Pas de Deux A novel by Bronwen Welsh A Sequel to 'Antonette's Story' Copyright 2021

Chapter 5   Raymonda

The next production of the Company was to be a very special one. 'Raymonda' is often described as a 'grand ballet'. The music is by Alexander Glazunov and the full version, which is not often performed, has three acts and runs for three hours with two intervals. Shortened versions are usually performed but in this case the Board of the Company had decided to stage the complete ballet and promote it as a rare opportunity for ballet lovers everywhere to see the full version. They hoped to draw an audience from all over the country and maybe even from overseas.

Dame Monique de Valois, our 'Prima Ballerina' would be dancing the title role, and I was very pleased to again be made understudy to Mariette de Chasseur who would be dancing the part of 'Henrietta', one of Raymonda's two special friends. Miss Higgins, the ballet mistress had told me that Mariette and I had rehearsed and danced so well in the role of 'Carabosse' in 'The Sleeping Beauty', that she though we would were well-suited to dance as 'Henrietta', with the promise that I would get a chance to perform in previews and matinees, especially because the performances were too long to expect a principal to dance twice in one day. This meant even more performances for me, so I was thrilled to hear that. Jack was to be understudy for the rôle of Jean de Brienne, one of the male leads.

A couple of weeks later we began rehearsing. The original choreography was by Marius Pepita, the legendary ballet master of the Imperial Ballet, now the Mariinsky Ballet in St Petersberg, Russia, but our choreographer, Kenneth Bourne, was using the choreography of Konstantin Sergeyev for the 1948 Kirov Ballet revival, as the basis for his interpretation.

Everything went well for the first couple of weeks, and then one morning, Mariette arrived a little late for rehearsals, which was not like her, and in my opinion she didn't look well. This was borne out when ten minutes into the rehearsal, she excused herself and ran from the rehearsal room to the ladies' rest room. She returned about ten minutes later, still a bit 'green around the gills'.

“I'm sorry, it must have been something I ate,” she said, but she managed the rest of the morning rehearsal. I noticed that Kenneth.took her aside and I was fairly sure she was being advised to go and see a doctor.

The following morning when I arrived for rehearsal, Mariette was not there, and instead, Kenneth the choreographer said that I must come with him to see Miss Higgins in her office. I wondered what was up, but followed him. Miss Higgins welcomed me with a smile and asked me to take a seat.

“I have some news for you, Antonette,” she said. 'As you know, Mariette was not well yesterday, and upon seeing a doctor the cause was diagnosed; she is going to have a baby.”

“Oh!” I gasped. I confess, that had never occurred to me.

“Oh indeed,” said Miss Higgins. “I need hardly say that she is now ruled out of playing the part of Henrietta, so Ken and I have had a discussion with Jonathon Marsh, our Artistic Director, and the result is that we have decided to offer the role of Henrietta to you.”

I was so stunned I couldn't think of anything to say for some seconds. Finally I came out with “Thank you very much.”

Kenneth said:” I've had the pleasure of working with you and you are an excellent dancer; I'm sure you will perform the rôle very well.”

“There's something else,” said Miss Higgins. “In the circumstances you are being promoted to Acting Principal Dancer.”

I'm glad I was sitting down, or I might have fallen down. “Oh Miss Higgins, I never ever expected something like this,” I gasped, and it was true, the highest level I ever expected to reach was Soloist.

She smiled: “Now off you go and get rehearsing again. Oh, one more thing; now you need an understudy of course, so we have selected Lucie Manet, and she's thrilled to be chosen.”

Kenneth and I returned to the rehearsal room and there was Lucie waiting for us.

“Lucie, Antonette is taking over the part of Henrietta, now that Mariette is expecting a baby, so you two will be working together,” said Kenneth.

“I will be honoured to work with you both,' said Lucie solemnly. She had chosen her words carefully. It would not have been good to imply that she preferred me over Mariette.

During the lunch break, I rang Mariette and told her I had been given the part.

“While I'm thrilled to be doing it, I'm sorry it's come at the expense of you having to step back,” I said.

