“Good!” The tall young man said as Luke effortlessly lobbed the ball back to him. “One more, come on.”

“Sure,” Luke replied, stopping the ball dead with his feet before chipping it back into his training partner’s hands.

“You sure you’ve never played on a team before?” Luke’s training partner, a young man named Darren, asked in his thick Yorkshire accent as he and Luke followed the rest of the team off of the pitch.

“Heh, I wish,” Luke snorted, thinking back to his time at secondary school, when his choice of sports teams included netball, hockey, gymnastics or nothing- the latter of which was far more appealing to Luke than pulling on a short, pleated skirt or squeezing his body into a skin-tight leotard. It had been bad enough that he’d had to wear a skirt the rest of the time he was at school, but much to his relief, those days had eventually ended. As Luke thought back on his first month at university, he realised that he’d genuinely never been happier- not because he was allowed to wear trousers, or play football, or not have to worry about his appearance, but because for what felt like the first time in his life, he no longer needed to put on an act.

While Luke still spent most of his time hanging out with Susie and his sister, he’d slowly started to make additional friends, some of whom he had become close with- especially those who had gone along to cheer Luke on at football practice.

“Nice one, mate!” Gavin playfully cheered as he gave Luke a fist bump on their way back to the changing room.

“Cheers Gav!” Luke chuckled. “Think I’m just about getting the hang of this, heh!”

“You’re a hell of a lot better than I’d be!” The thick Mancunian accent of Kieran Baxter chuckled as he gave Luke a friendly pat on the shoulder. Like Gavin, Kieran was a fan of the university’s football team and often watched the training sessions with him, but what surprised Luke and Gavin the most was that their first meeting with Kieran had been at the university's LGBT society.

In their first month at university, neither Luke nor Lucy had missed a single event organised by the LGBT society, thanks in part to Rick’s infectious enthusiasm for the events, but mostly because it was, apart from classes, the only opportunity Luke and Lucy had to hang out with each other and with Susie. While they still occasionally hung out in their rooms, the twins had gradually come out of their shells and socialised more with the other students at the university, with Luke's participation in football training sessions being just an example of that. However, as happy as he was to have a social life away from Susie and his sister, Luke still found himself relying more and more on the safe space provided by the LGBT society- especially as not everyone on the team was as welcoming of his presence as Darren.

“Alright, gay boys?” A young man with a similar accent to Darren's said with a snort of laughter as he jogged past the trio, making the three young men roll their eyes.

“…Well, I WAS going to make a joke about the old cliché of gay men not being able to play football,” Kieran sighed.

“Can he get away with saying that to us?” Gavin asked. “I mean, it’s technically not untrue for me and Kieran…” Luke fidgeted as he felt his two friends look expectantly at him- as much as the perceived insult offended him, there were several things preventing him from speaking out- not least the fact that he still didn’t want to draw any untoward attention to himself.

“I- ehh…” Luke sighed. “I don’t want to go running to Jerome or Rick every time someone calls me a name. I chose this life, I should, like, accept the consequences. And he’d probably just claim ‘freedom of speech’ anyway.”

“It doesn’t seem right to me that he has more freedom to be bigoted than we have to live free from bigotry,” Kieran snorted.

“Me either,” Luke sighed. “But, well, that’s just the way it is. And besides…”

“Besides… What?” Gavin asked.

“Besides… Ugh,” Luke spat. “He’s the star striker of the A side, I’m, like, a midfielder for the C side. Who do you think the team’s going to want to keep if it came down to me or him?”

“Well- maybe he’ll educate himself,” Gavin shrugged. “That is what you come to uni to do, isn’t it?”

“It’s what you’re supposed to do,” Kieran sighed. “But anyway, no matches this weekend so you don’t have to put up with him again until Tuesday.”

“Yeah,” Luke chuckled nervously.

“So… Union bar tonight, then?” Gavin asked, earning a smile and a nod from Kieran.

“I’ll have to check with Lucy first,” Luke replied.

“Just ‘cause you’re twins, it doesn’t mean you have to be permanently joined at the hip!” Gavin teased Luke, who rolled his eyes in response.

“Aye, I know,” the young transman retorted. “I just don’t like, you know, leaving her in the lurch, that’s all.” Luke bit his lip to try to hide the guilt that he felt at having a social life that didn’t involve his sister- however, as he often reminded himself, Lucy had made just as many friends as he had, if not more.

Lucy took a deep breath and adjusted her leggings and sports bra before stepping back into the middle of the dance studio, trying her hardest not to think about how the latter garment was ‘surplus to requirements’.

“Okay girls,” the class instructor, a young girl with a north-eastern accent named Kacey who was barely older than Lucy, ordered in an enthusiastic voice. “We’ll do bars one to four. And five, six, seven, eight…” Lucy grinned as she and the five girls beside her copied Kacey's steps, her grin widening as she kept up with the other girls, before the music stopped, and all six girls stepped to the side of the room to get their breath back.

“You were awesome,” Priya said reassuringly to the tall trans girl, before turning to the shorter girl next to her. “You too!”

“Thanks,” Claudia giggled bashfully. “I still feel, you know, REALLY self-conscious when I’m dancing, but- well, it IS a lot of fun, hehe!”

“Trust me, I know how you feel,” Lucy chuckled. “At least you don’t, you know, stand out…”

“And neither do you!” Kacey chastised the tall brown-haired girl, who giggled and blushed. “I’m serious, Lucy, for a beginner, you- you’re really good!”

“Thanks,” Lucy mumbled, before biting her lip. “Do- do you mean, like, as a dancer, or- or as a, you know, girl?”

“Honestly?” Kacey replied, smiling as Lucy nodded. “You’re a natural at both.”

“Seriously,” Priya concurred with a warm smile as the class began to disperse. “So… SU bar tonight, then?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Claudia replied with a giggle. “Though I can’t have too much to drink, my train back home leaves early tomorrow, so- yeah.”

“Yep, same here,” Priya chuckled. “Downside of living 250 miles away from home instead of just 20…” Priya smirked as she looked expectantly at Lucy, who simply fidgeted uncomfortably at the implication.

“Yeah, I- heh, might as well be a million miles away for me, dressed like this…” Lucy blushed and tried not to cry as her dark-skinned friend stopped in her tracks, cringing and almost bending double with embarrassment.

“Oh my GOD,” Priya moaned. “I- I’m SO sorry Lucy, I can’t believe I just said that…”

“It- it’s okay, really,” Lucy said, even as tears started to form in her eyes.

“No- no it isn’t,” Priya sighed. “I still have a LOT to learn, heh, even after six years of having transgender friends.”

“For what it’s worth, you’re a lot further ahead than a lot of people in this uni,” Lucy sighed as she pulled on her dance society hoodie and followed her friends out of the studio.

“Oh, Lucy...” Claudia sighed sadly. “Are you still getting grief from the other students on your course?”

“Well- not ‘grief’ as much,” Lucy replied. “I mean, like, no one’s gone out of their way to be mean to me, but I- I still see the way people look at me, and- yeah. Makes me grateful for the safe spaces I do have, heh.” Such as the LGBT society, Lucy thought to herself. Pity Rick can't be my 'guardian angel' everywhere else in the uni...

“Everywhere in the university should be a safe space,” Priya snorted. “Everywhere in the world, even. I mean, I was in a shop buying stationery the other day, and I swear as I left it, I heard someone say ‘thank you, come again’.”

“Ugh,” Claudia snorted. “I mean, I hear the phrase ‘white privilege’ thrown about a lot and, well, I never felt all that privileged growing up, but when I hear stories like that- I kinda get it, yeah. And you can add ‘straight privilege’ and ‘cis privilege’ to that list as well.”

“Yep,” Priya said, before sighing and shaking her head. “I- I think this is probably enough politics for a Friday evening, heh! So, I’ll ask again: SU. Bar. Tonight?”

“Totally,” Lucy replied with a confident smile that betrayed the nerves she felt inside- nerves that she knew her brother was feeling too.

Even though the twins’ university was only a short train ride from their family home in Newcastle, they, unlike many of their classmates, had opted not to return home during the weekends. Even Susie had travelled back more than once to visit her mother, but the twins had continued to stay in Durham. When their parents had asked if they’d be returning to Newcastle, the twins would reply with excuses such as being overwhelmed with their studies or hanging out with friends, but with each excuse, the twins felt guiltier and guiltier, even if they were partially true.

Both Luke and Lucy still loved their parents and found themselves missing them more and more as the weeks went on, but they knew deep down that they wouldn’t be able to go back home for one major reason- that when they went home, Lucy would have to become Luke again, and Luke would have to become Lucy. Both twins saw this as a price they were unwilling to pay, but as the weeks went on, they knew that they’d have to return home to see their parents sooner or later, and they were running out of excuses.

