Today was the first day back at lessons, and I was glad. I wasn't particularly pleased that I had to work, but it got away from the noise of the builders. Saturday and Sunday, they had spent the time preparing for the work, but today they started in earnest. Mr Hobson had described the work as 'alterations', but it appeared to be an extension to the sleeping area.

As we were finishing our morning ride, we came back to find the workers hard at it, digging up the area for foundations. I didn't pay much attention till Andy suddenly yelled at the top of his considerable voice, "June, what are you doing here?"

June stopped her digger, jumped over the barrier and was giving Andy and Stacy huge hugs. It looked like they were long lost friends.

"David, Helen, come here," called Stacy.

I was a bit surprised, but when asked to do something by the head girl, you did it.

"June, I'd like you to meet David and Helen," Stacy said introducing us. "June was head girl and Beta One last year."

"Ah, so you're David and Helen," June said with a warm smile. "I hear that you are causing all sorts of a ruckus."

"So if that was your position last year, what are you doing driving a mechanical digger?" I asked, knowing that if she was Beta One that her career path would be like mine.

"I'm on loan for a few weeks," June said, smiling at my direct approach. "The school is employing a team of people who know how to keep their mouths shut. Some are ex students while others are part of the schools standard builders."

"So how big is the extension you're adding?" asked Helen.

"It should double the number of bedrooms."

"Double?!" I said in shock. "But there is a whole floor of them not currently used."

"I'm not to wonder why, but to build," June replied with a smile. She obviously knew something and wasn't saying.

"Sorry, but I need a shower before breakfast," said Helen grabbing me before I could ask June questions she wouldn't answer. "It was nice meeting you."

"I don't think it will be the last time," said June, as Helen and I went to get ready, leaving Stacy and Andy to catch up with their friend.

There was no orchestra practice till Wednesday, but lessons were back to normal. We covered a lot of material in the lesson time and were given homework to read around the subject. It was in the afternoon that things were different. At the end of maths, we were told that we were progressing very quickly with the syllabus. If she thought we were ready, we would take the exam in November.

"What did you think of that?" asked Paula, when we later settled to relax in the common room. There was no need to ask what she was talking about. The exam announcement had been playing on all our minds ever since we were told.

"I know we are covering a lot of stuff in the lessons, but I never thought we would take it that soon."

That led to a discussion about when we thought we might take our first exams. If we took the maths exam in November, it would be over two years early.

"You seem quiet about it?" I said to Jessica, who hadn't really said anything.

"I'm surprised it is so early, not that we are taking them early," she said. "Don't forget that I got feedback that Wendy took exams early, so it wasn't a shock like it was for you."

"Yeah, and we were also warned in the introduction," reminded Helen.

"So what do we do?" moaned Emma. "I hate exams."

"You'll do what we all will do," I said. "Learn hard in the class, study hard and pray that the exam isn't too complex. I doubt that they would be entering us this early if they didn't think we could do it."

"Do you think we'll be doing other exams?" asked Emma.

"I wouldn't be surprised," I answered. "Why don't we ask Keith when we eat? Talking about food, shall we go through?"

We all got up and made our way to the dinning room. Tonight was the last day of our punishment and tomorrow someone else would be fetching the food. When the bell rang, Helen and I dutifully fetched the food.

"Keith," I said, as we ate. "We've been told today that we will probably be taking the maths exam in November. Do you know if we'll be taking any other exams then?"

"It wouldn't be unusual, but things are very busy with the second trip. It depends when the trip is and if it conflicts with the exams. I know they want to fit in the French exam, which is in the middle of January."

I felt like asking if there was an estimated date for the trip, but I knew it wasn't something that we would be told. Thankfully, nobody else asked. Perhaps they understood that academic things were okay to query, but the way the school ran was something different.

After ten that night, Helen and I were sat on the settee in my bedroom. We were both dressed ready for bed, so we didn't have the hassle of getting ready if things went on too late. We'd finished our homework and started to chat about the day. It was during this peaceful time, when we were cuddled together, that Helen suddenly dropped her bombshell.

