Link: The Road to Hell Title Page and Description

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The next morning Josh cheerfully made his way toward the bus stop. It was a beautiful late summer day, so he'd worn one of the skirts that used to belong to Tracy and one of the tops Melanie had gotten him. When he saw his best friend at the stop, he smiled wide and jogged forward to greet her.

"Hey, Trace! Glad to see you feeling better!"

"Thanks, Joss!" she grinned back. "I'm just glad I'm not in bed anymore!"

The two giggled together as they waited for the bus.

"So, what did you do this weekend while I was dying?" Tracy dramatically asked. "You never called or anything. I missed you!"

Feeling bad that he'd almost completely ignored his best friend while she was sick, he looked away. "I... uh... I went over to Jenn's house on Sunday."

Her smile melting, Tracy turned away as well. "Oh. I guess she's your best friend now."

"No!" Josh insisted as he moved to make the girl look at him. "She's... um..." Glancing back at the other kids, he took her by the arm and led her a short distance away. "She's sorta... maybe my... um... girlfriend? A little?"

Tracy slowly looked up at him with an astonished expression. "Your... Joss! You have to tell me everything!"

Recounting his weekend, it took all the way until the bus got to the school before he finished.

"So, as soon as she came in my room, she kissed me... again!"

"And her parents are totally cool with you? I mean, that you're still physically a boy and that she's dating you as a girl?"

Josh shrugged as they waited for the vehicle to stop. "Like I said, I told them everything. They think I'm pretty cool!"

"You are so lucky!" she replied as they got up to file out the door. "Mom and Dad won't let me date until next year!"

"We're not really dating." Josh admitted as they started moving. "I mean, I just went over to her house is all. I do that with you!"

"But you don't kiss me!" Tracy pointed out as they stepped off the bus. "And you're going to go to her birthday party... and you're making plans months in advance... and you still wanna say you aren't... um... Joss?"

He wasn't listening anymore as he watched Jennifer ride her bike up to the racks and push it in. Unlocking the chain, she threaded it around her tire and frame before locking it again. It seemed like every move she made was meant to catch his attention, even though he knew she hadn't seen him yet.

"Oh, brother!" Tracy sighed. "You've got it bad! Way worse than Brenda! Hello! Joss!?"

"Huh?" he asked as he tore his eyes away from Jennifer to look at Tracy.

"Never mind!" Tracy giggled. Pointing toward his girlfriend, she smiled. "Go! I'll see you in first period!"

Walking over to the girl he'd spent the previous day with, his heart leapt for joy at the elated expression on her face when she saw him.

"Jocelyn!" she said as they jogged up to one another. Stopping herself from wrapping him in her arms and kissing him deeply right there in front of everybody like she wanted to, Jennifer swallowed hard and stopped short. "Um... hi!"

"Hi!" Josh said with a stupid grin. "Walk in together?"

"Sure!" she said with a blush. The two making their way to the doors into the building, she tucked her hair nervously behind her ear. "Oh... I suppose I can just give you this now!" she said as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a note. It was the same paper used for the notes left in his locker.

"That was you?" he asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Walking the halls towards Jennifer's locker, she explained. "Well, at first I didn't know if you'd like me or not, so I didn't want to spoil it if you didn't. Then after I knew you did, I wasn't thinking about it anymore." Blushing, she stopped in front of her locker. "Um... this one's... different." she admitted shyly as she put in her combination.

Opening the note, his eyes bulged as he began to read. "A... a love letter?"

Nodding, she put away some of her books and closed the door. "Don't read it here!" she whispered. "Wait to read it when you go to bed tonight!"

Giggling as he re-folded the note and pushed it into the front pocket of his jean skirt, he started towards his locker. "So... wanna have lunch together? I usually eat with Trace... my best friend? Tracy Edwards? She says she knows you from your last school."

Thinking hard, her face lit up. "Oh! I remember her! The one with the twin brother? He called me a 'stupid girl' all the time, so I sorta ignored them."

"Dave can be a bit of a jerk, especially to girls." Josh admitted. "He figured out he's gay pretty early. He's liked other boys since Kindergarten."

She stopped in mid-step and lowered her voice. "He's gay!"

Blinking at her shock, he stared at her a moment. "Yeah. So?"

Thinking about it briefly, she resumed walking with him. "I... I just never knew a gay kid, is all."

"Aren't you gay?" Josh asked her pointedly. "I mean, it's what your mom said... and you like me because I'm pretty. Beautiful you said, though I beg to differ. Plus there was..." Halting his tongue as he realized he was about to bring up a painful subject she hadn't told him about, he turned away.

