The long road home
Chapter one, three suit cases.

That day was like any other really. I woke up, got dressed, ate breakfast, said goodbye to mom and I was out the door and on my way to school.

Not knowing that was the last time I'd ever see my mom again.I was sitting in class when there was a knock on the door and in walked the principle Mrs Olivia and the school resource officer, Officer Garrido.

I was surprised when they called my name and all the other students in my 7th grade class made their ooohh somebody's in trouble sounds and snikered as I was told to grab my things and come with them.

I'm sure most of them felt bad when they would later learn the real reason behind my leaving that day.

I considered myself a good kid I didn't ever cause any trouble well no more then was expected from a twelve year old boy.

I was an avarage student and had a couple avarage friends and well, I was just avarage.

But that day my avarage life was torn apart. You know how in the movies when someone is told some devastating news and everything goes quite and there is a high pitched ringing?

Well its not real. When I was told that my mom was killed by a drunk driver on her way to work not even an hour after I had left for scool there was no ringing.

But I'm sure that everyone in the school heard the almost inhuman high pitched screech that came from me.

My mom Kelli Louise Miller died on August twenty second two thousand and seventeen, killed by Shaun Price who was three times over the legal limit at seven thirty in the morning when he crossed the center median and hit her head on at over a hundred miles an hour, she was twenty seven. My name is Billy "Butch" Miller. And this is my story.

I can't really recall much about that time, I didn't really block it out as much as everything just kind of blured together.

I figured I was an orphan, doomed to be a ward of the state like my friend Leland who was on his fourth foster family by the time we had met so I knew the future I now faced.

The funeral was over and I was completely lost as what to do. I had been staying with one of my moms best friends who was also our neighbor.

Molly and Rick were hit pretty hard by my moms death they had known each other for the eight years since we moved here and molly was like a sister to my mom. Always doing stuff together and helping each other out, we were more then neighbors we were family. They let me share a room with their sons James and Grant till the state could figure out what to do with me.

They said they would adopt me if they could but like me and mom they weren't the best off financially and already having three kids in a three bedroom apartment it was hard enough as it was.

Their Kaitlyn got a room all to herself cause she was the only girl. And the boys room was cramped as it was with just the two of them so I understood.

I stayed with them for over a week when the social worker finally came and told me it was time to talk about my future.

I was brought to the living room and sat down on the couch across from my social worker Mrs. Lane.

"Hey Billy how are you doing today?" She smiled warmly as I sat down.
"I'm ok I guess considering everything".

"Well we have some good news for you" she said laying a folder on the coffee table.
"We were able to locate your dad and he's agreed to take you in".

I immediately felt angry but I held it in.
"My dad? You mean my sperm donor" I grunted.

"Oh why do you say it like that?" She asked picking up her pen and note pad.
"He walked out on us, abandoned us when I was only two" I was trying to keep my anger in check but it was hard when it came to that asshole.

"All this time he hasn't wanted anything to do with me and now he wants to play dad" Mrs. Lane gave me a strange look.

"Billy, there seems to be some details that were kept from you but I promise you your dad was extremely excited to hear from us and was very eager to accept an interview".

"S....he has been looking for you for quite some time it seems" she picked up the folder and placed it back in her bag.

"Your dad didn't know if you knew anything about him so he asked me if you didn't that you let him explain everything himself".

"What do you mean himself?" I asked standing up.
"He's coming here to pick you up, he passed all the interviews with flying colors normally we would have set up an interview with both of you but there is a reason we have decided against it and instead opted for a probation period instead" she said standing up.

"Why can't I meet him first, I don't want anything to do with him" I felt tears coming as I pushed past her and walked into the shraed bedroom.

I could still hear them through the paper thin walls.
"Are you sure this is the right way?" Molly asked.
"Unfortunately yes, Bre... I mean Brandon is afraid that Bill will freak out and not give him a chance so we feel this is the best way to go about this and on top of that he is still Bill's Parent since there was never an official divorce or custody hearing" Mrs lane said as I heard them leave the house.