"Before the trip to Paris, you and Jessica took lessons to help you pass as a girl. What were they like?"

"They were okay. They were nothing special, just lessons. Why?"

"Do you think they do lessons to help people pass better as male?"

"I suppose so," I said cautiously. If this was for me then that would be nice. Would it be so good if it was for Helen? Did she want to be a boy? "Is this for me or for you?"

"Both," she replied, pulling me closer to her. Her arms were wrapped round my body and as she tightened her grip, there was no way to break free.

"Do you want to be a boy?" I asked, trying to not let my voice break.

"Hush," she said kissing my cheek. "Of course I don't want to be a boy."

"So why do you want those lessons?"

"Well, I don't know how to act as a boy and I think it would help. Look how all the higher years can do it."

"You just want to be able to skip the queues."

Helen laughed. "Well that's not a bad reason, is it?"

"I think it would be beneficial to us on the Beta team. Hide as one sex and portray ourselves as another."

"You think?"

"Well look how effective Stacy and Andy are at it. Andy is always passable as male, but was able to switch when needed to the opposite sex. Don't you think that would be good?"

"Perhaps," I replied. "We have an appointment with Rachel tomorrow at eleven. Why don't we discuss it with her then? We won't be able to do this without her blessing."

"That's true," she said giving me another kiss.

I didn't sleep well that night. Every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing Helen trying to be a boy on Mix-up Monday. I still couldn't see her as a boy, just a girl in boy's clothes. She said she didn't want to be a boy, but was that really the case? How important were the clothes to our relationship? I thought Helen only really loved me as Jayne, but the last few days she has shown as much love to me as David as when I was Jayne. Will that last? Perhaps she loved me as a person, or would she have recommended that I try to have boy lessons. Did I need boy lessons?

Tears started to leak out of my eyes as I tried to review my life. How, over the last few years I had to run away from everyone. How I had to exclude myself from the only person that truly cared, Helen. Oh sure, there were others that Helen was friends with that were kind, but looking back, Helen was the one that was always there for me.

I used to get ridiculed because I played an instrument. I didn't follow football and that was just another nail in my coffin. I didn't like sports and liked classical music, but did that make me a girl? No, I don't think so. So why did everyone think I acted like a girl?

I had no answer to that question, but the sleeping girl next to me had thought the same as the others. Did it matter?

"Are you okay?" asked Helen snuggling up.

"I'm fine," I said, trying to sound normal.

"I thought I'd heard you crying."

"I'm fine," I repeated, not confirming or denying that I'd been crying.

"I love you," said Helen. "I love you as David and as Jayne.

"Would you love me if I decided to stay as David for ever?"

"Yes," came the firm answer.

"What if I decided to become Jayne?"

"Of course I'd still love you. I love you for you. I'm ashamed to only realise that since Saturday. I dreaded you stopping being Jayne, but apart from the clothes, you are still the same kind and wonderful person."

"Do you mean that I still act like Jayne?"

Helen didn't say anything for a bit, but eventually she said reluctantly, "A little."

"A little?"

"Okay, you've always acted like Jayne. It was nice to see you dressed like Jayne at first, as it seemed to fit you better. However, as I've gotten to know you better, I've seen beyond the clothes. I know it's very quick, but I've known you for a few years. You've always just been you."

"So what'll happen when I look like David and act like a male?"

"You'll still be the same person," she said. "It won't change who you are inside, just the way you portray yourself. It'll give you the chance to function as David or Jayne."

"I suppose I never did well at being David at school," I acknowledged, my voice sounding hurt.

"You were a wonderful person, just as you are now. Do you think they would have offered you a chance at being on the Beta team if you weren't a nice person?"

"I suppose," I said, cheering up a bit.

It took a while for us to talk about the impact of our request, which I suppose we should have done earlier. By the time that we both settled for sleep, it was very late. I changed the alarm so that we wouldn't get up for a bike ride. There was no sleep-in though, as the sound of pneumatic drills filtered through the window.

