“Come on then, hopalong, we ain’t got all day!” Paul said with a chuckle, which became a full blown laugh when his son regarded him with an angry glare.

“It DOES still hurt, ya know,” Luke replied as he hobbled into the house, carrying a shopping bag in one hand and leaning on a crutch with the other arm.

“Aye, and tha doctors say it’ll hurt more in tha long run if ya don’t regularly exercise it,” Paul retorted. “And yas got ta keep those lungs o’ yours working too!”

“I only had a VERY mild case of Covid,” Luke reminded his father as he dropped the shopping bag in the kitchen, before returning to the living room and exchanging a tired smile with his sister. “…Hi Lucy.”

“Hi Luke,” Lucy said with a tired smile as she briefly looked up from her phone. “Good trip out?”

“Well, aye,” Luke replied with a one-armed shrug. “I mean, it were Tesco and not Ibiza, but- yeah.” The twins shared a smirk at the young man’s joke, even as they both tried not to fidget.

It had been just over five weeks since Luke broke his leg, and three weeks since he was discharged home from the hospital and, in that time, the twins had barely spent any time together, especially when compared to how close they'd been before the young man's injury. With Luke attending classes remotely from Newcastle while Lucy remained in Durham, and with their workload increasing as they approached the end of the academic year, opportunities to interact outside of class or coursework sessions had been extremely limited. The twins made a conscious effort to remain connected with regular Zoom calls in the evenings, but Luke’s need to keep up with his exercises and catch up on coursework, along with his painkillers making him drowsy, had seriously affected his availability for fun. Although the young trans woman was able to rely on her other friends for support, the fact was that there were things she could only talk about with her brother — things she couldn't even talk about with her counsellor and certainly not with any of her friends. While the start of the Easter holiday had offered more opportunities for the twins to talk, Luke's busy schedule had meant that opportunities to simply sit down and talk were still limited, although, when they did, the twins were disturbed to find that the events of the semester meant that had very little to talk about.

“D- do you need a hand with that?” Lucy asked as Luke hobbled through the living room with another shopping bag.

“I’m not a TOTAL invalid,” Luke snorted in reply, before sighing at the upset look on his sister’s face. “…Sorry, Luce.”

“S’okay,” Lucy shrugged, before turning attention back to her phone.

“Chatting with anyone?” Luke asked, dropping the last of the shopping in the kitchen before sitting down next to his sister with a loud sigh.

“Nah, Amazon,” Lucy replied, showing her brother the selection of black skirts on her screen. “Figured I’ve got birthday money burning a hole in my purse, and I’m gonna need a new smart suit for interviews, like for jobs, or if we, like, do a Masters.”

“Yeah, think I’m pretty far from Masters level right now,” Luke chuckled, before fidgeting awkwardly. “And I can’t imagine you have THAT much money burning a hole….”

“I thought — I thought you didn’t want to talk about that?” Lucy asked hesitantly. “I mean, we knew they probably wouldn’t…“

“Yeah, I- I’m not talking about Nanna and Grandpa,” Luke scoffed. “I mean, like, in general, money’s a bit tight, that sort of thing.”

“Well — aye, I guess,” Lucy said.

“Though you’d have expected at least a card….” Luke grumbled as he remembered the twins’ birthday exactly two weeks earlier, and the celebration they’d held the day before that.

With the twins’ twentieth birthdays falling on a Monday, the family had decided to celebrate the previous day, rather than make them both wait an extra week or open their presents separately — neither option appealing to the twins as much as the Sunday celebration. Lucy had taken the first train on that Sunday morning from Durham to Newcastle, and upon arriving at her home had wasted no time in exchanging a big hug with her brother for the first time in weeks, although it had felt like forever to the both of them.

“Hey sis,” Luke had said, his voice filled with apprehension, but with a sense of relief at finally being with his twin again, too.

“Hey bro,” Lucy had replied, barely keeping her emotions in check. “Heh, long time no see, eh?”

“Other than all tha times yas been chatting on a screen!” Paul had playfully chastised his children, who were both forced to concede his point. “Now come on, yas got two big piles of presents on tha sofa that need opening!” The twins needed no further prompting, and immediately began to open their carefully wrapped gifts.

Luke had a wide grin on his face as he unwrapped, among other gifts, two new video games, two smart blue shirts and a bottle of designer aftershave, while Lucy smiled politely as she unwrapped a new fancy dress, a new pair of dainty flat shoes, a bottle of expensive perfume and a chunky resin bangle. As had always been the case, the twins also received cards with Amazon gift vouchers from their grandparents living in Spain but, unlike their previous birthdays, they received nothing from their paternal grandparents — not even a card.

“I- I’ll talk to them in tha week,” Paul had said in reply to his parents’ snub of his children — though Luke and Lucy could easily tell he wasn’t relishing that prospect, and didn’t expect anything to come of the call — and sure enough, in the two weeks that had passed since the birthday, nothing more had been said of the issue.

Fortunately, on their actual birthday the following day, the twins were able to celebrate with their university friends — or rather, Lucy was able to celebrate with them in a socially distanced setting, while Luke remained in Newcastle, only able to join the ‘party’ on a screen from his sofa. When the Easter holidays had finally begun, Luke took every opportunity he could get to get off his sofa and try to exercise his leg, though this of course meant less time to simply sit and talk with Lucy — especially when the topic turned to their paternal grandparents.

“Meh, I think we both knew that — well, ‘when,’ like, not everyone would accept us,” Lucy said with a shrug, even as she felt just as angry as her brother.

“Aye, I know,” Luke sighed, as he dragged the coffee table closer to the sofa and rested his injured leg on it. “And I guess it’s not like we don’t have friends — good friends, even. I texted Susie and Gav in the car to see if they want to meet up at any point — somewhere close by, obviously.”

