Friday

That was one of the longest weeks in my life. I strove mightily to get things in shape so I could take the next week off. With Aida pulling evening shift so she could get the weekend off to meet my parents our only direct contact was last night's comedy. It helps when you're the boss, playing with the schedule is a bit easier that way. Also, her people were excited that she would be meeting her fiancée's parents. They were in on the scam with her parents, but not with the scam with me.

Life can get complicated.

Early Friday she picked up the rings before going in for her noon shift. At ten in the morning I was in the company cafeteria replenishing the caffeine and sugar level of my body when who should come in but Mary Lou from the reception area along with Aida.

There are times I'm a bit slow in deciphering a situation, but there are other times that my brain pops into overdrive without any prompting from my consciousness. That's what happened when I saw Aida. I knew - I just knew! - that I was about to be repaid for yesterday.

I was hoping I could afford the interest.

Aida broke away from Mary Lou and streaked across the cafeteria directly toward me. Upon arrival she sank to her knees and said, in a clear and penetrating voice, "Lauren, darling. Would you marry me. Please?"

I realized that the multitudes had again assembled, so I just said "What? Saying 'yes' once wasn't enough?"

"Once is never enough, darling!"

At which point she took out the ring and placed it on my hand as the assembled multitudes witnessed the act.

With a resounding kiss she said "Got to go or I'll be late. Love you, darling!"

Just like that she was gone.
 

I wore the ring back to the office and waited. Nancy was the first to make it to my desk. I blame it on the Devil. If all those TV preachers that got caught with the pool boy can blame him for their failings I doubt he'll notice if I add one more to the total. Hell, bring on a stack of bibles and I'll put my hand on them cheerfully.

I deliberately fed the gossip mongers some juicy tidbits. The head gossip had pretty much wrung the juice out of my pierced ears by Friday; the dramatic arrival of a piece of jewelry… gold jewelry… feminine gold jewelry, expensive feminine gold jewelry on my left hand ring finger was irresistible.

I told the truth. Not the whole truth, not nothing but the truth, and since I'm blaming this on the Devil I will not add 'so help me god' to my sins.

I went like this: I met a wonderful woman at the laundromat. We had a wild weekend of good, clean fun. (Groan!) She proposed. I accepted. As a proud supporter of liberal causes and despiser of outdated gender stereotypes we both felt we deserved to wear engagement rings. We bought the rings. They came in today and she picked them up and gave mine to me as soon as possible. We could hardly wait for the actual wedding.

That last bit is the nothing but the truth part. I thought it made for a nice ending to the story, though. This was met with some skepticism, so I asked if liberation from old-fashioned gender stereotypes only applied to women.

That was met with a hearty round of derision. Again the Devil made me do it, shifting to Lori's voice, I informed them that they were female chauvinist pigs, hopelessly trapped in outdated gender stereotypes and wouldn't be invited to the wedding.

Fortunately, we didn't lose too many man-hours to the latest gossip.
 

Ten minutes before quitting time my boss paid me a visit. He settled into my guest chair and said "OK Lauren, let's see this rock that everybody is talking about."

I waved my hand in front of him in the time-approved fashion.

"If you weren't so damned valuable I'd pack you off to the company shrink. If that didn't work I'd have Father Konowalski do an exorcism. What the hell is going on?"

"It's a long story, boss, and there isn't time to tell it all because I have to be gone on the dot. You don't have to worry, though. The whole engagement thing is a very stupid and very complicated practical joke that I got sucked into. I have no intention of letting it bleed into my work, but I pulled a prank on Aida at her work last night and I reaped the reward this morning."

"Let me know how it all turns out when you're back from vacation. Just please don't let it get out of hand at work."

"You've got it. I'll be circumspect… unless I decide to transition on the job."

"Lauren! You… No. Get thee gone on thy vacation and try to return no more insane than you already are."

With that he got up and left. Sometimes I'm just bad!

Saturday

I doubt that I'm the only one who can't get to sleep the night before if I know I have to be up early for something important. Aida doesn't have that problem, she was out like a light once we had stopped celebrating being back in the same bed again.

Of course 'early' is a relative term; what is early on a weekend is not necessarily early for a weekday. Aida had booked us an 11:00AM appointment at her salon, which required us to be out of bed by eight.

I was fool enough to question such a long lead time - I was told to stop thinking like a man. We needed three hours to get dressed, pack for an overnight stay, eat, clean up and get to the salon. The salon would take four hours. I almost asked why that long but realized in time that it would mean I was thinking like a man again.

I was relieved to find that the salon time included snacks enough to hold us until dinner. I wonder what my barber would think of feeding his customers? Then again, I may not need the services of a barber if want to continue as Lori.

Whoa! Where did that thought come from?

Continuing the timeline: three hours for the two hour drive to allow for traffic and getting lost. I suppose it would be useless to point out I had made the drive home countless times in the past few years, no way I would be getting lost.

I realized as I mused that I was perfectly comfortable with Aida taking charge. This was her world, she knew what was needed and I let the expert take the lead. When it came time to enter my parents' world I would take over; if things went as planned we would go on as equals from there.