"What time is it?" groaned Helen.

"Seven," I replied peering at the time through bleary eyes.

"I feel like I've only had a few hours sleep."

"We have only had a few hours sleep," I replied, trying not to smile. Helen didn't like having so little sleep.

The shower didn't help much and we rushed towards breakfast, having had no time to meet with the others in the common room.

"Since you didn't have to get the food, you thought you'd turn up late," teased Brian.

I was tempted to stick out my tongue, but thought better of it. Instead I went to where the cereals were and grabbed a large mug of coffee along with a bowl of cornflakes. I'd never been one for coffee or tea, but I thought it might help wake me up.

"That sounds like a great idea," said Helen, who was having a cooked breakfast and went off to get herself a mug.

"Can you wait till eleven?" asked Rachel.

"Oh yes, there isn't an emergency."

"You both look shattered," said Jill.

"We didn't get to sleep till late. We were up late talking about things."

"And?"

"We're fine, just tired. The chat we had helped."

After breakfast, as we made our way to our languages lesson, Stacy caught up with us. "Are you okay?"

"We're fine, just tired," said Helen. This was getting old, but it was nice that people cared. "How did you know?"

"I got a message from Rachel asking if I'd kept you up. Since I hadn't, I presume that you'd either been up all night, making mad passionate love, or that it was something you'd discussed till late in the night."

"Which do you think?" I asked sarcastically.

"The lack of a silly smile makes me think it wasn't the mad passionate love," she laughed. "Since you aren't with Rachel now, I take it things were sorted?"

"It took a while," Helen and I said together.

"Well, if you want a chat with another student, then you know where I am," she said. "You better rush or you'll be late."

We hurried and caught up with the others as we went into the classroom. I normally sat next to Helen, but today Jill grabbed me and dragged me into the seat next to hers. Helen ended up next to Anna.

"Huh?"

"We thought that it would help you stay awake, if somebody who wasn't so tired sat next to you."

"Thanks."

"I hear that you all did very well in France. It gave me time off to relax while you were gone. Now due to the change in arrangements, we will soon be starting to learn two languages; one in depth and one just so you have the basics. The language experts in each year will be expected to learn them both and surrounding cultures in more depth. Any questions?"

"We have a maths exam in November," said Helen. "Do we have a French one?"

"Yes you will. There will be two forty-minute exams. The first will be a listening exam and the second will be a reading exam. The exam is supposed to be on the seventeenth of January, but Mr Hobson is talking to the exam board about having the school able to sit the exam outside normal examination periods."

"Would we be ready to sit such an exam?"

"We wouldn't be entering you if we didn't think you were capable. You studied very hard and your French is more than adequate for the exam. Even your French writing, which is the weakest of your skills, will be good enough. Before the trip, you each provided me with work you did on your own. That was two pieces of coursework. Tomorrow you'll do another piece of coursework, but that must be done in the classroom."

"Tomorrow?" asked Anna.

"Well, I don't think it would be a good idea for you to do it today. I want you all to be in top condition."

"Thank you," I said at the same time as Helen.

"Today, I'm going to give you each a card with a topic. You'll have five minutes to think about it and then each of you will be asked to act out the situation as a role-play. I don't expect it to last more than a minute or two."

The cards were handed out, face down. When we were told, we looked at them and formulated what we were going to say. I'm not sure how well I did, as I felt tired.

After we had all played it out, we were told, "Well done, that is one of the situations in the Speaking exam. If that had been a real exam, you would have all got top marks."

"Is that all there is to it?"

"No, you also have to do a presentation for a few minutes and then answer questions on it. Lastly you have to discuss two topics for about six to eight minutes. We shall practice this more in future lessons."

"It doesn't sound too bad, does it?" said Anna as we made our way to our next lesson.

"No, I suppose it isn't," Sam agreed. "That role-play wasn't too bad. I suppose speaking French for a few weeks helped us."

An hour of English literature passed quickly and I was soon making my way, with Helen, to see Rachel. She was waiting for us and we were ushered to the plush maroon leather settee.

