Heat Rises

Chapter 3

I missed having Jody walking to school with me. I saw him when I got to school, and we all but ignored each other. Even though it was my idea, it still hurt my feelings. I felt kind of silly for being so sensitive. Jody told the guys that I was just harassing the principal by the way I was dressing and Claire told the girls. There were a few who said, “Yeah, right,” but for the most part, everyone bought it. When it came time for P.E., I went straight to the library. Jody had someone watching the locker room door in case the teachers tried to get me in there. There was a restroom that was in a part of the school that was closed for repairs. My bladder could hold a lot, but I went there if I really needed to go.

My mom made me an appointment with a psychiatrist who specialized in “gender dysphoria”. I told my mom I wanted a female doctor, and she was happy to comply. I liked Dr. Amy Foster when I met her. She gave me a number of personality tests. I told her about everything that went on at school and about my relationship with Jody and how much I missed being with him. She said I was brave continuing in the same school the way I did. Since I was already on testosterone blockers and was obviously serious about the issue, she had no problem with giving me female hormones and wrote a script on the first visit.

School went on without any major issues. I guess I looked so much like a girl that no one gave it any thought anymore. Ashley, my spy in the principal’s office said the principal was convinced I would give in. If I was breaking the dress code or any other rules, he would have gladly intervened. I’m sure if he could convince anyone to harass me, he would have, but he was, as I indicated before, disliked by students, teachers, administration, and anyone else who had to deal with him. His favorite saying was, “My way or the highway.” When he became a school principal, he apparently felt it was akin to becoming God. He felt no need to negotiate on an issue unless someone on the other side could hurt him or his chances for advancement. He had researched my mom’s career, and found that there was no point trying to negotiate with her; only that it was best to not antagonize her. She had been a strong, no-nonsense woman since her high school days, and her law degree gave her the muscle to follow through when someone presented a problem. She particularly disliked bureaucrats who sat behind desks and issued edicts for those under their purview without understanding the issues that were faced daily by those they sought to micromanage. Principal Hammond was a prime example of such an out-of-touch manager. He had taken some courses in psychology and thought he had a superb understanding of human behavior and the concept of personality. He saw those he managed as so many animals to be manipulated with positive and negative reinforcement. He liked the negative much better, so the positive reinforcement was rare, and limited to himself and, occasionally, a pretty female subordinate. He saw himself as a handsome up-and-coming professional with a special interest in pretty young women. He was a prime example of self-deception.

So, I think part of the reason I didn’t get more resistance from the principal was his reluctance to alienate a pretty girl; even if the ‘girl’ aspect was not what it looked like. He was, of course, a very shallow person. So, if it looks like a girl, walks like a girl, and talks like a girl, it’s a girl and she won’t be able to resist his advances. He wouldn’t admit to thinking this way, of course, but his behavior told the true story. When I passed him in the hall, he didn’t look me in the eye, but afterward, I could feel him look me in the ass, and I would give my hips a little extra feminine sway; something to hypnotize (hipnotize?) him. “You like this girl. You don’t want to give her any trouble. She wants to sleep with you.”

Hey, whatever it takes! People will believe what they want to believe; especially someone whose life is ruled by self-deception.

Then the unthinkable happened. One of the football players asked me to go steady! I couldn’t believe it. I told him I would think about it. After school, I called Jody.

Even though we hadn’t spoken in about a month, he answered as if we talked every day.

“What’s up, Honey?”

“Jody, you’re too sweet!”

“I know. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too! Hey, you know Ken Hayden?”

“Yeah. He’s a football player, right?”

“Yeah. He asked me to go steady.”

“No shit! Oh, sorry, Baby. What did you tell him?”

“I told him I’d think about it.”

“Well, I think you should get your sister to see if he’s doing it on a dare or something.”

“I didn’t think of that.”

“Yeah, if it’s legit, do it.!”

“What!? Jody, I’m your ….”

“Hey, listen. You go with him for a while, maybe go with somebody else for a while. It becomes OK to date you. Then, we can get back together. If you still want to ….”