“Cool,” Lucy replied. “Any idea when we’re meeting up? I assume I AM invited, right?”

“Well — aye, obviously,” Luke replied with a chuckle. “What we do, we do together, right?”

“Always,” Lucy said firmly. “Well, apart from broken legs and Covid, anyway…”

“Trust me, you’re better off without either,” Luke snorted as he tried to make his injured limb comfortable. “But whatever, we’ve got lost time to make up for, right?”

“Well — aye, that’s true!” Lucy chuckled. “Any idea where we can meet up with Susie and Gav? I wouldn’t fancy going on the Metro with your leg like that….”

“Nah, I’ll be fine,” Luke said with a dismissive wave. “Won’t be that many people on the Metro anyway, we’re still in what, tier 3?”

“Something like that,” Lucy replied. “Though it might still be packed, what with it being the holiday and all.”

“Meh, in that case I guess you’ll just have to be my carer,” Luke joked as his sister rolled her eyes. “Though- though it can wait until tomorrow, as — don’t tell dad — but I REALLY need to rest my leg after that shopping trip, heh.”

“Scared he’ll tell you to ‘man up?’ ” Lucy teased.

“Don’t even joke about that,” Luke snorted.

“Wha… dad hasn’t been THAT bad, has he?” Lucy asked, frowning as her brother sighed.

“…I’m still in the WhatsApp group for the footy team,” Luke mumbled in reply. “Just keeping up, like, even if there’s no way I’ll be able to play again before September, if at all. These last few weeks since the- heh, the ‘accident,’ Barnes has been worse than ever.”

“Why is he even still on the team?” Lucy sneered. “He literally GBHes you and gloats about it, and the uni do nothing?”

“…It’s a broken leg, hardly ‘grievous bodily harm,’ ” Luke mumbled in reply. “And there’s no way of proving he did it deliberately, accidents and injuries happen all the time.”

“Well — yeah,” Lucy conceded. “But surely the gloating about it would be enough to kick him off the team?”

“Freedom of speech,” Luke replied with a shrug.

“There’s a big difference between ‘free speech’ and ‘verbal harassment,’ ” Lucy scoffed.

“But a very, VERY small difference between ‘verbal harassment’ and ‘banter,’ ” Luke reminded his sister. “Look, can we — can we change the topic, please? I don’t even want to give that smug Yorkshire twat the satisfaction of us talking about him even if there is no way for him to know about it.”

“You got it,” Lucy said with a nod, before smirking. “…Still recovering from Saturday, then?”

“There was nothing to recover from!” Luke replied with a snort of laughter. “Claudia’s party ended at what, 8pm? Okay, she had to go and eat with her family, but still….”

“Yeah, but, like, painkillers and alcohol?” Lucy asked.

“I was okay,” Luke shrugged. “You drank more than I did, anyway.”

“What, two and a half glasses of wine?” Lucy retorted. “And besides, I’m, like, ‘bigger’ than you….” The twins paused as an awkward silence filled the room — neither Luke nor Lucy needed reminding why she was considerably taller than he was.

“Alright, that’s tha shopping all away,” Paul said as he re-entered the living room, seemingly unaware of the sudden tension between his children. “Thanks for yas help by tha way, Lucy.”

“Ah — sorry, was a bit distracted….” Lucy mumbled, her cheeks flushing.

“Not that I want ta sound like yas granddad, but whoever invented smartphones has a LOT ta answer for,” Paul said with a derisive snort of laughter. “And I’m just pulling yas leg, I know the two of yas want to catch up, get back ta the whole ‘twin thing’ properly. God knows you’ve definitely earned this holiday, heh.”

“…It’s not like you HAVEN’T earned the bank holiday,” Lucy replied. “Especially as you’ve had to, like….”

“…Work from home and wait on me hand and foot?” Luke asked with a snort.

“Neither o’ which I minded doing,” Paul said firmly. “Especially not tha waiting. I’m ya dad, I’m meant ta look after you when you ca — umm, well….”

“’Can’t look after myself?’ ” Luke asked. “The sooner I can get rid of these crutches, the better….”

“Let’s tone down tha talk about ‘getting rid of crutches,’ if ya don’t mind,” Paul said with a quiet chuckle, before biting his lip as his attempted joke earned him angry glares from his children. “Anyways, I overheard yas talking about that video party ya were at on Saturday, got any more o’ those planned for the holiday?”

“Not really,” Lucy replied. “I think it’s Priya’s sister’s birthday next week, but we don’t know her all that well, so we probably won’t get an invite, even if it is just a video one. Maybe if we’d been able to actually go to London at any point in the last twelve months….”

“At least I had the sense to break my leg at the one time in human history when it doesn’t matter, heh,” Luke snorted.

“…I would say ‘that’s tha spirit,’ but it really isn’t,” Paul sighed. “Yas not wrong, though. I dunno. At least by summer ya leg will be a bit better, and hopefully tha country will be too. Though I’ll repeat: yas both need time away from screens this holiday as well, some proper fresh air.”

“I literally just got back from the shops,” Luke argued.

“Which I drove ya ta, door ta door,” Paul retorted, before sighing. “Okay, fair enough. It’s yas holiday, if yas want ta spend it on your phones — that’s up ta yas. And yas have made plans for tomorrow, at least. Just — I thought tha whole point o’ coming out, o’ living yas life tha way yas wanted to was so that yas didn’t have ta hide yaselves away all the time?”

“The ‘point’ of coming out was to be able to live our lives on our terms,” Luke replied. “Well, ours and Chris Whitty’s terms, anyway.”

“Well — can’t argue Britain’s chief medical officer, I guess,” Paul said with a tired chuckle. “I’m gonna head out ta tha garden, give tha grass a quick mow, just in case either of yas need anything.”