"There was wha..." she stopped cold again. Her eyes widening, she looked at him as though he'd read her mind. "How do you know about her?" she asked softly.

Moving closer, he took her hand and started moving. "Your mom told me that a girl broke your heart last year. She didn't tell me anything more than that, I swear! She only told me because she needed me to understand how hurt you were afterwards... and how easily I could hurt you."

Walking along, being blindly led by Josh, Jennifer swallowed. "Her name was Janice. She... she used to be my best friend. Then I told her I liked her. She called me bad names and never spoke to me again."

"I guess that's why you were so afraid to tell me you liked me." Josh said rhetorically as he put in his combination.

"I guess I am gay." she admitted quietly to herself, just coming to accept the idea. Puzzled a moment, she considered that. "Or am I? I like you and you're really a boy inside... and outside... just not... oh, you know what I mean!"

"But for a boy I'm really girly." he admitted in counterpoint. "And I look like a girl, even in boy clothes. You said so yourself."

Sighing, she nodded as she clutched her school binder to her chest. "I guess so, but is it really gay if you like a boy that looks like a girl?" Realizing the ridiculousness of the question, the two looked at each other and giggled. "What's your first class?" she asked.

"Home Ec." he explained.

"Really? You sure you're not really a girl?"

Hearing the warning bell, the two started to back away from one another toward their respective classes. "We'll talk at lunch! Look for me?"

Jennifer nodded happily. "See you then!"

By the time Josh got to class and settled into his desk, he looked over toward Tracy who was grinning like the cat that ate the canary and glancing back at him sideways. Then she started mouthing, "Jocelyn and Jennifer, sittin' in a tree..."

Josh widened his eyes in pleading for her to stop before someone noticed and was grateful when the tardy bell rang and class began at last.

The rest of the morning went by smoothly. Josh still had trouble focusing in History class, but now it was because his mind kept drifting off into fanciful images of Jennifer smothering him in kisses. When the bell rang for lunch, he was startled back to reality and quickly grabbed his things and caught up with Tracy.

"Oh, so you decided to join the land of the living?" she needled him.

"Trace! Please! Don't tell anyone about Jenn and me. OK?"

"I won't, but it's an awful hardship, keeping a secret like this!" Tracy joked. "What'll you give me?"

"Not a black eye!" he jokingly threatened her. "Please, Trace? I trusted you! You have to keep it a secret!"

"Alright!" she gave in. "I was just kidding! Don't whine!"

Reaching their lockers, Josh saw David already at his. "Hey, Dave. Glad to see you back! I didn't get a chance to say hi this morning."

David turned around and then looked at the floor. "Oh. Hey, Joss. Sorry. Just busy talkin' with the guys. Look, I'll catch you later, K? Bye." At that, he turned away with his lunch and walked off, not even giving Josh a chance to say anything more.

"Don't pay any attention to him, Joss." Tracy comforted as she opened her locker. "He's just weirded out by you being a girl, is all. He'll get used to it!"

After Josh got his lunch and the two sat down in the lunchroom, Josh was once again surprised by a voice from behind him, this time pleasantly so.

"Is this seat taken?" Jennifer asked, sitting on the opposite side of him from Tracy.

Smiling, Josh played along. "I'm afraid so. It's reserved for this really nice girl who thinks I'm the living end!"

Continuing the banter, Jennifer giggled. "Well, too bad for her, because I'm gonna sit in it, just to make sure nobody else can! Otherwise some boy might wander over and try to talk to a pretty girl like you!" Seeing Tracy sitting uncomfortably on his other side, Jennifer got serious. "Hi, Tracy."

"Hi." was all the girl said back.

Now feeling like a boxing referee, he wanted the two to at least get along. "Trace? Jenn was telling me that she kind of avoided you at your old school 'cuz Dave was mean to her sometimes, so she musta thought you would be, too. I'm sure she wouldn't ignore you for no reason."

Sighing, Tracy looked across him at the girl on his left. "I'm sorry about my dufus of a brother, Jenny. He can be a real jerk, sometimes. He just now sorta blew off Joss, even after she went to bat for him to make sure he didn't fall behind in his classes."

"It's OK, Tracy." she answered back. "I guess I shouldn't have judged you because of what he did. I was just... sorta... afraid of you... I guess... but you can't be that bad if Jocelyn likes you."

Tracy giggled at the way Jennifer had said her best friend's name. "Wow, you two really must be in love, the way you said, Jocelyn just now!" Seeing the other girl look down embarrassedly, Tracy backed off. "Really though, I think it's sweet! I'm glad that Joss found someone that likes her for who she really is. She's a pretty great girl!"