"So, did you fall asleep in lessons?" asked Rachel as she gathered up two files.

"No," we replied together and then I blushed.

"I take it you are the psychiatrist for Andy, Ingrid and Fran as well as Stacy, Helen and me?"

Rachel smiled a bit at that. "Yes, I am. I don't know the exact details of what you do, but I know enough to be able to provide counselling if required. Don't forget it was me who told you on your first night the basis of your future career. I'm the only psychiatrist that knows these details. If you told the others it would be a breach of security, even though they would keep the details to themselves."

"None of the other psychiatrists know?"

"They probably suspect something else happens, like I'm sure a lot of the students do, but they know better than to ask or try to find out. However, this isn't why you were up late talking, is it?"

Helen nudged me to explain. There was no way I was going to explain her plan. I thought it was a good idea for me to learn how to be a male better, but her idea of it being good for the Beta team was her crazy idea.

"I'll let Helen explain," I said, sitting back.

Helen glared at me and stuck out her tongue. Rachel just waited for us to sort ourselves out.

"I'll explain then," sighed Helen. "Basically, Jayne and Jessica did a course on how to portray themselves better as girls. I was wondering, do you do a course for people to portray themselves better as boys?"

"Why would you want to do that? Do you want to be male, or live as male?" asked Rachel, not answering Helen's question.

"No," said Helen.

"Are you sure?" quickly retorted Rachel, leaning closer to Helen. "Not many girls would go to all that trouble."

"No, I don’t want to be a boy," said Helen, caught off guard by Rachel's attack.

"Are you sure? You have a lot of male attributes. You seem to like David as a girl. I think you want to be the man and have David as the woman."

I opened my mouth to protest but was silenced by Rachel's glare. Why was Rachel being like this to Helen? It was as if she was deliberately goading her.

"Well Helen?" prodded Rachel, as Helen sat there, her mouth tightly gripped.

"Well what?" asked Helen crossly.

"Why didn't you tell me before you wanted to be a boy?"

Again I was about to protest but there was that glare again. Sod the glare. "I think-"

"I don't want to be a boy," shouted Helen, angrily. "I was asking for David to go on the course, so he can learn how to be a boy properly. I wanted to go on it myself, so that I can understand both sides better. It would also help me on mix-up Mondays."

"Nicely put," smiled Rachel as she sat back. "Are there any other reasons?"

"It might make things easier for extracurricular activities."

"Extracurricular activities?"

"At the concert on Sunday there was hardly a queue for the men's toilets, but the queue to the ladies was out of the door," I said, upset how Rachel had treated Helen. "Also Stacy might like the idea."

"Stacy had already talked to me about you two having male lessons," revealed Rachel. "I told her that it would wait till you two were ready and approached me on your own accord."

"Why did you treat Helen like you did?" I said angrily. "That wasn't nice."

"No it wasn't," acknowledged Rachel.

That confused me. One minute Rachel was being really nasty to Helen, the next she was back to her normal self.

"I applied a bit of pressure on you to see how you would react," explained Rachel to Helen. "You got upset, but didn't lose focus on what you set out to achieve. You didn't totally lose control of your emotions, but you did come close. Most importantly you didn't reveal anything you weren't supposed to."

"It was a test?" I asked, still feeling angry.

"To see if you needed help with other things. You have got to remember there are times to help and times to wait and see how things develop. Helen was in no danger, and I was only taunting her. Save the heroics for when they are needed."

"Yes miss," I replied feeling slightly told off.

"Hey, don't take it like that. I'm just offering you advice; if you take it or not is up to you. You both are doing very well, but you are younger than any other person has been in the roles you have. I'm just trying to bring you on a bit."

"So, can we have these lessons?" Helen asked again.

Rachel again ignored the question and asked Helen, "You seem to be getting on very well with David. A lot better than you thought you would. Is that true?"

"Yes," Helen slowly replied, trying to work out what Rachel was trying to achieve.