However, neither Luke nor Lucy saw this as a reason to put a dampener on their fun- especially not on a Friday night at the end of a long week of studying.

“Hey guys!” Susie said with an excited grin as Luke, Gavin and Kieran met her outside the bar. “Good time at football practice, then?”

“Yep, it was fun!” Luke replied, consciously deciding not to tell his friend about the 'encounter' the three of them had had at the end of the practice session even as his two friends fidgeted uncomfortably. “What’ve you been up to? I half expected to see you at practice.”

“Just been doing a bit of reading,” Susie replied with a shrug. “Didn’t want to, you know, get in the way…”

“Oh, come on, you wouldn’t get in the way, you know that, right?” Luke asked, grinning as he gave the ginger girl a tight one-armed hug.

“Yeah, we could always use another cheerleader, heh!” Gavin joked as the four teenagers entered the bar and found themselves a table, saving space for their friends who were yet to arrive.

“One who’d actually look good in the uniform, too!” Kieran interjected, laughing and flinching as Susie threw a pretend punch at his side.

“If you ever catch me wearing a cheerleader costume, you have my permission to shoot me in the head,” Susie snorted, before giggling herself. “Ah, maybe next week. Besides, I was packing my case for the weekend, probably going to get the last train to Newcastle tonight. Are- umm, do you know yet if you’ll be heading back home, Luke?”

“…I haven’t decided yet,” the young transman mumbled in reply. “It’s something I need to talk over with Lucy, anyway.”

“Well, if you do go back and you need any moral support, you know where to turn, right?” Susie asked with a grin.

“That applies to me too,” Gavin said. “I mean, I wasn’t planning on going back home this weekend, but it’s hardly a hardship, right?”

“…Thanks,” Luke chuckled, a genuine smile spreading across his face as he realised once again that for the first time in his life, he didn't just have a friend, but many friends, and genuine friends too. “But, like I said, I still need to talk it through with Lucy.”

“Well, obviously,” Gavin said. “Where one goes, the other goes, right?”

“Well, apart from football practice and dance class, anyway,” Kieran said with a mischievous giggle. “Ahh… I always wondered what it’d be like to have a twin, you know?”

“Have you got any siblings, Kieran?” Susie asked as she sipped her beer.

“Two brothers, one older, one younger,” the Manchester native replied. “We’re not, you know, all that similar, though.”

“In fairness, neither are me and Lucy,” Luke mused.

“What is it we’re not, now?” Lucy asked as she, Priya and Claudia approached the table and greeted everyone present with a hug.

“Luke was telling us that despite you being twins, you’re not all that alike,” Gavin replied, making Lucy smirk as she examined her own attire of black leggings and pink trainers and compared it to the loose football shorts and beaten-up brown walking boots that her brother was wearing- not to mention the layer of fine hair covering his shins that was absent from her own legs.

“Well… he’s got a point, hehe!” Lucy giggled, making her brother smirk. “Did you have a good training session?”

“Did you have a good dance class?” Luke retorted with a smirk as the twins’ five friends all giggled.

“It was good thanks, yeah!” Lucy replied with a grin. “Only way it could be better is if someone agreed to come along…”

“Oh- don’t, seriously,” Susie scoffed, before pointing at Gavin and Kieran. “These two have just spent the last few minutes trying to get into a cheerleader costume, I don’t need you piling on as well!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll let it go for now,” Lucy chuckled, before smirking devilishly. “Do they have a cheerleading society at the uni?”

“Yep,” Priya replied. “Nearly signed up for it, but I wasn’t on my secondary school cheer team so thought it might have involved a bit too much catching up. That, and because I’m, well, petite, means I’m the one who’s going to get thrown around everywhere, heh.”

“Didn’t you tell me that your sister used to be a cheerleader?” Claudia asked.

“Yep!” Priya replied with a smirk. “And as she’s even smaller than me, so, yeah. Good job years of ballet and gymnastics means she doesn’t suffer from motion sickness, heh!”

“Yeah,” Lucy chuckled, before biting her lip and fidgeting awkwardly- something her friend immediately picked up on.

“Is something wrong, Lucy?” Priya asked.

“Ah- no, no,” Lucy replied, before sighing. “I’m, you know, trying not to ask, like, a racist question.”

“Let me guess- wondering what my family would think about us prancing around in skimpy clothing?” Priya asked with a sigh, before smiling sympathetically. “It’s okay, I mean, it’s okay to think it, heh. And to answer your question, my parents are SUPER liberal. My father’s actually volunteered to campaign for Sadiq Khan in the next mayoral election.”

“Definitely different to our parents,” Luke snorted. “Especially our grandparents, heh.” Luke smiled across as his sister, who was fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat at the mention of their father's parents.

“Let- let’s not talk about our parents when we’re trying to have fun, please?” Lucy asked. “Especially on a Friday night?”

“I’ll drink to that!” Gavin cheered as he finished his drink. “Anyone want anything from the bar?”

“Aye, another beer please,” Luke replied, finishing his pint and handing the glass to his friend.

“Just a small white wine please,” Lucy said, briefly locking eyes with her brother again, both understanding that they would need to have 'the talk' about whether or not to go home that weekend, just as they'd done every Friday night since starting university.

The seven teenagers stayed in the bar for another two hours, before Susie announced that she needed to leave to catch her train. Rather than let her go alone, the group, some of them already unsteady on their feet, accompanied her to the station, where all six of them bade Susie farewell with hugs- Luke and Lucy's hugs being the tightest of them all.

“See yas all on Monday!” Susie said with a wave as she boarded her train. “Maybe even sooner, heh!” Luke and Lucy both laughed at their friend’s joke, but both fidgeted awkwardly as they glanced at each other again.

Once Susie’s train had left, the six remaining students made the short walk back to their campus. While Gavin, Kieran, Priya and Claudia were still buzzing from their evening of fun, Luke and Lucy’s anxiety levels continued to rise. However, mere seconds after arriving back at their dorm building, Kieran's phone buzzed to inform him of a new notification.

“Ooh, I’ve just had a text from Shane from the LGBT society,” Kieran said with a smile. “Apparently, there’s a party on his corridor tonight if anyone’s interested? And yes, straight people will be allowed, hehe!”

“Ugh, I’d love to, but I have to be up REALLY early tomorrow,” Priya sighed.

“Same here,” Claudia said with a sad smile. “Maybe next time, if the party wasn’t on a Friday, heh. Though at the same time, I get why it has to be on a Friday too, so- yeah. Maybe next week.”

“All round to Claudia’s next Friday evening, then,” Gavin joked, making the blonde girl blush. “And I would love to, but- yeah. Kinda, you know, need to get back to me room and take my meds, heh.”

“Oh- oh, Gav, are you- are you feeling okay?” Lucy asked, concerned for her friend.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Gavin replied with an annoyed sigh, before smiling sympathetically. “I just have, you know, my up and down days. I’ll get some kip, I’ll be right as rain tomorrow.”

“If you’re sure,” Lucy said, smiling as her dark-haired friend nodded.

“Well, like Claudia says, there’ll be other parties,” Kieran said with a grin, before turning to the twins. “How about you two, then? If you’re not going back to Newcastle tomorrow you won’t need to be up early, right?”

“’If’,” Lucy replied as she exchanged a knowing glance with her brother. Both twins knew that it was a discussion they needed to urgently have. However, both Luke and Lucy were desperate for a reason, any reason to not have to discuss it, and the party was just the excuse they were looking for- and would be a good chance to blow off some extra steam as well.

“…Just let us get changed first,” Luke said with a confident smirk that widened as Kieran cheered and giggled.

“I’ll text you the room number,” Kieran said excitedly. “See you there!”

“Yep!” Luke said with a grin as the group started to disperse, though rather than head back to his own room, Luke followed his sister into her room and sat down on her bed with a loud sigh.

“Yeah…” Lucy chuckled as she removed her hoodie and pulled a tight black long-sleeved top and a dark red skater skirt from her wardrobe. “Kinda inappropriate us changing together, isn’t it? Also, no offence, but you’re probably the last person I’d go to for make-up tips, heh!”

“Compliment accepted,” Luke said with a smirk. “Nah, just- ugh. I keep thinking about what Susie said at the train station, that we can’t avoid going back home forever…”

“Did she say that exactly?” Lucy asked.

“Well, she definitely implied it,” Luke snorted. “And- ugh. If it were up to me, I’d just stay here, like, all the time, but I- well, you know…”

“What we do, we do together,” Lucy said softly, sharing a smile with her twin. “I know. And I- ugh. I know we’ve got to deal with it eventually, but- like, we’re still settling into uni, getting the hang of things, we need time to, you know, be ourselves, spread our wings, get the hang of our coursework… Reckon mum and dad will buy that excuse for the fourth week in a row?”

