The Joiners pt 19.

by
Angharad

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"What's the matter with misery guts?" asked Tara as she came down from changing out of her school uniform?

"We had an inferred difference of opinion," replied Penny.

"Oh," it didn't really surprise her as there was only the two of them in the house until she came home.

"Did you win?" asked Penny of Tara's netball match.

"Natch, though I think one or two of theirs were Russian shot-putters, they had hairier legs than that Ronaldo guy, an' he's Portugese, in he?"

"Isn't he," corrected Penny.

"I dunno, I was asking you," said Tara oblivious to the crossed wires that just happened.

Penny shook her head in despair.

"Woss for tea?" Tara asked her.

"Salmon fillets with new potatoes, whole green beans, baby carrots and watercress sauce."

"Oh, okay, wan' me t' get droopy drawers?"

"You could inform your sister that tea will be ready in a few minutes. Ah, there's your dad," Penny said as they both heard the car pull into the drive and stop in front of the garage. The up-and-over garage door was hardly ever used as Rob had some of his model railway layout stored in there, some of which was quite valuable and priceless in the hours he'd spent building it much of it from scratch to his own designs. He enjoyed that, at least they ended up exactly as he'd planned unlike real buildings, some of which do not respond well to builders interpretation of the plans.

He greeted Penny and told her the food smelt good and to give him two minutes to wash his hands and change out of his suit. He always felt better after getting out of his working clothes, even though they were comfortable, it was the act of dissociating himself from work that made him shed the stress with them.

As he passed Carrie's room he heard voices, tapped on the door and poked his head around it. "Hi kiddos," he called gently.

"Dad," responded Tara while Carrie remained silent. That was unusual, so he went in."

"You okay, kiddiwink?" he asked looking directly at Carrie.

"Yeah, s'pose so."

"Go and tell your mum we'll be down in a couple of minutes," he said directly to Tara, who knew she was dismissed.

"You've been crying, care to tell me about it?" he said sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Oh it was just Mummy and me having a bit of an argument."

"About what?"

"I was asked to go to the cinema with some of the kids from school."

"Were there individuals of the male persuasion amongst these kids?"

"Might be." Carrie avoided eye-contact.

"And was that the basis of the disagreement?"

Carrie felt her eyes fill with tears which slowly erupted down her cheeks. She nodded and Rob pulled her to him. "So your mother said no, did she?"

Carrie sat on his lap blubbing before finally managing to control herself and say, "We didn't get that far, as soon as she knew there were boys going she just got really heavy."

"She's trying to protect you, kiddo, you do have a few complications and very little experience of dealing with boys, or at least doing so as a girl. It's different for girls."

"You're not kidding there," she responded drying her eyes and wiping her nose on the tissue she had in the pocket of her jeans. "But remember I was a boy for fourteen years, so I know how they think."

"Do you, or did you think you lived as one for fourteen years, because I think the evidence isn't exactly in your favour, is it?"

"Oh so it's my fault now is it?"

"It's nobody's fault, sweetheart, it just is and we have to try and sort it out as we can so that you can have as normal a life as is possible."

"Doesn't that mean interacting with boys?"

"Okay, let me get changed and we'll go down and face the ogress together, there may be safety in numbers. Or while she's eating me you can make a run for it." Carrie blew her nose and laughed - which can get a bit messy, so Rob left her to clean herself up while he went and changed.

"So what's his name?" asked Tara as the discussion about her going to the cinema was floated over the dishes. Carrie blushed and looked away, "Ho, so there is a boy you like," Tara was verging on exultant.

"Come on, Tar, give your sister some space," said Rob, always the voice of calm and sensibleness.

"But she teased me about boys I liked." Tara gave a perfect pout and Carrie felt very guilty about past sins.

"That was different, you were both role playing siblings not sisters. Sisters are supposed to be supportive of each other." Penny was trying to calm things down too, perhaps she should just have allowed Carrie to go out with this boy and sink or swim, except, and it was a big exception, if it got out that Carrie had an unusual anatomy in her knickers it could be round the school in seconds and she would be destroyed by the process.

On the other hand keeping her away from boys would prevent her learning how to deal with them, which would mean she'd have to learn later or possibly never and that may stop her having a normal life. Did this wanting to meet up with a boy mean she was heterosexual or was she just exploring? If she was a hetero female what of all the time she spent with Colm before, when they went off on their bikes much of the day? How did that fit in with who she is now, or was it simply a tomboy part of her life, which some girls have and grow out of when their hormones start flowing but were Carrie's hormones flowing yet? Penny doubted it and wondered if much of Carrie's behaviour was imitating Tara and other girls she knew. She knew raising children was difficult, she hadn't realised how much harder it was when one of the children was different.

"If we let you go to the cinema, who else is going?" asked Penny.

"Jane and another boy," Carrie said quietly, hoping that Tara wouldn't start teasing again.

"Okay you can go, but I want to see what you plan to wear and be very careful that he doesn't take any liberties." Penny decided that it was better to allow some risk taking and hope that Carrie was capable of it. She suspected she was but it yet to be proven.

Carrie's mood immediately improved and she eventually slipped away from the table to send a text to say she could go to the cinema. As she was texting, Tara crept up beside her and snatched her phone, "Oh, it's Mark is it? What's he like?"

"Gimme that back," Carrie snatched her phone back but it fell to the ground and the screen cracked. "Now look what you've done," she accused her sister loudly.

"What's going on?" asked Rob obviously having heard the fracas in the hall.

"Tara grabbed my phone and dropped it and the screen is cracked."

"I didn't drop it you grabbed it and it fell."

