Part 31 By Anistasia Allread Edited by Edeyn "Why do you hate me so much?" she asked the heavens, "You grant me just what I've always wanted, and just when I start getting used to it, you rip it away? Why?" |
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Erika stood next to her mother's car, looking at the doctor's office. The last time she had been here she had been snickering over Dr. Lipdick's name. Now, he wanted to see her. Was it pay back time? Was he going to take out on her all the years of teasing he had to endear over his name? What was wrong with her? What could possibly be wrong, other than she was in the body of a guy?
Erika's father's truck pulled up and parked next to the car.
"I had to reschedule my afternoon appointments, sorry it took so long to get here. What is this about?" Mr. Martin asked.
"Dr. Lipdick wouldn't say," Mrs. Martin shrugged, "He just asked that we come see him."
"What's wrong with me, Daddy?" Erika voice was bordering on a frightened whine.
"Where do I start?" her father cracked a smile.
Erika let the jest roll off her back. She had more important things to worry about right now.
"Come on in," Dr. Bob welcomed the family into his office.
Oh shit, Erika thought, Good news never comes when you are invited into "the office."
Dr. Bob and her father quickly introduced themselves and settled down into chairs.
"Thanks for coming on such short notice," Dr. Bob sat forward, "The results of the CAT scan and MRI show that Erika has a small tumor."
"Oh dear God!" her mother gasped.
"Where is this tumor?" her dad asked.
"It's pressing on the pituitary gland," Dr. Bob answered.
"A brain tumor?" Erika's mom asked.
Oh my God! I have a brain tumor! Erika's brain screamed.
"Am I going to die?" Erika asked, her voice seemed a thousand miles away.
The room went silent as everyone looked from one to the other.
"I don't believe you will die," Dr. Bob told her calmly, "It's too early to determine anything of that sort. The tumor looks to be encapsulated and is about the size of a small grape."
"Is that why I don't have testosterone?" Erika asked.
Dr. Bob nodded before replying, "The tumor is sitting between the hypothalamus and the pituitary gland. I believe that the tumor is obstructing the signals the hypothalamus is sending to the pituitary gland to release hormones."
"So it's the tumor that's blocking Eric from going through puberty?" Erika's mother inquired.
Dr. Bob nodded, “In most cases of this kind of tumor causes the opposite problem that Erika is experiencing. Most people with this kind of tumor suffer from a massive increace in hormone production resulting in giantism. There however have been a few documented cases where the tumor practically shuts off the hormone production.”
"So is this tumor operable?" her father asked.
"It is."
He reached behind himself and pulled a plastic head off from the shelf behind him. One half of the head was missing to illustrate the sinus cavity and brain.
"I spoke to the neurosurgeon this afternoon. He says that they can enter that part of the brain through the sinus cavity behind the nose. Basically they drill a hole in the back of your nose and probe into the base of the brain. They will cauterize it or more likely, try and excise it."
"Will he then start puberty?" Erika's mother asked.
"Once the tumor is removed, the signals from the hypothalamus should begin to trigger the pituitary gland into releasing testosterone, and then yes, puberty will take place. If it doesn't we can supplement the system with hormone treatments."
"Does that mean I have to go back to being Eric?" Erika asked.
"Your body will want to take on more masculine attributes, yes," was Dr. Bob's response.
"What if we leave the tumor in?" Erika asked.
"What are you saying?" Erika's mom asked, "Leave the tumor in?"
"If I decide to leave the tumor in, can I remain Erika?"
"That is a question only you can decide," Dr. Bob told her, "Even if we take the tumor out and you wish to remain Erika, I, along with Dr. Barts, can help you achieve that end."
"Doctor, do you think that this tumor could be causing Eric to have this Gender Identity issue?" her mother asked.
"I think that this tumor is only part of the equation," he said, "The lack of testosterone in Eric's system has kept him from developing normally, but," he held up his hand to ward off interruption, "Many genetic males who have testosterone coursing through their veins have Gender Identity Disorder."
"So it may be the tumor and it may only be partially the tumor," Erika's father summed up.
Dr. Bob nodded, "It goes back to that whole nurture or nature argument."
"We did not raise Eric to be a girl," Erika's mom protested.
"I didn't mean to infer that you did."
"My Uncle is Transgendered, could it be genetic?" Erika's father asked.
