“You two look exhausted,” Priya said as Luke and Lucy sat down at their usual table in the Student Union bar. “I don’t need to guess why, do I?” The Indian girl bit her lip as her two friends both shook their heads.

“Ugh,” Luke sighed, sharing a knowing glance with his sister. “Never mind ‘back from holiday’, I feel like I NEED a holiday.” Luke allowed himself a smile as his friends Gavin and Susie smiled sympathetically.

“Aye, same here,” Lucy sighed. “I’m just really, really happy to be back at uni, though. Can’t wait for the first dance class of the year, work out a bit of stress, heh!”

“We’ll have to see if they’re still accepting sign-ups for the Tae Kwon Do society as well, then?” Claudia teased her friend, who rolled her eyes in reply.

“Don’t tempt us,” Luke snorted. “Meh, the important thing is that we’re back at uni now.” For now, at least, Luke ruefully thought to himself as his mind flashed back to two weeks earlier.

----------

“Lucy!” The twins’ father shouted up the stairs, waking the young man from his slumber. In his tired, disoriented state, it took several seconds for Luke to realise that instead of being in his university dorm, he was back in his bedroom in his parents’ house- and his father expected him, not his sister, to answer his call.

“I’m awake,” Luke replied, making no effort to disguise the tiredness in his voice or the lower, more masculine pitch he'd used during his first semester of university. “I’ll be down in a bit.”

“It’s almost 9:30,” Paul said with a laugh. “When you were younger, you’d have been up before seven on Christmas Eve!” Yeah, well, when I was younger, I sometimes looked forward to Christmas, Luke thought to himself, taking little comfort from the fact that what his sister had to endure was just as bad.

Sure enough, when Luke finally trudged down the stairs, he found Lucy sitting on the sofa, wearing a plain hoodie and pair of jeans with her hair slicked back, her face devoid of make-up and trying her hardest not to look as miserable as she felt.

“Ah, good morning, finally!” Sarah teased Luke.

“Morning,” the young trans man replied as he sat down next to his sister.

“What have you two got planned for today, then?” Sarah asked, not flinching under the withering stares from her children.

“Nothing much, really,” Luke replied.

”N- nope,” Lucy mumbled, internally cringing at the masculine pitch of her voice.

“Good,” Sarah said, unknowingly making her children nervous as a smile spread across her face. “I was thinking, Lucy, how about you and me have a girly say out? We can do a bit of shopping, get our hair and nails done, what do you say?” Lucy felt her heart swell as her mother made an offer she'd only ever dreamed of hearing, before feeling her heart sink as she realised that the offer wasn’t intended for her, but for her brother- whose eyes widened in sheer terror at the prospect.

“I- um- ah-“ Luke stammered nervously as panic gripped his body.

“I know you’ve got this whole ‘tomboy’ thing going on right now,” Sarah said. “Which really doesn’t suit you, by the way. But I figured as a Christmas treat, we could get glammed up before we go to see your grandparents tomorrow?” And thank you for reminding me of THAT, Luke thought to himself as he felt the bile rise in his throat.

“Uhh…” Luke groaned, his mouth physically unable to form the words he desperately wanted to say- that he didn’t want to see his grandparents, that he didn’t want to have his hair or nails done, and that he most definitely was NOT a ‘tomboy’, but just a boy…

“Oh- actually,” Lucy said as she racked her brains for a way to 'save' her brother. “We- we kinda arranged to meet up with Susie for- umm, with Susie AND Gavin for lunch.”

“Well- well Susie could always come with us,” Sarah suggested. “It could be my treat, like.”

“Umm, actually, we-“ Lucy said, racking her brains as she thought of an excuse to give her mother. “We’re probably going to be busy all afternoon.”

“Oh, okay then,” Sarah said, making no attempt to hide the disappointment in her voice. “Well, if you change your mind or you become available later in the day, just give us a call, okay?”

“Okay,” Luke mumbled, before groaning in pain as his mother left the room.

“It’s okay,” Lucy whispered as she gave her brother’s hand a gentle squeeze. “It’ll be okay.”

“H- how?” Luke snorted angrily. “When? When will any of this be okay? You know that when mum says ‘if you change your mind’ she means ‘when you change your mind’. And who are you texting?”

“Susie and Gavin,” Lucy replied with a tired sigh. “Figured that just in case, you know, we’re being checked up on… Ugh. Maybe we’re both being paranoid, I dunno. Trust me when I say you’re not the only one stressing out about all this.”

“Yeah, I know,” Luke sighed, leaning his head on his sister’s broad shoulder. “And I know that you’ve got it just as bad as me, I mean, no one looks at a tomboy, right?”

“But everyone looks at a guy presenting as a girl,” Lucy sighed. “It’s going to be even weirder if we do meet up with Gavin today- he’s never met ‘not-Lucy’ before, remember?