“Worth a try,” Luke chuckled, jumping off his sister’s bed and giving her a quick hug. “See you at the party!”

“Aye,” Lucy said with a smile as she watched her brother walk away, marvelling at how, once again, they'd arrived at the same conclusion almost immediately- just like if they were thinking with one mind.

A short while later, the twins made their way through the halls of residence to Kieran’s corridor, where they could hear that the party was already in full swing. Lucy fidgeted slightly as she adjusted her thin tights under her short skater skirt, but the smile remained on her face as she headed into the party, knowing that even an unofficial event of the LGBT society would be a safe space for her and her brother. Luke and Lucy had been invited to dorm parties by other students before but had always declined unless they knew that one of their close friends would be there as well. The twins usually justified their decision by reasoning that they still needed time to get used to university life, but as time went on, they were forced to acknowledge that they had settled in just as well as anyone else, and their excuse was just that- an excuse. Secretly, they also acknowledged that the real reason wasn’t so much that they were waiting for them to get used to university life, but rather that they were waiting for the university to get used to them.

In their first four weeks at university, Luke and Lucy hadn’t faced any violence or threats of violence from their fellow students, but neither had it been plain sailing for them. Both twins knew that wherever they went, they would stand out and draw attention. As adept as Lucy got at fixing her hair and make-up, it only went so far to disguising her masculine face (especially her jawline), and no matter what style or length of skirt, or what type of shoes she wore, she would still stand nearly six feet tall. By comparison, even with his chest bandaged and clad in baggy clothing, such as the loose shirt and jeans he wore to the party, Luke was always conscious of his short stature and his ‘cute’ looking face. And even though they considered it unthinkable to not be together, they knew that whenever they were together, it only served to amplify these 'traits'. Wherever they went, they attracted stares, whispers and giggles from those passing them by, even when among friends. Sometimes, the twins found themselves almost wishing that they were confronted directly- at least that way, they’d have a justification for confronting their tormentors. Even their weekly telephone meetings with their counsellor were proving to be fruitless, as despite their commitment to living their life in their new genders, they were still no closer to securing a prescription for hormone replacement therapy- and worse yet, the one major thing preventing the prescription was the one thing the twins dreaded the most.

In the four weeks since their course started, Luke and Lucy had yet to see their parents face to face, meaning that more crucially, their parents had yet to see them. Whenever Lucy spoke to her parents, it was with Luke’s voice, and vice versa. The twins badly wanted to stop keeping their parents in the dark, not just for the practical purpose of obtaining HRT, but because by not telling them, it made the twins feel like their identities were somehow not real. Whenever Lucy applied her make-up or pulled on a skirt, or whenever Luke bandaged down his chest or pulled on his preferred baggy jeans, they felt like they were only pretending to be the people they felt they truly were on the inside. The twins knew that they couldn’t keep up the pretense forever, but they also knew that the price would be too high if their parents rejected them. However, no matter what, the twins would always have each other, and moreover, they would also have their new friends- friends that Luke and Lucy at one point thought they’d never make.

Friends who also gave Luke and Lucy a warm welcome when they arrived at the main party room, where Luke and Lucy each grabbed a bottle of beer before mingling with the crowd. Most of the partygoers were students that the twins knew from the LGBT society, but there were still a few unfamiliar faces, who nonetheless welcomed and accepted the twins unquestioningly as they were.

“Hey you two!” Kieran said with a giggle as he gave the twins a hug each. “Glad you didn’t have more BORING things you needed to do, hehe!”

“Nah, we were never going to miss this!” Luke replied with a grin.

“Even if it is a bit of a cliché that the two of you have shown up together?” Kieran asked, grinning as his new friends both frowned. “Oh, come on, you know I don’t mean anything bad by it, but you are always, you know, together?”

“Not ‘always’,” Luke retorted. “I’ve never seen Lucy at football practice, for one thing.”

“And I’ve never seen Luke come to dance class,” Lucy interjected.

“Nor are you going to,” Luke snorted, earning a giggle from their new friend.

“Maybe not,” Kieran conceded. “But it is so cute how you finish each other’s sentences, hehe! And roll your eyes simultaneously, too.”

“Think I’m gonna need more of these,” Luke snorted as he gestured with his beer bottle.

“Plenty more where that came from,” Kieran said, smiling as Luke headed to the cramped room’s fridge. “I’m especially glad that you came too, Lucy. I think in four weeks we’ve exchanged, what, five words with each other?”

“Well, before tonight, maybe,” Lucy replied with a smirk as she and Kieran sat down on the room's sofa. “I mean, I’ve seen you hang out with Luke, especially at LGBT society, but- yeah. What you said before isn’t exactly unfair, we are used to, well, sharing everything, heh.”

“I know, I- I’ve kinda talked to Susie a bit as well,” Kieran said, making Lucy smirk as he blushed. “Not- not just about you two, I mean, but- yeah. She told me about how she was ostracised at school for kissing a girl… I can kinda sympathise. Well, not with the whole ‘kissing girls’ thing, but- yeah. I grew up in Didsbury, and while yes, it’s very much a ‘Labour’ part of the UK, it doesn’t mean it’s an LGBT paradise the way that, like, Brighton is.”

“…Ah,” Lucy said quietly. “I guess that’s, like, the one thing about not coming out while we were at school- we didn’t have that level of shit to deal with.”

“You just have different shit to deal with now?” Kieran asked with a knowing smirk.

“Not as much as I expected, if I’m honest,” Lucy replied. “I think people are finally getting used to me, heh. It’s at home where the shit’s waiting for me.”

“Well, yep,” Kieran said with a sad sigh. “If you need any help or any advice on coming out to a family that weren’t expecting it, well, I’m the man to come to, heh!”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Lucy said with a smile as she finished her drink. Moments later, Luke returned with three more beers, earning cheers from his sister and his friend.

“Go on then, what did I miss?” Luke asked as he sat down next to his sister.

“Nothing important,” Lucy replied with a grin. “Just getting to know Kieran a bit better, don’t want you hogging ALL the boys!”

“Oh aye, funny girl,” Luke snorted.

“I will confess, though,” Kieran mused. “I was kinda surprised when you told me that you were still, you know, interested in boys. I mean, obviously, I know that gender identity and sexual orientation aren’t linked, but- well, yeah.”

“It’s my life,” Luke shrugged. “I’ll live it however I want and with whoever I want. I don’t care about labels like ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or even ‘cis’ or ‘trans’. Well, for the most part, anyway.”

“Preach!” Kieran cheered. “As long as this means you’re still going to be at pride?”

“Well, Durham pride, yep!” The young trans man chuckled as his sister fidgeted.

“Would you rather I didn’t sit between the two of you?” Lucy asked, giggling as the two men rolled their eyes at her.

“This is a party, you can sit wherever you want!” Kieran replied with a giggle. “Or stand, or dance, or whatever- or even, whoever takes your fancy!”

“…I’m okay sitting for now,” Lucy said with a grin as she took a swig of her beer and surveyed the scene. All around her were people her age laughing, dancing and having fun, and whether it was thanks to the beer or the company, for the first time ever she started to feel like she was somewhere she truly belonged. There was no pressure on her to ‘man up’, or to pretend to like things she hated, and most of all, there was no pressure on her to BE someone she hated. She was free to be whoever she wanted to be, a freedom that Lucy had long since craved- and a glance at her brother instantly revealed that he shared her feelings.

As time had gone on, Lucy had noticed how her brother had become increasingly stressed out and anxious about everything in his life. She’d witnessed him lashing out, breaking down and often boiling over with frustration, and had occasionally been on the receiving end of his anger- which had always been worse when Luke had had to pretend to be a girl. But for the first time in a long time, his face displayed a look of genuine happiness. For the first time, just like Lucy, Luke was free to be himself. And neither twin wanted that feeling, that sense freedom to end.

“Come on,” Luke said with a grin as he finished his beer. “Let’s have some fun!” Lucy didn't need to be asked twice, and the twins spent the next few hours forgetting about all their worries and simply enjoying being who they were- who they'd always wanted to be.

“Ugh, I needed that, I really did,” Luke said with a heavy sigh as he returned to his room, where he flopped onto his bed while his sister sat down at his desk.

“What, the party, the booze, or both?” Lucy asked with a tipsy giggle.

“Both, all of it, everything,” Luke replied. “The chance to forget- well, you know better than anyone, heh.”

“Yeah,” Lucy mused. “I don’t see it as ‘forgetting’, though. More like ‘remembering what we now have’, if that makes sense.”