"To tell you the truth... we just don't know for sure."
"Why didn't they say anything when I had my CAT scan this last summer?" Erika asked.
"What CAT scan?" Erika's dad asked.
"I hit my head on a diving board and had to get stitches," Erika waved vaguely as she answered, "They did a CAT scan then."
"I've had a radiologist look over those scans as well," Dr. Bob explained, "They were looking for hematomas and skull fractures, not brain tumors. It was done in an E.R. setting with no indication that there might be a tumor."
He tried to explain why it was missed.
"CAT scans also don't show the brain as well as MRIs do and it wasn't very visible. The radiologist who looked over the films said that with the quality of the scan, he'd say that the tumor hasn't grown or changed much in the past few months."
"So it's not spreading or growing then?" Mr. Martin verified.
"No. If it is growing it is doing so very slowly. You may have had this for a few years and not even known it," Dr Bob looked at Erika.
"So when do we schedule to have this removed?" Erika's mom asked.
"If it's not growing, or doing anything to me, I don't think I want to have it removed," Erika stated firmly.
"How can you say that? You have a tumor in your brain!" Erika's mother sputtered.
"If it's not doing anything to me, then why should I have it removed?" Erika asked.
"So that you can go on living a happy normal life," her mother answered exasperatedly.
"For the first time in years, I am happy, and living a normal life," Erika countered.
"You're trying to be a girl, Eric."
"You two need to hold this for some other time." Mr. Martin cut in, giving his wife a stern look. He looked back to Dr. Bob, "What are all of our options?"
"Surgery is the best option at this point." He stated. "You could opt for localized radiation treatments. It's less invasive."
"Chemo?" Erika's father cringed.
"Chemotherapy would be overkill at this point," Dr. Bob shook his head, "If the tumor starts to grow at an alarming rate or travels, then chemotherapy following surgery would be an option."
Erika as well as her mother and father all breathed a sigh of relief.
"I will want to have you get an MRI again next week, and then perhaps a couple of weeks after that to see if it is progressing at all," Dr. Bob told them.
"What if we opt for surgery?" Mrs. Martin asked.
"Then we'll need to schedule you with an appointment with Dr. Boasso. He'll want current MRIs as well. If you decide to go ahead with that route, then you could schedule surgery within the next four weeks."
"Dr. Bob?" Erika asked, "What would you do if it was you?"
"I can't answer that," Dr. Bob's lips tightened, "This is a question for you and your family to decide upon."
Erika nodded. Her mind was a whirl. She had a brain tumor. She had a tumor that could be causing her to want to be a girl, but that wasn't necessarily true. Dr. Bob said that there were normal guys out there, with testosterone pumping through their veins who wanted to be girls. Could this tumor be causing this whole thing? What if she had the tumor removed and she had to go back to being Eric? Would her parents let her switch schools? Or better yet, move to a different state so that no one could recognize him? What if the tumor got bigger? What if she had no choice but to have it removed? Could she just let it be? Could she really lead a somewhat normal life, knowing that she had a grape-sized growth in her brain?
Erika wanted to scream. The rest of the meeting was a blur. Options were put out on both sides, but she was in too much inner turmoil to pay attention.
She vaguely remembered following her parents out of the office and into the parking lot. She followed her dad to his truck.
"Ride home with me," her mother directed, "I want to talk to you."
"I'm too messed up right now. I want to ride home with Dad," Erika muttered.
Her mother huffed and slammed the door of the car before driving off.
Erika, on auto-pilot, buckled her seatbelt and stared out the window.
"I've got a brain tumor?" she mumbled.
Her father looked at her with worry and love, "It'll be alright, honey."
Erika just stared out the window. A brain tumor.
Erika followed her father into the house.
"We need to talk about this," her mother stood in the foyer with hands on her hips.
"Not now, honey," Erika's father told her.
"Our son has a brain tumor causing dysfunctional behavior. We need to talk about this... NOW." she demanded.
"Our daughter has just found out that she has a tumor. She is in shock and freaking out. Let her grasp the concept of this first," her father ordered, very nearly angrily.
He turned to Erika, "Go on upstairs and take a shower."
Erika nodded and gladly retreated from the war zone. As she climbed the stairs she heard her parents' arguing drifting on the other end of the house. She shut the door behind her and sat on the end of her bed, staring off into space.