“Ah- shit, yeah, you’re right,” Luke sighed. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry, Luce. And thanks for, like, coming up with an ‘escape plan’, heh.”

“Hey, we do this together, right?” Lucy asked with a sad smile.

“Always,” Luke whispered, giving her brother a gentle hug before their parents returned to the room.

“So what’s this I hear about the two of you making plans that don’t include your long-suffering parents?” Paul asked with a frown that made the twins cringe, before letting out a light-hearted chuckle. “Oh come on, I’m just pulling yas legs, of course you’re gonna want to spend time with your friends! And I’m glad you’ve made more friends at uni too. So, are we ever gonna meet this ‘Gavin’ fella or are ya gonna make us wait forever like ya did with Susie? He lives in Newcastle, right?”

“Umm, aye,” Lucy replied, fidgeting uncomfortably.

“…Well?” Paul asked. “We ever gonna meet him at any point? I know, I know, ya don’t want ya parents embarrassing ya in front of ya mates, but with yas both in Durham it sometimes feels like yas both strangers, ya know?” You don’t know the half of it, Lucy thought as she fidgeted uncomfortably.

“Well, umm, maybe,” Lucy mumbled.

“Is he on your course as well as Susie?” Sarah asked. “Or is he maybe someone’s boyfriend…?”

“Mum…” Luke mumbled as he tried not to blush.

“Oh, come on,” Sarah teased. “All throughout your time at school we were worried that you weren’t making friends, I mean, you had each other, but we’re just pleased that you’re now actually making good friends, you know? It’d be nice to meet them just once.”

“Well- maybe some time,” Lucy shrugged.

“So how did ya meet this Gavin guy, anyway?” Paul asked. “Is he on the same course as you?”

“Umm, no, he does modern art,” Lucy replied, before silently cursing as she realised her answer would only result in further questions. “He, umm, he’s a fan of the football team.”

“…What, Lucy’s team, the girl’s team?” Paul asked derisively. Shit, Lucy thought to herself as she desperately racked her brains for an excuse.

“He- he’s gay,” Luke said, trying not to flinch as his twin glared at him.

“Umm… Okay,” Paul said, fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat. “Is- is there something you need to tell us, Luke?” Lucy felt her eyes widen even further as she was suddenly put on the spot, having to resist the urge to elbow her brother in the ribs.

“I- I’m not his type,” Lucy said, biting her lip to keep herself from smirking at the ‘technical truth’ she’d just told.

“Well- fair enough,” Paul shrugged with a loud sigh. “Just don’t tell your grandparents tomorrow that ya hang out with a poof, heh!”

“Yeah… no danger of that,” Luke snorted as he and Lucy tried to relax enough to be able to eat their breakfast.

After they’d finished eating, the twins returned to their bedrooms to get ready for their impromptu day in the city centre, and while Luke pulled on his usual jeans and hoodie without a second thought, Lucy let out a sigh as she returned to her bedroom.

In her room at the university, she had her wardrobe full of her clothes and a dresser full of her favourite cosmetics. However, all of those treasured possessions were under lock and key, either at university of under the care of Susie, and every trace of ‘Lucy’ had been scrubbed away and would remain that way until the end of the holiday. Lucy cringed as she pulled on an outfit almost identical to her brother's, and even though she knew the holiday would soon be over and she would soon get the chance to be ‘Lucy’ again, she wondered whether or not she’d be able to return to that life as easily as she’d left it…

“I had wondered how you two were doing,” Susie said sympathetically as the twins sat down next to her and Gavin in a coffee shop in the city centre. “Wasn’t surprised to get your text this morning, heh.”

“Me either,” Gavin sighed. “Though I am kinda surprised that you’d, you know, want me to see you like- well…” Lucy frowned, her cheeks reddening as her friend glanced at her.

“Y- yeah,” Lucy mumbled, fidgeting in the clothes that had quickly become unfamiliar to her. “Believe me, if I had any say in the matter, it’d be different, but- ugh. It’s complicated.”

“Yeah, I know a thing or two about awkward comings out,” Gavin sighed. “Why is it, like, the default assumption that everyone is straight and cis, anyway? I mean, I came out to my parents when I was fourteen, and at first, they were like ‘you’re only fourteen, how can you know you’re gay’? Well, how do people know they’re straight when they’re fourteen? But that’s, like, a silly question to most people.”

“Most STRAIGHT people,” Susie snorted as the twins nodded in agreement. “Ugh. Anyways, what do you guys want to do? I mean, I’ve done all my Christmas shopping already.”

“Same here,” Gavin said. “I mean, I’d be leaving it a bit late if I hadn’t, heh. And the MetroCentre’s going to be rammed today, so- yeah.”