Looking at Josh with a confused expression, Jennifer saw him shake his head, she decided that the conversation could wait until later. Once they were done eating, the three took a walk around the school playground.

"So, after you left, Mom told me I can basically do whatever I want. She seems to think you and I are gonna start having sex like any day now or something! Your parents are way better! Mine are like, no-limits crazy!"

"You're crazy Joss!" Tracy shook her head. "Your parents are totally cool! If I even thought about having a boy in my room alone, Mom'd skin me alive! And here you are, complaining about being allowed to do basically whatever you want?"

Jennifer just shrugged. "I get it. Jocelyn wants to feel like her Mom and Dad care enough to set boundaries. We talked about it in our church camp last year. Limiting what kids do shows them that their parents care what happens to them. Look what happens when kids have no limits, like in the inner cities and stuff. They keep pushing the limits of what they can do, and when no one stops them they run wild and end up hurting or killing themselves."

"Oh, come on!" Tracy rolled her eyes. "You act like the whole solution to gangs and stuff is just to have their parents tell them what they can't do! It's not that easy!"

Josh decided to play adjudicator to their debate. "Trace has a point. The solution must be complicated, or else there wouldn't be a problem."

"It takes more than just setting rules." Jennifer sighed. "Someone's gotta enforce 'em. That means someone has to be at home to do that. A lot of inner city kids either have both parents at work or only one parent, so no one's there to enforce the rules."

Nodding in agreement, Josh was proud of Jennifer. "Fair point, Jenn. A rule that isn't enforced isn't a rule... it's a guideline. Counterpoint, Trace?"

Tracy stopped and looked at her friend. "What are you doing? Mediating a debate? We're just talking! You know I hate it when you do this!"

He blinked at her, then glanced at Jennifer who appeared equally confused. "I was just playing adjudicator. You two started the debate. What's wrong? I thought it was fun! You both made points off each other and we were really getting somewhere!" Looking at the two blank stares directed at him, he shrugged. "What?"

Turning to Tracy, Jennifer asked, "Does she do this all the time?"

"Yes!" Tracy scoffed. "Drives me nuts! She won't take a side! She tries to be 'neutral arbiter' every time! She did it all the time with Davie and me! I swear, getting an opinion out of her is like pulling teeth!"

Embarrassedly, Josh looked at his shoes. "Sorry. I can't help it. Daddy does it all the time with Mom and me. I guess I just picked it up from him."

Jennifer softened her expression towards him. "I'm sorry, Jocelyn. I didn't mean to make you feel bad! Don't be sad!" She instinctually reached out and took his hand, lacing her fingers into his.

Glancing around, Josh spoke softly. "Um... Jenn? We promised. Rule two?"

Gazing achingly into his eyes, she slowly released his hand. "I know. It's harder than I thought, though. I just wanted you to not be sad anymore!"

"What's 'Rule two'?" Tracy asked confusedly.

"No PDAs." Josh explained. "It's a condition Jenn's parents set in order for us to see each other. Rule one is we can never be totally alone, like in a room by ourselves with the door closed? Rule three is that her brother Luke can't know we're a... a couple. Not for a few years, anyway."

Hearing the bell ending lunch, the three made their way back inside. "So what? That means you can kiss her, but only in front of her parents?"

Giggling, Josh shook his head. "That was an accident!"

Jennifer stopped and looked at him in shock. "You told her about that?"

"Um... no." Josh admitted truthfully, having skipped that part when he told Tracy about Sunday. "I... that just sorta slipped out!"

"Told me what?" Tracy asked curiously. "Did I miss something? Joss! Did you kiss her in front of her parents?" she whispered.

He looked at Jennifer who had turned beat red as he mouthed, "Sorry!" Moving close in as they resumed their walk to the lockers, Josh apologized profusely. "I am so sorry, Jenn! I can't believe I said that! Forgive me? Please?"

Rolling her eyes, she giggled. "You know I can't stay mad at you, Jocelyn! I like you too much!"

The two telling Tracy the whole story as they got their things from their lockers, he turned at last to Jennifer. "See you after school?"

Blushing and biting her lower lip, she nodded. "Sure! Meet me at the bike racks! Bye!"

Sighing wistfully as Jennifer departed, Josh turned to Tracy. "Trace? Will you..."

"...save you a seat on the bus?" she finished for him. "Yeah, yeah. Sure. Jeez! You can't be away from her for more than a few hours? You are definitely in love, girlfriend!"