A brain tumor. Didn't just old people get tumors? How could she finally get accepted by her peers, make friends and start to be happy only to find out that she had a brain tumor?
"Why do you hate me so much?" she asked the heavens, "You grant me just what I've always wanted, and just when I start getting used to it, you rip it away? Why?"
She found herself twirling a finger through the ends of her hair, the shiny finish from the longer nails caught her eye. With a heavy sigh, she pushed herself up and stepped into a shower to wash away the sweat away.
Erika lifted her fingers to her head and began to feel it, as if feeling for something odd, something that wasn't supposed to be there. As if, somehow, she could actually feel the grape-sized lump.
Erika bellowed in frustration and dried off. She worked a towel through her hair, slipped into her nightgown and flopped on her bed.
"What am I supposed to be?" she asked her ceiling, "Do I get the tumor removed and go back to being Eric? I'd go through normal puberty and end up some hairy, nerdy guy. Or do I keep it and live the rest of a short life as a girl?
Her phone sounded. She ignored it at first but decided she needed a distraction.
"Hello?"
"Erika, are you all right?" Samantha's voice asked, "What happened?"
"I had to go see the doctor."
"I thought you spent the day at the doctor's."
"It sure felt like it."
"And?" Samantha asked.
"He says I have a brain tumor," Erika winced as she said the words aloud.
Silence fell over the phone.
After a moment, "You have a what?" Samantha asked for clarification, disbelieving she'd heard correctly.
"The doctor says I have a brain tumor."
"Oh my God..." Samantha's voice was distant, her tone filled with shock, "How bad is it?"
"They want me to go have surgery to remove it," Erika explained.
"Well, duh," Samantha agreed, "When do you think they will do it?"
"I'm not sure if I want them to."
"What? You can't be serious," Samantha sounded worried.
Erika explained what had been told to her just that afternoon.
"Shit," Samantha swore.
"Are you okay? I mean you can still go to school, and cheer and stuff, can't you?"
"As far as I know."
"Does it hurt?"
"No. The doctor said that I might not have even noticed for a couple more years."
"So are you still going to Homecoming?"
"I think so. I don't see why I couldn't."
"Erika, I don't want you to die!" Samantha blurted out, "I'd rather you be my guy friend and live then be a girlfriend and die."
It was Erika's turn to be silent.
"Have you told Tricia yet?"
"No. I just got home and took a shower. You're the first."
"I'm so sorry, Erika," Samantha snuffed.
"Me too," Erika muttered.
"Call, Tricia. I'll see you at school tomorrow, right?"
"I think so."
"Okay, call me if you need anything," Samantha offered
"I will."
Erika ended the call and lay in bed. She felt drained, tired. She picked up her phone again and called Tricia.
Tricia, like Samantha was in shock. By the end of the conversation, both girls were crying.
"I'm coming over," Tricia told her.
"It's kind of late."
"My best friend, who is also my girlfriend, is having an actual life-and-death crisis. I'm coming over," she repeated firmly.
"My parents are arguing downstairs. It's not the best time," Erika explained.
"Then maybe my presence will make them behave a little more civil to one another. Do you need anything?" she asked.
"Just a hug."
"See you in a tick."
Erika slipped some socks onto her manicured toes and padded half way down the stairs.
"I just got off the phone with Tricia," she called out over her parents' harsh, yet quiet tones, "She's coming over to give me some company."
"This isn't really a good time," Erika's mother growled.
"I told her that, but she's coming anyway," Erika turned on the stairs and went back into her room.
Erika was staring at herself in the mirror when her door opened. Tricia dropped her purse on Erika's bed and marched across the room with her arms open. Erika was enveloped in a tight embrace.
"I love you, Erika," Tricia cried.
Erika buried her teary face into Tricia's soft blond curls, "Thank you."
"What for?" Tricia asked.
"For everything... For loving me."
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Comments
Now you've got me all teary!
Now you've got me all teary! Excellent chapter Anistasia!
Erika's mother is using this as an excuse to get Eric back, and I think she's being extremely selfish and hurtful in the process. I can kinda almost maybe understand it, but it's not helping at all, to say the least! I hope her Dad can straighten her out!