“Honestly, just being out of the house is good enough for me,” Luke sighed. “I am NOT looking forward to tomorrow.”

“Your grandparents?” Susie asked, smiling sympathetically as the twins nodded.

“I doubt our ‘presents’ will be much fun, either,” Lucy sighed. “We’re going to wait until we get back to uni before we give our presents to each other, like.”

“And we bought the usual ‘fake’ ones to give to each other,” Luke explained. “Lynx Africa sets for Luce, Angels Funko Pops for me, that sort of thing.”

“…They do Angels Funko Pops now?” Susie asked.

“Aye,” Luke replied with a grin. “A couple of which I’m going to give to Lucy when we get back to uni- well, as well as the ones she gave me, heh. Kinda like a ‘private gift giving’ sort of thing.”

“That makes sense,” Gavin said with a shrug. “And it works out well, as the presents we’ve got the both of you probably would’ve been disappointing if you opened them under your, well, ‘old’ names.”

“Oh- you didn’t have to get us anything, really,” Lucy said.

“Ah, come on, how long have we been friends?” Susie retorted.

“And it’s not like we got you gold watches or anything,” Gavin chuckled. “Just a few trinkets for your uni rooms, something to say ‘thanks for being friends’.”

“Well- okay,” Lucy sighed. “But we- we kinda didn’t get anything for you, only cards…”

“And, like, we only exchanged cards the last two years, too,” Luke said to Susie, who simply shrugged in response.

“Meh, cards are cool,” Susie said. “Seriously, don’t worry about, like, ‘balancing the books’ when it comes to presents. That’s not what Christmas should be about, anyway.”

“Aye, well, it should be about family, but that ain’t happening this year either,” Luke sighed. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to listen to us whine, especially not today, heh.”

“Meh, it’s a stressful time of year for you, listening to you vent is the least we can do,” Gavin said with a shrug. “I would say ‘consider it another present’ but given what we were just talking about, that probably wouldn’t be helping much!”

“Not really,” Luke snorted.

“But thanks regardless,” Lucy said with a smile. “Ugh, let- let us do SOMETHING for you at least, even if it’s just, like, a meal or something.”

“You really don’t have to,” Susie said as Gavin got his phone out and began checking it.

“But if you do really want to,” Gavin said, “there’s an escape room nearby and I’ve always wanted to check one of those out. It’s not too expensive either, only £15.”

“An escape room?” Lucy asked, before shrugging. “Sounds fun. Okay, guess it can be our treat then!” Everyone at the table smiled as Gavin confirmed the booking on his phone before leaving the coffee shop and making their way across the city.

The four teenagers spent the rest of the afternoon having fun as they solved puzzles, cracked codes and ultimately escaped the room with only a few minutes to spare. All throughout the afternoon, both Luke and Lucy were able to forget about their stresses, about Lucy's 'wrong' clothes, Luke's 'expectations' from their mother and the inevitable awkwardness they'd come to associate with a visit to their grandparents'. However, as they made their way out of the escape room, Luke and Lucy realised that escaping the lives waiting for them back at home would be considerably harder than solving a bunch of puzzles…

The twins arrived home shortly after 5pm, tired from both the excitement of the day and anxiety about what the rest of the festive period would bring- anxiety that intensified when they entered the living room to be greeted by the smiling face of their father.

“Now then, you two!” Paul chuckled as the twins sat down together on the sofa. “Did you have a good day out with your friends?”

“Umm, aye, it was fun, thanks!” Lucy chuckled nervously. “We- umm, Gavin had booked us into an escape room, so that was fun.”

“What’s one of them when they’re at home?” Paul asked.

“Umm, you know, it’s where you’re locked in a room together, and you kinda, like, have to solve puzzles in order to escape, hence the name,” Luke replied.

“Ah, kinda like the Crystal Maze?” Paul asked with a knowing nod. “Heh, when I was your age, if two boys and two girls were locked in a room together, the last thing they’d be thinking about was escaping!”

“Paul!” Sarah chastised her husband, giving him a playful whack on the arm with a tea towel.

“What?” The middle-aged man protested. “I’m just teasing, you know?”

“You can tease without being inappropriate,” Sarah snorted, before turning to her children. “I just got off the phone with your Nanna and Grandpa in Spain, they wanted to speak to you but when I explained you were both out they understood. They will want to talk to the two of you tonight on Skype, though.”

“Okay,” Lucy said with a shrug- while they rarely saw their grandparents in Spain, the twins got on well enough with them, though not well enough to entrust them with their true identities.

After a quick dinner, the twins tried to relax by watching television with their parents, but stress over the upcoming video call threatened to overwhelm them, causing both to leave the living room early and get the call over and done with.