“Jody, don’t talk like that. I love you and only you!”

“Yeah, but you know what?”

I didn’t like the sound of that. “What, Jody.”

“I love you too.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Do you realize that’s the first time I’ve said that?”

I search my memory banks. “Oh, wow. Jody, that’s a milestone!” I felt my heart start to beat a little faster.

“Yeah, I can’t wait until we can get back together. Listen, if you go out with this guy, kiss him if you have to, but no sex of any kind!”

“Why?”

“Think! What’s he gonna talk about in the locker room the next day? He’s gonna give a ‘blow by blow’ description of it!”

“’ Blow by blow’, huh? I’m glad you said that and not me.”

“I love you, Chrissy.”

“I love you, Jody. Bye.”

When Claire got home, she came straight to my room and tapped on the door.

“Come in Claire.”

“S’up Sis?”

“Claire, I need advice.”

“That’s what big sisters are for.”

“Ken Hayden asked me to go steady.”

“Football player Ken Hayden?”

“Yeah.”

“No! Really?”

“Yeah, but what if it’s a joke, or he did it on a dare? Can you find out?”

“Sure. Not right now. I’ll talk to his sister tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Claire!”

“What about Jody?”

“I talked to Jody. He said if I go out with Ken and maybe one other guy, it’ll make it cool for guys to go out with me and Jody and I can get together.”

“Good plan! I’ll talk to Karen tomorrow.”

“Karen?”

“Ken’s sister!”

“Oh. Thanks again. Every girl should have a big sister. OK, one more problem.”

“What’s that?”

“I haven’t got a thing to wear to school tomorrow!”

“Poor thing! Do we need to go on another shopping trip?”

“No. I’m out of closet space. I’m sure the perfect outfit for tomorrow is in there somewhere, and I know you can find it.”

“Of course! I can see it from here!” She walked to my closet and pulled out a beautiful, slinky, sparkly red dress. “Here it is …” she pulled some espadrilles from the side shelf of my closet. “… with these shoes! The heels on these will give your legs a sexy look, and give you an even more sexy walk. If Ken is joking around, when he sees you in this, he’ll realize the joke’s on him.”

“Beautiful! Thanks, Claire!”

“I really think Ken is serious. He doesn’t seem to be the kind of person who would do something so mean. I’ll make sure, though.”
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The next day, the weather was extra hot making classes seem longer than usual. As I was walked toward my English class, I thought how perfect my life was becoming. If I went with Ken I gained legitimacy as a girl. I felt like eventually, Ken would decide he wanted that which every teen boy wants so badly … sex. A breakup then would be bittersweet, because my Jody would be there. I wasn’t even going with Ken yet, here I was thinking about Ken breaking up with me. Truthfully, I didn’t have near the amount of trust in Ken that I had developed during the time I had known Jody.

The school hallway seemed unusually noisy that day. I figured it was a pep rally. Did we have a game tonight? I had no idea, but if I dated Ken, I would know when the games were and would have to go to all of them. Oh, well, you can’t have everything! What if I were asked to be a cheerleader? No way! No one would even notice the other cheerleaders. Everyone would be looking when I jumped and my skirt came up to see if they could get a glimpse of a bulge that shouldn’t be there. Cheerleading would be a dream for any voyeurs in attendance, but not very effective for boosting school spirit. It would also make me the enemy of the other cheerleaders as well as those who tried and fail to be cheerleaders themselves. Can you imagine a girl who lost the chance at this coveted position to a boy? Cheerleading was out!

The noisy crowd of students started running toward me. I heard a “pop … pop” sound like firecrackers. I tried to get out of the way, but Ken was running toward me fast. He grabbed my arms and pushed me to the floor and lay there on top of me.

I never knew a person could be so heavy. I couldn’t move. He put his hand on my forehead so I couldn’t even lift my head. I looked in his eyes and saw fear. “Ken … get … off!”