“We’ll be fine, ta,” Luke said, exchanging a brief, appreciative smile with his father before being left alone in the living room with his sister and the rapid-fire message notifications her phone was receiving. “…Someone’s popular today, then?” Luke smirked as his sister chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“Priya’s added me, Claudia and Phoebe into a group chat with her sister and a couple of her friends,” Lucy explained. “Apparently her sister uploaded an Instagram photo yesterday of her wearing a home made Playboy bunny costume — like, for Easter — and it’s descended into a conversation about how skimpy is TOO skimpy when it comes to costumes, and what was the skimpiest costume everyone’s ever worn.”

“…Fair enough,” Luke said with a smirk. “And your contribution was…?”

“To say that you shouldn’t be thinking about your twin sister in a skimpy costume!” Lucy replied, smiling as her brother laughed loudly. “Seriously, though, I don’t think I even own any, like, costumes. Unless, like, you count all the women’s clothing in my wardrobe….”

“Which I obviously don’t, and neither should you,” Luke said firmly.

“I know, I know,” Lucy sighed, glancing briefly at the knee-length denim skirt and dark tights that covered her legs. “Sometimes I do still feel like, you know, an interloper in these conversations, like a fraud….”

“Which you ain’t,” Luke reassured the young woman. “And besides, you’re not even Priya’s only trans friend, are you?”

“Nope, and the other two are also in this chat,” Lucy replied. “Ashley — the younger of the two — shared a photo of her in a tutu with clear straps and a low back that made her look like a ‘ballet bunny,’ and she isn’t even eighteen yet! And as for Laura — well, I can give you the address of three websites where she’s modelling actual SWIMWEAR. And not, like, frumpy swim dresses, but actual bikinis that look like they’d be too big on a Barbie doll, let alone her. So you’ll forgive me if I feel a little ‘inadequate’ by comparison.”

“Luce, I’m 5’ 4”, thin as a rake and I spent most of the last eighteen months trying to keep up with literally an entire football team of tall, athletic guys,” Luke reminded his sister. “Okay, it didn’t exactly end well for me, but my point is that I know what ‘inadequate’ feels like. And I don’t feel like any less of a man as a result.”

“I never said I feel like any less of a woman,” Lucy mumbled as she turned her attention back to her phone.

“In what other way would you feel ‘inadequate,’ then?” Luke asked, sighing as his sister failed to answer the question. “I hope you talk to Dr Adams about this, and not just me — not that I’m not happy to help, of course, but…“

“Yes, I talk to her,” Lucy interrupted. “I- I’m sorry, Luke, I- ugh. Without uni to, like, ‘distract’ me, things are a bit — yeah. Got lots of time to think about, well, things. Got nothing BUT time right now….”

“Try having nothing but time and not even being able to walk properly,” Luke retorted with a snort of laughter, frowning as he failed to cheer his sister up. “But — seriously, Luce. Don’t measure yourself against other people’s standards. So what if Priya’s friends like posing in tutus or bikinis? It doesn’t mean you have to in order to be a girl. Now if you WANT to, then there’s nothing stopping you, right?”

“Other than the fact that I’d look stupid?” Lucy mumbled.

“…You’re literally the one who just said I shouldn’t be thinking about you in skimpy clothing,” Luke chuckled.

“You brought it up!” Lucy retorted.

“Not the ‘looks’ side of things, I didn’t,” Luke stated. “I know how I ‘looked’ when stood next to the rest of the footy team. It didn’t make me FEEL any less manly, just like you wearing a — well, whatever, really — should make you feel any less girly. And believe me, I have eighteen years of experience with that shit. I may have looked like any other teenage girl when I was wearing a school uniform with a skirt, or a swimsuit, or whatever, but I always, always felt out of place. It’s surely the same for you, right?”

“Well… yeah,” Lucy conceded. “Being a foot taller than a lot of my friends — hell, being nearly a foot taller than my own brother doesn’t help the ‘out of place’ feelings any, though.”

“Maybe when we’re finally allowed to PROPERLY hang out with people again, it’ll help you feel better,” Luke mused.

“I hope so,” Lucy sighed, though she remained unconvinced by her brother's reassurances.

The twins spent the rest of their afternoon alternating between browsing the internet, watching television and catching up on their coursework. After dinner, though, as evening began to draw in, the twins headed up to Luke’s bedroom for what had become a nightly tradition: not just for them, but for all of their friends as well.

“Hey you two!” Priya said excitedly as the twins joined the ongoing video call. “I hope you don’t mind, but I thought, with it being a bank holiday, we could have an ‘extended’ chat today? Feel free to invite anyone else you want!” Luke and Lucy nervously giggled as they waved at the faces on the screen, which included not just their friends Claudia, Phoebe, Gavin, Kieran and Susie, but also all of Priya’s friends from London and two girls from Coventry that Lucy recognised as being Claudia’s friends as well as a few faces that neither twin recognised.

“After all, you can never have too many friends, right?” Laura Ruddock said from the top right corner of the screen, smiling smugly while Lucy again felt inadequate at how effortlessly feminine the nineteen-year-old girl looked, even with no make-up on her face or filter on her screen.

“Right!” The twins cheered along with the rest of the crowd.

“And I’m glad you’re both here, actually,” Laura said as she started to stand up from her laptop.

“…As she hasn’t shown off to you guys yet,” Suri — Priya’s sister — said with an overdramatic sigh as the blonde woman leaned back toward her camera with a mock-angry glare.

“I’m not ‘showing off,’ ” Laura protested. “Okay, maybe I am, but it’s because I want to show off… this!” Laura giggled as she stood back from her camera and showed off the dress she was wearing — which instantly caught Lucy’s attention.