Had I not been so upset I would have noticed how odd their conversation was.
My dad Brandon William Miller is a total piece of shit, he got my mom pregnant at fifteen, he was sixteen and they married when she turned sixteen which is apparently still legal in that state or was at that time anyway and in less then three years he was gone.

I don't even Remember him, All I have is one picture from him and my mother's wedding day.

He and mom made a decent looking couple, he was about the same height and build as her. He had long hair in a ponytail and from what mom had told me about him he had been in a band back then. Mom looked really pretty other then the fact she also looked very pregnant you wouldn't have thought anything was wrong with this picture or that it was two sixteen year olds. I was born two weeks after the wedding.

And by the time I turned two he was gone, and mom had burned all her bridges with my grandparents I never knew why that was but mom had cut contact and hadn't seen them in years.

I remember the last time I saw them was when I was around four at a family reunion back when we still lived in Oregon. Grandma had brought this other lady over and was about to introduce her to me when mom picked me up and yelled something at grandma and the other lady before we left in a hurry.

After that I no longer saw any of them cause we moved soon after.
It was just me and mom all this time.
We lived in Topeka for a few months but one day we just left and ended up here in Wichita Kansas not the biggest city in the world but not the smallest either, mom worked at the local dispatch call center as a nine one one operator so there were a ton of EMS people at her funeral.

I had a lot of people who were interested in adopting me apparantly but the rule is closest next of kin gets first chance.

I sat there on my floor mat with my back against the bed when there was a knock at the door.
"Can I come in" Mrs. Molly asked.
"Yes, its unlocked".

She came in and sat down beside me and we just sat for a few minutes not saying anything.

"You ok bub" she asked in her Minnesota accent,Molly had grown up in little pop as she called it and had moved here to help take care of her grandmother who was dieing of cancer and she just never left.

So every now and then her accent would show through.
"I'm okay I just. I don't know anything about my dad. All these years he's not had anything to do with me and now he wants to jump in and play parent" I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.

"Thats not how it works" I said frustrated.
"Oh boy, look I can't go into much detail but I can going by the conversation I had with..."she paused.

"Yer pops on the phone earlier tell you that he definitely is excited to finally get to see you again and I won't say there's not gonna be any surprises but I really think you should give him a chance"

"Please, for me?" She smiled.
Molly had always been like an aunt to me and if it wasn't for all her help in the last week I don't know where I'd be.

I leaned into her and nodded.
"I'll try".
"That's the spirit" she hugged me and we just sat there like that for a bit.
I didn't know what the future held for me but I figured I need to at least give it a shot.

It was two days later, I had all my stuff packed. Me and mom didn't have much so after the furniture was sold and all the non sentimental things donated all I had left in life was three suit cases.

I was sitting on the little porch with my bags packed and ready to go.
At around eight o'clock a lifted white chevy Silverado with a loud exhaust turned onto our street. It pulled up and stopped out front.

I couldn't see who was driving but It definitely didn't look like my dad from what I did see.
I stood up and walked towards the truck as the driver side door opened up and I saw a pair of legs come into view as the driver jumped down.

The truck was lifted with some mud tires and tinted windows.
But the legs I saw were those of a girl.
I stood there and waited the few seconds as the legs made their way around the truck.

This woman was cute, wearing a knee length black pleated skirt with aqua blue inner pleats, three tone white,black and grey leggings with a mudvayne tshirt and white and blue converses with her brown hair in short pig tails and her bangs swept to one side and various bracelets on her wrist. She looked like a teenager but you could tell she was in her mid twenties.

She stopped as soon as she saw me and for a moment I thought she was gonna cry as she brought both hands up to cover her mouth but it seemed as if she quickly composed herself.

She walked over to me and stood infront of me. "Billy?" She asked almost choking up.
"Ah...yes and who are you?".

"I'm Brianna, I'm your dads wife" she seemed nervous as she giggled and scratched the back of her head.

"And where is he at?" I asked obviously irritated that he once again flaked on me.
"Well he had some things to handle back at work so he sent me to come get you" she smiled and went "ta da".

"But he is really, really excited to see you" she said gently grabbing my shoulders and squeezing a little.

"She's weird" I thought.
"Oh hello you must be Breanna" Molly said as she and Rick walked outside.
"Ah... yes thats me nice to meet you she shook their hands.