All he managed to say was, “No! Stay down!” Then, I heard Pop … pop … pop very loudly now. Ken’s body jerked with each “pop”, then went limp and his head fell on my shoulder. Over him stood a grungy looking kid who then moved the barrel of the gun to aim it right at my face! Time seemed to slow down. I prayed, “Oh, God, don’t let my life end! Please, God!” I looked at the kid’s hand and could see him tightening his grip on the trigger. “Oh God …!” Suddenly, Mr. Mathis, the English teacher, knocked the kid down with incredible force, and the gun went sliding across the floor.

I was frozen with fear. I felt a warm liquid on my right hand and managed to look. Blood! Was it my blood or Ken’s? I thought about my beautiful dress, then was ashamed to think like that! Ken’s face was now on my shoulder and he wasn’t moving. He had definitely been shot, but I still wasn’t sure if I had. It seemed forever before help arrived. Even when paramedics got there, it still seemed like a long time before they lifted him off me.

“He saved your life, miss!”

“Is he OK?”

“He’s got a pulse. He lost quite a bit of blood. We’ll have to see. Are you OK? Did you get hit?”

“I … don’t know. I felt the tears starting. Is Ken OK?”

“We'll take good care of your friend. Sit up. Let's look. Any pain?”

“Well, I had a football player on top of me for a while, but I don’t think I’ve been shot. Please tell me Ken’s gonna be OK.”

“Yeah, I just heard. He’s conscious. He’s gonna be ok.” I think he was lying to me because he thought I was going to be hysterical.

A female paramedic was there. “Come on, let’s get you on a stretcher.”

“No! I’m fine!”

“You need to be checked out!”

I had been carrying my cell phone in my hand and, miraculously, I was still holding onto it. I punched my mom’s number.

“What’s up, Honey?”

“Hey, Mom. Everything is fine. Just wanted you to know I’m OK.”

“Why, what’s happened.”

“There was a shooting. I just wanted you to know I’m fine.”

“What about Claire?”

“I’ll find her, Mom, I promise.”

“I’ll be there ASAP.” She disconnected. I knew she would try to call my sister, so I texted Claire to call Mom right away. Meanwhile, I was sitting on the floor in a pool of Ken’s blood. I thought about letting them put me on a stretcher, but I didn’t want to take resources that someone else might really need.

The thought kept running through my mind, “It really happened here. It really happened here.” There had been so many school shootings around the country, but no one thought it would happen at our school.

Then, Claire was there. She was standing right in front of me.

“Claire! Are you OK?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Gotta go!” With that, she rushed away.

“Where you gotta go, Claire? Call Mom!” She disappeared into the crowd.

I got my phone and clicked on my Mom’s number.

“Hello?”

“Mom, I just saw Claire. She’s fine.”

“Ok, good. I’m on my way.”

I finally stood up. It was difficult to move after having a football player on top of me and sitting on the floor for so long. The girls’ room was just across the hall. Without even thinking about it, I went in to clean up. I washed my hands and face. There was not as much blood on my dress as I thought there was. It might be salvaged, but I doubted I would wear it to school again, if at all.

Apparently, there was only one shooter. I went outside, where everywhere there were groups of students telling their stories. I wondered where Claire could have gone. I realized that she had said, “I’ll be fine,” instead of, “I’m fine”. Had she been injured in some way? But, I was probably making a big deal of nothing. Everyone was under stress, but the danger was over when I saw her, so I knew everything was fine.

I saw my mom’s car and waved. She pulled up and said, “Get in the car.”

“I haven’t seen Claire again. I don’t know where she ….”

“She’s in surgery.”

“What? That’s impossible! I saw her after the shooting was over and she was fine!”

“I don’t know who you saw, but Claire’s in the hospital. I got a call as I pulled up at the school just now.”

I didn’t know what to say. I knew what I saw. I saw Claire and she spoke to me. It didn’t take long to get to the hospital and we rushed in to look for my sister.

“Claire Davis?” My mom was near panic.

“Emergency surgery … just down that way to you left.”