Luke grimaced as he sat on his sister’s bed while she loaded up Skype on her laptop. It was hardly a new situation for Luke- at university he’d spend many evenings sat on his sister’s bed as they helped each other to study- but he still felt nervous. In all of his time as ‘Luke’, he’d barely even thought about the grandparents that he hadn’t seen in the flesh for over eight years. The last time they saw him, he was a healthy, outwardly happy ten-year-old girl. Luke felt himself fidget as he thought about how they would react to the androgynous-looking person looking back at them from their screen- or rather, at the androgynous people, as Luke was reminded when he saw his sister slick her shoulder-length hair back from her forehead.

“Hey,” Luke whispered. “You okay?”

“Mm?” Lucy replied, before sighing and nodding. “Ugh, yeah… I just want to get this over with, and yes, I know how bad that sounds.”

“Nah, I agree 100%,” Luke snorted. “Even if Nanna Julie and Grandpa Dave are less of a pain than Grandpa Derek and Grandma Eileen, they still- well…”

“I know what you mean,” Lucy whispered, before forcing a smile onto her make-up free face as the Skype call connected and the two well-tanned senior citizens appeared on screen.”

“Hi you two!” The elderly woman said with a wide grin. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” Luke and Lucy replied with wide grins.

“So, what have yas two been up to since we last talked?” The twins’ grandfather asked with a wide grin on his bearded face. “Working hard at university, I hope?”

“Oh- aye, definitely,” Luke replied.

“Not broken too many young girls’ hearts, I hope?” Dave asked, making his taller grandchild fidget uncomfortably.

“…Not YET,” Lucy eventually replied, the meekness of her reply going unnoticed.

“Atta boy!” Dave chuckled. “And you, young lady? Working hard as well, I hope?” Luke bristled and tried his hardest not to frown as he was addressed as ‘young lady’, but a frown still spread across his face as he replied.

“Umm, yeah,” Luke mumbled. “Like… Really hard.”

“And hopefully not being too distracted by all those boys at university?” Julie asked, chuckling as Luke rolled his eyes.

“And I hope you’re looking after your sister, young man!” Dave said, again making Luke bristle.

“We- we kinda look out for each other,” Luke retorted, trying his hardest to keep the anger out of his voice. “And we’ve got a group of friends too, so- yeah.”

“Aye, well that’s good ta hear,” Dave said. “I remember your parents being worried while you were growing up that you two weren’t making as many friends as other kids.”

“I remember them also being worried that you used to wear each other’s clothes!” Julie laughed as her grandchildren tried not to blush. “Thankfully, you grew out of THAT phase quickly!”

“…Yeah,” Lucy chuckled nervously. “Umm, anyway… What- what will you be doing tomorrow?”

“Same as we do every Christmas Day,” Dave chuckled. “Relaxing by the pool, eating dinner with our neighbours, watching the Queen's speech, the usual.”

"Heh, it- it's the usual for us as well," Lucy chuckled.

"Heading to your other grandparents' house for dinner?" Julie asked, smiling as the twins nodded. "Well, be sure and send them our best wishes!"

"Will do," Lucy said, trying her hardest to relax as the conversation moved on to other topics including the weather, sport and countless other things that the twins tried their best to feign interest in.

Luke and Lucy let out a long sigh as the call eventually ended, though while they were relieved that the obligation was over, they were still frustrated that they were no closer to coming out publicly, nor did they have another ally on whose support they could rely.

The twins spent the rest of the evening watching television with their parents, doing coursework, briefly chatting with their friends online and trying hard not to think about the confrontation that awaited them the following day. However, as much as the evening dragged on, it eventually came to an end, and as the twins settled into bed and tried to sleep, the only thing on their minds was how much they missed their university friends- and how much they missed their university lives.

“Come on, wake up!” Lucy heard her father say the following morning as she was shaken awake from her slumber. “Merry Christmas, son!”

“…Merry Christmas, dad,” Lucy replied with what little enthusiasm she could muster up. “What time is it?”

“About four hours later than when you’d have got up five years ago!” Paul chuckled. “Ya mum and ya sister are already awake, so get your dressing gown on, then we can get downstairs and actually start opening some presents!”

“Sure!” Lucy said, forcing a smile on her face as she threw her sheets back, wrapped her plain boy's dressing gown around her cold body and followed her father down to the living room, where her brother was waiting with a frown on his face.

“Merry Christmas Luc- umm, Luke,” Luke said, biting his lip with embarrassment as he used the name that he knew his sister hated, and frowning as he awaited the inevitable unwanted response.

“M- merry Christmas, Lucy,” Lucy replied with an apologetic look in her eyes.

“…Right, well, now that’s over with,” Paul said, sensing the awkwardness in the room, “I’ll just grab your mother then we can start opening your presents! Hopefully THAT will put the smiles back on your faces!” Luke and Lucy both grinned at their father’s suggestion, though as had become the norm for the festive season, both twins dreaded what they were about to open.