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
Well, it made me laugh
almost
Having a tumor isn't the end of the world, I see why you would be upset, but I often find that the atmosphere changes to something evil when you tell people about such news. Feeling bad, being depressed is certainly not helping. And the way the people around you act doesn't always help.
To tell a story, my farther had a cancer few years ago. The first day he went to see a doctor, the doctor really scared him off. He was told the usual thing people are told when they got cancer. He saw that the mood he was in was unhealthy and decided not to follow the standard procedure. Well, he is himself a doctor, so it might have helped him.
He then started to take care of himself, work a little less, take time for himself, and that was the best therapy. And now, he is completely healed. I recall that he should have been dead.
With that I really took notice on how important is to take care of yourself, listen to your body, and don't listen to people who can freak you out. If people start asking you how you feel in a concerned voice, I suppose it really makes you feel as if you should be having a hard time (even if that's not the intention of the person asking). And in the end, your body get the message and really start to feel bad.
So, don't be too dramatic about it.
And I thought that tumor was a blessing of God, I was surprised to hear Eroka didn't think that way.
:)
Mildred
I agree...
And, this tumor is likely to have been around a while - considering how "late" Erica's puberty is. It's a mixed blessing. If we assume that Erica IS TG, then the tumor has postponed the WRONG puberty, and can be removed and the right one started. On the other hand, if Eric is NOT TG, then, removal will start that puberty. She actually has a choice many do not have.
Next, if the tumor is in fact NOT growing at a noticeable rate, Erica has some time to decide.
Being diagnosed with an incurable and guaranteed fatal disease is NOT the end of the world, though it certainly feels like it at the time. Some of these diseases are REALLY slow, and you're more likely to die from something else LONG before they kill you. As you indicated, they can "focus" your attention though...
I hope Erica's mom can come to terms with what is happening to her family. Her inability to recognize that GID CAN happen, and that her child may well be transgendered is literally tearing them apart. This does happen, I understand. (Tearing families up.)
If we look at Eric(a)'s personality, we see someone that is very accepting of others. This person learned it from someone, and since it's apparent that Dad was NOT around / helping much with her upbringing, we have to assume that the Mom started things going this way - at an early age. (Okay, we don't HAVE to, but, it makes sense to me... Based on what I'm seeing in my family.)
I do wonder how you'll wrap things up. Thanks for continuing this story for us. I look forward to seeing how they end.
Annette
WOW!! That was some chapter Ani
Like Salees i was finding it difficult to read because of my wet eyes,
This is a fight that Erika and her dad must win if Ericka is to remain as a girl, Maybe mom wants her son back, But surely what Erika wants is paramount in any decision that is made!
Yet another good chapter Ani, The only sad thing as far as i'm concerned is that it's one step closer to the end, Still i suppose all good things must come to an end sooner or later (sigh!!).
Hugs Kirri
If The Studies In The Netherlands Are Any Indication
If the studies in the Netherlands are any indication, the surgeons would find that Erika's Hypothalamus is the same size as a genetic female and removing the tumor won't change her Gender Identity. The doctor may be right about her developing male characteristics, but it still won't change her core identity as a girl. Her mother is grasping at any straw she can find and her own selfish desires are being put in front of what is best for her child. It makes me wonder what hangups she has about her child identifying as a girl? I think that it is time she laid her cards out on the table and explain exactly why she is being so hardheaded about this. Her child's happiness should be her number one concern. Another interesting chapter AA.
Just in case...
Just in case it hasn't been mentioned recently, I'm glad you continued this story past its original end point at the end of summer camp. It's a great story and continues to develop with each new episode (even if it has everyone in tears, or maybe especially because...). I'm looking forward to more wonderful episodes.
Kristin Darken
great plot twist
Hi AA,
great twist, with for me a personal connection.
14 years ago, an older brother at age 42 had a golf ball sized tumor removed from his pituitary gland, it had apparently been then since shortly after puberty started and never diagnosed, he still developed as a guy, but was sort of stalled developmentally in that he could never grow a full beard and was very passive personality wise and numerous other things that were obvious with hindsight.
post surgery he has had to have regular testosterone shots, and he once commented on how crazy he felt for several days after his fortnightly injection, my reply was that he could now understand how i had felt every day from start of puberty till commencing hormone therapy.
great story keep up the awesome work *hugs*
Erika's Condition
So that's it! It sure does leave some difficult choices ahead.