“It's kind of you to say so,” she replied. “I did put in the suggestion that you be given the part and I'm glad that's what they decided. Now don't go getting pregnant too or you won't be popular.”

“I'll be very careful,” I replied. She didn't know that there wasn't the slightest chance of that happening, though I must admit thinking about it caused me a slight pang.

Jack wasn't present that day. A couple of days previously, while rehearsing, he had landed awkwardly from a jump and sprained his ankle. The Company physiotherapist had checked him out and recommended three days rest and some gentle exercises. Rather than ring him with the news, I thought I would wait until I arrived home.

Arriving at our flat, I was happy to open the front door and smell tea cooking. It wasn't complicated – steak and chips, even a man can handle that! After we exchanged our usual greeting kiss, Jack asked how things had gone that day, so I told him my news.

“Well, we should open a bottle of champagne if we had one,” he said. “I feel sorry for Mariette but at least they don't have to worry about you becoming pregnant.”

It was as much a surprise to me as it was to him when I burst into tears at that remark.

“Darling, what's wrong? What did I say?” said Jack rushing to me and taking me in his arms. Of course he thought he had merely pointed out a fact.

“I'm sorry,” I gasped between sobs. “It's just that I would love to have a baby, but it's never going to happen. I'll never be a mother, so never a complete woman!”

Jack hugged me to him, realising now that he had touched a raw nerve.

“I'm sorry ,darling. That was such a stupid insensitive remark. As far as I am concerned you are a complete woman,” he said softly as he stroked my hair. It was at that moment that he smelled burning and had to rush to rescue the steak. I went to our bedroom to change and repair my makeup. When I came out again, Jack looked at me cautiously, afraid I was going to cry again. Men hate it when women cry, so I really try not to.

“I'm alright now, Jack,” I assured him. “I've had time to think about it now. After all, some cis-women can't have children and that doesn't make them any less than a complete women. As far as Mariette is concerned, I don't know if this pregnancy was an accident, or something that in her heart she wanted to happen. It certainly means she's going to have to take a year off at least from dancing, so it won't do her career any good. She might even retire, but I guess you can't have your cake and eat it.”

Jack murmured “I guess so” in agreement. I think he was too afraid to say much in case he put his foot in it again.

That night I lay awake for hours while Jack slept beside me. About three in the morning, I was just starting to doze when he stirred and said quietly “Antonette, are you awake?”

“No,” I said quietly back.

“Alright,” said Jack and settled down to sleep again. After about a minute, he said “I guess I asked for that.” When I didn't say anything else, he went on “I've been thinking, perhaps we could adopt a child later, when we have finished full-time dancing? After all, we'll still be quite young.”

I turned to face him. “Yes, let's keep that in mind. I don't know if there are any obstacles in the way because of me being trans, but it will certainly be worth investigating.” Then I kissed him and this time we both went to sleep.

The following morning I went to rehearsals again. Jack's ankle was still sore so he rang in and spoke to the physiotherapist and it was agreed that he should take another couple of days off. Lucie and I continued rehearsing together and we got on very well.

Perhaps I should give you a very bried resumé of the story:

Raymonda, a young noble woman is celebrating her birthday, and is betrothed to Jean de Brienne who has just returned from a crusade. However a Saracen knght Abderakhman arrives unannounced,and requests hospitality for an overnight stay. He is entranced with Raymonda and like Jean, gives her gifts. There is obvious tension between the two men. After the guests leave, Raymonda retires to sleep.

The following morning, Raymonda awakens with her gifts from both men in her hands. Jean de Brienne and Abderakhman are still vying for the hand of Raymonda. When she chooses Jean, Abderakhman challenges him to a duel. Jean vanquishes Abderakhman, and Raymonda and Jean de Brienne are then married to the joy and approval of all.

There's a lot more to the story of course and you can search for it online if you wish.

Raymonda was to be played by Dame Monique du Valois, the Prima Ballerina of the Company, Clémence, her other friend was to be played by Charlotte Tomas. Charlotte was another soloist, with gorgeous auburn hair and striking emerald green eyes. Like Lucie she was very pretty and I predicted that she would grow into a beautiful mature woman. I rather suspected that all eyes would be on her when we were onstage together.