The Salon

No need to go into great detail. You've already been in a salon yourself or read countless descriptions of what happens in this feminine world. My only comment is I regret being born male and missing out on so many years of this delight. I will never be going back to my old barber, even if he is a very nice guy.

I'm hooked.

The Homecoming

It's a good thing the way home is burned deep in the synapses of what passes for my brain. I was a bit distracted on the drive. Part of the distraction was what my reception would be as Lori. Another part was having Aida next to me. The final part was having my breasts touch my arms every time I steered into a curve, and there were plenty of curves as I negotiated the hills. Eventually we came to the end of the pass which let us see the green valley open before us with my home town nestled securely within it's embrace. It's a beautiful sight, and I seem to forget how beautiful since I no longer live there to have my memory refreshed each day.

"Lori, how could you ever have left a place as beautiful as this?"

"It wasn't easy, but my talents just couldn't get me a steady job in a small town."

"Ah, the conflict between talent and jobs. Get the kids educated and they leave the small towns; keep them ignorant and the town shrivels up and dies."

"A bit cynical, but there is some truth to it. Dad being the High School principal is familiar with the conflict, as is Mom as the town librarian. Their education is compatible with the place they have always lived but mine just wasn't suited to small town life."

"Any regrets?"

"No, not really. I love what I do and I'm paid well to do it. Not to be a suck-up, but it did lead me to you."

"A definite advantage. Has it only been a few months?"

"And just a week since things got… serious? Intimate?"

"I can hardly wait to meet your parents. Even if the engagement is a phantasy, the whole idea of meeting my fiancée's parents is a real kick."

"Lets just hope your parents don't make that kick literal if they figure things out."

"Are we there yet?"

"Nice change of subject. Just a couple of blocks… Oh shit!"

"Huh? What went wrong?"

"We've been ambushed! See that purple suburban mother-mobile in the drive?"

"Sure."

"That's my sister Abby. The lime green SUV belongs to my sister Lil. So much for a calm evening trying to explain why I have suddenly shifted sex. For that matter, talking about sex will be a mite convoluted with four nieces and nephews around the place."

"If they gang up on you I have your back."

"Hell! It's my front that will grab their attention."

"It is rather outstanding, isn't it."

"Leave the luggage in the car. If we're trampled to a bloody pulp we won't need it in the hospital."

So I parked the car and we got out. I started down the driveway and came to a sudden halt.

"You wouldn't have a towel available right now, would you?" I asked.

"I have one of those little moist towelettes in my purse, but I don't think that's what you want. Just why do you suddenly want a towel?"

"Because I feel my inner Madame Zelda taking over my body."

"Hey - she's my alternate personalty, not yours!"

"Whatever. Madame Zelda knows all and sees all, and she knows that with the entire family in the family home there is only one place they will be on this fine summer's day."

"And where would that be, oh inscrutable one?"

"Please, you'll find me easy to screw, you just have to wait until tonight."

"Not if you keep handing me lines like that."

"As Madame Zelda was saying, the family will be gathered in the back yard. My father will be wearing his BBQ apron and preparing to incinerate some form of meat or meat byproduct. My sisters and mother will be quaffing wine, my brothers-in-law will be sipping some form of craft beer while making knowledgeable statements as to its quality and the nieces and nephews will be running around like maniacs. It will be so damned wholesome and suburban that the only thing missing will be a white picket fence bordered with tea roses."

"Madame Zelda is very cynical this afternoon."

"Madam Zelda is nervous. The phrase prodigal son keeps echoing between my ears."

"Remember that the prodigal son was welcomed home with joy, as will the prodigious daughter. You don't think I'd get engaged to a woman who wasn't simply awesome, do you?"

"Right. Panic over, let's go meet the family."

I took her hand and we went around to the back yard, where Madame Zelda's predictions were proved true. Dad was at the BBQ, the others were doing something, somewhere and my sister Abby was leaning on the back deck railing watching the kids at play.

I waved at Dad, who got a very funny look on his face, then snuck up behind my sister. I put my hands over her eyes, making sure to press my breasts into her back and said "Guess who?"

"Wha?"

"No, Who's on first, Wha's on second."

"Lauren?"

"Nope, it's Lori. With an 'i'."

She spun around and looked me over from head to toe. Dad was just about to bust a gut laughing at our antics and Aida was smiling.

I was enveloped in a hug, but some part of my mind noticed that we both instinctively averted our faces to avoid messing up our makeup. That same part worried that I had overdone the makeup expecting an intimate dinner and not a backyard BBQ.

"Well I will be damned. You look good, girl."

"Anything for my adoring public," I said in Lori's voice. "Meet my fiancée, Aida."

"Charmed. You've certainly brought out the best in my little brother."

At this point the word had spread and everyone was surrounding us. Hugging ensued, as did questions. After I had answered the most important one - beer or wine? - we settled down at the picnic table and had us a fine time.

Aida was welcomed enthusiastically into the family, even if we were all in on the joke. She's that kind of person, easy to love.