The dress was strapless, knee-length and clung tightly to every inch of the young woman’s body. The entire garment was made of a glittery, deep charcoal grey fabric, except for the bottom three inches of the hem, which were covered in shiny, jet-black sequins. What stood out the most, though, was the feather detail that ran around the top of the dress, drawing attention to Laura's otherwise modest cleavage. It was undoubtedly fancier than any dress — or any other item of clothing, for that matter — that Lucy owned, and Lucy felt an almost uncontrollable urge to wear it — though that urge was dampened by the knowledge that even though she and Laura shared the same 'status,' she would never be as slender or as effortlessly feminine as the blonde woman.

“That dress is GORGEOUS,” Claudia gushed as Laura did a slow twirl to show off the details of the bodice and the laced-up back. “It looks a bit expensive for a student’s budget, though….”

“It helps when you’re friends with the designer and have modelled for them before,” Laura replied with a smug grin. Makes sense that you’d be a model as well, Lucy thought to herself. “And I’m saving money by still living at home, which means I can also call on my sister to lace me into this thing, heh.”

“I was about to say, it kinda looks like a two-woman job,” Kieran teased, giggling as Laura rolled her eyes.

“BOY,” the blonde woman snorted at the Manchester native’s teasing. “But you’re not wrong, heh. And it came with a threat from my mum to ground us both if she ever catches Lily wearing this, heh.”

“Can you technically ground an adult?” asked one of Laura’s friends that the twins didn’t recognise, a tall girl with glasses.

“My mum probably could,” Laura snorted. “But I’m glad you spoke up, Miss Cartman, as I know for a fact that this dress would look GORGEOUS on you. Same goes for you, Miss Miller!” Lucy paused briefly before responding — even though she had legally been ‘Miss Miller’ for eighteen months, she still found it strange whenever she was addressed by that title.

“Wh… me?” Lucy asked with a chuckle.

“You’re the only ‘Miss Miller’ here,” Luke reminded his sister, giving her a playful shove as she blushed.

“Damn right you are,” Laura giggled. “And not that you aren’t already gorgeous and girly, but trust me, you — and Megan — would look STUNNING in this dress. Maybe pair it with some thin tights, elbow-length black gloves, high heels — I mean, obviously — a chiffon stole and tie your hair into an updo, and you will be the belle of ANY ball.”

“Especially when I’m banging said updo into every chandelier in the room,” Megan protested, sighing as she saw the confused looks on many of the call's faces. “…I’m 6’ 2” barefoot, as Laura well knows, hence why my supposed BFF is constantly trying to get me to buy shoes with, like, a five or six-inch heel. And before you ask — not that I’d consider it an insult — I am cis, I’ve just picked up ‘giant genes’ from god only knows where, as my dad’s 5’ 9” and my mum’s 5’ 3”. Not that being cis has stopped me from experiencing more than my fair share of transphobia over the years.”

“Even one incident of transphobia is more than anyone’s fair share, cis or trans,” stated another of Laura’s friends, a ginger-haired girl with freckles and a face filled with righteous anger.

“Too right,” Laura said, before smirking again. “So I’ll put you down as a ‘maybe’ for the dress then, Meg. Lucy? Is this dress gorgeous and girly enough for you? Though I mean, bare shoulders AND living near the North Pole…”

“Hey, watch it, southerner!” Susie chastised Laura, making the blonde woman giggle before Lucy had the chance to reply.

“And is it just a coincidence that you’re shilling this dress to the two girls who’ve had birthdays in the last two weeks?” Megan asked, smirking as her blonde best friend rolled her eyes.

“Yes, yes it is a coincidence,” Laura replied. “A coincidence that the two most recent birthday girls would flatten entire cities with their gorgeousness in this dress. Lucy?”

“I- umm,” Lucy replied hesitantly.

“Is — are you alright, Lucy?” Laura asked with genuine concern for her friend.

“Yeah, just…” Lucy replied, before sighing. “It’s not like I’ve got much to, like, ‘hold up’ a strapless dress, if you know what I mean.”

“Ah… discussion’s about to get VERY womanly. Boys — out,” Priya ordered with a semi-serious look on her face. “We’ll let you know when you can come back in. Luke — you too.”

“This is literally my bedroom,” Luke protested.

“And are you a girl?” Laura asked, smirking as the young trans man sighed and jumped off the bed. “Thought not.”

“I’ll come and get you when we’re done,” Lucy said with a smug grin.

“And as for you, MISS Miller,” Laura said, before sighing and smiling supportively. “Literally every trans girl has had the same, well, ‘anxiety’ that you’re feeling.”

“Pretty much every cis girl has too,” Suri interjected. “I’m hardly ‘curvy’ myself, heh.”

“Maybe not, but at least you’re petite,” Lucy said.

“Yeah, ‘cause being mistaken for a twelve-year-old all the time is so much better,” Suri snorted, before sighing. “I- I’m sorry, Lucy, I think — I think what we’re trying to say is that at some point, every girl has anxiety over her appearance.”

“And that’s why we have sisterhoods like the one we have right here,” Ashley — a transgender friend of Laura’s and the youngest of the assembled group — said with a proud smile on her face. “Every girl deserves to know that she’s not alone — never alone. Heh, the help you’ve all given me over the years has definitely made me a better big sister to my sisters.”

“Of course, when all else fails, a new dress IS one of the best pick-me-ups out there, hehe!” Suri giggled as Laura beamed smugly.

