Hello, I just finished your story, "A Strange Attraction to Concrete Cows" and I would like to say that other than the mistakes that were already pointed out on the fictionmania comments page, your style of writing and technical capabilities are all very good. Much better than a good deal of the many authors I have read recently.

The only real gripe I have with the story is the ending that wasn't. There are a great many loose ends, and questions that remain unanswered. There was a great deal of foreshadowing as to what was about to occur within the family structure, and I believe that Beth was very near figuring it out, as was Bill/Jill with his use of the library. He could have checked recent news paper archives and seen what the papers reported, and discovered about his dad being Julia that way.

It's a very good story up until the final scenes that just leaves us all hanging and wondering what will happen next? If one were to apply the Monomyth Theory to the story, then this scene with Bill's mother dying, assuming that it actually happens and isn't a dream as many have suggested, is a very good point to challenge the percieved hero and make him question his right & ability to be the hero, which you have done quite well. The problem lies in that the story isn't over, and there is a great deal more to be told.

The best way I can illustrate this, assuming you are unfamiliar with the theory, is with the Characters of Obiwan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker form Star Wars Episode IV. The situation you have developed is very similar to when Kenobi is killed by Vader. Luke begins to question himself and his capabilities. This is similar to what Bill has done by "killing" Jill with the death of Mom. With the story ending with Mom's death, it rather implies that Mom is the primary character, and she was really not portrayed as such. She was however a good primary antagonist for the characters of Beth and Bill.

Finally, I would like to thank you for writing this piece. It was an enjoyable read up until the ending, and I do hope you reconsider ending it like that.