The Joiners pt 13.

by
Angharad

Carrie stayed indoors most of the time as the builders were busy doing things in the drive. She did go shopping with her mother a couple of times and managed to cadge some more tights and a new lip gloss. She was definitely on her own now, as the others had gone back to school but the school had sent her some work to do via the internet all she had to do was remember to use her old name when she sent it back to them for marking.

Judi Herring phoned and asked them to come and see her, Penny accepted the last appointment so it wouldn't put her friend under such pressure if she knew there were no further patients. Carrie had been slopping around the house in jeans and a tee shirt with just a cardigan when it got cooler but she treated the visit to the doctors as an event and put on a dress. She'd had the MRI scan and they hoped this was going to explain what exactly was going on in her body.

She smoothed her dress under her as she got in the car and all the way to the health centre she felt anxious, what if it showed she was really a boy? She'd just die, she really would. She was so focused on her possible dilemma that she didn't notice they'd come to a stop, Penny having parked the car in the health centre car park. "Ready?" she asked her daughter. No answer was forthcoming. "Carrie, are you ready?" she asked a little louder and Carrie visibly started. "Okay?" she asked Carrie.

"I don't know, what if the scan shows I'm a boy?" she looked very anxious.

"The scan won't determine who you are, darling, all it can show is a few body parts."

"But I've just got used to the idea that I'm not a boy physically so if it shows I am, I'll just die."

"No you won't, I think if it does show anything it will be dysfunctional."

"What d'you mean, Mummy?" she still looked very concerned almost frightened.

"That it doesn't work. Your body is not getting more masculine if anything it's becoming more female, so if you have any boy parts they clearly don't work."

"I hope so," Carrie sighed.

"Come on, let's go and see what Judi wanted to see us for."

Of course Judi was running late and despite Carrie having a music magazine to look at, she was fidgeting and sweating, unable to relax waiting for the executioner's axe to fall. Finally, when she thought they were going to wait all night, Judi called them into her room.

"Sorry Carrie, took me a moment to find all the reports I needed." they sat down beside her desk. "Right this is what your insides look like when viewed through magnetic resonance images." She turned the screen so they could see it more easily. "Now I'm no expert on interpreting these things but I know a man who is." She picked up a sheet of typed paper, "There are no sign of testes, this is therefore not a male abdomen, there are rudimentary ovarian and uterine structures though the pubis has closed over and urethra appears to have lengthened possibly as a result of some masculinisation during the foetal development. So this is an undeveloped female abdomen."

"So I really am a girl?" said Carrie not entirely certain of what she'd just seen.

"Yes, an undeveloped one or underdeveloped. Now whether we can encourage the structures to grow or whether they'll need removing, we need to determine and for that you'll need to see a paediatric gynaecologist."

"I didn't know we had such things," said Penny.

"If I have girl bits, why have we got to remove them?" Carrie was looking very confused.

"Sometimes when these structures only partly form, they can become diseased and that means we have to remove them to protect the rest of your body. But if you look here, these hair like structure are fallopian tubes, they should be bigger than that and they might all possibly grow with the right instructions."

Carrie patted herself on the tummy and said loudly, "Grow, girly bits. Right I've told them," she said to the two women who were laughing loudly.

"Uh no, Carrie, the instructions need to come from hormones."

"Oh yeah, hormones are messenger substances, we did that in biology."

"Absolutely right, they make things happen in your body, sex hormones make your secondary characteristics develop..."

"Or not," quipped Carrie.

"Well, something is happening because you're developing some slight breast structure and your hips are wider than the average boy's."

"So why can't I just take hormones?"

"It's not that straightforward, young woman, and you are a young woman, if we just give you hormones it may have an effect upon the uterus or your ovaries but the effect may be to make them bigger or it could be to make them diseased. So we need to send you to an expert to see if we can predict what will happen if we start giving you hormones to kick-start things."

"If she develops the normal reproductive set, how will the uterus - um - you know deal with menses?" asked Penny.

"If that happens we'd need to create a cervix, there may well be tissue there already and labia and shorten the urethra."

"Surgically?" asked Penny quietly.

"Uh yes, whatever happens, Carrie is going to need some surgical intervention to either restyle what should have been there or to remove any diseased tissue."

"I'm gonna need an operation, like a sex change?"

"Carrie, you won't be having a sex change, you are XX chromosomes, you're female, what operation you will need will depend upon the advice of the experts and what these bits inside you are doing. Something else I have to tell you, is because of the external appearance, they will also ask you if you would like to stay as a boy."

"What?" gasped Carrie, "no bloody way, I'm female. I'm female, Mummy, I never was a boy, I was right all along." she hugged her mother with tears in her eyes, "I'm a girl, I'm a girl, yippee."

"Yes, I know sweetheart, and I'm so pleased for you but we're not out of the woods yet, you're a special girl and will still need the help of some very clever doctors and nurses to enable you to live like a normal one."

"Yeah, I know all that, but I really am a girl, Mummy. It wasn't all in my head, it was my body, I was right, I was right." Tears were running down Carrie's face as she dealt with the news. She was triumphant in her self-belief, she had been right and okay they had some bits to sort, she'd deal with that later, today, she was going to celebrate being what she always wanted to be and always thought she was. This was the best day of her life.