"You shouldn't have snatched it from me in the first place," Carrie was very angry and also close to tears. She didn't know how to express what she was feeling as a girl and the extra confusion made her want to run away and cry, but if she let Tara win, she run roughshod over her next time as well.

"Did you take her phone?" Rob asked his elder daughter.

"It was only a joke, Daddy."

"There's a place in town repairs cracked screens for most popular makes, look it up online and see what they charge," he said to Carrie having examined the phone, which still worked but the screen image was distorted and he knew that would cause Carrie some problems later. "Get a proper case for it, too," he added. had it been in a case it may well have survived the fall.

"Um, who's going to pay for it, Daddy?" asked Carrie.

"Muggins, I expect," he said meaning himself. "But I want to know roughly how much before I hand over any cash."

"Thank you, Daddy," Carrie hugged her dad and wrapped him round her little fingers. Rob knew he'd been had but he also knew Tara couldn't afford to pay for it, and he could have claimed on the house insurance but usually the way that worked was that you paid for it in the long run with increased premiums and excesses so it was cheaper to pay in the first place and save the insurance for bigger things.

After he left the two girls, Tara apologised to her sister and they talked about the boys they were looking to date, or in Tara's case, already doing so. "So he's got blondish hair and blue eyes?" confirmed Tara.

"And the most amazing eyelashes, they're quite long for a boy and have golden tips to them." Carrie was evidently fond of this boy, or thought she was.

"Sounds a real prince charming, so just remember, Cinderella don't let him near your balls."

"What?" squeaked Carrie, "I haven't got any."

"I was being metaphorical, droopy drawers, just keep him out of them."

"Why is everyone obsessed with what's in my knickers?" Carrie was beyond irritated now.

"Because he's a boy and that's how they operate, and seeing as there's a surprise in your panties, if you don't want him to get the wrong idea, don't let him find out. He won't hear you say that you're XX chromosomes, he'll just think it's a dick and whack you one thinking you set out to fool him."

"Why does this always happen to me?" sobbed Carrie and Tara gave her a hug .

Carrie slept fitfully that night, the conversation with Tara had reminded her of the things she was desperately trying to forget. She really liked this Mark boy although she wasn't sure what to do when they did go to the cinema. In part she hoped her body would know and react to what Mark was doing, but if he went too far, it could all go balls up, but she didn't have any of those just what looked like a penis, but wasn't. She could copy Jane, but she might do something Carrie didn't like or hadn't got to, why does everything new have to have questions or risks attached? She supposed that was what made it new and without new things life would be a bit repetitive and boring.

When she thought about Mark, she got a funny sensation up inside her which was nice funny and which she'd never had about anyone else and she began to think that she really did fancy him. If this had happened a month or two ago, she'd have thought she was gay, but the doctors had reassured her that she was female but that her bits were a mess.

She was also trying to work out how she could avoid stray hands going to forbidden places and she wondered about using a sanitary towel to hide any anomalies plus she could say she was on and that would almost guarantee no hands anywhere near her awkward bits. Yes, that was what she'd do and having resolved part of her problem she eventually managed to sleep.

She woke bleary eyed and tired, when Penny saw her she told her to have a lie in. She told her mother what she'd planned to do to disguise her anomaly. Her mother nodded and asked how long she'd lain awake thinking about it.

Carrie yawned and said, "Too long."

"Okay, it's eight o'clock now, I'll give you a shout at ten when I want you to get up. We'll discuss what you're going to wear when you've had breakfast, and how you're going to do your hair and makeup."

"I'm only going out with some school friends, Mummy, not a garden party at Buckingham Palace or even doing a gig somewhere."

"No daughter of mine is going out looking like a hobo or a trollop. So we'll plan what you're wearing, but have a little snooze now and I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay," yawned Carrie and off she went back to sleep with great ease.

At ten, Penny awoke her and she went downstairs in her night dress and chomped her way through two slices of toast with scrambled eggs on top. Then she looked at her phone beside her plate. It had a lovely cover with butterflies and flowers on it and when she opened it, the screen was no longer cracked.

Tara came in and took off her coat. "Thanks for getting my phone sorted," she said to her sister.

"Nothing to do with me," she said and went off in search of a cup of tea.

"Where's Daddy," she asked of Penny.

"Out in the garage I think playing with his train set," replied Penny knowing full well that Rob would go bananas if he heard her describe his model making as a train set. "Why?"

"My phone is fixed, so he must have done it, I need to thank him."

"If he had then you would, as it happens, he didn't."

"So if he didn't do it, and Tara didn't do it, who did?"

"Just think about it and I'm sure you'll be able to work it out."

"But that only leaves you, Mummy and you were here earlier and now, so it couldn't be you, could it."

"Couldn't it? You were asleep for two hours, a lot can happen in two hours. Or perhaps not." Penny took the dirty plate and cutlery and placed them in the bowl of soapy water in the sink.

Carrie wasn't quite sure what to think, but if her dad didn't do it and Tara didn't, either she'd dreamt it was broken and didn't have a cover, or her mother must have done it. She wrapped her arms around Penny from behind and rested her head on her mother's back and squeezed gently. "Thank you for getting my phone fixed and choosing such a nice cover. I love it."

"Good, and you're welcome, I got some more of that nice bread and some rolls while I was in town, so we'll have some cheese and tomatoes with it for lunch."

"Sounds nice, Mummy."

"Right go and do your homework, I want it finished before you go out tonight."

"Okay, Mummy, should I have a shower?"

"No leave it until this afternoon, and it'll look nicer for when you go out, Tara said she'd do your hair for you."

"Thank you, Mummy. You're the best," said Carrie as she trotted up to her bedroom while Penny muttered, 'It's funny you only remember that when you want something.'