"Would you like to come in for a minute?" Molly asked.
"Ah... sure if its not too much a burden" Breanna said.
"Oh not at all come on in, Billy please load your bags in the truck" Molly said.

"The back door is unlocked" Breanna said as the adults walked inside. I knew there was no use in arguing or trying to stay.
So I just sighed and opened up the back door.

The truck was clean on the inside and smelt nice from the air freshener.
I loaded my bags up and then walked back to the house just in time to catch the last bit of a conversation.

"Well I wish you the best of luck" Molly said as she smiled and shook Breanna's hand.
They sat and made small talk while I said my goodbyes to everyone.

Grant being the same age as me was taking it really hard he is my best friend and we practically grew up together.

"I'm gonna miss you man" he said crying as he hugged me.
"I know I'm gonna miss you too" I said hugging him back".

"Maybe you can come visit me later" I said as we stopped hugging.
"Yeah maybe, it's gonna suck this summer not having you here" he said sitting on his bed.

"I know bro but I guess it is what it is" I said.
It was about an hour later when the time finally came.

I gave everyone a hug and said my goodbyes before climbing into a total strangers truck.

It was quite for a few minutes as we rode through town.
"So where are we going?" I asked.
"Oh I thought they told you" She said making a turn onto the interstate.

"Well honestly everyone was real weird about the whole issue I didn't get much information other then my dad was coming to pick me up but apparently even that information was faulty " I said looking out the window.

"Well he wanted to come but he is a very busy guy with a lot of responsibilities so he sent my lazy butt instead " she chuckled.

"I mean I haven't seen him, well in ever you would think he'd want to be here himself but I guess thats just in his nature" I said.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked seeming almost hurt by what I had said.

"He's a flaker the type to just run away from responsibility I mean he walked out on us and left my mom to struggle" I was getting angry.

"Oh I see, so thats what she told you happened" Breanna said looking straight ahead.

I could have swore I saw a tear roll down her cheek.
"Whats that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Nothing just... so what kinda music you like" she asked changing the subject.
"I like classic country the most but I also like rock and grunge mom was big into that stuff" I said.

"That she was" Breanna said.
"Did you know my mom?" I asked.
"Well yeah we were best friends in high school and I lived with her and her folks for a while due to some family issues when I was a teen and yes your mom loved going to concerts and loved music" .

"Really?"
"Oh yes she was actually a very good singer we were in a small garage band together" she smiled.

"Really? I didn't know that". I knew mom could sing from the times she would sing listening to the radio while doing housework but I never knew she was in a band.

"Yeah it was fun but we never went anywhere".
"So where are we heading again?" I asked.

"Oh we're going to where me and your mom grew up. Astoria in Oregon" she winked at me.

I have very vague memories of Astoria, Thats where me and mom lived till I was four and mom had her falling out with her folks.

"Are my grandparents still there?" I asked.
"Mom and pop, sure are and they are very excited to see you again" she smiled and laughed.

"Wait you know them?"
She looked flustered for a moment.
"Well ah...yes I do know them its a small town and everyone knows everyone and Nick and Martha are like everyone's grandparents in the community and like I said I did live with them for a bit" she did that back of the head scratch again and sounded nervous.
"Oh yeah you did say that" I sat back and looked out the window.

My bullcrap meter was going off about something but I decided to let it go for the moment.
"So why aren't we flying its a really long drive if I'm not mistaken" I said looking at her for another weird response.

"Oh I don't fly I was in a small plane crash when I was little.
"Whoah was anyone killed?" I asked.
"Oh no no no ah no one was hurt bad just some bumps and bruises, it was just scary is all. My dad was in the Marines stationed in California and me and mom had just got back home from visiting him and the small plane we were on had a mechanical issue".

"What happened?".
"Well I was only eight at the time but from what mom has told me only two wheels came down and we had to land and skid across the runway" she made scratching noise and used her hand to emphasize.

"Luckily we had a great pilot and no one was seriously hurt, the plane didn't even catch on fire or anything" she laughed.

"It was still very scary so as far as I'm concerned if Jesus wanted me to fly He would have given me wings and tail feathers " she laughed as we cruised down the road.