We found where Claire was in surgery but, of course, we couldn’t go in. I wasn’t long, however, before the doctor came out.

“She had a wound in her chest. It missed her heart by less than an inch, but she’ll be fine. I’m going to keep her in intensive care for a while, though. I’d like to keep an eye on her. You’ll be able to go visit her for about 5 minutes after they get her set up.”

My mom asked, “Doctor, how long was she in surgery?”

“About an hour. She was the first one they brought in.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

“Mom, that means she was here when I thought I saw her at school.”

“Chrissy, I think you did see her.”

“What? How?”

“She sent you a message from her heart to yours. What did she say, exactly?”

“I said, ‘Claire, are you OK?’. She said, ‘Yeah. I’ll be fine.’”

“Right. ‘I will be fine’. Not I am fine’. The message was that she would be fine after surgery. Chrissy, most siblings are not as close as you and Claire. Some bicker, argue and fight. It makes me happy that y’all love each other and y’all are so close. I feel like y’all will be close your whole lives. You both have a friend for life. With this, (she waved her hand at the way I was dressed) you’ll be even closer, and I’m as happy as I can be. You’ll be almost as close as twin sisters. I love you both so much. I couldn’t wish for better children.”

“Thanks, Mom. Wow! Mom, I actually did see her! It was like I could have reached out and touched her!”

“You’re blessed with love … both of you! You know, most girls would be mad as hell if they had a brother who got into their stuff. Claire never said a word. I probably should have guessed, though, since I kept finding my own stuff out of place.”

“Sorry, Mom.”

“It’s Ok. You never left anything dirty or torn up. I think you have more than me, now. I may need to borrow now and then.”

I smiled at my mom. “Sure! Do you think she will remember sending me that message?”

“Probably not. We’ll ask her.”

After about 20 minutes, we were told we could go in and see Claire. We went in quietly. She was awake, but looked very sleepy.

“Claire? It’s Mommy and Chrissy.”

Her speech was somewhat slurred, but we could understand her. “Hey. This is crazy! Chrissy? Are you OK? I thought about you. I wanted to tell you not to worry about me.”

“You did!”

“Huh?”

“We’ll tell you more later. Right now, you need to rest, OK?”

“Ok.” She closed her eyes and we left the room.

“Mom, I wonder if Jody is ok.”

“Ok, but first, young lady,” my Mom said, “you have blood on your new dress. You haven’t been shot. What happened?”

“It’s football player blood, Mom.”

“What?”

“A football player name Ken Hayden fell on top of me and protected me. He was shot and bled on me. I need to see if he’s here.”

My mom asked about him. He was also in surgery, but they wouldn’t tell us anything else because we weren’t kin.

“Well, you have yourself a hero.”

“Mom, get this, just yesterday he asked me to go steady.”

“Really? You’re getting the hang of this in a hurry.”

“I wasn’t really sure he was serious. Now I see that he was serious enough to take a bullet for me though! Could you ask about Jody?”

My mom asked about Jody, but they said they had no one by that name.

“That’s good, Mom. Jody is probably OK. I’ll try his cell phone.” I punched Jody’s number in on my cell and it went straight to voice mail. It was good to hear his voice, even though it was just a recording saying he was unable to get to the phone, and please leave a message. I didn’t bother leaving a message, because he never checked his messages anyway.

In the hospital hall, I saw Aspen Jennings. She always knew the latest news, so I asked her if she had heard anything.

“One student was killed,” she said breathlessly. “All I know is that his first name is ‘James’.” Even though it was bad news I could tell she loved being the font of all knowledge.

“Thanks, Aspen. Ok, Mom, I guess I’ll catch up with Jody later.”

We got into the car and headed for home. I was thinking about Claire, Ken, Jody, and some of the other kids. Suddenly, I remembered something about Jody.

“Oh my God, Mom!” I burst into tears. “No! No! No!”

I was sobbing uncontrollably and near panic. My mom pulled the car over. “What is it, Chrissy?”

Next: A rose by any other name….