I hope Erika's mother can be reasoned with. She's being quite irrational but there's still time. It's possible that she'll see what's best for her daughter and accept it, maybe even learn to appreciate it ... someday.
I like that Tricia came over. That was a nice touch.
I've only one thing left I guess. Please! Please let Erika get to the homecoming game and be a princess. Okay? Oh. Wait. The title of this story is significant I think. I'll settle down now. Heh.
Thanks for this emotional chapter. Please keep up the good work.
- Terry
If the mother Doesn't change Her ways -- DIVORCE!
Might be the safest option for Erika at the moment. Go and live with her Father. The mother is too vindictive , too hurtful, selfish and set in her ways to change. A divorce now would end the conflict and Put Erika in a safer household with her father.
I absolutely hate the mother and am eager to see her leave the storyline to a minor blurb.
Sephrena Lynn Miller
BigCloset TopShelf
TGLibrary.com
disagree at the moment
Even if the mother is not agreeable to Erikas' changes that is not a reason for divorce. It may drive a wedge between herself and her husband but the fact that for whatever reason she is not, at the moment, accepting of her son wanting to be a girl does not provide a reason for divorce.
Thought provoking
Nice chapter Anistasia,
Erika has a lot to think about and so has her mother who seems to have issues to say the least!
Hugs
Sue
Dilemma
Very well-executed, A.A. It seems to me that the easy answer almost everyone is seeing here (i.e., off with Mom's head) isn't really justified.
"So it may be the tumor and it may only be partially the tumor," Erika's father summed up. If Mom's hearing that or reaching that same conclusion about the doctor's explanation, it seems to me that she has every right to feel that Eric's mind is impaired and her child is unable to make a valid decision at this time. (I'm not sure that the doctor actually said that, since he was clear that people without hormonal imbalances also can experience GID. But both Erika's parents think he did.)
Yes, Mom has emotional issues over the whole thing. That in itself doesn't invalidate her contention.
Erika does have the right, IMO, to make the decision before male puberty complicates it -- whether her mother agrees with that or not. And at this point I doubt that there's any question which way the decision would go, though I wouldn't guarantee that it'd be for the "right" reasons. But I think she needs to get the tumor removed (or controlled by radiation, I suppose, if she thinks surgery is too invasive) in order for everyone involved in the process to be satisfied that this is being done right.
Eric
Re: Radiation
If the tumor is sitting right against the pituitary, I'm going to guess that in real life, they'd need some pretty serious justification for radiation therapy. The pituitary isn't something you want to casually risk destroying, and it's pretty tiny, so hard to target around. However, in cases like this, medical opinion is pretty imprecise, and any three doctors might have four opinions on the subject. Anistasia has kept things remarkably believable, despite her admonitions to us to try to suspend disbelief regarding the medical stuff. We're now in an area where even the wrong answers happen all the time in real life!
On the issue of Erika's "right" to make a decision... Technically, I don't thing she has one. As a minor child, her "informed consent" is neither necessary nor binding. Her parents are the one who will legally make the decision. If she wants A and her parents decide B, B is what she gets (unless she were to successfully sue for emancipated minor status, something not even possible in some states, and even where it is, probably requiring a burden of proof she couldn't muster.) OTOH, American medicine being the litigious area that it is, most surgeons would probably have the sense not to proceed unless she also agreed, or they could prove her life was in danger. After all, at age 18, she could sue them.
Erika's Mother Does NOT Give A Damn
About what Eric went through! If she has her way, she will lose her child and husband.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Eric's Problem
RAMI
I am sure that I am again taking the contra position, but perhaps Eric's not Erika's problem has been diagnosed. Eric/a (need to go back to that)has only wished to be a girl, since the summer, when he had a fun time and was accepted by those around her. (Yes I am mixing pronouns, because Eric/a is has two personalities). S/he fell in love with acting as a girl because the normal pressures s/he felt as Eric were no longer bearing down on her. The desire to be a girl and dress as one is new and not something Eric/a has felt since s/he was a young child. From what we have been told, he never even experimented with his mother's clothes.
From the story so far, told primarily from Eric/a's viewpoint we do not truly know, when Eric became "The Plague". Has he been that way since he started school, or did this develop as he got older and started High School? As I previously argued many chapters ago, Eric, has never had a chance to be accepted as Eric, a normal male. Perhaps, if he has the surgery or other treatment, and his tester one levels increase and he develops normally, he will have the opportunity to truly determine if being Erika is better then being Eric.