After classes, he did as promised and met her at her bike. When he saw her coming, he took a moment to straighten out his skirt. "Jenn! I missed you!"

"I missed you too!" she glowed as she walked up. "Look, can you come over to my house tomorrow after school? I just want to be able to spend some time with you and I can't wait all the way until Sunday."

Smiling, Josh stared into her eyes. "Sure! I'd love to!" Glancing at Tracy leaning out the bus window, his smile melted. "I gotta go or I'll miss the bus. See you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow!" she grinned as she unlocked her bike. "Call me tonight?"

"I will!" he smiled at her as he ran for the bus.

Sitting in his seat after a glare from Ms. Cartwright, he let out a sigh.

"Thought for a minute there she was gonna kiss you!" Tracy teased. "You two are hopeless!"

"Good!" he countered. "I don't wanna be saved from this!"

The next day went much the same, but when school ended, Josh didn't have Tracy save him a seat. Waiting by the bikes, he noticed that Jenn's wasn't there. He knew she was at school, he'd seen her at lunch. A moment later he saw her approaching.

"Ready to go?" she said dreamily.

"Where's your bike?" he asked as they began to walk together.

"I walked today. I knew you wouldn't have a bike, so I thought it wouldn't be fair of me to use mine."

"Oh." he smiled as his black skirt blew in the light breeze, making him thankful of the heavy tights. "You're wonderful!"

"No, you're wonderful!" Jennifer sighed. "I wish we were home already. Luke doesn't get home until after four 'cuz he has an after-school thing he goes to that helps with his homework. He got in trouble last year for bad grades and almost got left back, so Mom signed him up for it this year so he doesn't fall behind again. He goes every Tuesday and Thursday."

Josh blushed. "So... that means... it'll just be us and your mom at home?"

"Uh-huh!" Jennifer acknowledged. "Just us... and I study in my room!"

"With the door open, right?" he asked cautiously.

"Right." she conceded with an exasperated sigh. "Maybe someday..."

When the two arrived at the Healy residence, Vicky met them at the door. "Hi... um... Josh!" she said as she ushered the two inside. "You two want a snack?"

"No thanks, Mom." she answered heading directly for her room. "We wanna get right to it so we get done sooner!"

Josh looked up at her and stopped. "Thank you for calling me Josh, but you might want to just call me Joss so no one catches on. Can you bring us a snack so we can work and eat?"

Smiling as Vicky tried to see the boy in the girl before her, she gave up and nodded. "We don't usually allow the kids to have food in their rooms, but I think I can make an exception! You're a good g... boy, Jocelyn... Joss! Sorry! I'll bring it in a few minutes, OK?"

"Thanks, Vicky!" he stated gratefully. "For everything!" Going down the hallway, he turned in to Jennifer's room, and felt her grab his hand to drag him in and around the corner from the door. Hearing noises of Vicky making snacks from the kitchen, Jennifer drew him in close and kissed him strongly for over a minute.

"I didn't think I could wait any longer!" she said breathlessly as she ended the kiss and just held him tightly. "I just miss you so much!"

Holding her as well, he relaxed into the comfort of her. "I missed you, too." After another moment, he pulled away. "But we really should get to work!"

Even though they were in different classes, the curriculum was standardized, so their core classes had the same worksheets and homework assignments. While Jennifer sprawled out on her bed, Josh set up at her desk just as Vicky came in.

"I just made you two a quick sandwich and got you a few fig newtons." she said as she put the plate on the desk. Looking at Jennifer and seeing her a little embarrassed, she sighed and shook her head as she gestured for Jennifer to get up. "Come here, sweetheart." Taking her daughter into her arms, she rocked her gently and ran her fingers through Jennifer's hair. "You don't need to be embarrassed, dear. I understand." Releasing her and looking to see that she was better, Vicky sighed and backed out of the room. "Just... don't close the door."

"We promised." Jennifer said. "I love you, Mom!"

"Love you, sweetie!" Vicky said as she turned down the hall toward the living room. A moment later, the two heard music that was loud enough to make eavesdropping impossible.

Josh tapped her on the shoulder, making the girl jump. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Is she testing you?"

"I think so." Jennifer said as she turned and hugged him. "I wanna just sit and make out... but..."

"...we should get to work." he said with a smile as he leaned his forehead in to touch hers.

Forty minutes later, almost an hour before Luke was due to get home, the two came out of her room, Jennifer carrying the empty plate into the kitchen where her mother was beginning to make dinner. "Here, Mom." she rinsed the plate and put it in the dishwasher. "Thanks."

"You two done already?" she asked, skeptical that they'd even begun.