I was starting to relax a bit, Brianna didn't seem too bad. In fact she seems like a fun character.

"So are we gonna stop anywhere along the way?" I asked.
"I have a few places in mind" she smiled and reached under the center console with her free hand and pulled out a map booklet and handed it to me.

"I have till Tuesday to get back to work so I figured we could do a little sightseeing on the way home".

As we were driving I got to thinking.
"Hey Mrs. Breanna....

"Oh sweetie call me Bree or just Breanna!"
"I'm not your teacher" she chuckled.
"Oh.. ok Breanna why weren't you or grandma and grandpa at moms funeral?"

Like a switch was flipped her smile faded away and she gripped the steering wheel she was quite for a moment "Till we got the call from your social worker we had no idea where you and Kelli were much less that....." she wiped a tear from her eye.

"That anything had happened to her so by then the funeral had already taken place or I know we would have been there".
"She really did cut you guys out of her life didn't she?" I asked.

"Your mom was a good person but she had her issues and there were some opinions that her and your grandparents didn't see eye to eye on mainly about your dad and some stuff he was going through at the time" Bree looked out the driver side window but I could tell she was trying not to cry.

"If you want you can try the radio its satellite so you just find what you want" she said.
I guess if we kept talking she wouldn't be able to hold it in".

I found a classic country station and it was playing some Bellamy Brothers.

I know its odd for someone my age to like this type of music but honestly its just something I've always liked. Something about the oldies that just sounds right.

We drove and listened to the radio for the better part of the morning and part of the afternoon.

Around one o'clock we pulled off the interstate and headed towards a diner.
"I stopped here yesterday on my way in and they have some great burgers and milkshakes " Bree said as we were getting out of the truck.

I'm not the tallest guy in town so I had to climb out of the truck.
"This my dads truck?" I asked as I walked around the front.

"Yes, you could say that" She said as we walked in.
We were seated.

"I really like the feel of this place gives me that old school sock hop feel" she said looking through the menu.

"Yeah I like it too, I really wish there were more places like this" I said as I settled on the cowboy burger.

"Yeah no matter how much technology and society progresses they will never match the styles and class of the classics" she sat her menu down and was about to say something else but was interrupted by a phone call. Her phone was laying on the table by her purse and I saw the caller ID said "Hubby".

She answered the phone "Hey, uh huh, yes it's going good yep, a few stops but we should be back by Sunday".

"Yep...ok..

"Hey billy do you want to say high?" She asked me.
I didn't know what to say, I was nervous cause I have never even heard my dads voice before.

"No, no ma'am I'd rather our first conversation be in person" I said.
I caught a slight look of relief flash across her face.

"No, he wants his first conversation to be in person" she said.
"I understand, love you too bye bye" she then hung up the phone and put it in her purse.

We sat there listening to the sounds of the diner, the jukebox was playing some beach boys and the clank of the work in kitchen filled the air along with some indiscernible chit chat amongst the other patrons.

It was a pretty day for a trip, blue sky barely any clouds and around seventy degrees with a slight breeze.

"So what's my dad like?" I asked.
"Well. He's handsome, sweet and caring. He's a hard worker and is a boss behind a grill" she smiled.

"What does he do for a living?"
"Well he helps manage his dads forestry business. A timber harvesting company and saw mill in town, Lumber is big business there".

"Oh, neat" I said as our food arrived.
I was about to dig in when I noticed that Breanna had her hands out".

"Ah...?"
"You wanna say grace?" She asked.
"Ah... no you can do it?" I said blushing.

We both bowed our heads and she led a quick Prayer."Lord Jesus thank you for this food we are about to receive, and thank you for this time we get to spend getting to know each other, thank you Father for good company and safe travel's amen"

"Amen" I said.
It was after that we started eating.
"So you're religious?" I asked.

"Not religious, but I am a Christian" she smiled.
"You?" She asked before taking a bite from her burger.

"I, don't know. Me and mom use to go to church a long time ago when we lived in Topeka for a bit but I never liked it there" I said as I took a bite from my own burger.

"Holy crap this is delicious" I thought to myself.
"Why didn't you like it there if I may ask?".