“If not THE best,” Laura giggled. “Well, best pick-me-up other than a big, strong MAN who can literally ‘pick me up,’ hehe!” Lucy smiled in bemusement as Laura’s friends jeered, while the blonde woman stretched a pair of thin tights over the top of her head. “Don’t worry about these, this is just a silly in-joke, heh. This dress, however, will be perfect for girls of — well, any ‘size.’ This band’s elasticated, it grips on the top of your boobs — or wherever, depending how much cleavage you want to show — and doesn’t slip, and the whole bodice is laced in so even if the top wanted to slip, the rest of your torso simply wouldn’t let it.”

“Cool,” Lucy chuckled. “Though I- I’ll think about it, heh. You’re not getting commission on these sales by any chance, are you?”

“…No, but I am on the TikToks and IG posts I make about the dress,” Laura said, blushing as her friends playfully jeered again. “And I didn’t hear any of you jeering when you got a ‘friends and family’ discount on those t-shirt bras I promoted last year?” Of course you’re an underwear model as well, thought Lucy.

“…I would jeer that too if I wasn’t wearing one of them right now,” Ashley mumbled, smirking as she lowered one sleeve of her top to show off the strap. “Comfortable bras like this have been a lifesaver ever since I started HRT, heh.”

“And not just for trans girls,” Another of Laura’s friends, a pale-skinned girl with jet black hair, mused. “I mean, sure, lacy bras are sexy, but when your nipples are sensitive it can be like wearing sandpaper.”

“Same with thongs when it’s the wrong time of the month,” Priya sighed as Lucy found her cheeks growing redder and redder at the topic of discussion. “There were some times in ballet class, both at home and in Durham, when all I wanted to do was strip off all the lycra and pull on a big, comfy pair of cotton knickers, my loosest bra and curl up on the sofa with a blanket I’d just taken out of the freez- umm, Lucy, are you... are you okay?”

“I- I’m just wondering if, like, I- I should be listening to this, heh,” Lucy mumbled.

“Why shouldn’t you?” Laura’s ginger-haired friend asked. “I mean, you ARE a girl, and, like, not just an ‘honorary girl’ either. And you are taking hormones, aren’t you?”

“For about six months now,” Lucy replied. “Not exactly as long as, well…“

“It’s long enough, trust me,” Laura said softly. “One day would be long enough. Hell, zero days would even be enough if you knew that you truly were a woman on the inside.”

“Thanks,” Lucy whispered.

“Though as this is meant to be an ‘everyone’ chat, I think we may have left the boys out a bit too long, heh!” Priya said, smiling smugly as the faces of Gavin, Kieran and the other males returned to Lucy’s screen.

“You can come back in now,” Lucy shouted, trying not to snort with laughter at the look of fury on her brother’s face as he hobbled back into the room.

“…Next time you’ve got a broken leg, I’m going into YOUR room to talk about football all day!” Luke snarled as he sat back down and elevated his injured limb.

“BOY,” the majority of the assembled women all heckled, with the notable exception of Lucy.

“Yes. And?” Luke replied with a smug grin as he was heckled again by all but one of the assembled women.

The young men and women continued to chat for another hour, the topic of conversation seemingly changing every two minutes but all those assembled took care to ensure that no one felt left out — especially not the twins. Eventually, though, the number of friends on the call started dwindling, and Luke and Lucy let out tired sighs and giggles as they logged out of the chat immediately following Priya, Susie and Gavin’s departure. However, they both frowned with confusion as immediately after they left the call, they were invited into another video chat hosted by Priya.

“…Did she forget something?” Luke asked as he accepted the chat request, only to frown with confusion as the twins found themselves alone in the chat with the Bengali girl.

“Umm… hi?” Lucy said, but before Priya could respond, they were joined on the call by Susie, Gavin and Claudia — until, before long, every one of their close friends from university was on the call.

“Hi again everyone,” Priya said with a chuckle. “Sorry if I’m holding anyone up from doing anything, but I just wanted to see how you all are — I mean, I love my London friends, but they can be a bit, like, much sometimes. Especially Laura and my sister, but seeing as they are literally in training to be drama queens — well, yeah, heh.”

“Nah, I like them,” Susie said with a shrug. “They’re fun, friendly — and Laura is, like, hotter than the surface of the Sun, heh. And not just as in ‘hot for a trans girl,’ like — umm, no offence intended, Lucy.”

“None taken,” Lucy said with a shrug, even though she couldn't help but muse on how few people have ever called her, or even thought of her as hot — Lucy imagined that she could count those people on one hand.

“Sadly, she’s also very much straight,” Priya teased, giggling as the ginger-haired girl rolled her eyes and blushed. “And has been seeing her current boyfriend for just over a year, so — yeah.”

“She can’t have ‘seen’ him THAT much over the last twelve or so months,” Susie retorted, before giggling. “Seriously though, I really hope I get to meet your London friends soon, they all seem really cool. Even if they might cause the boys to be a bit, you know, outnumbered, heh!”

"I can always invite Anthony along too," Luke mused. "For a bit of extra 'muscle,' heh."

“If it helps,” Priya replied, “if the eight of us, nine including Anthony, and the seven of them hung out together, then if I’ve got my maths right, LGBT people — which includes ALL of the boys — would outnumber cisgender straight people ten to six.”

“…It helps a little,” Kieran giggled. “And if any of your friends have any cute twin brothers, it’d help even more….”

“All either too old or too young, I’m afraid,” Priya said with a giggle. “And I wouldn’t want to try managing a long-distance relationship in the middle of a pandemic, heh. It’s tough enough just keeping up with my sister!”

“I hope you meant ‘keeping up with your sister’ in the metaphorical sense and not in this kind of way,” Luke joked as he lifted his injured leg for the camera to see. “It was hard enough keeping up with Luce even when I was in hospital with nothing to do but stare at my phone all day, heh.”

“Ugh, can imagine,” Priya sighed sadly. “Still, now that more people are getting vaccinated, hopefully Covid will be a thing of the past before long. And we’ll finally be able to get back to uni. And, more importantly: our dance studios!”