They arrived back at home and the casserole Penny had made using the slow cooker was filling the kitchen with wonderful, mouth-watering aromas but Carrie was too excited to think of food, she was as high as a kite and ran in throwing herself at her father who hugged her, "I'm a girl, Daddy, I'm a real girl, I've got girl bits inside me, I'm a real girl." Once ensconced in his arms, she burst into tears repeating her mantra, "I'm a real girl," over and over.

"No one ever doubted you were, Poppet," cooed her dad as he held her sobbing body while Tara looked on in surprise.

"You really have got a sister," said Penny quietly to Tara.

Tara's eyes got larger before she replied, Oh wow, that's um, great. Yeah, I'm really glad."

The evening went in a blur for Carrie, she did manage to force down a small plate of casserole and despite her worries she wasn't sick. Penny had copies of both the reports of the buccal cell chromosome test that the endocrinologist had done and also the one from the radiologist who'd interpreted the MRI scan. Penny also said quietly to Rob after the two girls had gone upstairs to phone Macey, about the probability that some sort of surgery was inevitable either to correct the external genitalia and or to check or remove the internal sex organs.

"That's a bit harsh isn't it? Waiting until you're fourteen to discover you have them only to find they have to take them away in case they go bad. What rotten luck."

"I thought that when Judi was telling us, the irony and the poignancy of it all. I know it's all simply bad luck and while she's rejoicing now, there might come a time when she's distressed because they want to take the bits away in case they're cancerous, which is what Judi said sometimes happens, so she'd going to need biopsies before too long and an appointment with a paediatrician who can sort out gynae stuff as well, and also with a surgeon, hopefully one who won't want to remove everything on spec. Judi said there was a small chance the bits would grow with the right sort of hormones."

"Life has its bittersweet moments," said Rob staring into the glass of red wine he held. "That casserole was delicious, Pen."

"Good, I'm thinking if we were tissue compatible, and Carrie's bits aren't saveable that perhaps she could have mine, I don't plan on having anymore children."

"You'd do that for her?" asked Rob, eyes widening.

"Yeah, wouldn't you?" Penny smiled back at him.

"I don't know, probably a kidney if it was necessary, so yeah, I suppose I would, though being a red blooded male, I ain't got no girly bits, but my boy bits are in fine working order, missus."

"Ask me later," she said quickly when the clomp of footsteps clattered down the stairs and into the dining room.

"I've been looking on the internet," said an out of breath Carrie, "they can do all sorts of things now, there's this place in America..."

"Hold your horses, young woman, we have to deal with the local people first and I suspect America might be out of our price range, sorry an' all that, but we have to keep this in some sort of perspective. Now just remember, twelve hours ago you had no idea that any of this was happening, so let's all calm down and get Judi to organise appointments to see whoever we have to see. I shall inform the company who we have the health insurance with what has been discovered and see how much they'll let us do privately. As it's all natural stuff, I hope they'll pay for visits for assessment and any surgery that's necessary. If not we'll have to use the good old NHS as we can.

"Besides we need to go cautiously, we don't know what these bits are like inside you and if we can get them to develop safely, all well and good, if not then they'll have to go, but that will be a last resort and if we can save them, let's try and do that. This could take months or years to correct, Carrie, so we're not rushing at it like a bull at a gate, okay?"

"Yes, Daddy, it's just I've waited for years for this."

"I know, sweetheart, so a bit longer shouldn't be that difficult, the important thing is that we can say you are a girl and we have evidence to support it, I shall write to the registrar's office and send them copies of these documents and see if we can get your birth certificate changed as the original was issued in error. So we've plenty to keep us busy while we wait for the doctors to get themselves ready.

"Think of this as a war or campaign not a single battle, some things that happen will be desired some will be very much unwanted or even not wanted. We have to deal with all of these, but at the end of the day, you will still be a girl, still be a female that they can't take away from you unless you want them to. So you're not changing your sex, you're just confirming it."

"I think that's what some transgender people say about their surgery, Rob."

"They don't do they? Oh bugger."

Penny put her hand on her husband's shoulder, "You're a good man, Rob, and I only know these things after reading stuff on the net, there's loads of it, some is really interesting, some is off the wall and some seems to be written by people who are either trying to make a point which is lost in translation or they are bitter and twisted. Mind you, when you read of things that went on years ago, some of them have a perfect right to feel that way."

"Where did you see all that, Mummy?" asked Carrie, her parents forgetting she was there for a moment.

"I can't remember now, sweetie, but there's all sorts of rubbish plus an apparently thriving element of fiction ranging from stuff you could read to your maiden aunt and some which would be considered relatively hard core pornography."

"That's no good, Mummy, I'm not allowed to read porn," complained Carrie, "and it might be nice to read something with people like me in it."

"You're a girl, so mainstream fiction should be fine for you," said Penny blushing.

"Yeah, but I'm not a normal girl am I and I may never be one, so why can't I read some fiction about people like me?"

"All right, I saw one site that might have some suitable stories, one about a locksmith girl or something like that and another about some kid who rides a bike and can't decide if he's male or female, but they may be suitable. We'll look tomorrow, off to bed with you now, sweetheart, and tell Tara half an hour."

"Yeah, okay," Carrie kissed and hugged both her parents and went off up to bed passing the message on to her sister. They both hugged as well.

"I'm glad you're a proper girl," she said giving Carrie a squeeze.

"I'm not yet, sis, but I'm gonna get there."

"I know, and I'm gonna help you all I can."

"Thanks, Tar," she kissed her big sister on the cheek and went to bed.