After their mother returned to the living room with bacon sandwiches and coffee for the twins, Luke and Lucy began opening their presents, forcing smiles onto their face even as each present proved to be more disappointing than the last.

Lucy felt her heart sink as she unwrapped gifts that obviously contained items of clothing, only to find a new pair of men’s jeans, two men’s sweaters and a handful of t-shirts, including a brand-new Newcastle United FC replica shirt. In her other gifts, she found shaving kits, men’s deodorant sets and fancy beers- all of which seemed to serve to remind Lucy that no matter how hard she tried, she’d never be a ‘real’ woman.

Meanwhile, Luke felt his tension levels rise as he unwrapped gifts such as scented candles, fancy soaps and toiletries and cosmetics sets. Unlike his sister, Luke had left his clothing gifts for last in the vain hope that he’d somehow be able to forget about them, but when the other presents ran out, he knew he couldn't avoid them any longer. As his mother looked on excitedly, Luke felt his stomach churn as he unwrapped a new pair of women’s hipster jeans, two close-fitting t-shirts and worst of all, a brand-new form-fitting dress with long, lacy sleeves and a slender knee-length skirt.

“Umm, th- thanks,” Luke mumbled as he desperately tried not to throw up over the front of the new dress.

“I know you didn’t like the one we got you for your birthday,” Sarah said, “but this one’s a lot more ‘grown-up’.”

“Y- yeah,” Luke stammered anxiously.

“And that’s not all!” Sarah said with an excited giggle as she handed Luke one final present, which Luke was immediately able to deduce was a shoebox from its size and shape. “You’re still a size 5, aren’t you?”

“Umm, aye,” Luke replied, grimacing at the reminder that even his feet were unmistakably feminine. His mood worsened, though, when he opened the shoebox to be greeted by a pair of shiny black pumps with a thick 3” heel.

“Well?” Sarah asked expectantly.

“Umm, uh- thanks,” Luke said, gritting his teeth so as not to scream. “I- umm, I- I’ll try them on later, maybe…”

“Maybe when you go round your grandparents’?” Paul asked, unknowingly causing a sense of panic to grip his child.

“Maybe,” Luke whispered, carefully putting the shoes and the dress to one side, trying his hardest to avoid touching them, almost as though he feared they would burn him.

“Well, you’re going to need to get ready for your grandparents’ in a bit,” Paul said, causing Luke’s stress levels to rise yet again. “Though you've got plenty of time to enjoy your presents in the meantime, heh!”

“Th- thanks,” Lucy said nervously as Paul switched on the television and the twins tried to relax .

Eventually, though, the time came for the twins to head upstairs to change, ready for their trip to their grandparents’ house. Lucy sighed as she exchanged her otherwise comfortable pyjamas for a smart pair of black trousers and a button up white shirt, and while she had never worn heels before- she only wore trainers or flats at university- she still felt a twinge of envy as she laced up her smart black shoes, knowing that her brother had a more feminine option waiting for him. However, as envious as she felt, Lucy felt much worse for her brother, knowing that their parents would be expecting Luke to wear his new dress and shoes to their grandparents- and knowing that his brother would rather die than do that.

As Lucy had assumed, while she was getting ready for their trip to their grandparents’, Luke was pacing back and forth in his room, trying his hardest not to have a panic attack. He hadn’t worn a scrap of make-up in months, hadn’t worn a dress or a skirt in even longer and had never ever worn heels, and yet his parents were expecting him to become the elegant young woman they obviously pictured in their head, no matter how little their mental image reflected reality- or how reluctant he had been nine short months earlier.

Luke wanted to scream and shout at his parents that he wasn’t the woman they wanted him to be, that he was and always had been a boy, but Luke knew that he couldn’t do that for one simple reason- his sister. If Luke were to explain that he was the ‘real’ Luke, it’d raise questions as to who the ‘real’ Lucy was, and Luke knew deep down that his sister would have it ten times harder than him when she came out. Luke and Lucy insisted that everything they did, they did together, but with every passing day, Luke found himself wishing more and more that Lucy was as ‘ready’ as he was…

“Hey,” Lucy said as she gently knocked on her brother’s door. “You ready?” Lucy frowned as she received no response from her brother, before sighing and gently opening the door. Lucy frowned as she entered the room and was greeted by the sight of Luke spread out on his bed, dressed in just a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

“Hey,” Luke grunted. “And before you ask, no, I’m not wearing this to grandma and grandpa’s.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Lucy whispered gently. “Though I- I guess you’re not wearing the dress either?”

“Good guess,” Luke scoffed, before groaning with pain. “How- how deluded are mum and dad, anyway? I literally couldn’t make it any more obvious that I’m not interested in all of that girl shit, and they want to turn me into Kim Kardashian or something.”