“Woohoo!” Phoebe cheered. “Now if you’d told me twelve months ago that I’d have THAT reaction to getting back into a dance studio, I would NOT have believed you.”

“Heh,” Priya said with another sad sigh. “I- I’m sorry, Phoebe, I keep talking about ‘long distance’ and forgetting you’re probably more long distance than all of us put together.”

“It’s okay,” Phoebe replied in her refined Seattle accent. “My parents understand, I mean, they’re waiting for the vaccines themselves, wearing masks everywhere, staying home when they can….”

“Or, to put it another way, they voted for Biden?” Gavin asked, smirking as the American woman rolled her eyes.

“No comment,” Phoebe replied.

“The first ever president who doesn’t hold press conferences on the White House lawn as he’s too busy yelling at teenagers to get off of it?” Gavin continued to the amusement of his British friends.

“Well, we know who we’re going to see at the Edinburgh Fringe festival when it starts again,” Susie teased her fellow Geordie, who responded with even louder laughter. “In all seriousness, though, I can’t ever remember a time when I’ve had as many friends as I do now. I mean, school absolutely SUCKED after I was outed, and I honestly thought that college would be the same. But then I met Luke and Lucy, and now I’m at uni — yeah. School kinda — kinda felt like a prison, you know? You even had the uniform and the gang culture, heh.”

“And the uniform DEFINITELY felt like a prison to me, even by itself,” Luke mused. “Heh, even being stuck in the same room for twelve months straight without being allowed to go anywhere somehow feels less confining.”

“Can imagine,” Kieran sighed. “If we’re allowed to travel this summer, we are DEFINITELY taking a trip somewhere, all of us — the more the merrier, in fact!”

“I’d totally be up for that,” Claudia said with a smile. “Do you have anywhere in particular in mind?”

“Well, half of my friends are from Newcastle, and I haven’t even been there properly yet,” Kieran replied. “Despite going to university just down the road, heh.”

“If I’m still in England at that time, I’d love to see London,” Phoebe suggested.

“Brighton might be a bit of a stereotypical suggestion, but it’d be nice to see how they live down near the equator,” Gavin suggested, laughing as the South-based students on the call rolled their eyes.

“…And then right back to Edinburgh to catch Gavin’s show,” Priya teased with a smirk.

“All of these things we’d already have done if it wasn’t for the dreaded C word,” Phoebe sighed. “But — ugh, sorry, I didn’t mean to bring everyone down, heh.”

“Hardly your fault, unless you came to England via Wuhan,” Susie snorted. “And I would ask what everyone’s plans are for the rest of the night, but I think we all already know, heh.”

“Reading, reading and more reading,” Priya replied with a sigh. “Suri’s still on a chat with Laura and some of their uni friends, I might see if I can invade that. Heh, I haven’t had the chance to meet THEM either, despite me being back in London!”

“But — but they’re all cool with Laura, aren’t they?” Lucy asked hesitantly. “I mean, like, hanging out with a trans girl?”

“Well, I mean, she doesn’t advertise it, but she doesn’t, like, deny it either when asked about it,” Priya replied with a shrug. “And she has the same tattoo that Jamie-Lee Burke and Stephanie Abbott have, so... I guess they’re okay? I dunno. But if they weren’t, I know Suri wouldn’t hang out with them either. I mean, it’s not like the two of us haven’t faced discrimination either.”

“Can’t argue with that, I suppose,” Lucy said quietly.

“And I don’t suppose you get many ‘Barneses’ at drama school, heh,” Luke said with a derisive snort of laughter.

“Who’s won more BAFTAs recently, Graham Linehan or Russell T Davies?” Gavin asked with a smug chuckle.

“At this rate, you’re the one who’s going to end up winning the most BAFTAs!” Susie teased her friend, earning laughs from all of her friends. “In the meantime, though, I still have a degree to study for, and these proteins aren’t gonna study themselves, heh. I’ll see all of you tomorrow — well, all the Geordies on the call, anyway, hehe!”

“See ya!” Luke chuckled as the ginger-haired woman left the call.

The other students gradually dispersed over the next few minutes, including the twins. With the call finished, Lucy elegantly rose from her brother’s bed and headed toward the door, only to be stopped as her brother gently grabbed her arm.

“Hey,” Luke whispered softly. “Are you — are you okay?”

“Hmm?” Lucy replied, confused by her brother’s concern. “Sure, fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just — what you asked about Laura,” Luke replied. “You weren’t just asking if they were okay with Laura as, like, an individual, were you?”

“…Was it THAT obvious?” Lucy whispered, biting her lip to keep her emotions in control.

“To me, aye,” Luke replied. “Maybe it’s ‘cause I’ve known you for twenty years or because I’m in the same boat, but — yeah.”

“Not EXACTLY the same boat,” Lucy snorted, gently flicking the few wispy hairs on her brother’s chin. “You have to admit, you pass a LOT more than I do.”

“I wouldn’t say I ‘pass,’ ” Luke snorted. “It’s just the double standard of no one giving a shit about a woman wearing trousers or baggy clothes. Heh, or even football boots any more.”

“But someone born male wearing a skirt and make-up will cause the world to end?” Lucy asked, smiling as her brother sighed and nodded. “That kind of mentality will never make sense to me. Who exactly am I meant to be hurting by dressing like this?”

“I dunno,” Luke shrugged. “I try not to think about bullies, how sad and small their lives have to be to get off on — well, you know.”

“Like Barnes?” Lucy asked, grimacing as a look of pure fury spread across her brother’s face.

“…Let’s just say I won’t shed any tears if he ever ends up with a broken leg,” Luke spat. “Or neck, or whatever. But I choose not to think about the sad bastard. You should do the same about any dickheads who give you a hard time.”