"Yeah. We're done!" she answered as she leaned against the counter.

"Not a lot to do today?" she asked.

"About average." he daughter answered with a slight hint of a smile.

Looking over at Josh, she peered into his eyes and saw no signs of any embarrassment or that they'd done anything other than homework. Sighing, she shook her head. "Well, your brother won't be home for another hour. Why don't you go play in your room until then? Joss? Did you want to stay for dinner? We're having a roast. You're welcome to stay!"

Blushing, he nodded. "I'd like that, Vicky!" he said shyly. "Thank you!"

Turning and walking up to him, she leaned down to his eye level. "No, thank you... for making me feel better that we made the right decision about you!" Hugging him quickly, she let him go and returned to the kitchen to resume cutting vegetables. "Fifty-eight minutes!" she said simply.

"Come on, Jocelyn." Jennifer said as she took his hand. "You can tell me all about West Side Story!"

Pulling him into her room, he was about to start explaining the story when her lips got in the way.

A little more than fifty minutes later, Vicky knocked gently on the open doorway while she still stood around the corner of the door. "Your brother will be home shortly." she gently reminded them.

"You can come in Mom!" Jennifer giggled.

Seeing they were not at all disheveled, she smiled at the two. "So... West Side Story, huh?"

"Yeah." Josh blushed. "It's my favorite movie! I have an original movie poster for it, the soundtrack on CD, and Special Limited Edition DVD of the movie I got for my eleventh birthday!"

Looking at Jennifer, she smiled slyly. "So, what did you think of the story?"

Getting her own sly grin, she answered, "It's basically just Romeo and Juliet set in the 50s in the New York slums, but I still can't wait to see it! It won ten Academy Awards, so it must be pretty good!"

The Healy family sat down for dinner, Josh sitting between Jennifer and Vicky. He was about to start eating when he saw them all bow their heads. Pausing, he watched as they prayed together as a family.

"Lord," John began, "may we be truly thankful for the food we are about to receive and all your other blessings. In the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen."

He listened as the rest of the family echoed the closing and looked up.

"Well, dig in!" John said with a smile.

As the family plus one began to eat, Vicky turned to Josh. "Jocelyn, did your mother say anything when you called to ask to stay for dinner?"

Shaking his head as he finished his first bite of roast, he swallowed and took a breath. "Nothing really, Vicky. Just to have fun and be home by bedtime, is all. They're having veggie-burgers tonight."

John looked up. "Are they vegetarians?" he asked curiously.

"Not really." he answered. "They try to avoid meat, but they aren't strict about it. They let me eat bologna sandwiches for lunch, and I sometimes make myself an egg salad sandwich, but we only have soy milk at home and this is the first time I've ever had a roast. It's really good, Vicky!"

Luke instantly changed the subject. "How come she gets to call Momma 'Vicky'? She aren't a grownup!"

"Isn't." his mother corrected him. "And she can call me that because I said she could. Now eat your asparagus, young man."

"Blech!" he said, sticking out his tongue. Before she could reprimand him though, he picked up a spear with his fork. "Yes, Momma."

Giggling at his plight, Josh and Jennifer each took a bite of their own.

When Vicky drove Josh home that night, Jennifer seated beside him in the back seat of their sedan, the two held hands and stared into each other's eyes the whole way. She tried to make small talk with the two, but soon realized after having to repeat herself over and over that they weren't listening and just drove in silence. When at last they reached his home, Jennifer got out and held the door for Josh.

"May I walk Joss to the door, Mom?" she pleaded.

Sighing, she nodded. "Hurry back, sweetie. I'll be waiting."

The two held hands as they headed up the flagstones. "I miss you already." Jennifer complained.

Giggling gently, he noticed that his parents hadn't remembered to turn on the porch light and it was very nearly completely dark out. "I had a really good time, Jenn! I love spending time with your family! They're so nice!"

"Thanks!" she said, wishing she could return the compliment. "So... same thing on Thursday?" she asked.

"Sure! But I'm really looking forward to this Sunday again!"

Reaching the door, and barely able to make out her mother's car, she leaned in close. "Can I kiss you goodnight?"

Nodding, he relaxed into the moment and enjoyed the brief kiss, using it to sustain him for the next few days.

Releasing each other, Josh opened his front door and turned on the porch light, so Jennifer could see to walk back. "Goodnight, Jennifer!" he said as he leaned on the doorframe and watched her back away.

"Goodnight, Joss!" she grinned and turned to skip down the path back to her mother.

Watching her get in the front seat and then seeing the car drive away, he sighed wistfully and entered his open-door prison.