“Perfect sense,” Luke said with a smile. “Anyway, lots of exercise followed by lots of alcohol means I really, really need some sleep now, heh.”

“Hint taken,” Lucy chuckled. “So... got any idea what we can do tomorrow? The last thing I want to do is stay cooped up in my room all weekend, heh. Well, I can think of one worse thing, heh.”

"Aye," Luke said darkly. "But- whatever. We don't NEED to go back home, right?"

"Right," Lucy replied. "So... decision made on what we're NOT doing tomorrow, heh. I'll- I'll text mum or dad first thing. That just leaves the question of what we ARE doing."

“I’ll leave that up to you as well,” Luke yawned. “Whatever you choose though, make sure we’re not leaving Kieran by himself.”

“Will do,” Lucy said with a grin as she turned off her brother’s light and headed back to her room.

As Lucy removed her make-up and got ready for bed, she pondered on what her brother had said, and how she’d replied. With no make-up on her face and her hair slicked back, she undoubtedly had a boy’s face. If she removed the clothes she was wearing, she’d undoubtedly have a boy’s body- especially if she stripped naked. It was something she was never not conscious of, but as the weeks had passed, it was something she had come to not be ashamed of. It was simply a part of who she was, who she had become, and a reminder that there was still a long way to go on her journey. Lucy only wished that Luke could feel the same way about his body- and that their parents would accept them the way they’d accepted themselves. However, Lucy reasoned to herself, that was an argument that could wait for another time, as the one thing they’d gained the most of since starting university was freedom- the freedom to be the people they felt they truly were inside, and the freedom to not have to ask for permission from or explain themselves to those who would seek to deny them their freedom. Lucy knew that the confrontation was coming sooner or later- but it was a bridge she could cross when she came to it. Or, at least, that was what she believed…

“Ugh,” Luke moaned as his phone’s ringtone blared throughout the room, worsening the headache with which he’d woken up. With a sigh, Luke unplugged his phone from its charger and looked at the screen, frowning as he didn’t recognise the number. “He- hello?”

“Hi mate, it’s James Thorn here, have I caught you at a bad time?” The voice asked, making Luke frown as he tried to shake the cobwebs out of his head- if the captain of the university’s football team was calling him early on a Saturday morning, it had to be important.

“Umm, no, I can talk, what’s up?” Luke asked.

“You sure?” James asked with a chuckle. “Sound like you maybe had a couple too many lemonades last night?”

“…Something like that,” Luke said with a snort of laughter.

“Well, can’t say I blame you for having fun,” James laughed. “I’m calling to see if you’re up for playing today?”

“Wh- what, in a match?” Luke asked. “I thought the C Team weren’t playing this weekend?”

“Well, you’re not,” James replied. “But we’ve had a couple of guys on the B Team come down with flu and, well- okay, I’ll be honest with you, you’ll probably be warming the bench for the match, but it’s good experience. If you’ve got other plans, though, I can find someone else just as easily.”

“N- no, I’ll be there,” Luke said, his heart beating faster at the prospect of not just playing football, but having a genuine excuse to give to his and his sister's parents as to why they would be unable to go home. “Usual place?”

“Yep, same pitch,” James replied. “I’ll see you there!”

“Cool, cheers mate,” Luke said, smiling as he ended the call and flopped back onto his bed. Once again, Luke was plagued by the one thought he’d been unable to shake off since starting university- that he was only pretending to be a boy, and that when all of his 'layers', all of his clothes, his hobbies were stripped away, all that would be left was the girl he so desperately didn't want to be. And while he knew he had to address those feelings sooner or later- whether it was with his sister, his counsellor or someone else entirely- the football match at least meant that he could pretend just a little bit longer.

After showering and dressing in his preferred baggy jeans and college hoodie, Luke made the quick walk down the corridor to his sister’s room, gently knocking on the door five times to let her know it was him before awaiting her response.

“Yeah, come in Luke,” Lucy replied, smiling as her brother entered the room and sat down on her bed. “You’re looking pleased with yourself, then?”

“Well, I should be,” Luke replied with a grin. “Might be playing for the uni’s B Team today…”

“Oh- seriously?” Lucy asked, her grin widening as her brother nodded smugly. “That’s great news! What time’s the match?”

“What, thinking of watching this time?” Luke asked, his grin widening as his sister blushed. “It’s okay, I know there’s things you’d rather do than watch football, heh. You got enough of that when you were- well, before uni, anyway.”

“Yeah,” Lucy chuckled, before biting her lip as she pondered how to word what she was about to say. “Also, there’s, well- do you- ugh, this is going to sound SO bad…”

“No, go on,” Luke said softly. “You know you can ask me anything, right?”

“Y- yeah, well, that’s kinda the point,” Lucy sighed. “Do you- do you think we spend too much time together? I mean, here we are on Saturday morning, we’ve got the whole day to ourselves, and how are we spending it? Talking to each other.”

“If you’d rather I left, I’ll go,” Luke angrily snorted, before sighing. “I- I’m sorry Lucy, I just- ugh. You’re not wrong in what you’re saying, I mean, I get good news about the team and first thing I do is come straight round here, rather than texting Gavin, or Kieran, or anyone else on the team.”

“Yeah, and I- I do appreciate it,” Lucy said. “I mean, you ARE the most important person in my world.”

“I- I feel the same way,” Luke said, before sighing. “I mean, let’s face it, if mum and dad find out about- well, how we spent our first month of uni, it’s not like we’ll have any other family, is it?”

“Well- you never know,” Lucy replied.

“No, but I can make an educated guess,” Luke grumbled. “Ugh, anyway, it’s not something we have to worry about for now.”

“No, but we will sooner or later,” Lucy said. “Well, Christmas at the latest. God knows I- I don’t think I could go back to, well, being a boy again, not after this last month.”

“I know I can’t go back to being a girl,” Luke snorted. “Just thinking about it is making me sick. But like I just said, I don’t to worry about it for now. Not when I’ve got a match to prepare for, heh!”

“Yeah,” Lucy said with a smile. “Pity Gav had to go back home, you know he’d have loved to watch you play.”

“Yeah,” Luke said, before shrugging and sighing. “There’ll be other games. I’ll text Kieran as well, see if he wants to come along. Heh, and there you were thinking that we rely too much on each other when we’ve already got all these friends!”

“Well- yeah, I guess,” Lucy chuckled. “Both of my friends have gone back to their hometowns, though.”

“What ‘both’?” Luke retorted with a gentle chuckle. “Kieran’s your friend as well, isn’t he?”

“Well- aye, that’s true!” Lucy laughed. “You can never have too many friends, boy or girl, hehe!”

“Exactly,” Luke said. “Kieran’s said he’s eager to get to know you a bit better, too, so this’ll be a good chance.”

“Umm… He is gay, isn’t he?” Lucy asked confusedly.

“I doubt he meant ‘get to know you’ like THAT,” Luke replied. “He’s living away from home for the first time too, wants to make new friends, that’s all.”

“And what better way to do that than by making two friends for the price of one?” Lucy asked, smirking as her brother chuckled.

“Exactly,” Luke chuckled. “And I’ve got time before the match, so I'll text him and see if he wants to get a drink in the town centre before it. I’ll give you some time to get ready first.”

“What, are you saying it takes longer for me to get ready now that I’m a girl?” Lucy asked.

“Are you saying it doesn’t?” Luke replied, smirking as his sister rolled her eyes before ushering him out of the room.

45 minutes later, the twins and Kieran were casually strolling along Silver Street, window shopping as they watched the world going by. Both twins mused on how, while they were keenly observing everyone who passed, very few people were 'observing' them- as far as anyone else was concerned, they were just three ordinary students from the university enjoying their weekend- which was precisely what they were.

“That’s really cool that you’ve been given this opportunity for the team,” Kieran said, smirking as his friend blushed.

“It’s just one game,” Luke mumbled. “And besides, I might not even play, James said I’ll be a substitute, so- yeah.”

“Yeah, but still though, you must be doing something right,” Kieran said, before biting his lip. “Ah… I- I kinda meant as a footballer, not- well, you know… Though I suppose it could be a compliment… maybe?”

“…For what it’s worth, I took it as a compliment,” Luke said. “And don’t worry, I agree 100%. Especially as it gives me an excuse to stay in Durham another weekend, heh!”

“Yeah,” Kieran chuckled. “I know THAT feeling, heh. How did your parents take it when you told them this time?”

“Luce?” Luke asked his sister with a smug grin, before turning to their friend to explain. “We take it in turns to, like, call our parents to give them excuses as to why we can’t go home. Other than ‘we don’t want to’, heh.”

“Yeah,” Lucy chuckled nervously, before grimacing. “Though I- I kinda haven’t, well, you know…”

“Oh- what?” Luke asked, a frown spreading across his face.