The alternative that many here seem to be advocating, is to not have the surgery, continue to live as Erika, perhaps very happily, but face the danger that the tumor presents, which could include, it spreading to other areas, and perhaps an early and painful death.
The tumor should be treated without delay. Then the question of gender identity should be addressed separately. As for Mom, this situation is as stressful for her as the rest of the family. She may be acting harshly, but what do you expect when you hear that a child has cancer. Many families fall apart when dealing with such situations, even without the gender question being part of the equation. I am surprised that someone would think Erika would be better off in a divorced family, then in a united family, trying to cope with several problems facing their child.
Of course Anistasia has presented us with another great chapter. I was getting worried when, this chapter did not appear at its normal time.
RAMI
RAMI
Right between both eyes!
This chapter just hits you right between the eyes.
One of the pranks played on Eric over the years must have been a cosmic kick me sign.
While Erika has been rather fortunate in the way that people (other then Mom) have reacted to her over the course of this story, she certainly has not had an easy life.
There is much to worry about, and nothing like this is ever trivial, but the tumor is operable (hopefully it is not malignant!) and she can be treated.
I have to say that like Eric said above, the calls for Mom's head are over the top as well. I don't hate Erika's Mom, she has issues, and all, but despite what you might think it is clear to me that she does love her child.
There is so much going on in this household right now. Mom is irrational, but so is Erika in a different way. Dad needs to be the voice of reason for both sides. The option to not have the tumor removed is not a viable option. Mom is right about that, and hearing her child say that she doesn't want it be removed because it might "cure" her of wanting to be Erika is going to set her off. Her reaction may be over the top a little, but frankly, it is not a surprise, nor is it that far wrong.
Dad needs to calm Mom down, and then needs to be firm with Erika that this needs to be treated. There are other, safer ways to prevent the unwanted changes of male puberty, if that is the right answer. That decision, Eric/Erika does not need to be made now, and should not be made now.
Once again, this family is desperately in need of counseling, and it is a good thing they have someone good to go to, they should be doing so as soon as possible.
Tricia and Samantha once again both show that they are good friends. Samantha telling Erika she would rather he live as a boy then die as a girl is very important, and Tricia's insistance of coming over, despite all warnings of the powder keg going on at the Martin's house, is also huge to Erika's fragile self esteem.
A.A. thanks for another great chapter.
Hugs,
Kristy
Don't worry, Erika
Erika, in this scene:
You're talking to the wrong entity. It isn't the heavens that's doing this to you, it's Anistasia Allred. But I'm pretty sure she doesn't hate you, so take heart.
And the answer to your question is because it makes for a very compelling story.
Erika'c Mother
and my Father would make a great team, way more concerned with what the neighbors might think than the health and well-being of their own flesh and blood. Fortunately my father is dead now so that is a non-issue but her mother is not going away until there is some crisis maybe she will see what a jewel she has under her nose. At no point has she acknowledged what a potentially life threatening miserable life her son had been leading up until going to camp.
It's Not the Neighbors...
...I don't think. Mom's mostly concerned about herself; the only reason she'd care about what the neighbors think is the implication that she was at fault -- look how she snapped back at the doctor when he suggested that there was a nature/nurture question here. (And I think the only "neighbors" she'd really worry about are her husband's transphobic relatives; she probably expects them to blame her for everything.)
The bottom line is that she thinks that this is happening because she failed Eric somehow, and then compounded the problem by not nipping it in the bud at camp. Until she reconciles herself to the situation -- which can't begin to happen until this tumor is taken care of -- she's not going to be able to move on and accept Erika on her terms.
That's my take, anyway.
Eric
From Mom's point of view,
"Eric" is mentally ill, and now she has a medical basis for that, despite what the doctor said about GID. And, it's CURABLE!! The doctor SAID SO!!
Remember that Mom came from a heavily male dominated background, and her "son", prior to camp, was a docile, polite and smart "boy" who seemed destined to grow into a man that Mom could possibly, if not dominate, at least influence heavily. From her point of view this would satisfy a deep need, I think. I pointed out several chapters back that her own household has proven to not be this way, but she has slipped the family into that mode anyway.