"Well I was little but from what I remember the whole place gave me a bad vibe and every time we went somewhere people would get so angry and mad at us I actually got hit in the face with a water bottle someone threw out of their car at us once while we were standing on a street corner holding signs".

"Wow I knew she was opinionated but, I never knew she was so bad as to go to that place" Breanna looked peeved like she wanted to say more but she held it in.

"Well luckily our Church is a bit more likable then that one, If you don't want to go we won't force you but we have one heck of a youth program and I think you would have a lot of fun" she smiled.

After we finished eating we got us some milk shakes to go, I got their hot brownie shake. Vanilla shake with hot fudge brownies mixed in and it was delicious".

After lunch we were back on the road and Waylon Jennings song I've always been crazy came on.

I turned it up and started to sing, Breanna was smiling and tapping the steering wheel with her thumbs.

It was nice just to have that little moment.
After the song I turned the radio back down and was looking out the window.

"So what do you like to do when you aren't singing in concerts Mr. Jennings?" Breanna asked.

"Well I like to sing obviously, and I enjoy fishing and being outside with my friends" I said in my best Jennings voice.

"Really well that sounds fun maybe we can squeeze in some fishing somewhere before we get home" she looked at me and winked.

At that moment It hit me, I didn't want to but I felt my eyes start to get watery and my lips started to tremble as a sudden pang of sadness hit me like a big truck.

I started bawling.
"Oh no I'm sorry Billy I didn't...

"No....It....its....o...k I just....need ah mo...ment" I was wiping my eyes with some tissues from a box on the floor board.

Next thing I knew we were pulling over on the side of the interstate.
"Take all the time you need" She said with tears in her own eyes.

She hesitated for a moment but she started to rub my back as I cried.
It felt good.

I was in the middle of my brake down when there was a sudden knock at the door.
We both looked and there was a Kansas highway patrol Officer.

Breanna rolled down her window.
"Is everything ok here?" He asked.
"Yes officer just needed a brake" She said.
"I don't mean to pry but why is the boy crying?" He asked

"Can I get out and talk to you outside?" Bree asked.
"You don't have any weapons on you do you?".
"Not on me I do have a glock in my purse though I have a carry permit for it" she said.

"Is that the purse?" He asked pointing at her purse that was down in the floorboard on top of the transmission well.

"Yes sir".
"May I hold onto it?"

"Yes you may" she said and he opened the door reached in and picked it up.

"Ok you can step out".
"I'll be right back ok" she patted me on my back again.

She got out and shut the door and they walked to the back of her truck.
I didn't pay much attention to them I was too busy thinking about my mom.

The weekend before she died we had gone fishing. Mom was an awsome angler something she apparently inherited from grandpa.It was our favorite thing to do In the summer and spring.
We had gone to the lake at the park and rented one of their peddle boats and spent the day fishing on the small lake and playing on the beach.
We didn't get to do things like that often cause it was pricy but mom had recently gotten a bonus for helping save someone at work who was injured and had their arm cut really bad she had given them instructions on how to slow the bleeding and stayed on the phone with them till the ambulance arrived. She was told had she not had him do that right then he would have bleed to death before the ambulance arrived and she was given a $300 bonus for her actions.

Mom was so happy that day,It was so much fun just spending time together. Her laugh, her smile,God I miss my mom.

I took out my moms phone from my pocket.
It had survived the crash and even though It had no minutes on it there is a ton of pictures and videos she had taken over time. I was looking at the last picture we took on that day of me and her on the boat making funny faces when the door opened and Bree reached in and opened the console pulling out a small folder.

"I'll be right back, got to prove I'm not kidnapping you" she smiled.
"You ok?" She asked.

"Yep, I'm fine" I wiped my eyes and gave her all the smile I could muster which wasn't much.
"Good I'll be right back" she said closing the door and going back to the officer.
She handed him the folder and he started to look through it..

After a minute he shook her hand and handed the folder and her her purse back to her.
He turned and went back to his cruiser as Bree walked back to the truck.

He left as she was climbing in.
"All good?" I asked finally composing myself.
"Yep, he thought we were broke down and needed assistance then he just had to verify I wasn't kidnapping you" she said putting the folder back in the console.