“Well, they haven’t called us either,” Lucy said defensively. “I just figured, you know, if they don’t ask, we don’t need to tell, right?”

“They’re gonna be pissed off next week, though,” Luke scowled. “You know, like, when it’s my turn to call them? And you’re normally the one who has to remind me to call them!”

“Well- well I’ll call them next week, then,” Lucy mumbled as tears started to well in her eyes. “I just don’t- ugh. I…”

“…What?” Luke asked, his anger giving way to concern for his sister.

“I- well, you- you’ve got a deep voice, you know? For a girl,” Lucy mumbled. “Well… so do I. Deeper, like. So when I have to use it, like when I’m talking to our parents…” Luke grimaced and had to bite his lip to stop himself from crying as tears started to flow from his sister’s eyes.

“Ugh, Lucy…” Luke moaned as he and Kieran led the distraught girl to a nearby bench, where Luke gave his sister a tight, comforting hug. “I- I’m sorry, sometimes- sometimes I forget you’ve got this just as hard as I do, heh.”

“No- no, it’s okay,” Lucy sighed, taking several deep breaths to compose herself. “Like you said, I should’ve done it, I should’ve- heh.”

“Let me guess- ‘manned up’?” Luke asked, rolling his eyes as his sister nodded.

“Ugh, I HATE that phrase,” Kieran spat. “You don’t need to guess that I heard it a lot when I was growing up, especially from my older brother.”

“Hell, I am literally trying to ‘man up’ and I still hate it,” Luke said. “Though admittedly, not as much as Lucy does.”

“I bet,” Kieran said.

“There’s no reason to let it ruin our weekend, though,” Lucy said as she wiped the last of her tears from her eyes. “I’ll send dad a message on Facebook, explain we’re busy this weekend, simple as that.”

“I thought you’d told me you didn’t have Facebook?” Kieran asked, before nodding as a look of realisation spread across his face. “Ah, of course, you don’t have it in your- well, your-“

“Our real names,” Luke said, smiling sympathetically as his friend nodded.

“Okay, that’s done,” Lucy said, pressing the ‘send’ button on her messaging app. “Now how about we, you know, have some fun?”

“Sounds good to me!” Luke cheered, helping his sister to her feet as they and Kieran continued down Durham High Street. However, they had barely got 50 yards before Lucy’s phone started to ring, and the colour drained from her face as she checked the caller ID.

“Lucy?” Luke asked with clear concern in his voice. “Ehh, is- is that dad?” Luke grimaced as his sister nodded. “Want me to answer that?”

“What, you answer my phone?” Lucy asked. “That’ll probably cause us even more problems. Nah, I- I got this.” Lucy took a deep breath and cleared her throat as she prepared to speak in the voice she had consciously not used for over a month. “Hello?” Lucy winced as she said this one wimple word, trying not to feel too anxious about how alien the voice sounding coming from her own throat- or worse, whether anyone had heard her and wondered why the tall girl had a deeper voice than most boys.

“Hi Luke!” The twins’ father said as Lucy tried not to flinch at the user of her deadname. “I got your message, where are you right now?”

“Umm, Silver Street,” Lucy mumbled in reply.

“What a coincidence, so am I!” Paul chuckled, causing Lucy to freeze with fear. “…Hello? Luke? You still there?”

“Umm- umm, yeah, yeah I am,” Lucy said, trying her best to disguise the shock in her voice. “You- you’re here in Durham?”

“What!?” Luke shrieked, before clamping his hands over his mouth in shock as he tried to process the unexpected information.

“Is that your sister?” Paul asked with a chuckle.

“Umm, ye- yeah, sh- umm, they’re here too,” Lucy replied. “Wh- why have you come to Durham?”

“Why d’you think?” Paul laughed. “It’s been a month since I’ve seen either of yas, and okay, we’ll have all of Christmas together, but I’m missing the both of you! I mean, okay, you’re leading your own lives and I respect that, I really do, but I’m still your dad, you’re still my son and Lucy’s still my daughter, you know?” I know, but you definitely don’t, Lucy ruefully thought to herself as she wondered just how much her father would respect his children leading their own lives if he knew the whole truth. “So I figured,” Paul continued, “if Mohammed won’t go to the mountain- well, I’m sure you know the rest, heh!”

“Ye- yeah,” Lucy stammered.

“Anyways,” Paul said, “I’m at the Caffe Nero so I’ll get yas both a drink and see you there, okay?”

“Y- yeah,” Lucy stammered. “Sounds great!”

“See ya in a bit!” Paul chuckled as Lucy ended the call and tried her hardest not to scream.

“…Luce?” Luke asked, fidgeting nervously as he dreaded what his sister had to say. “What- where is he?”

“At- at the Caffe Nero,” Lucy mumbled, trying to take what little comfort she could from speaking in her preferred feminine tone.

“What!?” Luke hissed. “We- we passed that, like, five minutes ago!”

“Yep,” Lucy said, clenching her jaw as her whole body felt paralysed with fear. “And he’s expecting us back there pretty much now.”

“Oh- Jesus Christ…” Luke groaned.

“You- you think you’ve got it bad?” Lucy snorted. “You can go in there wearing whatever you want, how- how am I meant to go and meet him like this?”

“It’s not going to be a barrel of laughs having to pretend to be a girl again!” Luke growled, before sighing. “But- yeah, I guess you’ve got a point. Can you- can you go back to the dorm to change?”

“It’ll take at least 15 minutes to get back there,” Lucy sighed. “And the queues in Primark means that’s not an option either…”

“Why- umm,” Kieran said hesitantly. “Why don’t you- I mean, ‘cause we’re, like, the same height and size, or near enough, right?”

“K- Kieran?” Lucy asked. “Are- are you- saying I should wear your clothes?”

“…Why not?” Kieran replied with a nervous shrug. “I can- I can wear your clothes back to uni, change into my clothes when I’m back there and leave yours waiting for you when you get back?”

“S- seriously, I can’t ask you to do that,” Lucy said with a nervous chuckle.

“It’s not like you’ve got many other options, like you yourself just said,” Kieran said softly. “And I’ll be fine, really. I’ll head straight back to the dorm, no one will even notice me.”

“Even with your hair?” Lucy asked, gesturing to the much shorter hair on her friend’s head.

“You’re wearing a hoodie,” Kieran shrugged. “I’ll put my hood up. Seriously, the longer we spend arguing about this, the longer your dad’s going to be waiting.”

“…He’s right, Lucy,” Luke said, giving his sister’s hand a gentle squeeze that did nothing to calm her anxiety. “Unless you can think of any other way in the next five seconds?”

“…No, I can’t,” Lucy sighed, before turning to Kieran with a sympathetic but grateful smile on her face. “So, umm, how- how d’you want to do this? I mean, it’s not like we can swap clothes out in the middle of the street…”

“I saw a McDonald’s a way back, they should have a disabled toilet,” Kieran replied. “It’ll be big enough for both of us, I mean, I don’t fancy trying to pass clothes under or over other cubicles.”

“And then there’s the fact that one of you would have to go into the ‘wrong’ toilet,” Luke said darkly. “And the other one would emerge from the ‘wrong’ toilet.”

“Well- okay then,” Lucy sighed, her anxiety levels rising with each step she took toward her destination. “Thank you SO much for this, Kieran, I- I really don’t know how I’ll be able to repay you for this.”

“It’s really no trouble at all,” Kieran replied. “You can always buy me a drink next time we’re in the union bar, heh. And besides, it’s just clothes, you know? Okay, I mean, to you- both of you- it’s more than that, it’s, like, an identity thing, and I get that- I mean, like, I hope I do, anyway.”

“Well- kinda, yeah,” Luke chuckled. “It is a bit- well, a lot more complicated than that, but it’s not something you’re really going to need to know, heh.”

“I’d like to, though,” Kieran shrugged. “Anything that’ll help me be a better friend to the two of you.”

“Trust me, what you’re about to do means you don’t have anything to worry about in ‘friend’ stakes,” Lucy chuckled. Whereas I have everything to worry about… Lucy thought to herself anxiously.

The three teenagers arrived at the McDonald’s a short while later, and while Luke stood in the queue to buy the three of them some fries, Lucy and Kieran stealthily made their way into the disabled restroom where Lucy began the unwanted task of stripping away her femininity. As Lucy wiped away her make-up with a wet wipe she had in her bag, she felt herself grow tenser and tenser as for the first time in a very long time, she started to see the boy she used to be staring back at her from the mirror.

“Hey,” Kieran whispered softly. “You okay?”