Aida tells me the evening was liberally peppered with humorous references to my new self, that was a given with my family's sense of humor. Not to mention their curiosity as to how I managed the change. I didn't get to hear much of it because I was buried under a heap of children. If I needed practice speaking in Lori's voice, I certainly got it that night. Once they got the idea that Uncle Lauren was now Aunt Lori, I was drafted as storyteller-in-chief.

When my voice voice began to fail, I became tickler-in-chief, struggling mightily not to have my skirts end up over my head. I count myself lucky the kids were too young to have learned 'I see London,I see France…' Even if I was now Aunt Lori, I had to remain vigilant concerning certain vulnerable areas of my body.

That's when I realized that, other than the breast forms and makeup, nothing had really changed all that much. Lori was simply a part of me that I had given permission to manifest, not some artificial construct imposed from without. Could it be that Aida, in her frustration with her mother, had seen that part of me and found a way to help let it out? I wasn't given much time to process this revelation as the conversation was still going on and I had to be able to be part of it.

The party broke up early, after all my sisters had young kids to put to bed. Aida and I helped Mom clean up the mess and wash the dishes, not because I was looking like a woman, but because that's what I was taught to do as a child. Dad was right there with us, no sexual stereotypes here.

We finally had time for that relaxed chat and it was wonderful to talk about how my life had changed since Aida came into it. She seemed to open up in the love of a family and spoke of how she was raised as almost an afterthought. It taught her to be strong and independent, but never really knowing love had made for some disastrous choices in men. I could see from the smile on Mom's face that she was amused that her choosing me, with my feminine tendencies, said a lot about her. Mom also was wise enough not to say it out loud.

Eventually we started yawning and we adjourned to our bedrooms to sleep. We went through our evening ritual of makeup removal, moisturizing and such and finally cuddled close in bed.

"Aida?"

"Yes, love?"

"I'm not quite sure how to say this, but there's more to us than a sham engagement, isn't there?"

I felt her body stiffen, but kissed her neck and back until she relaxed.

"I'm scared that you're right, she said quietly."

"Why scared?"

"Because every time I thought I was falling in love it blew up in my face."

"Tell me, those other times, did you start out being friends before you became lovers?"

She was quiet for a while.

"I think you've got it. No, there was always the question of how long it would be before we started screwing."

"Not very romantic."

"Lori, I never saw my parents being romantic. I never saw anyone close to me being romantic. That stuff happened in movies and on TV, not in my life."

"That's sad, but I think you were starting to figure out what was wrong around the time we met. You were not all that interested in letting Steve get you into bed, yet you had been dating for a while. What made you date him in the first place?"

"He looked like a god, he had all the moves, he had money, he had a great car. He could be funny, he could be sarcastic, too. But there was no depth, he was all surface. You're not like that."

"I really hope so."

"Do you know what made me want you for a friend?"

"I am curious about that."

"That first night when we met, when you were playing with those kids in the Laundromat. Even though I was starting to fall for Steve I was thinking that Steve would never do something like playing with kids. You cared about those kids, you wanted to make them happy even though you would probably never see them again."

"Is that so strange in your life?"

"Yes. Yes it is. I grew up in the care of people paid to keep me quiet. I grew up with parents who considered me a burden, an unfortunate result of a night of lust. I was one more chip they could turn in at the end of the night for my cash value or to impress the other game players.

"You were the first person who actually seemed to care for me just because I was me. You let me cry on your shoulder when Steve dumped me, the girl you just barely knew. You didn't go all hyper-masculine and try try to fix things, you just let me whine and moan. You knew just what to do and did it!"

"Shhhh… It's all right. You're safe, you're loved. I love you, Aida."

And I knew it was true as soon as I said it.

"How can you love me? I'm a big, ugly cow. I got you into this whole ridiculous mess because I wanted to shock my mother. And you turned yourself into a woman just to make me happy. I'm a horrible person!"

"No you are not. You are the woman I love, you are beautiful and loving and real. I told you that those personality tests showed me I was as much a woman as a man, and you've given me the opportunity to explore the half of me that I have been ignoring.

"You helped me overcome my fear of sex after that awful first time and shown me just how wonderful it can be with someone who cares for you. I don't want to live my life without you any longer. I want to make that phony engagement real. I know it's insane to propose after such a short time, but that's what I'm doing. Aida, please marry me and be my wife."

"Oh Lori. Are you sure?"

"As sure as I have ever been of anything."

"Then the answer is yes."

"Do we still do it as women to keep your mother cranking?"

"Should we?"

"The question is are you willing to spend your life with Lori? You said yes to Lori just now but I'm starting to wonder if I'm more Lori than Lauren."

"Really? I think it was the Lori part of you that attracted me even though it wasn't visible."

"But if I did find that Lori is the dominant part of me would you be able to love her?"

"You need to let her out a little farther - you're still thinking like a man. It's not an either/or situation, you are an and. Lori is you and I love you. Lauren is you and I love you. I'd love you if you got breast implants so you don't have to glue those things onto you. I'd love you if you needed to go all the way, but I'd miss your cock. As long as we do things together we will make it together."

"As my grandmother would say, you've just blown my mind."

"There's something else I could blow if you can keep quiet enough."

"Do tell?"

She told, but I'm not going to.