Jean de Brienne was played by Alfredo Ashton (with Jack as his understudy), and Abderakhman by Antoine de Vaux. As an Acting Principal I had now been elevated into the rarified atmosphere of this group of excellent dancers, and I felt almost a fraud appearing with them, but I was determined to do my best. I hoped that Jack would not feel jealous that I had been elevated, albeit temporarily, to a higher level than him. He would be performing the part of Jean during some of the previews and matinées, so there was a chance we would be dancing together.

In the first scene, Charlotte and I appeared almost as soon as the curtain rose, strewing flowers on the stage for Raymonda to pick up, so now we had a number of rehearsals for the first scene, together with our understudies.

Some of the scenes involved almost a 'pas de trois' with Dame Monique, Charlotte and me and dancing so closely with one of Britain's most famous ballerinas was an absolute thrill, even more so when she complimented Charlotte and me on our dancing. I did send my friend Harriet a note telling her about my elevation in the ballet and my rôle in 'Raymonda' and she sent a reply saying that she would do her best to attend a performance. She was still very busy in Stratford, being now one of her company's top actors, but I hoped she would be able to make the trip down to London.

Jack had finally passed the physiotheraptist's approval to resume dancing and that made me happy. Even when we were not actually dancing together, I still liked to think that he was nearby. Don't let anyone tell you that ballet dancing is easy, it's very hard work to make it look easy.

I haven't mentioned Kate and Ben for a while but we did see them every fortnight or so, alternating our flats for a cooked meal. Before Kate moved in with Ben, he usually bought in something to eat, but Kate was a good cook, so now he was enjoying some home-cooked meals. We all got on well and chatted about all manner of subjects, but we never mentioned Bruce.

Women are often more comfortable sharing confidences when their menfolk aren't present, so taking advantage of a moment when we were alone, Kate asked if we could arrange to meet for coffee one day and as soon as we sat down she began to talk about Bruce. It seems she had finally decided to 'take the bull by the horns' and ring him.

“The first thing he said to me was 'When are you coming home?', so I decided to approach the subject without making accusations,” said Kate. “I started it by saying that I'd had time to think while I'd been away and that I didn't think we were really suited; in fact I thought it might be better if we divorced and both had the chance to find someone who would suit us better.”

“'So you're not coming back?', he said, and I said 'No Bruce, I'm not coming back. I'd only be unhappy and then you would be unhappy.. It's not your fault, it's just how things are'. Of course in my view it was his fault, but it wasn't worth having a row on the phone about it.”

He changed the subject then, saying 'I heard you were back in England. Did your folks give you the money for the fare?' I replied 'No Bruce, some friends lent me the money.and I'm going to pay them back.' Then I had a thought and said 'Bruce, if you ever cared for me, would you drop off the rest of my clothes and other belongings to my parents to send to me?' He sort of grunted at that, so I don't know if he will or not, maybe he will, or maybe he'll burn them,.but there's nothing I can do about that.”

“How did he know you are in England?” I asked.

“I suppose the hospital must have told him. If you remember I told them I had to visit a mythical sick aunty here. I'm glad he didn't fly over here and try to track me down. I have contacted the hospital and tendered my resignation, explaining that I had to stay in England indefinitely, so at least they are not left wondering what happened to me. Sometimes I can't help thinking that I should have stayed here during my first trip back, and married Ben if he'd asked me, but I guess we all make mistakes.”

“Has he asked you to marry him now?” I couldn't help asking.

“No he hasn't but then I'm still married to Bruce at present until I can get a divorce. Maybe he will when that comes through.”

I had no doubt of it, but I didn't say so. I should mention that Kate was still paying back the money we lent her for the air fare. We told her there was no hurry, but she insisted that she must honour her obligation to return the loan. I was now earning more as an acting Principal Dancer and Jack was a soloist, so we were comfortably off, and could have told her to keep the money, but I think she wouldn't have felt comfortable with that.