“No,” Lucy replied, earning a sad frown from her friend. “Ugh, I- I’ll be alright. I’ll just go and see dad, then come right back to uni and change back- well, put my ‘mask’ back on, I suppose.”

“What ‘mask’?” Kieran asked gently. “From where I’m standing, it looks to me more like you’re putting a mask on- heh, just as I am.”

“Heh, I guess,” Lucy mumbled. “But- ugh. A lot of people would disagree with you.”

“Are you one of those people?” Kieran asked.

“Well- no, I guess not,” Lucy replied.

“Then what does it matter what all those other people say or think?” Kieran asked.

“It matters a lot when one of them’s your dad,” Lucy replied, biting her lip as her friend frowned. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry, Kieran. Sorry that you got dragged into the middle of this, heh. I really, really am grateful that you agreed to this.”

“It really, really isn’t a problem,” Kieran said softly.

“Heh, I wish I could say the same,” Lucy sighed as she slowly removed her shoes, her skirt, her tights and her hoodie, carefully folding them on the toilet lid before turning to face her friend, who was in a similar state of undress.

“You okay?” Kieran asked.

“I will be when you stop asking that,” Lucy scoffed, before frowning. “I- I’m sorry. I just want to get this over with.”

“I understand,” Kieran said, pausing before picking up Lucy’s discarded tights.

“Do you- do you need a hand with those?” Lucy whispered.

“I- I’ll figure it out,” Kieran said, hesitating before stepping into the clingy garment. As Kieran pulled on her skirt and hoodie, Lucy steeled herself before slipping her feet into Kieran’s jeans, shuddering at the feel of the coarse denim against her hairless legs. Lucy had exclusively worn female clothing for so long that pulling on a pair of men's jeans- something she'd done countless times in her life before uni- felt utterly alien to her. However, much to her horror, she found herself quickly getting used to the feeling of the baggy garment.

After pulling on Kieran’s woolen sweater over her lacy camisole, Lucy took a look at herself in the mirror and started to slowly weep. She’d worked hard to be the woman she truly felt she was on the inside, and to have it all scrubbed away in mere minutes just reinforced her feelings that her friend was wrong, and that 'Lucy' really was just a mask she was wearing. Consciously, she knew that when she returned to her dorm, her preferred clothes and make-up- and moreover, her preferred identity- would be there waiting for her, but it didn’t ease her anxiety that she had been sent straight back to square one, that becoming ‘Lucy’ again would take more than simply a change of clothes and a layer of make-up.

“Hey,” Kieran whispered. “You- heh, alright, I won’t ask it, but- well, you know?”

“I- I just want to get this over with,” Lucy sighed. “Are you okay with- umm, I mean, do you- do you want me to put some make-up on you, to, like, help with the disguise?”

“Ehh, only- only if you’ve got time, and I don’t think you do,” Kieran replied with a grimace. “It’ll be okay. I’ve got plenty- umm, I mean, I can always put my hood up, plenty of, like, ‘protection’ from being, you know, ‘spotted’.”

“Ye- yeah,” Lucy said, fidgeting awkwardly in her friend’s clothes and trainers that were one size too big. After taking a deep breath, Lucy poked her head out of the toilet, and when seeing that the coast was clear, beckoned her friend to follow her.

As she headed back through the main area of the restaurant to where her brother was stood, Lucy found herself feeling even more self-conscious in her friend’s clothes than when she’d entered wearing her own clothes. Lucy imagined that she felt the whole restaurant staring at her, that even though she was a genetic male posing as a boy, they would see that it was just a 'pose' and would wonder what was wrong with her...

“H- hey,” Lucy whispered to her brother, who smiled sympathetically, before giving the tall girl a gentle hug.

“You okay?” Luke whispered, earning a nod from his sister in reply.

“I just want to get this over with,” Lucy mumbled.

“Yeah, I know that feeling,” Luke sighed, before turning to his cross-dressed friend and smiling as he handed him a bag of food. “I got you a burger meal, I dunno whether you like McDonald’s but I figured some junk food is the least we could do to say thanks, heh.”

“Thanks,” Kieran said quietly. “And I- I do love McDonald’s, heh.”

“I seriously owe you one for this,” Lucy said quietly.

“Which I’ve already gone some of the way toward repaying,” Luke said, giving his sister’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Like I keep saying to you and you keep saying to me: we do this together. Always.”

“…You guys are still so cute, heh,” Kieran said with a quiet chuckle. “I’ll text you when I’m back at the dorm, I probably won’t go out again today so you can come and pick up your clothes whenever.”

“Cheers,” Lucy said, giving her friend a gentle hug as they left the restaurant before bidding him farewell with a wave. “Okay, let’s get this over and done with, then.”

“Yeah,” Luke mumbled darkly.

“You- you know,” Lucy mused as the twins made their back down the High Street, “we’ve known Kieran for, like, less than a month, and he’s already done more for us than, like, any of the friends we made at school? Well, apart-“

“Apart from Susie,” Luke interrupted. “I was actually thinking the same thing, and I think I know why that is, too.”

“…Go on,” Lucy urged.

“Kieran’s only ever known the real us,” Luke said. “Same with Gavin, Priya and Claudia, they made friends with Luke and Lucy, not, like, Lucy and Luke, if that makes any sense.”

“Perfect sense,” Lucy said. “Though, again, Su-“

“Susie did know ‘Lucy and Luke’,” Luke interrupted. “Aye, I get that. But, you know, Susie’s cool, she actually gets us. Unlike some people…” Lucy bit her lip and steeled herself as she and her brother entered the coffee shop, where their father spotted them immediately and made his way over to them with a wide grin on his face.

“Hey, Lucy!” Paul said as he gave Luke a gentle hug that made the young man's chest tighten- both at the use of his deadname and at the feeling of being hugged as a daughter. However, Luke knew there was nothing he could do about either his father's attitude of his use of the wrong name- not immediately, anyway.

“Hi, dad,” Luke replied tiredly, knowing that his father would barely be listening to him throughout the meet-up.

“Hi Luke!” Paul said, giving Lucy a firm handshake and a much wider grin than he did his other child.

“H- hi, dad,” Lucy said, trying her hardest not to fidget as she sat down, consciously not holding her knees together as she'd done every time she'd sat down for the previous month.

“Well then,” Paul chuckled. “You two do still exist, then!”

“Erm- yeah…” Luke mumbled.

“I’d begun to wonder whether or not you’d run off to join the circus or something,” Paul said. You’d probably think that was better than what we'd actually been doing, Luke thought to himself.

“Yeah…” Lucy said awkwardly. “We- we’ve just been kinda, you know, busy- like, with our course, and stuff…” The twins paused and waited anxiously as their father raised his hand to silence them.

“You don’t need to explain yourselves to me,” Paul said warmly. “You’re both eighteen, you’re both adults, it’s only right that you should have your independence, lead your own lives the way you both want to.” Yeah, right, Lucy thought to herself.

"Are you- umm, you didn't fancy going to the match today, then?" Luke asked hesitantly.

"Well, for starters. we're actually playing tomorrow," Paul replied, making Luke grimace. “But even if we weren't, as much as I love the Toon, I love the two of you much, much more.”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy said, trying her hardest not to blush.

“Thanks,” Luke mumbled, leading to an awkward silence at the table.

“Anyway,” Paul said, “I want to hear all about what you’re doing at uni! All these lectures, all these societies you’ve joined that mean ya can’t come home to spend even one weekend with your mam and dad?”

“Well, umm, there’s not a lot to tell,” Lucy mumbled.

“I- umm, I’m on the football team,” Luke said, before grimacing and internally screaming as he realised that his answer would only result in more questions.

“…What, as, like, a cheerleader or something?” Paul asked, making Luke’s chest tighten with anxiety and anger.

“They- they do have a girls’ team too, dad,” Lucy retorted, though the angry glare coming from her twin’s eyes made her flinch- she knew how much Luke loathed even the implication that he was female.

“Oh- well, fair enough, I suppose!” Paul chuckled. “I guess it IS 2019, heh! How about you, Luke? You on the team as well? Not the girls’ team though, obviously!”

“Heh,” Lucy chuckled as she felt her own anxiety rise, with the clothes she was wearing feeling itchier than ever. “Umm, ah- no, no I’m not on any team, heh.”

“So what do you do at the weekends usually?” Paul asked. “Other than the obvious, heh!”

“The- the obvious?” Lucy asked.

“Well, yeah…” Paul replied. “You know, like, partying all evening, all weekend- not to mention the ‘other obvious’ thing I can’t say in front of your sister, heh!” Lucy fidgeted and tried her hardest not to scream as her father gave her a playful nudge with his elbow.