“Their presents have been a little ignorant, aye,” Lucy sighed.

“A ‘little’?” Luke snorted, before letting out a sigh of his own. “I- ugh. We knew this holiday was gonna suck. I just didn’t know it’d suck THIS much.”

“Well- it’ll be over soon,” Lucy sighed. “Then we can- heh. We can get ‘back to normal’.”

“Yeah,” Luke said, a smile briefly flitting across his face at the thought. “Ugh, may as well get this over with, I guess.”

“Yep,” Lucy said. “Do you- do you need to borrow anything? Clothes-wise, I mean?”

“Nah, I’ll find something,” Luke grunted. “Ugh, if only we were still the same size, heh. Then I could get rid of the dress to you, heh.”

“And the shoes,” Lucy sighed. “Try finding high heels in a size 10.”

“Try finding shoes like that in a size 5,” Luke snorted as he gestured to the smart shoes on his sister’s feet. “Ugh, I dunno. I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure,” Lucy said, giving her brother’s hand a gentle squeeze as she left the room. However, Luke was far from sure- and secretly, neither was Lucy.

Eventually, though, the twins returned to the living room ready for their trip to their grandparents’ house, and while Lucy felt uncomfortable in her clothes, she at least knew she’d be able to ‘fly under the radar’. However, both twins knew that the same couldn’t be said for Luke.

“Looking smart, son!” Paul said with a grin as he gave Lucy a playful pat on the shoulder.

“Thanks,” Lucy mumbled, gazing over to her brother and their mother, the latter of whom had a confused look on her face.

“Why- why aren’t you wearing your new dress?” Sarah asked as she examined Luke, who was dressed almost identically to his sister.

“I- umm, I just didn’t feel like it,” Luke replied with a shrug, his stomach churning as he suddenly felt like a little boy again- or worse still, like a little girl.

“Well, it- it cost a lot of money,” Sarah said. “Surely you want to get dressed up, don’t you?” You literally learned NOTHING from my birthday, the young man thought to himself as his left fist involuntarily clenched into a fist.

“Well, I- I don’t like wearing dresses,” Luke protested. “Or skirts, or anything like that, I-“ I am a boy, Luke thought to himself. Deep down, I am and always have been a boy. However, as much as he wanted to blurt out the truth, he knew that he couldn’t- not without his sister’s support and approval. “I- umm, I haven’t worn a dress in ages, I just- I just feel more comfortable like this.”

“Well I’m not saying you should wear it around the house,” Sarah snorted. “Just on, like, special occasions. Go and get changed, we’ll wait for you in the car.”

“N- no,” Luke said firmly. “I’d rather wear this.” Luke bit his lip as an angry expression spread across his mother’s face.

“You know,” Sarah said disdainfully, “you have a LOT of growing up to do if you want to live in the real world.”

“So is part of ‘growing up’ letting yourself be dressed by your parents?” Luke asked, immediately regretting the words the second they left his mouth.

“…Okay, you know what?” Sarah snapped. “If you don’t want to go to your grandparents’, then don’t go. We’ll enjoy Christmas Day without you.”

“Works for me,” Luke snorted, turning around to storm back upstairs only to pause and briefly glance into his sister’s eyes. It was only after Lucy nodded her approval that Luke left the room, returning to his bedroom and letting out a long, frustrated scream into his pillow.

Luke spent the next three hours in his bedroom, trying to distract himself with his phone or his PlayStation, but all he could think about was how his actions had threatened to ruin not just his Christmas, but his family’s Christmas, and worst of all, his sister’s Christmas. Luke felt a sense of intense guilt as he thought about Lucy having to endure their grandfather’s jibes alone, without him there to back him up. Luke and Lucy had always said that whatever they did, they did together, and for the first time since they’d come out to each other, they were alone.

Luke hesitantly got off his bed and paced across the room, barely suppressing a shudder at the sight of the dress and the shoes where they’d been left on his chair. Tentatively, Luke approached the garment and gently stroked it with his fingers. It felt soft to the touch, unlike the clothes he was wearing- or even the many dresses he’d been forced to wear as a child. Luke tried to convince himself that even if he did slip the garment on, all it would mean would be that he not a girl, but rather just a boy wearing a dress- no different than when Kieran had worn Lucy’s clothes back to university two months earlier. However, to Luke, that wasn’t the point. He needed to be seen for who he was, not who his parents- or even the rest of the world- expected him to be. Putting on the dress or the shoes would be like admitting defeat, like admitting that he really was just pretending to be a boy all along. And that was a price Luke wasn’t willing to pay.

With a pained sigh, Luke returned to his bed, but his attempts to distract himself were thwarted when his family returned less than twenty minutes later and he heard a pair of gentle footsteps head up the stairs to his room. When his bedroom door opened, however, it wasn’t his sister who was stood in the doorway, but his mother.