Erika changed all that, as she seems to be a pretty normal girl, other than her biological differences. Having a strong influence and being heavily involved in the life of your daughter is vastly different from doing the same with a son. Mom desperately wants her "son" back, and as flimsy as the medical connection may be, she's using the medical diagnosis to try to short circuit Erika's development, before the foundation sets. She figures that if she can jumpstart her puberty, "he" will return, especially if medical treatments preventing that can themselves be prevented.
Having been raised in the environment she experienced, her behavior towards the rest of the family is perfectly aligned. In families where there is a strong male domination, when the females want or need something badly, throwing a fit is the surest way to a)get everyone's attention, b)make everyone realize it's important to her, and c)ultimately get her way. I don't think Mom even realizes she's doing it half the time.
I don't think Mom is evil. She just can't get her mind around the fact that her "son" is really a girl, so she wants her child "fixed".
It sure isn't helping Erika right now, but then, crises usually tend to magnify problems in any family unit. Hooray for Dad though, for trying to steer the ship back to calmer waters.
Great chapter, Anistasia. This story is like driving fast on a mountain road. Every time there's a curve, there's a potential for excitement! :-)
Dammit though, I just used my last tissue...
Hugs
Carla Ann
I have not liked Erika's mom
for many chapters, and I'm not liking her any better as it goes on. It's not because she has a different opinion than Erika or Mr. Martin, or because she doesn't just immediately go along with Erica's wishes, take her shopping for clothes, share girlish giggles, etc. It's because she makes snide, catty insults and remarks about Erika, to Erika with no regard for Erika's feelings. She doesn't politely suggest something to Erika or Mr. Martin, she DEMANDS it. She doesn't walk away, she HUFFS OFF. She doesn't just say something, she GROWLS it. It's her self-centered bullheadedness and snide, snotty attitude and manner that gets my panties in a bunch. Not that she has another opinion or can't understand Erica. It's her attitude. Great chapter once again, thank you! :)
The exploits and issues of Erika.
Dear AA,
I first want to thank you publicly for the most recent posting of what I consider one of the ABSOLUTE BEST stories that I know of. Your story is well researched, well written, and as many have said, mind boggling. It would appear that, with over 500 reads, 70 votes and 15 comments within the first ten hours after posting, I was not the only one anxiously awaiting more of "the exploits and issues of Erika".
I am certain that Mom's opposition is a plot device, and will be further developed as the plot continues to thicken. I hope that Dad's Uncle is also brought more into the story line. But you do what your Muse leads to write.
Please continue your excellent work. You DO have a following! Thank You!
Avid Reader
Wow!
Great episode. I was more than a little concerned (that something had happened to you) when you didn't post this next chapter on Monday or Tuesday. While I think most (probably almost all) of us want Erika to stay around (including me), I can see how a very satisfactory story could be completed with Eric returning after surgery given that she's really a non-traditional TG. I guess we'll see what you do.
Mom reacted pretty much like I would have expected (maybe a bit strong), but dad just gets better and better as the voice of reason and understanding. The conflict obviously adds to the story judging by readers reactions.
um?
Elective surgery; I guess some areas of medicine are just routine, but I don't..... to do this around the human brain.
We Shouldn't Villify Erica's Mom
Yes, Erica's mom's motives aren't pure, but she does have some of Erica's interests at heart. She's at least slightly misogynist in the 2nd wave feminist sense of, "All women share in being oppressed; why would you want to be one?" Perpetually blending is a myth, especially in a modern bureaucratic, computerized society.
We shouldn't forget that there is a difference between bigoted love and bigoted hate. Erica's mom isn't hateful per se. It's more along the lines of, "of course freaks will be attacked; don't be a freak." Just like really religious relatives want me to go to church every Sunday so I won't burn in Hell.
Brilliant!
Brilliantly handled! The medical stuff all sounds believable enough. The mother has reverted to kicking, screaming and bullying form. The father is holding true to his loving and accepting self. And, Erika's dilemma regarding dealing with the medical problem is a terrific plot device as well as a moral quandary. Great stuff for thought, and great fuel for whatever is to follow!
Just, wow! Wonderful bit of writing and plot development!