“Ye- yeah,” Lucy mumbled.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Paul chuckled. “Like I said, I get it- you’re eighteen, you want to spread your wings, there’s literally nothing wrong with what you’re doing.” Luke and Lucy glanced at each other, both instinctively knowing that their father would not have been as relaxed had he known the full truth about their university lives. “I know that when I first moved out, I went out to the pub or to a club every night of the week, heh! But I still made time for my mam and dad. Admittedly, though, where I was working there was a lot less pressure than where you’re studying!”

“Heh,” Lucy forced herself to chuckle.

“So, other than football and studying, what else have ya been doing the last few weeks?” Paul asked, making Luke and Lucy both tense up as they prepared to fabricate stories that they knew their father would want to hear.

The twins talked with their father for another hour, inventing stories about their university life such as Luke's time on the girls' football team and Lucy's claim to have tried out for the university's darts team despite the fact that she'd never thrown a dart in her life. Once the hour was over, the twins excused themselves, with Lucy exchanging another awkward handshake with her father while Luke endured another tension-filled hug. Without saying a word, the twins made their way back to the university campus, though both Luke and Lucy's tension levels remained high throughout the walk back.

Every second that she remained in Kieran’s clothes was a second that Lucy felt more and more anxious, more and more like an imposter that was about to be found out at a moment’s notice- but what she would be found out to be was something she couldn't say. Lucy began to wonder whether or not she truly was a boy pretending to be a girl, or a girl pretending to be a boy, or something else entirely.

Meanwhile, as he made the short walk back to his dorm, Luke felt his stress levels grow higher and higher. Unlike his sister, he hadn’t needed to change his clothes, or apply make-up, or fix his hair, and yet, he still felt like his whole body was being squeezed in a vice. Having to pretend to be a girl, even in the context of being his father’s daughter, had been more than Luke could handle. Even though it had only been an hour, it had felt like an eternity to the young man, and it took all of his willpower to not sprint back to the campus, back to where he felt truly safe, where he could once again be his true self.

When the twins arrived back at their dorm building, Luke wasted no time in making a beeline for his room, only to frown and feel his anxiety levels rise even further when he saw his sister head down a different corridor to the one their rooms were on.

“Wh- where are you going!?” Luke angrily snapped.

“Umm, to- to Kieran’s room?” Lucy meekly replied. “To, like, get my clothes back, I- I’m SO glad no one actually, you know, saw me…” Lucy bit her lip as the anger in her brother’s eyes grew- it had been nothing short of a miracle that she’d avoided running into anyone she knew on the walk back to her dorm, and the closer she got to her true identity- and the safety that came with the university's walls- the more desperate she became to return to it.

“I- ugh, I-“ Luke stammered, before doubling over as his breath caught in his throat and he began to hyperventilate.

“L- Luke? Luke!?” Lucy asked, starting to panic herself as she saw her brother begin to freak out.

“I- I’ll be alright, just leave me alone,” Luke gasped.

“Bollocks you will!” Lucy snorted, gently helping her brother back to his feet and escorting him to his room, where he crashed on his bed with a long, pained wail.

“…How pathetic am I?” Luke spat, turning his head so that he didn’t see his sister roll her eyes.

“Don’t say that!” Lucy chastised as she hastily composed a text message on her phone. “That- that was hard for both of us.”

“Yeah, right,” Luke snorted. “I went there dressed as ‘Luke’. I’m still dressed as ‘Luke’. And dad- ugh.”

“Dad only saw you as ‘Lucy’,” Lucy whispered.

“And he only saw you as ‘Luke’,” Luke mumbled. “But you’re not the one totally freaking out.”

“Well- no, no I’m not,” Lucy mumbled, her cheeks reddening with guilt as she again wondered why she wasn’t reacting as badly as her brother. Sure, she’d felt uncomfortable having to pretend to be her father’s son, and she was anxious to change back into her- HER- own clothes, but she wasn’t panicking like her brother was. Lucy briefly wondered whether or not her nerves were eased by the fact that she knew that Kieran would return soon with her proper clothes, before wondering whether her brother’s thoughts were thinking beyond that afternoon. “Are-“ Lucy began hesitantly. “Are you, umm, thinking- thinking about Christmas?”

“…Well I am NOW, thanks for that!” Luke spat, before rhythmically thumping his head into his pillow. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry, I really don’t know how I’m going to get through Christmas. Sorry- how WE’RE going to get through it.”

“Well, we- we’ll get through it the same way we always have,” Lucy said softly, before smiling as a gentle knock came from Luke’s door. “Together. And by ‘together’ I don’t just mean the two of us, not anymore.”

“Hi,” Kieran said with a nervous wave as Lucy opened the door and gestured for him to enter.

“Thank you so much again for what you did today,” Lucy said softly as she gave the young man (who was once again dressed as a young man) a gentle hug, before taking from him the carrier bag he'd brought with him. “You have NO idea how much I owe you for this.”

“It was my pleasure, really,” Kieran chuckled. “Though I- I’m afraid I may have, heh, sweated a bit- you know, with nerves…”

“It’s okay,” Lucy said softly. “I can wash the clothes when I wash yours, and I was going to throw those tights away anyway, they were getting a bit past it, heh!”

“Yeah,” Kieran said, before sighing sadly as he sat down next to Luke on his bed. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Luke mumbled back. “Th- thanks for your help today, Kieran.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Kieran said with a friendly smile. “I don’t mind being the ‘fairy godmother’ for one day, heh.”

“Yeah,” Luke chuckled, before frowning as he gazed at the clock in his room. “Ugh, I’ve got to get going, got a match to get ready for…”

“Don’t- I don’t think you’re in any condition for the match,” Lucy said. “Not today. I’ll get changed, I’ll go and see James and tell him you’re still feeling ill.”

“No,” Luke said firmly. “I- I’ve already let you down today, I’m not letting the team down as well!”

“How- how exactly have you ‘let me down’?” Lucy asked. “Like I’ve said a million times, we do this together, right?”

“…Always,” Luke mumbled with a nod. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry, Luce.”

“And stop apologising too,” Lucy ordered. “Today’s been shitty for both of us. But we can move past it now. We’ve got a phone call with Dr Adams on Monday afternoon anyway, we- WE can talk more about it then. In the meantime, we put today behind us, okay?”

“WAY behind us,” Luke said, breaking into a smile for the first time since he returned to his room. “Ugh, you’re right, I know you’re right, I- I just can’t help but think that this- this life we have, it- it could all end at a moment’s notice, you know? Seeing dad today just hammered that home for me. I never, never, NEVER want to be a girl again. Ever. Even- even to be seen as a girl, or thought of as one, it- it literally makes me want to puke. No offence.”

“You know I’m not going to take offence at that,” Lucy chuckled. “And- yeah, I know where you’re coming from. There’s a part of me that never thought I’d have to wear clothes like this again. But I know it’s only temporary. We- that is, I am Lucy Miller. When I was meeting with dad, I was just pretending to be a boy. The real me is female.” At least I really, really hope it is, Lucy thought to herself.

“…Aye,” Luke sighed. “And thanks.”

“Don’t think anything of it,” Lucy said softly. “You are and always will be the most important person in my life. I would do ANYTHING for you.”

“Same here,” Luke whispered.

“So cute,” Kieran sighed happily. “I mean, they say twins are supposed to be close, but- yeah. Heh, sorry if I’m, like, intruding or anything…”

“Nah, you’re okay,” Luke said with a grin. “I mean, you can never have too many friends, right?”

“Always been my motto,” Kieran giggled. “I will give you some space, though, if that’s what you want.”

“Ah, actually, I- I kinda need to change,” Lucy said, gesturing to Kieran's clothes that were still covering her body. “Then I’ll go and have a word with the footie team for you.”

“Thanks,” Luke said as he sat up on his bed and let out a long sigh.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Kieran said, smiling as he gave Luke’s hand a gentle squeeze. “What kind of ‘fairy godmother’ would I be if I just left you in the lurch?”

“We still really, really owe you for today,” Luke said softly as Lucy headed back to her own room. “God know if I’d had to wear Lucy’s skirt… Heh. Like I had to a million times when growing up.”

“Well, you won’t need to anymore,” Kieran chuckled.

“Well, fingers crossed,” Luke snorted. “And fingers crossed that you won’t need to, either!”

“Yeah,” Kieran chuckled nervously as he and Luke said goodbye to Lucy with a hug each.

Lucy let out a sigh as she returned to her room and immediately stripped out of Kieran’s jeans and sweatshirt, examining herself mirror clad only in her camisole and panties- something that at least helped her to feel slightly feminine as she covered them with Kieran's clothes. Acting almost automatically, Lucy pulled on a tight dark grey turtleneck, followed by a pair of opaque black tights and a black pencil mini skirt, before sitting down in front of her mirror and carefully reapplying the make-up she’d so hastily scrubbed away that morning.