Finally, the time of rehearsals was over and the preview performances approached. As usual, I had let Miss Nightingale of Marion Ladies' College know about my latest rôle, only because she insisted that I did, and I knew that as usual, she would be organinsg a party of the senior girls to come and see an 'old girl' dance. She seemed to feel that it reflected well on the school that I had once been a pupil. One day when I made a return visit to the school to give the senior girls a talk, as a number of former pupils did, I happened to see in one corridor a series of photos of well-known 'old girls', and to my surprise , there was a picture of me!

We did have a couple of actual dress rehearsals before the preview performances, and it was always a thrill to me to hear the music played at last by an orchestra instead of the rehearsal pianos. Glazunov's music is sublime and for me at least, just hearing it as I danced seemed to add a little extra to my performance.

The final rehearsals went well, and then the previews began. I played 'Henrietta' for the first two previews and then Lucie did a performance while I played 'understudy'. This also meant that I could view the performance from the back of the stalls for one act and the back of the circle for the next two to see how the production looked from the audience's point of view. Harriet managed to come down from Stratford and see one of the afternoon previews in which Jack and I were dancing. We met up afterwards for coffee before Harriet had to take the train back to Stratford. It was very nice of her to take the trouble to come down to see us dance, and she was very complimentary about our performances.

“I hope you perform at Stratford again,” she said.

"We'd love to come to Stratford to see you perform," I replied. "But you know how difficult it is when we are all working full-time."

I did make up my mind to speak to Jack about it - perhaps we could do a quick trip to Stratford for a matinee performance one day.

The season proper started, and I'm sure the management was very pleased at the ticket sales with a number of 'full houses'. They had probably taken a chance with presenting the full ballet, but all the ballet lovers in the country seemed to respond to the rare opportunity.to see it

I should mention that royalty was present at one of the performances. I do sometimes wonder why really rich people see the show for free, but I suppose that's the way things are. All the principals were presented after the performance, and I was polite with a curtsey and a gentle handshake, saying “Thank you ma'am” in response to her “Most enjoyable” comment.

The critics were very flattering in their comments and I had a brief mention in one of the longer ones, as in 'Antonette du Pré and Charlotte Tomas as Raymonda's special friends were excellent in complementing the superb dancing of Dame Monique du Valois'. Another clipping to add to my scrapbook.

Mummy, Daddy, Jeanette, Celine, Justine and Kate all came along to watch me dance, which was good of them, although I think that only three of them really wanted to watch the ballet, and two of my sisters were there out of politeness. It was a pity that Jack was not dancing that evening. At supper afterwards, when Jack joined us after his 'understudy' duties, there were many compliments paid to me and I was blushing from ear to ear. Mummy, Jeanette and Kate all told me privately that they would love to see Jack dance the part of Jean de Brienne and I had an idea. I know that Jack would be performing at a matinée a couple of weeks later, while I would be 'understudy' while Lucie played my part. I consulted Miss Higgins and she consulted Johnathon Marsh, and it was agreed that I could sit in the stalls with my three guests so long as they knew exactly where I was and that I also carried a small vibrating pager so that in the unlikely event that I had to take over the part, I could do so at ten minutes' notice.

I then told Mummy, Jeanette and Kate what I proposed and when they confirmed that they could arrange to attend, I spoke to the box office and was fortunate in getting some very good returned tickets in the stalls. In the event, I was not called upon to take over the part, and it was very enjoyable for me to sit there as an audience member watching the performance as I had only seen brief excerpts of Jack performing the rôle and I must say that he did it very well. We had afternoon tea with him after the performance and this time he was the one to be loaded down with compliments which were very well deserved. Then we had tto return to the theatre for the evening performance where I would be dancing and he would be understudy once again.

To be continued.

Next time: Charlotte and Kal

Note: There are several excellent performances of the shortened version of 'Raymonda' on YouTube, including the Royal Danish Ballet at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEfkK4UsMNc and the Bolshoi Ballet at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-USarS-bPVA Both run for about two hours.There is another performance by the Bolshoi Ballet which runs for just under three hours, at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-Fdh4-rskE Presumably this is the complete ballet