“Easier said than done,” Lucy sighed.

“Maybe true,” Luke sighed. “But think of it this way: we’ve already done the hard part, right? Mum and dad know who the REAL us are. We’re taking hormones, we’ve got loads of friends, and most importantly, we can actually see each other face to face again. I mean, my leg aside, life is good, right?”

“Better than I’ve ever known it,” Lucy replied, smiling as she exchanged a hug with her brother before returning to her own room.

The twins spent the rest of the evening studying, before opting for an early night ahead of their trip out the following day. As a result, they were awake early the following morning and, after Lucy showered and Luke washed (not wanting to risk damaging his cast in the shower), they wasted no time in getting ready for the day ahead. For Luke, this entailed simply combing his hair, pulling on his chest-binding vest, his trusty Newcastle United shirt and a pair of loose jeans, followed by his special outdoor sock over his cast and his favourite brown jacket.

Lucy, however, intended to make a statement following her feelings of inadequacy during the previous evening's chat with Laura and her friends. She didn’t intend to wear anything as formal as the dress the blonde trans girl had modelled the previous day, but she didn’t intend to be a slouch either, so she eschewed her usual look of her university hoodie, a denim skirt and leggings in favour of something less 'casual.' After stretching a pair of thin black tights over her hairless legs, she stepped into a short tartan skirt she’d bought with her birthday money, musing on how much shorter it was than most of her other skirts. A clingy black top with a low-cut round neck followed, along with a cropped black leather jacket and a pair of shoes with a 1.5” wedge heel and a thin ankle strap. After checking that her plain but elegant make-up was free of flaws, she grabbed her favourite handbag and headed down the stairs to where her brother was waiting.

“Took your time,” Luke teased, earning an eye roll from his sister as she opened the door for him.

“Really?” Lucy asked. “No comment on how I look?”

“Like I’ve said a million times before, any comment would be inappropriate coming from your twin brother,” Luke replied. “Though that is a look I haven’t seen on you before.”

“Thanks, I think,” Lucy chuckled, before taking a deep breath as she stepped out into the spring air and immediately shivered, a sudden feeling of vulnerability washing over her as the world stretched out before her.

In the safety of her bedroom, she had felt confident and feminine. She looked — and more importantly, felt — delicate, girlish, and maybe even sexy. However, in her room, she’d only had to convince an audience of one. Out on the street, she’d have to convince everyone — and Covid had meant that it had been a long time since she’d presented herself to the world in such a manner. Lucy knew that she wasn’t alone — her brother would stand by her as he always had, as would Susie and Gavin — but she wished that was enough to fight off her paranoia. Paranoia that was not helped when she saw her and Luke’s oldest friend approach them while wearing nothing but a hoodie and a pair of old, ripped jeans with no make-up on her face, yet still looking effortlessly feminine — more feminine even than Lucy, in the tall trans girl's mind at least.

“Hey guys!” Susie said with a wide grin as she approached, but remained two metres away from the twins. “Gav not here yet?”

“Not heard from him yet,” Luke replied as he and Lucy donned their facemasks. “What’s the plan for today, then? Just heading to the Metro Centre to hang out?”

“Aye, sounds good to me,” Susie replied. “I mean, it doesn’t sound like MUCH, but after the last twelve months….”

“Totally,” Lucy concurred. “It’ll be nice to do some actual shopping other than on my phone, heh.”

“Irony being that you’re going with two guys and one girl who exclusively shops on her phone, Covid or no Covid,” Susie retorted, smirking as the tall girl giggled. “But I can make an exception this one time, hehe!”

“Me too, as long as we stop at GAME as well,” Luke chuckled. “Want to pre-order the new Resident Evil game that's coming out next month.”

“If you insist, BOY,” Lucy teased, giggling as a smug smile spread across her brother’s face.

“You’re feeling sassy today, Luce!” Susie teased her friend. “Looking hot, too!”

“Thanks!” Lucy said, grateful for the validation as she posed to show off her short skirt to her friend. “I felt I kinda, like, had to ‘up my game’ after yesterday’s call, heh.”

“Hmm, funny that I didn’t,” Susie replied as she showed off her well-worn jeans and loose hoodie, before sighing sympathetically. “But seriously, I do get where you’re coming from. Priya’s London friends would make anyone feel, well, ‘inadequate,’ I guess.”

“But like I’ve said, it’s not a competition,” Luke added. “God knows there are plenty of trans guys out there who are taller than me, more muscular than me, have actual, proper facial hair rather than whatever the hell I have going on on my chin and also have, well, ‘attachments.’ And probably don’t have hollow bones either, heh.”

“And I’m willing to bet that most of them would give their left — well, leg — for a date with Lucy,” Susie said, giggling as Lucy blushed. “And I’d also be willing to bet that if it wasn’t for Covid, both of you would now be in a relationship. With — with other people, like, not — well…“

“We guessed,” Luke chuckled, before sighing sadly as they saw the fourth member of their group approach.

“Hey, you three,” Gavin said with a tired sigh of his own as he rolled along the pavement in his wheelchair.

“Gav, mate,” Luke said gently. “If you’re not feeling up to today, we could always…”

“I am absolutely, 100% up for today,” Gavin interrupted, before taking another sigh. “My body, on the other hand, isn’t. AGAIN. So I don’t need pity, but I do kinda need someone to push this thing for me before my arms fall off, heh.”

“Girls, looks like you’re both playing nursemaid today,” Luke said with a smug grin as he gestured to his crutches, while Susie grabbed the handles of Gavin’s wheelchair and began to push him toward the nearest Metro station.

“Don’t get used to this,” Susie said, before letting out a quiet giggle of her own.