"Whats that?" I asked.
"Oh this, its your paperwork from social services it shows I'm your legal guardian and have permission to travel with you" she said closing the console.

"You good to go or do you need a minute?" She asked.
"I'm ok we can go I just...needed a minute".

"It's fine and remember if you need anything just let me know" she said putting the truck in drive.

We got back on the road and made small talk for the rest of the day.
About eight o'clock that night we pulled into a hotel in Limon Colorado.

After we got checked in we went to our room on the third floor.
"I'm so tired"Bree moaned as she fell face first into one of the two beds.

"I'm gonna go down to the pool area if thats ok" I said pulling a pair of swim trunks from my overnight bag.

"Thats fine just be back around ten" she was muffled by the pillow but gave me a thumbs up.

"And be careful" she lifted her head up to say as I was heading to the door simultaneously swapping my jeans for the trunks.
"I will" I said.

I went down to the pool and there was only a few people mulling around.
I walked over to the hot tub not really in the mood to swim.

I eased myself into the nice warm water and let the bubble jets sooth me.
I was pretty relaxed and had been there for a bit when I heard the door open and this loud couple came stumbling in laughing so loud it was echoing throughout the large room.

The man looked to be in his mid forties with a graying goatee and white spiked hair like that guy off the food channel with the old red Camaro, he was fit and looked like he worked outside for a living and I could smell the alchohol from accross the room.

The woman looked to be in her mid to late thirties again she looked like she spent plenty of time in the sun.
Blonde wearing a two piece hot pink bikini and bright green flip flops obviously a mom with the small pouch and stretch marks.

They stumbled over and without even so much as a high how are ya they joined me in the hot tub.They were acting like teenagers.

"Hey buddy sorry didn't realize you were in here" the guy said giving me a light shoulder bump.

"Its ok I was just about to get out" I said as I went to get up.
"Aww ain't no biggie little brother hang out a bit" he laughed.

"Sorry we're on our anniversary and just got back from the bar" the woman laughed.

"Its ok, so how long you guys been married?"
"Twenty two years today, we're also celebrating an empty nest" the guy laughed.
"Our youngest just went off to college so we decided to take an motercycle trip and sight see" the lady said stretching out under the water.

"So what brings you out here?"The guy asked putting his arm around the woman and smiling.

"I'm on my way with my dads wife moving to Oregon" I said looking down and twittling my thumbs under the water.

"Step moms huh" he winked.
"Yeah kinda, My real mom died last week and my dad lives in Oregon so he sent her down to get me, I'm sorry I shouldn't have mentioned that" I said wiping my eyes.

Talk about instant buzzkill that seemed to sober the two of them up pretty quickly and I felt the mood die down.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry we didn't mean...." the lady went to say.

"It's ok, I shouldn't have said it and ruined your guys night" I said cutting her off.
"Hey buddy you didn't ruin anything, I know exactly how awful that is, I lost my mom when I was sixteen and it messed me up for a while" he said with a sympathetic smile.

"I know it seems rough right now, but life has to go on when ever you feel sad just remember the good times and they will get you through".

He said moving closer and placing his hand on my shoulder. "The pain never really goes away but it will get easier I promise, just remember that you don't have to shoulder it alone I know the temptation to push people away is strong I did it for years but I was an idiot to do that, don't be afraid to let others in ok buddy" he let go and moved back to his wife.

"Thanks I will" I said wiping my eyes.
"I'm shane and this is Debbie by the way" he introduced them.

"Its nice to meet you guys I'm billy" I said.

We ended up making small talk for a bit longer. Shane is a welder for a large construction company and debbie works with him as a bull dozer operator.

They were from lousiana and had three kids and two grand kids.
I told them a bit about me and my mom and honestly I felt a lot better afterwards.

I said my goodbyes and headed back to the room. When I walked in the lights were on and the bathroom door was closed with the shower running.

I went to knock and let Bree know I was back but I stopped when I heard sobbing.
It hit hard but I kept it in.

I honestly don't know how close she and my mom had been but I felt for her as I decided to get my shower in the morning and just went to bed.