“Hi,” Sarah said softly. “Can I- can I come in?”

“…Sure,” Luke mumbled, sitting up on his bed and allowing his mother to sit next to him. “I- I’m sorry…”

“No- no, it’s okay,” Sarah sighed, giving her child a gentle hug. “I’M the one who should be sorry. Of course you shouldn’t have to wear a dress if you don’t want to, I mean, you ARE an adult and you should make that choice for yourself.”

“Th- thanks,” Luke mumbled.

“I just- I suppose I overreacted a bit as it IS an expensive dress,” Sarah said. “But you- you really don’t like it, do you?” Luke’s cheeks flushed as he shook his head. “That’s okay. We’ve still got the receipt and the tags are still on it, so we’ll return it tomorrow and give you the cash. The shoes, too.”

“Thanks,” Luke whispered. “And I- I do appreciate the gesture, I just- umm, I- I just don’t like wearing dresses.”

“Aye,” Sarah whispered, a contemplative look briefly spreading across her face before she continued. “And I- that is, your father and I, we- we have noticed that about you lately. Well, that, and, well- things like you not liking dresses or make-up, the fact that you cut your hair short, the way you reacted when I suggested we went to a salon, we- umm, Lucy, is- is there something you- something you want to tell us?” Luke felt his heart pound as his mother looked at him expectantly. He wanted to scream, yell to his mother that yes, there was something he wanted to tell him, but a glance at the figure of his sister stood in his bedroom door reminded him that the choice wasn’t his alone to make.

“Umm, I just-“ Luke stammered, his heart starting to race.

Not only was his mother not angry about the dress, but she was seemingly encouraging him to tell the truth about himself, with the implication that he’d be accepted no matter what he said. To Luke, it was like a Christmas miracle, but as desperate as he was to finally come out to his parents, the terrified look in his sister’s eyes brought him back to reality. Luke and Lucy had repeatedly said that whatever they did, they did together- always. If Luke came out, he knew he would be putting his sister in an impossible position, and he would never do that to her. No matter how much stress it caused him to keep his true self a secret…

“I, umm…” Luke mumbled. “I’m just- I’ve just got my own, like, style, that’s all.”

“Well- okay, if you’re sure,” Sarah said softly.

“I am,” Luke nodded, biting his lip as he knowingly lied to his mother.

“Okay,” Sarah whispered, making her son fidget as he knew instinctively that she knew he was keeping something from her. “I’m about to make some supper, then we’re going to watch Strictly and Michael McIntyre. Are you feeling up to that?”

“Umm…” Luke said, briefly glancing into his twin’s eyes. “Can you give us a couple of minutes, please?”

“Take all the time you need,” Sarah said softly, giving her child a gentle hug before leaving the room. Seconds later, Lucy took her mother’s place next to Luke on the bed and gave her brother a long, tight hug.

“Hey,” Lucy whispered, smiling sympathetically as Luke tried not to cry.

“H- hey,” Luke sighed. “Ugh… Merry fucking Christmas, eh?”

“Yep, you said it,” Lucy sighed. “Kinda envy you not having to deal with grandma and grandpa, heh.”

“Ugh, sorry you had to go through that alone…” Luke groaned. “Were- were they bad?”

“No worse than usual,” Lucy shrugged. “Usual stuff, like, asking when I’m gonna get a haircut, have I got a girlfriend yet, etc. etc. I- ugh. There’s no ‘good’ way of saying this, but he- I mean, like, grandpa, he- he didn’t even seem to notice that you weren’t there.”

“What a surprise,” Luke sighed as his sister fidgeted awkwardly.

“Luke,” Lucy whispered. “If you- if I, I mean, if I- if you hadn’t seen me in the door, if it’d just been you and mum, would you- would you have, like, come out to her?”

“…Maybe?” Luke replied, frowning as he suddenly felt smaller than ever. “Probably, I- I dunno. I mean, it was like she was actually asking me to tell her the truth, but- ugh. Whatever we do, we do together, right?”

“Aye,” Lucy whispered, giving her twin’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Always.”

“When you’re ready, I’ll be ready,” Luke said softly. “But, like, I can take this as a kind of ‘win’, you know? I don’t have to wear that dress or those shoes and I’m gonna get the money for them, heh.”

“Yeah,” Lucy said with a smile, though both she and Luke knew that a real win would’ve been if she’d been able to wear the dress instead of Luke…

The twins spent the rest of Christmas Day trying to relax, watching TV with their parents and chatting with their friends online. Luke kept the details of the dress from his friends, considering the matter resolved and wanting to put it behind him, but both twins did express an almost desperate desire to be reunited with their friends at university- not least because they both knew they’d have ‘real’ presents waiting for them when they returned.

