strong hand on the small of my back.

"She is not going to leave you alone until you show her."

So I did, I leaned on the bar and took off my size nine and a-half silver pumps, one at a time and I showed off my delicate toes in the nude pantyhose, I wiggled and the two of them approved.

Then she showed me hers.

*

We toured the rest of the restaurant. It was lovely, it was quite large. It had a big circular wooden bar right in front leading straight to the back, it had two dining rooms, and a small alcove to the side surrounded by fairy lights. There was a table all set, looking ready for a romantic date. Candles, two empty wine glasses, holly. I smiled at the pair of them, I wanted to tell them I was excited about this first date, the first one with a man in a long time. I wanted to tell them I was nervous but so looking forward to it, so looking forward to being myself... on a date.

"There are only two others here, the chef and Jake the kid that helps with the dishes. Would you like to meet them? Or is meeting Rachel too overwhelming like it is for the rest of us?"

"Ha, I'm sorry, my personality is too big for Smithville." She had her hands on my shoulders, I knew why Sara liked her so much, she was her opposite too, I felt completely comfortable.

"No please, I would love to meet everyone." I smiled, I bit my lip. I then realized others will be meeting my feminine self. Sara would be surprised, she would shake her head and be annoyed that I was being easy and not difficult. She didn't understand it wasn't me, it was her. I didn't want her catching me being too femme, too dainty, too anything. I could just relax and be myself. I started to solidify the theory in my mind that it was her presence that made me uncomfortable out in the world.

I met the two others as even more people walked in, more kitchen help. I didn't even mind as they showed me the appliances, the huge freezers, the wine cellar, or the restrooms.

I excused myself. I smiled, I was being cute, I was feeling confident. I went into my first ladies' room in years. I looked a little different in this mirror, younger with the soft lighting, happier surrounded by porcelain and dark tiles. I was ready for a first date, I was ready to tell a man about my life.

I wasn't ready for a phone call. "Hi."

"So, how're things going?"

"Um, good, good, I just finished the tour, it's so cute here." I giggled, I felt I was being too cute myself.

"Hmm, remember this is one of your Christmas presents."

"Oh? Okay, thank you?"

I didn't know why she would say that, it felt weird. Was she finally giving me a man of my own for Christmas? She used to always threaten to bring guys home with her to visit me, to watch movies, and share cappuccinos together. She told me she wanted to see me squirm, see how uncomfortable I got, how embarrassed I was as she brought up male body parts, ones so much bigger than mine.

"Another thing, I meant to tell you this yesterday, but, um, my mother called she wants to visit."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she wants to come on Christmas Day to Jersey, what is that like another week?"

"Mmm." I was wondering why she was telling me this, why I couldn't find out about the visit when I got home.

"Well, that's it. Are you sitting at the table looking at Ross right now, are you being rude?"

"Um, no, I'm in the ladies' room."

And she laughed, she laughed louder than I thought appropriate. "Ha, I can't believe I'm talking to my husband while he is hiding from his date in the little girls' room, you are too much." I let her laugh some more. I wanted to tell her I wasn't hiding, I wanted to tell her she shouldn't have called, I wanted to tell her I was going to kiss him goodnight so don't wait up for me.

I didn't, I said bye and hung up. She made that call to throw me off and it worked. I was wondering if her mother would be surprised to meet me in my red Christmas dress. I was wondering if Sara was going to make me change genders.

*

I forgot about Sara as Ross held my chair. We had red wine, we had dinner, we had dessert, and incredible conversation. I took pictures, I sent them, just like Sara did the night before. At first, I wasn't used to being by myself with a man, wearing my larger breasts, crossing my legs, and rubbing my thighs. At first, I thought I was nervous, I thought I was going to mess up, make mistakes, make a fool of myself. Then we talked some more. He made me laugh, he liked my earrings, I told him I liked his aftershave. We talked about weather and traffic then things that we loved, liked music and traveling. We went back and forth, and then we laughed some more, we were both becoming more comfortable, and silly, we were adults, and we could talk like them. We were both on a first date.

"I apologize for showing up unannounced last night."

"Oh, no that was fine. I was very happy you did." And I bit my lip, moved my shoulders.

"Rachel said Sara was a little miffed with me. The two of them have become buddies. They can be busy together, it leaves more time for us to do this again."

"Will we do this again?"

"Um, yes, well, if you want, it is up to you." And he held his wine glass closer to mine, "Cheers."

"Cheers."

It was getting closer to six, closer to the opening of the restaurant and more people were trickling in. I didn't mind, I liked people coming by saying hello to Ross, and him introducing me. We were hidden in this little alcove, but I smiled as everyone passed. I think I was beckoning them in with my perfume and demeanor.

"Warren, Veronica, this is Sabrina, she just moved to Port Republic, right next to the park." And he would take my hand, his wife would say she loved my silver heels, their kids would wait impatiently to sit and eat. I acted like someone meeting someone else, it was so much easier than I thought it would be.

"So Sara says you are visiting until Christmas."

