Chapter 14 - The Secret Spreads

By the time Polly and Sheila reached Rosemary's door, Polly was getting nervous. Very nervous. The day had gone surprisingly well. As one more anonymous girl wandering the aisles of the thrift shops, Polly was taken for just what she wanted to be: a teenage girl. Sheila's comment about people seeing what they wanted to see was very true. But now she was going to meet someone who knew Sheila well, and actually talk to her. If things went as planned she was going to change back to being Pete in this girl's house, there would be no secrets between them.

Yet what else could she do?

"Relax, Polly. Rosemary's crazier than I am. Everything will be fine."

"Relax? This place is a freaking mansion. Will the butler and the gardener and the upstairs maid know all about me before we're through?"

"So all right, her family has gobs of money. How else do you think she could just go out and get three sets of falsies when she wanted to mature before her time?"

"You make her sound like a wine commercial."

"We have shared a bottle or twelve in my wild-woman days."

"Oh, just great. A drunken rich bitch. You inspire such confidence."

"She's cool, and since her parents are workaholics she'll be the only one home. No staff, unless you count the cats. And don't try to count the cats, it's impossible."

Before Polly could answer the door opened.

"Sheila! What's happening girl?"

Polly couldn't help it. There stood Rosemary of the triple-tits, a good looking blonde with a cherubic face and a pair of breasts that certainly didn't need any help to fill her bra any more.

"Got me a bit of a situation, Rosie."

"Now how could a nice girl like you get into a situation? Let me count the ways. One: you hooked up with some creep again. Two: you're pregnant. Three: your parents gave up on you and you're homeless. Four…"

"You've made your point, Rosie. None of the above. I'd like you to meet my friend Polly."

"Well come on in and set yourself down. Nice to meet you, Polly. You wouldn't be the situation, would you?"

"I'm afraid I am."

"Now that's interesting, Sheila's situations are usually male and disreputable."

"You're closer than you know, Rosie," Sheila replied.

"Do tell!"

"There's no easy way to tell this…"

"With you there never is. Just get on with it."

"Remember I borrowed your falsies a while back?"

"Sure. What did you do with them? You never quite told me why."

"I gave them to my boyfriend."

"Sheila, even for you that's pretty weird."

"Just doing my best to keep Portland weird."

"Apparently. So what did your boyfriend do with my used tits?"

"He's wearing them."

"Like putting on a bra and stuffing it wearing them?"

"Got any other way to wear a pair of falsies?"

"There are some that glue on, you know."

"I didn't borrow any glue so that's out."

"OK, so your boyfriend is wearing a bra with my boobies in it. I gotta meet this dude."

"You already have."

"Go away! I know pot's legal here, but you don't smell like you've been smoking. What are you on, girl?"

"You're kinda slow today, Rosie. Polly is my boyfriend."

"Jesus Christ!"

"I don't think he's involved in this."

"You never know what you damn Baptists are going to come up with."

"Polly is a Unitarian."

"And I'm a monkey's uncle. She's shitting me, isn't she Polly?"

"Nope. And thank you for your generosity, they're really comfortable to wear."

"Oh my aching… back!!

"Polly gives a great backrub, give her a try."

"Uh-uh. I'll keep my hands off your girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever."

"It would be her hands on you."

"Enough! You're trying to confuse me."

"She does a pretty good job of confusing any situation, don't you think?" laughed Polly.

"Wait a minute! You're the girl she wants to work with us this summer. The girl who will be working for my Italian Catholic aunt and uncle. I think I've finally found someone crazier than my good buddy Sheila!"

"She fooled you, didn't she Rosie?"

"For all of five minutes. We're talking the entire summer. My Uncle isn't exactly Mafia or anything but he could play one on TV. You want to end up at the bottom of the McKenzie River or something?"

"Really, Rosie, he isn't be that bad."

"Ah, he isn't, he just likes to make people think he is. I can wrap him around my little finger."

"Look! Polly needs a job. I need Polly. You need me to help. It will all work out."

"And you're going to be sharing a cabin with Polly, you sly bitch?"

"Isn't it nice when things work out so well?"

"Of course your folks have no idea, do they?"

"They know we're lovers so we don't have to hide anything from them, and your aunt and uncle will be watching out for us."

"And you just kinda forgot to mention your roommate is your boyfriend to Russ and Rose?"

"I have a terrible memory."

"Yeah. You seem to have forgotten what happened with whats-his-name when you were thirteen."

"Twelve, not that it matters."

"Well, anybody looking at Polly might think she couldn't get you pregnant, but…"

"I'm on the pill. Nobody can get me pregnant."

"That must be a relief to your parents."

"It's a relief to me."

"I am sitting here, girls."

"As if this didn't concern you, Polly. It's Polly's peter that I'm worried about."

"Now don't pick on Peter Polly's pecker, Rosie."

"I hate to spoil all your fun, but I do need to be getting home sometime before school starts in the morning." Polly observed.

"I suppose so. Can you entertain Polly for a few minutes while I go and get her other clothes."

"Heh, heh, heh," snarked Rosie. "You and I got a lot to talk about while she's gone. Tell me all about it, every last detail. How do you know Sheila?"

"She's my second cousin. Her grandfather was my grandmother's brother.