As Lucy ‘reassembled’ herself, she gazed in the mirror at the teenage girl staring back at her and smiled. She once again felt 'whole', and the face that stared back at her was unquestionably that of a girl. However, Lucy wondered whether or not she'd ever be able to see the girl inside without any make-up on her face. After all, Luke didn't need make-up to see the boy inside- quite the opposite, in fact. After slipping her feet into her favourite pair of flats, Lucy grabbed her handbag and made her way out of her dorm, steeling herself for the inevitable confrontation as she headed toward the sports fields.

“Just a sec,” the unmistakable Lincolnshire accent of James Thorn said as Lucy knocked on the door to the football team’s changing room. Lucy braced herself for the inevitable jeers and catcalls from the other men in the room- and the inevitable unwanted memories of her own times in such changing rooms when she was at school. “Oh, hi Lucy!”

“H- hi,” Lucy said nervously as many of the other men on the team- some almost in a state of total undress- cheered and whistled at her.

“Heh, trust me, you wouldn’t be cheering if you knew what was underneath that skirt!” One of the boys in the team shouted in a coarse Yorkshire accent.

“Shut it, Barnes,” James snorted. “How can I help, Lucy?”

“Ehh, it- it’s Luke,” Lucy replied quietly. “He- he’s still feeling kinda unwell, he won’t be able to play today.”

“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that,” James sighed. “Is he still feeling the effects of last night?”

“Or PMS?” Barnes yelled, smiling smugly as he earned laughs from several of his teammates.

“Seriously, one more word and I’ll fucking bench you,” James threatened.

“Oh sure,” Barnes snorted. “You’re really going to drop your best striker for using his freedom of speech?”

“Let- let’s go somewhere else to talk,” James sighed as he led Lucy away from the jeering boys.

“Does- does Luke really get changed in there with those guys?” Lucy asked, the thought making her feel uneasy.

“What, those guys?” James asked. “Nah, that’s our A side, Luke plays for the C side. Most of the A side players don’t have any brains above their ankles, heh. Great for playing football, not for much else. But- anyway. Tell Luke I hope he gets well soon, if he wants, I’ll keep him in mind in case there are any more openings on the B side.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said uneasily- something that wasn’t lost on the young man.

“What- what’s up?” James asked.

“Hmm?” Lucy replied. “Oh, it- it’s nothing, I don’t want to keep you from your match.”

“Nah, it’s okay, I’ve got a couple of minutes,” James shrugged, before smiling sympathetically. “Are you worried about your brother?”

“Maybe a little,” Lucy mumbled. “It’s just- ugh. I mean, you know me, my history… I’ve kinda got, like, first-hand experience of boys’ locker rooms and- well, I’m kinda worried that, you know, Luke doesn’t- well, not much, anyway…”

“It’s okay that you’re worried about him, but you shouldn’t be,” James reassured the young woman. “Luke can look after himself, he’s a lot stronger than you think.”

“Yeah, I wish that were true,” Lucy sighed sadly.

The twins spent the rest of their Saturday and the whole of Sunday staying in their rooms studying, watching TV and trying to take their minds off of their encounter with their father- and the fact that their next encounter would be along a lot sooner than either twin would’ve preferred. It came as a relief to Luke and Lucy when Monday came around again, as it marked a return to their normal routine of studying, but also the return of the rest of their friends.

“Ugh, I am SO sorry you two went through that,” Susie sighed. “If I’d known I’d have jumped on the first train from Newcastle, I really would.”

“Me too,” Gavin concurred. “What help I’d have been, anyway.”

“Which is probably ‘none’, no offence,” Luke sighed, before smiling. “But I do appreciate the gesture.”

“And thankfully we had the hero of the hour around to help!” Lucy said, giving Kieran’s hand a gentle squeeze and making the young man blush.

“Honestly, it was nothing,” Kieran mumbled. “I saw a friend in need and helped out, that’s all. Any one of you would’ve done the same.”

“Yeah, but we weren’t able to,” Priya sighed. “And my clothes wouldn’t fit Luke anyway.”

“And there’s no way in hell I’d ever want to wear them, no offence,” Luke snorted, making the Indian girl giggle.

“Honestly, none taken!” Priya chuckled. “I just- I just really wish there was more I could do to help you. Both of you.”

“Same here,” Claudia said quietly.

“Honestly, this-“ Lucy said, gesturing to the seven people sat at the table, “this is fine, just knowing that we have friends who’ll be there for us, it- it’s more than you know.”

“I can vouch for that from experience,” Priya said softly, while Lucy bit her lip, worrying that the 'locker room environment', especially compared to her dance class, would mean that Luke would need the support far more than she would.

“Anyway,” Luke said. “Anyone got any plans for Halloween on Wednesday?”

“You mean, ‘are there any parties we can crash’?” Gavin asked with a grin.

“And I thought it was only Lucy who was supposed to be able to read my mind,” Luke said, sharing a joke with his sister as they and their friends relaxed. However, while he was genuinely looking forward to his first university Halloween party, he was more concerned with distracting himself from the possibility of a meeting with one or both of his parents the following weekend- or worse still, Christmas...

After their lunch was over, the twins returned to Lucy's room, where they both prepared themselves for what they hoped would be the most help in easing their anxiety from the weekend.

“Well, I can definitely see how that must’ve been a stressful weekend,” Dr Adams said over Lucy's speakerphone. “What’s most important is how are you feeling now?”

“Happy to be back to- well, normal, I guess,” Luke replied. “By which I mean, like, my studies and all that.”

“We’re probably the only people in the country who actually look forward to Mondays, heh,” Lucy chuckled.

“Well, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that,” Dr Adams chuckled. “But this is something that will need to be addressed sooner or later. What would you have done if your friend Kieran hadn’t been with you?”

“I- I don’t even want to think about it,” Lucy mumbled in reply, before letting out a long, frustrated sigh. “Yeah, but I know I do need to think about it. Heh, as well as liking Mondays, we’re probably the only people in the country under the age of 25 who AREN’T looking forward to Christmas.”

“Indeed,” Dr Adams said. “Have you thought yet about how you want to approach coming out to your parents?”

“Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl,” Luke replied quietly. “But not as much as the thought of being a girl again.”

“Same here,” Lucy mumbled. “I mean, like, about being a boy again.”

“I understand,” Dr Adams said. “Well, I am here to help, as always. But you both need to understand that what happened this weekend could easily happen again. I don’t want to make you paranoid, but you need to take this seriously if you are to live permanently as your preferred gender. You are both still serious about ultimately transitioning, I assume?”

“200%,” Luke replied confidently.

“Absolutely,” Lucy said. “And I guess we knew it wouldn’t be easy, but- ugh.”

“But that’s why you want my help,” Dr Adams said softly. “And that’s what I’m here to do- to help you.”

“I know,” Lucy sighed. “But I- I just keep thinking about, you know, all the worst-case scenarios. Like, my friend Priya’s got two transgender friends in London, and she’s told us about how one of them was actually kidnapped by their father and forced to live as their birth gender, and- well, I doubt our parents would do that, but- yeah.”

“And I wouldn’t put it past our grandparents,” Luke snorted.

“Well we’ll file that thought under ‘absolute worst-case scenario’ for now,” Dr Adams said softly. “And we’ll worry about your grandparents later. For now, it’s important to recognise and acknowledge the positives in your lives, too. I want you to tell me about some of the positives that have happened to you over the last week.”

“Not many,” Luke snorted. “Well, I did get picked for the uni football team’s B side, that’s something, even if I didn’t get to play in the end because of my dad.”

“Though I did talk to the team captain on Luke’s behalf,” Lucy said. “And he has said that the opportunity will come round again. Though-“ Lucy bit her lip as she paused, her brother and her counsellor waiting expectantly.

“…Though what?” Luke asked as Lucy continued to fidget. As much as she wanted to talk about the teasing she'd received from Barnes- and her worry that Luke had to endure the same, if not worse- she knew that Luke wouldn't appreciate her bringing that up while he was unprepared to talk about it.

“Ehh- not important,” Lucy said with a smile. “Things are still going good for me in the dance society, I’m having a lot of fun, though it’s mostly just the chance to hang out with girls- sorry, OTHER girls who accept me for who I am.”

“I’m glad you’re continuing to make friends,” Dr Adams said. “It’s good to focus on the positives in your lives, that you have your friends, and each other to rely on.”

“Aye,” Luke whispered.

“Always,” Lucy said as she reached across and gave her brother’s hand a gentle, supportive squeeze. Both Luke and Lucy mused on how they did have a lot to be grateful for, how there were many positives in their lives- but how a confrontation with their family was inevitable…