A Stunning Plot Twist
However, all is not lost. Erika still firmly wants to be Erika. It is unfortunate she is in a kinda Lady or the Tiger scenario however she chooses. A male puberty can be disastrous, it is very difficult to overcome that as we all know. However there is still the option of T-Blockers and anti-lutinizing hormone stuff. I think ultimately she will get the surgery but the aforementioned items should be administered BEFORE the surgery so it will act as a surrogate for what the tumor is doing now.
Ultimately it will be the mother who will push for Erika to 'try' and let puberty work before making a trans-decision but that is BS as we all know. I had a feminine image of myself well before puberty, I just was too stupid to understand what puberty would do to me. I am lucky enough to have mitigated a lot of the damage T has done to me, but not all. I am still experiencing hair loss and it is bugging the hell out of me.
The real story here will be whether Erika will have a united family to come home to. *sigh*.
Kim
But that wasn't Eric's image
RAMI
Kimmie, as you say you had a feminine image of your self, before puberty and probably when you were much younger then that. Eric never had a feminine image of himself until he went to summer camp and had a good time because he did not have the pressure on him to act as a male. Eric as Erika has not faced any substantial pressure in his girl persona. Basically, it has all been a good time. Once he has to face the reality, that being a girl is not all fun and games, will he fall into the same situation he did as Eric. Eric/a needs to decide very quickly if his being Erika is actually a crutch for his failure as Eric and not a cure for the problem.
RAMI
RAMI
And that is what this new story direction is all about
There are people who are on your side of the fence who feel that Eric is not transgendered even though Erika is self identified as such. Now there is a choice and a potential 'Solution'. If Erika chooses to continue as she is despite the fact she does not have the out of not having control over having a puberty but still wants to continue as Erika, do you think your side of the fence will finally give up the argument ?
Also, I well know being female has its ups and downs and I did not do it because it was easier. However, to what degree does Erika has to experience setbacks and despite them still opt to be Erika before you are satisfied ?
Kim
Hmm
Sounds like she still has a problem with her mindset mew. It doesn't matter if a girl puts on boy clothes, she doesn't become a girl, or vice versa mew. It matters about who you are, you become yourself ^^
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I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Bisexual, transsexual, girlie girl, princess, furry that writes horror stories and proud ^^
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
An Idea
I'm trying to synthesize all these arguments. It seems like:
The tumor is growing very slowly if at all. The family, or Dad and Erika can get a few other opinions on the tumor and what to do with it.
I suppose that the "not sure she's TS people" could be right, so she should work with another psychologist, one with lots of experience with TSs.
Some happy post-ops say they didn't feel especially feminine when young. Maybe they went into denial really fast; they wanted to be obedient or loved and the taboo against acting or even thinking fem may have been very strong. Who knows?
Let's say Erika convinces the necessary people that she's TS. There appears to be a slight chance that leaving the tumor in could be risky.
The solution: Remove the tumor and her gonads. Get her on hrt. Everyone can relax. :-)
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Not Until She's Old Enough
Medical ethics doesn't support removing the gonads electively for an adolescent. However, it does support (albeit with a bit of controversy) administering a synthetic hormone (an analogue of Gonadotropin Releasing Hormone, "GnRH") that specifically blocks puberty until the adolescent grows up to be able to legally elect surgery.
I'm pretty sure Erika is in a position to negotiate for this, if not legally, then at least persuasively. Besides, between being squished by the tumor, and whatever trauma is going to be caused in the area by the brain surgery, her pituitary might not be up to snuff anytime soon anyway. Might take a year or more just to recover.
Big Headed :)
Anistasia:
I see that you are getting just lots of votes and comments. I hope that you don't start acting like a celebrity and become unapproachable. Please don't allow it to go to your head sweety. :) I am just being cheeky and trying to make you laugh. I know that I had pituitary problems, but never got shots or anything ... never had an MRI or anything.
Your new ideas an plot twists are very entertaining. Please continue, I wait with bated breath. :)
Gwen
Wow, Anistasia.
"Did you give me what I want... just to take it away?"
Amazing stuff, Anistasia. Powerful.
Profound respects, Ma'am.
Sarah Lynn
Great going!
Certainly an important moment, when she says, "What if I don't want it removed?"
Her feelings are very clear.
Major props for this chapter, Anistasia.
Kaleigh
Erica’s mom
wow her mom is being a bitch.
hugs :)
Michelle SidheElf Amaianna
"Thank you for loving me."
been there ...