"There aren't any hidden traps," reassured Rachel. "This is just a chat to make sure that the situation is clear. Before David got trapped as Jayne, you said that you thought that David acted like a girl. True?"

"Yes," hesitantly replied Helen, giving me a quick glance.

"Great, now since the trip to Paris, would you say that David acts more like a girl than before, or more like a boy?"

I closed my eyes when Rachel finished asking the question. I didn't want to hear the answer, but I knew I had no choice. Why is it so important if I act like a girl or a boy? Won't the male lessons help me sort things out?

"I don't know," said Helen, trying to avoid answering the question.

"Helen, I can't help you and David if you both aren't truthful to yourselves and to me. You know how you feel, don't you."

"Okay, David acts more like a girl than he did before Paris," admitted Helen. "He's no different from Jayne in the way he acts."

"And you love him as much as you loved Jayne?"

"Yes."

"Then if he became more male, and less like Jayne, would you find it harder to love him?"

"No...yes...oh I don't know," said Helen near tears. "I just don't know. I hope I love him just as much."

Helen stopped and I pulled her into my arms. All my worst fears had been realised. I might have been dressed as David, but I was just Jayne in male clothes. I was a fake man.

"I want David to be happy," said Helen. "He wants to be more like David. It wouldn't be fair on him if I didn't try to help."

"David, would you like to be more masculine?"

"Am I really just like Jayne, but in boy clothes?"

"Do you feel different?" asked Rachel, again avoiding answering questions.

"I feel like me. I think I feel different, but Helen doesn't think I am."

"It doesn't matter what Helen thinks. If you feel you are different then you are, but is the difference enough for you?"

This is difficult. How can I say what I feel if it ruins Helen's love for me? Would Helen still love me if I was a male David? Andy told Helen to give me space to learn who I was. If I tried to be more masculine would she remember what Andy said? Was she doing this because of her chat with Andy?

"I don't know," I answered, not really knowing how I was going to say this. "I don't know what it is to be feminine or masculine. All I've ever done is be myself. Before the Paris trip, I had to have lessons to walk in heels, but any girl has to learn that; it wasn't a sign I was less feminine. I want to be David. I want to be a good husband, hopefully to Helen. Perhaps one day a father. But I don't know if I can when people keep thinking I'm a girl."

"On Sunday, why did you pretend to be a girl when the waitress referred to you all as females?"

"So she wasn't embarrassed, or cause issues to others. At first I was going to say something but I was reminded what might happen."

"Did the others force you to be Jayne?"

"No, not really. They were just trying to help me. But that wasn't the only time it happened. After the meal I went to the toilet and people there thought I was a girl, till I stood up to go. I didn't back down that time, but it made me more afraid. I was frightened that I was going to be beaten up."

"Why?" asked Rachel. "The people that go there aren't normally violent."

"I just felt very unsafe. Nobody threatened me, but I felt I was a threat to them."

"So, do you want to attend these lessons?"

"I think it would be good for us both," I replied without hesitation. "I take it, it wouldn't change who we are?"

"You mean, will it change your core personality?"

"I suppose so. Will it?"

"No, we aren't a school who brainwashes people, or forces them to be something they aren't. You will still be you. You'll just have new skills that you can use."

"So we can do it?" asked Helen getting all excited.

"I don't see any reason why you shouldn't and as you say, it should help with extracurricular activities."

"So, when do we start?"

"Calm down. I've got to arrange things. You'll need training in male grooming, deportment, speech and various other things. This isn't a two week course and you'll have to do a lot of practice in your spare time."

"Will we be ready before the next school trip?"

"If everything goes well, then I don't see why not," laughed Rachel at Helen's eagerness.

"Oh, we've missed lunch," said Helen in horror as she looked at her watch.

"Don't worry; I expected this to be a long session. If you go to your rooms, your meal will be brought to you. I'll let the others know you are okay. After you have eaten, put the trays outside your door and let the kitchen know. You're to have an hour or two of rest. You can catch up on the afternoon lessons from your friends."