It didn’t take long for the four friends to reach the station and, after buying their tickets, they headed down to the platform to wait for their train to Gateshead. However, as they waited, they quickly found themselves attracting unwanted attention.

“Hey look, the freak circus is in town,” the four friends heard a sneering teenaged voice shout, immediately making them all tense up.

“Just ignore them,” Lucy sighed, even as she felt tears start to well in her eyes. “Petty little men with petty little minds and petty little dicks.”

“What did you just say!?” The same teenager who had heckled the group yelled, his amusement being instantly replaced by rage. “You don’t fucking say that to me you dirty fucking tranny!” Lucy bit her lip as fear and anger caused every nerve ending in her body to stand on end, but held her nerve and kept walking along with her friends.

“Luce,” Luke whispered. “Maybe we should…“

“I SAID YOU DON’T FUCKING WELL SAY THAT TO ME!” The teenager screamed in a barely coherent voice as he suddenly charged toward the group.

Lucy didn’t hear what happened next — all she was aware of was the feeling of two hands on her back roughly shoving her forward, causing her to lose her balance and go crashing to the floor. As she fell, she tumbled into her brother, who landed awkwardly on his injured leg — though any concern for his own safety was swiftly dismissed as he looked up to see his sister lying prone on the edge of the platform, her head and right arm hanging over the edge as two teenagers — including, Luke assumed, the one who had shouted at them — descended on her and began kicking and stamping on her legs.

The assault lasted for less than ten seconds, but to the twins, it felt like an eternity. Luke had never felt as helpless as he did then, seeing his sister be set on by the teenaged animals, while Lucy herself was feeling her entire body go numb and barely registering each hit, until the thought entered her mind that her life might be about to end.

As soon as it had begun, the assault ended with Luke seeing in his peripheral vision the two thugs running off, pursued by a member of the transport police. Meanwhile, a crowd of concerned onlookers helped Lucy back to her feet, only for her to immediately go limp in their arms and be guided to the nearest bench. With assistance from Susie, Luke scrambled to his feet and hobbled over to his sister, holding her in his arms as she quietly wept into his shoulder

The next hour seemed to pass in a blur for both twins as she remained on the bench, refusing the offer of help from onlookers while Susie kept her topped up with sweet tea from a nearby cafe — donated by the owners free of charge — to try to calm their nerves. Mere minutes after the attack, police officers arrived to speak to and take statements from the twins, as well as phone footage from any onlookers. Shortly afterward, with Lucy refusing to be taken to hospital, a taxi arrived to transport the twins back home. Luke kept glancing at his sister all throughout the ride home, but the twenty-year-old girl betrayed no reaction, merely staring blankly out of the window and remaining silent. When the taxi arrived home, Lucy stepped out of the car, silently gesturing to her brother that she could get out of the car by herself. As she walked up the path to the house, though, she stumbled, having to catch herself on a nearby fence multiple times before eventually reaching the front door and letting herself and her brother into the house.

“Yas back quick!” Paul called from his small office area, chuckling as he went to greet the twins. “Did yas forget something, or…” the middle-aged man paused as his daughter stood before him, trembling and as pale as a ghost. Her hair was mussed, her make-up trashed and her clothing was dirty and torn. “L- Lucy?” Paul whispered, before rushing forward to hug his daughter as she broke down in a flood of tears.

As Lucy fell into her father's arms, though, she couldn’t help but muse on how awkward it felt, how awkward her father felt — and how awkward she felt to be in the position of needing to be held.

While Luke filled in Paul on what had happened, Lucy headed upstairs to change, rejecting her father’s offer of assistance out of fear of yet more awkwardness. As she looked at herself in the mirror, though, she let out a long, anguished sigh.

While her make-up look had been flawless when she left the house, it was wrecked upon her return, with her lipstick smudged, her mascara running all down her face and the make-up doing nothing to hide the ugly purple bruise that was developing on her chin. Her face was not the only part of her that had sustained damage, though — her left palm was badly grazed and bleeding, while deep bruises were visible on her legs through her shredded tights. Lucy moaned as she slid the clingy hosiery off her legs, moaning even louder as she inadvertently left blood stains on her shoes and her skirt — not that she’d ever be wearing the skirt again due to the large tears on the hem. Her jacket had been scuffed, but not torn, which Lucy was grateful for, along with her top escaping damage, but what stood out to Lucy the most — literally — was that in the altercation, her genitalia had become untucked.

Standing before her in the mirror was a person who was dressed as a girl… but unmistakably had a penis. If she stripped to her underwear, she’d be a person wearing a bra and a pair of panties… who had a penis. Even if she was fully covered up and perfectly ‘tucked,’ she’d still have a penis — and as the day’s events had proved, people didn’t even need to see it to ‘know’ about her. Meaning that even if it was no longer there, people would still ‘know’ about her. Everyone would always be able to ‘know’ about her, just as she’d never be able to ‘forget’ about herself….

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Paul whispered, slumping back into the sofa as Luke finished recounting the day’s events for him. “Did yas get an incident number? Or at least contact details o’ tha cops who are dealing with the case?”

“We got a number, yeah,” Luke replied with a whisper.

“Good,” Paul said. “’Cause even though I know he won’t, I want that bastard ta spend the rest of his miserable life in a prison cell. No… UNDER a prison cell.”

“Sounds good to me,” Luke said with an angry snort, before frowning with confusion as his twin walked down the stairs into the living room. “…Luce? Are- are you okay?”

“No,” the twenty-year-old replied as they sat down opposite Luke and their father, dressed in their university hoodie and plainest pair of jeans. “I- I’m not. I- I’ve come to a decision. I don’t- I don’t think I want to be a woman anymore….”

TO BE CONTINUED