I love that he was so interested, his eyes were totally focused on mine. Blue with long dark lashes, his, dark brown, dark eyebrows, his look made me feel so warm. "Mmm, that was the plan. She called me before and told me her mother was coming that day, so now I don't know." I shrugged, I was still enjoying myself.

"Her mother? Not your mother too?"

I looked at him, I was confused. Wait... Did he know who I was? Didn't Sara tell him? "Um, no just hers."

"Oh, she told us you two were sisters." He took my hand again. "Well, she told Rachel and me about you, said she called you her sister."

"Oh, no I'm actually her..." I looked around, I felt tiny, I started to blush. I whispered, "I'm her husband, I'm sorry."

"Oh? okay, ha, good to know." And he squeezed my hand, he didn't seem that bothered by this new information. He must have known I was a crossdresser, transgender, or even genderfluid that is how Sara always wanted to introduce me to the world. I guess I was finally meeting it... the world.

"I'm genderfluid. But I have been living as a female full-time since Thanksgiving." I felt I needed to say that, needed to inform him about the full-time situation. And then I told him even more, told him about the new house, the plan for December, and then we finally moved on to something else, we talked about his car, his other restaurants, his wife, his divorce.

"She moved to Western PA, we sold the restaurant we owned together in Philly, I don't even know what she is doing now."

"How long have you been divorced?"

"Two years. I have been living in Smithville, right next door to Rachel and her husband for two whole years, and this is my first date."

*

Rachel made us sit at the bar with her. She was the bartender and she didn't want us to leave, she made Ross promise to keep me here a little while longer while she asked all types of questions. While she served drinks to others, keeping me in the conversational loop.

"Sara doesn't really tell us too much, coffee drinkers don't open up, unlike us." She made us something dark, rimmed with candied cinnamon, we clinked glasses. "Where are you from?"

"Middle Village, Queens. I was blessed with a New York accent, my friends love hearing me say the words water and coffee." I smiled, took a sip, "My coffee tastes like hot water. Ha."

I felt Ross move into me slightly squeezing my body."Mmm, I think we love it too." And they both laughed along with a couple of other people at the bar. "Well, me and Rachel are from Philly and I don't detect an accent at all. You could be from around the corner." I turned to look at him, I spun on the chair with his arm still hovering around me, part of me wanted to kiss him, right here at the bar, right in front of Rachel. In bed, I will imagine that is exactly what I did, in bed I will imagine I was a more assertive, proactive 'woman.'

Thank god, Rachel distracted me. "How long have you been married?"

I squished my lips, thinking, I looked to the ceiling, "Mmm, four years."

"Me, six." She then reached out and ran her fingers through my hair. "You are so beautiful, is that your hair?"

"No, my hair is redder than this, I wish this was my hair."

"Me too," She shook her head, her ponytail, she smiled as she took hold of it. "I have six different ponies at home. Ha. And I don't have to feed any of them. Ha. Only the cats."

"Ha..."

Ross now had his hand on my waist, my arm, even my hands, I felt so comfortable with him. He whispered in my ear, I felt him against the silver hoop. "I'm going to get something together for Sara, I'll have Jake deliver it. I will be right back." I watched him walk away.

When he turned into the kitchen, I missed him. I liked people knowing we were together, it was comforting. I was hoping the others at the bar assumed it was Ross and I that have been married for the last four years, it was exciting. I decided in my head I was going to play the quiet wife out with her popular husband, meeting his friends. I knew I could fall into that role seamlessly.

If I was out with Sara she would be on her phone, talking to someone at work, or talking to her sisters or mother. She would ask for hot coffee, she would be annoyed watching the bartender put the cup in the microwave, she would go back to her phone and sulk that we weren't at a coffee shop or a Bed, Bath & Beyond. But I liked a busy restaurant, a happening bar, usually I just hung with the bartender like I was doing now, but this was different, now I was part of a happy couple.

"Hey, Rach." A man walked in, he handed his coat to her, and sat in Ross's spot. "A dark beer please."

"You are in the boss's seat, ya know." And she smiled as she went to get his drink.

"Really, I can tell it's the best seat in the house," And then he looked at me, he smiled, his gaze went down to my breasts.

Rachel cleared her throat as she put down his stout, "Um, enjoying the view?"

He spun, a little embarrassed, I was being quiet I wasn't used to being looked at like that, I wasn't used to even more men surrounding me. I noticed even those that walked in or sat at the other end of the bar were watching me, I would catch their eyes, I would see them looking at me, my eyes, hair, then breasts. I was enjoying the attention, I was assuming they all found me attractive as I found them.

The man grabbed her hands, "I am," He then pulled her closer to him and they kissed.

"Sabrina this is Michael, my husband of six with the roaming eyes."

"Hi," I took his hand.

"Sabrina? Finally, we meet, I have heard so much about you."

I was just about to ask what, but Ross walked behind me, put his arm once again around my waist, joined the conversation. We talked for another hour. I was having a perfectly lovely time.

*

End of Part 2

*

The author at her desk hardly working...