The next few days seemed to crawl by for the twins. They tried their best to distract themselves with coursework and Christmas television, but no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t escape the fact that while they remained in their parents’ home, Lucy would be forced to present as ‘Luke’ and vice versa. As the days passed, the ‘ray of hope’ Luke received on Christmas Day seemed more and more like a thing of the past, the young man wondering whether or not such an opportunity would ever present itself again, and if it did, whether he’d be ready to take it up- and, moreover, whether or not his sister would also be ready.

Eventually, though, 2019 came to an end, and the start of 2020 brought with it a return to university, where both twins felt safe and free to be themselves once more. On their first evening back in their rooms, Luke and Lucy exchanged the presents they’d bought for each other but weren’t able to exchange in front of their parents- but which meant more to them than any of their other gifts. Luke eagerly unwrapped a Lynx Africa gift set and replacement studs for his football boots. Lucy, meanwhile, had a smile on her face as she unwrapped a new lipstick set, a soft denim pencil skirt and fancy hair accessories. What made Lucy smile the widest, though, was that while she was unwrapping her presents, she was already wearing a short denim skirt, had accessories in her hair and was also wearing lipstick. The twins unwrapped Susie and Gavin’s presents afterwards, and while they were smaller, almost trivial gifts, both twins treasured them as they were intended for the people they were, not the people they had been- or had to pretend to be for their parents' benefit.

A short while later, the twins’ friends began returning from across the country, and it wasn’t long before the group of seven teenagers were sat in their usual spots in the Student Union bar, regaling each other with stories of their Christmases. However, while it was the twins’ story that gripped the group the most, Luke and Lucy were more focussed on the future, rather than the past.

----------

“Well, no arguments there,” Kieran said with a sympathetic smile. “God knows I’m happy to finally be back too."

“Was your Christmas as stressful as ours, then?” Luke asked.

“I…doubt it, somehow,” Kieran chuckled. “I’m just happy to finally be back among friends, heh.”

“And you can never have too many friends!” Gavin toasted, laughing as the group all clinked their glasses together.

“So true,” Lucy sighed happily as she straightened her brand-new denim skirt. “And at least now we have ages to wait until the next time we see our parents.”

“And, like, we know we will have to deal with the same situation again,” Luke said. “But not for months, and that- well, it’ll give us a chance to, like, regroup, sort of thing.”

“Well, if you need any help from us, you only have to ask,” Priya said with a warm smile.

“Ditto,” Susie said, the twins blushing as everyone sat at the table nodded in agreement.

“Though I reckon I’ll be less, like, ‘experienced’ than Priya when it comes to, well, this sort of thing,” Claudia said quietly. “Because of, you know, your two friends in London who are trans?”

“Well- kinda yes and no,” Priya said. “I mean, I know- mostly- what things I should and shouldn’t say, but that’s just more common sense than anything else. Laura and Ashley are both, like, really different people, so- heh. The best way to describe it is ‘everyone’s journey is a different one’- if you two agree?” The Indian girl smiled nervously as the twins both nodded in agreement.

“Can’t argue with that,” Lucy shrugged.

“Even when it comes to the two of us,” Luke said, biting his lip as he remembered the opportunity he’d had on Christmas Day- and the reason he’d passed it up. “And, like, not just ‘cause we’re ‘going the opposite way’.” Luke grimaced as he exchanged an awkward glance with his sister.

“Anyways,” Lucy said. “What’s everyone got planned for tonight?”

“Literally nothing,” Gavin replied. “Dunno if the LGBT society has planned anything, I’ve not seen anything on Facebook or WhatsApp.”

“Netflix night in our room, then?” Luke asked, smiling as his friends all nodded in agreement.

Later that night, as the seven teenagers crammed into the small room, the twins mused on how they’d come through their latest challenge unscathed, but seemingly only by the skin of their teeth. Luke thought about how close he’d been to finally being able to live as his true self- though the more he thought about it, the more he realised that just because his mother was asking ‘the question’, it didn’t mean she’d like the answer if he’d said it to her. And the more he thought about it, the guiltier he felt as he realised that despite Lucy becoming increasingly feminine even when presenting as 'Luke', neither of their parents saw in her what they thought they saw in him- something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Lucy either.

Even though she was dressed the way she wanted, Lucy still struggled to get comfortable as she and her friends watched their movie together. She knew deep down that while their parents might be willing to hear the truth about her brother, the same could not be said about her. No matter how feminine she presented, her father and especially her grandfather would never accept the truth. And while Lucy didn’t begrudge the 'opportunity' her brother had had on Christmas day, she didn't want to ‘hold him back’ either. Lucy couldn’t help but feel that their promise to each other to always do things together was going to be more difficult than ever to keep…