Chapter 15 - Graduation

"Peter! Hurry up or we'll be late!" called Pete's mother."

"Coming!"

"Nice dress, Pete"

"You, my annoying little sister, are wearing a dress. I, as befits my status as a graduate of an institute of higher learning, am wearing an academic gown, the traditional garment of those who have attained academic excellence.

"Well la-te-dah! I think Sheila's red gown looked much better yesterday."

"A burlap sack would look better on Sheila than anything would on me, Vicky."

"You got that right."

"Into the car, children. Your dad's waiting."

"Don't trip on your skirt, Pete," taunted Vicky.

"Peter, don't give her the satisfaction," warned his mother. "Vicky, behave yourself."

"That's no fun."

"Hey Pete!" called Dave. "They really going to let you walk?"

"I should maybe use a wheelchair?"

"You know what I mean."

"3.9 old buddy. What'd you get."

"Mumble mumble."

"Speak up, I didn't hear that."

"Shut up, it's about to start."

"Congratulations, son," Pete's father offered.

"Yeah, you made it down the runway without tripping on your dress." laughed Vicky.

"Runways are for fashion shows. I crossed a stage, dummy." Pete scoffed.

"You should try it in heels like I had to, Pete." Sheila joked.

At least Pete hoped she was joking.

"I bet he wouldn't make it. Scoffed Vicky."

"You want bets, go to Las Vegas." grumped Pete.

"Nah, the Ilani casino is only ten miles away."

"Irene, how did we raise such precocious kids?" asked Pete's father.

"I'd say they were adopted if I didn't remember the pain of birthing them."

"They certainly are a pain now."

"Just think, only three more years until they're both gone, then we can live it up." crowed Irene.

"Hey Dad," asked Pete, "Can I get you to sign my school loan papers before I go away?"

"I knew there was a flaw in the plans, Irene."

"There always is, dear."

"Don't burn any bridges," warned Sheila. "We'll need babysitters someday."

"Now just a minute!" Scott was looking alarmed.

"How about several years, please."

"We aren't that stupid, Mom. Besides, I haven't even asked her to marry me. Sheila sometimes gets ahead of herself."

"Nothing like planning ahead," Sheila said with a grin.

"Watch out son, your mother said something very similar once upon a time and here you are heading off to college."

"I'll keep my eyes open, Dad."

"If they're focused on her it may not do you any good."

"Oh, I'll be very good to him, Mr Z."

"That's what I'm afraid of. We're trusting you two, you know."

"Dad, I wouldn't do anything you wouldn't do."

"That's what I'm afraid of," his wife responded.

"How did I let you talk me into this?" grumped Rosemary.

"Because you're a hopeless romantic who can't stand in the path of true love?"

"So giving my old boobs to your boyfriend so he can change sex and masquerade as your girlfriend and fool my aunt and uncle into letting you sleep together is how you get to true love? That would make one hell of a romance novel."

"Rosie, didn't you read any of the stuff I showed you about sex and gender?" asked Sheila

"Sure I read it. I doubt my priest would be happy about it though."

"After reading what makes priests happy in the news lately, that's probably just as well."

"I'm not a boy so I guess I'm safe."

"Yeah, those priests are going to give gays a bad name. How could they have more than a dozen priests molesting boys and not notice?"

"Lots of ways to Keep Portland Weird, aren't there? Speaking of your boyfriend, you want me to hide his boy clothes here so he can be a girl for the summer?"

"There wouldn't be room for both sets in your car. Besides, every little bit of weird helps the Portland ambiance."

"But we won't be in Portland."

"Details! Piddling details!"

"Well, Polly changed her clothes here once, and she's doing it again right now. She must be a girl because she didn't scatter her underwear all over the floor when she took it off last time."

"You seen my engagement ring yet?"

"You're kidding! He popped the question?"

"Nah, I got it on Amazon to keep the wolves at bay."

"You're bad!"

"I got one for Polly, too"

"Oooh! Big spender!"

"$9.79 each including shipping."

"You're gonna have gangrene in a week, girl."

"But isn't it worth it for true love," swooned Sheila.

"I'm gonna puke."

"I don't start as a maid until we get to the hotel. Clean it up yourself."

"Damn! It's hard to find good help these days."

"I'd better go knock on your bedroom door and see if Polly is ready. I wouldn't want you to walk in halfway between incarnations."

"I've seen it before, just not all on the same body."

"OK ladies," called Rosie. "Last chance - anything you've forgotten is gone for the summer."

"I'm ready," responded Sheila.

"Let's get going before I come to my senses," replied Polly.

"Then ladies, we're on our way!"